Out from under the Covers

 I am going to talk about a few things today.

1. Why do crime shows calm me?  I hate all violent movies, yet Dateline, 48 Hours, 20/20, or Someone You Know are relaxing for me and shut out the world.  

You know it's always the spouse or piece on the side but I still enjoy it. 

I tell Rick if he wants out, don't kill me, just leave.

He always says he can't leave because he will never be able to watch TV again or know his medications. 

I used to say, "Oh, you can leave me, but I'm going with you. "

So basically, that means we won't be killing each other. :-)

I am not fond of the world or the USA right now, and it makes me very unsettled and anxious, yet a crime show makes me calm and relaxes me.  

I do believe I may be missing an important gene.

2. Speedos are back.  They should not be. NO, just NO!

They look horrific on Olympic Swimmers. No, just no.  We called them Dick Suits in my youth.  I don't care how ripped you are - they are gross!  Put on a real pair of big boy swim trunks for God's sake. 

3. I don't believe in violence. I have never hit anyone. 

Okay, my little sister when I was 10, but no one else or ever again. (because my mom would have killed me)

But if one more person asks me if it's hot enough when the temp is 102, I will personally hit them. Then hit them again with my sweaty shirt with boob sweat.  Hey boob sweat is real people and it's alwful.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLQTxN6JLhS/?utm_source=ig_web_button_native_share

I can not embed this, no way, no how.  If you want to see one of the best commercials from Canada, please click on the link if you have an Instagram account. It's worth it!

It's Friday, so I have posted my Friday memes. Have a nice and relaxing weekend.

There is a theme here -

Rick and I are going to get a side hustle here at Saggy Aggies for some extra cash.  

What do you think?

My Mental Health

Anything exciting happen since I was here? 

An illegal war perhaps?

I'm taking some mental health days. 

The world is heavy and scary right now. 

I think I need to go under the covers for a bit.

Be back soon.

Hot yet?

My annual bitch of summer.

As you all know, I don't like summer since moving to NC.  It's just too damn hot and humid.  All summer, you hear, "feels like."  Up north, all you'd hear in winter was "wind chill."  Do we really need that info?  I mean if you tell me it's windy and 12 F I know it's damn cold I don't need to hear it will feel like 2F.

Same with heat.  Today, for instance, it's 100.  The feels like is 105.  So what?  
The humidity is at 93%. I know that it's 100 and humid. I don't need to know any more than that. I need to stay indoors until October.   

It is supposed to be in the high 90s and 100s for the foreseeable future. Yippee. 

Now, young Peg would be out there with baby oil soaking up all the sun rays I could and fry my skin.  Old Peg hides now when it's hot and prefers not to fry her skin like a chicken wing. I have a stand-up fan that one attaches a hose to. It oscillates and mists you.  I love it.  The only way to be outside these days in NC.

I have seen photos and videos from around the world on the news and on social media. The world hates this man as much as us.  I am always happy to see the world not support him.

One day when Rick and I were on the boat on the lake this big ole cigarette boat went by at such a high rate of speed it felt like we were going to capsize. I was scared and Rick calmly said,

 "ha,little penis"

Laughter

Have you ever laughed so hard that you can't breathe?

Well, the Big Guy and I did that very thing yesterday.

We have these zero-gravity chairs that we like for the beach, etc.

Yesterday afternoon, in the 'feels like' 105 heat, my husband wanted to clean the chairs up. We got them out of storage because he thought we'd take them to the beach. I told him the resort would have chairs.  Goofball.

Apparently, the chairs sitting there were a task he felt he had to tackle.

Of course not one task on his honey-do list.

I saw Rick on the patio trying to unfold them.  A 3-way fold, shall we say.

Well, I saw him struggling and, assuming this was an issue with his left hand from the stroke, I went out to assist.  I tried and I couldn't do it.

Rick asked if I had a stroke.  We both laughed.

Now I have one of the chairs as he is working on the other chair. 

I am not looking at him.  I am focused on this damn chair.

He asks, Hey, can you pull this for me. (and he laughed).

