Weekly Round Up

 I've shared with you that Rick is incredibly stubborn. I think this to be his worst trait. He infuriates me at times.

We have this ugly light that we planned to remove when we moved in. Then all medical hell broke lose so still dealing with this 80s track lighting. It is the only overhead lighting. 

Now if ugly is not bad enough it has weird ass light bulbs. You can't just stop at a store and get these. They don't screw in like normal bulbs. These have two pointy things to insert into the holes in the base.

Rick is a big guy of 6'2" and his hands are big. The globes that are over crazy bulbs is small and narrow. My hands can barely get inside.

All the bulbs died but one. This doesn't give us much light as it is. We needed light. Rick finally tracked down new bulbs online.

Now I know he can reach the bulbs but he can't remove the glass globes and the screws that hold them on without the first step on stepstool.

I begged him not to do this. No step stool. He still has issues with balance etc. I was having a very bad day and asked to please not do this now. I planned to call my handy man. He said he wouldn't use the stool.

We all know where this is going don't we?  

I fell asleep. He was watching his beloved Price Is Right. I awake to the noise of glass breaking in the house.

I manage to get up and I grab my cane. I see the bulb shattered. He screamed for me to stay out of kitchen because I was in bare feet.

So he didn't use the stool as he promised but he still attempted to do the job, knowing full well his hand did not full well inside to remove the bulbs

I see so much blood everywhere. I tell him to get the bleed stop. This, for those who do not know, is to be used immediately for cuts and injuries for those who are taking blood thinners.He says he is fine as he is bleeding everywhere as he is sweeping up glass. He is holding a paper towel on his fingers and the towel is already red.

I put on my slide in slippers and enter the kitchen. He is now reaching for the box Bleed Stop. We have never used it, but I opened it thinking that would be easier than fighting with this box in an emergency. That enabled Rick to just put his hand inside to grab the application. He was holding his hand with paper towels dripping everywhere. Boy these 2 small cuts are bleeding. He yells at me to go in the other room.

He put on the Bleed Stop and bam, he stopped bleeding. But not before running around the kitchen bleeding everywhere. He came into the living room and apologized.

I was livid. He thinks he can do what he has always done and after 2 yrs he still refuses to believe it.He promised me he wouldn't get on a stool and he didnt he says. I know, I tell him because he couldn't get his big hands inside that small globe and he broke the new bulb into teeny tiny pieces. 

Oh you don't know livid until you live with this stubborn man.

He tends to nap around 3pm. I thought if he naps today I'll enter the kitchen and see the damage. He said he cleaned everything up. I knew better. 

Like clockwork he took his nap. I made my way to the kitchen. I was wearing hard sole slippers and thank God I did.

There was blood and glass everywhere. I swept up the glass into a pile with a broom because I can't use the vacuum. I'd let him get this pile. Then I saw all the blood. OMG.

Blood droppings on the floor like a trail. I followed it as I got a mop. Now mind you I can't walk well. I had to sit and then begin again several times. 

I opened the cabinet where the Blood Stop is kept. There is blood all over the box and things around it. 

I cleaned up the floor and then began on the counter top on the island. The counter top is white. How did he not see all this blood?

Not only on top of counter but on the sides. Some down the cabinet. When I went to sink I saw blood on the faucet and then I saw the paper towels. Blood on the top so every towel will have blood on it. This man just infuriates me!

"Oh, I don't need blood stop in every room thats over kill Margaret"

I can do this without taking off the globes.he tells me.  Famous last words. 

When he woke up I told him I saw more glass and left him the pile to scoop up. He thanked me. I said nothing else. I was too mad and after 38 years of living together and throw in 6 mos of marriage couseling I've learned to not speak about the incident when I am that angry. 

He thanked me and apologized again. I asked him when he thought he could listen to the dr when he tells you about being cut. Rick said,"it wasn't a big cut for Pete's sake." "Well I think we've seen now that even a tiny slice in you two fingers is a big deal"

He says, "yeah" like a defeated child. Then he tells me he can do if he wore his rawhide gloves.

Oh for the love of God.

Once my anger subsided I felt bad for him. This stroke affected him the most mentally and his ego. I feel like I understand but this didn't happen to me. I know how I hate being dependent on him right now and sometimes I too do things I'm not suppose to.

