Bacon

I saw this meme and loved it.

I showed it to Rick who thinks everything is better with butter or bacon.

Then I saw this one and my God that is my life!

Then I saw these two and wanted to vomit due to their truths. 

You're welcome

This one is also too close to home!

And finally - Gals, is this not the truth or what?  I'm lucky.

Odd Happenings

1. We had petunias in a planter box on our back porch last year. 

The direct sun and heat there made them look so sad by mid-July. 

So we dug them all up. We rototilled the soil. We planted new things that can withstand the direct hot southern afternoon sun. 

BUT...Petunias showed up. 

Not only in the box but in other planters around the deck. 

Apparently, seeds blew in the wind. Now I have petunias choking out the rest of the plants. I have to do something but I'm unsure what to do next. 

I have a couple of ideas though.

2. Rick asked if I'd make my antipasti salad. Mine? 

I laughed and said I would.

I went to the grocery store to get the meat and cheeses I did not have.

It calls for 1/4 -1/2 pound each of salami, provolone and ham. 

I always get it in a solid brick and then I cube it into the salad. Well, apparently this perplexed the gal at the deli counter. 

I asked for a 1/4 of salami but not sliced, I need it whole. 

If it's over, I told her, it's fine. 

She said, "I don't understand"  I explained it again but this time a bit differently. I see the salami in the deli case and I say, "See how that is like a brick of salami? I want it like that only in 1/4 or 1/2 pound however it's easier for you."

She looked so confused. 

Then she asked, "May I ask you what you do with it like this?"

I told her I make a cold pasta salad.  

She said, "You put this on lettuce with pasta?"

"No, it's just pasta, with tomatoes, olives, cheese, meat, etc." 

"I'm not sure I get it, that's weird," she makes a funny face and walks away to cut the order.

The lady in line next to me asked, "What are you making?" 

Honest to God people, they acted like I was an alien. 

I told her to hold on. I googled a photo of pasta salad. I showed her. 

She said, "Well isn't that somethin' "

I asked her if she had ever had it. 

She said, "I've never even seen it?"

WHAT?

Now I know I'm in the South but c'mon.

They'd have died if I told them I had a recipe for cold spaghetti salad too. 😂

I came home and told this to Rick and he howled. I made it without the green olives for him and he devoured a bowl. Lots left over, I should bring some to this person behind the deli cutting my Boars Head Meats and Cheeses. GF of course.

3. We have a ring doorbell. We also have a couple of ring cameras on and around our home. The one by the corner of our front porch has been going off lately and nothing or no one is there. Once it was a spider building a web, once it was a hummingbird. But lately absolutely nothing.

I asked Rick to send me the ring photo after it happened again. 

I saw an orb. 

I asked if he could see that orb or was it just a gray patch from a bad photo? 

Rick said, "No, it looks like an Orb to me. How did I not notice it before?"

I said," Maybe I'm crazy and it's not an orb." He suggested I ask Lisa.

We have a friend (neighbor) in VA who is a medium. I texted the photo to her and asked, "Is this an orb or am I crazy?" She answered in less than 30 seconds and said, "Okay I will see your crazy and raise you one dog."

WHAT?

She blew it up and it's a labrador face in the orb. She circled it and showed me and now I can't not see it. It looks like Izzy. Weird right?

She said you and Rick are lucky most can't see faces in orbs. 

But there are orbs with faces a lot of times. 

So there ya have it weird happenings in our little world.

Rant

I watch a lot of baseball this time of year.

Last night my team played on the West Coast. So even if I did receive this game to watch I may not have been able to stay awake for it.

All games I am unable to see because I did not buy the big $$$ package I normally will see things on my phone or watch a show called Quick Pitch. 

So this morning I went to MLB to watch the show Quick Pitch.

It gives you a rundown of the games and highlights all across the board.

I'm sure there is something equivalent in football but I don't watch football.

My rant is the bimbos they have on this damn show. (no men)

I assume they make them look like playmates or talking Barbies because they think their audience is 12-year-old boys or only men. 

The women are idiots. Sorry gals. They don't appear to have a lick of baseball knowledge. They have them wear a shirt and high heels, and if they can read off a teleprompter, they get the job. 

The other day the bimbo wearing a shirt, and I swear to you if she had pubic hair, you'd have seen it. She gave stats about my team saying they won so many in a row. WRONG we had just lost the day before. Granted she was reading. But if you knew the game she'd fact-check or as a sportscaster does, stop and say no, they have only won XYZ. 

