Accents

I have mentioned here before that I have issues with accents. 

When watching The Crown I needed closed captions because sometimes I swear the Queen has marbles in her mouth. 

Yesterday a woman called and I only understood 1/2 of what she said.

I felt so bad that I kept asking her to repeat.

When we got to the point of her giving me her email (so that we can send confirmation and attach a doc to tell her what to do before we get there) I was stumped.

She said it a 2nd time. 

I now have the giggles inside...I was not at all laughing at her. 

I was laughing at myself because I am thinking, I can't ask this poor woman again to repeat this. I am an idiot. How do I get this without offending her?

I can generally tell the difference between say, a Georgia accent (pretty and soft) and an Alabama accent, especially if they say the word important, then I know it's an Alabama accent. (I don't find it as pretty as Georgia's) 

But this was not anything I have ever heard before.

This is what I heard: Hoe Gray dot caan.  (like James Caan)

So I assumed there was a yahoo or gmail or some such thing missing too.

I again ask her and she says ever so slowly Hoe Gray dot caan

So there is silence. I so do not wish to offend her. 

She was a very nice lady I just couldn't understand her.  It's me. 

I then tell her that I have trouble sometimes with accents and while hers sure is pretty (ok a fib) I was having trouble. 

Thankfully she laughed and spelled out Hoe for me  - W-H-O-L-E.  

Oh, whole I said. She replied, Yes that is what I said. 

Shit that was stupid of me to say.

Gray - G-R-A-I-N.  okay, now we're getting somewhere Whole Grain.

Caan- C-O-R-N. So it was wholegrain.corn@xxx.com

Oh my goodness I didn't hear anything close to this. 

Where did that R go in corn? My speech class teacher would flip his lid.

What will I do? I am moving south. This Yankee doesn't understand southern speech. Are there courses for such things? 

I am more familiar with "Forget about it"  

I apologized to this woman and I was very thankful she didn't get angry.

However, I do believe she may think I am 'special' & I need to wear a helmet in the house.

Flashback Thursday

Since we were talking about the dingy realtors I deal with daily I thought I'd do a flashback. As you can see nothing has changed. Enjoy.

TUESDAY, MAY 6, 2014

Speaking of Realtors

When we lived in Seattle we were given a name of a realtor from someone Rick worked with.
Rick made an appointment over the phone to meet at the first property to view the home. Supposedly this woman excelled in helping those relocating to the area.

We got there a bit early. 
We were parked in front of the home next door to the house we were to look at. Rick looked up in his rearview mirror and said, "This must be her. OMG. hurry! put down your visor and check her out."

She was fluffing her white straw-like hair with black roots. It was high, big hair. She was putting on her bright pink shimmery lipstick. Her makeup courtesy of the late great Tammy Faye.  

Then she got out of the car - Rolled up her skirt so high that if she had pubic hair we'd have seen it. Then she pulled down the zipper to her top. She unzipped this so far down to show ample fake bosoms as well as her bra. 

My husband is laughing hysterically. 

I say, "the house must be bad if she feels the need to distract us that much from seeing the house" 
That made Rick laugh more.  

I ask, "you did tell her I was coming didn't you?"
He said he told her, "my wife and I would like to meet you at this house."

We let her go inside since she didn't seem to notice us. 
We walked in after she was inside the home a bit so we were right on time.
She was a hoot. She was not at all knowledgeable of the property as we asked questions. I couldn't take my eyes off her but not for nice reasons.
She couldn't answer any of our questions about the area. 
She couldn't answer anything about the home she was selling. 
When asked about the park across the street she was clueless. 

When she didn't have answers it would make her use her hands in grand gestures and laugh. She even spun around once. Then laughed. We never understood that. Was she trying to make us think it didn't matter? Did she really think flapping her arms like a big bird was fooling anyone? Perhaps she was just a walking advertisement for the plastic surgeon who did those enormous boobs. (which Rick never took his eyes off of - there's a park? what park?)

We thanked her for her time and got a new agent.  

Phones

When I used to go to the page here in blogger to post, it would automatically show my reading list. Now I get some dumb blogger list. I have to manually change it just as I did when I started this post to Normal instead of paragraph. I wish there was a way I could save it the way I want it. Do you all have the same issues? Or is it crazy Peg?

We have a busy weekend. Realtors begin showing up at our home on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd. I have to finish my office painting and clearing it out. 
Then we will make a choice.  I'm leaning towards one of them already but am hesitant.

I have such disdain for realtors. Example. The man next door.

His house went on the market on a Friday for previews. They held all contracts until Sunday night and by Monday a decision was to be chosen. 

It was busy as hell next door. People coming all day every day and sometimes pounding on the door after hours. It was crazy. 

They got over 18 bids. All over asking. 

His asking price was $524 900 and he got 618,000.   

His house is shit. So I was very happy. 

But 6% of $618 is $37,080. (but my math sucks)

So each realtor (buyer and seller) gets $18,540.  

The realtor was there on all 3 days for the open house hours. 

She sat in the kitchen I was told by the current tenant.  

The realtor paid for photographs and no video. That was it. 

Was that worth $18,540?  

Great gig if you can get it and I don't think it takes much to get it.

We considered since we need all the money we can get being in our bad situation that we'd try to do this ourselves and then get a real estate attorney but we chickened out. 

You can now list yourself on the MLS for only like $500. 

Normally if it's a For Sale By Owner (FSBO) then realtors will keep away their clients because they aren't making money. But in this market, all buyers are going on Zillow and Realtor.com and finding places themselves. So there is that. But losing 37K doesn't appeal to us when we are in this quagmire.

There is a new company called Houwser. 