In one of my drug induced naps,he removed the globes the next day wearing gloves. He got the bulbs in. No blood. No broken glass. I thanked him for being careful on that step stool. He laughed and said, "yeah, if I fell you'd be of no help to me" 

"Hey I can call 911 mister"

We could now laugh about this. Whew.

So the two of us learned  lessons.  I just hope next lesson is not a Crime Scene Kitchen scenario again. 

How'd your week go?

High As A Kite

 Yep, I'm high as a kite.

My husband says he'd trade with me. Oh not the pain, just this horrible high. Adding steroids and gambapentin on top of oxy and muscle relaxer is a bad combo.

Rick made me eat a breakfast and lunch. I don't normally do lunch but I thought maybe this would help. Nope. But everything is making me laugh and my pain is minor. So...

So there is your Wednesday update. Yes, I had to ask what day it was, your point?

Happy Humpday!

Wack-A-Mole

Another post by phone. This ain't easy folks. Or maybe it's not the phone it's my fat old fingers.

I had a drs appointment today. Every bump, pothole, uneven pavement in the road Rick managed to hit. I know he couldn't help it but I felt like he was playing wack-a-mole. He kept saying, sorry, sorry. I told him to stop I knew he couldn't help it.

I was told 12-15% continue with an issue. Because all the other areas of pain have gone away except one area. (Hip,thigh,groin,pain to knee) they asked if I would be willing to do a steroid pack. 

No, I don't want to but I will. I understand their logic. Removing the calcium build up was the worst that was done to me. That always is last, however they don't think I should be in this

much pain. The calcium build up irritated the nerves I know, but this much discomfort?

We agreed on the following. More meds, steroid pack, gambapentin at night along with what I'm taking. Then if no relief another MRI. The location of this pain is the location of an epidural I had and it fixed it temporarily. 

So maybe I will have to do that again. 

So for now more drugs. See them in 2 weeks and we go from there.

There ya have it! 

When we left for the doctors I was cold but knew if I just wore a sweatshirt that would be enough. When we left the Dr's I couldn't believe how hot it had gotten.

I was dying in my hooded sweatshirt. It was 65 degrees. Last week ice storm, this week high 60s. By end of week 70.

A package arrived when we got home. I said, did you order something because I didn't. He responded, "well someone's birthday is coming up."

He got me a grabber. I mean you may as well have gotten me toilet cleaner, a vacuum, an iron. Wtf? This is not what you get an old woman on her birthday!! A facelift, a spa day, a book, a boob lift, an afternoon with Gerard Butler!

Normally Rick is a great gift giver.  His gifts have always been thoughtful. Of course I'll use this. But geez. 

I'm an ungrateful ole wench aren't I?

Ice Ice Baby

My doctors office called very early Thursday to cancel my appointment due to the ice. I was not disappointed. I really feared falling. They rescheduled me for Monday and called in a refill of my pain meds.

In other good news.

On my left leg from my knee down to my toes are no longer numb/tingling/on fire. Just gone. Hopefully this will move up to the real pain.

I found I can lay on my right side with my back being supported by the sofa. I can put my left leg on a pillow and I'm comfortable for an hour. Now I know that seems silly but I've been in a recliner for months, a somewhat laying down position feels so damn good. Getting up isn't easy and I REALLY hurt after I do it but it's so worth it on some days.

So I settled in and we were about to watch the new episode of Paradise. Rick was running his fingers through my hair. (I happen to love that.) We both fell asleep. I was awaken to him yanking my hair, hard. I yelled, Rick what are you doing?

He was dreaming about fishing and he had a big one on the line (my hair) and he was jerking to hook it and reeling it in.

He kept apologizing. I thought it was funny. He did something similar a few years ago. 

Then he did it again. Only this time my leg. We were watching a stand up comedian. He was rubbing my leg and he fell asleep. He then began twitching and moving his hand in a weird motion.

I woke him. Apparently he was stirring his soup he was making. I guess the twitch was adding the ingredients.

Moral of the story, do not try to lay down because you'll pay for it.  Do not allow Rick to touch you and treat you like a salmon or a pot of chili.

Then earlier this week he had a visitor.

He asked me in the morning if I came into the bedroom. Nope. 