She knows no one is listening to her as much as looking at her.

They would never make Harold Reynolds wear a Speedo to stand in front of a screen and spew information and scores. You laugh, but if you did laugh, you understand how ridiculous it is to have the women dressed like this.

Now I have a husband who LOVES scantily clad women. 

He tolerates baseball for me. He will watch games but he doesn't watch shows like Quick Pitch, etc.

He came into the room while I was waiting on the scores and asked me, "Why the hell do these women have nothing on? Because they think only men watch this? " Yep was my answer. It so infuriates me!!!

I also watch a M-F show at 9am called MLB Central.

I most often record it to watch later.

There are 3 hosts. 2 men and 1 woman. Lauren is as smart as a whip. 

She knows baseball! (she works on TBS too) 

She doesn't dress like a bimbo and she's cute as hell. 

My husband likes a segment on this show called Ham and Eggers. 

It shows the goofballs in the stands wearing stupid things, doing stupid things and they make fun of them. 

The other day Lauren said something funny and Rick said, "Geez she is cute as hell."  She didn't even have to be naked. Imagine that!

Then when they went back to the couch and she crossed her legs he said, "Great Legs too!"  

That's fine, I get that, she does. But she was fully clothed, her dress to her knees.  I drool over DeRo and his arms (and face etc) So I understand his comments. But no one is scantily clad. 

They hired a sportscaster who happened to be female. 

Not a bimbo scantily clad to read baseball stats.  

I watch MLB Central because it's an informative and funny talk show.

Okay, Rant over.

My team is doing well right now. But this is about the time things begin to fall apart. Fingers crossed this year will be different. We've had a 15-year drought on a World Series. It's time damn it! 

TV Resident

We discovered a television show on Netflix. 

Apparently, it was on Fox TV and then was canceled. 

We were unaware of all that when we began this show.

Due to my back issues, as you've all read ad nauseam, I am watching so damn much TV it's seriously concerning.

Reading isn't as easy anymore due to ole "Betty" so sadly I am that person who watches a lot of television now. I have found audiobooks to be dreadful. 

Every once in a while you get a good 'reader' but to me more often than not they are so flat it bores me and my mind drifts. After this last one, I quit the audiobooks forever.

I recall reading Lovely Bones many years ago. I loved the book. It was the first time I read a book and thought it would make a good movie. Boy was I wrong!

I don't normally like the movie if I read the book. The movie they made of Lovely Bones in plan terms, sucked big time and that is an understatement at best. 

Anyway, we were taking a long trip by car so I thought we could listen to this book on tape. I talked so much about it to Rick but I knew he'd never read it. So I suggested Lovely Bones while in the car. He thought it was a great idea. 

The woman telling this story was so flat and boring. 

Oh, she made it worse than the movie.

I was bored and I loved this book.

We only listened to it for a short time because neither of us could take it. 

Then we inserted a book on tape by David Sedaris. It was so damn funny Rick couldn't listen to it. He said he couldn't laugh that hard and drive. I understood that.

So here I am back to TV. The show we are watching is called The Resident.

After the first episode, I said that it seemed as though there was a quick break and then it comes back as if this was on TV before and these quick breaks were where they would insert a commercial. Of course, I googled it. 

Sure enough, we found out it was indeed a TV show.

We have watched 3 seasons now. When there is nothing on we like we default to this damn show. Sick of the news?  Let's watch a couple of episodes? Sick of Jeopary Masters? (hell yes!) Watch another couple of episodes.

The other night we both had dreams about this show. Not good ones either. 

The show is a bit gory for me so I look away a good deal. 

Rick, of course, loves that part most.

I suggested we not watch for a few days. But we were jonesing so we watched 3 episodes on Thursday. Then at 11pm we watched 3 more. 

What the hell is wrong with us? 

The shit that goes down in the hospital, money/profits over human life, is sickening at best. The God complexes of some surgeons are off the charts. 

Watching this makes you not want to go to a doctor or hospital ever again.

Have any of you watched this? 

Anniversary

I listened to you all, blogger friends.

I took Rick to his favorite restaurant in town for his coveted ribs.

I needed to keep his mind off the day and keep him occupied.

Other than walking around topless I needed to find a way to distract him.

Although I know he'd have preferred the topless option.

