Random Items on Tuesday

Last week while finding the need of balance in my life I found some interesting tid bits that amused me as well as irked me.

We were having an issue with our satellite receiver that we have in our master bedroom.
They sent a man out last week to repair or replace after he looked it over.
I work from a home office and I was on the phone with customers almost the entire time he was here.  (My office is down the hall from my master bedroom.)

Rick was here so he could work with the young man and answer any questions he may have. 
During one of my phone calls he said to Rick that "She sure talks good"
Rick wanted to laugh but of course he couldn't.
Later when the young man left Rick told me that as my boss he wanted me to know I talked good but if I could muster talking well I may make more money.  That made me giggle.

Do you all remember those 80's staple of leggings and stirrup pants?
Apparently they are back.  Stirrup pants should not be worn unless you are riding a horse with your riding boots over the stirrups.
Really do we need those to come back?  We need stirrup pants like we need mullets. 
Please say it ain't so.

Jumping tracks.....

I believe I have mentioned before that I like to listen to Sirius radio online at my desk most days at work.  For some reason one afternoon nothing was sounding good to me so I went to talk radio and began to listen to something I don't normally listen to.
This was a show of 2 young men who were discussing guy stuff but the topic that made me blow a gasket was their discussion on chubby gals. 
They so infruiated me I was screaming at my radio.

These women below were their list of the top 3 "chubby chicks" who they think look pretty good for being so big. They named many but narrowed the field to these 3 "chubby chicks" that they would do.  Oh these lucky women! I have 2 pictures of each woman for you to decide.

1. Katie Mixon (actress on Mike and Molly)

2. Sophia Vergara (actress on Modern Family)

3. Christina Hendricks (actress on Mad Men, front and back here)



I would like to take a poll - Do you really think these women look chubby to you?

I personally find referring to them as chubby so very offensive.
Men thinking this is chubby is so crazy I can't even wrap my head around this. 
No wonder women have food issues. 
These are normal women!
This just irks me!!

Chubby men and bald men abound yet we don't make these ridiculous lists. 
Most of these fat bald guys have great looking women on their arms. 
Seriously look at Donald Trump - the worst comb over on a Oompa Loompa there ever was.
Look at his wife.  (ok a gold digger maybe not a good example)
How about Jack Black...Alec Baldwin.....Andy Ritchter....Kevin James....Danny DeVito....James Gandofini...and the list goes on. 
You would never hear anyone say, "Wow there are so many fat guys on TV lately."
(yes that is what these numbnuts actually said about the women above) 

I may have found the answer.....I read where the first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Sleep Interrupted

One night early last week I fell asleep on the sofa pretty early once again from utter exhaustion.

Rick let me sleep there since he was thrilled I was getting some Zz’s at all.
At some point I got up and went to bed.  I do not remember going upstairs to bed.

I was awakened by licking on my face, Izzy in a frantic state and I, in my own bed.
She came to my side of the bed and then went over and looked at the empty bed on Rick’s side and then looked out our bedroom window – she did this 5 times.
So I grabbed shoes and thought Rick was outside or something. (I know it made no sense but I was very much in a foggy brain state)
She walked out the bedroom door and looking behind her at me like, “Hey aren’t you coming? Hurry!”

So down the stairs we go and she goes to the front door. I thought she had to go to the bathroom but at the same time wondering where the hell Rick is you know?
It was just past 1:00a.m.

We get outside and Izzy is looking left and then right and then takes off to the back of the house to the driveway. (I don’t keep her on a leash at night because no one can see us break this rule and she won’t run off)
I follow and she sits in front of Rick’s van and stares at it and looks back at me and then back at the van. This goes on and on.
I can’t open the door to show her he isn’t in there because it is locked.
She is convinced he is in there and won’t move. She is a frantic little dog right now.

Now you have to understand how this dog is so over the moon for her master Rick.
It's really sickening.  I feed her and she looks at me like, "feed me bitch, and then get lost"  I'm otherwise ignored if Rick is home. The sun and moon revolve around Rick according to this dog.

This whole thing was crazy at 1am and I’m groggy and now getting worried about where the hell Rick is at this hour. Did Izzy see something?
I get her to come in the house because I say the word Daddy. She loves that word and man.
I tell her Daddy is in the house – she goes in and RUNS up the stairs to the bedroom and of course he isn’t in bed and she is freaking out – frantically pacing – bed – window – me – bed – window – me.

I say, “Let’s go upstairs and see if he is up here.”
Now that I am awake it only makes sense that Rick isn’t outside but probably up on the 3rd floor either watching TV in the media room or sleeping in a guest bedroom.

Sure enough he is in one of the guest bedrooms on the 3rd floor and is out like a light.
C’mon Lassie if you were so smart you’d have gone up there first of all.
If I was awake I would have thought of it first too.

Izzy is all excited with tail a waggin’ wildly.
She starts licking him and wakes him. Her Labrador Tail beating the mattress like a drum.
There was no way she was just coming back downstairs to bed without him.

