Funnies at 3am

While in my black hole, I discovered something on YouTube at 3am.

Youtube, being an app on my TV, makes this so easy, too easy.

I came across a guy who mows lawns and does power washing. 

Now I must tell you, this is so therapeutic to watch. 

It's an OCD thing, I think. Or that is what my husband insists. He tells me no one else watches this stuff. Okay, but then how does he get millions of views then?  It relaxes me and I can get to sleep, but not before I see the finished product of course. 

Now this guy does this for free. Not nearly as good-looking as my lawn man, but for free, I'd sure love that part. Wish he would knock on my door. 

Another thing I discovered was a commercial.

Now it's in the wee hours of the morning, you must remember.

This commercial came on, and I don't know why, but I actually watched this commercial, which I don't normally do. 

OMG, I realized this was making fun of all the other Law Firm Ads.

I rewound it and hit record so Rick could see this when he woke up.

How many times has this come on, and we ignored it?

To us, it's funny as hell.

Have you all seen this?  

Four Seasons

***Sorry, I haven't been around. I'm in a bit of a black hole.  Slowly coming out of it, or so I hope. 

__________________

One of my favorite movies is Four Seasons. I even watched it a few months ago on Prime or some streaming service. I saw that it came out in 1981, so it's now a classic that is being remade. The original Four Seasons was written and directed by Alan Alda. The entire cast was perfect. 

I see where Tina Fey and Steve Carell have revised/updated The Four Seasons. I'll watch because I like the cast. I hope it's got the same heart as the first movie, but after 44 years, it will be 180 degrees different I'm sure.

I like the new cast, and I know I'll watch it, but it's messing with my classic. 

During that same time frame, Alan Alda made a movie called Same Time, Next Year. I really loved that movie too. 

I tend to like movies where there aren't guns and violence. No men flying with capes or damsels in distress. Just movies about people. People talking and not grunting from being pummeled. Yet nothing makes me happier than a big ole crime show like Dateline and 48 hrs.  Yes, the husband did it. :-)

Can you tell I've seen too many of Rick's movies of late?  Oh goodness gracious me. I hate what he likes. Found is a TV show that, to me, is dumb as hell. He's in prison, he's out of prison, he's caught again. Come on. 

I am not a fan of the movies he likes either. Once at the movie theater, we bought our popcorn and went to different theaters. I had a friend who was so upset by this. I told her, I'm not divorcing him, we're just watching different movies. 

I walked out of Private Ryan, I mean if your eyes are closed what is the point? I sat in the lobby with other women who did the same as me. There were as many wives, girlfriends, dates etc in the lobby as in the theater. 

We had our own little party in the lobby.

Because Rick is here now underfoot 24/7, oh wait, that's called retirement.

I am prone to watch more of his TV. I read or I play a game that I am entirely addicted to on my phone. 

(I think there is a 12-step program in my future for this issue.)

So as he watches all the stuff he likes, I do other things. 

I have even been known to watch another TV. ha ha.

But to make it fair, he has to watch baseball, and he's not allowed to root for the opposing team. :-) 

It's a rule that had to be made after an ugly 1995 playoff game in Seattle. 

In other news since I've been gone.

I am feeling so much better physically that I am doing things that have been neglected for awhile, like cleaning out my fridge. Hate that job but it needed to be done. Then I cleaned out all the bottom cabinets. 

When I got sick of indoor chores I went outside. What normally would be a 1 day affair took me a couple of weekends. The pollen was too much for 1 day.  Everything was power washed. God I love power washing it's so therapeutic to me. So all the furniture, gazebo and all furniture as well as the patio is now clean and ready for the season. 

Then back inside to clean floors.

Then back outside, but on the front porch this time. 

The outside looks so much better. The lawn boy was here after all my work, and he just makes everything look so nice. Rick thinks its cute how he flirts with me. 

I asked him, "And how were you with older women when you were his age?"  

"Oh, I flirt with all women." 

"Exactly, and you still do, he is just like you, Rick!"

"Oh no!"  

"Oh yes, he's harmless. Besides, I gave him cookies once, so he is nice now, probably hoping for more food."

Then I winked at him and that made him howl with laughter. I mean c'mon, I am no longer being flirted with, sadly.  Those days are long gone.

Men get flirted with forever, no matter the age. Women, not so much. 

Funny how when I was 23, 33 or 43, I hated men always staring at me, following me, and harassing me. 

Now I am invisible. Not so fun. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Mean As A Snake

Yes, my husband sent me this. Ok, I am this. But mean?

I said, "mean? I'm not mean."

Rick: huh!

Me: give me an example mister of me being mean.

Rick: you called me an asshole the other day.

Me: yeah. And were you being one? 

Rick:  (laughing) well, that's besides the point. It's mean to call your loving husband an asshole.

Me: omg you can't even say that without laughing.

Summer Water

The $@!* tariffs are ruining my summer drinking.

I mean we (usa) are on the brink of collapse and I won't be able to drown my sorrows.