They charge you a flat $5,000 fee for showing your home, doing the contract, all marketing, and taking the photos and videos - just all the things a realtor would do but for a normal price, unlike a traditional realtor. 

We will still have to pay the $3% to the buyer's agent. So instead of 37K we'd pay only the 18K.  I'd like that.  I am leaning towards that but Rick is hesitant.  We shall see. What would you choose?

When he sees the number he may change his tune. And if the guy who is coming is a dolt, then I know Rick will have something to say about his sales skills. So not only do I deal with all this shit but I need to handle Rick too.  I know that sounds mean. But sometimes he can be so stubborn that he can't see the trees through the forest. He knows that and he also knows my job is to make him see all sides when he does not wish to. Ah, just add the job to my list these days. 

I should have been a realtor. You can make a very nice 6 figure salary around these parts for not a lot of effort. In my previous career, I worked around the clock. I was in different time zones. I would work late into the night and start real early. I was on a plane, train, or by automobile. It was fast-paced and contracts that were done were millions of dollars on the line. I felt I worked my ass off for my high pay and all the money I generated for the company. I am certain most realtors would say the same. 

However, I have just never met one who does a lot of that work. I've hired several and all were worth nothing. The last one I did my own negotiating because she didn't think I should go that low. Guess what we got it for what I countered with and the dumb realtor thought was an insult. I think she just didn't want to get less money. She wasn't taking care of us only her pocket. Around here they are fat and happy because it's always been so easy in this market where we live. 

Maybe this area just makes it awful for the rest of the world's realtors who do work hard.  That could very well be the case.

The woman who was my neighbor when I moved in (2000) became a realtor. She told me she couldn't cut it. She in fact hated it. She worked for 6 months and made 100K. But she hated it so much she walked away. She told me it was easy, don't listen to them whine about all the work. They must never have worked in another corporate field. That made me laugh. She said she was bored and the people got to her, they whined a lot, co-workers and customers. That made me laugh. But she agreed with me she did make obscene money for the little work she had to do. Now when I deal with realtors here in the office you all know that I have said they are dumb. 

Most, not all. The things they say to me blow me away. "Do you need lights in the bathroom to do your job?" 

Yes, I was asked this. I wanted to say, "oh heck no we don't need no stinkin' lights we can do this in the dark" but of course, I did not. 

I was asked this one on Monday - No bathroom window, inside bath, just dark with no electricity or lights. She couldn't understand for the life of her why we couldn't do it. She was in a hurry she told me 3 times. I explained that 1. we need power for the equipment, 2. I would think you'd want us to be able to see what we are fixing and we too would like to see what we are fixing. (would you trust a hairstylist to do their precision in the dark?)

What a moron and I get realtors like this daily. 

My favorite recently was this doozy, 'why did we expect to be paid after we finished the job?'  

What? I wasn't sure I heard her correctly. But she said it again. 

I asked if she got her commission after she sold a house. Why of course she says with attitude. Do you pay your plumber before he leaves? She says of course. 

I said, "We expect paid when we are completed with our job too. 

But if for some reason you can't do that we certainly understand and we can reschedule your appointment for another time that works better for you." 

Do you all see how ready I am to retire? 

I never in a million years would have said that previously. 

But she finally understood. She actually said, "Oh I see now" 

How didn't she see that before? Get your haircut and walk out without paying and see what happens to you sister. 

Someone will be chasing you with scissors.

 

So my mantra of 'I dislike people immensely' is still intact. 

Will it change after I no longer have to answer the phones? 

God, I hope so. 

Ya'll know when this is over I will not be answering my phone for at least a month!

Nothing Much

I need to find someone to talk baseball. The no-hitters, the lack of hitting, and only hitting for the fences. I have some strong feelings on this stuff and Rick barely knows what I am talking about most days. Oh well. It is what it is to paraphrase Popeye.  Do you know I said something about Popeye when I said? 'I yam what I yam. My niece only knows of Popeye's chicken so she didn't get it. Dear Lord, I'm old.

Could you do that split?  I most certainly could!  HA. 

When I was 17 maybe but that is a long time ago. 

When I saw the replay of this I was blown away by how he kept his right foot on the base. I suppose it doesn't hurt to have long legs and be 6'3" either now does it? This kid has had a helluva year.  His arrogance is sickening but that's how all the young players are these days.  Sadly he doesn't play on my anemic team. And his attitude makes me happy about that. But boy he is fun to watch when he isn't showboating or flipping a bat.

Did you know that Starbucks has a pupocino? We stopped to get gas while on the road this weekend and I went into the Starbucks and used the restroom and bought 2 small coffees for us. The woman was chatty Cathy and asked me so many questions. She was super friendly so I went along. She asked if we had a dog with us and I said yes we do. But thinking why does she care about this? Then she said would you like a pupocino for the dog? I asked what that was. It is a teeny tiny cup (like shot glass size) of whipped cream and a very small dog biscuit shaped like a dog bone on top. Yes, Izzy is on a diet but she had a 6 hr drive in the car and was behaving so I let her have a cheat. What the hell she is over 80 years old in people years. And truth be told 6 hrs in the car is 2 hours too long for me. So imagine this poor thing who doesn't understand why she is trapped in the back seat. I'm glad I got it. We had gotten her out to pee and walk around a bit and then we got her back in the car. She was finally settled in the backseat resting on her "elbows" as we got on the turnpike. That's when I gave her this treat. She downed that whipped cream and dog biscuit in record time. But then she slept some more. That sure helps when stuck in a car with a dog. Thankfully she loves car rides.

