Rick and I have always volunteered.
When we lived in PA we did work at the city mission.
It drove us a bit crazy when the holidays rolled around and we were feeding folks their Thanksgiving dinner and the local mayor would come in with the TV news crew and shake hands. Smile for the camera and then be out of there. She never did a damn thing. But it made the news and the paper and boy wasn't she wonderful.
I used to laugh because Rick just loved cooking there because you made everything in what I call Vat size. You see Rick can't cook for 2. He makes soup and you would think my community was invited to dinner. So the first time we were there and they offered him to make something (sorry I forget what) and the pot was gigantic I laughed. His eyes were so big and he was like a kid at Christmas. When the instructions were done, I walked over to him and before I could say a word he said, "This is heaven, did you see the size of that pot?"
That man makes me laugh. Making a vat of soup or stuffing was orgasmic to the damn fool.
After we served lunch or dinner we could eat ourselves. Rick and I always sat with the guests. The other volunteers usually ate with one another. We met some of the most interesting people. One couple I will never ever forget. They were probably my age now. You could tell they didn't have a drinking or drug problem. They didn't fit in. It was Thanksgiving and we asked if we could sit with them. Rick and the gentleman got to talking and he asked, how did you get here? The gentleman explained how he was downsized in his 50's (who knew we'd get to know this story so well)
He was an engineer. His wife was a homemaker. He told us how after being downsized no one would hire him due to his age (oh we now this story too) He did odd jobs, went through their savings and lost his house, and was living out of their car. Their grown children live out of state. They couldn't bear to ask them for help. He said they don't know how long they can do this but they keep trying to find something. They were working at a McDonalds and while that wasn't enough to get them an apartment they were doing what they had to do. It got them gas to keep warm in their car and to sometimes get to a place with a bathroom to clean themselves. How sad is that? But for the grace of God go I.
You could see the pride this man and woman had. You could see they just had some bad luck. Rick and I think of them often and wonder how it worked out for them. We never saw them again after Thanksgiving. That doesn't mean they didn't go for a warm meal but we never saw them again.
During that time I was also in Big Brothers /Big Sisters which I have written plenty about here. Probably one of most depressing and rewarding experience of my life. I think of this little girl so often and what may have become of her. When I moved west all of my letters came back undeliverable. I do not know what happened to her.
When we moved west it was harder. They gave us a lot of pushback. We went to their city mission but called something else and it was unsettling to them that we weren't from Seattle. How weird was that? Why did that matter? But that was our whole experience while living in Seattle. (They hate outsiders and if you live there 20 years you are an outsider. We found them to be cold people)
We were told someone would get back to us. No one ever did.
We gave up on them.
We tried a few things and were met with what we called, 'the uglies'
We thought we want to give of our time and sometimes money, why would you refuse that?
Rick had applied to work with Habitat for Humanity when we moved here and he was an executive. He needed to move beyond his damn desk chair he said and why not do something beneficial to others.
He tried to reach a human for over a year in various ways. Met a man at a function we attended and he asked him, he told us it isn't easy but he would have someone call him. Maybe he saw an executive that sat behind a desk all day and figured he knew nothing of construction. But Rick did tell him his background and his skills and nothing was said that implied it wasn't enough. After the first year of calls, emails, etc he gave up. Rick uses the Re-Store which is Habitat for Humanity and when he would go in he will just ask if anyone there can help. Always a big no.
I worked at The Women's Center in a city nearby me currently.
I volunteered my time there for several years. I did a plethora of things.
Sometimes I would do nothing more than being at one of the free classes held for women and help them hand out the paperwork, brochures etc. I would help the person who was also volunteering their time teaching the class.
The women who attended this facility were from all walks of life. I met a lot of divorced women with children who would attend the class on divorce 101.
Yes, that was the actual name of the class. It dealt with the issue of the ex and the children, finances, living alone for the first time etc. It usually involved several instructors, finance, a counselor, and even realtors and a few others that escape me now.
The center offered counseling, financial help via classes, career help with resumes and interviewing. I must say I enjoyed this one because it was interesting classes for me even if I wasn't divorced, or wasn't in a domestic violence situation. Everything is a learning experience and I got a boatload there.
There was a man who taught there often and I worked with him a few times. I found that he would help some of these folks after class personally one on one. One time he asked me to stay because she was so young and it could look like a bad situation when it wasn't. So I stayed and went to the back of the room while they talked about her financial situation upfront out of ear shot. I know this woman was helped a great deal by him because the following year I saw her and she even looked different. Happy, healthy and just well. I said hello, I haven't seen you in awhile. She said that Mr. X has helped her tremendously as everyone there had and she was doing great. She talked about her new life and then just hugged me. It just warms your heart to see the difference this place made in women's and children's lives. (yes, the counseling was for their children as well)
My travel schedule with my job at that time made it difficult for me to continue when they expanded my territory beyond NYC by adding the Midwest.
It made it impossible for me to be in town on a weeknight on a regular basis.
So I had to walk away. I did some Saturdays for awhile but the classes weren't as frequent. They really want you to be a regular for the women who generally have nothing constant in their life other than turmoil. Because I couldn't do this I had to walk away. Now I can't because I work so much at keeping a roof over my own head.
I did some work for Dress for Success locally as well. But they closed the office and there is only one now in the area and that is in the District. Can't get there easily or quickly with the hours I hold at my office. So that is out.
I would love to do more volunteering. I find it is more beneficial to the volunteer more often than those you are helping. Volunteering to me is selfish because I get so much out of it and it makes me feel good.
I asked a woman recently at a neighborhood function when people were talking about volunteering for political things if she volunteers anywhere because I am looking. She said and I quote, "This isn't the 60's" and laughed.
Well, check that wench off my list of becoming friends with, not that we were, but just in case. 😃
Rick made me laugh yesterday because he said after listening to me on the phone I should train in customer service. I told him that would be great but try to find a company that thinks that is important. Yes, there are none.
Do you volunteer your time anywhere? What do you like about it?
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Random Thoughts for Tuesday
I read that Tom Hanks is going to play Mr. Rogers. I think I like that casting.
I was too old to watch him but I had a slew of younger sisters that did.
My sister Stephanie would sit there so quietly and watch him so intently.
I didn't get it. I was 15 when I first saw this show and it would put me to sleep. I was more of a Sesame Street gal at 15. I understood Sesame Streets appeal.
As an adult, I understand Mr. Rogers so much more. I also understand why my new mom loved it that Stephanie sat quietly and learned for a short period of time. I just think Tom can do this man justice. Should be interesting.
___________________
Rick and I did not watch the Grammys. It is automatically recorded on Prime Time on Dish so we figured we may FF through to see what we liked. It wasn't much. We are not their demographic. We enjoyed the hell out of Pink. She stood and sang an emotional song and instead of flying through the air, we could see her face and the pain of the song. It was beautiful.
We enjoyed John Batiste and Gary Clark Jr.'s tribute to Fats Domino and Chuck Berry. I love Gary Clark Jr. He is a beautiful throwback.
The next thing that moved us was Keisha's powerful song. Knowing what that young girl has been through for the last 8 years or longer made it all the more moving.
We also enjoyed this clip. It doesn't show it here, but he started by saying that you may not know it but you don't always need to be a singer to win a Grammy. There are honors for best-spoken word album that have gone to the worlds most inspiring voices. Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama all won them.
We know our current president does love winning awards, he may just be the subject at next years Grammys. But who will be his narrator? Then this clip was shown.
I was too old to watch him but I had a slew of younger sisters that did.
My sister Stephanie would sit there so quietly and watch him so intently.
I didn't get it. I was 15 when I first saw this show and it would put me to sleep. I was more of a Sesame Street gal at 15. I understood Sesame Streets appeal.
As an adult, I understand Mr. Rogers so much more. I also understand why my new mom loved it that Stephanie sat quietly and learned for a short period of time. I just think Tom can do this man justice. Should be interesting.
___________________
Rick and I did not watch the Grammys. It is automatically recorded on Prime Time on Dish so we figured we may FF through to see what we liked. It wasn't much. We are not their demographic. We enjoyed the hell out of Pink. She stood and sang an emotional song and instead of flying through the air, we could see her face and the pain of the song. It was beautiful.
We enjoyed John Batiste and Gary Clark Jr.'s tribute to Fats Domino and Chuck Berry. I love Gary Clark Jr. He is a beautiful throwback.
The next thing that moved us was Keisha's powerful song. Knowing what that young girl has been through for the last 8 years or longer made it all the more moving.
We also enjoyed this clip. It doesn't show it here, but he started by saying that you may not know it but you don't always need to be a singer to win a Grammy. There are honors for best-spoken word album that have gone to the worlds most inspiring voices. Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama all won them.
We know our current president does love winning awards, he may just be the subject at next years Grammys. But who will be his narrator? Then this clip was shown.
Monday, January 29, 2018
Impatient Me
I watch people do the same thing over and over again getting the same results and then crying that nothing works. You want to help them but they really don't want the help.
I have watched people say this and that shouldn't happen to them but to the rest of us we see clearly how this is happening to them and why.
I also know this group doesn't want to be told to consider something different because it only makes them angry at you, not themselves. I've seen that first hand. So you best keep your mouth shut. You can't love them or like them enough, they have to figure it out themselves.
I have seen this in all of my professional life and my personal life.
Now here I am looking at the quagmire we are in and ask, what could we have done differently? How can we make lemonade out of these lemons?
I have asked and discussed with others and all the suggestions and options we have done and tried. I want to try something different, it may even be scary but opportunity lies in difficulty and if you can work through it you will normally come out on the right side. I am not afraid of the hard work. Most people don't want the difficult, they want the easy way. Who doesn't? But it just isn't how it works. I can work through the difficult if it is something we haven't tired you know?
I am not a person who repeats a mistake. I remember going to counseling alone after my divorce when I was 27. I learned a lot. It was one of the most helpful things I ever did for myself. You can't have pride and worry about what others think. You start from zero and build up again. I did the work. I cried a lot. I was miserable a great deal. But it worked as I did the work.
I also had a lot of time to be alone to reflect. To see how I wanted to do things differently. I worked on me alone. I was not in a relationship for a good amount of time. I remember wishing I were but so damn glad now that I had that time or I would have never gotten to where I needed to be. Divine intervention perhaps? I devoted my time to me, my friends and my family. The counselor was right, it worked. I came out the other side, went back to school, got the job of my dreams and was more successful than I ever thought I could be.
