Mini Vacation Time

We are taking some extended time at the lake house this week.
See that screened in area there? 
I plan to spend some quality time with books in the hammock up there!
Me, books and no mosquito's!

I am taking 2 books that I hope to be able to read.

The books are the following:

I know how will I ever manage to carry two big ole hard cover books and not get a Kindle? 

(you know I had to go there)

If you are looking for some great summer reads yourself you may want to check out Eva's summer reading suggestions today  - they look great!

I am planning on having several of these below and an enormous amount of time doing what is up at the top of my header here on my blog.

I plan to spend a lot of time with this guy even though he looks so serious here he's a lot of fun.

Please enjoy this little ditty that was sent to me this morning from a friend who knows how much I love Lenny.  For some reason I couldn't embed the video but just hit this link and it should play.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Monday Morning Ramblings

What a weekend!
I am finding that they are making the weather so difficult.
Does it really need to be? Or am I just an old lady now and don't understand anything?
When did dew point become something they talk about non stop?
I kept hearing them say the dew point was over 70 so it would be thick as soup out there.
HUH? How does that work? Did I miss that class? I surely must have.
What happened to humidity?
Temp, humidity and dew point and heat index.  Jeez.
This is just too much information for me.
It’s going to be cooler today only 93-95.
Do I need to know any more than that?
While it was cooler than yesterdays 100+ but it continues to be uncomfortable outside.
See? Easy enough, all that needs to be said. .

We had our neighbors over for dinner Saturday.
Now I am not professing to be the best cook ever but this was award winning bad!
I have never made a meal so bad even when I was a kid.
It was embarrassing and pathetic. It is haunting me.
We purchased 2lbs of beef sirloin, we trimmed and cut into 2-inch cubes
We grilled sirloin chunks that had been marinated along with Vidalia onions and red peppers on skewers. (Over a bed of brown rice).

Appetizers of shrimp in a garlic butter sauce with a hint of old bay and then grilled.
Everyone said the Shrimp was awesome!! (I don’t eat seafood)
But the meat was not good. The marinade was a good flavor but something was amiss.
I was mortified. Thankfully the rice was okay but jeez this was bad.

I made a 7 layer salad that was wonderful and is always a hit but it was difficult for me get past the bad meat. It was tender but off. I don’t know how else to say it. It was sirloin that was fresh and gorgeous looking until cooked I guess.

Then dessert – mamma mia! The horror continued.
I have made this before and it is always a hit.
It is a perfect summer pie when it’s 100 degrees.
It’s lemonade pie. The last two times I made it I made it as a margarita pie.
Delish! So I went that route this time.
But something happened this time. It never froze into a solid pie.
I was freaking out when I went into the freezer before they arrived and saw that it was flat. Not high and thick like it was when it entered the freezer.
So I touched the corner – it was still runny.
WTF? Everything was going wrong.

Thankfully it’s our neighbors and they can’t cook worth shit (they eat carry out daily)but I still can’t serve this pie.
At this point I had no idea how much worse this was going to get.
They laughed it off and said it was nice to know I made bad meals sometimes too.
So they were gracious but it was a total bust.
I suggested we call for pizza but everyone refused.
Thank goodness the shrimp were huge and they ate a lot of ‘em so they were somewhat filled up.
I wanted to cry.
Instead I liquored ‘em up. What else can a good hostess do?

I met a new person who moved into the neighborhood a few weeks back.
She was moving in and I was walking by while walking Izzy.
I introduced myself and shook her hand and welcomed her.
She and I have chatted a few times and then she came over for a few cocktails on the patio.
She asked me to go see Sex and The City.
I heard it was horrible and told her probably not.
A few days later she calls and says, c’mon I have free movie passes. Oh okay I’ll go.

She told me the movie times and said she’d drive. So Friday night we went had a few drinks. (okay mine were non alcoholic ‘cause I am still on meds) but she got to drink.
We had dinner and then went to the movies. A chick date we laughed.
We got to the theatre and noticed the time.
It wasn’t playing that night but it would be playing again on Saturday. What?
The kid behind the glass repeated it like we old broads were deaf.
She told him she went online got the times of this show for this theatre.
To which the pimply faced kid said,  “Yea but what date did you put in or what day did you view these dates and times because our times vary by date.”
Alright now she felt foolish but since we were there we may as well see a movie.
We stepped back and read the movie choices. Awful.
I would have liked Toy Story 3 but there was no way she said she was seeing an animated show. The woman is 2 yrs older than me but honestly I feel like there were times that evening that she was my mom. I must be incredibly immature. I digress….sorry.
The choices were Jonah Hex, Toy Story, Shrek, A Team, Karate Kid and Knight and Day. Lousy choices.
She picked Knight and Day.