I assume Rick is up here because I was snoring.
That seems to be the only time either of us go up there to sleep.
My allergies are in full fall bloom and I can barely breathe so it was probably me.

Of course now Rick is a bit cranky because he has been awaken yet again.
I ask if I was snoring?
He tells me I was making sounds he's never heard before in nature. Lovely eh?

What a morning!
We finally all get back to bed and Izzy gets on her bed and she sighs so loudly it made us both laugh!
Now we’re awake and damn it we’ve got to be up in a few hours.
Why did we want a dog again?

Update and Labor Day Flashback Photos

I really poo-poo'd being away from the blog because I always feel it is just me chatting no stress.  Who knew?

Dealing with all the medical stuff is one thing but then my normally very low blood pressure went through the roof out of no where. Scared everyone, including me.
I did as told all week.  No appointments, no rushing, no eating after a certain hour and taking my meds and exercising.  Going to bed and not getting up when I couldn't fall asleep.
Just laying there listening to the dog and husband snore and not get out of bed. 
That I knew would be difficult for me.

Last night I was so tired at 7:30pm I could barely function.  Rick suggested I go to bed.
BED?  at 7:30pm?  I am not a baby.
But he kept saying, "why can't you?  if you are tired just go." 
I really didn't have a comeback.  I wasn't supposed to be doing anything with deadlines to learn to relax.  Okay I'll go to bed.

I told myself that I would turn on the tv in the bedroom or read. 
But ole wise Rick came upstairs after me and took the remote control from me and all books off my nightstand.  He told me to SLEEP.
So I laid my head down and looked at the clock. I thought I'd stare at it for hours. 
But instead I feel asleep! Instant Slumber! It was wonderful.
I slept until 1am when the dog woke me. 
Sadly I was then up for another 2 hours.
But I laid there like the dr. ordered and did not get up and walk around the house.
I instead listened to the ceiling fan and my husbands breathing. I tried breathing in when he did and out when he did.  It worked. I fell back to sleep for another 2 1/2 hrs.

Bottom line is that 8 hours of even interrupted sleep is more sleep than I have had in any given week in the last few months. 
Imagine 8 hours in a week.  Could you function?  I couldn't.
My body can't repair itself if I don't get sleep. So as simple as it sounds I must get sleep to get well.  So we are off to a good start I guess.  Boy I must say I feel good today!

Jumping Tracks......
I received some pictures from Labor Day from our guests who were there for the weekend.
I loved these two.
This is Rick and Joey. Yes, Rick is hunkering down to get in the photo.
I sent to my sister and she said it looked like Rick had to go to the bathroom with that stance.
I don't see that but it did make me laugh.

This is Rick with Laura.....I have no explanation to this one.

Did you know deer could swim?  I sure as hell didn't.  Yes these are deer in the photo.  If you double click it I think it will get bigger for you to see them.  I just came across this photo yesterday. Rick took it last year on his phone. We were so shocked to see deer swimming from shore to shore.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Back to regular scheduled programming next week.

Floating Boobs and Walking Away

When our block was new everyone was either new to the area or new to the city. (like us)
So we all were very social and anxious to meet people. 
A lot of partying on the patios or decks.  A lot of summer BBQ's etc.
No one had children at that time and it was very free flowing, spontaneous and fun.

One evening we were going over to the couple on the corner. 
We will call this couple Sue and Bob. (not their real names)
Sue was a stay at home "something."
I say something because she did not have children, she did not clean her own home, she did not make meals because she had a personal chef and she had a trainer who came to her home. So what she did with her time is lost on me. 

She was extremely shallow and slow.  Not a good combo but she was just a wee bit odd as well which intrigued me at times.
She would never allow me to drive if she was coming along because I had a Jeep Grand Cherokee and not a nice upscale car like hers. (please!)
I tried to bribe her one winter day by saying, "my Jeep has leather seats and I have seat warmers."  
Oh no she tells me she likes to drive.  (like I didn't see through that)

Over wine one day she admits that she prefers to be seen in her cars than a Jeep or an Accord. For some reason this always makes me laugh.  Even when I could afford her type car I never wanted to pay it.  
I just don't care about that type of thing.  
Everyone has different priorities and my car name wasn't one of them. 

One day she asked me why I worked. 
One time I said because my husband was not an attorney. (hers was)
But then I felt bad after I said it because it was as though my husband's position wasn't enough...and it was.
The 2nd time she asked me this I told her that I work because we liked to eat.
The 3rd time she asked I turned it around and asked, "Why don't you work?"
That stopped those types of questions.

The evening at Sue and Bobs was a typical summer evening. 
All mingling on their patio drinking wine and spirits. 
There were various ages, sizes and demographics and all having a very good time.
Then Sue yells, "hey everybody want to get in the Jacuzzi now?" 
Someone says something about not having a suit and they both say in unison, "Oh NO suits in the jacuzzi!"
The next thing I know she comes out in a robe and her hubby is removing the cover.
People begin to disperse.
Some are planning to stay and some look at one another like "WTF no suits?"