They changed Rick's medication and his legs are so swollen. He lumbers now when he walks. He said he feels as if he has weights on his legs. They are having a difficult time getting this medication balanced and correct. You may have noticed in the video. This morning they were better. I'd like to get this wrapped up before we leave. Getting a new doctor will take forever you know. Honestly, people worry about a vaccine when all these drugs do all these horrible things to you. He is struggling right now. But he is moving forward because what the hell choice do we have right? When I said something to him about feeling bad that he was suffering like this. His response? "I'm not in the bathroom all day like you so it isn't so bad." 

While true I don't think either are fun.

This is from last weekend when Izzy was quite frustrated looking at the water and not being in the water. Her talking (or bitching) to Rick cracks me up. 

Home

Friday we got into my hometown around 5ish. It's a 6 hr drive when things go well.  We got ourselves settled into our hotel and then ran out to the liquor store. You can't buy wine or beer in a grocery store there so off to the State-run liquor store. It's about 20% higher for wine there but hey I'll pay it, it's wine 😁 Besides I needed to bring wine to our friend's home.

We then went across the street to the grocery store and bought a wine opener. 

I was driving because sometimes Rick gets confused around this town so it's just easier since I was raised there to drive. 

I am sitting in the car as Rick is getting out to go inside the store. 

I see at the same time as he says, "What is that lady pointing at?"

I can't see inside her car because of the way the sun was hitting her windshield. But I can see her point to me but I can't see her face.

She gets out to walk toward my car and I see it's my niece Madison. 

I jump out of the car faster than normal and we meet at the front of our cars and hug. She asks, what are you doing here? I said getting a wine opener. No, she says why are you in town.  To see Grandma I tell her but Grandma (my mom) is in Pittsburgh right now so we are going to visit friends. We chatted and then Rick came out of the grocery store and they hugged and chatted a minute and off we went.

We were invited over to our friend's home. 

We were SO EXCITED to see them.

The whole family has been vaccinated and we were so thrilled about hugging them and spending time with them. It was WONDERFUL. I wish they lived closer because I'd bug the hell out of them all the time. 

The following morning we hit the beach in the early morning with Izzy. 

It was overcast but warm. It's always overcast in Erie - even on days they call sunny, it's sunny but overcast. That is something I never realized until I moved. Funny huh? I mean they have clear blue sky sunny days but not as many as you'd hope for. So any type of sun when I lived there was just fine by me!  Anyway, we got Izzy in Lake Erie. There were waves and Rick was throwing it so that she was swimming against the current. That dog was so tired when done that everywhere she went she just fell asleep. That was our intent while at my mom's house so she wasn't antsy.  

Towards the end around the 14th or 15th time, he began to throw it closer to shore because we knew she was tiring out. I mean she does have a heart issue.  So even a short swim was fun for her. At times the waves were small white caps and she would lose sight of her white bumper. But she'd find it eventually and do her thing.  It looked like when she did get her bumper she just rode the waves into shore like she was surfing.  I sat at a picnic table for a while and just watched her. She and Rick would return to the table and sit a spell to let her rest for a bit. So of course she rolled in the sand. 

Why do they do that? But she was so happy. 

This is one of my favorite beaches below - Beach 11. This part is unguarded so as a young person I lived at this beach because we could float on rafts and not be harrassed by lifeguards. As a teen and 20 something that was a big deal. Silly now.

Because no one is there as far as life guards there were dogs at this part of beach 11.

At one point while Rick was at the edge of the shoreline waiting for Izzy I saw him grab the tie that holds up his shorts and the way he was standing it looked like he was peeing out there. A couple walked by and pointed to him and said, "Is that guy peeing on the beach?"  I laughed and turned and said he is tying the front of his pants. I told them I thought so too then when he turned to the side I could see what he was doing. 

They thought that was funny. 

Her tail never stopped wagging and we swore she was smiling. When we got to my mom's home Izzy sat behind a kitchen island chair that Rick sat in and fell asleep immediately!  It was perfect. She was exhausted and we could visit everyone without her begging us to leave as she is prone to do. Besides my mom has a house full of cats (ICK) and since I am petrified of those awful critters she had them upstairs so they weren't near me. Izzy would have chased them so it works best this way if Izzy is tired. It was bad enough she smelled them. 

My dog is like an old man. Doesn't want her routine disrupted. Wants to be home and not go anywhere but swimming. She can be an old curmudgeon as she has aged. Just like her human Dad.

My niece and I burned off fingerprints from the damn hot glue gun as we made these crazy centerpieces. 

2 of my sisters stopped by and we all had some laughs.

It was good to see everyone. 

Saturday night we get back to the hotel around 9:30p. Izzy hated the hotel. 

She wanted to go home. She kept going to the door and giving us sad eyes. 

We got her settled and I sat on the bed while Rick was in the bathroom. 

He came out to me sitting upright asleep again.  

He woke me to get into bed. 

It was only 10pm. But I did and slept wonderfully. The bed and pillow were both perfect. I have a newer bed (2 yrs old) and we both hate it. I wake up with lower back pain. It's just too damn soft for me. Rick on the other hand was so tired and couldn't sleep. He was up all night. He was dragging on Sunday morning.

Sunday we woke and just began to pack. The hotel coffee was bitter so we decided to wait for coffee until we got to mom's. We stopped at Wegmann's (grocery store) and I got some fresh bagels and schmear. I got some other breakfast items and some GF bread for me to make sandwiches for the ride home. Since I can't eat at any of the rest stop food places it's nice to have a little something for me to eat. 

