Quickie

Just a quick update.

I'm doing great, surgery-wise.

Rick is the just the same.

I am not writing today just sending you some memes and wishing you all a Happy 4th of July holiday weekend to my American readers. 

Rock Star

It's 330a here in my hospital room. Definitely is quiet at this time. Trouble sleeping. I so want to lay on my side, which is how I sleep normally but it's too painful.

I've had a nurse all week during the day that is a Rock Star nurse!  Her name is Sophia. She is da bomb.

Sophia is young, gorgeous and so kind. Patient, and smart. I enjoy when she stays a bit and chats with me. I always feel like I'm taking her time and she tells me this is also part of her nursing job. To know the patients is to also help them she tells me. Make them not feel so isolated when away from family.

No matter what is thrown at her she smiles and handles it. I just adore her.

And as my night nurse, Kim says, she's so pretty even after a 12 hr shift you want to hate her but she's too lovely to feel that way. 

I understood what she meant.

My night nurse wears a mask and her accent is so thick I am always asking her to repeat. But she's very nice as well. Just not like my rock star. She's nice and does her job but nothing extra.And she came in tonight when I was actually sleeping and says, "Peggy, Peggy, Peggy, do you want some tylenol?" Omg. I could hurt her. I was finally asleep.

When I had no food for days Sophia snuck in an Italian ice. Not food but something to eat. The next day I got some vanilla ice cream. Sure it's only 1/4-1/2 cup but it was food I could eat, not chew, but I can't being picky now can I?

Leaving in the a.m. I could have gone home yesterday, Friday. Rick and Laura came to visit and Rick was exhausted and looked it. He apologized and said he had to go home. Then of course the drs come in and tell me I can leave. I couldn't ask Rick to come back and Laura can't leave him alone. It is not close to home. So I asked if I could leave first thing in the morning. 

So there you go.

I walk like the evolution chart.

I finally can go home.

And if I never see this night nurse again I will be happy!!

Walking

I look like the evolution chart. Getting up is very painful as you can imagine with all this abdomenal surgery.

I start hunched over and slowly get upright.

This morning I'm hangry. I had a yogurt. No food since Monday.

How much broth can one ingest? I'm at my max I'll tell you that. I skip meals. I just can't drink broth 3x a day. 

They gave this yankee grits this a.m. No! Gross. I don't even eat Italian grits(polenta) I don't understand their appeal. Yuk!!

Rick and Laura are coming with some food for me.

Drs were to be here tthis morning. Hoping they say I can go home now. 

I have not slept for 24hrs. They gave me milk of magnesia and a stool stimulator. So I've gone since 2p and still going. It's pouring out of me. OK TMI.

I hope to go home and have a scrambled egg and a piece of gf toast. Mmmm...food.

That's all for today.

Fingers crossed dr shows up this a.m. and I'm homeward bound

__________

Update-

Laura and Rick left and then the doc came in and said I could go home. She can't leave Rick and come and I don't wish to drag him out again since he is so fatigued. So tomorrow morning I'm going home.

I got real food today so I feel better and I'm nicer now😃

From Hospital

 From my hospital room...

I have not eaten since Monday and I get a liquid meal. Oh yum.

All the inerds removed and my abdomen is in some real pain. But I just got drugs so hopefully that will help. 

They have me walking a lot!! Guess to get things flowing. 

And my husband is right, there is no sleeping or resting in a hospital. They come in all night for vitals, blood draw etc. 

I looked at my lunch menu and there is nothing I can eat. Hospitals suck. There are a million+ people who have celiac disease.  There is no cure or medicine. So my diet must be adhered to so I don't get really sick and in pain.  So no food for me.  I even ask the food department is the tomato soup was a can, if so you see I know there is wheat in it. She didn't know. WTh? So I will continue to not eat I guess. Sucks. 

 Ok you don't need me bitching.

I'm doing ok for first day after surgery they tell me. 

Oh and because I rescheduled my surgery due to the stroke I am at a little hospital  in a small town south of me called Smithfield (as in ham & bacon people) everyone is southern unlike Raleigh. All have heavy accents and this sweet woman was talking and I only got a few words. I feel so bad having to ask to repeat. I actually told her I was a Yankee who just moved here and is struggling with the accent. For some reason she found that hysterical (better than offended) she said, "thank you for saying that so nicely. I'll slow down for you. You're funny I'm gonna like you."

Now how was that funny? But hey whatever it takes right? I'm gonna learn southern if it kills me. 

Like, "I'm fixin' to git out of my chair and not cry in pain. "Tee hee

Talk to you all sooon

 

Sunday

I am about to head out to the airport to pick up my Angels.

I was with Rick all morning at the hospital. Last day of rehab. He is so excited to get home. He had speech, OT and PT today.  He likes the idea of a week off before he begins all this rehab stuff again.

He wants dunkable eggs, real bacon and a salad and fruit. 
These are the things he is craving. I brought him watermelon and canelope this morning. He was so happy!

Okay I will be prepping for my surgery which means the toilet. They clean you out, then tell you that you can't eat anything the day before then they tell you that you can't go home until you poop?  How do they think that will happen?

The worst part is if I am in the hospital they always feed me gluten then I get sick for two weeks. You'd think a hospital would understand the autoimmune diease, celiac wouldnt you? But never!

So I refuse to eat the crap they will bring to me. Laura and Rick will bring me food or I eat nothing. 

Here is todays' photo of my lopsided smiling man. He was given a t-shirt congratulating him on his day of independence. Tomorrow is 28 days he has been in the hospital. It's time for him to come home and thank God he is coming home.

Be back after my surgery guys. I really don't know what to expect. When asked they told me I'd be up walking within hours.Okay but when that nerve block wears off where will I be? Yeah, no one elaborates on that one!

See you soon.

Saturday

I am changing my blog name/url.

It has come to my attention that this is extremely necessary.  

So if you wish to continue reading me once I get the changes up and running I would like to ask you to send me an email with your request to continue reading me and I will send you the new domain. 

I will collect your emails to me and I will send it to all who request it. 