If you recall our first day of retirement he told me that he thought we needed to have Naked Tuesdays.  Oh, this man!

We did things around the garden and outside. Things I know he enjoys far more than me. His tomato plants are thriving like never before he said. 

I said, "Just like you"

We did all kinds of silly things and had a nice day of laughter and an afternoon cocktail. I then told him we were going to go to the Cleveland Draft House for dinner and he sure liked that idea.

We got drinks and toasted at our table and our waitress saw us as she walked by. 

She came over and asked if we were celebrating something. 

Rick told her yes. She asked, "Is it too personal to share?"

Rick said, "Hell no, I'll share. Today is one year since my stroke and we are celebrating that I am alive and well." 

She patted his arm and said, "That's a damn good reason to celebrate."  

She left and we both took a sip of our drinks and looked over the menu.

She returned to our table and gave Rick a chip for a free premium drink on the house because she was glad he was alive too.

Wasn't that nice?

When we got home I knew he would rewind his favorite show and settle in to watch Survivor (yuk)

I had other priorities and proceeded to take off my bra. I'm telling you being retired has spoiled me. I hate wearing heels now and hate my bra even more.

I couldn't go back to corporate America. How did I wear 3 or 4-inch heels daily and walk around airports and cities? Just damn awful to think about now that I go nowhere, no one sees me and I don't care what the hell I'm wearing in my own home. I've become a semi-slob. Thank God this guy loves me. And thank God women become invisible once they turn 50 so there is always that to remember. 

So all in all Rick had a very good day he said.  That's all that mattered!

Saw this yesterday and laughed. Oh so true. But my being schleppy didn't start until in my 60s.

Food

Tomorrow is Rick's stroke anniversary. For some reason that date scares him.

We were to go to the shore but with my back issue, I can't. 

So I will try to keep him busy and not think about or obsess about that damn day. 

I know it's probably impossible but between his birthday and the stroke, he said this isn't a good week.

I told him it was a great week because you overcame the stroke and you were able to have this birthday. He looked at me and said, "I hate it when you're right!"  

We both just laughed.

I sometimes read comments to Rick. While he doesn't read my posts I tell him the overview. He wanted me to share that while he is happy with his weight loss, having a stroke is not the way he would have liked to do it. 

Stroke changes have been big. Oh, not the fact that his left side is weak. It's the smell, the hearing, and the food that are all so different it's like I live with someone new.

He has always been a cheese freak. LOVING cheese is an understatement.  

He nibbled on cheese while looking for the bacon he told his doctor once. 

And it was 100% true and yet his cholesterol was very low. Something like 175. 

He was always snacking on cheese. He couldn't open the fridge to get something without grabbing some cheese. He loved grocery shopping with me at Wegmans and spent his time in their cheese area. And when I say area, I mean several aisles with men and women who let you sample all the different cheeses from around the world. He spent a fortune on cheese.

Yesterday I was cleaning out the fridge. I saw some of the cheeses I bought and I asked him why he wasn't eating them. He said he just doesn't care. Don't get me wrong he loves nothing more than what we had last evening, A Caprese Salad. 

For those who may not know, that is mozzarella cheese, fresh tomatoes, basil, S&P, olive oil, and a balsamic drizzle YUM. But if he is looking for something to nibble on now it's only me now and not cheese and me. 😀 Which isn't so bad.

He has a doctor appointment in June with his stroke doctor and I am going to ask him about all these changes. Are they normal? Like a commenter said she has never heard of such things after a stroke. Well, Rick has never been normal so I suppose that is all relative. But I am finding this stuff so interesting. 

I've shared with you before the things he liked for dinner have changed. He hasn't exactly come to my side yet but he's so far from where he was.

When he met me he had stopped at dinner time at my apartment one day out of the blue.

I had just made myself a little plate of cheese, a variety of Italian olives, and a slice of Italian bread. (before celiac) I poured myself a glass of wine and he showed up. He asked if I wanted to go to dinner. I said, I just made myself dinner. 

He said, You call this dinner? I said I did.

I said you can stay and join me I'll make more. He laughed and said he wasn't a fan of olives except for black. I made him try these. They were spicy and he said it was a hard no. He has always made fun of me because I will just eat some of those types of olives with a toasted gf baguette and he thinks it's gross and one shouldn't call it dinner or lunch.

