Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sit or Squat

As many of you know my husband knows every damn bathroom from our home in Virginia up to Maryland. Poor man has issues.

As other posts have noted, he carries toilet paper with him so a man who carries his own Charmin in his vehicle needs this website.

I came across this today and I literally burst out laughing. I am in my office all alone and I laughed out loud. Honestly if I had my dog already I would have scared her!

This is just the funniest damn thing to me. He may not need it around here but when he's out of town this could come in handy. Have it sent to your cell phone or never know.

Hey if you remember the blog on May 27th you'll see how he could have used that sucker on that day!

Happy sitting.....or squating.

Monday, March 23, 2009


We have decided that we are ready for a dog. Not a puppy but a dog.

When we both traveled all week in our careers we felt having a dog wouldn't make sense when we are never home. So now that I work from home all day and hubby is home every night we decided it was time to get that dog we wanted.

We both want a labrador retreiver. I prefer chocolate labs but hubby really wants yellow. And to be honest the yellow lab's shedding would show less around our home than the chocolate so that is okay by me. I am anal retentive about my house so I will have to let go of a lot I see.

We decided that a puppy would be a full time job right now that I just don't have the time for so we went with Lab Rescue to find our dog. We found the dog we would love to have live with us on their website. We read all about her and she sounds perfect. She's cute as well. She is medium in energy, she is 3.5 yrs old and to we old farts that is a good thing.
We don't even have the dog but we have discussed how the chores will be split with us.
I will not under any circumstances pick up steaming hot poo. Just won't do it. In our neighborhood you must pick up your dogs pile of steaming hot poo or there will be hell to pay.
There are containers and bags all over the place to dispose of it but that doesn't mean I want to put that bag on my hand and pick it up. My hubby said he would buy me a scooper and I can live with that.

We filled out the MULTI page application and sent it in.
But quite frankly I fear this process would be much easier if we were trying to adopt a human baby!!!
Our next step is to be interviewed by phone. Then they have us come to their place and interact with the dog while they monitor us. I guess if they think for a minute that I will turn into Cruella De Vil then no doggie for me!

If we pass the interaction phase with the dog then we get a home visit for them to check out our home and if it's adequate for a dog. Okay this step kills me. Dogs drink from toilets. They don't care where we live. They want and need love, exercise and structure like a child. Does it really matter if I don't live in a mansion? Does it really matter if I am in a single familiy home or an apartment, a condo or a townhome? Do you think this dog really gives a hoot how much money I make in a year or if I love him and feed him and play with him?

If my house were on wheels would I not be allowed to have a dog? I don't have much of a yard living in a townhome so will that exclude me from adopting? Our yard may not be big but we will walk him and play at the park etc. On weekends we will take him to our lake home with an acre of land and lots of water for a lab to play in? What the hell are they looking for is what is puzzling me?

Anyway after all this they will check our references. Honestly this all could take 6 -8 weeks they tell us. 6 -8 weeks to adopt a dog seems crazy to me. I must say I am surprised that we didn't have to give them blood or have a blood test because I really feel this has been a bit intrusive and ridiculous.

I bet Michael Vick would have passed and look where that got his poor dogs?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Friends.....or are they?

Making friends when you get older becomes a lot more difficult than say, high school or college.
Working from home and being self employed doesn't lend itself to seeking out new friends easily.
I no longer have little ones at home so I can't meet new friends at the mommy and me play dates or soccer games.
I suppose that the word friend means something different to everyone.

Just the other day when I was lamenting about a "friend" my husband pointed out to me that friendship should be cultivated like any relationship and both parties should work at it.
Would I tolerate the behavior I was complaining to him about about if it came from him?

Gee, I thought that was a good question. The answer was a big fat NO.
If my husband didn't work on our relationship, respect it or nuture it I would clearly see we had issues and not a good relationship. And I sure as hell wouldn't tolerate that behavior without saying something. Thankfully he's not like that.
And he is right to ask me this, why do I take it from "friends"?

As you grow up sometimes your lives go in different directions. I had a great friend who was on the mommy track as I was on the career track. But that didn't stop either of us from remaining friends. I was just as involved in her life and she was in mine. We couldn't have been more different and yet we always made time for one another, called each other, celebrated our successes and shared the ice cream in our sadness and disappointments. That is a friend.
She is still my friend. And honestly since high school we don't have a damn thing in common except our friendship. But it works and we both work at it.