My email is on this blog site.

But I see from comments the link isn't working. 

So here ya go...mhugill@verizon.net 

Please state your name and city you are writing from. 

That will help me a great deal. 

In the meantime, I'm still right here. 😁

I will post here until after my surgery then a new blogger name / URL etc.

Thanks.

This above is something I've thought of but NEVER did. This made Rick laugh and asked if I changed my handle to Midge. 

The Bad Wife

Can someone explain to me how trump can run for office?

If you commit a felony you aren't allowed to vote. So you can run for office?

I missed this day in social studies obviously, can someone clear this up for dumb ole Margaret?

Because Rick is doing well he is not as what I call needy. So this Saturday I am not going to the hospital so I can get things ready for company. Buying all their food and booze and stocking up the fridge and pantry for all 3 of them while I'm in the hospital. Guest room cleaned and stocked. 

I told Rick I was probably not coming on Saturday and he said, "Okay no problem, got a date?"  I told him I'm too tired to date, no one wants a woman with these big bags under my eyes.  He laughed and said, "I love a big ole bags under the eyes woman, does she want a big ole baby man who drools?"  I most certainly do I told him. 

Thursday he had an hour before the next therapy and we were talking and laughing but his door was almost closed. A nurse knocked on the door and asked if we were okay. She wasn't sure we were laughing or crying or what was going on. Rick told her what he was telling me about OT and Speech and made us all now laugh.

She said, "Oh he's feeling better!"  

We were given the list of outside rehab that specializes in strokes. Which we think is better than someone who does knee injuries and then a stroke victim. 

We wanted them to have their focus on stroke victims and that is what we got. This is the same reason we would never choose a skilled nursing facility. I've been to one. You don't get much attention, the nursing is not stroke-related, and you are basically left in a chair or bed we found. That is not what he needs. He needs to move and be active to get strong. So we just skipped that whole nursing facility. We also knew someone who went to one and it was exactly as I described above. 

I am sure there are some good ones, but in our experience with friends and family, we have never seen that. Even someone at the hospital made a comment and then shut down. I later asked a woman whose husband had a stroke and was in a class with me and she said, "Don't go that route, my sister did and it was horrific" \So I've been asked so many times by friends and family why we didn't go that route and that is why. Just not the right decision for us. 

There is another bldg on this campus of the hospital that is outside rehab. It listed aquatics. That appealed to Rick. Some of the facilities were so far away I just didn't want to make that trip but I gave all this info to Rick and asked him. He said I am inclined to pick the place with the pool and if no pool, I'd pick the hospital near us. (less than 3 miles and oh thank you, Rick)

Now we are at a hospital called WakeMed. It's a huge campus.  

He entered via the ER, then he was in the hospital Neuro ICU, then ICU, and then a regular room in the hospital. 

Then he was sent to rehab which is another bldg on the WakeMed campus. 

Thursday I called the case manager who gave me the list of rehab facilities. 

She said aquatics could not be promised and maybe towards the end of his rehab he could use the pool. So I share this with Rick when I'm off the phone. He said I'm not making you drive up here on the chance that they will let me in the pool. 

I say, there is a WakeMed rehab facility by our house. It is only a rehab facility, not a hospital but part of the WakeMed hospital and rehab we've been in.  The case manager does the calling to them and sends them all his info and then they will call me to schedule. This case manager has done all insurance issues for me. I haven't had to do anything other than the short-term care that I am currently dealing with.  She's been a huge asset to us!!

So I am thrilled about him picking the one just a few minutes away. Yeah for me.

We both also like the fact that it is continuing care staying at the same hospital. He just isn't living there, just visiting. And they have all his info etc. 

I hope the therapists there are as good as the ones he has now. Nunzio pushes him big time but he's making him stronger. Karen is his speech and she pushes him but softer. Kelly is his OT and she is on his case about everything. She is relentless. But that too is good for him as well.

He hunches when he uses the walker and she makes him stand up straight and tells him, "Hunching makes you look like an old man." 

Rick responded with, "I am an old man" She tells him he isn't. He just laughs, but he stands up straight.  He listens to all 3 of them. They have been telling him that after my final class on Friday, I too am one of his therapists and I have to be listened to. He laughs and said, "That's how it's always been"  Yeah, right. 

But he made them laugh which makes him happy. 

Deanna is what we call his Happy Nurse. She just is so up and has such an uplifting fun energy. I walked in at 8:30 this morning to them laughing in his room. I said, "Dare I ask what's going on in here?" 

She said, "Oh this one just makes me laugh and I love coming to his room. Does he do this all the time.?"  I told her, yes.

She said, "I married a cranky bastard and divorced him. I need to find a funny one.:

Rick said, "I'm sorry I'm already married,"  

She said, "Well Rick you're too old for me and you've had a stroke."  

He laughed so hard he began to choke. Then everyone gets scared. 

He put up his hand and said, "I'm okay"   Then he told her "That was a good response, you'll find him!"  

He has his little tribe at the hospital which is nice for him. The women flirt and the men tease and joke with him.

Then my curmudgeon and I go to the dining room for his lunch.

 A man with a crew cut says hello to Rick and Rick says hello back to him. 

I see that this man can't move his hands and they have to feed him. 

I say to Rick as we sit down, 'he seems nice."  

Rick shakes his head and says, "He's a prick"

WOW, Rick, that was real nice, what the hell is that about?

So he proceeds to tell me about this man he refers to as the redneck.

I listen to his dealings with him and others and then I understand. I get why Rick didn't care for him so I was glad to see he was nice and acknowledged him but I also understand when Rick said, "I don't wish to be around him but I'll be social and say hello"  Good. Please keep the filter going!

He asked me to pick 3 bowls to give to his therapists. So I did and I have thank you cards for Rick to sign and give them each with their bowl.  He has a love-hate relationship with them he said. He is so tired at the end of the day and if he has one more of his therapies he just wants to lay in bed and he gets a bit cranky. He had 5 hrs of therapy today. (Thursday)  

All 3 won't let him slide an inch. That's good because we want him to be able to live his life again in his workshop and his garden, which I am killing by the way. Just living is enough for me but having him stronger will make him a happier man which in turn makes life better for me. 

