Bad, Bad, Bad Day

The headlines are yelling, "Drink it Now, Soon a Wine Shortage Globally."

The headlines are saying, "The Red Sox won the world series"

Those 2 sentences make me  very ill, tremendously sad and ready to throw myself into oncoming traffic.

I can't think of 2 worse things right now.

Oh sure, having one's health and having shelter but c'mon my life is wine (whine)

                              (AND I HATE THE RED SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I have to go to bed now and pull  the covers up over my head.

I'm Going to be on HGTV or DIY Next

I've been busy being Martha Stewart as I have said in another post recently.
On my lunch hours I have been painting a door and then adding new knobs and hardware.
I've had the contractor grade gold crap on my doors since moving in January 15, 2000.

My home is looking tired and needs a face lift.  Like me really. 
So as I mentioned we are doing some updating starting with what we can afford to do on the 1st floor. Thanksgiving we are doing our cabinets. I can't wait.
2nd floor next then 3rd floor.

I began by starting with the back door.
I painted the inside of this door only because the outside is a different color that matches all the outside doors. I then put on all the new hardware. (hinges, locks, knobs and other thingys)

I was pleased with my self because all I got from Rick was his good phillips head screw driver.  He and Izzy were at a Labrador swimming event.

That same day I did the pantry.  I had a hiccup with the pantry door because I put one of the hinges on backwards. Whoops, that has a slight issue with closing the door. 
Unfortunately Rick was home by this time and he had a good giggle at my expense.  
Lesson learned on those hinges.

Yesterday on my lunch hour I painted the closet door and the powder room door.
Then it was time to go to work. Damn!  I so wanted to finish this in one swoop.

It slowed down for a bit and I thought I could surely get one door done.
So I put on the closet door hinges and the hardware. Viola! Looked good to me.

Later in the day another break in the phones so I went downstairs and began to do the powder room knobs and hardware.  

I had already put in this new thingy below (pic 1)  as well as the 2nd thingy after that.
"Thingy" is the proper professional term you know.

 This is the 2nd thingy that was in this powder room door.

Now I did not have any door knobs in yet. So for those that don't know, this has a hole where the knob should be but you can see the top "thingy" through the hole.
Izzy came down the hall by me and I moved to grab her so she didn't step in my paint lying on the floor.  As I did this my fat ass hit the door and it slammed shut. Oops!

I couldn't open the damn door.  I grabbed another screwdriver and attempted to move this latch inside to open the door. Nope, that didn't work. I was now laughing. The light is on and I can't get in there so I can't even finish this. Thankfully the phone rang for the business and I rang upstairs to get the phone.  I kept going downstairs to try different things and I couldn't stop laughing at myself. I knew, I mean I really knew that if this was locked when Rick got home I would be given so much grief.  He would literally laugh his ass off and I just didn't want to be his joke yet again damn it.

I wrote to my sister Jennifer and my friend Katie. They just laughed at me they were no damn help. A few hours went by and each break I got I would run downstairs and try something else. I had to be missing something but what?

So I broke down and called Rick. 
I asked him, "IF someone had done .......what would you do?"
"Someone?" he asks and laughs.
He suggests I use the screwdriver and the rest of what he said is what I had already done. 
I didn't tell him that. I just said, "OK!"

Hours later I finally had an eureka moment at my desk while listening to a numb nut on the phone who wanted new counter tops. 
I went downstairs after my call and put on the knob for the outside since that was the only side that I could see. I thought I'd try turning it even though it wasn't on with screws yet. And Damn if that didn't work.
Whew. Why didn't I think of that before? How stupid am I? (don't answer that)

By the time the Big Guy got home it was completed and while he chuckled, he really didn't give me too much shit.  YAH! He said it all looked good and complimented me. 

I still have to do the front door and I admit I am a bit fearful of that one. A great deal more hardware, locks and a big ass handle.  But I can do it...I hope.
But my lunch hour today is the dentist. So not sure when I'll get to that one.
It's a shame because the little culprit who made me jump and close that door isn't here today. Izzy is at doggie day care today.

Speaking of this culprit above - Want to know why I didn't go with lever style as I like? Because Izzy knows how to open them. 

We had that style at the lake house to the back door of the daylight basement. 

We were all around the fire pit and she was inside asleep...or so we thought.