Oh, not now, mister!  I turned around, fearing what the hell he was asking me to pull the dirty old man, but it was a leg of the chair.  Oops. :-)

I did pull as hard as I could to the point I fell on my backside. 

Of course, that freaked Rick out because of my back. I told him I was fine.

So we tried again and again, and we just started laughing until we couldn't breathe. We tried every which way we could. We are both on the floor rolling around, and I admit I was howling.  I may have peed a little.  

Honestly, Rick's comments during this only made it funnier.

My neighbor, who cuts through our yard and down our driveway to get to her brothers, heard us.

She thought we were hurt.  She came around the garage and saw us on the floor.  She thought we were laughing, but wasn't sure.  She came onto the patio and said, "You two okay?"  That only made us laugh harder.

We told her we were fine.  Told her what we were trying to do.  She thought we were fighting or hurt.  She wasn't sure what she was hearing.  

Just snorts, laughter, a bit of howling, a scream, and more laughing.  

Then she said, "Oh, is that a zero gravity chair?  I've always wanted one. May I try sitting in it?"  

Rick smirks and hands her the one he was trying to undo.  

She unfolded it like that!  Holy shit she did not just do that. Rick said, "Sharon, I've had a stroke, and as he pointed to me, he says, I don't know what her problem is"  

How long does he get to use this excuse? They thought it was funny.

The chairs are now folded back up and leaning against my potting table.  Will we ever be able to unfold them again?  Who the hell knows? 

But I'll tell you we haven't had a laugh like that for a long, long time.

In other news....

I tried to show you a video of this, but I'll tell you instead.

I really liked some things about the protests, aside from the protests themselves.  The signs were clever and smart. But then those people read books.  

I absolutely LOVED that the Canadian National Anthem was played on huge speakers outside of the white house for most of the duration of his "parade." I also loved how giddy the man was in the video.

Friday, I'll post some signs that made me chuckle.

Betty

Due to the rain on Monday, I decided to give myself a bit of extra time and left at 7:55am.  The drive was a bit worse than normal due to the commute and rain up to Durham during 'rush' hour traffic, but I made it there at 9:38 am, and my appointment was at 9:30am.

Thank goodness my doctor was running late. When you go to the Eye Center, your appointment is never less than 2 hours, generally 3.  

I had pictures, tests, and drops to view my mass (Betty) on my retina. 

She is holding steady and not growing.  

It will never go away; we just have to keep it at bay. 

But there is scarring on my eye that had the cataract, the Betty eye. 

It happens, they tell me, after cataract surgery sometimes. I have a friend who told me this after her husband had to do the exact procedure on his eye. 

So I knew this was a possibility.  

Anyway, Dr. S. said he wanted to remove it, and I was told it would be a snap, and less than 5 minutes to do.  But he left out a few things.

Now I knew I was having this done on this appointment, but I was told this was no big deal. I was told I could drive home. 

Since I was there for 3 hours, I didn't want Rick to have to sit there for something so minor.

The doctor applied a gel substance to a contact lens that was attached to a contraption, allowing him to move and manipulate it if necessary. It also keeps my eye still.  (By the way, my doctor was watching, but his resident did the surgery)

It was done with a laser, and it was indeed quick. My dr. was called out and left the room when someone came to get him. He apologized and told me I was in good hands and left me with the resident.

When it was over, I told him I couldn't see; it was like vaseline was on my eye. 

He said, "Yes, that is the gel and it will go away by the evening or early morning."  

" Well, that's fine, but how do I drive home?"

 " You have another eye."

" Yes, but you dilated it, and it's blurry too."

He laughed and told me to go to the cafeteria or Starbucks in the building until my good eye calmed down. It shouldn't be too long, he assures me.

It was already noon. There was no way I was going to hang out at the hospital. Although a coffee sounded good since I had nothing to eat or any coffee that morning.  

I got in my car and drove an hour home. I stayed in the right-hand lane so as to not annoy other drivers and went the speed limit. Rare.

