2025

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

While not the best of years, I'm dreading going to this next one. 🤞

I wish you all the best of everything in 2025!

(Hopefully, I don't fall between the two)

Well, That's Over

I have a good friend in Ohio who sent me a three-part Instagram reel with a couple about our age. She sent it to me because she said she showed it to her hubby, and he said, "Omg, this is Rick and Peg!" 

Meg told her husband she was sending the 3 reels to us to see what we thought.

I asked why she thought of us. I THOUGHT I knew but just in case.

She said, "They laugh and tease and it's funny like you two. It's just how you two act." Hmm...

"No one gets mad you just always laugh. "

Oh, we get mad trust me. But not often.

I was going to embed but I don't know these people and I probably shouldn't post their stuff without their permission. What are your thoughts on that? Their profile is public but still not 100% comfortable with that.

The husband and wife are at the kitchen table and he says, "These are the things your mother has said to me that I could never say to her"

She giggles. (ok I get that part)  

Now some of the things he says she has said to him I have said to Rick like, "Please change your pants your ass looks saggy"  

Of course, she tries to support this comment but she can't, it's just funny and true. And yes, I have said this to Rick about a certain pair of jeans. 

"You're as dumb as a stump."  

Her: "Well, you bought 4 fake leather jackets off the street that were all the same and you took the man to the ATM and you said because he was Italian you trusted him"  He was laughing so hard and nodding because he knew it was true.

We both watched all 3 parts and we just laughed.

Rick said, "Now these are fun people and could be friends"

Yep, these are like all the people we left behind.

Rick asked, "Are they hiding down here? These are our people." 

"I think so Rick but then again, they are from the north so maybe it's a regional thing I don't know. Everyone here appears so damn cranky."

_________________________________

This morning, as I attempted to clean off the coffee table, I saw a pink pill on the floor between the sofa and the table. I picked it up, and Rick asked what it was. I said," It's not an Rx medication of yours, but it looks like maybe a sudafed." 

He looked at it and just popped it in his mouth.

I, of course, flip out. "Richard is this where we are now? just picking pills off the floor and ingesting them without knowing for certain what they are?

"Yes, it is where we're at.  What the hell, we already have yellow caution tape around our home."

I had to laugh. So true. Me, being the wreck I am. He, having a bad cold that has him behaving like a sound machine. Honk, cough, sneeze, honk, clear throat, and on and on and on. At one point last evening while watching a movie we had to mute the TV because of his noises. He gets the creeping crud at the gym and then brings it home to me. Yipee. 

At least I'm not as sick as he is. For once I got a break.

___________________________

The surgeon called that I was referred to but they can't see me until the 14th. Geez. Well, what's another 3 weeks. I'm getting sleep now so that helps a great deal in my mood and dealing with the pain. 

And lastly, if you have Apple TV, please watch Shrinking.

My God for no other reason than Harrison Ford.

I have never been a big fan of his, however, I adore him in this show. 

Both Rick and I think this is his best work.

In season 2 he is wonderful!  At his Thanksgiving turn to say what he was thankful for I teared up.  I have never seen him in this type of role. At 80-something I think this is his best work. From what I am reading others including him think so too. It's such a good show!

Harrison plays a therapist in a group. they have all become friends of sorts.

Harrison is a big ole grump. But, he has a heart of gold and is a softy. 

He is what my husband calls me, A toasted marshmallow. Can appear crusty on the outside but a big ole soft marshmallow in the middle. 

He also is coming to terms with his diagnosis of Parkinson's'. 

This is a nuanced character and God I love him in this show.

So that is my recommendation for you all to watch this weekend.

You won't be disappointed. 

Season 2 as always is a bit better but you need Season 1 to lay the groundwork.

One more holiday to get through. 

Holidays

On this Christmas Eve, 

I wish all of you who celebrate Christmas, a very Merry Christmas!

How Was Your Friday?

Grab a cup of coffee, or your favorite beverage and listen to how a bad Friday rolled out for me.

Thursday I had a Dr. Appointment with Dr. Li the neurosurgeon at his Spine Pain clinic.

I was to talk about how well the big injection made me feel. 

