I'm Still Here

 Hi Blogger Buddies.

Well, where do I begin to update you?

Is there anything worse than an old woman going on about her ailments?

I will try to make this as brief as possible.

I have been to many doctors. I need to see one more that my GI surgeon is sending me to.

Hopefully, this will be negative and I won't need that doctor in with the GI doctor during surgery. 

I have a colonoscopy on Wednesday. So as you all know I can't leave the house on Tuesday.  The way they do the prep for a colonoscopy here is how they did it in the 80s. It's a bit backward and outdated but with the same results. It's just miserable for me.  

I then see the GI surgeon again on Thursday to be sure that nothing surprised them from the colonoscopy. They did a CT scan with contrast when I was in the ER and they are using that as what needs to be done and will compare it with the Colonoscopy.

Have you ever had a CT Scan with contrast before? The contrast makes you feel like you are peeing yourself while lying on this table. You get all warm and it feels exactly like you just peed yourself.  But nope, thankfully, you didn't. It is such a weird feeling, to say the least. The first time I had this they told me it was coming but then all of a sudden you get that warm feeling and I knew they told me I wasn't peeing but it freaked me out. This was the 2nd time so I knew what was coming but it is still weirdly unsettling.

If everything else is negative then I will be having surgery to remove a small portion of my colon. It is done laparoscopically. So you'd think I'd go home that day.  BUT they keep you in the hospital for 3 -4 days until you poop. Lovely. They want to be sure everything is running as supposed to.

I will give you more info later but that gives you an overview.

I am not so nauseous today and the room isn't spinning today so I could sit here and write. Remember when you were young and stupid and got so drunk as you lay on your bed the room would be spinning? 

That awful feeling is how I've felt for the last 3 weeks along with nausea or vomiting or lucky me both. 

I arrived in North Carolina 1.5 yrs ago only taking one pill a day. 

A thyroid pill.

I have never had indigestion in my life. Now it's constant.(should go away after this whole colon thing)

I had low blood pressure my whole life. Now it's high, they said that was from the chemo/steroids.

I moved here, and Betty grew to 3x its size. 

I had chemo/steroid hell for 6.5 months. 

Now, this. I have not been well since I crossed the state line!  

I don't think NC likes me much.

They believe this was brought on by the high dosage of steroids more than anything. The tummy pain I was having we all thought was from the oral chemo. The side effect is even stated in the literature as stomach pain. 

But it wasn't that. 

I had a fistula from my colon to the back of my vagina. I also had a flare-up of my diverticulitis. Because this is close to my bladder the infection traveled there and gave me a very bad UTI. Let's just pile it on Peg shall we?

My body couldn't fight the infections because I was immune compromised (as we hoped for my eye) so my body was not fighting the infections and I was just getting sicker by the day. 

Now fighting 3 infections and all those drugs were also giving me side effects but I couldn't stop them I had to get rid of it all. 

So to recap - steroids and chemo will #*!* you up!

Rick has a sister in California who just had the same operation just after Christmas. She only had the colon piece, not diverticulitis. She had all these symptoms and said there were days when she thought she was dying. Yep, been there. But she is doing great now. She is having no issues at all and all the pain and suffering for her is over. Fingers crossed it will be for me too. They take that piece out, sew it back together, and off you go. 

I did not know I had 6ft of colon, so my GI doc says.

Yes, I am leaving a lot out. There is so much more but I don't wish to bore the hell out of you. I just wanted to give you a quick overview.

I am alive and hanging in there. Tonight, doing fairly well, hell, I'm upright!

I have a wonderful nurse named Rick. 

He can be a bit overbearing but he means well. 

That man is so good to me! 

This week is jam packed with medical fun so I don't know if I will get to blog this week. If I am not hanging over a commode or the room isn't spinning then I will try to drop a line. 

Thank you for all the nice comments.

I hope you all are doing well.

Spring has sprung here and I hope it has in your neck of the woods.

🧡

Being Away

Hi Guys.

Look I leave a lot here but a lot I don't, believe it or not. I don’t wish to bore you with medical issues or have you say, geez not again, I just can't deal with that right now. 

I am far sicker than I let on and it's so much worse than just dizziness.

I am taking time away from here a bit. If something miraculous happens may be I'll be back in a week. 

Right now I do not have a timeline but hope it's sooner than later.

Poutine

Boy, 3 infections in your body will do a number on you. Whoa.

Saturday night I began to feel human again.

The 2 prominent drugs I had to take made me so damn nauseous. 

Then they gave me anti-nausea pills, making me so dizzy I walked like a drunk. 

The combo of drugs reminded me of 2 things, one, being seasick, and two, when in my 20s and got so drunk the room was spinning. 

Neither is a good feeling and that is how I have been 24 hrs a day for a week and I have 3.5 days left. But last night I was less nauseous. And today it's about the same. All be it better than it was but...

I am a sick cookie. Add the above to pain and you can see what a good time I'm having. I have some tests this week. Surgery will probably be mid-month. I will know more after Wednesday's colonoscopy.  

I'll tell ya, I'm having some fun.

I will share something that got me laughing which of late has not been happening as often. 

Rick was sharing a story with me. 

He is standing in front of me while I sit in his ugly chair. 

I hear something odd and I tilt my head like the RCA dog and then say, "What are you talking about I'm confused? I thought you were talking about cheese?"

"I am!" he says a bit pissy

I begin to laugh now realizing that he doesn't realize what he is saying and that to me is funny. But laughing only makes him pissier.

"Are you referring to Poutine, The Canadian delight of gravy and cheese curds on your french fries?"

"Yes yes, that is exactly what I mean, now you get it!  I think the drugs have affected you, Margaret." 