I know this much about right now - this too shall pass in time.
I am just impatient. Or should I say 'in-patient'...because that how it feels most days. As the song goes, the sun will come out tomorrow. 😏
I have watched people say this and that shouldn't happen to them but to the rest of us we see clearly how this is happening to them and why.
I also know this group doesn't want to be told to consider something different because it only makes them angry at you, not themselves. I've seen that first hand. So you best keep your mouth shut. You can't love them or like them enough, they have to figure it out themselves.
I have seen this in all of my professional life and my personal life.
Now here I am looking at the quagmire we are in and ask, what could we have done differently? How can we make lemonade out of these lemons?
I have asked and discussed with others and all the suggestions and options we have done and tried. I want to try something different, it may even be scary but opportunity lies in difficulty and if you can work through it you will normally come out on the right side. I am not afraid of the hard work. Most people don't want the difficult, they want the easy way. Who doesn't? But it just isn't how it works. I can work through the difficult if it is something we haven't tired you know?
I am not a person who repeats a mistake. I remember going to counseling alone after my divorce when I was 27. I learned a lot. It was one of the most helpful things I ever did for myself. You can't have pride and worry about what others think. You start from zero and build up again. I did the work. I cried a lot. I was miserable a great deal. But it worked as I did the work.
I also had a lot of time to be alone to reflect. To see how I wanted to do things differently. I worked on me alone. I was not in a relationship for a good amount of time. I remember wishing I were but so damn glad now that I had that time or I would have never gotten to where I needed to be. Divine intervention perhaps? I devoted my time to me, my friends and my family. The counselor was right, it worked. I came out the other side, went back to school, got the job of my dreams and was more successful than I ever thought I could be.
I know this much about right now - this too shall pass in time.
I am just impatient. Or should I say 'in-patient'...because that how it feels most days. As the song goes, the sun will come out tomorrow. 😏
Friday, January 26, 2018
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Never ask What Else Can Happen.
It's only Thursday and I have had to deal with firing Gary and all the work that comes with this, a customer who was so awful that when the refund was 666 I thought it was appropriate, a dog who took out some of her own stitches and made her vet unhappy, dealing with interviewing and finding skilled workers who speak English and actually want to work, and then I take a fall down a flight of stairs and jam my knee.
I think I could be a country music song - you'll see why.
Let's start with the crazy client.
We were hired by a big local contractor.
This contractor was hired to repair/remodel a home for 2 older folks who set their house on fire accidentally. The contractor warned us she was difficult and it has been a very trying year.
When he called me he prefaced our conversation with, I know these are odd requests but she wants what she wants and she can be difficult. I hope you can help me.
The word difficult isn't strong enough for this old bat.
She had all new fixture in her remodeled bathrooms. A new white bathtub, a new white toilet, a new white sink. She hated it all. She wanted them to be harvest gold and red. Yes, colors from the 70's. He tried to talk her out of it to no avail.
Because you can't buy a harvest gold toilet and tub any longer and for damn good reason, he asked us to refinish them in those colors.
Rick met the contractor and the homeowner. Rick said to me that she was evil mean. I knew what he meant. They walked through each bathroom.
Bathroom 1 was to have a tub, toilet and sink in red. Rick told them we don't do toilets and the reason why. She began to scream, not raise her voice but scream she didn't care that is what she wants. Rick compromised and said I can do the outside but the inside can't be done it will just begin to peel with standing water and that will look horrendous. She could apparently live with that.
In Bathroom 2 it was to be a toilet and tub in harvest gold.
She picked these colors from the Sherwin Williams color wheel and then we had to have the chemical company match the colors she requested. She agreed to the special order fee and off we go.
Rick arrived on Monday morning at 8am. He asked her to walk through the bathrooms with him. He took his work order and repeated all that was being done. Bath 1, tub, sink and toilet in red is that correct. She said Yes. Haven't we been over this before? Rick explained I just want to be sure nothing has changed because it has been over 2 months since I was here last. Sometimes your contractor makes changes. They moved to bath 2, tub and toilet in harvest gold.
She said Yes, correct, can I go now?
Rick finished and asked the homeowner to come in to view. She liked the harvest gold and we know that because she said, "Well you did what I told you to do, do you want a medal?" No, I would like you to look everything over to be sure you are happy before I leave. She waved a hand and said the flippant word whatever and moved to the other bathroom. Then the screaming began. I DID NOT WANT THE TOILET IN RED YOU DUMB ASS. OH MY GOD HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. YOUR MAMA MADE A MORON. (Rick chuckled at that one) When Rick reminded her that they did the walkthrough and she agreed her response was, "YOU ASSHOLE I NEVER SAID THAT WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT THIS RED?" Rick put his hand in front of her face and said, "walk away and don't ever speak to me like this again or I will not make this right"
Her husband is mild meek little hunched over kind of man who looked at Rick and shrugged his shoulders. She walked away as did her little husband. But she was screaming the whole time.
Rick called the contractor. The contractors first words were, "See what I have been dealing with for the better part of a year?"
Rick said, Can we get her another toilet? I will pay for it. I didn't see why we had to do this but we do a lot of work for this contractor and we are making him look bad too. Rick felt it was the best thing to do after their conversations. I wasn't there but speaking to her on the phone was enough.
So we paid for a new toilet and the plumber to reinstall new toilet and deducted that from what they owed us. Rick told the contractor that he will never ever go back out there (way out in the country) and she has no warranty. He will not work for her ever again. The contractor said he understood and he was okay with that. He thanked us and on we went.
Now can you believe this old bat was close to 80? Her husband was 80 and the contractor said she mentioned something about wanting this done before her 78th birthday. I was a bit shocked that she was this old and yet spoke the way she did to Rick. We hope to be paid today after the contractor has the new toilet installed. We received the copy of the bill for the toilet and the plumber so as soon as everything is in place we get paid. As I said earlier the amount came to 666.02 and I said to Rick that I felt that number was very appropriate for this mean lady. 666 and satan seem about right to me.
This job was crazy from beginning to end.
_____________
Izzy methodically will remove stitches from a football and that will amuse her for hours. She does this so well that she doesn't rip the football, just takes out stitch by stitch. Surgically. We have watched her and we find it amazing.
The other night we heard her before we saw her doing the same thing on her front leg stitches. We stopped her. I actually had to rub some lemon on my hands and then rubbed my hand all around that area. ( No, I didn't put it on there, I'm not that mean.) She hates that smell and then doesn't touch them until it wears off of course.
Yesterday when we got her to the vet Rick told him he thinks she got the stitches pretty much off last night from her lump on her front leg.I woke up hearing her and made her stop.
He looked at it and Oh my God she did this without any skin irritation or hair removal. What did she do this with? Rick said, "her teeth. You should see her do this to a football." The vet called in a vet tech to show her. They found it funny and said, she did as good a job as I would do.
2 more weeks before she can do the stairs and we all get sleep in the bedroom. Yipee.
_____________________
Speaking of stairs.
We have something blocking the stairs so Izzy doesn't try to climb.
I was coming downstairs from my office around 5:30p. Rick was home and he was on the floor playing with Izzy. I had on socks. I never wear socks in the house. I am barefoot, socks cause me to slip and slide on the carpeted steps. When I am on the first floor where there is all hardwoods I wear my slippers.
So something we have known would happen for the last 18 years is that this klutzy woman would take a tumble. Rick did in year 2. It was inevitable.
I tried to put my foot in between these things on the steps, my heel slipped and I took a tumble and landed on the hardwoods (over concrete) with my right foot. It would have been better if I had tucked and rolled.
But I landed hard on my right leg.
My right foot came down so hard it jammed my knee. It was like when you stove a finger only my knee. I went down. I laid there and I knew immediately this was a hot mess. I got up. My knee felt swollen instantly but in the back of my knee and inside. Oh my God the pain. Rick was there to help me up.
I hobbled to the sofa. I iced it, I then put on heat. The heat felt better but I could not walk well. Rick fetched my crutches. The longer I sit, the worse it is. So I was hobbling around the first floor to keep it loose.
I have to admit that when I was falling and then landed upright that was pretty remarkable. Rick said after he knew I was okay, "Babe you really nailed that landing" That made me laugh and I needed it right then. Thank God for Rick who makes me laugh all the time. Laughter sure helps a lot of life's ills.
Looks like Izzy and I both need to sleep downstairs due to stairs.
This morning I am not a lot better. I was going to go to Urgent Care but they really can't tell anything by an X-Ray, can they? I really feel that I jammed it and it will be better in a week or so. Right now I can not fully extend my leg without pain. Now my husband is going to be certain I do these things so I can see my Dr. Tall Tan and Gorgeous who fixed my shoulder and my other knee. Geez.
_______________________
Interviewing and/or finding people that want to work full time and can communicate is troublesome. The labor pool is all Mexicans and not one could communicate enough to answer our questions so how could they work with a client on all the details?
A candidate that applied then told us that working 35-40 hours was a lot would we be interested in 20 hours because he has a lot of hobbies.
Yes, his exact words to us. It did make us laugh.
The last time we went through all of this Rick offered to pay for English classes if a young man was willing because he was a good candidate but he couldn't be alone with a client we would have to have Gary or Rick with him to speak with the customers. That is not cost effective. He said he was unwilling to even if we paid for it because he would have to go to classes 2 times a week and he didn't want to do this on his own time. (classes were 1.5 hrs 2x a week)
So he chose not to work here. Yes, that is our hiring pool.
Having a good week though, I am not dead yet. 😀
But I do think I'd make a great country music song.
I think I could be a country music song - you'll see why.
Let's start with the crazy client.
We were hired by a big local contractor.
This contractor was hired to repair/remodel a home for 2 older folks who set their house on fire accidentally. The contractor warned us she was difficult and it has been a very trying year.
When he called me he prefaced our conversation with, I know these are odd requests but she wants what she wants and she can be difficult. I hope you can help me.
The word difficult isn't strong enough for this old bat.
She had all new fixture in her remodeled bathrooms. A new white bathtub, a new white toilet, a new white sink. She hated it all. She wanted them to be harvest gold and red. Yes, colors from the 70's. He tried to talk her out of it to no avail.
Because you can't buy a harvest gold toilet and tub any longer and for damn good reason, he asked us to refinish them in those colors.
Rick met the contractor and the homeowner. Rick said to me that she was evil mean. I knew what he meant. They walked through each bathroom.