Bob says to Rick and me, "You guys aren't going home now are you?"
I look at Rick and say, "I don't care if you stay but I am not getting naked with my neighbors."
Rick was feeling no pain let me tell you. 
He then whispers to me that Sue has shown most of her body anyway but he really wanted to see those fake boobies and see if they float and come to the surface like real big ones do. 

Ah yes, that is my husband. But he does make me laugh and I too wondered if fake boobs float to the surface like real ones do. So I figured I'd get the full rundown when he got home. 

I seriously didn't care if he stayed but I just couldn't do it.
I so did not want to see Bob's penis and then see him at the mailbox and try to not have THAT picture in my head.  No way. 
I just felt it was completely inappropriate to get naked with the neighbors. 
Apparently, I was the odd one out.

Bob says, "Peg are you leaving because you are chubby now are you?" 

"Ah, No Bob my weight isn't the issue here - getting naked with my neighbors is the issue."
He has a very big chuckle over this and now everyone is staring at me.

Sue says, "Peg we don't care about you being chubby c'mon just take off your clothes and get in, it'll be fun"
I say AGAIN, "I don't care about being chubby either it is not about size here, it's about being inappropriate to see my neighbors genitalia"
Everyone is now laughing.  Everyone thinks I am just being a comic.
I am a bit stunned.

I just shake my head and hope to God they are all drunk because to me this is just nuts.

Bob and Sue knew about my medical issues and what was going on and I was in the throes of it then. They knew it caused weight gain and that I was embarrassed by it because I had no control.  So I understood where they were coming from but I couldn't make them understand it wasn't my weight that was my issue.  If I was at my fighting weight I would never ever do this, it just wasn't me.  I'd get naked with hubby in the jacuzzi but not with the neighbors!

So after a great deal of back and forth of everyone telling me, I looked fine I said my good nights and told Rick to enjoy. 
I whispered, "you can tell me about her boobs when you get home."  and I kissed him on the check. 
He looked alarmed, "I'm not going to stay if you aren't."
So off to our home we go.  
On the walk home I asked him why he didn't stay.
He said, "Were you really serious about me staying?"
Me: "Yes I was fine with it."
Rick: "Well I felt like it might be a test and I'm drunk enough to not be sure so I thought coming home was a safe bet."
Honest to Pete this man makes me laugh.  Looking back that was probably a good call on his part being that he was 3 sheets to the wind.

Fast forward 2 weeks and Bob and Sue are over our home for some wine and munchies.
I took off my boots while sitting on the ottoman and then my socks. 
Sue asks what I am doing.  
I then stand up and take off a sweater.  (still wearing a blouse) 
I say I am getting naked since I missed out the other night. 
Sue and Bob share a glance of panic. 
Rick smiles at me knowing what I am going to do without me ever telling him beforehand.

I say to Sue, "Aren't you going to take things off?  I don't care that you are so damn skinny"
Sue looks like the proverbial deer in the headlights.
Bob jumps in and says, "You just want us all to be naked and sitting n your great room?"
"Why sure!  Or is it only appropriate to be naked with your neighbors if water is involved?"
Bob: "Touche"

Sue not being the brightest bulb in the box needed Bob to explain to her what was going on.  When she thought she understood she said, "Oh Peg you're a big nut! And we still don't care that you are now chubby."

OMG this woman!!

So apparently the rule of thumb err penis is you can wear your freak naked flag with your neighbors if water is involved but not if you are just sitting around drinking in the living room.  
Just so you know.  I guess there is naked etiquette here that I was unaware of.
I'm just sharing. You're welcome. 

End of Week Rants

Blogger – Oh my how blogger is beginning to drive me nuts.
It is always giving me the ole “Service Unavailable” on a white page.
Or I can't get into Blogger at all.
Also the same old issue of spacing, and other assorted post issues like that.
Is it time for a change? I may need to do something other than tear out my hair.
Anyone else having issues or is this black cloud just over me?

Fall – I love the lower temps in the 80’s and the cooler nights but really I am ready for 55 degrees as a high. C’mon hurry up already!! And then stay around for a very long time.

Computers – They are supposed to make your life easier.
Has any of this technology done that for us? I think not.
Tuesday, I was working and typing some customer information into our calendar and then switched to a power point I needed to finish for a meeting.
The computer froze. I did the ole “end task” on my PC but nada.
The music in the background sounded like a 1970’s LP skipping.
I could not get any of the programs to shut down. Instant panic set in.
So I just finally turned it off.
When I opened it back up a black screen told me that my Windows had a corrupt or broken file.  Did you hear me scream?

While I do back up weekly it had been a week. (external back up no less but not now)
My calendar is the business life line without this we are metaphorically dead.
So I call Dell, my support line, to help stop the panic attacks that just begun.
TWO hours later we still were not up and running.
All the while they tell me that I may have lost everything on this computer.
This is a brand new computer just bought last year after a horrific virus gotten through Skype no less. Now I have anti-virus that I pay for - no free stuff for me. I learned that doesn't do the trick. How dumb of us huh?