I laugh and say, "Your excuse then?  'Poutine', Richard, not Puttan, that's a whore in Italian slang. (Puttana is the origin) So when you kept saying Puttan (whore) in place of Poutine, the gravy, and cheese, can you see how I got confused?"

He was quietly standing there and not saying a thing. 

Hopefully, that didn't make him angry.

Then as he goes over this in his head he begins to howl with laughter.

He said, "OMG that is so something you'd do. Oh my God, I'm sorry. Yep, whore in place of cheese gravy fries are a big difference."

Ya think Rick?

Ode to a Menopausal Woman.

Ah, a little piddle while you giggle. 

We both were in our master bath getting ready for the day when Rick made me howl with laughter. I can not share but trust me it was damn funny!!

I was barely catching my breath when I said, "stop it, or I'll pee myself"  Without missing a beat he told me to sit on the toilet because he was about to say something funny.

Which of course, made me laugh all the more. 
Thankfully the toilet was nearby.

TMI Warning

Rick went to Costco Thursday for an eye exam. 

We were always pleased with our optometrist at the Costco we went to in Northern VA. 

He is the one who first found the mass on my retina that we all now know as the relentless bitch Betty.  

Rick sits at Duke waiting for 3-4 hours each time I have to go there for the mass on my eye. I owe him a ride to the optometrist. He assumed he would have to have his eyes dilated as well, so I get to repay him by driving him to Costco. But for me perusing Costco while he is getting his exam is hardly the difficult wait that he always has. While Rick was in for his exam I did shop and picked up a few things. 

I had already checked out when Rick texted, "where are you?" 

I was loading up the back of our car. Perfect timing.

He wants to try the Warby Parker in Raleigh for new glasses so we will be doing that next week. Our big social calendar these days.

The next day was Fun Day Friday, so we went to the Raleigh Home Show. 

We wanted ideas and contacts for the area. Because of our remodel, we were hoping to find vendors since we are unfamiliar with them here. The home shows we've been to in the past have been for your home inside and out. Patio, baths, kitchens, entertaining area of your home. Tile, flooring, all that stuff.   

We usually bought too much from these places and hoped to do the same this time. We got our bar set that we had at the lake house at one. We found a great tile setter from one. 

We saw that it was only $6 for us old folks so we went with great anticipation. Then boom. Bust. It was small. Mostly craft people. 

I thought it was more of a craft show with 1 contractor/remodeler/window installer etc per aisle. Not at all what we have been to before. It was interesting. Whoa, the aggressive salespeople, but it just wasn't the same. Oh well. 

Friday late afternoon when we got home from the show I was so tired. 

I've been tired a lot over the past year but because I am sick of being tired I move until I drop. Well, I came into the house and dropped. I was told I plopped down on the sofa and slept for 2 hrs. I woke up alarmed, it was dark out now. What the hell?

I went into the kitchen where Rick sits at the island eating his dinner. 

I told him I was just feeling off and really didn't feel like eating anything. 

I got some ice water and we sat and watched jeopardy. Normal night. 

I awoke at 3am to tummy pain. I got up and went into the bathroom to pee. 

Now the TMI - you've been warned.

I saw a bowl of red. Oh, brother now what?  Where is this coming from?  You are all reading this and shouting, "your bum you fool"  But HAH, you're wrong. You're also correct, I no longer have a uterus. Hmm.....now this is really leaving only 1 place left. I try not to panic. 

I tiptoe into my bedroom, no need to wake up Rick, and I grab clean clothes and my blow dryer. I go back to the hall bath and shower. Then to put it politely, do another exam of where this is coming from but there is none now.  Oh good! 

I went to the kitchen feeling lighter and thinking, see, no big deal, that was a fluke all that blood. But instead of coffee, I got water to make myself pee again to see if there is blood in my urine. 

You know, just to double-check to be sure so I can continue to let down my shoulders from my ears. 

I finally pee again, and nope, no blood anywhere, then the next one was a gush of blood.  Oh shit, that ain't good. I panicked.

I left Rick a note and drove myself to the ER.

Oh boy. Exams, gave a sample, CT Scans with contrast, more pokes, and asked a hundred times, does it hurt here? The wince didn't give it away?  

Hey, I'm snarky when sick. (I know that is a lie, I'm snarky all the time, so think snarkier then) 

I had a flare of my diverticulitis, UTI infection, and a fistula from my colon to my vagina where apparently it bumps my bladder and I have blood in my urine. Lovely eh? They thought the blood was the UTI infection or fistula. How can they not know I ask? They gave me mumbo jumbo which made no sense. I let it go, I need to get a doctor. They gave me antibiotics for 2 infections and an anti-nausea pill which is my favorite little helper. They gave me a list of doctors to see right away. This will be a surgery. yippee. What the hell kind of black medical cloud am I under these days?

I left Virginia feeling good. I took 1 pill a day for my thyroid. 

Sleep issues but not often. That was it. 

Then I get to North Carolina, Betty decides she likes it and triples in size, chemo, steroids, the effect of said drugs causing high blood pressure, tummy pain, barely sleeps, and now this.  

I'm tired of being sick and tired ya know? 

Anyhoo, when it was light out I knew Rick would be awake so I text him what was going on so he knew I was okay. I came home to a clean sparkling kitchen. The stove top was polished, he stripped the bed, AND made the bed with clean sheets and then wait for it...

HE WASHED THE SHEETS HE TOOK OFF THE BED, DRIED AND FOLDED THEM!

I'm sorry I made him worry but ya know, Worry Rick did a great job. 

I wish Worry Rick could turn into Share The Chores All The Time Rick!

I said to him when I saw all this, "working off some stress babe?"  

He just nodded. Yep, I get it.🧡

I'm sorry I did that to him but now I wanna know how I can get him to do that a lot more without having to go to the hospital. Hmm...