Bathroom 1 was to have a tub, toilet and sink in red. Rick told them we don't do toilets and the reason why. She began to scream, not raise her voice but scream she didn't care that is what she wants. Rick compromised and said I can do the outside but the inside can't be done it will just begin to peel with standing water and that will look horrendous. She could apparently live with that.
In Bathroom 2 it was to be a toilet and tub in harvest gold.
She picked these colors from the Sherwin Williams color wheel and then we had to have the chemical company match the colors she requested. She agreed to the special order fee and off we go.
Rick arrived on Monday morning at 8am. He asked her to walk through the bathrooms with him. He took his work order and repeated all that was being done. Bath 1, tub, sink and toilet in red is that correct. She said Yes. Haven't we been over this before? Rick explained I just want to be sure nothing has changed because it has been over 2 months since I was here last. Sometimes your contractor makes changes. They moved to bath 2, tub and toilet in harvest gold.
She said Yes, correct, can I go now?
Rick finished and asked the homeowner to come in to view. She liked the harvest gold and we know that because she said, "Well you did what I told you to do, do you want a medal?" No, I would like you to look everything over to be sure you are happy before I leave. She waved a hand and said the flippant word whatever and moved to the other bathroom. Then the screaming began. I DID NOT WANT THE TOILET IN RED YOU DUMB ASS. OH MY GOD HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU? YOU'RE AN IDIOT. YOUR MAMA MADE A MORON. (Rick chuckled at that one) When Rick reminded her that they did the walkthrough and she agreed her response was, "YOU ASSHOLE I NEVER SAID THAT WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT THIS RED?" Rick put his hand in front of her face and said, "walk away and don't ever speak to me like this again or I will not make this right"
Her husband is mild meek little hunched over kind of man who looked at Rick and shrugged his shoulders. She walked away as did her little husband. But she was screaming the whole time.
Rick called the contractor. The contractors first words were, "See what I have been dealing with for the better part of a year?"
Rick said, Can we get her another toilet? I will pay for it. I didn't see why we had to do this but we do a lot of work for this contractor and we are making him look bad too. Rick felt it was the best thing to do after their conversations. I wasn't there but speaking to her on the phone was enough.
So we paid for a new toilet and the plumber to reinstall new toilet and deducted that from what they owed us. Rick told the contractor that he will never ever go back out there (way out in the country) and she has no warranty. He will not work for her ever again. The contractor said he understood and he was okay with that. He thanked us and on we went.
Now can you believe this old bat was close to 80? Her husband was 80 and the contractor said she mentioned something about wanting this done before her 78th birthday. I was a bit shocked that she was this old and yet spoke the way she did to Rick. We hope to be paid today after the contractor has the new toilet installed. We received the copy of the bill for the toilet and the plumber so as soon as everything is in place we get paid. As I said earlier the amount came to 666.02 and I said to Rick that I felt that number was very appropriate for this mean lady. 666 and satan seem about right to me.
This job was crazy from beginning to end.
_____________
Izzy methodically will remove stitches from a football and that will amuse her for hours. She does this so well that she doesn't rip the football, just takes out stitch by stitch. Surgically. We have watched her and we find it amazing.
The other night we heard her before we saw her doing the same thing on her front leg stitches. We stopped her. I actually had to rub some lemon on my hands and then rubbed my hand all around that area. ( No, I didn't put it on there, I'm not that mean.) She hates that smell and then doesn't touch them until it wears off of course.
Yesterday when we got her to the vet Rick told him he thinks she got the stitches pretty much off last night from her lump on her front leg.I woke up hearing her and made her stop.
He looked at it and Oh my God she did this without any skin irritation or hair removal. What did she do this with? Rick said, "her teeth. You should see her do this to a football." The vet called in a vet tech to show her. They found it funny and said, she did as good a job as I would do.
2 more weeks before she can do the stairs and we all get sleep in the bedroom. Yipee.
_____________________
Speaking of stairs.
We have something blocking the stairs so Izzy doesn't try to climb.
I was coming downstairs from my office around 5:30p. Rick was home and he was on the floor playing with Izzy. I had on socks. I never wear socks in the house. I am barefoot, socks cause me to slip and slide on the carpeted steps. When I am on the first floor where there is all hardwoods I wear my slippers.
So something we have known would happen for the last 18 years is that this klutzy woman would take a tumble. Rick did in year 2. It was inevitable.
I tried to put my foot in between these things on the steps, my heel slipped and I took a tumble and landed on the hardwoods (over concrete) with my right foot. It would have been better if I had tucked and rolled.
But I landed hard on my right leg.
My right foot came down so hard it jammed my knee. It was like when you stove a finger only my knee. I went down. I laid there and I knew immediately this was a hot mess. I got up. My knee felt swollen instantly but in the back of my knee and inside. Oh my God the pain. Rick was there to help me up.
I hobbled to the sofa. I iced it, I then put on heat. The heat felt better but I could not walk well. Rick fetched my crutches. The longer I sit, the worse it is. So I was hobbling around the first floor to keep it loose.
I have to admit that when I was falling and then landed upright that was pretty remarkable. Rick said after he knew I was okay, "Babe you really nailed that landing" That made me laugh and I needed it right then. Thank God for Rick who makes me laugh all the time. Laughter sure helps a lot of life's ills.
Looks like Izzy and I both need to sleep downstairs due to stairs.
This morning I am not a lot better. I was going to go to Urgent Care but they really can't tell anything by an X-Ray, can they? I really feel that I jammed it and it will be better in a week or so. Right now I can not fully extend my leg without pain. Now my husband is going to be certain I do these things so I can see my Dr. Tall Tan and Gorgeous who fixed my shoulder and my other knee. Geez.
_______________________
Interviewing and/or finding people that want to work full time and can communicate is troublesome. The labor pool is all Mexicans and not one could communicate enough to answer our questions so how could they work with a client on all the details?
A candidate that applied then told us that working 35-40 hours was a lot would we be interested in 20 hours because he has a lot of hobbies.
Yes, his exact words to us. It did make us laugh.
The last time we went through all of this Rick offered to pay for English classes if a young man was willing because he was a good candidate but he couldn't be alone with a client we would have to have Gary or Rick with him to speak with the customers. That is not cost effective. He said he was unwilling to even if we paid for it because he would have to go to classes 2 times a week and he didn't want to do this on his own time. (classes were 1.5 hrs 2x a week)
So he chose not to work here. Yes, that is our hiring pool.
Having a good week though, I am not dead yet. 😀
But I do think I'd make a great country music song.
Binging on Netflix....again.
You all know I LOVE Grace and Frankie.
This new season I binged watched over 2 days.
I had read that this season would be more focused on aging.
Which makes a ton of sense since they are 78 and 80 in real life and play 70 somethings on the show.
One does not get to 70 something without some health issues along the way, unfortunately.
Some of my favorite lines from this season were the following:
"Your ears are just ornamental at this point."
"My body is just slipping away and its the fucking pits!"
I can relate to a good deal of things on this show except for their wealth or the great clothes Grace wears that I can't afford. But God I wish I could. Her cashmere sweaters are to die for.
On Facebook these women who watch it make comments. I see them and just shake my head. They get upset that they only show the women aging and not the men. This one woman went crazy, foaming at the mouth crazy, angry female crazy saying it was done on purpose to make the women look frail. It was a male conspiracy. (btw, show is written by a woman, Marta Kaufmann)
Really?
The show is Grace and Frankie and the men are in the background. The men have had heart attacks and one has back and mobility issues. Who cares?
But this woman had a whole conspiracy and to me she was certifiable. She had her panties in a twist and got everyone riled up. I do not think this is showing women as weak. It was showing them aging. It sucks but it happens if you live long enough.
Another was pissed about how Frankie was behaving as a grandmother. Her kid would never be treated like this. Well guess what crazy lady, your kid won't be because THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE.
I don't know if these women need to just get a life or need to write their own politically correct show.
One complained about Briana being so foul-mouthed. That's what makes me laugh at her. She is so inappropriate all the time. She is cold and fearless and it makes me laugh. So perhaps she shouldn't watch this show. I do that every time I see the dump truck on TV because he offends me. Maybe she could try that instead of going on FB saying this character is foul and disgusting.
I do understand how some shows are so far from reality that it is difficult to watch. I don't usually watch those. But this show just brings me joy. I love the friendship that has grown since the beginning. I love the family dynamic. I love how they are all finding their way with this damn aging thing. It's entertainment and it certainly entertains me. If it didn't I wouldn't watch it. Rather simple really. Heaven knows I will not go on facebook and bitch a fit it that it isn't real because it isn't real, it's TV. Everyone ages and this is just Grace and Frankie's story and how it has affected them. Not me, not you, but pretend characters on a tv show.
Look as I have said here before, there are books on puberty and books as you grow up that my mom made me read to then discuss. Books on pregnancy and raising babies. Then all the books stop right there. No one tells you about aging. Surprise! Your balls will fall, fellas, not just my boobs. I remember when my hubby found out that little tidbit. He even said I knew about your boobs falling, but no one told me this was gonna happen to us guys. He even said that to his doctor who howled (female doctor too) Oh, how I laughed. But he was right. No one wants to talk about. Why is that? We all do it? Age, that is. It's not a secret. And it sure as hell shouldn't be a surprise to you like some things have been to us.
Watching an interview with Jane and Lily while promoting the new season they talked about their aging. Lily was saying how she used to have these long elegant fingers/hands. Now they are crooked and bent from arthritis and she sighed. Then she quickly added, but they still work. Jane has two artificial knees, one artificial hip, and an artificial thumb. That one stumped me but they didn't ask about it. I sure would have.
I had to delete this Facebook feed of Grace and Frankie because these women were certifiable. They were stereotypical angry women. That bummed me out.
Not everything is a conspiracy. Not everything is about the man holding down the woman. Not every family does things the same as you.
It's TV for Pete's sake, just enjoy the show and have a few laughs.
This new season I binged watched over 2 days.
I had read that this season would be more focused on aging.
Which makes a ton of sense since they are 78 and 80 in real life and play 70 somethings on the show.
One does not get to 70 something without some health issues along the way, unfortunately.
Some of my favorite lines from this season were the following:
"Your ears are just ornamental at this point."
"My body is just slipping away and its the fucking pits!"
I can relate to a good deal of things on this show except for their wealth or the great clothes Grace wears that I can't afford. But God I wish I could. Her cashmere sweaters are to die for.