For some reason I looked over at the house and saw her on her back feet with her front paws on the door lever and out she came. My damn husband sees this and only says, "well that's new"  

So that she doesn't open the doors and let herself out I went with knobs. 

She may be smart but she doesn't have thumbs yet so we should be okay.

Hearing Giggles ....again

Allow me to set the scene for you.

Early morning in my kitchen.
The TV is on in the background while I am making our coffee and Rick is on the floor wrestling with Izzy. I am not looking at the TV.

I hear the anchor say they are looking for the missing  high end vermin.
I begin to laugh. Rick looks over at me and asks, "Margaret what is so funny?"
I point to the TV and said, "He just said they are looking for high end vermin? What on earth could make vermin high end ? Eww."

Of course now Rick is literally on the floor laughing his ass off.
That makes me realize I did it again. 
The anchorman must not have said what I thought and I wasn't watching the reel to see what was going on.

He grabs the remote and hits rewind for me to "hear this again".
This is what was really said.



Well I can try to make this optimistic and say it's wonderful to start your day with an old fashioned belly laugh.  Or I could cry because I have officially turned into the character Emily Litella as you can see below. Ah,  Nevermind.

Cold and Food Season

Why does this weather make me turn into a domestic goddess?
Yea, I'm laughing too.

But I've been busy cooking and baking and we all know I don't normally like to cook.
I prefer it when others cook for me, like that Big Guy I'm married to.
He just  made me such great chicken soup since I've been feeling under the weather. 
This man could put an old Jewish grandma to shame with his chicken soup. 
Yes this guy.

But of late I have just wanted to be cooking and baking
Is it the cold weather? Do I really need a Home Ec badge at this time of my life?
Has Martha invaded my body? (If she did, I want to know where she keeps the money!)

On Sunday Rick walked over to me in the kitchen and felt my forehead.
I pulled back and asked him what the hell he was doing.
"Checking to see if you have a fever." he said laughing.

I tilted my head like the little RCA dog and he laughed at me.
He said, "What is with all the good food lately?"

"I don't know.  I just feel like cooking and baking. Wine goes well with both you know."

"Are you drinking it or cooking with it. "

"What do you think?"

It started with a pork Osso Buco. 
He taught me how to make this. It is so yummy.

Stuffed peppers but instead of rice I used quinoa. 
This was very good if I do say so myself. 
He wasn't sure at first but then he devoured them and decided he liked it better than the traditional way with rice. 

Next I made a great roasted cauliflower soup topped with real crumbled bacon. I'm gettin' the hang of these soups. If I had known soup was so easy to make and be so damn good I would have tried this long ago! 

I made an apple pie. He kept telling me to move it so he didn't see it.
What? Put it low? Nope, the dog will see it even though he won't. 
I'm all of 5'1"and he is 6'2" - where could I put it that he couldn't see it? 
A drawer? The car? 
I can't reach where he can't see. 
"Just try not eating a whole pie over the weekend."  I tell him. 
He says it can't be done.  He claims these things are made ONLY to be eaten.
I say I won't bake anything then. He shouts, "NO! That is not what I meant"
Poor guy is all confused or perhaps it's his food coma.

Last night he had the mini meatloaves.
I made meatloaf but put them in a cupcake pan.
For some reason the Big Guy loves them like that. 
Bite size morsels of sustenance he calls them. Weirdo.

So last night after he bitched so much about traffic I thought it'd be nice to have one of his favorite dinners.  He's so easy this man when it comes to food. (well sex too for that matter)
He loves his food fancy, rustic or simple, it just doesn't matter because he just likes food. 
Those little meatloaves, roasted garlic mashed potatoes and corn.
He moaned a lot so I guess it was good.  (The meat loaf was gluten so I didn't eat any)
He made a meatloaf sandwich for work. "Happy Happy Happy", he said as he made it.
Something is so wrong with a person who is so friggin' happy at 6am. making a lunch.
You have no idea how that can bug the shit out of a non happy morning person.
But I digress....

I made him banana bread this morning before I came upstairs for work. 
I was sick of seeing those black bananas in the fruit bowl.  
So now the house smells great. 
All I need is a roaring fire and it will even make Martha Stewart vomit.