Gee, see how I make this all about me? Bad Wife. 🤣🤣

And on It Goes.

On Wednesday they had Rick in the gym walking with a thing around his waist and pulling a 30lb weight behind him. He did it. He cussed at Nunzio his PT man. But they both tease one another and Nunzio takes none of his crap. He asked him why he was slowly down. Rick told him, "give me a break I just had a stroke"  Nunzio laughed and said, "so you're going to play the stroke card are you?" Rick told him that was all he had. 

Each week the therapists have a meeting to discuss their stroke patients. I get a report on Rick after these meetings. They normally will discuss any questions I have after I read the report. Today he was upgraded to outside therapy instead of in-home therapy.

They felt he was mobile enough to go to outside therapy but it was up to Rick. He told them he was very comfortable with outside therapy. I'll be honest here - in my mind, I was thinking NO, I am tired of schlepping somewhere daily. NO, please come to our home. But it's not about me, is it?

Rick told them he would love to go to outside therapy. (did you hear that 'damn it' from here?)  Rick was excited to have to go out and as he said, "be like a kid and get a car ride"  I get it. I understand exactly where he's coming from. So I will schlep here about town for PT, OT and speech. It will all be in one place thank God. (At least that is what I was told today)  I will receive a printout tomorrow to see which one I choose. Hopefully one closer than the hospital but if not, it is what it is. To me, it's the fact that Rick is alive. He can communicate and he will only get better and stronger in time.

I got all the grab bars. They are sending us home with a walker with front wheels, a tub seat that fits on the outside and inside so one doesn't have to lift a leg. It also has a slot for the shower curtain so nothing but the patient gets wet and a thingy that fits on the toilet in the master which is like grab bars. I bought him a great waking stick that I purchased for my mom when she was having trouble walking before her knee replacement.  It has a swivel foot that is great for uneven ground etc. She loves that stick!

Grace, a blogger was kind enough to give me a list of things I may need since she has been going through this as well. I was sorry to hear that but she was very helpful. Some things I am getting from the hospital and some I bought and she gave me some great ideas that I may need as well. I am waiting until he gets home. He has all he needs at this moment in time like a walker, walking stick, grab bars, seat for the tub, toilet thingy/safety rail for the master bath as I stated above. It's a lot of shit but if he needs it for a while we have it. Then as we age we may need it all again.

Today his nurse Amanda stopped in to see if he needed anything. She said to me I haven't seen him in a week and I can't believe how far he's come in such a short time in speech and walking. Everyone says that but to me it doesn't seem like a short time. I also think because I see him daily I am not noticing the strides as much as others. 

But it has only been 3 weeks by the time he's out it will be exactly 4 weeks. Is that quick for a stroke?  They act like it is. I don't honestly know. I am certain that each stroke is different. And unlike the asshole that he had to share a room with who told him daily that he was doing so much better than Rick because he wanted it more and he did all the work. He didn't have a big stroke either from what he and the nurse shared, he liked to tell us that often as well. 

Needless to say, that would make Rick angry. One day Rick just gave him the finger when the redneck turned his back to Rick. I looked at Rick and put his hand down. He said he deserved it. Yes, but we don't do that in public when you share a room. Just ignore him.  I said this to a friend and she said, "Well rick would have done that pre-stroke you know" Yes, I am aware of that and I would have said the same thing then too. 

Rick has a regular diet now so he is happy. He ate a chef salad and he had berries for dessert and he was a happy camper. He's been craving a salad so that was nice for him.

Because he talks a lot more we were discussing his first week in the hospital. I asked him when he couldn't talk what made him think of sign language? I was so shocked at how much he remembered. He was talking to me in American Sign Language (ASL) and I didn't remember everything. I understood I'm sorry and I love you. I also understood his signing of asking me if I was okay. 

But honestly, I don't recall as much ASL as he has. He told me he just knew he couldn't talk with the tubes and he thought that was easier. HA, for him maybe.

The nurses asked me when he was signing what he wanted and needed. I eventually got what he was trying to tell them. He remembers all of that. The nurses thought using ASL was a great idea. As if he had a choice right then. He doesn't remember the stroke happening. He remembers being angry at me for calling 911 because he felt there was nothing wrong with him. But until the 2nd day in Neuro ICU he doesn't remember a lot of the first day which I think is just fine. I wish I didn't remember.

I can't wait until this is all a distant memory. 

I'll leave you with a few memes that tickled me.

Nope! Camping is a hotel without room service.

Coming Home!

Tuesday (today) Rick was taken to the rehab apartment on a floor below him. I was told to bring some food so he could cook with OT. So of course I had to be there very early. He told me what food to bring. 

He made an egg scramble with ham, onions, cubanelle pepper, eggs of course and cheese.

She watched him use a knife. She had him make changes if necessary. They both sat and ate.(I had breakfast already) I sat and listened.

She told him at the end that she was proud of what he did. She is really tough on him so this meant a lot to him. She doesn't say that often.  He too was proud.

He cooked and cleaned up. His left hand is still an issue for grabbing tightly. He can grab and feel now but a tight grip is still not there for him...yet. This frustrates him so. They work on it daily. I keep reminding him that 3 weeks ago he couldn't do anything with that arm/hand so be kind to yourself.

I saw he could do this cooking and dicing, but as she said, not without supervision at first.

I walked into his room this a.m.just after the Dr was there. He was told he's going home Monday. He is so happy. They asked him if he felt ready. A loud YES.

His therapy people agree.

They told me he has made great strides and he is where most are in 1/2 the time.

I told him he has to kick ass all week or he stays. He laughed and said, not true but I want to use my therapists as much as I can while I have them. Agreed!

He also got weighed today with clothes and heavy new balance sneakers and found he lost 31lbs. Helluva way to lose weight.

He said I have to keep the loss going. Yep.