I hate fish, so I think it's gross and smelly when he eats fish. And don't get me started with a fish on a plate staring back at you. No, I do not wish to see my food in its previous life form - EVER.

And sushi...ewww

Sushi was the reason man made fire if you ask me. 

Even after his recent stroke, we still are not completely on the same page. 

He grew up eating peanut butter and jelly and I grew up eating Salami and Provolone.

He grew up eating bread pudding and I grew up eating ricotta pie.

He used to love Salami. Now he thinks it smells and tastes like a wet dog.

I have never eaten wet dog so now I guess it's just more for me.

We are so alike in so many ways. So much so that a friend of his after he met me said, "Oh my God she is the female version of you Rick!"  

But when it comes to food we are miles apart.

My 2 favorite food groups used to be cake and chocolate. Rick never cared for either.  Now he wants both all the time. 

Every time we go out to dinner he prefers my meal over his.

One time in Atlantic City we went to a Cuban restaurant. I ordered this fabulous dish and he ordered whatever he ordered. When it came his looked so dry to me. But I said nothing to him, it was his choice. He wanted to taste my meal. Then he kept eating it. He said mine was better. He told me that I always order the best things. Okay, I let him have more than half. I'm weak. 

The last time we went out I was eyeing the menu when he said, "What are you getting?"

I told him.  He said then I'm gonna copy you because your meal is always better.

Good, better than eating off my plate I'd say!

Do you and your partner like the same foods?

Birthday Fun

Rick's birthday was Sunday.  

I had plans but it was his birthday so whatever he wanted is what we would normally do.

On Saturday he told me he'd like to just be home, work in his workshop, watch a movie and maybe have a Rum Nap. Ah, the notorious rum naps that he used to take at our lake house. 

Of course I laughed at his plans but it's his birthday so whatever he wants.

I bought him shorts and new swim trunks because the Y's pool opens up at the end of the month. Not a fun birthday gift but he still he did say he needed them and I acted like, REALLY?  He put on his swim trunks and they fall off him and he loves to swim and he anxiously awaiting for the pool to open. 

He's lost so much weight that none of his clothes fit him. The number on the scale has not changed in months and it drives him crazy. He religiously goes to the gym 3 x a week and he's more active now than ever. I told him to forget the scale since you have dropped another size in pants without losing weight it's all working for you.

His doctor told him she was fine with his weight as it is. 

He asked, "With this belly, really?"  She said, "Yes, all your numbers are perfect and you're not a small man so I think this number is just where you need to be."

He was not happy hearing this. 

Me? I'd be doing cartwheels if a doctor ever told me that in my life time.

Rick's pant size was 44. He now wears a 38.  He was wearing 42's and they were falling off him. He was standing in the kitchen when his pants just fell down. I laughed and asked if he had zipped and buttoned them. 

Oh he did.

So now all those new things purchased for a size 40 are now too big. 

I told him he can't afford all these new clothes stop it.  He laughs. 

Me? I'm going the opposite direction. Steroids, sedentary due to my back, it all sucks for me.

So his birthday shorts and swimming trunks were a 40 thinking he was no longer a 42. But he skipped 40 and went to 38. So we must return them all. But the best present of all was his Bob Ross class.

OMG he had the reaction of a little boy. He kept saying, "For Real?"  

He had a ton of questions most importantly to him was WHEN?

I told him he had to wait a couple of weeks. So yes, he was a poodle on linoleum just as I thought he'd be.  He will be antsy until we get to go.

Every year I make him his favorite dessert for his birthday. It is normally a beer cake. It is a really good cake and easy to make. But this year when I asked he said he wanted Ooey Gooey Chocolate Cake (bars) Really? 

He said that was what he was hankering for.  Okay then.

He overdosed on them Sunday and then proclaimed, don't send those shorts back I may fit into them after all these bars. We did exactly what he wanted. He worked in the workshop finishing up a new bowl. He poured himself some rum and more rum and we watched a great movie on Prime, called American Fiction. I would give it a big thumbs up. I highly recommend it.  

Saturday afternoon I planted some fragrant plants on my back deck area.

By fragrant I mean the likes of lavender, mint, lemongrass and the like.

They are in a window box on the railing of our patio.  They say these plants will keep away the mosquitos.

If you don't want mosquitos to bother you, sit by me. Because you will then see the swarm all around me. Everyone swears these plants work. We shall see. Aside from the window box I have some all around the patio. 