So after the diagnostic tests were run it was determined that this was not anything on my hard drive but a Windows issue.
That meant a transfer to another department and to a very nice man who lives in India.
He was competent and spoke so fast I had to embarrass myself and ask that he please slow down for me. He laughed.
I am sure he was thinking, “Dumb American!”
But it was difficult to understand him slowly and speaking rapid fire only confused dumb ole Margaret even more.

We spent another lovely 2 hours together. At one point he said that he had to set my expectations. He said that at this point after what we had done if it is not running the likelihood of having any of my data were slim to none but “let’s continue”.
He said those last two words like it was going to be fun, like “let’s open your presents”.

I was feeling nothing but dread and just wanted to cry.
I have been through this nightmare once before.
Even having everything in your backup it still sucks to lose it all and start again.
It is a major ordeal and takes a lot of your time.
I don’t have time now I couldn’t imagine what this was going to do to us and the business. Hell, I am writing blog posts at 2:41 a.m. so what time do I have?

Finally the familiar sound of MS Windows came on and that familiar blue screen and I was ready to fly to India to kiss this man.
After close inspection my data was all there too! YIPPEE.
He left me with the strong recommendation to use Firefox instead of Internet explorer and to get Windows 7 and get off Windows XP.  Jeez, more money, more learning. 
Can't I just be old and dumb, it seems to work for so many others?

So right now in the green glow of my computer in the wee hours of the morning I am able to see my photo’s, view all my business important information as well as blog.
I hope this "glow" lasts forever.

Cooler Mornings

The weather was so great this morning that I just couldn't do my normal routine.
Instead I took the dog out for her 2nd walk at 7:30am.
Since we both like it cool why not.  Later it'll be 85 and we'll hate it again.
We went down to this area to throw balls, sticks and to basically smell everything on the ground. (okay not me I'm not into that)

There was a big bird/geese something or other that was quacking up a storm all alone. Maybe she didn't like us down there who knows but we sat on the picnic bench and just stared at her.  She flew away before I could get my camera open and ready but this is where she was doing all her squalking.

After throwing balls and sticks Izzy was bored of retreiving and I was thankful.  I sat on a picnic bench and just enjoyed the weather, the trees and the quiet. I wish I could have stayed awhile instead of going to work. Boy does working bug me these days. Izzy saw a bunny over here and took off.  Poor thing thinks she is faster than a bunny. 

We walked back home and sat on the neighbors stoop on the corner.  We sat and watched the people going by.  There are a lot of mommy joggers and walkers at this hour. It was a nice calm way to start my morning. Cooler weather makes me want to be outside so much more!

Our Last Move

When we arrived in this city we hoped this would be our last move for a long time.
We were so weary of getting comfortable somewhere and then being asked to uproot yet again.
The last city we lived in before moving here didn't fit us well,
When we were offered this opportunity to have someone else pack us up and pay for the move we jumped on it.  So here we are.

As I said yesterday making friends in a new city isn't easy. 
Especially when both of you work from home and travel all week.
Adding to that fact that we were both older with no kids made this another degree or more harder. 

So we began joining.  Oh did we join.

We were just over 40 when we saw this group called 40 plus.
The brief description in the Community Magazine was about their meetings of food and liquor at the town hall where they planned trips and parties.
The article talked about their outings and get togethers at winerys, concerts etc.
We knew that the average age here at that time was 31 with child/children. 
So we thought that meant this club would offer more people closer to our age and maybe without babies and we'd find some new friends to play with.

I spoke to the woman on the phone and I thought she sounded a bit old.  I chalked this fact up to her being the only one who had the time to take on the chores of being the Big Kahuna of this group.  I know Rick and I traveled a great deal for work so our free time was limited to do such things.  She told me the time to be there and asked me to bring a dessert. Easy enough.

This time frame was very shortly after 9/11/01.
As I have mentioned it hit our community pretty hard here.
Because of this Rick and I hoped this wasn't the only talk at the big gathering.

We drove over to the town hall with the radio blaring to one of our favorite songs.
We pulled up front and turned off the car but continued to sing our little hearts out and laughing to a song that has some funny meaning to us. (George Thorogood, One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer)

As we sat there a very old woman got out of a car. 
Someone dropped her off at the front steps. 
She was small, hunched over, white hair and old.
She walked very timidly while carrying a plate of food. 
She could barely make the stairs. 
She lifted each leg as though she had weights at the end of her ankles. 
Rick turned to me and said, "I hope there are other groups meeting there." 
I laughed and hoped so too but instead I said, "Well she is over 40!"

The song was over so we turned off the radio and grabbed our dessert.
Rick wanted to help this woman in to the hall and proceeded to grab her arm and walk her in. Sure enough she was going where we were going.
As we walked in the door an elderly woman said hello and whipped my 13 x 9 pan out of my hands and it all was a blur. 
She yelled to us as she put the dish on the table, "There is a box of wine on the table, help yourself and then be seated."