I could not read a single sign, and I was thanking all the powers that be that it stopped raining.  My sight was now horrible, and I had no business driving. I imagined this would be like Rick driving without his glasses. 

Glasses were of no help to me. I was scared, I admit. 

When I got home, I collapsed.  My eye was throbbing; it felt heavy.

I just wanted to sit and close my eyes.  I did and fell asleep for an hour.

I can see now that removing the scarring has made the cloudiness completely go away. It worked. 

But, I will never ever do that again. Drive that is.

I will make Rick drive me, and if sexual favors are the ploy, so be it.😁

______________________

As for my post on my favorite Canadian things that happened this weekend.

Every time I try to load an Instagram video, it won't load.

So if I put a link to it, you all tell me you don't have Instagram.

Would you like the links tomorrow? As well as some of the memes and stories to share.

Monday Morning

I have so much I wish to share about the weekend. But I'm exhausted. 

I have to leave here at 8:15 a.m. to be at the Duke Eye Center in Durham.
Not fond of the drive, let alone at this hour.  Besides, since my retirement, I don't do anything at 8:15 in the morning.  Oh, I may have my coffee and try to wake up, but I am certainly not ready for human consumption.  

Wish me luck.

I will fill you in on all the laughter and happiness from our friends up north!
God, how I love me some Canadians!

If anyone knows how to put up a reel from Instagram here, please share with me.

Okay off to bed so I can get up early - ha, like I'm going to fall asleep. 

😇

 

Weekend

 Got Weekend Plans?

Our plans are not exciting. 

We were discussing how, when we were in our 30s, our weekends were jam-packed. We were in constant motion and yet never tired. What a difference 30+ years makes. 

There is a gluten-free bakery that we drove to when we first moved here. 

Before the dog died, before Rick got sick, etc. We were exploring the new area we moved to. Rick had heard about this place and decided we should take a drive.  Well, it was further out than one would drive to regularly. I bought some bread and 4 cupcakes, and never went again.

Everything was so damn good too.

So Rick read that it was opening a store in Raleigh right by Wegmans (the best grocery store in the US). Rick asked if I'd like to go have a coffee and something sweet. He read that they have a cafe there as well.  

My God, we live on the edge, don't we?

The world as it is scares the hell out of me.

The US is a hot mess. We have Hitler in office, who didn't win but stole the election with the help of Elon.  He is killing everything and everyone.

Kennedy is an idiot. He has cleaned out the CDC.  God help us.

I am praying for severe thunderstorms and lightning all day tomorrow in DC for his $#@! parade.  

If we are all lucky, Mango Mussolini will be struck by lightning. Then a bldg will be struck and fall on them all and kill the whole lot of those assholes.

Again, I go back to the movie I watched in the 80s with Orson Wells narrating Nostradamus.  All the things said for this year are happening. 

I fear the last one he talked about will be soon.  

I no longer watch the news. Rick does, and I leave the room.

Things stick with me and I can't shake them. I have to stay away from a lot of this shit. I am a Pisces and I will stick my head in the sand.

In the meantime, I plan to eat some sweets tomorrow and have a great cup of coffee, and enjoy the day with my guy.

Hope you have nice plans.

Heat

We spent Sunday planting flowers in the window boxes and planter boxes, as well as all the things outside, in over 90-degree heat. Weeding is fun in that kind of heat. 

When we finished, we came inside. It felt cool, but then anything would after hours in that heat. We both showered and met in the kitchen. We got something to drink and collapsed on the sofa.

Baseball was now on, and we settled in for a truly horrific game. 

I asked Rick if he was warm. He said he was comfortable. 

I was dying, so I turned on a table fan to blow air on me. 

Now I am just sweating bullets. Rick finally says, Gee, it's warm in here."  

I go to the thermostat and it reads 79 degrees. Geez Louise. 

We realized our air conditioning is not working. 

Rick fiddled as he is prone to do, but still not working.

When it reached 83 in the house, we tried going out onto the patio.