I now see why it was my destiny to receive the horrible fate of having to be gluten free.
I'd be the size of my house if I could eat this stuff.
As it is I have to watch what I eat just to maintenance chubby!

Random Local News.

The government shut down is over....for now.
We noticed this in two ways at our home.
The first day of the shut down our business phones were quiet. 
Like a faucet had just been turned off, that quiet.
They still are not ringing as they did. 
It can be scary when that happens let me tell you.
The glamorous life of the self employed.

The 2nd way we could tell the shut down was over was that traffic sure wasn't light anymore. Rick enjoyed the lighter traffic and so did I even without a commute.
That meant Rick wasn't all traffic cranky.

Yesterday it took Rick 55 minutes to go 3 miles in the morning. 
How do I know this you ask? 
Because Mr. Cranky Pants was texting me at my desk from his vehicle that was not moving.
Not sure what he wanted me to say. I just assumed he needed to vent and boy vent he did.

My commute is great, I walk up a flight of stairs to my home office.
Whew! 
The only thing I may encounter on the steps is a dog.....or dog hair.
Now these texts make me feel guilty, okay only a little.
But I like my commute. I like that I sit in jeans and a sweatshirt or worse.
I like that I'm not wearing makeup.
I like wearing my work out/sports bra with no damn intention of working out or playing any sports.  So I just feign empathy. 
Bad, bad wife!

In other local news there will be a party at our house after this damn governors election in a few weeks.
I am so sick of these ads!!
I am voting the lesser of two evils. Isn't that a nice way to make an important choice?
One man scares me so much it makes me shudder.
The other is just ICKY.
How's that for a professional term? Good use of language skills don't you think?

Seriously these are very bad choices but the scary one will make me need to leave town.
I find it hard to imagine anyone would be so clueless as to vote for him but then again the American people never cease to amaze me.

On that note let's be thankful I don't commute.
I can be cranky without it. 
And you my lovely readers would pay the price.

Sleep

I have insomnia.
I so long for slumber. I ache for it most nights.
I would like to go to sleep for 10 hours straight. Not wake up once. 
Just restful sleep like when you are a kid.
You need sleep.

My doctor gave me these pills. I don't like to take pills.
Rick has taken them and he thinks they are great because there is no grogginess.
Nothing scary like an ambien.
He explains it as a light switch after 8 hrs exactly you just wake up refreshed.
Which he does without an alarm. But I put off taking them. 
Chicken shit I guess.

So I tried it the other night after months of them sitting on my night stand.
I woke up after a few hours as I do and I walked around the house.
I read, I watched bad reruns. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
It didn't happen.
By the time Rick and the dog came downstairs at 5:15am I was already up.
I went through the day a mess. I could have napped if it weren't for work.

I have been having this cold thing looming over me. 
Not quite 100% here and not quite well either. Allergies? 
I am sore all over, my head hurts, my sinus's hurt, my eyes hurt. 
My throat is so sore and my ears hurt. 

So last night after I cleaned up the kitchen I poured myself a hot decaf.
(don't ask me why no tea, I loathe tea)
The heat felt good but it just wasn't sitting right. 
It was only 7:30p and I wanted to crawl into bed I explained to Rick. 
Rick told me that I am an adult on most days and that I should be able to go to bed whenever the hell I want to. So he marched me upstairs and made me go to bed.

I did my lotions and old lady cream regime and crawled into bed. 
I turned on the TV thinking there was no damn way I would be able to fall asleep at 7:50p. That's all i remember until 5:05a when my dog wanted to go outside. 
It was wonderful. I even had a dream. I don't recall a dream in years.
A damn good one too. Gerard Butler. (insert swoon here)

Yes, sleep is good. 

Summer is Officially Over.

This morning on my first walk with Izzy, and her 2nd walk, it was a whopping 37 degrees.

I know this because -

1. I was freezing. 

2. Doug Hill on ABC 7 told me so as I walked into my house.  

This afternoon Izzy and I took another walk and it was really nice out.

I put on my fleece jacket as I left the house but I only got about half a block away and I had to take it off. 

I needed to get out of the office or I was going to scream at customers. Better to walk away than to be unprofessional. I figured the sunshine and a walk with Iz would do me good.

It in fact did. 

I so wish we would get color here in fall. They turn brown they fall and the trees are bare.

We get some yellowish type color but nothing like the northeast and where I'm from. 