OH NO! 
We looked around and not only were these people over 40 they were over 70.
It was a sea of white hair. 
There was an American flag waving in the corner that seemed enormous. 
Rick leaned in to me and said, "Can you grab the Lemon Lush off the table and get the hell out of here?" 
"I can't do that it's rude and I'm not leaving that pan"
"You can buy another pan....She scares me, she's like a mean old teacher and what's with the structure of this?"
"Military style no less. Dear God Rick what are we doing here?"

We sat down and we were deflated. 
Then Rick began to laugh, I mean laugh out loud and out of control. 
I kept hitting his arm to get him to settle down but now I'm laughing too and people are looking at us strangely. Which only made us laugh all the more.

I would have preferred that my attempt to make friends would end up being with people not my Grandmothers age.  But that didn't seem to be in the cards that night.
Some nice man in a walker who called himself the Mayor brought the room to order.
(order?  how was this a fun social evening? order? what is this?)

This nice man told us all to stand and to say the pledge of alliance.
At this point Rick and Peggy are attempting to stifle laughter so they don't think we were disrespectful but it wasn't working. 
I had to literally turn around and face another direction so that I did not see my husband or I was really going to lose it.

After our patriotic event they began to mingle. 
Slowly mingle because they don't do much quickly it appeared.
White hair floating around the room like smoke
My goodness this was an out of body experience.
We got ourselves a couple of glasses of wine.  BIG glasses of wine.
My wine snob of a hubby had to make a comment on the fact that it was box wine.
I told him to be glad it's not metamucil and to just drink it already so we can get the hell out of here. (I guess a cork and corkscrew may be difficult with arthritis)

The food was served and I was hoping the dessert would go quickly so I could grab my pan and get the hell out of here. Unfortunately everyone wanted the recipe.  I told them I would email it.  No emails. Oh those damn new fangled computers you know.

Then a younger couple came by and sat down by us and asked, "Do you both still work?"
My goodness how old do I look is what went through my head.
When I say younger couple I mean I would guess this couple was 63-66 years old which to me today isn't that old but these people acted it while not looking it.
We told them we did work and it stopped the conversation immediately.
It was uncomfortable so I began asking what they did and off they went.
It was grand kids this and grand kids that.
Oh boy this was going to be a long night. 

So there we were looking to move away from the baby crowd and we went from the young people having the babies directly to the old people watching the babies. 
Where are the people in the middle?  Was this The Twilight Zone?

We left shortly after our conversation with them.
Everyone was very nice but it wasn't our cup of tea. 
But to this day it makes us laugh every time we talk about it.

So we have given up.
Should it rain friends I'll let you know.

In the mean time it's a damn good thing I really like my husband!
He told me yesterday I probably really don't like him as much as I think - I'm just desperate for friends and company. 
He may be on to something.

My Favorite Magazine

I know that reading magazines is suddenly out of vogue.
That's okay to me because I am no longer of an age that being in vogue matters much to me.

When my work life changed I decided that I didn't need all these magazines coming to my home.  It was a first step in cutting back the excess. I kept one magazine subscription going strong.  More Magazine.

I love this magazine.  It's self promotion states it is for Women 40 and over.
Because of that you won't see the mommy baby stories, but stories of your children getting married, leaving the nest or perhaps what it's like to be a mommy later in life. That's about all you'll ever see about being a mom. It's about all of you.  Not just the mommy in you.

This magazine celebrates being older, being wiser, reinventing yourself in your career or life or just wanting to look great in the latest fashions in an age appropriate way.
Hey we need our fluff too you know.

This weekend I gave myself a few minutes to actually read a whole story from beginning to end in between loads of laundry and washing my dog stained floors.
This story really struck a chord with me. It was called Friends, Interrupted.

The story examines how difficult it is to make girlfriends after a certain age.
We no longer are at the mommy and me play dates making friends with women sharing poopy stories. We no longer are hanging out at bars with our girlfriends crying over our martini's about the men who won't return our calls. Or we just drifted apart after the divorce.

We are grown women who find it difficult to make new friends.
I personally find that women I meet don't nurture female friendships like when we are young.  Once married, on career path and/or with children we get so busy that we neglect our girlfriends and time moves us all on.  Girlfriends are the first to go when busy it seems.

But the point that drove it home for me was how we can choose to move away from people over time or perhaps they have moved away from you.  Perhaps they went with the Ex after the divorce or the one friend who just sucks the living life out of you with pessimism and negativity.

I find that because I moved so much for my career that I have friends everywhere but where I live now. How bad is that? It is a plane ride away to all of them. 
I want to call them and say, C'mon over for some wine or coffee or whatever it may be.
I want to sit and bitch or laugh and share. I just want to have girlfriends close by again.
A true friend who will allow you to complain about your hubby but not hold it against him. She knows it's just that day that he is driving you nuts.  A safe place between friends.