We get to my mom's with breakfast goodies. 2 of my nieces were thrilled with the bagels. My mom had a 1/2 of one. She barely eats anymore. We all had some good coffee that wasn't bitter and had more laughs. I had 2 gf pizzelles and coffee. I couldn't have my gf bagels because I would have to toast them and their toaster is all gluten. GF bagels can not be eaten raw - oh trust me on this!  I have gotten sick from cross-contamination before so I wasn't trying her toaster. So I won't make that mistake again. Traveling is hard to eat so I normally bring my own food all the time. Better than being hungry and watching others eat. 

My niece Azzi is so damn pretty and a heart of gold. She is always told she looks like me. She doesn't. I would like to look like her. I get that we have similarities but I would be so lucky to look like her. I adore her as I do most of my nieces. She is 24/25 and she is having those 24/25 yr old struggles. I was talking with her about her future and she is so confused and torn about what to do next. God how I remember those days. I wouldn't want my 20's for anything other than my face and body. One's 20s are difficult. I'm glad I survived mine.

I drove home because Rick really wanted to close his eyes, claiming he was so tired.  Sirius had the Yankee game on so that made me a happy camper.

I enjoy listening to a game like the old days if I can't see it.

I admit I HATE driving with him in the car. He uses his brake on the passenger side, is constantly yelling, Margaret you're doing this or that. 

I told him at one rest stop if he didn't close his eyes and keep his thoughts to himself I'd leave him at the rest stop. He began laughing.

I asked, "You think I'm kidding?"  He said, "No that is what is so funny"

So the rest of the trip he shut the hell up!  I did not kill us. I got home safely he closed his eyes and slept for a bit and I didn't need a GPS - so there Mr. smart ass!

I know I seem to be off my rocker, and I am, but I was not drinking at 8:30am I'm just goofy and ya'll know that part already if you've been coming around here. Do you know how cold that water must be? Our guess was low 50s. Brrr.....but she loves cold and she'd break the ice to do this so it just doesn't matter to her. 

Flash Back Friday 2008

 Traveling, so please have a read about directionally impaired Rick.

        FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2008

I Don't Think So

In the days before GPS...
My hubby and I don’t often fight. There has always been 1 exception to this.....being in the car together. Oh, he can make me so mad when he is driving.
He tells me to be his co-pilot and he hands me the map and then will say, “you’ve got to tell me where to go okay?” I tell him to turn right. He says, “I don’t think so” and continues on his merry way.

I am holding the map and I have the address who do you think is correct? Then after driving aimlessly in circles for 25 minutes he turns around and goes back to where we should have turned right and says, “We should have turned here” as though I never mentioned it.
Oh God, how he frustrates me in a car!

Now having told you this you should also know that he is hopelessly directionally impaired. Oh, that is so not an exaggeration. When he used to travel for work I always wondered how the hell he got off a plane in a strange city and ended up where he needed to be on time knowing that he is so bad at directions.  He is a freak about being prompt so I know he was on time but how the hell he got there is anyone's guess including his. I now believe when he did arrive at his destination at all it should be considered another wonder of the world.

Once he called me from Maine. He was there for work. He took a wrong turn. Imagine that will ya? He was on a road he said that was parallel to where he needed to be so he figured he'd get there. I asked how he knew that. A map he snarled. Okay then. (remember this is back in the day of mapquest and maps) He called to tell me that this road was gorgeous he had trees on the left and water on the right and on and on he went. He told me I was right he loved Maine (I sure do!)  I said but if you're not supposed to be on this road why do you continue? Oh, I'll get there no worries. That would make me itchy. I couldn't be late for an appointment with a client and know I'm on the wrong road. He can't be late - EVER so I can't imagine him being so calm about this. But God love him he made it to where he had to be. I just shake my head at that man.

Now hubby is delusional about a lot of things. (for instance, he thinks I’m cute and he thinks he has way more hair than he actually does) But it’s important to note that he isn’t delusional about the fact that he is so directionally impaired. When I suggested he get a GPS when they came on the market he too thought that was a great idea.

Imagine my surprise when one day I get into the car and the woman's voice on the GPS tells him to turn left and he says to her, “I don’t think so” 
He is talking back to this automated woman for heaven's sake! 
For most of that trip, all I keep hearing is the GPS woman say, “recalculating” because he won’t listen to her either. OH MY GOD!

Then a couple of weeks later I get in his car and the GPS woman is now speaking with an Australian accent. I asked him why.
He answers me with a laugh, "because the other bitch was pissing me off".
I ask him if her lovely accent helps him to listen to her directions he responded with, “You’d think so wouldn’t you?” 

Meaning – NO.  Now that made us both laugh out loud.

So now it’s a little less stressful for me when driving with him and with much less arguing.
I always know that we will get wherever we are going in a very unusual way with or without a GPS. I no longer take his not listening to my directions so personally. I mean if he talks back to an inanimate object and argues with her...

She's back.

Well, let me bore you with my fun day on Wednesday.
My poor husband had the worst birthday ever!

I had lunch Tuesday at 11:30am - I was not allowed food after 12pm.

I could drink only water and clear liquids not red.

Tuesday night I was told to do this before my testing on Wednesday.

5pm - 3 ducolax pills

7pm - 8.3 oz miralax mixed into 64 oz of Gatorade. Mix until dissolved and take 32 oz of this fun stuff. (God Gatorade is soooo sweet it's awful)

3:30AM - 32 oz of the above. 

BUT DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING 4 HRS BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL TIME.

Okay, I am as good at math as I am spelling but 3:30am and then have to be there at 7a doesn't give me 4 hrs as requested.

I show this to Rick and ask, "I know I'm bad at math but this doesn't compute does it?"  He laughed at me and said, "Good girl, your math skills are getting better.  Besides don't wait until 3:30a or you'll be unable to make it to the procedure! Take it earlier and be done with it - your ass doesn't have a time stamp. They don't know. They only care you are cleaned out"

Well, that time stamp comment made me laugh and he was right they won't know.