Rick likes the smell of them too. We were sitting out there and it was a bit breezy and we caught a whiff. It was nice. I can't believe those damn mosquitos don't like that. But I sincerely hope they really hate it.

Oh and Saturday we had pedicures and drank wine. I got him to go with me. He had these women in stitches. 'The Rick Show'

Of course they couldn't believe he was going to be 69. They thought he was in his 50's. As we were leaving I had to be a ball buster and say, Rick they said all that because you tip them. How much would you have tipped if they told you you looked 79?

He laughed and told me to let him have his dreams it was his birthday.

😀

Am I missing?

I received an email in the middle of the night from a blogger who couldn't find my blog.  I thought I had fixed it.  I'm so confused.

Then I see where some people comment and it does not publish I must hit the check mark and publish it manually. That's new.

I hate blogger.
Is anyone else not finding me on their reading list?

Today is Friday. It is hot and rain should arrive this afternoon. Rick and I want to accomplish getting the plants & flowers we purchased yesterday in our planter boxes before the rain. 

Tomorrow we get pedicures. I can bribe Rick to go with me once a year. He always LOVES it, the massage, the wine etc. But I have to drag him except this time. I suggested he go with me and he jumped at the idea.  Who is this new man? 

We were standing at the nursery and Rick asked an employee, "Is that a Peacock I hear?"   She tells him it is indeed. 

Now, first of all, I don't even know what a peacock sounds like. And no I  could not hear anything. Even the employee said, "I don't hear it right now but yes there is a peacock here." 

I've told you since the stroke his hearing and smell are off the charts. He is like a canine. Me, not hearing a lot of late, I wonder is it me? Or is it him?

It's so damn weird. 

I bought strawberries at a fruit stand. A person in front of me suddenly slammed on her brakes so of course, so did I.  My strawberries were in a plastic bucket on the floor on the passenger side of the car. They went sliding across the floor when I hit the brakes so quickly. When I got home I picked them all up and put them back in the bucket they were in. It was just a couple of strawberries that had to be washed anyway. So I didn't think it was a big deal.

Ah, but apparently I missed a few.

The following morning Rick got into the car and it REALLY smelled like strawberries so he began to look for them. 2 were under the passenger seat and one went into the door's side pocket. How it got there I will never know since it would have had to jump up there. 

Now that was 2 weeks ago, Rick still smells strawberries. As we got in the car yesterday he said, "I kind of like the smell of the strawberries in here, it's like one of those car air fresheners."

I didn't smell a thing.

At first, I thought Oh my goodness I have the beginning of Alzheimers. I know that you lose your sense of smell. But then I ask others if they can smell these things and no one ever can.  Whew. I felt better. Or we're all getting Alzheimer's except Rick.

I know I don't hear well anymore but no one can hear the shit he hears.

Or smell the things he smells. 

There was a baby at the nursery with its mother and he could smell the dirty diapers from a good distance away. He said to me, "She can't smell his poop?"  I said I was sure she could but she'd deal with it later. He asked me if I could smell it. I said she is 4 aisles away, no I can't.  I did unfortunately smell the baby later when she was closer to me. But I certainly did not 4 aisles away. 

If he was going to get a superpower after his stroke I'd have preferred it be something of good use. Like large winning lottery numbers or being able to see into the future or talk to dead people. Something like that.

Well, I'm off to get a couple of things for his birthday cake. I asked him what he wanted and of course, I don't have 2 of the things needed. 

Bucket List

I have shared here in my blogger land that my husband just loves Bob Ross.

While he was recuperating I took him to a Bob Ross exhibit.  Thankfully there were chairs and benches so he could sit when it got to be too much walking for him. 

The other day he said that The Joy of Painting was back on PBS. 

He asked, "Is Bob back from the dead?"  I laughed but we checked it out. The man who took over was very good. 

Then the next day he was on the Today Show. 

The crew tried their hand at this as we are now going to attempt as well.

Please check this video out.

 

Rick has said forever that he would love to try his hand at this. This is a bucket list item for him. It's all so silly to me but it's his thing. So when I found a Certified Bob Ross Instructor like this man on the new Joy of Painting show I had to see if this was affordable for Rick.

The class was $40 which includes frames and other things, as it states.

It's an additional $20 if you don't have your own supplies such as paint and brushes. 

We have to bring a 12 x 16 canvas and paper towels. 