(no better at all!)

I just had to endure that pain for nothing is how I see it. And pay for it. 

Thursday morning I could not function at all. Now here is TMI...

I had to get down the short hall to the bathroom. I couldn't walk I was trying and I was concerned I wasn't gonna make it. Rick was outside in his shop.  I was crying, "walking" and squeezing so I wouldn't pee myself.  

Too late.  I then crawled to the bathroom. Took a shower. I sat on that damn bench in the shower and cried. God, I am so tired of this. 

I am so frustrated with this. 

My phone was on the floor when I crawled into the bathroom.  After my shower, I got my phone. Took forever. I got in the 'chair' and tried to chill. 

I am doing the breathing I do for pain as Rick walks in. He suggested I cancel my appointment since I can't even get dressed with even his help. 

I call the Dr.'s office and tell them what's going on. They had no openings until next week. Okay, I just can't come today unless you have something later in the day. Nope, they did not. Okay book it for next week.

  

The next thing I know the doctor is calling me. We are going over my pain.  He tells me that we are skipping the next step and jumping into the spinal cord stimulator. He explains why and I agree. He gives me his cell phone number if I need anything. He tells me to text or call him.  Wow that was nice. He is getting me in at 2pm Friday. I will meet with Dave from the company that makes these. Like Rick's pacemaker they are involved as well. They discuss the device and they are the ones who will keep in touch with me to see how it's working. They are just not neurosurgeons who do the implanting.

Remember now, I am given no pain pills. I am out of my mind.  But when the dr. called me back I asked for pain pills. He was going to give me steroids and I said NO. I want pain pills.  He called in for 30 Percocets.

Finally, it's only been since March. 

Rick drove me to the doctor's office and I had him come in. 

I wanted him to hear all the information on this new gizmo. It is temporary to be sure it works. If after 5 days it does it will be surgically implanted. You see, the wires are inside but the device is on the outside during the test period to be sure it is helpful for me.

The first part of my appointment was how this works. They have gone over this with me many times but I get why they did it again. This time I had the wires shown to me in a demo with a fake spine. I understood what was being done, and how it HOPEFULLY would help me as well as the do's and don't. It basically stops the pain in my brain which I find interesting.

 

I can not bend, twist, or basically do anything other than just sit after I have this done. 

I can't shower either because of this being outside of my body with the temporary one. It can't get it wet he was adamant about.  So it's whore baths for a week.  Guess I am not seeing people. Here comes the stinky gimp!😀

I had to lay on my stomach as they injected me with something they claimed was a numbing agent. I do not know what it numbed cuz I felt it all. OOh boy did it burn. I told him halfway through that I was feeling everything and asked if I should be feeling all this.  No, he says and he gave me another shot. Whew. He apologized and on he went.

He went up the left side for a long time. He was getting jammed due to the vertebrae not having enough room for him to get through. He kept hitting the bone. The pressure feels like a semi-truck is sitting on your back.  I know I whimpered at one point. I asked for Kleenex. My face is in that hole on the table, my nose is running, and tears are falling.  

There is this big sheet thing over me. I grab a piece of something that felt like a velcro belt of sorts on this table. I grabbed them and squeezed when I needed. i think Dave notice and he got on the floor and put his hand under the sheet and said, Grab my two fingers if you need to.  Oh I needed to.  He was so kind. 

The dr said, "Peggy we are going to try the right side. I'm very sorry"  

I couldn't believe it. I had to endure this again?

I could feel him pushing this and it was doing the same thing. He was shaking me and the table now.  Finally, after 1 hr of extraordinary pain, they said they couldn't do it.  He apologized. They showed me the issue which I could see plain as day on the films. It looks fine until you get in there. I saw the problem. I couldn't be mad at them for trying. But I sure as hell went through a lot to get nothing in return.

Getting me onto my feet was a treat. I got dressed and went to the outside room where Rick was. Dave was apologizing (the spinal cord dude) He said he has seen this several times. No big deal he says, it will just have to be done in the hospital.  

Dr. Li called the neurosurgeon who he works with when this happens.

That neurosurgeon is to call me on Monday.  We shall see. Being Xmas week I am doubtful.