So I did it my way.

I took the 3 pills that were to be done at 5pm at 2pm

I took the first 32 oz at 5p instead of 7p

I took the last 32oz at 8pm instead of 3:30a.  I thought I'd be able to go to bed at midnight this way. Oh no. I did not sleep. I was up all night.

You know what I learned?  

• I love the color of the walls in my downstairs powder room. 
• I did a damn good job painting it.
• I think the mirror in that bathroom has something wrong because it never looks clean no matter how often I do this. 
• I realized I also needed to take the sculpture off the wall and hose it down, obviously, my dusting isn't working on this metal piece of art. 
• Our floors look good in this room.
• Charmin is still the best.

That is what I learned spending a day and night in a small powder room.

At 4:30am I thought I was done. I took a shower and got myself presentable for human consumption. No sense in going to be for 1 hour.  I was told no jewelry, makeup, or personal items. Okay, that makes getting ready quick. 

We had to leave at 6:20 so we could be on time.

I was ready at 5:30p. Rick took the dog for a walk and I made him some coffee. We 3 left for the hospital at 6:15. 

I had to make a stop back home. We got 4 whole blocks and back into that pretty colored bathroom AGAIN.

Back in the car - oops, gotta stop at this Lowes.  

Back in the car. Get to where I had to be. Whew, made it. 5 minutes late but we made it and I did it without soiling myself.  That for me was by far the best part. They won't let Rick in so he and the dog parked under a nice big shade tree and both napped.

I get inside and I think they took the covid stuff a bit far. I couldn't walk in I had to knock. Someone came to the front and handed me a mask. I had one on. She said throw yours away and pointed through the door to the wastebasket. I threw my new blue paper mask in the garbage. I put on the one she handed through the slot. Then I was allowed in. 

What was that about? I guess my mask had cooties.  I had another mask in my purse that someone made for me and I wondered if she just didn't like my blue paper mask. It was brand new. But she gave me one that was the exact same as what I had on. 

I got in & had to answer all the covid questions and have my temp taken.

Then I asked where the bathroom was.  Being in a waiting room of people who are having this makes the bathroom popular. I had to wait. I couldn't wait. They showed me another. Whew.

I was worried I'd be unable to get this test because I took this stuff so late. Honestly, if I could not have done the procedure while there I was never rescheduling this thing!  

Finally, I get called to go back. Why did I have to be there at 7am when I didn't get back there until 8:40a?  Oh, I know, so I could finish cleaning myself out. Geez. 

IV's and more questions and then I am given a lovely robe and hauled off to the surgical room.  I have had both of these tests before. This time everything from prep to the actual day was so far different.  I don't remember anything until they came back and yelled my name. I was now awake but loopy. Last two times not loopy at all.

I don't remember a lot. They called Rick and he pulled upfront and they took me out to the car. Apparently, they spoke to Rick about findings and the next 24 hrs. I don't recall anything of that. I got home and I remember telling Rick that I feel so out of it.  He told me to lay down for a while. I slept for 3 hrs and awoke and didn't know where the hell I was at first. Then I realized how late it was and I thought I'd work 1/2 day. HA.  No, I did not.  I was still so out of it.

I went downstairs to find Rick and Izzy napping. I put an out-of-office message on voicemail so if I didn't work people would understand after I decided I could not work. Seriously I felt loopy this many hours later. 

Every other time I have had this it is just like a really good nap and I feel refreshed. I was reading my paperwork I brought home it said I had general anesthesia. Why? Why not just the one that begins with the letter P.  

I had that the last time. The stuff that killed Michael Jackson. Is that why I feel so out of it? Or maybe that P drug whose name I can't think of, is the same as general anesthesia, who the hell knows. Not me. I just know it affected me very differently than the other 2 times.

I was so damn hungry I can't tell you. At the hospital, they gave me gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. I don't like chocolate chip cookies but yet I devoured them. They gave me two small bags. I brought the other home for Rick. There are about 10 cookies in the bag that were the size of a nickel and he kept saying these are so tiny you can pop a few in your mouth. Okay, knock yourself out.  I was more coherent now with better food choices available so I didn't want choc chip cookies.

I wanted dinner. Rick had made some beef skewers with red onions and peppers on the skewers. He made rice. He even marinaded the skewers. So I devoured a skewer and some rice like I have never eaten before. Then I was so darn full I felt uncomfortable but it's better than hungry.  We ate an early bird special at 5pm. I was fast asleep by 6:30pm.  I remember saying I need to be sure the game is recording because I don't think I can stay awake to watch it. (glad I did record it, a no-hitter game)  

Rick said I was talking to him, he responded and I had already fallen asleep on the sofa. He turned around to see this and laughed he told me. He came over to me sitting upright on the sofa and pushed me on my side and put a blanket on me. I slept there until 11pm and woke up to a dark house and climbed upstairs to my bed. I slept until 7 this morning. 12 hours of sleep. It felt wonderful. I awoke to feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

I don't know what the hell they gave me but it was never ever like this before. Rick said maybe because I'm older. I don't think so. I really think it was just done differently. Normally it's just the best nap ever. This was like real surgery where you are groggy for a good long while afterward.

Anyway, I have what we thought. Most brought on by inflammation which has been haunting me now for years and can't get rid of.

So to answer your questions.

I have:

Diverticular colitis is the term used to describe a particular pattern of active chronic inflammation in the sigmoid colon affected by diverticular disease, namely the occurrence of luminal mucosal inflammation, whether or not there is evidence of inflammation within and/or around the diverticula themselves.