I will preface my review with I HATE Tom Cruise.
But since she was giving me a free coupon how could I say I don’t like Tom?
She didn't feel that way before seeing this movie.
My review of this movie probably has a great deal to do with me thinking Tom is a horses ass.
But honestly the movie is a real departure from all logic and plausibility.
Then you add his snarky-ness (is that a word?) you now have a stupid movie.
I think he thought he was being charming.
And I could see how that could work with another actor but he just couldn’t pull it off.
He came off the same way he did speaking to Matt Lauer a few years ago.
We both thought he was just snarky and obnoxious not charming.
They needed a real man who is normally charming to pull this off.
Possibly Clooney, but he would never make this stupid of a picture.
Even Brad Pitt came to mind, and I am not his biggest fan,  was more charming as an assassin in Mr & Mrs Smith.
No plausibility in that movie either but Pitt pulled that type of snarky off in a charming way. Cameron was good as she could be in this role.
The plot plausibility was executed poorly.
Honestly I don’t want sci-fi.
I realize movies are an escape but this was too far an escape from reality for me.
Unless you love Cruise don’t waste your money.
As we were walking out she said, well that is two hours we’ll never get back.
I agreed!

Narcissistic Friday

Rick recently took a picture of me and I had the biggest dumb ass smile and I deleted it.
Honestly it was awful.  He was angry that I keep deleting my pictures.
But then Rick so generously pointed out that I always have that dumb ass smile as I referred to it and he thinks it's just "me" and he likes it.

Thank God love is blind is all I can say.
Now that sounds like it's a nice thing to say but upon reflection of other pictures from the time I was a baby I think it's just a dumb ass smile and why do I do this all the time?
I think at this ripe old age it's not going to be something I can change but honestly I will not be smiling in photo's anymore.

Here are a few to prove my point here on Narcissitic Friday.
There are only 2 of us in this class photo with dumb ass grins.
I am 1 of them. I look like a complete dork.
I am in the 2nd row from top - 5th from left with dorky headband and shit eatin' grin.

Here is Rick's class photo most aren't even smiling.
They all look most unhappy.
Rick is in the 2nd row from the top as well - 3rd from left.
No moustache this time folks. (ok i couldn't resist)

Now all of these below I am grinning like this again.
Let's start with what the hell my mom was doing with my hair?
What kind of goofy do was this?

This one I'm doing it again only my head is down because of the wind that was in my eyes.
I am old enough now not to give a damn but at 18 I thought this was a horrible picture.
Why?  Because I thought my boobs really stuck out here. 
I was so incredibly self conscious as a kid growing up when flat chested was all the rage.
Now I only notice those thick platform shoes that I thought were so cool in 1974.
And like any good girl who was raised Catholic they make me stand in front of the Virgin Mary statue in the front of our home.  Jeez.



















Yesterday I had a photo on my blog of a dog that looked identical to Izzy.
I thought it was funny and looked like her but I'm sorry I didn't say to you that it wasn't our crazy dog Izzy.  Just a dog that looks and acts like her.
Here's the real Izzy sitting atop her perch watching the other dogs run and play at doggie day care.  She's under an air conditioning vent just chillin'

The weather outside is frightful

Our dog Izzy does not like this heat.
I swear this dog couldn't be more like me if I had given birth to her.

She has taken to serpintine type walking.
She goes from a shade area to another shade area.
I am weaving all about while on our walk this morning.
No straight lines for her.
She will no longer do her business in the sun.

She doesn't want to walk or fetch balls or any type of activity that is normal for her.
She wants to lay in front of an air conditioning vent.
She wants to run to the shade to do her business and then run directly home.

Yesterday she went to doggie day care. 
When we picked her up they told us it was picture day and handed us her new photo.
We asked where was this photo taken?
They told us it was her "perch."

Apparently when the diva known as Izzy wants to take a break from playing and running non stop she climbs atop this fisher price type slide and sits and watches all the action going on in the room.  Like she is presiding over the dog town.
They said, "we think she likes feeling the cool air and once she is cooled down she will go back to running and playing."
That made us laugh. they went on to tell us that Iz is the only dog who does this.
Thankfully they were laughing....or laughing at us?

We bought a small kids pool for the patio.
We thought we'd give her a break this weekend and let her play in the pool to keep cool.
Since we are not going to the lake this weekend it is the only water at hand.
And the poor thing needs some water...STAT.