I so miss the colors of fall. 

Each time I see one leaf I take a picture.

Pathetic isn't it?

But here was that lone colored leaf among the brown dead ones on the ground.

I sat on a log and watched Izzy chew a stick. 

Yes, my day with customers today was so bad that this was thrilling to me!

Doesn't her coat look better? This new food as well as an Omega 3 pill daily has brought her coat back to the way it used to be before this damn Lyme Disease. She is shiny and soft all over again. We are trying to give her a good quality of life with this dreaded disease but some days it breaks my heart to see her limp or just not be able to do what she wants. 

She is not even 5 years old yet.  

As we were getting up to leave two strapping young men (with really nice arms) were leaving their fishing hole.

They stopped to pet Izzy and chat. 
The one with the nice arms had caught a pretty nice size bass and I said something to him about it. He said, "You know a bass from a trout?"  
I laughed and said, "Sadly I do know my fish."
So then they were testing me, it was funny.
I told them I have a husband who is a big time fisherman so you kind of learn over the years a northern pike from a small mouth bass, a striper from a walleye etc. 
Apparently that was pretty funny to them. I told them I was happy to amuse them. 
They loved Miss Izzy and as they were walking out she wanted to follow them. 
The little ho loves her men!

I didn't want them to see me taking their pictures so I stayed back. 
I don't have a large zoom so it is what it is. 
I just felt like this picture needed the Andy Griffith show theme song.  
You know the one, the whistling with Pa and Opie off to the fishing hole.

My Life

My life written by someone else.

A Funny

The other morning we were watching our DVR of Letterman with our morning coffee.
At the beginning of this he talks about being in his 50's and the friends you make during this time of your life. To us it is worth watching. It cracked us up.
Then the part of making your wife laugh made Rick howl because apparently he feels the same. Who knew?
Even after 26 years I'm learning new things. :-)

Oh That Damn Tramp Again

Remember the tramp  mistress Reille Hunter? 
If you don't, she is the videographer who broke up the marriage of John and Elizabeth Edwards and killed Edwards political career.
Well, the damn ho is at it again.
Why can't these people go away quietly?

She is now writing another book but this time she is apologizing.
She said she realizes she is not a victim in this story and that she hurt people. 
WHAT? You thought you were a victim because you went after a married man?
Of course now she is blaming this on being the product of infidelity.
Apparently she didn't know this was wrong because she was raised in a family of people who cheated. 

If her father had been a murderer I suppose that would have been her defense.
"Well I'm just a product of my upbringing, I couldn't help but murder"

Oh my God, can't people just suck it up and walk away from the "fame?" 
But that would be a fame whore wouldn't it? Hmm....that may be apropos
You see Reille you fucked up, so now go and  sincerely apologize to all you hurt and go away. 
Don't blame everyone else for the reason you did these things.
Move on. Get a job like other people and work for your money. Don't hurt more people for your money. Don't use the guise of apologizing for more money 'cause no one is buying it honey. If this is a real apology then I am 5'6", blonde and flat chested!

Who buys these books?
Why does one want to give this tart any more money for sleeping with John Edwards and having his kid? That is the even bigger question here.

She claims this tour is an apology tour. No, it's a book tour plain and simple.

Oh this makes me angry. Can you tell?

Game Shows

Here is what I've learned this week.

Rick likes to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.
I have not learned why he likes these show.
I watched (sort of) with him this week.

Because I can not spell well, Wheel of Fortune can be a challenge for me. 
Yet I still get the puzzles long before these nit wits do.  
I think these are the enthusiastic rejects from Jeopardy.

Then there is Jeopardy. 
I'm just not ugly or frumpy enough to be on Jeopardy.  (yet)
Oh my, where do they find these people? Star Trek Convention I assume.
But even I kicked their frumpy big asses the day I watched. 
(Must be getting easier)

Looks like only Price is Right for me. 

I am lost.

I saw a conversation my hubby was having with my niece online.
I believe it was through Facebook.

I had to ask Rick what in the hell was she saying?
I swear to you this is a smart young woman. 
She is currently in grad school while interning and working.
She is doing it all and doing it very well. 
But for the love of God I could not figure out what she was saying to Rick.
It made no damn sense. At least to me.