I have a cyst on my kidney but it hasn't grown since the last CT scan but a biopsy was done anyway.

Due to inflammation, I have to take an antibiotic which will do nothing but I can't tell the doctor that. But I know that. I've been dealing with this for so long. Look, this damn inflammation gave me "betty" on my eye so I know that an antibiotic won't make it go away.  But she thinks it could be from an infection. It's not. But again I can't tell the doctor this because she doesn't listen to me about this stuff as my others drs will.

Two things were biopsied and I should know in a couple of weeks about that stuff. Overall nothing new to report.

She doesn't think I should avoid certain foods. She feels that is "old school thinking" I have not found one thing that bothers me more than another so she may be right. But at least I don't have to eat all that dairy and stuff she had me on prior to these procedures. I gained 5lbs in 5 days eating that way. I can't do a lot of dairy and a lot of grains. In small doses but certainly not every day and not in the volume she had me eating it. So I am happy to report I can eat as usual, protein and veggies, with a side of wine🤣😂 I actually want a salad, I can't wait to eat a big salad!

Heading north tomorrow for a quick trip up and back. We have so much happening here that having to make this trip does make me a bit angry. But I have to do it because my time apparently is less important than everyone else's. Family!

Throw Back Tuesday

 Since I am out of pocket today I am putting up a post up from 10 years ago.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2011

Brown Eyes and Big Tits

Everyone has talked to my tits like they were microphones the majority of my life.  It drives me mad and it always has.

When I was 9 I was wearing what I called a serious bra by that time.  

I skipped "training bras" and went into full combat mode with no training. How will the "girls" know how to stand at attention with no training? 

I always thought the term, "training bra" was funny. Don't you?

When I would say these things my mom would laugh at me and say, "You'll be happy about all this someday."  She lied to me. 

I noticed that old men (you know like 20) looked at me weird. I hated it. But 9-year-old boys did too. They would snap my bra on the way to gym class. I spent most of those years crying. It wasn't fun. What was the big deal is what I didn’t understand! I longed to be flat-chested since the age of 8. It never changed.

Cheerleading in high school was horrendous. Jumping with these things I could blacken an eye. There were no sports bras just one to train your girls. So I would ask to be wrapped in an ace bandage to keep them tight so when I jumped, did cartwheels, and backflips everything stayed where it should stay. 

No flipping and stopping while my boobs were still going, boing, boing.   

Yes, my high school boyfriend thought it was silly. Then one day he was over and I did some of those things in the backyard without the ace bandage and he laughed. Okay he told me, I see the issue but honestly, I don't mind as he laughed. I know he doesn't mind but I do. 

He understood the need, he finally got it. Now, if only we'd been smart enough to invent the sports bra. I could be rich! So before games, he or another cheerleader would help wrap me up in an ace bandage. 

Ah, high school when they are all new and pert.

Fast forward to age 28/29.
My best friend Melanie and I were heading over to her date's apartment for a double date. The guy I was dating, Eddie, was fixing his best friend up with my best friend. 
We were meeting at the apartment for some drinks and to chat a bit to get to know one another before we all went out.

Eddie and I went into the kitchen to refresh everyone’s drinks and the cheese and cracker platter. I was wearing a man’s style white shirt, a pair of jeans and high heel ankle boots. (jewelry) 

Nothing fancy because we weren’t doing anything fancy. 

The white shirt was not tight and pulling at the buttons with my bosom dying to escape a la Pamela Anderson.
Oh no, it was normal. I never wore things like that to draw attention to them….ever. 
Yet Eddie was staring at my boobs all night as often was the case.

Now as we are in the kitchen making drinks he is once again talking to my boobs and not me.

“Hey, Ed, These are not microphones,” I say as I touch my boobs and lift his chin. (that was something I had to say way too often to way too many) I remind him I hear with "these" as I point to my ears.

I closed my eyes and continue on, “I bet you don’t even know what color my eyes are, do you?”

He laughs. I laugh too. 

“Well, I'm waiting Ed? What color are they?”

I've gone out with this fun guy for a few months now and he doesn't know the color of my eyes!  I didn’t have to open my eyes to know he is really hoping I will open them because he has no fucking clue as he stares at my eyes.  I can "feel" him looking at my closed eyes, the hopeless idiot.

He says, “They’re green. Yep, green. I’m sure of it!”

"Are you sure? Because we have been going out now for about 3 months so you should know what color my eyes are."

I open my eyes and he is actually looking at my eyes for a change and he says, “Damn it!...not even close, they're brown!” 

No, not even close. But I laugh because he was sincerely shocked by this.
He tries to tell me that most people don’t notice other people’s eye color.
Oh, come on now Eddie that is just a lame-ass excuse! 

Yes, normal people do notice other's eyes.

"I'll prove to you that most people don't Peg."
He then yells into the living room, “Melanie what color are Peg’s eyes?”

Without missing a beat Melanie yells back, “Hazel - greenish”

He says, “Ah-ha! See? You've been friends for 10 years you told me. 

So you think she’s just staring at your tits too?”

Damn it. So with that we both laugh. Honestly, how could SHE not know?

Now that I am old. They have deflated. All women understand this. 

Men don't normally get the deflated part.  Men have hanging not deflating right? 

Yep deflating is as bad as falling.

So number one is that I am now old so I am invisible to the majority of the population. 

Because they have deflated they don't look as big. That's good.

BUT they are and I still have to roll them up (😮) to get them in the same size bra.  So this is the only thing about aging that may be okay for me.

I am not ogled, stared at and people now look at my face to talk to me -if they see me.

So what color are my eyes?