Everyone is miserable but I keep muttering....we are not shoveling....we are not shoveling.
It's how one must deal and not whine...too much.
They say global warming is extreme hots and extreme colds.
That would seem to be true here this year.
First we had snowmedggaon, the worse winter in the history of this area.
Now it is the hottest June in recorded history.
Today is 98.

And while we're on this topic why must there be a heat index or a wind chill factor?
They make everything seem so big and horrible and tragic.
This isn't theatre people it's life. Calm down.

If it is 12 degrees do we need to be told over and over again about how that really translates to -3 degrees?
For heaven's sake it's cold. 
We feel it.  After 32 degrees it's all miserable so shut up already. 

Please do the same for the heat index. 
I don't need to hear that with the 90% humidity that in 98 degree heat is like being burnt alive.  I get it.  I can't breathe.  I can't move. I know it's friggin' hot so shut up already.

There I told those perky weather people what's on my mind.
Think they're listening?

What kind of weather do you have and like?

Hearing Loss or Not Paying Attention?

I have mentioned this topic all too often of late of what is happening in my world.
My dear husband of the famed '80's stache isn't embarrassed enough after those photos went on the blog so I am going to publicly embarrass him a tad bit more.

We have a friend who got a dog 2 months after we got Izzy. 
Her dog's name is Rusty.
Rusty is huge compared to Izzy.

We also have a friend in Orange County California that is named Rusty.
He is married to Therese.
Rusty has had a couple of operations in the last couple of years and there have been some issues after surgery but nothing major or bad. But he was much thinner the last time we saw him.

Here is my story of what happened last evening.
Rick and my conversation went like this –

Me: I talked to Laura yesterday and she was talking about Rusty.
Rusty is up to 90lbs now and they expect him to weigh even more - up to 2 yrs this could go on.

Rick:   90lbs? What the hell do you mean UP to 90lbs?
Is he sick? Oh my God. …and what is up to 2 yrs mean?
Was it the last surgery? What is wrong? Oh My God. When did you hear this?
Holy Shit I know he was a bit thinner than I remembered him last time we saw but 90lbs? Oh my God Margaret when did Terese call you?

At this point, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t speak.
Honestly, this man is nuts and now going deaf.

Rick: What the hell is so funny about any of this Margaret?
What in the hell is wrong with you? This sounds awful should we call him?
Is it too early?  What time is it there?

Now Rick was getting testy and I’m sorry but bad wife found this hysterical because I knew he was thinking Rusty Smith and not the dog.

Me: Honest to God Richard NOT RUSTY SMITH you numbnut.

Rick: (before I could go on he interrupts me) What other Rusty do we know then?
(my God he is actually a very angry man now)

Me: I said before I even mentioned the name Rusty that Laura and I talked yesterday…

Rick: Oh Rusty the damn dog.
Honest to God Margaret you really do mumble.

Yea that’s the issue, I mumble.

Monday and I'm all over the place

Oh how I love a hot and humid Monday.

I am trying to remember this below so I don't bitch....but it's difficult because I am melting.

In other news I had the wildest dream last night.

I don't normally remember my dreams and sometimes when I do they are doozies.

This was one of those.

I was on the Craig Ferguson show.

As you are all well aware by now I am smitten with this man.

He interviewed me with Sid the cussing bunny. (my favorite puppet on the show)

Sid is a cute little fur ball with a foul mouth
Here's a snippet...

I have no rational reason as to why he was interviewing me in the first place because let's face it I am just a gal living in the mid-Atlantic region with no real reason to be on a tv show.

But it did go amazingly well and I was giddy from the conversation with Craig, Sid the Cussing Bunny and my new shoes.
Yes, in the dream I bought these great new shoes just for the show.
Craig complimented me on them and we chatted about these great new shoes for some time. (like a hetero man gives a rats ass about my shoes)
I mean this is random shit for a dream but I woke up smiling and remembering it and the feeling of pure giddy happiness.

My husband who knows I never wake up happy or in a good mood until after my gi-normous mug of coffee asked......"So I'm guessing you also had sex with him in this dream from that smile huh?"
That made me laugh out loud!
Men have such a different idea of what makes a woman's dream happy....not to say I wouldn't have been very happy with that in the dream too but I seemed to be so happy to be there, to meet him, to show him my shoes (which is ridiculous) and interacting with Sid the cussing bunny who I found adorable. (like Elmo with a potty mouth)

And no I wasn't drinking before I went to bed.
I have been on medication and I won't be able to drink until July 1st.
(and yes I am counting the days - now don't write me letters.)