Rick gained all this weight after he retired. He did physical labor. He would climb 12 flights of steps with heavy equipment. He was always physically moving etc.So he retires but was eating the same. How many times have you seen an athlete who after reitement blows up? Same with Rick. One can't eat the same without all that exercise. NOW he is hearing everyone on this topic. Only took a stroke to see his wife was right.

☺️

To say I'm happy he's coming home is an understatement. The hospital is sending us home with equipment they think he may want or need, like a walker with wheels in front. Some other things too.

I bought the grab bars and a  thingy for the master toilet for help getting up. He doesn't think he needs it. We shall see.

Tuesday was a good day. He was in better spirits and he did so well. 

That makes my day better too.

Can you say Condo?

Sunday morning at 7am I was out in Rick's garden picking beans, snap peas, and cubanelle peppers. Every day he asks about his damn garden. So, I'm trying as best as I can to keep it up. But I just don't enjoy it the same way he does. I do not find it zen. I find it a big fat chore. I'd rather iron for God's sake. 

While in the hospital, Rick used to ask where I was when I'd arrive at 8am. He was a bit clingy at first. He'd be asking nurses, have you seen my wife yet? Now if I get there at 9a he isn't fretting and asking everyone where his wife is. He is now at a stage where it's okay if I don't spend 8-9 hrs with him. Thank goodness.

I have to be honest I am bleeding. It's the fistula that is causing this. It is gross and disgusting and I can't wait for the surgery to be over. All that I am doing and then the bleeding and the fatigue is getting to me. Running none stop has to stop.😉 I am drained. So today after his lunch we went into the bathroom and he shaved as I watched him. He got all cleaned up for tomorrow. He said he would be ready for them to kick his ass again tomorrow. OT is there at 7:30 to get him in the shower. He showers alone but they wait outside the door to be sure he doesn't fall. Then OT begins. 

It was really nice that he got the weekend off. 

First one and boy did he ever enjoy it!

I think they will be sending him home soon. He has progressed a great deal and he is far better than most there. So I just have a feeling. Besides insurance usually only pays for 2-3 weeks. Unless I wish to pick up the remainder after my insurance or go to my other insurance. In all honesty, I think I'd prefer to use them later. I will see how this plays out for now. 

When Rick and I lost our corporate jobs one thing he'd always say is don't be late on the insurance. We have short-term and long-term care. (long term is for more like assisted living etc) So I think we will be using it for some home modifications like tub to shower. They were telling him about grab bars. Rick installed them for people every week when working. So he knows. This lady was talking like he was an imbecile who didn't know a screwdriver from a wrench. Finally, he stopped her and said, "Kelly I did this for a living. I prefer the Moen bars with the rubber grip so when your hands are wet you aren't slipping and sliding."  

So I went to Lowes and got the sizes he wanted and he insists he can do this himself. I want to call a handyman but I will let him try...maybe. 

She was trying to tell him how to install and he put his finger on his lips as if to say be quiet. Then he told her how they were done. She said, "so you do know"   I rolled my eyes because I was behind her. He saw me though. 

Today I couldn't open a bottled water and he did it for me. So his strength is coming back. 

Next Sunday is the arrival of our first friend. She will care for Rick while I'm in the hospital and then drive me to said hospital and pick me up.

I just want it to be over with. It's laparoscopy as I mentioned and I was told they will have me up and walking within an hour or so of my surgery. They want me to move. I want to move and eat something so I can poo and go home. They will not let me go home until I poop. I find that funny but I get it. They clean you out, make you not eat for the full day prior to surgery and they expect me to poop? What will I be pooping? Okay enough of that TMI.

Rick's original speech therapist in the ICU came over to rehab today to visit him. He loves her but she is the one who put the tube up his nose and down his throat to see him swallow. He HATED that tube and when he saw her he said, "Let me see your hands" She was shocked and pleasantly so she said that he was doing so much better. I told her my prediction was 6 months and he should be talking much better. They had a nice visit. She understood every word he said and told him he was doing well. That made him happy to hear. I think he needs to hear this from others more than me. He knows I'm his cheerleader so I get what he is saying. I read him all the well wishes and comments from texts and blogs. It makes him happy.

I bought Rick some cheap wicking T-shirts from Walmart and a pair of Champion sweat pants. He goes through these clothes and I keep washing and bringing him more. So I stopped and got some cheap ones because he gets food all over his shirts. That left side is still an issue. But today at lunch he turned to me and said, "There are potatoes on my face isn't there?"  

I said, "Yes."  He said with such excitement, "I can feel it." 

Then he wiped his face. So another thing that has come back. Before where his left side droops would have some water drool or food he couldn't feel it there. Now he can. He kept touching his face and smiling and saying, "I feel all this now!"  

I think those little triumphs help his attitude as well. I pinched his cheeks like my Italian Grandmother would do and he laughed and said, "I feel it and I love it!"

All in all on an upswing. He was tired after lunch so I got all his dirty clothes together and a few things to bring home.  He told me to go home, blanche those beans. Dear Lord that man and his garden. Apparently after picking all these beans, I must cut and blanche and then put them in an ice bath, then drain and put them in a food storage bag and freeze 'em. Okay Mr. Green Jeans, hurry home because I am not a gardener. I only eat the food mister!  

If ever I wish I had won an argument having a condo is the one I'd choose. 

As you all know I did not want an acre of land. I wanted a condo. No maintenance. I hope he sees that all this land is a pain in the ass and a condo is the way to go.  A gal can dream, can't she?!

__________________________

Anyone hear from Patti from @ TheNewSixty?  I think about her often and wonder how her leukemia treatments are going. 

Short Video

I was sharing with Rick all the cheers and good wishes from my blogger world.

I took him outside to get some sun on his face. After I told him about y'all he said I'll say Hi on video. WHAT? Who is this man? He would not talk to strangers because he was embarrassed but now he doesn't care and it's marvelous!! I keep telling him it won't be like this forever, look how far you've come from not talking at all?

So here he is.

It's All Mental

Rick seems to have turned his first big corner. Mentally his attitude is more Rick pre stroke. Self depracating, funny, charming to all the staff and they love and spoil him. 