Wrap It Up

Hey, Female Readers do you remember a thing we wore back in the 70s called a Wrap around skirt?  Wrap-around skirts were all the rage when I was in high school.  They were sometimes called Wrap skirts. If you ever watched 'That 70s 

Show' the girls wore them a lot.  I had a few and I loved them. 

I got a feed on my Instagram for a Rip Skirt. It intrigued me so I went to view this.

Basically, it's a wrap-around skirt, only instead of it tying or buttoning inside, it is velcro.   Here it is. 

I love wearing skirts in the summer over shorts. Or I like skorts. 

The ease of a skirt in the summer is great. There are 4 lengths for these Rip Skirts. 

I chose "lotta leg" because I'm short and by the time I put it on it will be just above my knee or to my knee. If you are of average height "lotta leg" would be pretty short. If I wear a maxi skirt then I get lost in the fabric and look ridiculous. Rick never believed me so I put one on once in a store for him, he laughed so hard he choked. Yes, It's official I can not wear maxi dresses or long skirts. 

I looked at these and flipped through colors, prints, and lengths and left. The next day I got a coupon. So I put something in my cart. Then a week later I got a better coupon so I ordered one to see if this is going to be what I need. If so I'll buy more.  I didn't mean to not buy but at times I am browsing and then I am interrupted so I don't go back. But let me tell you I may do that again to get that discount!

I've got a very busy week ahead. My procedures are on the 19th. I have to be at the hospital at 7:30am. God that's out of the house early. Rick's birthday is this day and how horrible for him that he has to drive me. He said he wasn't working so he was fine with this but I feel so bad about it.

I've had to be on a low residue diet since the 14th. No veggies except the dreaded canned beans or carrots. Eeew - that's baby food. So no veggies for me. Basically, things I can eat or will eat are not on the list. It's mostly things I never ever eat. Grains, like white rice. (no brown rice) lots of carbs are allowed. I don't normally eat carbs because most are gluten and being celiac I can't eat them. So I had cottage cheese. I had ice cream. But dairy isn't my friend in large doses either so basically, I am hungry and trying to eat very little because it is just for a few more days.  Nowhere on this list does it say I can't have rosé wine so I had some. Oooh, one small glass knocked me on my ass from not eating. I'm a cheap date now. Rick said, "one glass? who are you?"  I'm loaded Peg that's who. No food, no wine is my new rule even if I am allowed to have it. 

Geez, you'd think I was a silly 20 something doing something like that. 

Idiot Peg.  I slept well though. 

😉

Then the dreaded 18th, or tomorrow.  

On that day I can eat my lunch at noon of this diet and that is the last of solid food until after my procedures on the 19th. 

Just clear liquids that are not red. 

Now if you've had a colonoscopy you know the fun I'm going to be having on Tuesday. They say to start this drink and pills at 7pm. No way in hell. I did that the first time and I was up all night. I will start about 4 hours sooner than that so I can go to bed and actually sleep for a couple of hours before all the fun begins. 

I don't mind the endoscopy. A bit of a sore throat after but no biggie. No prep. Just knock me out and shove a long camera down my throat. And then I awake from a great nap and go home. 

But no, they have to do another colonoscopy. After this one, I hope it's my last. I hate these. 

But then again, does anyone ever say, "oooh yippee I'm having a colonoscopy, and the day before I can't eat and I will be on the toilet most of the day. I can't wait!!"  No, no one says that, and if they did I'd have to have them committed. That would be one weird fetish!

So if I'm not around the next couple of days you'll know where to find me.

In one of our bathrooms...fun, fun, fun.

_________________________________________________

Because Bob just turned 76 and I just can't even believe it!

No Gas, Just Food & Wood Porn

On Monday Rick was working in someone's bathroom. 
He went out to his truck as he does to mix some chemicals and when he came back into the house the homeowner told him that she left him something on the bathroom vanity. 

She was leaving for an hour but she'll be right back.

His first thought was, "Oh, this isn't good" 

When he got there he found this on the vanity. She told him later that she thought he looked like a milk and sugar kind of guy. And he is. So she looked at his big ole belly and thought this guy likes all the fattening stuff so let's load up the coffee.

He found that humorous as well. And the coffee was very good - not as great as the cinnamon roll which I have heard about for a couple of days. Homemade no less.

What is funny is he said he could smell the cinnamon rolls and thought to himself, gee why do people do this to me? The Friday before it was bacon. The smell of bacon is an aphrodisiac to him if you ask me!  Wasn't this nice of them? (do you remember the people who fed him and he was at the wrong house? why does everyone feed him? he doesn't look like he's starving)

Older people feed him. They see that big ole belly and probably think, I can get to him by food. Younger people offer tips. Funny how that works.  And now that I think of it when the floor people were here I fed them too. I'm old. So guess that does work that way.

In other news, my husband as I have mentioned watches a lot of woodturning.

Making bowls vases etc. There is one person on youtube who he watches and I tease him about it. You see most are a bunch of fat old white guys. One guy from Canada is just a hoot because he is damn funny and I happen to love his accent. I believe he is from Saskatchewan. There is the big man from South Africa that works in a lot of wood I have never seen before because they are endemic to where he lives. But some are so gorgeous. Anyway, there is a lovely blonde thing in America who he watches. Besides doing great work, she gives great tips on tools and if you don't have this, try this, type of thing that he finds very useful being a beginner.  

Now Kim is blonde, blue-eyed, and as pretty as can be. 

So when I first saw her that is what began me asking him if he was watching wood porn. 

Rick follows some of these guys on Facebook. They share ideas and comments on the work. They ask questions and learn new things.  