I asked him to please translate for me. I kept seeing 'Idk'.  
I thought it was "I'd" and perhaps fat fingers added the letter K. 
I assumed it was a typo. But after the 3rd time I then thought it meant something like all the other abbreviations that I don't know.
Sure enough it meant 'I don't know. '  Yes, I didn't know either. Jeez
Really? You can't type that out? There is no limit for text here. 
She had a full sentence and not a single word. 

I am apparently so old that I  just don't get that type of "talking"
Hell, I was never even good at pig latin.

I am an official failure in modern technology.
Next I will be like my mother who is unable to fax, use email, understand voicemail vs. an answering machine and how to use a GPS which will render me home bound.

Saturday Tid Bits

Baseball.
I live for this.
Isn't that the MLB saying?

Granted my team is not in the playoffs on their way to the world series.
But that doesn't mean I'm not watching some great baseball.

Friday night I was watching the St. Louis Cardinals playing the LA Dodgers.
You see there are 2 teams that I despise. I mean to tell you it is a very deep hatred.
The two teams are the Boston Red Sox and the LA Dodgers.
So needless to say I am rooting for the Cardinals.

Friday night I was watching the game with Cardinals vs Dodgers. It was tied 2-2 forever.
In fact I fell asleep on the sofa and woke to everyone in bed except me and the game.
It was now the 10th inning and it was still 2-2. It went to 13 innings and the Cards won.
I was thrilled! And now wide awake!

I watched the game on Saturday as well. I was hooting and hollerin' and wishing those last 2 pitchers Carlos Martinez and Rosenthal were in our bullpen. They smoked the Dodgers and it was a beautiful thing.  Now if they can just keep this up and kick Boston's ass (because let's face it the Tigers 

 can't beat them) I will be a happy happy girl.

My team won't be in a playoff for at least another decade.
But I can still hope and pray to keep the stinkin' Dodgers and Bearded Rat Bastards from Boston winning a world series ring.  Yea, Boston has won 7 WS rings, but they have 20 more to even catch up to my team. hee hee I love that!

_________________

Took a class today at the Microsoft store. We had to buy a tablet for Rick when his laptop died. He uses this out in the field for work. We thought instead of a new laptop why not a Surface Pro. So we did indeed go the tablet route.  It's been great but definitely a learning curve. We had a couple of things we were still struggling with and since we received a free class when we bought it we took them up on it.  The young gal was super good and patient. We even stumped her a couple of times.   It was a good class.  But being at a mall on a Saturday is not my idea of fun.  Or Rick's. So we high tailed it out of there as soon as we were done. I don't know how people can roam the malls it makes me crazy.
__________________

It's been raining here for a week. Oh not Seattle mist, but full on pouring down rain. Today it was more of the Seattle mist I remember.  It should be done by Sunday. I love rain but a week of this much rain is enough. The creeks and rivers are at their max. If this were to keep up I imagine floods will be soon. So thankfully this will be done soon. Besides Izzy hates walking in the rain and I'm not thrilled. Ever try to hold the umbrella over your head, the leash and pick up the poop all at the same time?  Impossible. Yea, that didn't work out too well for me.  'nuff said.

Traffic

Nothings seems to get peoples panties in a twist like traffic.

I don't like it but I'm used to it. Okay as used to it as you can be I suppose.

It's funny how every place I've lived has a different issue with traffic.

When I lived in Seattle they had what they referred to as 'Sunshine Slow Downs'

For the life of me I never understood this. 

The traffic came to a halt due to the sun. They drove slower.

Think about how odd that is. Why? They drove faster in rain. 

That is the opposite of the rest of the world. They drove slow normally. 

Seriously if they were going 55 and you wanted to pass the comment often heard was 55 was the limit you could go slower. OMG now that was something that drove me crazy.

That is not an issue here. Unless from Maryland you don't see people going the speed limit often. Most always over. I say unless from Maryland because we in VA believe they are horrible drivers and they impede traffic. I am laughing as I type this because I know I'll hear from my Maryland readers about this. They think we are the damn fools who drive too fast and weave. Yep, that's me.

In my hometown if it takes you more than 10 minutes to get anywhere they have their panties in a twist.  "it took me 15 minutes to get home" my mom once proclaimed in a fit of frustration. Rick and I laughed. 15 minutes to go anywhere here is unheard of. Rick worked 12 miles from home and the best time he ever made was 45 minutes. It normally was an hour door to door for 12 miles.