He was talking a lot today. Then he had a hiccup and pointed to his head and then his mouth. I saw the frustration and I said, you know what you want to say but it won't cone out, is that right? He hits his nose with his finger like charades telling me I'm right. 

Just a week ago that would frustrate him to no end, sometimes bringing tears to his eyes. But slowly but surely it happens far less and today he had one for a minute, then he remembered and said, "damn I got it." He laughed. It was so good to see that. 

Then he made a joke about himself because he drools sometimes. The left side of his face droops, not as much but still a significant droop. So he is always with something to wipe his face. Before it would upset him so. This weeks he's made jokes. Some damn good ones that got all laughing

So I see a change in him mentally and I really believe that change has made all his therapies go better as well. Since the change in his mental state they all bring him back telling me he's kicking ass (nunzio) or he is really doing great on (insert ot and pt comments) that was not the way it was at the beginning. He didn't care about the therapy, now he's fighting back and telling me how he beat yesterday's record with leg lifts or steps. That is a HUGE change.

He is getting tomorrow off. Since arriving at rehab 1 week ago he has had rehab a minimum of 4 hrs a day but there were a couple days it was 6 hrs for the day. When his 'classes' as he calls them are over he just wants a nap and who can blame him?

Today he was done at 3:45p. They gave him time in between classes because his first one was at 7:30am. He kept saying how he could sleep in tomorrow if they wouldn't come in to give me meds. I laughed but reminded him that he can go back to sleep because it's a day off.

Then I got that lopsided smile I've been waiting for.

Flashback Friday

Because it's been depressing here of late I thought maybe a funny Rick story vs. Stroke story.

Rick currently sounds like a deaf drunk person. So this will prove even more interesting when he's home and what I hear him say vs what he actually said.

Oh and I got home early yesterday at 4pm. I laid on the sofa for what I thought would be a quick minute before I began to work and I slept until 12:30am. Then I got up and went to bed. I feel good for the first time in a long time today. :-) Sleep does a body good.

Here's an oldie but goody.

Thursday

My hip was out so I told Rick I was going to the chiropractors before coming to see him. He likes me there early but I just need to do a few things personally. Guilt. 

He has been off pureed foods to small chopped up food. Like the meatloaf was all cut into tiny pieces. He has an issue with weakness in the one side of his throat. To prevent choking this is necessary. He got a sandwich and soup yesterday and he said to me, "I guess I'm a big boy today and can eat real food"

When he was drinking he'd begin to choke. They feared it getting in his lungs so he got a sippy cup. He can only get a small amount at a time from it to prevent the choking. I am at the hospital/rehab now. He just left for more speech therapy. His speech sounds like a deaf drunk person.  When I said that out loud to him it made him laugh. He thanked me for the giggle cause we haven't had a lot to laugh about lately.

His appetite is still zilch. He admitted the food was better than pureed. And being off all liquid that had to be thickened until his throat was stronger, was a thrill to be gone. He called it sludge. And not thirst quenching.

I was hoping now that he had food resembling food he'd want to eat. 

I had to get permission for these watermelon pieces that I had to promise on my life that I would make smaller before feeding him.

They also put him on crestor. I don't get it. In April he had his cholesterol done...it was 132! He's never had high chlosteral. So why crestor? His A-fib is what caused the stroke, I haven't gotten an answer that makes sense to me yet.

We have regular Medicare A and B with a supplement that picks up all co-pays as well as any remaining fees not covered. We also have short term and long term care if we need for home modifications etc. Not easy getting answers from any of them. If I don't pay I'd get a faster response you know!

Rick was moved to a private room. He is thrilled. They each had their own tvs, however roommate man liked the tv on all night. It drove Rick crazy!! 

Add the fact he has sleep apnea and doesn't have his mouth piece for him to wear he is not sleeping. He needs sleep to heal his brain and body.

The first week after the stroke RIck was unable to open his mouth wide enough to get the device in and out. We had a helluva time removing it. But he is better in this area and I asked if we could try it again because he never feels rested. I know he felt that way before getting this device. Speech worked with him this morning and he got it in and out so I pray he gets good sleep tonight. No TV 'round the clock and no sleep apnea. 🤞

Rick had a bit of an asthma event in PT. I brought his Rx inhaler but they said to bring it home. I listened to them even though I did not think I should. Well after this event in PT they had to go to the pharmacy downstairs and get one. They also wanted to use a nebulizer and apparently since covid that can only be done in a private room. Well, that worked in his favor. 

I have lousy family but wonderful friends who are coming all the way from Erie PA to help so I can have my surgery and someone will be with Rick. That stress is off me. I will owe them for the rest of my life!!!

Both of us!!

I do have a sister coming in July after her surgery.

I'll take the help. 

I wear my Peggy Face all damn day. I smile when I'm crying inside. I am Rick's cheerleader and I feel it's important for him to not have added stress or think he's not doing well.  But it's exhausting.

In other news...

The Canadian fires have reached us. Yesterday it smelled like a bonfire was happening when I walked outside. It was a code red. Thankfully it rained and we are now a code orange. Not good but better.

Have you all been affected?

They tell me its Tuesday

It is Tuesday...but it's just Groundhog Day around here.

I'm not doing great but not bad either. One of Rick's team called me at home last night and that scared the hell out if me. This woman is his OT and she's a bitch. She was screaming at me yesterday for no good reason and when she asked m e a question she knew the answer and did not listen. But she only THOUGHT she knew the answer. If she had listened to me she would have known. But i know these types. We all do. Mz Know It All. 

Anyway she was calling to apologiz.  Rick hates her as do I. The rest of his team is great. I think when I said something to the charge nurse she must have said something.  But it wasn't anything more than a half ass apology but I accepted it. Don't need enemies here.

I'm not sleeping well and that doesn't help me any. I never want to eat but forced myself to eat something because I know I need too.

Rick asked for watermelon and I got approval. So when he gets back to his room he will have some watermelon for a treat.