I have let some "friends' go by the way side on purpose.
One that comes to mind was recently.  She was just so darn negative that it drained me to talk with her.....or to listen to her is probably better stated. I don't remember it being this way at the beginning. Was she this way and I didn't noticed or did it become more in time as she became so miserable in her own life and skin?

This poor gal was in a bad marriage with difficult kids.
She hated her life although she would never say those words and deny it if anyone ever did say them to her.
She complained for the last 20 yrs I knew her about the same things.
Yet she didn't do anything different to make things better or to change them.
She never wanted to make the changes necessary to make her life better so I just listened, and listened and listened.  Then I noticed that as my career moved up and on she would be meaner and negative about anything I did. I found myself leaving out things I had done.
I purposely found myself leaving out places I had gone, things I bought or any updates in general of my life. If I felt like complaining about something that was all I did because that is all she could handle.  If she thought I was unhappy it made her happy. Is that really a friend?

One day I wrote a funny email to my friends on my birthday with a series of photo's of a gorgeous home on the lake where our modest little home lives.  I wrote, "look what Rick bought me for my birthday!" 
It was a beautiful home on several acres and was also several zllion dollars. 
So everyone knew it was a joke. 
All wrote back funny things like, "And I was thrilled when my hubby bought me a used car!"  "That is exactly what I was going to get you now only my bottle of wine will do"
You know silly things like that.
But her response was, "that color in the kitchen is dreadful and that wainscoting is so this or that and on and on of a series of negativity of the home as though this was real."
That was the proverbial last straw for me. This was obviously a joke but was her response a joke?  So I asked.  Nope she thought it was a dreadful place that would soon be outdated.
And off she went.

As she rambled on my mind wandered.  I thought why do I bother with all this garbage? 
I'm too old to give a hoot.  I don't want to be around people who are so toxic. 
So we said our good byes that day on the phone and that was the last time I contacted her. She only reached out once to send me an email about some political rhetoric. 
I don't know if she knew I was pulling away and that is why I have not heard from her. 
Or perhaps she didn't believe my repeated attempts at trying to convince her this home really wasn't a gift just a joke.  For all I know she is mad that I haven't invited her there.
Because if she thought it was my home she could never be happy for me she could only be green with envy and she would stay away. 
Both are ridiculous and neither are friendship.

The article made me feel better that I wasn't the only one out here looking for pals.
I love my hubby but honestly I just need girlfriends once in awhile.
Guess that's why we all blog .... to connect.

But the article also told of great ways to get women together for no other reason than socializing.  No books to read, not sweaters to knit.  To just get together to socialize and let it take it's form.

I'd like to try that.  But it comes full circle for me I'm afraid. Now where do I come up with these interesting women to invite because that seems to be the problem!

Be Vewy Vewy Quiet

Shhhh......

She's trying to sleep.

Yep that is correct I just hit the desk like this just before lunch today. 

The difference was that my arms were at my side. I actually slept like this for 28 minutes. 

I was drooling.  Lovely picture eh?  

I now have an imprint of a folder on my forehead.

But I got 28 minutes of sleep that I didn't get last evening yet again. 

When I was a young girl sleeping was so easy and I just do not think I appreciated it nearly enough.

But for that matter I didn't appreciate my taunt body, my pert boobs, my parents wisdom or my ability to fear nothing (okay other than cats)

I was way too embarrassed by such foolish things when I was young.

One of those oh so embarrassing things was that I was taken out of my reading or English class from grade 1 to Grade 7 for speech lessons 2 times a week.

I still have issues with this particular letter that I took classes for. 

It rears its ugly head when I've had a few too many martini's or glasses of wine. 

Usually, no one notices but if hubby is there he will say something and then I am mortified. 

My big secret is as a child I sounded a lot like Elmer Fudd. Thankfully after graduating from speech class in the 7th grade I was a full-fledged hard R speaking gal who did not sound like Elmer or Barbara Walters any longer!

7 long years of speech class.

If you heard my father speak it's a wonder I am in any way articulate at all.

He has 5 goyals. (girls)

He has a mudda and a fadda (mother/father)

His profession was as a masta pluma (master plumber)

He worked on turlets. (toilets)

Yep, that is my dad. 

For those old enough to know this character he sounded like Archie Bunker.

(in too many ways, unfortunately)

He came over to this country and moved to NY.  This is how he learned to speak English he claims.  I seriously doubt that but we'll go with it.

He never understood why the school thought I had a speech problem.

I said, "wabbit and wadio" He thought I'd outgrow it.

But then they told him that there was no such thing as a sangwich.

He thought they were nuts but for once he believed they may know more than he did on this topic.  So off to speech class I went.

At first, I was embarrassed that they took me out of my class. 

I took some abuse as you can well imagine from some awful kids. 

Interestingly they never made fun of my speech just that I had to go to speech class. Odd isn't it?