He said he swore he heard me come down the hall but he didn't hear my cane. Then he heard the door open and my side of the bed 'go down' as if someone was leaning on the bed with their palms flat on the bed. Then he said that the door closed. 

When he woke up he came into the living room and asked me if I came in to check on him. 

No, I did not leave the chair. 

Really? 

I told him he was probably dreaming. 

He insists he wasn't dreaming. He went on to explain, I even said to you that I was up did you need amything? That's when he realized the door was closed and I wasn't in there.

He swears this wasn't a dream. I think I may need to count my meds. Someone may be getting into them.

Paradise

 Hello.  Remember me?

Wow. It's been a helluva ride and it continues.

Now normally when I have had a laminectomy I wake from surgery and I have no pain. Just the discomfort of surgery. 

But not this time. I am worse than when I went in.

It's a 12. I can honestly say this is worse than before the fall. It is so bad.

Sitting in this chair to type this is painful.

I try not to take the pain meds but I was weak. But they took 10/11 months to give me anything for pain I don't wish to run out. I've tried just taking a 1/2 but it doesn't do the trick. So I am taking both a muscle relaxer and an opioid (percocet/oxycodone) Sleep is certainly no longer an issue.

I am to take them every 4 hrs. I don't. I try to go until I can't go any longer At that point I would admit to war crimes I never committed. 

I had a lot of calcium build up on my spinal canal and that was why they couldn't get the wire into me for the spinal stimulator.  The doctor told Rick this after the surgery and said, "No wonder she was in such horrific pain"

No shit Sherlock.

I basically am in a chair most of the day. Yes, the ugly chair. We are bonded now.  I walk around the island with my cane. I walk down the hall to the bathroom. I wish the bathroom was 4 feet closer at times. I can not walk fast. I try to walk as much as possible. It's very very painful but I have to walk. They said that was important and I know that from previous surgeries.

 

My husband went grocery shopping last week. Oh my.  

I do not buy processed foods. 

Sometimes I will get something quick for Rick. But I don't eat processed foods because most have gluten and those that claim to be gluten-free are loaded with chemicals and sugar and just plain crap.  But my husband went shopping.  He came home with things I would never eat except for the tub of Tillamook Chocolate Ice Cream. Mmmmm...

I get it. He didn't wish to cook. I don't blame him. But I'd be fine having a bowl of rice chex for dinner. He bought me a couple of frozen dinners that were gluten-free meals. The first one I had was so very bad. It was supposed to be something Mexican.  I don't recall now. It was bad. I was starving and I ate it. Thankfully it was small. Basically, it was beans in a tomato sauce. Boy, I couldn't be gluten-free and a vegan that is for certain!  

Well if you wish to know how to avoid the opioid constipation side effect that little meal will do it. We were laughing. I couldn't walk quickly enough. Oh, I would hustle and Rick would hear me going, oh, oh, oh. Thankfully I made it but 2 times it was close. TMI?  Well of course. You missed me right? LOL

I told Rick I needed a scooter. The other one he bought was enchiladas.  

I don't know if I dare to eat another.

So you see, I am not doing well. I see the doctor on the 20th. Hopefully, I get some answers.

Just to give you some idea of what I have had done. Here is Dr. Google.

Metrxhemilaminectectamy

A hemilaminectomy is a spine surgery that involves removing one of the two laiminae on a vertebra to relieve excess pressure on the spinal nerve(s) in the spine. It's minimally invasive.

I have this as well -Spinal stenosis: A

condition where the spinal

canal narrows and pinches

the nerves.

• Ankylosing spondylitis: A

condition where long-term

inflammation of the spinal

joints leads to calcium

deposits.  

The above condition of calcium were removed as well as herniated discs.

Microdiscectomy is a

minimally invasive

surgical procedure used

to treat a herniated disc

in the lower back (lumbar

spine).

Purpose

• To relieve pain, numbness,

or weakness in the leg

caused by a herniated

disc.

• To remove the portion of

the disc that is

compressing the nerve

root.

Okay, enough science.

I have watched a lot of TV.  Reading is difficult for me right now but if I read I instantly fall asleep. Watching TV I do the same but I can watch a full show and stay awake. Will I remember it? 50-50 chance. Of course depending on when I took my meds if I remember or if I stay awake.  