Fathers Day

This Sunday is Fathers Day and I am not going to visit my father this year because he lives 7 hrs away and I will be going to visit him in July.  He understands.

I wanted to send him a lemon Meringue Pie. 
Do you know of all the foods you can have shipped that is not one of them.
That is his favorite.  My father loves his sweets. 
He loves nothing more for breakfast than some great danish or cake or pie. 
That is his favorite breakfast of choice.
But there are cookies and other assorted sweets you can send so those will have to do until I get to his house in July. 

My father has never been an easy man to live with.
Oh he's jovial and warm.  He loves his girls to pieces.
But he also demanded a lot from us.
He was especially difficult on me being the oldest. 
After my mother died he was pretty tough on me. 
His expectations at that time were so high for me and difficult for a kid of 13 to do.
But that didn't stop him from expecting and getting it.  He was the "man"
He was from the old country that believe women had a "place"
I am from a new country where that is utter bull shit.
We butt heads a lot while growing up on this one.

My father taught me more with how he behaved than his pontificating.
He was a very hard worker.  He had a strong work ethic.
His family was very important if not the most important to him.
He was warm, kind and generous to all he met.
He believed in good grooming and manners and dressing for the "occasion".
He loves kids and will always give his last dollar to help a child.

For the whole time I've known this man he has given anonymously to a poor family every year at Christmas whatever he can.  He found them through different churches he would approach and ask about a family from the church or parish.  The clergy were always happy to oblige.
It may have only been a turkey dinner with trimmings on a slower year for him.
But most years he bought the family gifts for the kids and clothing and family staples.
Every year.  Anonymously. 
As a kid I saw that and learned.

But the other side was undying love of his church.
If the Pope told my father to put on the Nike's and drink the Kool-Aid he would.
My mother died and he got an annulment to remarry.
So my sister and I didn't exist apparently so that his church could get money for an annulment.  We butt heads on this topic a lot! As I got older I learned to never discuss this type of thing and will leave the room when he starts his pontificating and judgements.

He is a bigot which is mind blowing when you know the other side of him isn't it?
Archie Bunker without the protestant thing happenin'.
My friends were never by their names it was their ethnicity....Polish, German etc.
Only he didn't use those terms. Drove me MAD! The more I protested the more he did it.
My step mom said to let it go you will never be able to tell him he is wrong.  Aargh!

He uses terms that are wrong and to me hurtful.
And Yes sir, he has done a 180 degree turn in most and it's wonderful!
I believe that you are given lessons in life to learn.
He was given a son in law who is black. 
He and my sister have been together for 19 yrs.
He has learned a lot of difficult lessons...difficult for him is what I mean here. 
He adores his bi-racial grandchildren more than words can say.
I don't believe that was an accident - he was given that lesson to learn and while he would never ever admit at 82 yrs old he learned it, we all see it. 
He no longer uses any words that would ever harm his grandchildren or their family. 
That's how he sees it but we see it as finally learning the things he said in the past were wrong and hurtful. 
It has been nice to see my father grow and change so positively too.

Oh my Dad is stubborn and narrow in his thinking.
There is never ever any grey areas for him.
But I always knew I was loved and always felt secure..... even when he wouldn't let me watch The Monkee's because Gun Smoke was on.
Or wear mini skirts to school, or date until I was 17, play my rock 'n roll loudly, date boys with long hair, grounded me once for 3 months in the summer and made all the guys who came to our house scared shit less.
Even then I knew I was loved to pieces.

I really believe because of where he came and what he was taught and his terrible childhood he did the best he could.  When you know better you do better.  He has shown that as well.

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

Some have all the Luck

Demi Moore just got a book deal about her relationship with her mom and how it has affected her life and career. She will get 2 million dollars for this book.

The article stated she will have someone help her write it.

C’mon. I could actually use the 2 million unlike Demi.
My book would be about me and how my mothers death at age 13 affected my life and career.  (and boy did it!)

Demi is having someone help her write this book because she is not a writer.
Someone could help me write my book because I am not a writer.

2 million to Demi doesn’t mean that much.
2 million would allow Peggy to exhale and sleep better.
It wouldn’t make me live a lot different because after taxes I would only have ½ that and honestly after the houses are paid off we’d be done. But that is huge and would make me be able to exhale and have lots less stress.

Remember how when you were a kid or when your kids would whine, “It’s just not fair!” That is how I am feeling.

I also read in same article that she and her hubby Ashton went to see a movie and they bought items at the concession stand and Ashton’s credit card was rejected.
So they GAVE them all the food for free.  