(That's how bad the game was)

We sat on the patio for quite a while.  It wasn't a lot cooler, it was in the high 70s at 10p. But cooler than the stagnant air in the house.. 

There was a bit of a breeze that was not in the house, and it made it all tolerable.

I knew that our AC company had an after-hours line, so I called. 

They would call first thing on Monday, their voicemail said. They actually did!

In the meantime, Rick spread out on the outdoor sofa and was snoring in no time. 

At 1a.m. I tried to wake him, but he asked to let him stay there. 

He slept there until 5am when a neighbor's rooster woke him.

I slept on the sofa inside because it was cooler than our bedroom. But my God, it was still sticky and icky! At first, the leather sofa was cold, but it wasn't feeling that way any longer.

We took cool showers in the a.m. and waited for our AC Man.  

He arrived on time - go figure.  He was so damn nice.  He told us the issue and proceeded to fix it.  Something was stuck in the line so they blew it out.  Sounds easy enough but it took a while.  I was standing by an air vent when all of a sudden I felt it blowing on me.  It's fixed, I yelled while jumping up and down like a kid.  

Monday night, we had cool air.  It was wonderful to sleep in bed and to be comfortable.  How did we all survive in 90+ degree heat with high humidity?

They were a tougher stock back then. 

My Dad did plumbing/heating, and air conditioning.  

On a hot summer day, he brought home an air conditioner. 

It was 1973, I was a junior in school, and my step-mom had just given birth to my 2nd new sister.  The youngest two were a newborn and a 2-year-old. 

The heat was tough on them, and on my new mom. I saw it before my eyes.

The poor 2-year-old would be so hot that she would just remove her clothes.

I believe this is why my father caved and we got air conditioning.  

We older kids were excited; we didn't care about the reason it was happening, just that it was happening.

I am certain Dad got this for a great price, and since he was doing the install, this didn't cost us much.  Then, good ole Dad never let us turn it on.  

He'd tell us to open the front and back doors and get cross ventilation.

As a kid, I never knew what the hell that meant except he was not turning on the air.

Granted, hot in Erie, PA, where I grew up, is all relative. 

To us, it was hot in the 80s. To me, living in the south for the last 30 years, 80 is lovely to me now.

Come August, my father had a different tune. That was the hottest month of the summer in Erie.  He would finally turn on the air.  

My baby sister kept her clothes on.  

The relatives came by to just get cool. 

My uncle would show up (my dad's brother) with his 5 kids.  

He brought his crew along with pizzas and beers.

He was there to allow his family to be cool.  I find that so funny today.

But as a kid, it was what it was, and I never thought a thing of it. 

My parents knew this was why they were coming, and they were okay with it.  

In fact, they seemed to love it. 

Card playing commenced, and all the kids were running around being loud.  

I've been spoiled. I've had air most of my life. 

Then I got a VW bug in 1974 after graduating.  

No air, no heat, no defrost.   

Oh, but I just loved that car. 

Summer

 Summer is here.

Yesterday was 91 degrees with humidity you could cut. So of course our air died.

I had a drs appointment at same time as the appointment for Mr. A/C. They were squeezing me in so I had to take it. It's miserable inside and out.

So I must run. Hopefully I'll be back and will be 'chill'

Pride Month 🌈

 

Why is this difficult?

Printers

I have been having printer issues.

I spent so much of my day downloading drivers, firmware, and updates.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but trying it all. Rick is of no help with technology. He can build a desk for your computer, just don't ask him how to use the computer. 

I began to walk through steps I found online.

It told me to pull up MS Word. I thought this was stupid but I did it. 

I attempted to print something - no go.

Back to the drawing board.

Then it suddenly printed out something from Word. I touched NOTHING.

I picked it up off the printer. 

It was a blog post from 2009, and it made me laugh. 

I remembered this. That in and of itself is amazing for me to remember.

I read it to Rick, and he said, "I remember that conversation." 

So I am reposting - nothing has changed or improved.

But seriously how did this friggin' print? 

It was not open in MS Word!

Insert Twilight Zone music here

Poltergists...again?