I made friends with a woman 9 years ago. Then she went into Mommy mode and has no time for me. I don't get that.
I found time for her when she would call and I was working 60 hour weeks traveling all over America for my job. She needed something I was there. She doesn't have time to cook I bring over a crockpot of food. You need to nap, I'll watch the kids. I offer. I am finding that is the difference.
I really do understand being overwhelmed with 2 kids and all that encompasses. I saw it with my friend I mentioned above. But this woman finds time to send me stupid email jokes, to solicit me in emails for products she is selling, but has no time to respond to an email of substance or a phone call. She claims she is too busy to use the phone when I ask why didn't you call back to let me know if we were still doing such and such. We make plans and she doesn't respond or show up. She complains she doesn't get to see me but I am the only one doing the reaching out.
Is that really a friend? Or is this a self indulgant person who has no regard for anyone else? I believe that was a rhetorical question.

Then there are the friends that you spend time with now out of habit that you realize you wouldn't even pick as a friend today. That just happened recently. We were having cocktails and I was listening to this person's story and what was actually going through my head was this..... "Oh my God you are not a nice person. When did this happen or were you always this way but I ignored it? You are a homophobic bigoted asshole, why are you in my house? Why am I friends with you, I don't even think I even like you."

After the person left I felt horrible. I felt extremely sad, I felt emotions I can't even articulate. Was I in a type of mourning? I wondered why I never noticed these traits or did I possibly just ignore them? I wondered how that could be? Could this person have just changed during our lapses in time of seeing one another? Or was it there all along?

Your thoughts?

Monday, March 2, 2009


Saturday night we got a dusting of snow. I say a dusting because I grew up in Snow Country. Where 120-150 inches a year was no big deal and life NEVER stopped because of it.
A dusting because if you made a snow ball you'd get leaves and dirt and debris - so it wasn't much.

We went to our neighbors home and had a few drinks and laughs and then we left around midnight.

Sunday morning we were lying on the couch trying to regroup. We old farts take a bit longer to get moving the morning after drinking or staying up late. And sadly midnight is late for us.
Suddenly we heard a big thud on our front door.
We heard some giggling and just figured it was kids outside messing around. We thought it was just a snowball thrown at our door or that just hit our door because they missed their target.

But my nosey husband couldn't let it go. He got up and thought he'd check it out.
He looked out the window and saw nothing. He opened the front door and burst into laughter.

He yelled, "Margaret, you have got to come see this."
"Oh Rick are there people out front because I am still in my p.j.'s"
"No just come to the front door would you please?"

I go to the front door and this is what I see.

Okay this was funny!

We have no idea who did this. We were convinced it was our neighbors. So Rick took off the male genitalia and made it a woman. Yep accurately a woman with big old snow boobs with nipples. He picked it up and ran over and put it on our neighbors porch, rang the doorbell and ran. Okay we are old but not mature.

They called us and were laughing and thought Rick needed a new hobby. We realized they didn't do this. So we contacted the neighbors on the other side of us thinking they would be the only other ones who could possibly have done this. But we kind of doubted it because they have a 7 year old daughter. They thought it was quote, "Flipping Hilarious" but as they said, "they weren't that creative."

So fast forward to later in the day and I was in my office. I heard kids outside and I looked at the young boys. I opened the window thinking they may have been the pranksters and I heard them say, "How did it get on this guy's porch? (pointing to our neighbor) " Honestly it had a penis and nuts." They were laughing and trying to convince a kid that it had been changed.

So I now knew who did it. The kids were between 14-16 years old. Never have seen any of them before so I know they don't live close by. I yelled out the window, "Hey boys that was REALLY FUNNY, WE LOVED IT." They froze for a minute with sheer terror on their faces and then ran like hell. Honestly we were not even close to being mad - we thought it was funny. It didn't harm any property or person. It was just a prank that kids do that was harmless. I like harmless. Now would I have been so thrilled if I had a small kid - probably not but I know Rick and I would have still found it funny but have destroyed it before the kids saw it.

But why our house? I know the lady who is 78 and lives 2 doors down would not have found it funny so it was a good thing it was on our doorstep. Why do all these things happen to us?
Guess they knew their targets even though we didn't know them.