Rick wrote on one post yesterday that his wife walked in while he was watching Kim and asked if he was watching wood porn to which he replied, "yes dear"  Well Kim actually saw the post and loved the comment and wrote back.  All the guys got a kick out of this. OOooh Ricky the pretty girl liked your comment & wrote back to you. (yes that was me saying it like a 5th grader to him all sing-songy)

Kim is a bible thumper and brings something about that up in each video. 

When she starts that stuff Rick says he can't take it and will FF through her religious stuff. 

I said, "Well, I have no worries now do I?  You'd never leave me for a person who tells you that Jesus saves every 10 minutes."  

He laughed and said, "She's so pretty you knew she was either crazy or a bible thumper."   What? 

In all seriousness, why do men think if you are gorgeous there has to be something wrong with you?

So what is wrong with George Clooney then?

Got gas? Not here.

Going to get gas this morning. 

Tried yesterday but it was scary shit at the pump.
Lines, people screaming at one another. 

I was fearful of some redneck from the outskirts pulling out a gun or something. 

This is so frigging crazy. The damn Russians. 

If not back by dinner time - send a search party. 

Old lady and her old dog gone missing.

The southeast and east coast is under attack. 

__________________________________________

Just returned from 9 locations. No gas to be had. :-(

Can't go to work without gas. I have less than 1/2 a tank.

Can't get to people's homes to do our job without gas.

Gonna be a crazy few weeks I see. 

This is the pipeline that supposedly feeds 45% of the east coast.

I could use scratchy cheap TP when Charmin was out. But I can't move my car for work or groceries without gas. I may need to invest in a wagon to pull behind my bike. Oh yea, I need a bike.

Moms and Dads

The weekend of Mother's day I had so many people, stranger people, wish me a Happy Mother's Day. 
I have a fur baby but strangers don't know that.

Do strangers walk up to random men and say, "Happy Father's Day"?

I bet the answer is no. I don't think anyone has ever said that to Rick other than his daughter.  

I walked into a Mcdonald's while waiting in the car for my dog at the vet. (no other bathrooms around) 

We still can't go into the vets - they walk out to fetch your dog from your car.

 As I walked in 2 women were waiting in the vestibule and they were so animated and were saying Happy Mothers Day to all females walking in. I smiled and said thank you and hope they enjoyed their day. But...

When I was young it bothered me so much I normally said something like, "thank you but I'm not a mother" But then you'd see the person who thinks they are being nice look deflated so I just stopped saying anything other than thank you. I mean they think they are being nice so it's not their fault this bothers me. But I admit it REALLY bugs the shit out of me. But why? 

When I was young I get it. 

I was bombarded with everyone coming at me for not choosing to have kids. ALL the time. 

It was everywhere and why everyone thinks they should comment on one's reproductive choices is beyond me. I have never walked up to someone and said, "Gee don't you think you've had enough kids already?"  

Yes, the bubble over my head may be thinking that but I would never say it. It's their choice. The only time others should comment, intervene or say a single thing - is when a child is being abused or hurt in some way. Otherwise, be quiet.  

Do you know that no one has ever said to Rick, 'Oh you've had a vasectomy and you're so young, don't you want more children?"  He was in his 20s. 

I guess having the vasectomy doesn't make them see how dumb that question truly is.  If I had ever had my tubes tied when I was 28 I would have had to lie to survive the family wrath!

I wonder how women who long for kids and can't have them feel when strangers just say, "Happy Mothers Day" to other random strangers.

I bet that stings. Or someone who has lost a child. 

I think we need to keep that phrase for mothers you know, your family, etc. Not strangers who happen to look female.

I got back to my car after the McDonalds scene and I asked Rick if anyone ever says Happy Fathers Day to him that are perfect strangers. He sat and thought about it for a while. Yes, he says, Doggy Day Care remember?

Yep. He got a paw print framed of Izzy from Doggy Day Care for Fathers Day. I said, "I think that is a bit different. They are playing on the Fur Baby aspect and it's cute.  I mean random strangers like I just encounter at the Mickey D's, does that happen to you?  

Never.  

Just as I thought. But why?

Tuesday

Thanks for the good wishes for my cousin.
His wife sent a photo of him sitting in a chair with his entire head wrapped in bandages. I told him, "nice hat" 

Rick of course told him he looked like he rides the short bus. 

Apparently, that made him laugh his ass off according to his wife. 

We did not ask about the tremors. We just asked about how he was feeling, doing, when he goes home, etc. I'll be up there in a couple of weeks so I will stop in. 

But it just didn't seem like I should be asking that at that point. 

But it sounds like it went well.  It was all in-text so when I see them I know it will be different.  I will get the scoop and let you know.

We finished all work needing to be done on the outside of our home for sale.

Everything has been power washed (new power washer since the last one died) 

We took off all the covers to the outdoor furniture. We pulled all the cushions out of the rubber-made box they are stored in. Everything was power washed and/or scrubbed. 2 outdoor doors were painted by me. I love to paint. Good thing I have some to do inside. Nothing big but it must be done. Rick power washed the front of the house as much as we could get being a 3 level townhome. 

We have some flowers to plant but it's getting there. We want it to be that extra living space that everyone loves and hopefully, they love ours. It's not finished but soon enough. That door you see open to the garage was just painted as was the one leading out to the patio.

I posted this because he's damn cute. Now even with his white hair. 

My husband saw him in this shirt years ago and said he wanted one.  Typical.

I saw this lady on my way to the doctor's office the other morning. I sent it to Rick and asked how the hell she got my name!

This made me howl thinking of Bill Gates trolling for women who have been vaccinated.

I so loved this retort. Or as my favorite phrase says, "This is a special kind of stupid"