In my hometown I would hear friends and family members say silly things very proudly like, "I don't go past xyz street ever." They say that as though it's a badge of honor. No, you sound like a damn fool!  I've heard that so many times it makes me cringe. It's like if it is outside there 5 mile radius in all directions they won't go.

Can't get away with that anywhere else I have ever lived so I find that silly.

So this week we have had constant rain and that reeks havoc on the roads. 

It makes for a bad commute for people unlike myself who have a commute. 

Now they are saying there will be a boat load of 18 wheelers driving around the beltway wasting gas protesting the price of gas and the government shut down. 

This began today and will continue all weekend. That just seems crazy to drive around aimlessly to protest the price of gas while wasting gas. 

I must be missing something.

The truckers are planning to do this over 3 lanes and just keep circling the beltway. That ought to make for a fun commute huh?

Rick and I figured we'd pay the tolls and use the toll road for where we are going tomorrow. We are staying off the beltway for sure. At least as much as we can.

We are going to the Microsoft store tomorrow for a class. 

When Rick got his tablet, Surface Pro, he got a free class for the both of us. 

Not sure we need it now but we're going for a couple of items and who knows, there may be things we don't know that we don't know. 

I am sure this class will be taught by a very young man/woman who is younger than Rick's daughter. This is a private class of just Rick and myself so that helps.

I am sure this young person will  laugh at us when we leave. Perhaps he won't wait until we leave. That's okay we are the old folks who at times need help with new technology. I'll wear that hat.

TGIF

Rain

It's raining it's pouring the old man is snoring.
Remember that song?

Well, it has been doing that for 24 hrs and I Love It!!!
I think it was supposed to continue through Sunday.
This means finishing my book, making soup and drinking wine.
Wine goes with everything you see, sun, snow, rain, hail, hurricane warnings etc.
Don't believe me? Would you drink a long island iced tea during a snowstorm?
Why of course not. But a nice glass of Malbec or Cabernet would work nicely.
See I know of what I speak.....Wine all the time.

I am halfway through a book that I have to read for book club and this one is the first one I have liked. Not love, but it's not boring the shit out of me either.
It's about a family dealing with mom's cancer. 
It is a true story written by a book editor, her son.
Guess it was easy for him to get this book made huh?

During a chapter that discusses him going to chemo with his mom, I had a flashback of going to chemo with my Aunt. (my mom's sister. My mom who died not my mom who I refer to as visiting last week)

My Aunt had breast cancer as did her sister that died (mom) Then she got melanoma.
Which is odd from a woman who never spent any amount of time in the sun.

Because my Aunt lives in my hometown I would call her regularly to check up on her.
She was "single" She is the Aunt who never came out but we all knew that her friend Mary was more than just her friend over the 49 years I knew her.

My Aunt was telling me on the phone one day that she had a bus the city provided to pick her up to go to chemo. But next week it wasn't available at the right time. She called Madeline and Elaine (cousins) and neither could pick her up. She was so matter of fact and just said, "I think I'll be just fine driving myself if I have to. I have never felt like I couldn't drive there. They just make such a fuss these people."  "these people" was a phrase she used a lot about everyone and everything.

I called her back the next day after talking to Rick.  
I told her I was coming up to Erie that week to see my folks so I could take her to chemo if she wanted me to. She was thrilled. Yes, I lied. 
I didn't have an intention of driving 7 hrs up there the next week but I couldn't let her drive herself. I had just lost my job and figured I had the time. This Aunt did so much for me over my lifetime and especially after my mom died that I had to go up there and help her.

As we enter the cancer center everyone says hello to her by name. 
Now I must admit that over the years this Aunt has embarrassed me as well as spoiled me rotten. She is loud and rough around the edges and when I was young that was embarrassing to me. As I got older I realized that no one embarrasses you, they embarrass themselves and if you love 'em just let 'em do their thing. It doesn't affect you.

My Aunt is in pure form this day. She is loud, she is telling everyone who is in any room we enter that her niece from Virginia is here with her. 
I smile/nod and or shake hands with them. 