By 8pm Friday I felt like my back had been kicked by a horse a few times.

Yeah, that was fun. 

I can't sleep on my sides due to this. So I sleep in a chair.  I couldn't sleep in the chair because it hurt against my back. 

Now for some crazy ass reason, this brought me to giggles.

Should I sleep standing up I ask Rick.  

He laughed and said, "Oh fun - Peg tipping"  

(if not familiar with cow tipping this makes no sense to you)

Damn Rick you're cruel. I am tired, hangry, and in pain, and yet I now have the giggles about what the hell my life looks like right now. Of course, Rick doesn't help any with his comments. Smart ass is funny. Laughter does help with pain even if it is all in my head. 

Rick fetched me a big bed pillow and I got all situated and felt comfortable. 

I kept moving in the chair I guess because at one point Rick said if you are that uncomfortable take a Percocet. 

So I cut one in half and took it.  I don't like the high feeling I get from these. I know, I know. I wanted some pain relief I just wish it didn't make me dizzy and feel like crap. So when it kicked in I closed my eyes.  I don't get why people enjoy them. But guess who slept for 6 hours straight?  Ah, if felt so good.

So here I am on Saturday just doing what I do. I have the regular pain. It is not bad. My back feels like it would be black and blue but Rick says it's not.  It just feels like I've been run over. 

Friday I heard the doctors discussing with Rick as I dressed, the 2 things they will probably do but until the surgeon looks at all my films, etc they aren't positive. I hear a laminectomy and inserting this SCStimulator.

I have had laminectomies I really wasn't ready for back surgery just having this device implanted.  

So until Monday, I do not know what is going to transpire.

I hope the end of the pain is near. I want my life back.

From my Chair

I'm in a mood today.

Discovery

 It all started harmless enough.

Rick sent me a reel. It was a woman doing pull-ups from the back. She had no top on. The caption was titled, Topless Day at the Gym.

Rick was heading off to the gym this morning and says, "Wonder if this is Topless day at my gym"  

I told him to take his shirt off.  He didn't find it as funny as me.

Now everyone sees this reel and says, "How do you know it's a woman?"

Well,  I can see that it is, but even if it isn't, let the guy have his fantasy I say.

Then he tried to whistle for some reason on his way out the door and couldn't whistle.

He came back inside.  

"Hey, my whistle is broken. "

"What?"

"I can't whistle, listen." He stood there like a fool trying to whistle.

Well, the damn fool can no longer whistle.  He is distraught by this and I find it funny because one does not need to whistle. Trust me I've done just fine never being able to whistle. It didn't hinder me in any way I tell him.

He has so many issues from the stroke and this is a concern?  

He also has a lot of issues of numbness around the left side of his mouth, and he is having issues with his throat, etc from the stroke. 

Because of all this we assume this is stroke-related since he was a strong whistler before the stroke.

But I must tell you that his concern over his lack of ability to whistle seems to bother him more than it should to me.  He just returned home. Still talking about his inability to whistle and still trying. He is in the kitchen as I type this blowing air.  OMG.

I've been around this man for 37 years. I know him. He is now going to walk about and attempt whistling for days.  

Gosh, Lucky Me.

My week

 Well, that didn't last long.

The miserableness of this back pain is in full force. It showed me a day and a half of life without wanting to off myself. I liked it and wished it had never happened if it couldn't stay.

I go back next week. I am afraid of the surgery but it's all that I've got...I think.

We shall see. I see the murderer of the CEO of United Health Care stated that he has debilitating back pain. Gee, I bet sleeping on a cot in a cold cell isn't helping his pain. 

The good thing about all this misery is that I can see some of my shows without waiting. Bad Sisters is so damn good.

Shrinking is one of the funniest shows on TV. I never gave a hoot one way or the other about Harrison Ford. but I adore him in this show.  

Oh, it's not funny, like, ha ha ha, but the things they say to one another are how my friends and I speak to one another, so I find it funny. I just wish they didn't dole out the episodes one by one. I want to stream all episodes.

Then to make my week complete it's been 24/7 football.

I dislike football for all kinds of crazy reasons. But this need to take over the airwaves on 5 channels Thursday through Monday is just crazy.