His PT man is Nunzio. He said to me when I met him yesterday, hey a paisan. I laughed and said Yes, I am. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the term he was stating, hey an Italian American friend. I never think I look Italian but apparently I do. So I am his paisan. 

Rick enjoys Nunzio and his speech person. He just hates the OT, Kelly.

I shaved off all his facial hair yesterday. It needed trimmed badly but he said take it all off. Rick has always had facial hair of some sort so he looks funny to me. They are going to let him shave tomorrow. They want him to try. He can do it, his hands are doing pretty well. They say he's at 50%. That doesn't sound good to me but they seem happy.

I try to watch TV at night and I find my mind wandering. I'm exhausted after 7-9 hrs here yet I can't sleep. I watered the garden, trimmed the yard, did laundry and remade the bed the sister was in. Then I sat and stared at the tube. I fell asleep for 2 hrs. Then I stare at the ceiling and beg for sleep.

I got my mail yesterday and had 3 lovely cards that made me cry like a baby. I will thank everyone personally but my God they meant the world to me. 

His roommate is far ahead of him and should be going home soon. He talks about trump and so Rick has decided he has to go. Lol. He's a typical trumpster. Add the fact that Rick was watching a baseball game and he hates the nyy so he was harnessing Rick. (He's a red Sox fan, poor thing)

Thankfully they each have their own tvs.

In the big scheme of things his roommate is nothing. 

That's all folks for today. 

Another 30 minutes and he'll be back from speech. He's had OT, PT, and more testing and now speech. He will need a nap and they will make him eat. They fight him with food. He never wants to eat. So unlike The Big Guy!

Hope you're all having a beautiful summer day!

Aaah.

Rick was moved to rehab.

Now the real hard work begins!!

We are heading over to the hospital this a.m. Then I drive his sister to the airport. Then I'll go back and spend more time with Rick.

Then I can come home and NOT eat or only eat a bowl of cereal. I will whip off this bra so fast and collapse on the sofa. 

Those are my plans for the day. Hope you're having a good one!!

Sorry 2nd update - He walked!!

 Rick walked today!!! Big damn day!

His OT and PT team came in and said, think you can walk and he said sure. By the time they were at that side of the bed, he was sitting up with his feet dangling. 

When he had gout as I mentioned earlier he could not walk or put weight on his weak leg. They were so worried about him falling.

He was sitting on the bed and he was about to get up and they told him to sit still and just sit. He was to wait for them. But Rick had other ideas. 

They brought him a walker and again, he pulled himself up and grabbed the walker. They told him they were going to hold his gown in case he got lightheaded or was going to fall. He told them he was not going to fall. 

He left his room and walked down the hall. They followed him with a chair in case he got too tired. He did not need it. Then because he was standing he asked his PT if he could hug me while he was standing. God, I love that man. So I got a big hug. 

He had speech today, OT, PT, and walking. His doctors visited and we had discussions and by 3pm he was so exhausted. We were there at 8am and honestly, I was tired too. I asked if he was okay with me leaving. (he has said plz stay longer so I ask now) He said, "Yes because I am tired."  

Good he needs the sleep. So I'm home right now and avoiding Miss Know it All.

My favorite thing was when the doctor asked where she got her degree. I loved that he put her in her place. 

I have some family coming to help me closer to when I have to go to the hospital.

My sigmoid colon surgery is now on the 21st. Labrascopy and I can come home when I poop. I find that funny. They said to figure about 3 days.

The hospital person came to me (I forgot her title) She works with rehab and another dept. I don't recall, sorry!  She said she saw Pat, his PT person and she told her we had no intention in having him walk today in fact his nurse said he wasn't ready for this. So they were blown away to see him walk so well. That lead her to us because they have meetings where they discuss patients. So all those people who saved his life wonder, how is he doing? So they go over patients so those behind the scenes can see how they saved a life or not.  Also because it broke their record, the life-saving drug should be administered I think she said 30 minutes, it's their hospital goal. Rick had it in 24 minutes and was already being wheeled to surgery for part 2 to remove the clot through his groin. So they took our pictures to share the story of how it happened when it happened, and how he is 10 days later.  Weird but I understood. So Rick had to sign this release so that they could share this information.

I'm exhausted and just wish to chill.

But she doesn't like loud noises. So the tv is on but I can't hear it and if Rick were here he wouldn't be able to hear it. So I use the blue tooth bone conduction headphones to watch TV. She loves to watch shit I hate but if it means she's quiet I don't care. 

All in all a good day.

Thursday Update

Rick is napping. His sister is glued to her phone. I thought I'd tell you about the morning.

I came in and Rick had to do what he calls his circus tricks.  He can now lift his "bad" arm over his head and keep it there. Show off. Gout leg moving much better. Fingers on that hand can grip but not as hard. Overall it was good to see.

He also got his feeding tube out, which made him super happy.

Phrases I will not miss...

'In California'....those  words are uttered daily by those who shall remain nameless.

In California we have toilet seat covers in all public restrooms(every day at least 2x)

In California....

It goes on for everything. I want to scream, then go home.

She has pissed off drs, nurses and aides. She knows more than they do. She has been on the phone now for 1 hr in the waiting room. She will have missed the Dr, speech therapist and then demand they come back to discuss with her 

I'm leaving a shit ton out, but how does this help me? Plz explain! In the morning its her hair, her make up, her clothes. I wait. 

Rick asked me to come at breakfast She heard him. So LETS MOVE IT! 

So much to vent and so little time.

My segmoid colon surgery is the 21st. Dr agreed with me that me being this anxious isn't good for me for recovery. He will be in rehab by then and I will feel much better!!!

I have to run. More people with stethoscopes coming in.

More later.

Monday

Rick is in a regular room in the stroke/heart center now. He got to eat pureed food which he does not enjoy. He still has a feeding tube or they call in nutrition but they also use it for meds. He hates this thing in his nose and down his throat. They told him today that it could come out Tues or Wed. He was a happy camper.

First day after the stroke he could shuffle his left leg. But since gout he can't walk. He tried today and the nurse got there in time. We don't need a fall right now. They told him they'd secure him ti the bed if he does that again. He was tied for lack of a better word with this nice thick velcro attached to him and the chair on the first day and HATED it. 