I mean everyone including the person who came into empty the wastebaskets she had to tell, "My niece from VA is here with me today."
They then ask me questions which of course my Aunt Dee answers. All very amusing to me.  I realized by her behavior at the Cancer Center how happy it made her for me to drive up there to take her and I often wondered if she knew I really wasn't visiting my parents, that I just came up to do this for her. Neither of us ever spoke about it. I was happy to do it and thrilled it made her so happy.

We saw doctors, we had blood drawn, we sat in waiting rooms waiting for what seemed like hours.  Then before we had to enter the chemo room she decides she must have a cigarette. She announces this to the waiting room.  No one gasps like I think would happen.
They all laugh instead. I don't find this funny. She goes on to tell all who will listen that I wouldn't let her smoke in my car. She's correct. She tells them I had a convertible and she told me to put the top down so she could smoke. She is now got everyone laughing....it was fall and chilly and she wanted me to put the top down just so she could smoke. 
I wouldn't have it. She is keeping all these sick people in stitches. 
I just watch her with amusement.
But then she grabs her cigarette and goes outside in front of the building to smoke.

A nurse followers her and I realize I better get off my ass and see how this plays out.
My Aunt stood out there and inhaled deeply then put her cigarette hand in the air.
The nurse jumped to try to grab it from her. 

That was when I walked outside.
I heard the nurse say that there is no smoking at the cancer center for God's sake.
I laughed and shook my head. My Aunt's response to this comment is, "Well I am helping because everyone who drives by will see why the hell I am here then. It's all good for you."

The nurse continues to jump up to reach and grab my Aunt's cigarette and somehow she continues to get puffs in. I am appalled and amused at this whole damn thing I am seeing.  

I go to my Aunt and say, "c'mon that's enough tormenting her, let's put it out and I'll let you smoke on the way home."
She listened. And she didn't smoke in my car on the way home either. She didn't even try.

We were then escorted into the chemo room reeking of cigarettes. Honestly, my Aunt was nuts. The room was lined with little cubicles with curtains along the perimeter. 
The rest of the room was big overstuffed recliner chairs.
The nurse's station was circular in the middle.

When we walked in we saw a variety of people in these chairs all saying hello to Aunt Dee Dee.
She took her seat and suddenly she looked sick to me. Her arms and back of her hands were so thin and scared up from being poked and prodded. 
A young woman came over to inject the needle into her and she put her arms behind her back and said, "NO"  
Dee continued with, "I'm sorry you hurt me last time could someone else please do it today?" 

My Aunt said this so softly it took me by surprise. 
I had never heard her speak like this in my whole life. It was as if she were a child.
The young woman didn't seem offended but instead tapped my Aunt's hand in understanding and walked away. 
Another big woman came over. She had the kindest face. 

She and my Aunt chatted and in the needle went.  They gave her a blanket and she put her head back. 
My Aunt whispered to me, "That is the fattest person I have ever seen but she is so fucking nice to everyone. God gave her a burden and that makes her nice to everyone because she understands having to deal with shit."

I heard it and thought, What the hell are you talking about?  But I didn't say anything I let it lay there. She was in her own way being nice, in a way only my Aunt could do.

I asked my Aunt if she read while here or preferred to sleep. 
She said I like to sleep if I can. Do you mind?
I told her it was fine that I brought a book to read. 
She grabbed my hand and held it and fell to sleep.  
She looked so frail & sick and I felt good that I could be here for her. 

When she was done she was hungry. I thought that was odd but who the hell am I to tell her she can't eat. We went across the street and had a little lunch.  She wanted to go to Mary's house next. So we went to see Mary who was having her own health issues and wasn't leaving the house much anymore. Dee Dee went to lay down in Mary's room and Mary and I sat at the table and chatted over coffee. I loved Mary as much as my Aunt.

It was a nice day and I know it meant a lot to my Aunt. 
It meant a lot to me too.
I found the chemo room so beige and depressing and just can't imagine having to deal with that.  You would think they would make it a happier brighter place at the Cancer Center.
I would have liked to see reading material and not the kind you get in your doctor's office from 1962. I mean real books and up to date variety of magazines, maybe even a TV or music to entertain them at each chair. 
The walls could be a pleasant color and the draperies would be homey. 
This room shouted sick and dying. 