What is referred to in our house as 'Peg's summer water' is now going to be too expensive to drink due to these dumb ass tariffs.

Of all the times for liquor and food to be unaffordable is when we as a country are going down. Those are the first things Americans go for in times of stress, liquor and food.

I drink a lot of California red wine but also a lot of other counties like Italy, Portugal,etc.but probably not anymore. 

Come summer time I prefer something lighter. 

My favorite is a French Rosé called Whispering Angel.

It's dry, crisp and refreshing.

I picked up a bottle Thursday while at the grocery store. My husband said to "just use a credit card and buy a case before the price goes up."

First of all no credit cards are being used for liquor for heaven's sake. Can't afford it? Don't need it, is my theory. But, I know come July sitting on the patio I'll wish I had it. 

Damn trump is fucking me over every which way he can.

My Lawn

We are having an issue with carpenter bees.

Oh my. We can't figure out why, either. All the wood on the patio is treated. They don't like treated wood, or so we thought. 

We saw on Neighborhood that others are dealing with it too. Some of the remedies they are trying were making us laugh. But we can't be outside without these buzzers bothering us. Rick's remedy was a carpenter bee trap. I was surprised there was such a thing for this.

Sure enough, it works, and it has caught a lot, but that makes me feel bad.

Rick says I am a weirdo. I don't want them to bother me, but I don't want to kill them. 

Yes, that's what I said, Rick. Why is that weird?

But now, if I sit on the patio, there are only like 2 or 3 swarming around me. 

Our exterminator came as he does, beginning in spring. He said they can not spray for bees because they are pollinators. 

I wonder if the bees and the shit ton of pollen are in this thing together.

Our dog had allergies. I think it may have been a good thing she passed before she got a spring here. She'd be so miserable right now.

So basically what I am saying to you is that there are only a few weeks of good weather here.

A few weeks in Fall and right after pollen season, before the humidity turns to 90% with temps in the high 90s, which is all of a week or two.

Tomorrow is hunky lawn man day.

Tony is our lawn guy. Tony used to be a firefighter.

Now retired (but he looks all of 45 at the very oldest) he does lawn service in the spring/summer/fall. Tony is tall (yes, I love 'em tall) and he is big and built and dark and handsome and when he talks girls melt. 

I said that above line to Rick and he about peed himself. No, doesn't work for ya Ricky? He does have an ever so slight accent but he's a flirt and a charmer and its working for me I told Rick. 

In Sept, when it was 101 degrees and he was out there in a wet t-shirt, I asked Rick why he doesn't just take it off. 

Maybe he's fat, Rick says, or he has a third nipple. 

Rick was making all kinds of suggestions, making me laugh.

But then, lo and behold, he did take off his shirt. Oh my.

If he had a 3rd nipple, I couldn't see it and didn't much care. 

Rick's only comment after seeing him shirtless was, "I'm sure he has a shitty personality or he voted for trump"

God love Rick; he was trying to make him ugly to me.

So, Mr Lawn Hunk, will be here tomorrow.

I may have to have some lemonade and sit a spell on my front porch and watch the scenery.

Where You Been?

For a girl who doesn't have allergies I'm sure suffering.

I've been sneezing, wheezing, dealing with very sore throat, plugged ears and a head that feels like it's the size of a basketball. But just in case the powers that be think it's not enough, they added drippy nose and itchy eyes.

Dayquil, Allegra, Flonase, Claritin. If I want to be completely out of misery I can take a benadryl. That could make sleep through a tornado.

Rick, on the other hand, has allergies so he starts his meds in Feb to build up for this. He's not doing too badly right now.

Sunday we did a 2nd round of power washing of the patio and it's furniture. One carpet under our table changed colors in a huge way. Rick said and I quote, "Holy shit it's a different color!"

Yes, pollen down here does that. 

We got almost all of it done but both of us were tired and we thought we'd finish Monday.

Thankfully it was a soaking rain day. Yippee. We need the rain badly. 

For the drought and the pollen. 

I was to have a hearing test Monday. But I feel like my ears are clogged so I called the drs office. She laughed and told me it wasn't a stupid question as I had asked. She said it would be best if I waited until this passes. Hopefully soon. She chatted a bit and told me she never had allergies until she moved her. She was from VA. I told her I was too and I said, "I'm guessing northern VA."

"Why do you assume that?"

"Because you're friendly and professional"

"Well, I fooled you then"

"I'm from Alexandria"

"I knew it"

I can always tell. She answered the phone with a smile, she listened, gave options and was not short with me. Can't ask for much more. 

In other fun news I had to hire someone to do my weeding and mulching for me. 45 bags of mulch. I bought everything and tried but not in the cards yet. Besides the 'man' was yelling at me because I was told not to do this. 

Fine!  I called a few guys and I had it done on Saturday. It looks so much better. Now the lawn hunk comes Wednesday. 

Can you say condo?

If retiring, do not buy an acre of land. Too much work! Listen to your wife and get a condo