I've never been fond of his stubbornness but I see it's proving to be an asset in this situation. He really wants to try everything.

Alrighty, time for bed.

Saturday

It's 2:04am.

I can't sleep. Rick's sister was on her phone ( its attached to her hip) and watching TV. I sat on the sofa and I was out!! I slept from 930p ish to 1145p. Now I can't go back to sleep. Boy my mind races and goes to places it shouldn't. 

Your comments have made me cry. Big time. All of you are so kind and give great advice. 

I can't even put into words how much the comments have meant to me. I had a bad bad day, or I should say Rick did. Then I read your comments when I got home and they warmed my heart ❤️ Thank you!!

I feel so alone here. 

HIS sister is here but I feel like I have to entertain. Make meals I don't want to eat etc.

She means well, I know. (This is the family he just met several years ago becuz he was adopted)

I want to postpone my surgery. I'm getting all kinds of shit from everyone. I'm not canceling, just hoping to postpone.

I have a call scheduled with my Dr to discuss Monday.

Everyone tells me to take care of me. Well I am. I know I can't go to the hospital right now. I'm asking for 2-3 weeks.

Then he will be less drugged due to gout pain. He will remember I'm in the hospital for 3- 4 days. He'll also be out of icu by then.  Why can't everyone get that? 

Peg, they say, you must take care of yourself. Ok, when I am selfish and care for me, I hear it from EVERYONE that I'm wrong, they know what's best and I must have my surgery Thursday. They don't care that I won't heal as well being filled with anxiety, stress etc.

I don't get it!!

Boy the fact that y'all are still reading me with all the depressing shit and me whining is another thing I want to say thank you for. Sincerely. 🫠

I'll leave you on a lighter note. Ricks best buddy from Cleveland showed up today. They were coming to town this weekend for the divisional championship lacrosse game. We had a great weekend planned and we so thrilled to see friends. Instead of those plans we made, they came to the hospital.

I reminded Rick that they were coming today (sat) and I asked him one more time if he wanted them to come. He was thrilled. Jared walked in and Rick got his new lopsided grin, patted his heart and then pointed to Jared and Megan, as if to say, I love you but then gave Jared the finger. We all laughed and Rick laughed and about chocked which brought the nurses running in.

It was wonderful to see them. They understood him most times. Sometimes none of us can. All in all it was a great visit!

I left for a bit to go to the cafeteria. When I came back Rick was awake. He told me he so loved seeing them. It did him a world of good if you ask me.  

Update #2

Rick has had a set back. Because they weren't giving him his gout medication he got gout in his left knee. The side of the damage. 

He is in excruciating pain. Because of that his PT was cut short. He was able to bend his knee until gout. This am he said his pain was a 10 when Dr asked. It was a 6 yesterday. They just gave him oxycodon, and it worked he's asleep.  His speech is the worst right now and his swallowing is not perfect so still on feeding tube. Right now they just want him out of pain. Dealing with the gout. He asked me to take him home this morning. 😪

Before gout he was going into a regular room. He is staying in the ICU until this passes.  

This is more stress than I can handle right now in so many ways. But, you know that. It's not about me.

As I was leaving today he said I love you and squeezed my hand and the nurses heard and said they don't see that often and they love it. (How sad) He touched the nurses arm and said I love you too and they laughed and at that exact point his pain killer kicked in and he was out!!

My Ricky

In the last post I said in comments how this happened so you look there if you did not see it.

Because Rick got helped so quickly they said they expect a full recovery with a lot of rehab.

From his mouth to God's ear!

Tuesday Rick looked great. His left side has been affected as well as his speech. That side of his face is drooping and his smile is only on one side.

He can stand and move. His left leg and arm don't move as well but everyone including the neurologist were thrilled with his progress and all kept saying this was great for the 1st day & this doesn't happen often. Hmm, I'm not seeing it. But I don't think they'd blow smoke up my arse.

Because he was on a vent his throat today was still swollen so eating and swallowing wasnt easy. They put a tube up his nose that went down his throat while they feed him pudding and applesauce. It's still going down slowly but they didn't find anything wrong. Whew. Just a swollen throat.

He had an MRI and they found that he probably had small stokes before. But everything else on MRI was all they wanted to see. Blood flowing etc.

He has PT and speech  daily. Tuesday I was there from 8 to 5p. I hated leaving. 

Wednesday I walked in and he looked so damn tired. He looked better the day before. Then he told me they wake him every hour and prick his finger. So I asked the nurse about this. She said that when in the ICU we do wake them every hour and the finger prick is to test his sugar. I said but he doesn't have diabetes. Then the Dr and the neurologist came in and asked the nurse for something and I didn't get why.  I will ask again tomorrow.

His sister arrived from California today. I told Rick she was coming today and he cried. 

She took an Uber from the airport to the hospital. 

Rick takes gout medication. Because he isn't swallowing good enough for them to give him pills he hasn't had it. He told me his knee hurt. It was swollen and hot. Yep gout. Great.

Today's pt walking was difficult but it always is with his gout. So he shuffled to his chair. They brought in an X-ray machine to see his knee.

Then they put a tube up his nose which will send the medication right down to his belly.  He said it's worse than a covid test. That made me laugh.

He was going to be moved today, Wednesday, to a regular room but since the gout pain, his BP went up so they are going to wait.

He gets frustrated as you can well imagine with his speech. He told me he can't make the words come out. He thinks it, but it takes forever.

I think speech daily is his hardest. 

He does not remember what happened. He keeps apologizing to me for causing me all this stress. I said it's my turn to be the caregiver babe.

The nurses love him. When they put this condom catheter on him he told the girl, I usually get dinner first but at least your hands are warm. OMG I about died. Fine to talk like this around our friends and me but I think his filter is gone. The nurses laughed, thank God. Today they had to give something in suppository form. The nurse said as she's got him on his side, I know you'll want dinner AND drinks first for this. He put a thumbs up. She laughed. So at least they weren't offended when I apologized they just said they've had worse, no problem with him. Whew.