If I went to the movies (and it would be a matinee so it’s cheaper) and our credit card was rejected they probably would have gotten out the HUGE scissors and made a production out of cutting it up into confetti in front of all the people at the concession stand.
We would not have been given free popcorn and candy and sent on our merry way!.
Just sent away!

It’s not fair!      (said in sing song-y whiney kid voice)

Commercials.

I didn’t think I’d be writing this week.
I’ve been very ill but I saw something last night that I just had to write down.
I was lying on the sofa begging to have something/someone put me out of my misery when this commercial came on TV.
Now I am so sick that I thought I was possibly hearing things so I sat up.
No I wasn’t hearing things it was what the man said.

I immediately hit rewind because I know Rick would never ever believe me and this has to be seen to believe.
Now what I am about to tell you was not on a cable channel.
This was a commercial on our local NBC station.
It was on regular TV like this was a product similiar to Sham-Wow.

It was called Pos-T-Vac.
It showed an array of  gray haired couples being affectionate.
It showed way too many unattractive guys with yellow teeth who couldn’t get a boner and were willing to tell you that they now can.
Why would someone agree to do this commercial unless they were paid very very handsomely?

They only show the "machine" close up while it is sitting on the night stand so you can tell what you are to do with this vacuum apparatus.

No Pills To Take! No prescription needed! No nasty Side Effects!

Best of All - Medicare will pay for this as well as private insurance.
Yes, you heard correctly.
They said it was covered under Medicare.
They didn’t say sometimes covered but covered.
Medicare may be cutting back on other essential prescriptions but not a boner machine.

Grandma’s heart medication – No way says Medicare.
Grandpa’s boner machine – You Betcha!

Oh my God. I seriously have not felt like smiling or laughing for the last couple of days but this did the trick. (along w/ Tammie’s comment on yesterdays post of her customer who pooped her pants in her store.)

So there I was at 2:30a.m unable to sleep because I am feeling so badly and then the Boner Machine commercial comes on.
Maybe it was just these men who spoke that I found so funny, because they really were.
This was seriously funny to me and made me feel a bit better if only for a few minutes.
Well I image its only funny if you don't really need this machine now isn't it? 

It's only 10 payments of $19.99 and if you call now they’ll send you a 2nd one FREE along with our free gift of Ginsu Knives! 

Random Thoughts

My husband makes me laugh a lot.
Sometimes on purpose, sometimes like Monday by accident. 
On Monday he had a senior moment.
He has been telling me that a package would be coming from this chemical company and they expected it to arrive on Monday.
It would be coming C.O.D.
He told me this late last week and all weekend fearing I would forget.
Late on Sunday night they left him a voicemail of the total with shipping costs.
He picked up that message early on Monday morning before he left for work.

I asked him after he listened to the voicemail what was wrong he looked so ticked off.
He said in a angry tone, “It’s $140.00!”
I asked, “Okay. Why do you sound mad about this?”
“Because I don’t remember what the hell I ordered for $140.00”

Now for some reason I found that funny as hell.
He has been telling me for 4 days about this damn thing coming to be sure I had a check ready.
And now he doesn’t know what the hell is coming?
Oh I have seen my future and it’s frightening.
Funny, but frightening.

In other news....
So once again bad behavior pays off financially.
The crazy ass interlopers who went to the white house uninvited last year got their reality show.
The brinks truck has backed up to their home apparently.

The parents who believed their 16 yr old could sail off around the world alone and allow the taxpayers to pay to rescue her got their own reality show as well. 
To quote the idiot father, “we are hurting for money so we’ve been trying to get a show before we let her sail”
There are so many things wrong with that statement my head could explode.
I too have had to make some lifestyle changes, maybe I could do something inappropriate and get a show.

And now back to my future.
We recently drove by this 55 and over gated community.
The homes were lovely. We saw the tennis courts, pool building and activity center.
For some reason this is nirvana to my husband. To me it’s an old folks community.

After driving by this he said, “Why don’t you think it would be fun to live there?”

“Because I think they are old people”

“We are old people or not that far away you know.”

“I know but I have not arrived there yet Rick – you’re there you can go before me and let me know how it is.”

“HA HA Margaret. Seriously, we could downsize and be around people our own age. People without babies, people who like what we like, people who we have more in common with. Just think no screaming kids and big wheels up and down the side walk while trying to take a nap."

" But I think you have forgotten that these old folks will have visiting grandchildren."

“ Well aren't you Debby Downer.
Sure I’ll give you that about grandkids….good point but it’s not daily.
C’mon these are folks the same age as us.
You aren’t going to hear any loud hip hop rap crap. 
Instead maybe AC/DC, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, you know our type of music.”