On Facebook these women who watch it make comments. I see them and just shake my head. They get upset that they only show the women aging and not the men. This one woman went crazy, foaming at the mouth crazy, angry female crazy saying it was done on purpose to make the women look frail. It was a male conspiracy. (btw, show is written by a woman, Marta Kaufmann)
Really?
The show is Grace and Frankie and the men are in the background. The men have had heart attacks and one has back and mobility issues. Who cares?
But this woman had a whole conspiracy and to me she was certifiable. She had her panties in a twist and got everyone riled up. I do not think this is showing women as weak. It was showing them aging. It sucks but it happens if you live long enough.
Another was pissed about how Frankie was behaving as a grandmother. Her kid would never be treated like this. Well guess what crazy lady, your kid won't be because THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE.
I don't know if these women need to just get a life or need to write their own politically correct show.
One complained about Briana being so foul-mouthed. That's what makes me laugh at her. She is so inappropriate all the time. She is cold and fearless and it makes me laugh. So perhaps she shouldn't watch this show. I do that every time I see the dump truck on TV because he offends me. Maybe she could try that instead of going on FB saying this character is foul and disgusting.
I do understand how some shows are so far from reality that it is difficult to watch. I don't usually watch those. But this show just brings me joy. I love the friendship that has grown since the beginning. I love the family dynamic. I love how they are all finding their way with this damn aging thing. It's entertainment and it certainly entertains me. If it didn't I wouldn't watch it. Rather simple really. Heaven knows I will not go on facebook and bitch a fit it that it isn't real because it isn't real, it's TV. Everyone ages and this is just Grace and Frankie's story and how it has affected them. Not me, not you, but pretend characters on a tv show.
Look as I have said here before, there are books on puberty and books as you grow up that my mom made me read to then discuss. Books on pregnancy and raising babies. Then all the books stop right there. No one tells you about aging. Surprise! Your balls will fall, fellas, not just my boobs. I remember when my hubby found out that little tidbit. He even said I knew about your boobs falling, but no one told me this was gonna happen to us guys. He even said that to his doctor who howled (female doctor too) Oh, how I laughed. But he was right. No one wants to talk about. Why is that? We all do it? Age, that is. It's not a secret. And it sure as hell shouldn't be a surprise to you like some things have been to us.
Watching an interview with Jane and Lily while promoting the new season they talked about their aging. Lily was saying how she used to have these long elegant fingers/hands. Now they are crooked and bent from arthritis and she sighed. Then she quickly added, but they still work. Jane has two artificial knees, one artificial hip, and an artificial thumb. That one stumped me but they didn't ask about it. I sure would have.
I had to delete this Facebook feed of Grace and Frankie because these women were certifiable. They were stereotypical angry women. That bummed me out.
Not everything is a conspiracy. Not everything is about the man holding down the woman. Not every family does things the same as you.
It's TV for Pete's sake, just enjoy the show and have a few laughs.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
I am not Debby Downer
I saw this video on facebook.
My cousin's ex-wife who is only 5 years older than me has early onset dementia.
This disease is heartbreaking. Alzheimers/Dementia both are horrific. For those going through it as well as for their loved one.
I don't mean to be a total bummer this week really I don't. It seems like this week is nothing but Debby Downer blog posts. I will make it up to you :-)
I thought it was interesting to hear this from someone going through it.
I think as my friend Lorrie said one day on our walk, "I know I don't recall things and I know I repeat things even though I don't know when I am doing it. It is so frustrating to me as well. Please be patient with me."
How can one not be? I fear this so.
My cousin's ex-wife who is only 5 years older than me has early onset dementia.
This disease is heartbreaking. Alzheimers/Dementia both are horrific. For those going through it as well as for their loved one.
I don't mean to be a total bummer this week really I don't. It seems like this week is nothing but Debby Downer blog posts. I will make it up to you :-)
I thought it was interesting to hear this from someone going through it.
I think as my friend Lorrie said one day on our walk, "I know I don't recall things and I know I repeat things even though I don't know when I am doing it. It is so frustrating to me as well. Please be patient with me."
How can one not be? I fear this so.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Wifey
I guess I need to backtrack.
I thought I had told all of this but apparently, I am wrong.
I received several emails yesterday asking me about Gary's wife.
Gary was single when he came to work for us.
He had moved in with this crazy woman named Broomhilda. Okay, that isn't her name it is what he calls her. They hadn't been living together long before he began to work here.
He mentioned one day to Rick that he was looking for a new place because he needed to be away from her. He said, "She is a psychopath. I am seeing sides of her that scare me. I just need to get out"
Fast forward 2 weeks and he texts me at 3am. I am not up.
He calls at 5:30a, I am up. He is crying. I asked if he was okay. I knew it was his birthday the day before and I was thinking he was drunk or hurt or something along those lines.
He said, "She just told me she is 3.5 months pregnant and laughed. What the hell am I going to do? I haven't slept all night. I hate her." waa waa waa
Told him to get his shit together and don't come into work today but ready for the next day.
He is so not happy about having a child with this woman but then he shouldn't have had sex or worn a condom. He came to work the next day on time apologizing. I asked if they were keeping the baby. Yes. She has been pregnant for 3 1/2 months and she did not share this with him until his birthday. She called it his gift. Knowing full well he did not want a child. Anyone want to try to convince me she didn't do this all on purpose because she felt she may be losing him? Yeah, I thought so.
She has the baby and then hands it to him and says, "I don't want to deal with him." Gary is over the moon with his son. She does nothing with the boy.
He bathes, feeds, clothes, plays, pays for daycare etc. He takes him to the pumpkin farm, alone. She has nothing to do with the baby except to hold it over Gary's head. He has to rearrange his life for the baby and she does nothing. Gary gets paid by what he does. He doesn't work he doesn't get paid, hence why last year he only made 60K. She works in a government position and shops all day online and makes 80K a year. She does not pick up the baby at daycare or drop off. (they didn't know there was a mommy in the picture until the kid was 1 yr old)
If the baby is sick instead of mom taking one of her paid sick days, Gary must stay and take care of the baby. The baby has to go to the doctor and Gary takes time off work to go to the doctor.
Broomhilda knows he is a softy when it comes to this little boy who is now 2 yrs old. She threatens Gary with taking the child from him if he leaves.
Rick and I believe those are hollow threats. She is doing this to scare Gary.
I honestly think if Gary leaves she will call him in 2 weeks or less and say what she always does, "come get YOUR son."
Once when on the phone with him discussing changes to his schedule for the morning I hear her scream, "Get your kid I am sick of the crying" I said, "Do you have to go?" Gary said, "yes, the baby is crying and she refuses to deal with him so I have to get him. Can I call you back when I settle him down?" Nice mom huh?
Can you imagine not ever bathing your son? Making him food? This venomous woman has 2 other children which she ignores. Her son ran up the data on their cell phone plan playing games and it was over $700. Gary had his phone turned off. Hence why we put him on our plan, made it a company plan and gave him the phone. We need him to have a phone to take peoples charge cards, to call customers if lost, etc. We should have done that from the start but he kept saying he'd rather use his own phone. We should not have listened. Lesson learned for us. All the employees will be given a phone when they start.
I have met her twice. The first time was the first paycheck of Gary's before automatic deposit. She came to pick it up. She was cold and rude. I knew nothing about her yet and I said to Rick, "Pure evil came into the house and I honestly felt it was dark and chilling" Rick laughed at me. Who's laughing now? When things began to happen I told him that she is evil and toxic and if he doesn't get away from her he is going to be in for a-hurtin'. Sadly it came true.
The stories of things she had done to Gary are mind-boggling. But what is more mind-boggling to me is that he is letting it happen. His life is so messed up with her. She is mean to him and the boy. I don't get it. But she controls Gary and until he gets away from her and gets his shit together I can't have it bleed into the job as it has. His mind is not on the job, hence not cleaning the guns. He did so for years and then suddenly he isn't? He is so stressed you can see it on his face and weight. He sold all these cars he had to get the money to move. She found the money and took it. He said it was the closest he's come to hitting a woman.
As the years passed it got worse and the more drama the worse things were here at work. Not as dependable because of the baby. It's not the babies fault but I can't have a person who works a few days here and a few days there due to caring for their child. I know that sounds mean. I get that. I even offered to have him go part time if that would help him with the care of his child. He said no to that. Then I expect you to be here M-F.simple as that. But it got worse.
He was raised by a military dad because his mom died when he was just a few months old. He has 2 older sisters. They are just 1 or 2 yrs older. They are delightful and I have met them. They all see the toxic environment he lives in. One of them whom I met at a picnic asked if I met her. I said I had. She said, "did it give you the chills?" What a strange question I thought but that is exactly what it felt like. She nodded and said, "he needs to get away before Gary is dead"
Now here is the thing I don't understand. She is not pretty, just toxic. She is not nice, just toxic. What does he see in her? Apparently, it was a great piece of ass that kept him around is all I can think of. Do you know she told him at Christmas that if he went home to see his sick father then the two of them (baby) would not get any Xmas gifts? Gary bought the baby gifts and she took them away. So then there is crying etc. She would not go to Gary's family over the holidays because she thinks they are stupid. Which works out fine because his family doesn't like her. So that is why he went to Michigan with just the baby.
This summer he asked if he could put a baby seat in the work van. I said okay why do you need to do that if I may ask. He said that Broomhilda is taking a 2-week vacation and I have to take the baby to and from daycare and won't have the car. This woman went on a 2-week vacation with her girlfriends. She left her other 2 children with her mother. Her first and only husband committed suicide. I think she has that effect on people.
Last night he texts me and said that as soon as Broomhilda gets home I will be heading your way. She deliberately didn't come home until 8p. She did not answer her phone. She got in and said, "Oh sorry, had drinks with friends"
In the meantime, her other kids are fed by Gary and homework gets done and I was waiting for on him. He kept calling and texting me. I said fine, I'll pick things up in the morning. He apologized for the 100th time.
So that is where the "wife" is in all of this. There are so many more stories but that gives you an idea. I don't wish to be involved in my employee's lives. He has made it that way. I don't want to know more than you have a family and I will acknowledge them and be nice about them. But if they interfere with your work life then things change. I could never ever in a million years have kept my job as long as he had if I had called off work etc for baby things. I saw women worrying about such things to make it work for their career. But all the women I worked with had a supportive co-parent to help them. Many times I had to pick up slack for a mommy. I understood it. It takes a village. But if any of these women missed this much work, caused this many issues, they would not still have their jobs.