Any Ideas?

Why Must Everything Be Difficult?

Back in 2000, I got a very nice bonus in February. 

We were at a boat show over a weekend and we found the boat that Rick really wanted. 

We left the boat show without a boat. But I knew if we did not order a boat soon he would not have a boat for spring fishing so time was of the essence shall we say.

I contacted the boat company up in Maryland the next Monday morning.

I placed an order for my Big Guy for his boat. I was to receive my bonus by the end of the month. So in the meantime, I financed it, knowing that by the end of the month, I'd just pay it off with my bonus check.

The boat was financed by the company the boat company used, Deutsche Bank. 

It played out just like I said above. I financed it. Rick got a new boat and a nice surprise. I made one payment which paid it all off. We got the title and life went on.

We sold the boat just prior to moving here. They got the boat, trailer, and title. Just this weekend we were notified by the guy who bought it last year found that Deutsche Bank never released the lien to the DMV. When this guy was doing something regarding the title for the trailer he found this out.

So we spent the morning contacting Deutsche Bank. Rick called one locally and their response was, "so what do you want us to do about it?"  

Wow how nice. Rick had them on speaker so I heard it all. He mouthed something obscene to me regarding her and then just said out loud, "well okay thank you" and hung up. 

I wish he'd have said was he mouthed to me to her out loud!

He called the headquarters in Costa Mesa. They told us that Deutsche Financial Svs was out of business and they were having this all handled by a law firm. So now all the info has been sent to the law firm and we are waiting.

What a royal pain in the arse.

And the topper is that Rick signed the title on the wrong line and that is why we need a new form that got this ball rolling. 

Nothing is simple anymore. You may think it's simple but for some reason, someone or something with screw it up.

_______________________

We do not watch football in this house. 

We can't figure out how they even let us into the state of North Carolina being that we dislike football. It's all about football here. They even have high school football news. That is how small a town this is. 

When do you ever see high school games on the local news? 

Small towns where nothing else happens and in the south I suppose. 

So needless to say yesterday's big game day meant movies for us.

Because it was played during prime time it is automatically recorded on DISH and put into a prime time folder. That was perfect for us. We could watch Chris Stapleton kick ass on the national anthem. The best the national anthem has ever been done in my book at any sporting event, even better than Whitney's, well,  to us anyway and hers was damn fine.

We found it ridiculous to have the person who was signing the anthem not be on the TV. Could anyone see him in the audience from the field? Wouldn't it have been better to have the signing for the hearing impaired to see it on their TV screens? We found that so silly and a complete head-scratcher.

We did see a minute or two of the halftime show but we are not her audience so a tiny bit was enough for us. 

Then we FF through the football game to watch all the commercials. 

My favorite was The Farmers Dog.  That made us both cry.

A brown labrador aging who has made their life wonderful and vice versa. 

Add the fact that the 10th of Feb was the anniversary of Izzy's passing. 

So that hit us in the 'feels' big time.

Did you have a favorite commercial?

Yard Work.

Spring has sprung around these parts. 

Unlike last year when I was in the throes of all that chemo shit not much got done around here. But now it's time.

For the last couple of days, Rick and I have been clearing about a 70ft area (maybe a bit more) along our fence by our driveway.

The woman who owned this house before us loved her English garden look. To Rick and me it just always looks messy. Because she got sick with pancreatic cancer she was not tending to her gardens as you can well imagine.

They cleaned them up a bit to try to sell her house after she died but for the most part when we saw it we knew it was all coming out. Lots of butterfly bushes and just a jungle of stuff. It was 70ft long by 3ft wide I'd guess maybe 4ft. 

I did not measure it but Rick said 3 ft. So it's probably 3.5 ft. haha

Rick started first. He told me there was nothing I could do so let him do what he had to do. Okay - go for it I don't have to be told twice that I am not needed to work the shovel and pick ax or whatever that pointy thing was.

I would look out the window periodically to see how he was doing. I know him well enough to know he thinks he's 31 but he's almost 68. He has a bad shoulder and 1 awful knee. So I would look out there to be sure he wasn't overdoing it. Or worse, laying on the driveway.

I did not see him. Oh, dear. 

I went to the door and I could hear him singing at the top of his lungs and it made me laugh. Okay, he hasn't fallen over he must be behind his truck. But as I walked further out the door I saw him sitting on the steps resting and singing. He was wearing his headphones so he doesn't even realize how loud he was being. I touched his shoulder and he jumped. 

I said, "Okay Freddy Mercury, what are you doing?"

He tells me he was resting because he realizes he can't do this all in one day anymore.

Good! I'm glad you see that and are taking your time.

He got halfway done and called it a day. He came inside and sat down with a big ole glass of ice water. He was sweaty and drippy. He was sneezing, wheezing, blowing his nose, and coughing. Yes, spring is here. 

All that nature was getting his allergies going. 

Then when he got up from his chair he moaned. I laughed but not at him, I just knew he was hurting. I said remember when the moans in the house were of a different nature and not muscular pain. 

That made him laugh as he took a few Tylenol.

Then the 2nd day I could help. I cleaned up what he dug up and put it in piles and began to throw it in the wheel barrel. 

He wheeled it to the burn pile.

Then my job was to sweep up all the mess and then I used the leaf blower. We finished it all yesterday. Some of the roots were so difficult and some went under the fence into the other guy's yard. 

Rick was really using his muscles and we got what we could. 

We finished up and high five and came inside the house all dirty, sweaty, and sneezing. Well, Rick was sneezing. 

We took a shower and sat down. That was it. 

When I got up I was moaning like Rick. My hiney even hurt. 