“What the hell are you smoking Rick? It’s old people. But they will love my Michael Buble CD's”

“What is in the CD player right now in the car?”

“Rob Thomas new CD so?”

“Okay then you're old and not far from moving into this community so what makes you think they are listening to Lawrence Welk like your Grandmother?”

“Because I think of them as old. They do strange things you know.”

“Oh  Margaret now you’re  grasping at straws.”

“No, I am not grasping.
Mary from http://www.writingwithoutperiods.com/ lives in one of these and she writes some crazy ass shit going on there. Men in tidy whities running amok in the gym. People with paper towels on their heads for no apparent reason. Honestly she has never made it sound great.  I just think its less 55 yr olds and more 85 yr olds like my parents. I don’t want to live there. I think it may be depressing."

"You are making shit up Margaret"

"Look Rick, I love you and I have always followed you.
We have a beautiful lake home but in redneck/Jerry Falwell country and I deal with all that crap because I love  you.
I have moved across the country and didn't see the sun for 7 months because I love you.
I have to put my heels in the sand here. "
While I would love to be around more people our age but every time we are they behave so old. With the exception of two sets of our friends most are younger than us. People our age are so sedentary and all around miserable to be around we’ve found.”

“Well, we just haven’t met enough of them. There has to be some fun loving gin soaking gals that you would enjoy. There has to be some men that have interests other than just talking about their prostate. I know you are envisioning your Grandmothers nursing home and it’s not going to be like that. That’s why it’s called an ACTIVE community”.

"Yea, active like Bingo!"

He laughs and let it go but I know he’s going to bring this up again.

He is thinking nirvana, I am thinking hell.
But it sounds like it could be a lot of fodder for a blog.

Costco

We go to Costco a quite a bit.
We use the Costco pharmacy which is by far the cheapest in the land.
We absolutely love their meats and seafoods.
Chicken breasts and meat is so much less than the grocery store and so much better that it’s ridiculous not to go there.
And no, you don’t need to buy bulk steaks or chicken breasts.
So I do my shopping there at Costco for a lot more than just bulk toilet paper.

But there is one problem with Coscto, my husband loves to shop there....a lot.
He doesn’t love to go grocery shopping anywhere else mind you.
But if I should mention I have to pick up a Rx or I’m heading to Costco he will say, "I’ll go with you or I’ll pick up whatever you need you don't need to go"
NO!  You may not go to Costco anymore because you are hereby grounded!

I wish there was an equivalent to the no fly list that airlines use for suspected terrorist and other assorted suspicious folks.
They need that type of list for Costco.
I know a lot of husbands who would be on that list.
They would have to show their photo ID at the door along with their Costco card.
Then they would be escorted out of the building and their Costco card revoked immediately. How hard would that be to implement?
They are standing at the door anyway checking your card.
Hell I’d pay extra for that extra service in my membership.

Recently I asked Rick to stop by on his way home from work to pick up a box of these pens I just love for work.
He spent just a smidge shy of $500 dollars and didn’t bring home the damn pens.
No freakin’ pens I tell you!  When asked about my pens he said, “oh yeah”
Numbnuts.

I swear his eyes glaze over from all the electronics, food and wine.
And they encourage him by feeding him in every damn aisle and sometimes twice!
C’mon now that doesn’t help me at all.
You feed this man and of course he’ll keep coming back.
Why do you think he comes home?
It’s not just my winning personality!
Apparently on that day they were also doing samples of wine.
They have NEVER done that while I was shopping.....EVER.

One time he brought home so much meat we didn’t have to buy fish, meat or chicken for 5 months.
He stocked the freezer in the house and freezer in the garage.
He was so proud as though he went out and had hunt and killed this himself.
He kept saying, “Look at the size of these steaks Margaret aren’t they great?”
He was right they were huge and to me they looked like a brontosaurus steak from the Flintstones.

This last time he brought home things I didn’t even know we had to have.
Like Tuscan chicken salad. Okay I will admit it was delicious.
He buys potato chips in a bag the size of Rhode Island.
They were stale before we could ever finish them.

He brought home these Harry & David chocolate covered fruit that sounded dreadful to me until I ate one. OMG the cherries were like crack.
I made him take them out of the house and never bring them home again.
He left them in his work truck to nibble on during the day to save his wife’s ass. (literally)

Rick brings home all kinds of goodies but that is not the point.
He spends way too much money and his excitement can’t be contained.
I know it could be far worse he could want to go to strip clubs all the time.