_____________________________________________________

Thursday, January 8, 2009

HUH? 

I have seen the future and it’s really both sad and funny.

We were watching TV last night and saw a man at a cotillion, and he was sipping his punch with his pinkie in the air, and they made fun of him. 
That reminded me of something I had just seen on another show during our vacation. It was Miss Manners, along with the British Miss Manners, saying that raising your pinkie while drinking is considered poor etiquette.
So, upon seeing this scene on TV, I immediately said to my husband…..

"You know that raising your pinkie is considered poor etiquette? "

(chuckling) "Raising your pee pee is considered poor etiquette? Since when is a boner poor etiquette? Well, in public I suppose….. "

laughter.

"How the hell did you come up with a boner? 
Who said anything about a boner?
God, you’re a pig! "

"You said it first. You just said raising your pee-pee is poor etiquette. "

"No, I didn’t! What the hell are you talking about, Rick? "

Laughing through tears now, he says….

"Margaret, you just said that raising your pee pee is poor etiquette - why did you say that then? "

Now realizing that he didn’t hear this correctly, I too am laughing.

"Are we going to be like this as we get older and really can’t hear? "

So very loudly I say….
"I SAID THAT RAISING YOUR PINKIE IS CONSIDERED POOR ETIQUETTE!"

"Oh. Well, okay, but why did you bring that up? "

Ah, shit I give up!

Dark Comedy????

I read that the show Sirens was a dark comedy on Netflix. Julianne Moore was in this, and I love her. Truth be told, I also find dark comedy great.

So imagine my surprise when we sat down to watch this show, it was nowhere near a comedy, dark or otherwise.

I kept saying, "Where is the comedy?"  

Did any of you see this? Did you see it as a comedy? I'd really like to know.

 

Next time up, it was now Rick's turn to pick.  He chose Better Sister.

This was NOT a comedy.  A murder mystery. 

I went back and forth, who was the real bad sister?  

And finally, a word on retirement.

We retired 3.5 years ago. It has never felt like it. We were running on a treadmill or a hamster wheel, I suppose. 

We thought we'd have all this time to travel, explore, and do things we wanted whenever we wanted.  Then life happened. We only had time to keep our heads above water...barely. Stress from illnesses, money woes from illnesses, etc. It was such fun. 

His 1 medication is $850 a month? Or, sure, we don't need to eat on top of his other medications.  

When we got home from Rick's birthday at the shore, we realized that from now on (hopefully) we will be in retirement. No strokes, chemo, surgeries on spine or colon, PT, or trying to learn to walk or eat, etc.  Rick is as well as he is ever going to be.  He is self-sufficient more than not.  Okay, he forgets to turn off the water, the lights, and the stove, so I hate leaving him alone. (he hates when I say that)

I am feeling as good as I am ever going to at this age.  So now we can begin all the things we wanted to do to the house and spend some time doing things for fun.  I wish we drank beer because there is a train that takes you to breweries in NC.  Too bad it's not wine. We can begin to explore, and hopefully, we will stay just fine for a while or even longer.

Spousal Figure

My husband has taken to sending me memes.

Recently, Rick woke up and asked me 'What hell was with your fingers in my armpit?"

"What on earth are you talking about?" I ask.

Well, bloggers, I apparently rubbed his back and then put my fingers in his armpit and tickled him. Needless to say, I woke him.

Let me explain: I don't remember this because I was asleep. I have no idea why the hell I would do this, I tell him. He hates to be tickled, so I'd never do that. Well, at least not while awake.  We were laughing about all of this. Two nights earlier, Rick was apparently fighting with squirrels. Covers came off me, and he kicked me, his legs thrashing about. I shook him and he stopped. I told him we are now even.

He sends me this.

These are a few he sent me this past week. 

ok, i confess this is true about me. 

I HATE THE WAY THIS MAN DRIVES!

Those were the clean ones.

I admit the dirty ones are better, but not for everyone, I know.

Since retirement and his stroke, he uses his phone a lot more than ever before.  I think I may have to limit screen time like a parent does to their teens.