When I was grabbing piles of debris I would squat and then come up with it in my arms and drop it in the wheel barrel. I think all those squats made my ass hurt. How pathetic right? But bending over all the time bothers me more so I thought squatting would be easier. And it was until later when my ass hurt. Then we old coots took our Tylenol with a wine chaser after dinner. 

We laughed at ourselves. We do remember when in our mid-30s how we would have done this in one day and then gone out that night. 

OMG those days are over, aren't they?🤣🤣

This morning I opened the back door and stood there with my coffee mug staring at the area we cleaned up. It looks so much better it's amazing. 

Now we are about to start with the nursey stuff and mulch. But if this area we just finished never gets plants this year I am so okay with it. It's now free of weeds with the landscape paper down and mulch over it so it looks neat and clean until we can get all the plants.  It takes such time to make a house YOUR home. It also takes a shit ton of money! And because of that we are doing things as we can. 

My priority would not be putting in a deck. 

Rick does not agree and as with most things, he wins. 

I would prefer ripping up this God-awful carpeting and fake gray floors.

Okay, hear me out - if your deck flooring is real wood and over the years it grays what is the first thing you do?  You power wash it so you can bring it back to its natural color.  So why would one put in fake GRAY wood floors? They look awful to me. Like they need power washing. It's horrible and fake looking. If you are going to use fake floors pick a color that looks like wood, not wood faded from years of exposure.  I loved my LVP flooring but it looked like wood.

Gee, I got off on a tangent there. I digress...

He plans on building us a deck later this spring. Now back when he built our old one up north it was 20x20. It took him a weekend. I think this may take a lot of weekends and it's a bit smaller. That's okay I'm in no hurry. I prefer him to stay in one piece. More important than the damn deck. 

While I can't dig those big holes, I can help brace the floor joists or whatever they are called. I helped with those before. Basically, I am in charge of keeping him cool, and hydrated and saying, 'atta boy' 

I have the easy job this time. Whew.

Good Ole Betty

You all remember Betty, that big fat bitch of a mass that is sitting on my retina? She apparently likes it there.

Bad enough I had to wait 38 minutes to get into my appointment but then the bad news. I had my eyes dilated, numbing drops, pressure taken of my eyes, photos with blinding colored lights, pictures where they tape my eyes open so I can't blink (that's fun) and let us not forget the easy part, reading the eye chart. 2.5 hrs of this fun stuff people! But good news my left eye is still 20/20. Apparently at my age that is really good. Who knew? Or maybe the tech said that to be nice. 

I feel most sorry for my husband who has to drive me because I can't see shit when they are done with me. It's all a blur.  While they are torturing me in the back he has to just sit there and wait. 

When Dr. S. and I got back to 'his' room we went over all the photos. 

I saw the areas where it was beginning to increase. I saw one that he never said anything about so I said nothing as his red line moved the image along. Then he went backward on the same photo and said okay, "see here, see here, and see here"  Shit he saw it too.

"Yes, I saw them all and I see the growth but it's hardly noticeable," I say to him with a tiny bit of a whine. 

He laughs and asks, "Yes, but did you notice it?"

"Yes", I say like a 5 yr old. 

Damn it I don't want a shot in my eye.

Then he went to another screen and showed me more. 

When all was said and done he felt that a shot in my eye was not necessary. YIPEE. But I'd have to take Humira. SHIT!

I know I have heard all the horror stories about the drug. I'm not thrilled.

But it must be approved by my insurance first so we shall see.

All of this sucks. I knew it. I could "feel' my eye and I have for a few weeks. That was my sign before. So I knew, but I was also hoping I was wrong.

We got out of Duke around 4:55p. Rick plugged in the address to Chopt and the goofball missed the exit. Then we couldn't turn around and we pulled into a parking lot laughing. Honestly, I can't wait until we can find our way around easier. We were up in Durham. We don't even live close. We know how to get to the one in Raleigh but we aren't very familiar with Durham at all. Only to get to Duke Eye Ctr. 

So Rick typed in Firebirds and it just was down the street from where we were so we ended up at my favorite place to have a salad anyway. We were happy it was so close. We go to the one in Raleigh but have never been to this one in Durham. The first place (chopt)  was like fast food. This is a restaurant so we got there around 5:20p and decided to have the early bird dinner up at the bar. We each had a drink and a fabulous salad and then drove home. 

So my eye situation is not great but it's been far worse.  I told him again, no more chemo or steroids. He said I know you say that now.  

He didn't add to that sentence so I let it go. But if I have a choice between being blind and chemo, then just kill me. 

Just let me die because both are equally awful.

I go back for a follow-up in 3 months, he wouldn't do 4 months this time. 

Oh, I tried. 😊

_______________________

I think I've reached this age too -

Spring-ish

Things around these parts are not the best but life goes on right? 

I've been MIA for a bit but I'm back for today anyway.

Well, it's not officially spring by the calendars but it's spring here.

That means daffodils rearing their heads. The weather is all over the place.

That is another definite sign of spring around here.

72 today, 44 on Thursday, then back in the 60s.  I remember this! Yipee.

Today I am going to Duke Eye Ctr to follow up on ole Betty. If she has grown then today I get a shot in my eye and receive Humira to continue at home. That is all I know. My eye has been 'off' shall we say.  

I have a feeling I am going to need that horrific shot.

The damn shot is still far better than chemo which has destroyed my body. As my primary doc said yesterday - "your body has been through hell. It can't recover in under a year. The other issues it gave you we will just have to monitor closely for the rest of your life." 

I told her to just know, if I get cancer, I'd prefer to die than have chemo again just so she knows I will refuse all chemo. 

She understood and said, "let's hope we don't have to deal with that scenario"

But as time goes on and the shit is piling up, I feel we may need to know. But in the meantime, I am in denial.