There was a very young woman who was knitting while getting her chemo. She was 27 my Aunt informed me. She was pretty and she talked to me about her knitting. I so wanted to ask what she was in for but didn't think that was cancer etiquette.  Later my Aunt shared with me. My Aunt has talked to them all and whether they liked it or not if she wanted to talk you were going to hear her. 

My Aunt lived a year after that. 
My visit to the chemo room has stuck with me.
Then reading this book last night it all came back to me. 
The room described in the book was as awful as the one I was in. 
You'd think someone would change that.
A brighter color on the walls would go a long way.
And you could have a book and music swap for all ages. 
It would make a much happier place during a very sad & difficult time.

Nature or Nurture?

After being in my hometown with family it got Rick and I talking about nature vs. nurture.
I believe nature is the reason people are the way they are.
He thinks it is both.
I see his point but.... 
He talks about how his parents formed a lot of who he is. He talks about how his father, his idol, really shaped his work ethic and his love of gardening and working with his hands. 
He is adopted so I see his point. We met his birth mother. She is an awful woman who was cold hearted, a liar, and lazy. She is from the school of  "I want a hand out"
So I see his point. But he has never met his birth father so maybe he has a lot of his traits.
He didn't inherit anything from his birth mother except his looks and music.

If two children are raised the same way at the same time how else can you explain that they are so opposite of one another than nature? To quote Popeye, I yam what I yam.
That is so true if you look at the 5 daughters in my family. 

Sure one can make changes to ones behavior but fundamentally they are the same person.
At least I think so. 
We both know a narcissistic person. OH my, a poster child for narcissism. 
Raised to be that way? No!
So how else can you explain the bad behavior and self importance and the inability to see others and only themselves? I mean to tell you this person has no concept of others or will even ask about your life or what you are doing. Doesn't care. Only about them 24/7.
They are who they are is my theory. It drives my husband crazy and he gets angry about them and I just say, " They are who they are why do you expect something else? You are just getting yourself upset needlessly" But I do understand why he feels that way. 
They are frustrating at times.  I'm just over it and don't expect anything different. 
He still holds out hope.  That is where the problem lies to me. I still think it's nature.

Rick continues to bring up valid points so now I'm on the fence.
Your thoughts? Nature or Nurture? Or a combo of both?

Halloween 2013

Halloween candy around here must be something I don't care for like peanut butter cups or kit kats & snickers to name a few. 
These types of candy will sit in my house forever without me eating them.

I always buy full size bars from Costco for Halloween because if I were a kid I would hate that mini shit.
So when there is candy left over I normally put it in the fridge in the garage. 
Especially if I like it - it needs to be far away.

One year I had snickers and peanut butter cups left over, in fact an enormous amounts left over that year. Rick likes both those candy bars but he doesn't eat chocolate like I would so it lasts forever.

I had a wonderful neighbor named Fran. 
She called me one month and said, "Your Halloween candy still in your garage?" 
I said, "yep, both peanut butter cups and snickers. why? you want some?"
She said, "Oh please!! I'm PMS-ing and I could sure use some chocolate."
I told her I'd open the garage door and to help herself to as many as she wanted.
She did.
From then on I got these types of calls and they made me giggle.
I tried to just give them all to her but she said it was better to call me.

Last year we had 2 kinds of bars again. 
Rick's fav, peanut butter cups, and I don't recall the other but it must have had peanuts.  
One young man was with his little brother and he asked, "do you have anything that isn't peanuts for my little brother?"  
I didn't and I felt terrible. 
Then I had some asking about gluten free and peanut free and on it went all evening. 
I felt like shit. Why hadn't I thought about that before? 
So this year I am getting something that can go in another bowl that is peanut and gluten free for kids with allergy issues. (taste free too I imagine.)
I surely would hate being a kid who could die from nuts and you can't go trick or treating for fear of your life for Pete's sake.

I read where kit-kats are peanut free but could be made in a place with nuts. 
But they aren't gluten free so I need to do some homework and find a bar that is both.
It appears I may only be able to buy gooey candies like fish or mike and ikes or something like that.  Damn, I like those. Banished to the garage they will go if left over.

It's a royal pain in the ass but I don't want to see another little face like I did last year who was so sad and disappointed there was nothing for him.  Seriously Rick and I vowed right then after that sad little face that this year we would be more aware.

I seem to always have eventful Halloweens don't I? Remember this one?
I know flask does.   :-)