I thought I had told all of this but apparently, I am wrong.
I received several emails yesterday asking me about Gary's wife.
Gary was single when he came to work for us.
He had moved in with this crazy woman named Broomhilda. Okay, that isn't her name it is what he calls her. They hadn't been living together long before he began to work here.
He mentioned one day to Rick that he was looking for a new place because he needed to be away from her. He said, "She is a psychopath. I am seeing sides of her that scare me. I just need to get out"
Fast forward 2 weeks and he texts me at 3am. I am not up.
He calls at 5:30a, I am up. He is crying. I asked if he was okay. I knew it was his birthday the day before and I was thinking he was drunk or hurt or something along those lines.
He said, "She just told me she is 3.5 months pregnant and laughed. What the hell am I going to do? I haven't slept all night. I hate her." waa waa waa
Told him to get his shit together and don't come into work today but ready for the next day.
He is so not happy about having a child with this woman but then he shouldn't have had sex or worn a condom. He came to work the next day on time apologizing. I asked if they were keeping the baby. Yes. She has been pregnant for 3 1/2 months and she did not share this with him until his birthday. She called it his gift. Knowing full well he did not want a child. Anyone want to try to convince me she didn't do this all on purpose because she felt she may be losing him? Yeah, I thought so.
She has the baby and then hands it to him and says, "I don't want to deal with him." Gary is over the moon with his son. She does nothing with the boy.
He bathes, feeds, clothes, plays, pays for daycare etc. He takes him to the pumpkin farm, alone. She has nothing to do with the baby except to hold it over Gary's head. He has to rearrange his life for the baby and she does nothing. Gary gets paid by what he does. He doesn't work he doesn't get paid, hence why last year he only made 60K. She works in a government position and shops all day online and makes 80K a year. She does not pick up the baby at daycare or drop off. (they didn't know there was a mommy in the picture until the kid was 1 yr old)
If the baby is sick instead of mom taking one of her paid sick days, Gary must stay and take care of the baby. The baby has to go to the doctor and Gary takes time off work to go to the doctor.
Broomhilda knows he is a softy when it comes to this little boy who is now 2 yrs old. She threatens Gary with taking the child from him if he leaves.
Rick and I believe those are hollow threats. She is doing this to scare Gary.
I honestly think if Gary leaves she will call him in 2 weeks or less and say what she always does, "come get YOUR son."
Once when on the phone with him discussing changes to his schedule for the morning I hear her scream, "Get your kid I am sick of the crying" I said, "Do you have to go?" Gary said, "yes, the baby is crying and she refuses to deal with him so I have to get him. Can I call you back when I settle him down?" Nice mom huh?
Can you imagine not ever bathing your son? Making him food? This venomous woman has 2 other children which she ignores. Her son ran up the data on their cell phone plan playing games and it was over $700. Gary had his phone turned off. Hence why we put him on our plan, made it a company plan and gave him the phone. We need him to have a phone to take peoples charge cards, to call customers if lost, etc. We should have done that from the start but he kept saying he'd rather use his own phone. We should not have listened. Lesson learned for us. All the employees will be given a phone when they start.
I have met her twice. The first time was the first paycheck of Gary's before automatic deposit. She came to pick it up. She was cold and rude. I knew nothing about her yet and I said to Rick, "Pure evil came into the house and I honestly felt it was dark and chilling" Rick laughed at me. Who's laughing now? When things began to happen I told him that she is evil and toxic and if he doesn't get away from her he is going to be in for a-hurtin'. Sadly it came true.
The stories of things she had done to Gary are mind-boggling. But what is more mind-boggling to me is that he is letting it happen. His life is so messed up with her. She is mean to him and the boy. I don't get it. But she controls Gary and until he gets away from her and gets his shit together I can't have it bleed into the job as it has. His mind is not on the job, hence not cleaning the guns. He did so for years and then suddenly he isn't? He is so stressed you can see it on his face and weight. He sold all these cars he had to get the money to move. She found the money and took it. He said it was the closest he's come to hitting a woman.
As the years passed it got worse and the more drama the worse things were here at work. Not as dependable because of the baby. It's not the babies fault but I can't have a person who works a few days here and a few days there due to caring for their child. I know that sounds mean. I get that. I even offered to have him go part time if that would help him with the care of his child. He said no to that. Then I expect you to be here M-F.simple as that. But it got worse.
He was raised by a military dad because his mom died when he was just a few months old. He has 2 older sisters. They are just 1 or 2 yrs older. They are delightful and I have met them. They all see the toxic environment he lives in. One of them whom I met at a picnic asked if I met her. I said I had. She said, "did it give you the chills?" What a strange question I thought but that is exactly what it felt like. She nodded and said, "he needs to get away before Gary is dead"
Now here is the thing I don't understand. She is not pretty, just toxic. She is not nice, just toxic. What does he see in her? Apparently, it was a great piece of ass that kept him around is all I can think of. Do you know she told him at Christmas that if he went home to see his sick father then the two of them (baby) would not get any Xmas gifts? Gary bought the baby gifts and she took them away. So then there is crying etc. She would not go to Gary's family over the holidays because she thinks they are stupid. Which works out fine because his family doesn't like her. So that is why he went to Michigan with just the baby.
This summer he asked if he could put a baby seat in the work van. I said okay why do you need to do that if I may ask. He said that Broomhilda is taking a 2-week vacation and I have to take the baby to and from daycare and won't have the car. This woman went on a 2-week vacation with her girlfriends. She left her other 2 children with her mother. Her first and only husband committed suicide. I think she has that effect on people.
Last night he texts me and said that as soon as Broomhilda gets home I will be heading your way. She deliberately didn't come home until 8p. She did not answer her phone. She got in and said, "Oh sorry, had drinks with friends"
In the meantime, her other kids are fed by Gary and homework gets done and I was waiting for on him. He kept calling and texting me. I said fine, I'll pick things up in the morning. He apologized for the 100th time.
So that is where the "wife" is in all of this. There are so many more stories but that gives you an idea. I don't wish to be involved in my employee's lives. He has made it that way. I don't want to know more than you have a family and I will acknowledge them and be nice about them. But if they interfere with your work life then things change. I could never ever in a million years have kept my job as long as he had if I had called off work etc for baby things. I saw women worrying about such things to make it work for their career. But all the women I worked with had a supportive co-parent to help them. Many times I had to pick up slack for a mommy. I understood it. It takes a village. But if any of these women missed this much work, caused this many issues, they would not still have their jobs.
The Ax Keeping Coming
I use the payroll company called Paychex.
They do our quarterly taxes, workers comp, payroll etc.
I love having this taken from me it was just too much for me to deal with on top of all other items on my to-do list. Besides, it was so confusing to me. You know my math issue. :-)
I have Gary's health care through Paychex HR. His Aetna insurance is through them and it has been horrible. Not the insurance but this group in Rochester NY. The woman is named Laura. Laura never ever returned my calls or email.
I finally one day went to her supervisor who laughed and said, "I'm sure she will get to you." So when I knew I was letting Gary go I wanted to be sure that I stopped his insurance before the next cycle of removing the money from my account. The next time was only a few days away and I did not want to pay that money for another month.
I called on a Monday and left a message. I called each and every day for a week and a half. I left a voicemail and I left emails. Finally, I went around her and went to Aetna and canceled it. When asked why I didn't go through the broker I told her she was inept could you please do this for me? Yes, they did it after begging. Whew, I won't have to deal with them again.
As for payroll that is handled out of their Richmond office. I called this woman for 6 days 2x a day as well as emails. She did not call me at our scheduled time for payroll 2 weeks in a row. I had to call in the afternoon in hopes that payroll would go through. Today I finally reached her. I asked her this - "Kathy can you help me to understand why you haven't called me back or returned any of the emails?"
Her - "Oh I have been busy." Then she laughs.
oh, that was not the right thing to do to me right then.
I said "Kathy, I'm sorry but that is an excuse, not a reason. We are all busy. You couldn't have taken the time to respond to my emails with you're busy you aren't ignoring me and you'll touch base by the end of the week?"
Her: "Oh please."
That was it. Fired them too.
Oh my gosh I was livid. First of all this woman bugs me to high heaven.
The rep I had was wonderful her name was Liz. I loved her.
She was professional and on the ball. She was always helpful when I had questions and she was responsive. She made me feel like I was an important customer even if I wasn't. Then this woman comes on board when Liz got a new position.
Kathy is the stereotypical southern woman. She is all drawl and sweetness in sound but the words are not nice. You know them. They make me sick. I hate women like her. Just because you don't say it straight up and honestly doesn't mean you are nice. Or as she would say, Oh please.
Oh, this makes my blood boil as I type this.
Her supervisor called me later in the day. He asked why we were leaving. I told him. He said and I quote, "well we are very busy this time of year"
Again an excuse not a reason why I was not called or emailed.
I told him the same thing, I don't feel an excuse is the right answer here I would prefer a reason. I'm assuming I am not getting a reason because there is no reason to not have her call me at the designated time for payroll 2 weeks in a row. To avoid all communications regarding questions that were time sensitive.
He then offered me this and that for free. No thank you.
I said if you get me Liz back I'd consider it.
He told me she works in another department which I knew but I thought I'd try.
I then said, I appreciate the call but the fact that you are defending her makes me feel that this type of behavior is company acceptable and I don't accept that.
So we are leaving.
Boy we are on a firing jag, aren't we?
They do our quarterly taxes, workers comp, payroll etc.
I love having this taken from me it was just too much for me to deal with on top of all other items on my to-do list. Besides, it was so confusing to me. You know my math issue. :-)
I have Gary's health care through Paychex HR. His Aetna insurance is through them and it has been horrible. Not the insurance but this group in Rochester NY. The woman is named Laura. Laura never ever returned my calls or email.
I finally one day went to her supervisor who laughed and said, "I'm sure she will get to you." So when I knew I was letting Gary go I wanted to be sure that I stopped his insurance before the next cycle of removing the money from my account. The next time was only a few days away and I did not want to pay that money for another month.
I called on a Monday and left a message. I called each and every day for a week and a half. I left a voicemail and I left emails. Finally, I went around her and went to Aetna and canceled it. When asked why I didn't go through the broker I told her she was inept could you please do this for me? Yes, they did it after begging. Whew, I won't have to deal with them again.