My speech teacher who came to the school a couple of days a week would knock on the door and ask for me.  So down the hall we'd go and knock on the next door and by the time we gathered all the other misfits of speech we'd go to our room and begin.

One girl named Heather had problems saying her S's.  

I remember it sounded like a lisp. 

But what really enthralled me about Heather was that she had a pet monkey. 

Forget that she couldn't get her tongue behind her teeth for the correct sound - SHE HAD A MONKEY FOR A PET!

On Monday's we had speech class and we each had to tell a story about our weekend.

I loved her stories!  And she always had pictures of her monkey doing what I thought were fun things. 

My life was so boring and grey in comparison to her colorful stories.

I thought she was the coolest person in the world. And how lucky, a monkey! 

I wanted a monkey. My mom didn't like dogs so certainly no "dirty monkey" was going to live with us was the response when I asked. 

I would just think it was so damn cool to have a monkey at your house. 

Now I think, gee I bet that smells.  Funny what age does to you.

The other poor boy in our class had a problem making the TH sound. 

So Mr. Simon worked with us all together and individually.

Our homework was always the same. Practice and reading aloud.

I had to practice my R's for 30 minutes in the evening. (err err err)

My mom had to sign her initials in the box by the proper date to say I did indeed do my 30 minutes of growling out my hard R's. 

Which by the way were never hard R's for the first couple of years.

I had to do this  7 days a week.

Normally my Mom would make me do them as I dried the dishes with her. 

I think if my child was making the Err Err Err sound for 30 straight minutes I may have to wear earplugs or flip out. But she never did.  

I do remember a couple of times while sitting at the kitchen table saying, R, R, R, R over and over again that she came over, signed the paper and said, "Peggy that's all for tonight ok?"  I said, "But it's only been 20 minutes,"  She told me that we wouldn't tell Mr. Simon and just take a night off. I thought that was cool.  As an adult, I realize she just needed a break.  How she tolerated 20 minutes is beyond me.

Then once I began piano lessons she suggested that I practice my R's with my scales.

So now I was R'ing with my scales like a song.

Honest to Pete I don't know how she ignored this.

Just think about it and you could just imagine the "noise"

But apparently, it was easier for her than my father.

I practiced my piano most days after school.

But this one evening after dinner I was practicing my scales along with my saying my R's in sync with my scales.

My father had the news on in the background and reading the paper as I sat at the piano rolling my R's in the living room.

Just imagine that sound with me pounding out my scales and saying R R R for 30 straight minutes.

I don't know how long I was doing this when my father came over to the piano.

Never uttering a word, he slowly moved my hands and put the top down on the keyboard and he walked back to his chair.  All the while I am still RRRR'ing.   My mom walked by and said why aren't you playing?  He sadly begged us, "For the Love of God,  please not tonight okay you two?"

I remember my mom chuckled.  I asked, "But Miss Rose gets really mad when I don't practice and so does Mr. Simon."  (yes, I was type A kind of kid too) My mom grabbed my hand and suggested we go to my room as I RRR all the way down the hall.  I practiced my R's and she signed my paper. I didn't like it if Mr. Simon would be upset like he was some days at Heather or Joey.   He was a bit scary to me.

Today after a long day of work I really enjoy the quiet, a glass of wine with Rick and just a peaceful setting. So thinking about this makes me laugh.  I don't know that I would have done anything differently than my dad did that day.  I mean seriously how long can you listen to someone doing the hard R sound without snapping?  Let alone the constant torture of the scales.

Do your kids have to do something that annoys the living hell out of you?

Sleepy and Cranky.....not a new song title by Me

I am not sleeping well at all.
I seriously need sleep.  I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
I am either bitching or crying.
It's a no wonder my poor dog and hubby just stare at me.
I didn't sleep on vacation either.  But it made me lay in bed so I didn't wake others.
At home here I walk around the house.  I try to read and can't focus.
I am a mess.  I may need padded walls soon.

I do not like taking sleeping aids but I have begun to try that too.
Over the counter items work once and that is it.
I got sleeping pills from my doctor.  I was afraid to take them
But I finally decided I couldn't be a walking zombie anymore.
So I took 1.  I woke up at 1am.  It said to take 1 or 2.
Due to fear of never waking up I only took 1.
Guess that was wasted fear.

I honestly feel like this.

Do you know that even Nyquil doesn't work for me anymore? 

What next I will now hate ice cream?

Look I am a curmudgeon on my own, you add sleeplessness to the equation and I am certifiably cranky.

And speaking of cranky.  I love this guy.  I doubt he's old but I find his blog a hoot.

I am old and find his complaining makes me happy.  Says more about me I suppose than about him. I love a curmudgeon friend.  He does not know me but I find him oddly comforting so I am calling him my friend.

Have a good Thursday.

I am going to go forth and be Ms. Cranky Pants today.

Random Ramblings

Have I told you how much I dislike our employee?
Jeez I want to punch him.
Aside from some right wing mean spirited bigots I don't often feel like punching people.
I want to punch him...very hard.