Rick knows I don't wear makeup on my eyes to go to the eye center. With all the drops, poking and prodding, and holding open for photos, etc I know enough to not wear anything on my eyes. Rick said he wanted to surprise me but knew if he took me to a restaurant with no makeup I'd have a fit. So he said, "let's go to that salad place you've talked about for so long for dinner after your eye appointment. I googled it and it's very close to Duke"  So the mascara is coming with me. And c'mon, he googled this and planned it without me. It's a win!!

I love salads. I mean I crave salads. People think I eat salads for diet reasons. Nope. Besides a salad does not necessarily have fewer calories. 

I just like salads more than the average person. If I had a choice between a burger and a salad I'd always choose a salad, even before I had celiac. 

Of course, my favorite salad is from Firebirds but there is a fast food concept called Chopt I've wanted to try. Have you been?

Looking over their menu I wish I could scream, no one likes kale, get rid of the kale. I know it's the "in" thing to eat but it's bitter and gross to me. Each salad I wanted was kale. Replace with anything and I'd eat it but I can't do kale, I've tried! I love most greens, collards, and kale not so much!

This concept was in the DC metro area but I never did go. So now I'm going. It's basically fast food only salads and I'm not cooking so there is that. I may not be able to read the menu when we get there so I went online and chose my salad now while I can see.

We've been taking turns cooking. Rick's meals are far better than mine. But yet he can't make a salad to save his life. Or make a bed, but that's another blog post.  😁

I made an Asian Chicken Salad the other day when my cousin was in town. She loves this so I made it for her quick lunch before she hit the road. 

Then gave her some in a container to take with her. I got a selfie of her on the turnpike getting gas and sitting there eating the rest of the salad. That made me laugh, it was to be for the next day she told me. Didn't make it back to her house in PA.

50 Times 2

 After Chemo I developed a lot of medical issues. Each time I see someone they say, "were you on chemo?" "Oh, chemo will erode your enamel." Oh chemo will constrict your blood vessels and age them"  
I've heard it all! 

So now I have high blood pressure which is so foreign to me. Having always had 110/60 my entire life this is a new one. 

I was given a drug that we will call L. 

L was 50mg and it was to be taken in the am and 50mg taken in the pm. (12 hrs apart I was told) I got this medication from my primary doctor but I knew I had to see someone else but at least I had this medication until I did get to see a new cardiologist.

Last week upon my first visit to my new cardiologist she said she was doubling up on my two meds towards the end of my visit. 

Now, one is for 12.5 mg and she called in 25 mg to be taken daily.

Okay, that makes sense since she said she was doubling my medication.

Then she called in the 'L' drug that I was taking as stated above.

When I picked up the medication it said it was indeed the drug 'L' and it was 100mg to be taken 1x daily.

Okay now everyone knows I am horrific at spelling and math but I really didn't think this added up.

50mg two times a day is 100mg

She gave me 100mg to take once a day.

How is that not the same?

So I ask Rick - "Am I completely math stupid? Does this make sense to everyone else but me? I mean 50 twice is 100. What am I missing?"

Rick tells me I am completely math illiterate but he sees it as the same thing too.

Then we discuss well maybe because I am taking it all at once?

We laugh, but, it's still only 100mg a day. What are we missing?

So I call my doctor's office and left a message. No one calls me back.

Then I go to 'my chart' and leave an email message.

A nurse got back to me and said she was going to discuss it with the doctor.

3 more days go by and no one gets back to me.

I called again and left a message on the nurse's voicemail and someone got back to me. He, the nurse, said that in their chart they showed I was taking the original 'L' prescription as 50mg once a day.

I explain that "I handed her my 3 bottles of medications so she could view them and it states clearly 50mg 2x a day."

He said well just keep taking this 100 mg daily.

I said, "I was to contact her at 4 weeks to tell her how the new meds were working. These are not new meds"

He again tells me to keep doing what I'm doing.

Fine. 

Does this make sense to anyone else?

Are any nurses out there?

I really think the dr. @!$# up and I'm paying the price once again.

Or do I need remedial math classes?

____________

In other news...

I love their chemistry.

The Old Man is Snoring

I know some of you got the mouth guard for those who snore due to sleep apnea. You all said it was working well.  Well, my husband bought one online and it bothered him after a while. It hurt. it moved his teeth.  

Then I saw an advert on Instagram or Facebook that changed our lives. 

I mentioned to my husband that there was a form where you can see if medicare will pay for a dental appliance that fits you completely, unlike the one from the drugstore or online.  He said, "oh it will never pay for it, I'll just use this.  When are you going to learn Margaret? Those are scams."

He just poo-pooed me. Ooh, I do not like being poo-pooed!

So I filled it out as my husband. But instead of using his phone number, I put mine in its place. When the nice woman called I told her I had to do this for my husband. I did not tell her why that was all I said. 

She laughed and said I wish I got paid by how often I hear that statement. 

We both laughed and we went to work. 

I gave her all of the info regarding Rick. His medicare, his medical info, his sleep apnea record. I sent the email with all the documentation. All I needed was his permission to move forward. I went out into the shop and told him what I did and told him they want to be sure you agree before we move forward and I handed him my phone. He gets on the phone with them. He agrees. 

The nice woman says, let me submit this. It can take a while for approval or no approval or you can wait on the phone. I said let's try waiting on the phone and if it's too long you can call me back. Will that work for you?

By the time I was done answering her, she got the answer.

It is covered 100% by medicare.

He was mailed the things needed to take an impression of his teeth, both upper and lower. Before he was to do this he was to have a zoom call with the dentist. An appointment was made because these impressions had to be perfect. He did have this call at the ungodly time of 8:00 AM. For those of us who retired 8:00a is a bit early to be presentable but thankfully only from the waist up.