As for payroll that is handled out of their Richmond office. I called this woman for 6 days 2x a day as well as emails. She did not call me at our scheduled time for payroll 2 weeks in a row. I had to call in the afternoon in hopes that payroll would go through. Today I finally reached her. I asked her this - "Kathy can you help me to understand why you haven't called me back or returned any of the emails?"
Her - "Oh I have been busy." Then she laughs.
oh, that was not the right thing to do to me right then.
I said "Kathy, I'm sorry but that is an excuse, not a reason. We are all busy. You couldn't have taken the time to respond to my emails with you're busy you aren't ignoring me and you'll touch base by the end of the week?"
Her: "Oh please."
That was it. Fired them too.
Oh my gosh I was livid. First of all this woman bugs me to high heaven.
The rep I had was wonderful her name was Liz. I loved her.
She was professional and on the ball. She was always helpful when I had questions and she was responsive. She made me feel like I was an important customer even if I wasn't. Then this woman comes on board when Liz got a new position.
Kathy is the stereotypical southern woman. She is all drawl and sweetness in sound but the words are not nice. You know them. They make me sick. I hate women like her. Just because you don't say it straight up and honestly doesn't mean you are nice. Or as she would say, Oh please.
Oh, this makes my blood boil as I type this.
Her supervisor called me later in the day. He asked why we were leaving. I told him. He said and I quote, "well we are very busy this time of year"
Again an excuse not a reason why I was not called or emailed.
I told him the same thing, I don't feel an excuse is the right answer here I would prefer a reason. I'm assuming I am not getting a reason because there is no reason to not have her call me at the designated time for payroll 2 weeks in a row. To avoid all communications regarding questions that were time sensitive.
He then offered me this and that for free. No thank you.
I said if you get me Liz back I'd consider it.
He told me she works in another department which I knew but I thought I'd try.
I then said, I appreciate the call but the fact that you are defending her makes me feel that this type of behavior is company acceptable and I don't accept that.
So we are leaving.
Boy we are on a firing jag, aren't we?
Monday, January 22, 2018
You're Fired.
We had to fire Gary about two weeks ago.
My goodness, this man changed after this baby.
I've seen this happen with women but never men.
So here's to equality.
As I have told you all before he had a kid and nothing was ever the same.
He was late, he had to leave to get the baby, he was sick from the baby, the baby was sick and he couldn't come to work, the baby is sick and daycare needs him to be picked up. There were so many issues.
He went from being a good employee to a very bad employee.
He did good work but we started to see the changes in that too over the last 2 months.
Fast forward to the holidays -
We are slow from Christmas through the 1st week of January.
Gary wanted to go home to Michigan to see his dad.
His dad has late-stage lung cancer and he wanted to bring his son and spend some time.
He asked if he could be gone those 2 weeks. We said sure no problem.
In the meantime, we went to his home and picked up our work vehicle parked at his home. When Rick saw the inside he went batshit crazy. There were car parts all over it like he has been using our vehicle for a side job. Mufflers and all kinds of greasy things. The truck was a mess. The dash has a built-in Sirius radio, GPS etc. It was broken. $3900 people. We've only had this vehicle for 2 years.
Rick took apart his spray gun - ruined, he left paint in the can and he hadn't cleaned it and it was literally ruined. Rick spent days trying to fix it. He did this to 2 guns. They are to be cleaned after each job. 5 minutes time and he didn't.
Each gun is $425 a piece. Rick was so angry it was scary.
Gary left on the 16th of December. He was to be back to work on the 2nd.
He called and asked if he could stay until the 6th. His father dropped a bomb shell on him and his sisters and they had to do some things with the attorney etc.
I said sure. Text or call me when you get back into VA.
I rearranged the schedule to accommodate only Rick being able to work.
So I have now inconvenienced customers for this to work.
Then on the 7th, I text him because he told me he'd be in town on the weekend and would let us know he was home.
I asked, "Are you ready for tomorrow"
He texts me back, "No I need another day or so."
WHAT? It's been 4 damn weeks. What is the issue. I asked, "do you no longer wish to work?" Oh no, he loves his job, I'm sorry but .......
I said, "If you can't make it to work again with no excuse you are going to be let go." So he was.
He came here crying the blues. Literally crying. His life is a cluster fuck and I can no longer feel sorry for him. I told him before if his personal life interfered with work again we were going to have to address this. He signed off on this after our meeting. But he did it again.
He is 40 something and if he can't pick himself up after all we've done for him he will never get it together. He has been whining about the same things for 3 years. Enough. I don't care that you are the primary caregiver in your home, we've made it work for you by allowing you to take the company vehicle home to make things easier. I could go on and on with that list but I won't bore you. We have been more than understanding with him. We had this discussion with him before and made him sign off that he understood if he pulled this again he would lose his job. So this couldn't be a shock to him.
We have been looking for a new person for a month prior to letting him go because we needed an additional person and we are struggling with finding someone who can speak English. So frustrating. Wanted a veteran but it isn't easy finding them either. You'd think that would be a piece of cake, wouldn't you? You either have to pay a fortune for them or you go to a job bank which is limited at best.
Anyway, he did $3900 damage to the car, $850 in damage to equipment and I have given him money for daycare 3 x. He asked for an advance and I never took it from him so I paid daycare for him 3 x at $600. He only made 60K this year with full benefits. I know that is not a lot but if he came to work more he'd sure make more. He did make more before his baby arrived, lots more.
Today he was to drop off the key to the car and an exhaust fan at 2:30p. He text and said he would be late. Yep, it's 5pm and he's still not here. Wanna bet he never shows up?
Quickie
This made Rick and I laugh.
My dad is going to be 90 in a couple of weeks.
He has dementia his doctors say. He doesn't remember most of his kids or for that matter anything. He is not well.
He had a fall last week in the kitchen. The ambulance arrived and began to ask Dad questions before my mom had a chance to tell them that he had dementia. They asked him what day it was, he responded with the correct date. Lucky guess? We don't know.
Then they asked him who the president was. My mom said she heard this and could only imagine what he was going to say, Reagan, Bush, Clinton?
But my dad said, "that asshole trump" They all laughed.
My God that is funny to me. Even with dementia, my father is smarter than most.
My dad is going to be 90 in a couple of weeks.
He has dementia his doctors say. He doesn't remember most of his kids or for that matter anything. He is not well.
He had a fall last week in the kitchen. The ambulance arrived and began to ask Dad questions before my mom had a chance to tell them that he had dementia. They asked him what day it was, he responded with the correct date. Lucky guess? We don't know.
Then they asked him who the president was. My mom said she heard this and could only imagine what he was going to say, Reagan, Bush, Clinton?
But my dad said, "that asshole trump" They all laughed.
My God that is funny to me. Even with dementia, my father is smarter than most.
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Names
BootsandBraids has a way of naming her neighbors in her 55+ community that reminds me so much of my husband.
The problem that happens when Rick does this I forget their real names if I ever knew them.
We had a family who lives across the street from us since we moved here.
He calls them the dirtbags. Oh, that sounds mean, but it is a Jerry Springer show over there. The police are there so often it seems they live there. We don't have occasion to speak with them and when you do it is always awful.
A woman lives in the home with her boyfriend and their baby as well as her husband and their kids. The children ages range from 20+ to 4 and they are always dirty, the boys look like they are on their way to jail, the young girls barely dress. The mother stands out there and yells at them with foul language. Last week she screamed out a window to one of her children and their friends that were across the street. It was a scream of obscenities. I once asked if it was possible for her to move the bus she parked at the corner so that we could see around the corner and she told me to fuck off.
Okay then, the bus stays.
The names around us are -
The Narcissist
The Perfect Family
The Chickadee
Tulip Boy
Horse Mama
Lisp
Secret Agent Man
I think for the most part they are easy to understand.
The Narcissist is well, very self-consumed. (Batshit crazy too)
The Perfect Family is just that. Mom and Dad look like Barbie and Ken. Both extremely buff, tan and good looking. As nice as can be too. They have a boy and a girl. Smart, athletic and both got scholarships. They are polite and kind and never seemed like teenagers. He was a detective within DC Police and she was a high school teacher. They were active in the community as well as politically. When I met them their kids were playing with Izzy. I said to Rick, they are like a picture of a family you would see in a movie or magazine.
So Rick named them. We were invited to their home one day for cocktails. We had a ball. Rick told them how I can never remember names and once when he told me that Jan was getting a dog but I didn't know who he was talking about. He then said, 'The mom in the perfect family.' They laughed. He explained further and they now were howling. They said, well it may look perfect but we are anything but. I said, "Oh I understand but I just see you 4 beautiful people with the perfect yard and you even run 5 miles and at the end when I see you, you look so pretty. I don't know how you do it." Oh, we had some good laughs. They signed their Xmas card, The Perfect Family. I don't care what they say, they are to me. They even all marched together during the Women's March. We should have named them the nicest neighbors because they were that too.
The chickadee is a woman who lives alone and walks her dog in high heels.
She seems friendly and nice but that is all we know, we don't even know her real name. We always smile and nod and move on. She wears a ton of cologne too. I can smell her before I see her.
Tulip Boy puts signs up around his tulips each year. "Do not have your kids or your dogs trample my tulips!" He even has a camera there. Izzy likes to poop near his townhome. I know it drives him mad but he is next to woods and that is not his property. He will watch us from his window. I wave. He runs. I think he is a quirky little man but he's right, his tulips each year are to die for! And I would never allow my dog to go to the bathroom is someone's yard but apparently, others have done that to him hence the sign.
Horse Mama we met one day when she was getting out of her car in her riding gear and she was fawning all over Izzy. She may have told us her name but we don't recall so when we see her we refer to her as Horse Mama. She talked a lot about her horses and how they were her kids so hence the name. If we happen to walk by her home on the way to the park she always comes down her driveway to see our dog. She's odd and very nice. She shares too much. I don't know her name for heaven's sake. But I know she and her husband's life story. Did you know he takes Cialis? Yes, she just blurted that out. I said, "Okay then. Izzy and I have to get back, I'm still working" and I ran off. Why do people do that?
Lisp is self-explanatory. He lives about 10 blocks from us and he will wave all the time at us as we are coming down the street walking Izzy. The young man always asks if he can pet our dog and if she's nice. He hugs her and loves to pet her ears because as he likes to say, "they are very soft"
He is mentally challenged but just the nicest young man.