Biscuits, guns, and football. 

The former New England Patriots coach was named the new UNC coach here in Chapel Hill. First, it was, will he or won't he? Then it was he will.

Yippee - let's have this on TV for 5 hrs on all networks including PBS.

Who cares? 

I know nothing of this man except he won Super Bowls. 

He looks like a dick.

Then I saw his girlfriend. He is a dick.

He is 72. She is 24. 

Now that he is only making 10 million a year instead of 25 will she leave her sugar grandpa?  

What in God's name does a 24-year-old woman see in a 72-year-old man?

Aside from money, what do they have in common? Does she help him with technology? Does he show her how to use an analog clock?

I don't get it. 

Rick said maybe she's in school at UNC and that is why he was interested in moving here. That made me laugh. When I googled her she was a "cheerleader"  That is her occupation at one time it stated. High school?

So apparently this is rare. Apparently, this is a big deal but isn't there something called the Big 10 and wouldn't a man of his 'pedigree' go to a big 10 school and not UNC?  Don't laugh at me. I don't know much about football and its workings.

All I know is now this will be all we hear around these parts.

I have another busy week that I will have to find a way to plow through.

I am sure you are all knee-deep in presents and wrapping paper.

All the things you enjoy this time of year.

This is my least favorite holiday. I long for it to be over already.

But yet I fear 2025 and don't want it to show up. 

I don't think it's going to be a good year.  I hope I'm wrong.

Well geez, that ended up being a bummer.

Let's stop with a funny instead.

Saturday Morning Admission

With pain lessened I am able to do more.

Rick noticed and commented that, “I’m smiling and talking more too. And if I’m honest you’re less cranky.”

I raised one eyebrow pretending to be upset by his words. Of course I wasn’t, I knew he was right.

“So what you’re saying is apparently pain makes me a tad grumpy, so adding that to my sparkling personality and I guess I’ve been a joy.”

“Yep, that’s it.

“That’s what I thought you meant”🤣

Update and Friday Meme Drop

You may recall I left the doctor I was seeing when he told me it would be a one-year wait to Duke's pain clinic. Nope. That is inhumane. Besides, I think he was ghosting me because he didn't know how to fix me. Being he was a surgeon it's best I find that out now.

I went to another Pain Clinic for Spinal Pain intervention. (he does other things too but mostly this.) This doctor is another neurologist. He felt they were injecting me in the wrong place. Great thousands of dollars out the window

He really felt he could get this. I have a bulge on L1. It is covering 50% of my spinal cavity. It is pressing on all these nerve endings giving me severe pain, numbness, and did I mention eyes rolling in the back of your head pain?  Now I've had sciatica. This is nothing like sciatica. I don't want sciatica but I'd prefer that over what I have been dealing with.

Rick drove me to the clinic office because I feared the drive home if this worked.

It worked. OMG, the pain. It smarts with the numbing agent. It smarts when they insert the tube, but when they put in the medication I went through the roof. Instant tears. At one point as he was moving the needle I was making noises that I couldn't control. It was so awful. The nurse was trying to hold my hand but I was squeezing the table. I apologized after one yelp and he said he gets big ball players in here crying like a baby so I didn't need to worry. I actually heard that before.  Another story for another time.

When it was done I was about to relax. I felt my whole body tense but I couldn't stop it. Man, I wouldn't wish this on another person. Well, maybe one. 

After I got off the table I couldn't walk without wobbling so they had me sit down. The doctor walked me out to the front office and I scheduled a 2-week follow-up. I have always been told it will get better and better over 2 weeks.

I hope they are correct.

I told Rick in the car that as soon as he injected me in the correct spot I almost went through the roof. I knew he was in the right spot because he was causing me great pain in the areas of my pain. I know that seems confusing but I knew it was in the right area and that made me happy through those tears.

When I got home I collapsed in the ugly chair. I slept for 4 hrs. I awoke to being able to get out of my chair with minimal pain. I even stood up straighter. 

On any given day my pain on a 1-10 scale is a 10 or higher.

After this shot, it was a 5-6 and I can honestly live with this pain. It's inconvenient, and it's not fun but I can do this if I must.  