After his call with the dentist, he made his impressions and sent them back in the paid envelope. And he waited. It took about 4 days more than Rick thought so again Mr. Cranky Pants was saying things like, "I told you too good to be true, this was a scam." 

I said, 'did you give them any money? did you give them a credit card?  did you give them any information other than your name address and phone number? NO, what are they scamming you for? Do they want your dental impressions? Going to be a Dateline Mystery?"

 I was laughing at him. He was being so ridiculous.

His new sleep apnea appliance arrived in the mail. 

nah nah, I said to him shaking the box in his face.  

He said, "Okay so far so good" 

He has a tool to tighten or loosen if necessary. He also got some instructions but they don't want him to touch or put this in just yet.

They advise once again to not do anything until you have your meeting with the dentist which is scheduled for 8:00AM again. 

Rick had his meeting and he asked questions and got it all worked out. 

No money passed hands. Just the dentist teaching him how this works. 

When he was done he put it in his mouth and said, "oh yeah this fills tight. This is gonna work."  

I told him I'd be the judge of that since he snores like crazy without it.

It works like a charm!!. He is more comfortable. (and I can sleep.)

We paid nothing. One thing you have to have is a sleep apnea test to show you need this medically. Thankfully Rick had just had one which is what started this whole thing. 

He knew he would never wear that machine on his face. 

Medicare also did not pay for it.

I knew I couldn't sleep with that noise. (I never told him that but I think he knew) 

So you see this had to work was my thoughts. And thankfully it did. 

Like a charm. 

If they had asked for money then I wouldn't have moved forward, it would have made me very skeptical.  But they never did. 

It was advertised as medicare pays for most of it or all of it. I had to try because the over-the-counter one he would take out in the middle of the night because it became too uncomfortable. Then the snoring began. 

The house moves I swear!

I suppose you can say we got lucky. 

But sometimes you have to just go for it.

Snake Plant

When we were selling our home in Northern VA our realtor had a stager come to our home. I asked what he thought the stager would be changing. He told me probably remove my sofa table. I found that odd. But I listened to his few suggestions and then he added, "well what do I know. She is an expert and she will walk you through it all and she will have  your home ready to sell." 

The stager set up an appointment and came to our home. The first thing she said was what a gorgeous home we had.  Yes, that was very nice and I figured she says that to everyone selling their homes. I'm not a fool.  I did not take this as a compliment to me as much as my builder, who actually won an award for the design of this home. She was just blowing smoke up my butt. I knew what she was doing but I wasn't paying her the realtor was paying her, so she didn't have to do this. 

As we walked every room and all 3 floors she told me there was nothing she would change. She asked if I was going to leave a picture that hung over my credenza in my office and I said no, it's going with me. She asked if she could buy it. I laughed and said, "no I like it a lot" (now I wish I had sold it, no room for it here)

As we stood around my kitchen island she said, "so I can say I did something, how about we make a vignette on the island. She grabbed my big butcher block cutting board, put a dish towel across it on the diagonal, and put a cookbook in a cookbook holder on the cutting board with a beautiful bottle of oil I had on the counter. 

She stepped back and admired her work and said, "that is all we need to do, your  home is just fine the way it is" 

At this point I am thinking, you are being paid for this crap? I want this job and get paid for nothing when a client has it done already.

Then she asked if I wanted a job. Did I just say that out loud?

I said I would LOVE to stage but I'm moving out of state. She again told me my home was very nice and I should do this for a living if I liked the idea. Hmm....I discuss with her that I have no degree in design. She asked who did my home. I said me. She said you know what you need to take away to sell. You know what to leave. Ah, but this is how I live, I did not stage my home for you. 

When I was flipping I did it all day every day because I loved it. 

I did not stage my home. So that ruins your theory. She said she would hire me on the spot to assist her. Boy, I loved that idea. I love design, and I read and watch this stuff ad nauseam, at least that is Rick's comment.

So that got me thinking. How about a job being a stager? Now that I am feeling better and getting out and about I have looked at part-time jobs with stagers. 

The money would be nice and I could get of the house.

I've called a few. Most of them here have 1 or 2 people doing this in a firm. Basically, they are all only the owner and 1 employee. I have not found a big company like the one that came to my house up north. I contacted my realtor and discussed it with him. He referred me to someone. I called but she has 1 employee and no need for another. One told me they were thinking of bringing on an intern but hadn't decided. I am assuming an intern does not get paid. 

So it's all small potatoes here. But since the market is changing stagers are used more, so it could change. I just thought maybe doing something I love like design/color/textiles etc. would be fun. It was a nice try. 

Sunday Rick and I hopped in the car and went to this place that shall remain nameless now. It's a plant store with a bar inside. The adverts were so misleading. It showed a two-story store filled with plants (house plants) and a place to buy and pot your own if you pick out a pot in one of their rooms filled with beautiful ornate planters to plain planters. 

We arrived at a full parking lot. We get inside and there is nothing much. A very minimal amount of houseplants. Lots of succulents. It was not overflowing with greenery.  

I wanted a snake plant. It doesn't require a lot of light and this house has no light so I thought that would be perfect. The small ones were $65.00. 

Their size was not much larger than a clipping.

I assumed this size to be $30 at the very top of the range due to its small size.  

The one Rick grabbed, which was the size I originally wanted, was over $150.  

No, this was too rich for my blood. I am not paying $150 for a snake plant. 

The shelves were not bare but sparse. We walked upstairs to the pottery room, plant food, some tables, and the bar. It was laid out nicely but the whole vibe was weird.

We saw the glass of wine the bartender poured for the patron and it was a sip. The cost was $20. We did not drink either. It just wasn't a comfortable place I can't explain it. I didn't want to sit here besides I can drink a whole bottle of wine at home for the same price. 