Instead he comes home with a whole roasted chicken that he explains was such a steal.
“Isn't it beautiful? I know I can make a great chicken soup from this.”
And he did. His chicken soup is out of this world good.
But it's a vat of soup - there are only 2 of us for heaven's sake!

But that is not the point.
I wanted my favorite pens damn it !!

Weather Wuss

The last few days have been heavenly.
I imagine San Diego to be like this weather we have had.
If that is true, those lucky shits in San Diego huh?

It has been perfect.
We here in the DC Metro area don't get many days like we've just had.
Sunny, bright blue skies, low humidity and only in the high 70's.
Add a nice breeze and you can just feel my euphoria jump off the page.
We get an occasional day like that thrown in here and there but just a drop here and there isn't enough. I dream about how wonderful it would be to have months of this weather instead of 2 days.

Honestly I have more energy. And at my age when my energy seems to be depleting faster than fresh water in the Atlantic this is a good thing.
This type of weather makes me love everything and every body.
C'mon that's a feat for a misanthropic person, no?

I love that the windows can be open and it's cool at night.
I love that my electric bill is not over $350 due to air conditioning needing to be on 24/7.

It is all so wonderful.
But it's only June it can't last. 
It was in the 90's last week and we got a small repreive....and for that I say THANK YOU Weather Gods. 

Now this wonderful weather won't last or even think of coming back until October.
So later this week when it's back in the 90's again they say the humidity will be thick and I will again be miserable and I will dream of Monday and Tuesday of this week.

To shovel or sit in air conditioning?....that is the question.
I don't want to choose.  I just want 3 months of each season.
I can even deal with the 3 months of the 3 H's
(hazy hot and humid to those who live without it)
As long as I get 3 months of low humidity, sunny blue skies with 70+ degree weather in there I can do anything.  It makes me invinsible!

Now where can I move where they have all of that?
My bags are packed.

Things that Puzzle Me This Week

Elton John performing for Rush Limbaugh’s 4th / 5th wedding was a head scratcher to me.
It appears some people will take any amount of money to compromise their principals.
While I have enjoyed Elton’s music over the years I have never particularly liked him.
Now I also don’t respect him.
Look, if someone made disparaging remarks about me and or my lifestyle on a daily basis in a very mean spirited and bigoted way I don’t care if he offered me 1 millions dollars.
I am not a whore. I can not be bought.

Bernie Madoff has been making friends with a former mob boss and a spy while in federal prison. According to a new article in New York Magazine he has told his fellow inmates,
“F-k my victims. I carried them for 20 years and now I’m doing 150 years”
Two of the lines from Madoff that I found interesting were,
• '"Some guy wanted to invest, and if I said no, the guy said, What, I'm not good enough?'" (the old “I had to do it” excuse)
• One day, Shannon Hay, a drug dealer who lived in the same unit in the Butner prison as Madoff, asked about his crimes. "He told me his side. He said he took money off of people who were rich and greedy and wanted more," says Hay, who was released in December. (was Madoff speaking of himself or others?)
C’mon can’t you just feel the remorse just oozing off the page? What a guy.

The Dutch kid, Joran van der Sloot, that has been getting away with murder for awhile now seems to have confessed. Something tells me that this confession was coerced in ways we don’t do here in America or in Aruba (okay unless you are in a war and W is the president). His father, the Aruba judge, has since past away since his last known murder in Aruba and there really isn’t anyone that can help him now. His smirk makes me think he would never ever confess. Too arrogant and narcissistic. Something is fishy to me about his  whole confession coming so quickly. But I do understand why some turn their heads just so that some type of justice is served. Now if only he’d admit he murdered Natalee Holloway so her parents can get closure of some sort.
Karma is a kick in the ass isn't it?

Now a nice story that isn’t puzzling at all. This is where I get to see some sense in life.
Baseball.....God how I love this sport.
For all the women who don’t pay any mind to sports you even probably heard about this story. The young pitcher had a perfect game going.
He only needed 1 more out and it was a perfect game. Perfect games are rare.
There have only been 20 in baseball history.
So the final ball was caught and the guy was out at first base.
BUT the umpire said the guy was safe so it was considered a hit so no perfect game.

On replay you could see the guy was OUT and it was so obvious to everyone except this ump. The young pitcher handled this all with grace, dignity and class. He never threw his glove or had any kind of tantrum.  He didn't berate the umpire in the interviews following the game. No, he just said he was a bit shocked but said the game is human and I have to go by what the umpire said.  I could have kissed him!  I was so proud and he doesn't even play on my team!!  