Not a good place to live. I don't understand people's love of this drug.

I like wine, gin, and cannabis. Opioids not so much. Don't like this feeling. In the 80s I tried cocaine twice. I knew I loved it and never did it again because I knew this could be a problem for me since I loved it so much. 

So I just never did it again. I have a friend who said that was great willpower. Not really.  I just know me. 

I didn't get involved enough to have it be willpower. 

I knew enough to stay away.

 Wine, gin, and cannabis are all the same to me.

Now speaking of addictions, we are both addicted to the show Paradise. 

It's a thriller. I hate that they dole them out one at a time. 

It is so damn good. Sterling K Brown is terrific in this show. It's on Hulu if you have it. We have gone back and forth on who did it. I really enjoy these types of thrillers. 

OOh and before I forget, Ugly Naked Guy wore clothes outside. Long pants and a shirt. He was grilling his dinner and yes, it is very cold here but that's never stopped him before. We didn't even know he owned long pants and shirts. Rick came inside and announced he was dressed completely, it's not quite spring.  I had to laugh.  Normally February is spring here but not so much this year. Lows in the teens. Snow is expected tomorrow. Brrr.

I promise to be here more. I am trying like hell to have a routine. 

Beside my care giver is not doing so well and boy do I have stories. 

:-)

Bounce Back

I need just a wee bit more time. Talk amongst yourselves 😄

Special Place in Hell

He messes with everyone I am not the only poor soul who he does this to as you will see below.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Feeling good and feisty

I'm feeling better by 50% and that's always a good thing isn't it?
Better than feeling worse by 50%.

Some updates shall we?

***After a few games of backgammon yesterday my hubby informed me that he only plays this game with me to make me feel good about myself.
The sore loser. (should have told him that's why I sleep with him too!)

***Friday afternoon Rick went to get his hair cut. As I have mentioned here in the blog, he is having surgery in December for a hernia. After getting a haircut they were talking about the schedule for the next appt. at the front desk. He mentions surgery. The cute young thing says, "Oh I hope it's nothing major. He says, "Well just having my ear removed" She is now looking at both his ears, back and forth. He continues, "Can't really tell which one can you?" This poor thing. I have been that naive young thing with him long ago. How he doesn't laugh makes me laugh. I even told her he may grow out his hair to hide it. Only when his hairdresser came up and heard this conversation and began to laugh did this poor thing, who has such empathy on her face, realizes this old coot is fucking with her. How does he not feel badly about this? I think there is a special place in hell for him.

***After the new carpet and remodeling of our 2nd floor I asked Rick if he would mind moving this (ugly) chair of his to his walk-in closet.  (chair has sentimental value to him)  My theory was that it was a mere foot away and since there was so much room in that big ole closet he could throw his clothes on the chair inside the closet, leaving the room neater looking. He actually said, "Hey that's a great idea". To be followed by this below.
EXACTLY where the chair was next to the dog bed. How can you not laugh at him? So the chair is in the closet but the clothes now go on the floor.  Not what I meant Mister.

I am going to see my ortho, Dr. Tall, Tan, and Gorgeous this afternoon regarding the MRI just done on my knee. I asked Rick to come with me, sometimes I don't hear what Dr. Tall, Tan and Gorgeous says right away. He has perfect teeth too. Just sayin' I see him, not always hear him. Kind of like how Rick is with cleavage.

Oops.

 Okay, this isn't Rick being a prankster as much as it is my boo-boo.

Ooooh, he was so unhappy with me on this day.  Note to self - never work with your husband. It's not easy for either of you.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Oops, I did it again!

I typed 5405 instead of 5404.
That meant Rick went to the wrong house - again.
This just happened this morning.

He saw a few cabs in the driveway which he thought odd.
He rang the bell and a nice man whose English wasn't great answered the door.  He was very very friendly. 
Rick told him he was there to look at the bathtub for their estimate.

The man brought him through the house into the kitchen.
There sat a few more men at the table. They all wore a turban. 
They were all Muslim men. Joking with one another and teasing and laughing.
They were making breakfast and chatting around the table.