Normally when I go to a plant store or nursery, the folks are chill, bohemian-like, or hippie-like. They can't wait to talk about their plants. This was like a hedge fund guy running this. It was so not all back-to-nature type feel. 

It was incredibly odd and not welcoming. In fact, Rick said it was cold and he could never imagine a place filled with plants feeling cold but this did the trick.

He was on to something.

We walked the entire place and even attempted to ask a couple of questions, but no one was helpful and then we left. So we can cross this off our lists of things we wanted to see.  

Come March the plants will be brought back into the farmers market and I will go buy my plants from The Raleigh Farmers Market.

They are healthier looking, and far less expensive and that place brings me joy, joy, joy. I don't need a $20 sip of wine with my teeny tiny $65 snake plant.

Clueless

My husband has this awesome ability to not see himself.  

While looking at a photo from a wedding he asked who the bald guy was talking to Melanie's mom. I told him it was him. He about died.

He ran into the bathroom and looked at the back of his head. 

He saw the very thin spot. He seriously had no clue. No clue even though he's been told about it for years. Can you imagine if your stylist told you that your hair was so thin in the back you had an almost bald spot? Would you forget that? No, one would assume you may even fret about it needlessly or fret about it obsessively. Either way, normal people would not forget this tid bit of information.

How about when your stylist leaves your hair longer in that area and you asked me to cut it. You asked why they leave it so long in that area and I tell you they are trying to cover your bald spot. But he laughs as if I'm joking. 

Then when I began doing his hair since lockdown I tell him how thin it is and he laughs.  He really doesn't believe me. Then he sees a photo. 

Now he's in shock.

Honestly, he's exasperating.

His clothes don't fit so he gets bigger ones. He doesn't see this big belly he has amassed in retirement.  I say something about cutting back. 

He gets upset. So I did a bad wife thing. I took some pictures of him in the workshop. I showed him the pictures a few days later. 

He asked, "is my stomach really that big?"  

"Yes, I'm sorry it is."

"OMG!" is all he says.

Now he will diet. He will make an attempt and that usually last 2-3 days and he quits.  I don't understand him. It's not like I'm eating junk while he's dieting either. He just does what he wants in this area and won't listen to anyone.

I wish I could be as clueless as him. Gee going up to a size 40 waist and soon to be over, didn't give you a clue? All your jeans don't fit didn't offer up a hint? He can carry weight more than most due to his sheer size. Big broad shoulders and 6'2". BUT...

I want to be as clueless as a man some days.

Your Peanut Butter Box is Here!

My husband is amused by this stupid Chewy commercial.

I'm sure you've 'heard' it.

"Georgio, the Peanut Butter Box is here. The peanut butter box is here"

My husband now walks around saying this in the accent the dog uses. 

JC, It is very annoying. Very.  I told him if he didn't stop I'd give him a peanut butter treat that would make him go to sleep for a very long time, very long.

He just laughs. He thinks I'm joking. 

Keep it up joker boy and find out. 

In other news - 

My hair appointment for a consultation was a bust. 

It was Friday at 2:15p.

I got there 10 minutes early because I wasn't sure where it was and I'd rather be early than late. 

She is in a Salon Suites type cluster of offices. 

If you are unfamiliar - The stylist rents a 'room' and they have their own "shop" without the huge overhead. There are a ton of them in one building. Anyway, her door was locked and the lights were off. I sat in the hall on the bench waiting. Now it was time for my appt and she is still not in her studio. The man/barber across the hall has been chatting with me. He asked what time my appointment was scheduled. I told him 2:15. 

He looks at his watch and says it was 2:25p. 

Yep, I'll wait until 2:30p. He asks if this was my first time here. 

I reply yes it was. He made a face and said, "geez I'm sorry"  

He goes back to his studio, gets a bag of garbage, and takes his trash out. On his way back he said, "I just saw her and she went into the bathroom, she'll be right here" 

I say, "thank you" and I wait.

She comes around the corner and says in an oh-so-snippy snarky way, "hi, you're very early and I can't take you just yet."  No smile. Just cold as ice.

I said, "early? my appointment was 2:15p"  

She snaps, "No, no it was at 2:45p" 

No smile or politeness at all. 

This is how you speak to a prospective client? Really?

I look at my text from her. I automatically assumed I was wrong. 

I've been known to do that. I show her and say, "Stephanie my appointment was at 2pm and you texted me to ask me to come in at 2:15p if I wouldn't mind."  

She is fumbling with her phone and looks up shocked. I mean, her mouth was open for real like in a movie. She just stared at me for a minute and said nothing.

Now let me tell you how much her face changed from bitch face to omg egg on my face. She changes tones so fast it was shocking. 

She begins to apologize. She really thought her next appt (me) was at 2:45p. She walks into her studio and looks at her calendar and freaks out that everything is off from what she thought. Her whole afternoon is a cluster !@#$ right now. She is spazzing. Her client appointments are all messed up.

So apparently now I was squeezed in with someone knocking at the door. She had another appointment & I barely had enough time to discuss it. 

She just kept apologizing. Now, this would only be a consultation and no cut because of her mistake. I said, "we have all done it, it's okay. let's move on."  Okay, you messed up but let's do at least part of the appointment. 

She thanked me for not being a Karen but the whole thing was a cluster. Rick said it should have been my first sign that this was not for me. 

Then on the way home, there was traffic. I have never encountered traffic here since moving here 1 year ago. It took me 1.25 hr to get home. Took me 28 minutes to get there. There was an accident on I-40 so I was just sitting on the highway and not moving for a very long time. I had to pee too and even contemplated pulling over and peeing outside which I have never done in 66 yrs. I had to pee that badly.  But I just wiggled in my seat until I got home.