My husband thinks he is awesome at his job so I tolerate him.
But honest to God you have no idea of the self control it takes not to just pummel this brat.

I just erased all the stuff I just wrote about him because honestly he makes me angry and as I write this I find my blood pressure rising and my heart pounding. 
I so dislike this kid. (or as I have fondly named him, the little prick)
He is so respectful to Rick.  To me, a woman, it's another story.
I tell him something and he doesn't do it. So I tell Rick and Rick calls him and he does it. 
Rick even talked to him about it and he acted like he didn't know what he was talking about.  Then of course Rick asks me if I am sure that was the situation!  AARGH!!!
Oh I could go on but I'll leave you just with that little nugget.

In other news.....
**I mentioned that our friends and neighbors got a transfer to Cleveland and are moving in 2 weeks. But they found out 5 days later that his father passed. He was supposed to move this week but that obviously has now changed. So with their 6 month old in tow they drove 7 hrs north to be with the family.  They will be arriving home tonight. This weekend is their first open house. So they are packing, moving and dealing with a family death.  All in the span of 3 weeks time.  I feel so badly for them. Her job is asking her to continue working up until she leaves. (she is staying that extra week)  She is feeling such stress and I can only imagine.
I asked them to come over Sunday during the open house to sit on the patio and have lunch and a few beers or whatever.  We have a little baby pool we'll blow up for the baby and maybe she will get a kick out of that.  I bought the baby a bikini when she was born so when she came to the lake she would be all the rage in baby fashion.  Nothing cuter than a chubby baby in a bikini.  Too bad chubby me in a bikini isn't as cute. They need some R & R if even only for an afternoon.  I'm going to miss them so much.

**It has now come to a point where I am getting solicitations sent to me via email from the blog. I do not do all those hokey give aways or advertise on my blog so how do these people find me? I must be a magnet for nut jobs and sales people.  Really stop it!

**I am now going to whine about some stuff that you are not going to feel sorry for me about. But tough, I feel the need to whine.  I miss my cleaning lady.  I miss her so much I could cry.
I miss all those that I could pay to have things done for me in my previous life.
I hate now being poor.  Sewing, cleaning, dry cleaning, yard work, whatever it was.
I now do this crap and I hate it.  I still work a lot and don't have time but now I don't have money either.  Truth be told my house used to be perfection all the time, now it needs swept and cleaned all the damn time.  I know I know I should be thankful I have a job. I get it.
But I still want to whine.  I need a wife.  I need someone to clean, cook and generally take care of me like a 1950's housewife.  Too bad they aren't on Craig's list because honestly I think there are a lot of folks like me who want to hire June Cleaver. 
A gal can dream.

**I like most of the  customers most days.
But this crazy ass woman was difficult from the get go.
I would have turned her lousy little job away.  You could just tell she wasn''t worth the hassle for lousy few hundred dollars.
But my hubby thinks differently.
Yet I am always right.
She was difficult on the phone from the very first call I knew it wasn't going to be any better in her home.
She demanded that we not be a minute early.
So he sat in her driveway until he was allowed to ring her bell.
Then she told him she saw him sitting in her drive way and "it was a damn good thing you knew better than to try coming before 10am. " OMG.
Her last contractor walked away from her job because she was difficult. 
She even told me this saying that they didn't understand perfection.
Rick made a point to put a sample of the color on the current tile for her approval as to a perfect color match before he got started.
She approved of the color match and signed the paper saying she approved. 
But yet when it was completed - she didn't think it matched anymore and was hysterical.
With hands flailing about she was screaming that no one understands perfection.
She is refusing to pay unless it is perfect. She was not promised perfect.
I told her as did Rick that we can only get as close as we can get. 
I told her that Rick will show her the color and she can approve or not approve.
So now here it is done in the same color that she approved.
That same color that she said was perfect.
Me, being a bitch told hubby that nothing was going to make her happy.
Either way he is losing money if he goes back or not.  Either way he is not being paid.
I think her kind will never be happy.
So if he goes back and spends another 3 hrs there trying to make her happy he has lost money. The job will actually cost him.  He has never walked away before but I think this one he should.  She actually told us proudly that she's had 7 contractors and let them all go.  
(and without pay) 
So apparently my husbands need to be liked far outweighs his logic on this subject.
She lives in a 3 million dollar home and gets work for free this way I am sure of it. 
Let it go I say.  I'd walk just like the last guy did.  But I know him, he won't.
This just happened this morning. He told me he'd think about it and let me know.
I will have to be little miss sunshine when I call this nut job and ask to make arrangements to come back to her home at the precise time and date of her liking and not our schedule as the rest of the world kindly does. 
She gets what she wants because she is a bitch.
Wouldn't it be nice if she got what she wanted by being nice?
And for the record I did that for someone yesterday. 
Bad situation and I gave away the store. 
But they were so nice.
So apparently this is our Karma for being nice.

** I'm really in a foul ass mood aren't I?
Where's Raquel, she likes me like this. :-)