The man shows him to the back door and Rick thinks, that is an odd way to get to the bathroom. Then he said will you need a ladder?
Rick laughed and said, I hope not. I am here to see the bathroom guys.
They thought he said the roof.  Ooh, they say and laugh heartily. 
Another whose English is better is teasing this man who asked Rick about the ladder. There was a lot of laughter at this point.
The man tells Rick there is someone in the bathroom right now, have a seat and you can wait.

Rick sits down at the table to wait. They are all laughing and talking and the TV is on. The TV is all in Arabic. The man sees Rick looking at the TV and he says, "We are doing this so it's secret to you" Rick laughed.  
He said they were all so friendly and happy. 
Some things said got them roaring with laughter as well as Rick. 
(But I feel if I type it here I could offend.)
He chatted with them about the taxis in the driveway, apparently, they all drove a cab. 

Then as he turned his head, they put a plate of eggs, sausage, toast, and home fries in front of him and told Rick to enjoy some breakfast with them. 
Rick said, "Thank you guys but I am not here to eat, but thank you it looks great"
At that moment the man walked out of the bathroom and looked at this white guy like, "Who are you?"  Rick stood up and extended his hand. He told him who he was, and what company he was from and repeated that he was there to view the bathroom for an estimate for your landlord. 

The man was certainly puzzled now and told Rick, "I bought this house 1.5 years ago I don't have a landlord." Rick asks, "Is this 5405?"  The man says, "It is."
Rick said, "Well  I seem to be at the wrong house I apologize."
Then all the men stood up to shake his hand and ask again if he wanted food to go.  Rick said he did not, but he may stop back later because you guys sure are fun." 

As Rick walked to his truck he called the number I gave him for the tenant. (thankfully that number was correct) The house was 5404, across the street.
When he arrived at 5404, the tenant said I saw you going over there but figured maybe you were doing work for them too.

Needless, to say Rick called me after that estimate while heading to his next job. 
Thankfully he was laughing this time. He said, "These men were so nice and welcoming, I wish our customers were that nice."

Whew, he wasn't angry this time. I may have to thank those guys myself!

HE thinks HE's Funny

Today is my surgery at 230pm. This should post on my day of surgery, the 5th.

I won't be typing for a bit.

I'm not sure what to expect, but I am uneasy and scared for some reason.

Never had that before. Hopefully, this isn't foreboding.

Anyway, I am going to go back into the archives.

You all seem to enjoy Rick's torturing me and making me the butt of the joke. Sadly I do find the funny in it. I wish I didn't. 

But still....damn him!  I added a couple of those here but not all. 

I will be repeating some old archive posts. 

Yes, I could have prepared all new ones.

But a concussion, back pain, and all things that need to be done before I am unable I just don't have it in me.

So here is the first one. 

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Throw Back Sort of...

I mentioned yesterday how my husband brought me flowers and I prayed they weren't from someone's yard.
I wrote this a while back. He loves to mess with me and over the last 30 years, I prefer to not be messed with. I still fall for some of the shit he pulls, some not so much. I hope I would have learned something in 30+ years.

Here are a couple of examples of things he has done to me in the past. 
We were driving through Cooks Forest in PA. 
We were on our way to visit his family. 

We are both quiet. I am enjoying the scenery from my side of the car. 
All of a sudden he starts to sniff. He keeps sniffing. 
I ask, "What do you smell? "

"Don’t you smell anything?"

"No, I don’t."   sniff sniff

He opens his window all the way and sniffs some more. 

“Oh yea. I smell hot sausage pepper and onion sandwiches. 
I’m guessing about 2 miles down the road. You really don't smell this?” 

I am now hanging my head out the window like a fool sniffing the air.
"I really don’t smell anything at all Rick beside the pine trees.
"Wow." He sniffs again. "I really smell it now, you really don't? Try it again."

So I get up on my knees and am hanging out the window like a dog or jackass sniffing.
Then there it is – a clearing and a big silver food truck with a sign that says STOP. Hot sausage pepper and onion sandwiches.

"There it is. Oh my God  Rick I can’t believe you smelled this." 

He pulls over and says, "Well that made me hungry. Let’s have lunch."

I walk up to the window and place my order and tell the man that my boyfriend could smell these sandwiches 2 miles up the road. I went on and on like a damn fool. The sandwiches were good and we sat outside on the picnic tables and had a nice little lunch on a beautiful sunny fall day.