When I asked him his name he whispered to us he couldn't tell us because his mother told him not to talk to strangers and if he told me then she would know we talked to him. He is so cute, he put his finger to his mouth after saying this and said, Shhh...
We just laughed along with him. It was cute. So when we see him we just say Hi and do not mention a name. But when Rick comes back from a walk he will say, Oh Izzy got lovin' from Lisp today and they were both happy. Then I know who he is referring to.
Secret Agent Man has lived 2 blocks from me for 18 years.
We have only seen him once. Blinds are always closed and the brush around his front door is overgrown. We saw him for the first time last spring because we are certain the HOA got on him about the shrubs in front so he was trimming and cleaning things up. His direct neighbor is our friend JW. She told us that he only uses his garage to go in and out of his house and his car windows are blackened. When she has said hello he ignores her. We don't know a thing about him and it's all so clandestine so we just decided to make a story that he is a spy or a secret agent of sorts. It amuses us. Rick came home one day and told me about a sign in front of the Secret Agent's house.
How else would I have understood where this sign was?
The problem that happens when Rick does this I forget their real names if I ever knew them.
We had a family who lives across the street from us since we moved here.
He calls them the dirtbags. Oh, that sounds mean, but it is a Jerry Springer show over there. The police are there so often it seems they live there. We don't have occasion to speak with them and when you do it is always awful.
A woman lives in the home with her boyfriend and their baby as well as her husband and their kids. The children ages range from 20+ to 4 and they are always dirty, the boys look like they are on their way to jail, the young girls barely dress. The mother stands out there and yells at them with foul language. Last week she screamed out a window to one of her children and their friends that were across the street. It was a scream of obscenities. I once asked if it was possible for her to move the bus she parked at the corner so that we could see around the corner and she told me to fuck off.
Okay then, the bus stays.
The names around us are -
The Narcissist
The Perfect Family
The Chickadee
Tulip Boy
Horse Mama
Lisp
Secret Agent Man
I think for the most part they are easy to understand.
The Narcissist is well, very self-consumed. (Batshit crazy too)
The Perfect Family is just that. Mom and Dad look like Barbie and Ken. Both extremely buff, tan and good looking. As nice as can be too. They have a boy and a girl. Smart, athletic and both got scholarships. They are polite and kind and never seemed like teenagers. He was a detective within DC Police and she was a high school teacher. They were active in the community as well as politically. When I met them their kids were playing with Izzy. I said to Rick, they are like a picture of a family you would see in a movie or magazine.
So Rick named them. We were invited to their home one day for cocktails. We had a ball. Rick told them how I can never remember names and once when he told me that Jan was getting a dog but I didn't know who he was talking about. He then said, 'The mom in the perfect family.' They laughed. He explained further and they now were howling. They said, well it may look perfect but we are anything but. I said, "Oh I understand but I just see you 4 beautiful people with the perfect yard and you even run 5 miles and at the end when I see you, you look so pretty. I don't know how you do it." Oh, we had some good laughs. They signed their Xmas card, The Perfect Family. I don't care what they say, they are to me. They even all marched together during the Women's March. We should have named them the nicest neighbors because they were that too.
The chickadee is a woman who lives alone and walks her dog in high heels.
She seems friendly and nice but that is all we know, we don't even know her real name. We always smile and nod and move on. She wears a ton of cologne too. I can smell her before I see her.
Tulip Boy puts signs up around his tulips each year. "Do not have your kids or your dogs trample my tulips!" He even has a camera there. Izzy likes to poop near his townhome. I know it drives him mad but he is next to woods and that is not his property. He will watch us from his window. I wave. He runs. I think he is a quirky little man but he's right, his tulips each year are to die for! And I would never allow my dog to go to the bathroom is someone's yard but apparently, others have done that to him hence the sign.
Horse Mama we met one day when she was getting out of her car in her riding gear and she was fawning all over Izzy. She may have told us her name but we don't recall so when we see her we refer to her as Horse Mama. She talked a lot about her horses and how they were her kids so hence the name. If we happen to walk by her home on the way to the park she always comes down her driveway to see our dog. She's odd and very nice. She shares too much. I don't know her name for heaven's sake. But I know she and her husband's life story. Did you know he takes Cialis? Yes, she just blurted that out. I said, "Okay then. Izzy and I have to get back, I'm still working" and I ran off. Why do people do that?
Lisp is self-explanatory. He lives about 10 blocks from us and he will wave all the time at us as we are coming down the street walking Izzy. The young man always asks if he can pet our dog and if she's nice. He hugs her and loves to pet her ears because as he likes to say, "they are very soft"
He is mentally challenged but just the nicest young man.
When I asked him his name he whispered to us he couldn't tell us because his mother told him not to talk to strangers and if he told me then she would know we talked to him. He is so cute, he put his finger to his mouth after saying this and said, Shhh...
We just laughed along with him. It was cute. So when we see him we just say Hi and do not mention a name. But when Rick comes back from a walk he will say, Oh Izzy got lovin' from Lisp today and they were both happy. Then I know who he is referring to.
Secret Agent Man has lived 2 blocks from me for 18 years.
We have only seen him once. Blinds are always closed and the brush around his front door is overgrown. We saw him for the first time last spring because we are certain the HOA got on him about the shrubs in front so he was trimming and cleaning things up. His direct neighbor is our friend JW. She told us that he only uses his garage to go in and out of his house and his car windows are blackened. When she has said hello he ignores her. We don't know a thing about him and it's all so clandestine so we just decided to make a story that he is a spy or a secret agent of sorts. It amuses us. Rick came home one day and told me about a sign in front of the Secret Agent's house.
How else would I have understood where this sign was?
Friday, January 19, 2018
742 Months
I read a story about a young woman's son who had down syndrome.
He was 25 months she said.
Why 25 months and not 2 years old?
I have always found your age in months to be the silliest thing.
Is it due to the fact that I never had children? Is this a mommy thing?
In this article, she referenced his age at 25 months several times.
Each time I read it I was screaming inside - No, he's 2 years old.
At what point is this kid in years and not months?
Is there a cut off that mommies don't share with we non-mommies?
I feel like this is such a secret society, shrouded in mystery.
'My kid is going through a difficult period, he's 168 months. You know how those kids are at that age.'
So I have decided that when people ask me how old I am I will respond with, I am 742 months.
I'll let you know how it works. Seriously I can't wait to be asked just to see how they react. It is no sillier than doing it for a child.
It is just more accepted because for some reason mommies do it.
That doesn't mean it isn't silly or foolish.
How many months are you?
He was 25 months she said.
Why 25 months and not 2 years old?
I have always found your age in months to be the silliest thing.
Is it due to the fact that I never had children? Is this a mommy thing?
In this article, she referenced his age at 25 months several times.
Each time I read it I was screaming inside - No, he's 2 years old.
At what point is this kid in years and not months?
Is there a cut off that mommies don't share with we non-mommies?
I feel like this is such a secret society, shrouded in mystery.
'My kid is going through a difficult period, he's 168 months. You know how those kids are at that age.'
So I have decided that when people ask me how old I am I will respond with, I am 742 months.
I'll let you know how it works. Seriously I can't wait to be asked just to see how they react. It is no sillier than doing it for a child.
It is just more accepted because for some reason mommies do it.
That doesn't mean it isn't silly or foolish.
How many months are you?
Thursday, January 18, 2018
BFF's
All through high school, I took classes to help me get into college.
School was easy for me and I have to admit that if I had really put work into my school work I would have excelled. But I was more concerned with the social life of high school. I loved school. I did well without much studying except in math. Algebra and calculus were horrific for me and math continues to be the royal pain in the ass it always was for me.
In my high school when you had your credits you could graduate as long as you were 16. You had to have a certain amount of credits in each category like math, sciences etc. I had the credits but why leave? I loved the social aspect of school and I sure didn't think it would be fun to leave school so early. Another year of cheerleading and socializing sounded like fun to me. So I stayed and enjoyed my senior year without the stress that others had to complete the right classes.
My year was full of fun classes in things I enjoyed. No more math, I had the requirements for college and I knew what college I was going to so I was just enjoying it all. But something changed and I decided I would take a year off before college. My father didn't even balk at this because as I have shared he was old school who thought girls/women did not really need college for anything more than finding a husband. I now had a new mom in my life and she was so overwhelmed with new babies and this new family she never said a thing about it. (if my mom had been alive there would have been no way I would have gotten away with that route of skipping college!!)
Instead, I got a job after graduation at a local bank. I lived at home until I was 18 1/2. I remember thinking that this midnight curfew was a royal pain and the only way I would ever be able to stay out later was to move out. So I saved my money like crazy.
I moved into a horrible little apartment who's floors in the kitchen were slanted.
We lived on the top floor and a young a married couple lived below us.
It was small, it was slanted and it had shag carpeting and paneling. 1970's in full force.
Our floors were not slanted slightly either.
They were noticeably leaning towards the back of the house.
At one point my boyfriend made a makeshift hockey goalie net at the end of the kitchen wall where everything rolled to. It was definitely a conversation starter.
For some reason it never bothered us, we found it humorous. It was a very tiny place. You had to walk up a slew of steps to get to our apartment door. Because of this we always knew someone was coming. I remember sitting in my bean bag chair listening to Bruce Springsteen sing Born To Run with wired headphones while my roommate rolled joints. Ah, to be young again.
My roommate decided to move on when our lease was up and go to college. I got a new apartment in a brand new shiny apartment complex. No slanted floors. We were the first people to live in this apartment. My best friend, Susan, since 6th grade, was now available to move in with me and we were so excited to be living together. We were 19 when we moved in. It was 1975.
We lived on the bottom floor because it was cheaper. Our windows were level with the ground outside. These windows in our living room came in handy a great many times. When we grocery shopped we put our bags in front of the window. Then we went inside the building and down the stairs and opened our window. We would take our bags right to the kitchen. It was far easier than making several trips in and out of the secure key building and down the stairs. We thought it was brilliant. We even shoveled snow from the windows so one, we could see outside, and two, to bring in our grocery bags.
To us this place was huge. We each had a very good size bedroom but we only had 1 bathroom. But we made it work.
We lived across from our local mall so, in all honesty, everything about this place was perfect for us.
Once during a snowstorm, the city was closed down. The interstate to get to my place was closed. So we stayed in and played music, smoked pot and painted a paint by numbers painting of dogs that she got from her mom for Christmas.