If this does not take we can try the spinal cord stimulator should Medicare ever approve it or have surgery.

They apparently don't like to do surgery on an L1. When I asked why I was told it was such a small area. Not the space as there is on my lower back. I said even if they only got 1/2 of it I'd be in 1/2 the pain, no? 

I don't know I just want out of pain.

I asked Rick to put a pillow over my head if I must live in a 10-15 pain level.

He said he wouldn't do it because he is too pretty for prison.

I bet I have a sibling that would.

😀

yes, see above.

Got Snow?

I hope your holiday was all you wanted it to be.

Do you have snow? Thankfully, NC does not get snow to speak of. I am all for that. My family in Erie, PA, has been under 5 feet of snow, with more on its way. It looks so pretty from here, but I wouldn't want to deal with it myself.

Hence why we went south. :-)

Lake Effect Snow storms with thunder are typical weather for my hometown.

The first winter after I met Rick was his first winter in this town. We were walking to our car when it thundered. 

Rick asked, "Did you hear that?"

"Yes"

"It was thunder"

"Yes, I am aware"

"I've never heard thunder during a snowstorm!"  He was excited like this was so rare.

"It does it all the time, what is so new about that?"
"Well, it's new to me"

That is when I learned that is not normal in all parts of the world.

In other news since I've been gone from the blog.

I watch a show on Netflix called "Is It Cake"  

I found this in the wee hours of the morning when Rick first had his stroke.

He was in the hospital and worry wart was up in the middle of the night.

When Rick got home I showed him this show. He found it funny but was then fascinated by it. Then we see some of our friends who are into this with their kids. I guess kids just love this show. Then I heard a comedian say his wife and kids watched it and he rolled his eyes and said, "Not for me, sounds stupid." 

The kids made him watch and now he too loves this show.  

I saw they had a holiday version of the show so over Thanksgiving, we watched that show.

When it was over Rick said, "You always make me watch these cake shows, now I want cake."

"Hey mister, I don't MAKE you watch anything!"

He laughed and said, "Well between this and the British Baking Show it makes me want cake you know?"

"Oh I do but since I can't have cake..."

"Hey, I can."

"So you're asking for cake?"

"Was that too subtle for ya?"

"Alight, what kind of cake do you wish mister?"

"Aged Beer Cake"

"You going to leave it alone for 7 days?"

"I promise!"

"Hmpf"

Now, this Aged Beer cake is so simple. 

The difficult part is letting it sit for seven days without cutting or eating it. Yeah, that has always been his issue.

He wanted this one for one year, and I made it for his birthday—of course, the week before his birthday so it could age.

After the 7 days, it is VERY moist, dense, and decadently wonderful.

I wrapped it in saran wrap/cellophane. 

The following day I see a piece is missing.

So I wrapped the cellophane-wrapped cake in aluminum foil. 

2 layers may help the big mouse from getting to it.

I knew I'd hear him try to get some cake that way.  

Two can play this game, mister.

The next day I  hear the foil and yell into the kitchen, "I hear that cake opening are you sure you wanna do that?"  

He had a big belly laugh and yelled, "I can't believe you booby-trapped the cake!" 

"yep I did"

Fast forward to December 2024.  I made the cake. 

I wrapped it in saran wrap. I had it under a cake carrier. 

It was left on the kitchen island. 

The following morning this is what I saw.

I think we have a rat in the house.  

I will be lucky if the cake makes it to 7 days.  

As he says, "It's far better after the 7 days but it's damn good now too"

********

Have any of you watched the Ted Danson show on Netflix called A Man on The Inside?  It is based on a true story but this is fiction of course.

I didn't think I'd like it but I did. It's light, it's funny and it was perfect for the holiday weekend. We laughed a few times just because the character is as good with technology as Rick is. He found that funny. He saw himself. 

I was going to attempt to explain the events at this Senior Living Community but just watch the trailer, it will do a better job of explaining.

I just hope and pray I don't ever end up in one of these high school dormitories. But I am old enough to know better than to say, never. If I've learned nothing in 60 years it is to never say never. But a gal can 'hope'