The traffic was strike 2 for me. I came home and talked to Rick about everything. He told me her being late he would have already left why did you stay? I stayed because I have been late before. Yes, but wouldn't you have texted the person? Yes, I would have but I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, driving maybe she can't text me, you know stuff like that.

He kept shaking his head. In her defense she didn't know she was late was my thought but I wasn't going to debate this with him.

Then I bitched about the traffic on the way home and maybe I don't want to go that far north every 6 weeks I whine. He began to belly laugh. 

"Margaret who are you? You have been here 1 year, 6 months of it in a coma, and you have A traffic situation once and you're complaining about traffic? How long did it take you to get to Tracey's with no traffic? Oh wait, was there ever no traffic up north? NO, and it was 10-12 miles and took an hour or more. Listen to you!!"

He's right and I hate when he's right. I did adjust to no traffic quickly didn't I? 

Then he adds, "I think this was just a sign. Someone is telling you to move on, so pay attention! I wouldn't wait for strike three it could be the haircut"

Ah, geez, he's right again. Too many things off. And when I asked her opinion about this or that she'd say, "whatever you want" NO, I told you upfront I want some opinions and choices and I don't get offended by anything you can say. I told her that so she'd be brutally honest. But...

So I'm trying someone else for another consultation. 😊

Here we go again. And I think I'll just cut it all off again.

I am always going to have short hair because I do not have the patience to grow out my short hair. This ugly frumpy stage is not good for anyone. '

You to view and me to wear!

Special Forces

Of late my husband and I don't seem to like a lot of the same television shows.
This is a new thing. But we have enough TVs that we don't have to worry about it, it's just a new thing over the last 2 years it seems.

I was going to read one evening and I curled up into the corner of the L-shaped sofa with my book and my blanket and I was all set. Rick came in to watch TV. I said go for it, I'm reading, it won't bother me/

He began to watch a program called Special Forces. I'd hear something and look up and before you know it I am asking him what the hell these people are doing. Well, fast forward a couple of weeks and I've seen every episode now. From the outside, it sure doesn't appeal to me. But then you get these people who are such wackadoodles it's hard to look away.

Special Forces is exactly what you think they are. 

Wikipedia says, "Special forces and special operations forces are military units trained to conduct special operations. NATO has defined special operations as "military activities conducted by specially designated, organized, selected, trained and equipped forces using unconventional techniques and modes of employment".

This is the synopsis of the show by the channel it airs on.

Selection for the Special Forces is a test unlike any other. Sixteen celebrities from all genres will take on, and try to survive, demanding training exercises led by Directing Staff (DS) agents, an elite team of ex-Special Forces operatives. In this unique series, the only way for these recruits to leave is to give up on their own accord, through failure or potential injury, or by force from the DS. Viewers will see the recruits face the harshest of environments that simulate the highly classified selection process, pushing themselves in the ultimate test of their physical, mental and emotional resilience – revealing the celebrities’ deepest and truest character. The 16 celebrity recruits include Danny Amendola, Mel B, Hannah Brown, Tyler Florence, Kate Gosselin, Dwight Howard, Montell Jordan, Gus Kenworthy, Nastia Liukin, Carli Lloyd, Beverley Mitchell, Kenya Moore, Mike Piazza, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Anthony Scaramucci and Jamie Lynn Spears.

Now here is what I found so interesting. The younger athletes all behave as though they have always gotten participation trophies because when they get yelled at it's not their fault, you're being mean to me. It makes me laugh.

Also, the dudes who say things like, I'm tough this can't break me. The one fella who said this was the first one to say, "Nope I'm outta here" on the first episode. That made me laugh too. The older athletes don't behave this way.

I find the personality struggles very interesting.

I've been very impressed with some women, most who's names I can't recall. But Mel B. (spice girls) was stronger than I ever thought.

Would you have thought she would be so tough? I didn't and I was wrong, but something triggered her in an episode and she was never the same. One of the women was something I would assume you'd see in a victorian movie, she got the vapors, or she is going to cry because it's hard. Stuff like that. Hasn't even done anything yet or knows what they are going to ask of her but it's hard and it's scary and she will burst into tears. Not just tears but the ole Ugly Cry. She was always crying and whining and I just wanted her to go home if she couldn't straighten up and fly right. I get it, I'd cry too sometimes, but if you saw this young woman you'd want to slap her to get a grip. I felt bad at first, but then I saw she was her own worst enemy. She got what she wanted when she behaved that way. So it works for her I suppose. But some of the women like Kate Gosselin from the reality show Kate+8. Well, she is just like you'd think she would be.

I could NEVER EVER do any of this. Heaven knows I am not saying I'd do better. Nope but then I would never apply to this show.

115 degrees and you want me to run? I don't think so!

Dangle from a Hi-wire? No!

Sinking a vehicle while I'm inside and I have to get out before I die? No F'ing Way EVER!!

So I'd be the person who would say, Here's my badge, I'm done, I'm a wussy and you can call me names. Not gonna do it. The first hour I'd be gone.

They are dropping like flies on the show as well. No one thus far has been asked to leave they have all left on their own accord because it was too tough or as the one kid said, "The Staff is not giving me respect." Yes, Special Force Staff is to give YOU respect.

Again, another participation trophy kid, you can spot them a mile away.

But the one who really got me. Using your kids. It's so hard, I've never been away this long. (bullshit, you're an actress, like you don't ever leave home to work?) So she wanted to leave because she missed her kids so badly. I would think she knew before she left that it would be 10 days away and she cracked in the first 8 hrs. C'mon, what did you think was going to happen? That kind of thing annoys me. If you know you'll miss your children, then don't sign up! Or miss them but do what you signed up for. It was an easy excuse to leave as far as I could see it.

Anyhow, I did finally finish my book but now Rick has got me watching this crazy stuff. Have you seen it?