Apparently, the hall now reeked of our pot smoke.
The landlord was called unbeknownst to us.
Next thing we know there is a knock on our door. Oh oh.
We began the crazy run around the house spraying things that didn't help the smell one bit.
The young man who was our landlord came in and sat down. We knew.
Oh God did we know and we thought for certain we were going to be kicked out.
Instead, the man said to us, "Ladies, you can smell the pot down the hall. Since everyone comes down to this floor to go to the laundry room I have had several complaints. If you wish to do this please go to your bedrooms in the back or put something under your door or both. We can't have this smell lingering in the hall. Do you understand?" We said we did, we apologized and he left.
Whew. We thought for sure we were going to be kicked out and then what would we tell our parents? We got very lucky!
Susan and I lived together for a long time. Her parents owned a pizza shop and once a week they would give us a couple of uncooked but prepared pizzas and a couple of hoagies, subs or whatever you call them in your area (grinders) For two girls who liked to smoke pot and hated to cook this was a pretty sweet deal.
We never had food in our fridge. My boyfriend always brought food and so did Susan's. We were lucky like that.
Susan and I lived together until she got married. She moved to a burb 25 miles away and opened her own hair salon. We were no longer smoking pot and sitting around in bean bag chairs listening to albums loudly. We were growing up.
I too got married to that boyfriend. Susan started having kids. God, I love her kids. But as they got older and her life became so different from mine we did our separate things as one does. We talked on the phone but that was all we did most years. I got a divorce and went back to school, finally getting that degree. Susan owned a thriving hair salon and had 3 great children and moved to a big farmhouse on 70acres in the country.
Our lives couldn't have been more different.
Every time I was back to my hometown we got together. We had such different lives yet when we got together it was like no time had passed. We just picked up where we left off and it just has always been comfortable and perfect. I know that if I ever needed her she would be there for me in a heartbeat. No questions asked.
She said once that if I called from jail, she would be there to bail me out no questions asked. Then she said, "oh wait after we got in the car I'd have a lot of questions who the hell am I kidding?" Ah, that made me laugh. That is Sue! I wouldn't want it any other way.
I did not get to spend a single minute with her when I was home last summer. I was so disappointed as was she. I saw on facebook some photos just posted with her and her hubby cutting a Christmas tree down. Susan had a cane. I called her right away.
She is having toe surgery next week. The cane was not for anything more serious than that. The call lasted well over an hour. We got all caught up and we had some good laughs. It was like no time had passed at all.
When we were about to hang up she thanked me for calling and checking up on her. She said to tell her favorite flirt she said hi. (that, of course, is my husband Rick who flirts with her all the time)
Yesterday I got a card in the mail that made me cry. Thanking me for always being there for 50 years. She went on to say that good friends are hard to come by and how great it is to have me in her life. Yesterday was another not so great day so that was just what the doctor ordered. That was my positive take away for the day!
Good friends are hard to come by. Those that still love you warts and all after 50 years are the best, aren't they? She knew me when my mom was alive. She was there when mom was so sick and I needed a soft place to fall and cry. She knew me through all the highs and lows of my life.
She was the one who convinced me my VW Bug could float as we did not float in this creek and I feared my father would kill me if I lived to tell this story. She asked me if I remembered our trip to try on bikinis at Carlisle's downtown? Oh, I sure did. (We rode the bus because we weren't old enough to drive yet.) I remember my bikini. It was yellow with little flowers all very 1970. She reminded me how we sat at the lunch counter at GC Murphy's and shared a salad because we thought we were so fat. Then left and bought an eclair at a local bakery.
Boy did we laugh about that. We would love to be so fat today we both said in unison.
Do you still have a best friend that time doesn't change?
I hope you do, they are the bomb!
School was easy for me and I have to admit that if I had really put work into my school work I would have excelled. But I was more concerned with the social life of high school. I loved school. I did well without much studying except in math. Algebra and calculus were horrific for me and math continues to be the royal pain in the ass it always was for me.
In my high school when you had your credits you could graduate as long as you were 16. You had to have a certain amount of credits in each category like math, sciences etc. I had the credits but why leave? I loved the social aspect of school and I sure didn't think it would be fun to leave school so early. Another year of cheerleading and socializing sounded like fun to me. So I stayed and enjoyed my senior year without the stress that others had to complete the right classes.
My year was full of fun classes in things I enjoyed. No more math, I had the requirements for college and I knew what college I was going to so I was just enjoying it all. But something changed and I decided I would take a year off before college. My father didn't even balk at this because as I have shared he was old school who thought girls/women did not really need college for anything more than finding a husband. I now had a new mom in my life and she was so overwhelmed with new babies and this new family she never said a thing about it. (if my mom had been alive there would have been no way I would have gotten away with that route of skipping college!!)
Instead, I got a job after graduation at a local bank. I lived at home until I was 18 1/2. I remember thinking that this midnight curfew was a royal pain and the only way I would ever be able to stay out later was to move out. So I saved my money like crazy.
I moved into a horrible little apartment who's floors in the kitchen were slanted.
We lived on the top floor and a young a married couple lived below us.
It was small, it was slanted and it had shag carpeting and paneling. 1970's in full force.
Our floors were not slanted slightly either.
They were noticeably leaning towards the back of the house.
At one point my boyfriend made a makeshift hockey goalie net at the end of the kitchen wall where everything rolled to. It was definitely a conversation starter.
For some reason it never bothered us, we found it humorous. It was a very tiny place. You had to walk up a slew of steps to get to our apartment door. Because of this we always knew someone was coming. I remember sitting in my bean bag chair listening to Bruce Springsteen sing Born To Run with wired headphones while my roommate rolled joints. Ah, to be young again.
My roommate decided to move on when our lease was up and go to college. I got a new apartment in a brand new shiny apartment complex. No slanted floors. We were the first people to live in this apartment. My best friend, Susan, since 6th grade, was now available to move in with me and we were so excited to be living together. We were 19 when we moved in. It was 1975.
We lived on the bottom floor because it was cheaper. Our windows were level with the ground outside. These windows in our living room came in handy a great many times. When we grocery shopped we put our bags in front of the window. Then we went inside the building and down the stairs and opened our window. We would take our bags right to the kitchen. It was far easier than making several trips in and out of the secure key building and down the stairs. We thought it was brilliant. We even shoveled snow from the windows so one, we could see outside, and two, to bring in our grocery bags.
To us this place was huge. We each had a very good size bedroom but we only had 1 bathroom. But we made it work.
We lived across from our local mall so, in all honesty, everything about this place was perfect for us.
Once during a snowstorm, the city was closed down. The interstate to get to my place was closed. So we stayed in and played music, smoked pot and painted a paint by numbers painting of dogs that she got from her mom for Christmas.
Apparently, the hall now reeked of our pot smoke.
The landlord was called unbeknownst to us.
Next thing we know there is a knock on our door. Oh oh.
We began the crazy run around the house spraying things that didn't help the smell one bit.
The young man who was our landlord came in and sat down. We knew.
Oh God did we know and we thought for certain we were going to be kicked out.
Instead, the man said to us, "Ladies, you can smell the pot down the hall. Since everyone comes down to this floor to go to the laundry room I have had several complaints. If you wish to do this please go to your bedrooms in the back or put something under your door or both. We can't have this smell lingering in the hall. Do you understand?" We said we did, we apologized and he left.
Whew. We thought for sure we were going to be kicked out and then what would we tell our parents? We got very lucky!
Susan and I lived together for a long time. Her parents owned a pizza shop and once a week they would give us a couple of uncooked but prepared pizzas and a couple of hoagies, subs or whatever you call them in your area (grinders) For two girls who liked to smoke pot and hated to cook this was a pretty sweet deal.
We never had food in our fridge. My boyfriend always brought food and so did Susan's. We were lucky like that.
Susan and I lived together until she got married. She moved to a burb 25 miles away and opened her own hair salon. We were no longer smoking pot and sitting around in bean bag chairs listening to albums loudly. We were growing up.
I too got married to that boyfriend. Susan started having kids. God, I love her kids. But as they got older and her life became so different from mine we did our separate things as one does. We talked on the phone but that was all we did most years. I got a divorce and went back to school, finally getting that degree. Susan owned a thriving hair salon and had 3 great children and moved to a big farmhouse on 70acres in the country.
Our lives couldn't have been more different.
Every time I was back to my hometown we got together. We had such different lives yet when we got together it was like no time had passed. We just picked up where we left off and it just has always been comfortable and perfect. I know that if I ever needed her she would be there for me in a heartbeat. No questions asked.
She said once that if I called from jail, she would be there to bail me out no questions asked. Then she said, "oh wait after we got in the car I'd have a lot of questions who the hell am I kidding?" Ah, that made me laugh. That is Sue! I wouldn't want it any other way.
I did not get to spend a single minute with her when I was home last summer. I was so disappointed as was she. I saw on facebook some photos just posted with her and her hubby cutting a Christmas tree down. Susan had a cane. I called her right away.
She is having toe surgery next week. The cane was not for anything more serious than that. The call lasted well over an hour. We got all caught up and we had some good laughs. It was like no time had passed at all.
When we were about to hang up she thanked me for calling and checking up on her. She said to tell her favorite flirt she said hi. (that, of course, is my husband Rick who flirts with her all the time)
Yesterday I got a card in the mail that made me cry. Thanking me for always being there for 50 years. She went on to say that good friends are hard to come by and how great it is to have me in her life. Yesterday was another not so great day so that was just what the doctor ordered. That was my positive take away for the day!
Good friends are hard to come by. Those that still love you warts and all after 50 years are the best, aren't they? She knew me when my mom was alive. She was there when mom was so sick and I needed a soft place to fall and cry. She knew me through all the highs and lows of my life.
She was the one who convinced me my VW Bug could float as we did not float in this creek and I feared my father would kill me if I lived to tell this story. She asked me if I remembered our trip to try on bikinis at Carlisle's downtown? Oh, I sure did. (We rode the bus because we weren't old enough to drive yet.) I remember my bikini. It was yellow with little flowers all very 1970. She reminded me how we sat at the lunch counter at GC Murphy's and shared a salad because we thought we were so fat. Then left and bought an eclair at a local bakery.
Boy did we laugh about that. We would love to be so fat today we both said in unison.
Do you still have a best friend that time doesn't change?
I hope you do, they are the bomb!
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