He got his vent out Tuesday late afternoon.That made him happy but he had a lot of phlegm. So they set the bed to vibrate to help break up the phlegm. It worked too. When the bed began to vibrate, Rick slapped his lap and moved his head as if to say hop on. I laughed and said, Ricky you're in there! He laughed.

He is aware and answers all their questions correctly so that's good.

So a lot of positives.

Today the nurse "suggested" we go home because he won't sleep if I'm there so we left. 

Today was the least amount of time I've spent with him but I could see he needed sleep.

I wish his sister wasn't here but using my mom's favorite saying, IT IS WHAT IT IS.

I'm a hot mess. I always thought I was a strong women. This event has proved me wrong!!!

I just want my Big Guy home.

Stroke

Rick had a stroke today as we were leaving the drs ofc.

I am certain we can not take more of this shit!!!

I will write when I can.

If you pray, I'll take a few prayers!

Remember Me?

Yes, it's been a while.

While I was away You saw Ricks's post and comments on the post. my hand was only 1 reason I wasn't around. 

One day I woke up and as I put my feet on the ground the room was spinning like NOTHING I've ever felt. Not like when you're young and foolish and drink too much --far more violent than that. I laid back down. Tried getting up again and made it to the bathroom and proceeded to violently throw up, This went on for days. no one knew why. If I lifted my head it was to vomit, because lifting my head made it worse. I couldn't eat or drink. Rick kept telling me to go to the hospital. I said no. I couldn't walk anyway. I was out of it. 

Well, my husband did this

It was awful. Two gorgeous young women are the EMTs who show up to my bedroom as I'm hanging over a wastebasket. Just Lovely. Who are they? Now Rick tells me they are taking me to the hospital. I couldn't fight him and he knew it, the little shit!

Their beauty was not lost on Rick. I too noticed how damn pretty they both were. I heard them say, "This is the first house we've gone into that doesn't smell." 

They said this a couple times to Rick, I couldn't talk, If I did, I'd just vomit. So, I just looked and listened. But, gee where the hell are these stinky homes? The ER got me to stop vomiting and the drugs stopped all pain. Whew. 

Each day it has gotten better. I stopped all the pain pills for my torn-up hand/wrist. It seemed to help after 2 days of no pain pills. My hand/wrist was excruciating but the room was only barely spinning now. 

So was it a reaction to the pain pills? I'm still having a little bit. I mean yesterday I seemed fine and out of nowhere I just had to run and vomit for a bit. Such fun.

I have some funny things to share but this is all I can peck on this keyboard. All done with my left hand...slowly. I've got a lot of stuff happening this week with pre-op and MRI on my hand tomorrow. So I'll be gone again. I will do my best to write before my surgery on June 1st. 

Out of Office

Margaret(peg) is down for the count.  I'll let her share the excitement of this event when she is feeling better.

You know she's not feeling well when Ms. Control asks for help here at her blog. Lol

Rick

Off into The Wild

Venturing out for a hair dryer today.

I don't have wash and wear my hair. It's not long so I can't put it in a ponytail.

So holding a blow dryer in my left hand while I use a round brush with my right hand. Ooh, can't do that now. How long can I wear a ball cap?

I order a Revlon Volumizing hair dryer 2.0. 

They sent me the original. Not the 2.0. 

The barrel is too big on the original for my hair. So I had to return it.

So I am going to venture into a store on a crowded Saturday. I need to blow dry my hair so I can look presentable. Of course, I go when Rick feels like it because he is my chauffeur. Wish me luck.

Gazebo and deck are not finished, close enough. Where you see bare spots it means some things will be going there, but good enough to use, and by God, we did last nite! Yes, I'm not a fan of that blue either!!

Thursday

I was asked about my hand again. Last time I'm telling it I promise.

They say it's a scaphoid lunate sprain. 

This does not feel like a sprain. These 2 ligaments (Scaphoid and lunate)

hold your wrist in place. Two of the wrist bones are far apart and they shouldn't be far apart. Wearing the cast/brace is pulling them together. This occurs typically from a fall or old folks over 80. I am not 80 and I did not fall. Then the ortho asked me about being on steroids. Why yes I was. oh goodie, something else damaging they do to one's body. I can't catch a break it seems.  The pain is like nothing I have experienced before. My left side has never had this much use. My broken ankle did not hurt like this. weird.

We sold Rick's big van on Monday. I had to sign all this paperwork. 

I did the best I could but within an hour my hand had a heartbeat and was swelling up again. now I can no longer use my fingers. I set myself back about two weeks. I know what you're thinking. sign with your left hand. Sure gave that the ole college try. I kept dropping the pen. The man here from Carmax finally said, "Can't you just do the best you can with your right hand?" It was obvious he did not give a rats ass about any kind of injury I may have, he just wanted his damn signed papers--STAT. 

I don't blame him one bit.

My dad used to tell us, kids, that the reason he was ambidextrous was that the nuns would slap his knuckles with a ruler when he used his left hand. So it was nothing for him to easily slip from one hand to the other over time. I wish I had that ability right now!

This, with all the errors took me forever.

Conversations

 I am still typing with one hand. It takes so long to type a sentence.

Hence, the lack of posts.

Here are a couple of crazy conversations in our house this past week.

There was a woman on The Price Is Right and you could barely see her face over her podium.

I said, "Wow, that woman is really short"

Rick: " You are that short! (laughs)"

Me: "Really?" (I was serious)

Rick: "Do you see yourself as taller?"

Me: "Yes I do."

Rick: "That's okay I see myself as skinnier."

We were watching a movie with mounds of snow. 

Rick said, "I remember when you'd come to town when you lived in Ohio. You'd stop by my house to leave me a note that you were in town and at your parent's house. I'd come home from work and see a pointed toe and a dot for a high heel in the snow on my steps and porch. I knew that was from your boots and I'd get butterflies."

Aw (I heard the bloggers go aww)

I said, "And now?"

"Hmm, More like moths."

I threw the remote at him. But damn that was funny to me.