After the game the umpire saw the replay and agreed he robbed this young man of a perfect game. He was mortified and called him to apologize. Major league baseball does not give do overs or rescind calls unfortunately.
Nor do they use instant replay for such calls.
So this kid doesn’t go down in the history books for achieving a very difficult and impressive feat. But the umpire did the right thing. He apologized to this young man.
It even choked him up that he made the wrong call and in his words, “I have to man up and do the right thing because I realize now it was a bad call”

Don’t you wish everyone lived like that? By doing the right thing.
Why does that seem to be so difficult today?

The next day the ump and the pitcher saw one another at another game.
They shook hands and the ump choked back tears. He really had remorse.
The young man patted him on the shoulders as if to say, “Its okay.”
The young pitcher got a new corvette from I believe but don’t quote me, GM.
As if to say, “thanks for showing us real sportsmanship”

Granted this kid could buy himself that car a few times over.
But isn’t it nice to have good behavior rewarded for a change instead of bad behavior?
He actually deserves his 15 minutes of fame.

AARP and Me

Can I tell you how tickled I was when I saw Valerie Bertnelli on the cover of my AARP magazine?  Tickled pink and seriously I am not sure why.

Maybe it’s because I am not alone. Maybe because we grew up together although I am a couple years old.  Maybe because she seems like a friend. Because she is me and looks like me....okay only prettier. But you understand what I mean don't you?

Yes I am a member of AARP, I made fun of it when it started arriving too.
But then Bruce Springsteen was on the cover followed by Tom Hanks and I thought – hey I’m in good company they are older than me. Now Valerie.

Everyone will say to me that I don’t look 50.
But this is exactly what it looks like to be 50 today.  
Sometimes I think we think of our Grandmother’s who at 50 years old looked 80.
Hell Betty White looks great at 88 and that pretty much is sadly what my grandmothers looked like at 60.
So YEAH to Valerie. And yeah to making me feel better.

And doesn't it make you feel just a tad bit happy to know  assume that she too has a wild menopausal hair under her chin that they had to photoshop out of there.

Hey I do what I can to make us all feel better.

Really? (and an 80's flashback)

Don't know if you heard but there are protesters here in our nation's capital (or is that capitol?)

Now that in and of itself is not that unusual but this one really fries my arse.

They are protesting the National Spelling Bee. 
Yep, that's right the kids who like to spell and read the dictionary are getting protested.

Why waste time protesting BP and the mess they are causing our earth?
Why waste  time protesting the forgotten in Haiti?
C'mon this is important for all the lazy American's!!

They want to have our spelling simplified.

Now speaking on behalf of all terrible spellers, which I am their leader, I understand that spelling is difficult for some.  But do we have to dumb down everything?

There is an elementary principal in the protesting bunch who states that "the current language obstructs 40 percent of the population from learning how to read, write and spell."

With that logic and my oh so poor math skills I sometimes don't have enough digits to do math correctly.  They could help.  Perhaps they can get rid of fractions, that would be most helpful to me as well.  And then there are those pesky little lines on a ruler. They annoy and confuse the hell out of me as well. 
Who needs all that 1/16th of an inch stuff anyways?

This crazy group actually passed out literature that tells us that they think it makes more sense to have "fruit" spelled as "froot" and "slow" should be "slo".   This isn't texting people!

I can't spell a lick.  Sometimes my words are so far off spell check says, "WTF are you trying to say here Margaret we have no options for you?" 

But even this protest makes my head explode.

This is just another way of showing we American's as dumb and lazy. 

This is actually quite sad to me. 

But I suppose we have to give them props for getting their lazy butts out of bed to the protest line by noon yesterday.

Now jumping tracks to the 1980's.
Came across this photo that made us laugh last night.

This was a trip to Ft. Myers Florida in the late 80's.

Here Rick is sitting in front of a huge sign that says NO ALCOHOL.
I never saw the sign and I took the photo. (talk about dumb American's)
He never saw the sign.
Our friends never saw the sign.
We got a nice fat fine for drinking at the beach.

The policeman actually said to us, "you didn't see that sign?" as he laughed and wrote a ticket.

Thankfully the policeman laughed.
By this time our cooler was empty so we didn't have to worry about drinking any more under the sign.

Rick should have been fined for that 80's porn 'stache and those swim trunks!

I also found this photo below of one of our winter projects.
I loved this puzzle.  It looks like money is just thrown on the table.
The money is all foreign currency so that made it all the more difficult as you can imagine.

But it was fun. 

Adding a bottle of red wine into the mix while doing it made it even more of a fun ride.

TGIF...Have a great weekend everybody.