On the way home driving through Cooks Forest again I see a sign that says, “HOT SAUSAGE SANDWICHES 2 MILES UP THE ROAD”

I look at Rick and he began to laugh. 

"There was a sign coming down here that I didn't see wasn’t there?"

"Yep."

"So I made a complete ass of myself to that man when I ordered my sandwich?"

"Well I was winking at him over your head – you were cute – it wasn’t that bad."
He was laughing like crazy at this point.

So not funny. I can’t believe I fell for his shit yet again.

"Oh, someday I am so going to get you back."

"Uh-huh."
______________
When I was living in Ohio and he was in Pennsylvania he came to visit one weekend with a beautiful potted plant that flowered. 
It was really nice. I had it in my apartment in a beautiful container and everyone commented on it. 

One evening I had some friends over and 2 of the women kept asking me the name of this plant. I told them that I didn't know the Latin proper name but Rick said they call it a “neighbor” plant. I continue on, "You know like this one here is called Epipremnum aureum I believe but generally, you just call it a pothos plant."  

Everyone nods their head and that is that.
A year later I am visiting Rick and we are taking a walk in the early evening. We get to this house on the corner of his block that has been vacant for some time and we are discussing possible reasons why it hasn't been inhabited because it was such a pretty Victorian house. As we walk around the one side of the rod iron fence I notice all of these “neighbor” plants around the fence and I point and say, “Wow look at all these neighbor plants.” 

Immediately Rick begins to laugh his ass off. Then it dawns on me….he stole a plant from this yard and he made up this name. I ask him if that is indeed what he did to me yet again and he admitted to this crime.

"Why do you keep doing this to me? I told people this was called a neighbor plant. I look like an idiot now"

"Well you’ll believe anything and it's so much fun. How could I have told you after you told me that story?"

"You make me look like a damn fool, Richard."

"Nah, you’re a cute gullible woman."

"Yes, that is exactly what the paper will say.  "Cute gullible woman kills man for always messing with her, jury lets her off because he was a charming sadistic shit"

_______________
One evening a few years ago we were watching Jeopardy he yelled out the question. "What is a Two-Toed Sloth?"  I begin to laugh. 
He paused the television to ask why I think that is so funny.  
Do I not believe him?  I call him critter boy so why wouldn't critter boy know the name of this animal?
"Seriously a Two-Toed Sloth? That doesn't even sound like a real thing. You can make up things better than that. C’mon a two-toed sloth sounds like a neighbor plant to me."

He laughs and says, "Honestly this is a real animal, Margaret. "

"Yea, sure it is."

He unpauses the television and the questions was “What is a two-toed sloth?”

DAMN HIM!

And yet again I end up the fool. 
_____________

I asked once while at the lake about this land mass jetting out by this marina.
He gave it a name. I never believed him. I would just laugh when he mentioned it. He too would laugh so I was convinced he was lying. 

Five years later I learned from an article in the Laker Magazine that it was indeed called what he said it was. 

I just choose to not believe him now. But that too will probably bite me in the ass, you'll see. 

Countdown

I am busy believe it or not.

Trying to get a lot done while I can bend (sort of) and twist (sort of)

I won't be allowed to do either from Wednesday on.

Getting some food and I must drink gatorade before surgery. I HATE gatorade.  I find it sweet and gross like jello.

While I'm away I will share some archive posts.

I really don't know exactly how I'll feel and I think I will be laying low for a few days after the surgery. So I put those posts in the pipeline. If not, I will write and not use those.

Hopefully, the next time I 'talk' to you, I will be better than ever.

I wish they could do a face and boob lift at the same time at no extra charge.  Wouldn't that be nice? Heck, I'd skip the facelift if I could only choose one.

I need to get this surgery done before the asshat in charge takes away my medicare. And when did we elect musk?  Has anyone heard from Vance? 

musk must have given a helluva lot of money to the asshat to be in this position. ARGH!

Tell me again, how will my eggs be cheaper with tariffs? He is screwing our friends to the north and that alone is enough to make me lose my mind.

Ah, I'm not gonna think about it right now. I need to be calm and positive for what is upcoming. I need to concentrate on the positive.

See you all very soon.