I booked the class for us both. I know I can't do this, hell, I can't draw stick people. But if I didn't go I'd have to sit in the car from 10:30 - 3:30p in a town about an hour south of here that scares the crap out of me. 

If Rick knew he'd tell me I'd have to come inside. So I decided to steal some of his birthday gifts.

He is going to be like a poodle on linoleum. 

His birthday is this Sunday. The class isn't until the 8th of June. 

This is one of his gifts. I think he'll like it.

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

Today is a glorious day!

We have so few rainy days. This is the 2nd one in 2 weeks. 

I know everyone else is in a tizzy but I am loving it. 

It's a real downpour, overcast and cool. (70degrees) 

Opened the windows and got fresh air. Glorious!

It's been a good week (Sun-Tues) except trying to figure out why I couldn't see everyone's new posts and why no one could see mine.  

If you wish to tear out your hair, work on Blogger! 

At one point I screamed. Rick, I thought, was in the workshop. 

But he had just come into the house when he heard me scream. 

He ran down the hall and in a panic yelled, "Margaret." 

I yelled, "I am fine "  

He came in to see why I was screaming. 

"Oh @#$! blogger is driving me crazy. I have tried so many things for 3 days and nothing is working. I think if it takes a lot more time I will just quit blogging!" 

He asked me not to scream again and he left. Totally unfazed by my being frazzled and looking at my screen with my eyes bulging out of my head.

No blood shed so off to his workshop he goes.

I thought I had it figured out Sunday night, but I was still unsure. 

I wrote a test post and I had more people comment and read that than my last few blog posts. So I assumed I had fixed it and you all said you could see me. Whew, that is over! (for now)

I had a mammogram yesterday. I will never do one again in the afternoon. 

I normally did them in the a.m. due to work. But I'm retired now. So when she told me they had a 3pm appointment I took it.  My mindset was sure, I don't have to be at work so I can go anytime.  

But here is what I forgot. No deodorant or powder underarms, under boobs, or anywhere near your boobs. So not only did I shower in the morning, but I took another one at 1pm because I needed deodorant and couldn't go stinky. 

It took me longer to drive there than the whole procedure takes. 

It took me 10 minutes to get there. My appointment was at 3pm. I was home by 3:34. Crazy right? 

As I was taking off my top and putting on that beautiful paper top I saw they had deodorant on the shelf in the dressing room. 

Ooh, they understand the issue. 

The technician/woman who grabs your boobs and flops them on the plate to flatten them like a pancake was a hoot. She made me laugh and then told me to be still. Then stop being funny I told her.  Then as she is manipulating my boobs I wondered if any men technicians do this. 

I asked her. She said, "Would you be comfortable with that?"

Oh hell no I told her.  She said that is why only women do this. 

But it was over before you could even believe you were done.  

I recall how embarrassed I would be when I first had a mammogram. 

Now it doesn't even bother me how they just grab your boob and flop it on that plate and then move it around as if it isn't attached to me. 

It's so friggin' weird but it is what it is and it is far better than a gynecological appointment!  So that's done for another year.

My mom died of breast cancer at the ripe old age of 43. 

It always made me worried I'd get this. Her sister had it too.

So when I found a lump at age 30 I wanted a mammogram. No one would give it to me. Everyone just told me I was too young. How stupid is that?

So I went to another doctor. Nope. Finally, I got a hospital to do it. My insurance wouldn't cover it so I paid out of pocket. I was that scared. Let me tell you that wasn't cheap even if it was in 1986.

Thankfully that small lump was nothing to worry about. Whew.

Rick asked if he was allowed in to see this. He is fascinated with my stories. He can't fathom how this boob becomes so flat. Oh trust me it does.  

Nope, they won't let you in you goofball. But he kept saying he wasn't asking to watch another woman's mammogram, but my wife's. 

So for shits and giggles, I told this technician how he wanted to see this.

She laughed and said she's heard this several times but NO, they are not allowed. I then shared with her how he watched his melanoma surgery and just loves this shit. She then said, "Then he'd be bored with this."  

I laughed and said, "It's still boobs, he is never bored with boobs" 

She just laughed and made more jokes.  

This technician was so funny, warm, and personable it made this whole experience so nice. They need more like her in the medical field.

Testing

 I am not showing up in your reading lists that you manage on your blog.

I am not seeing everyone either.

I did what I was told to do to fix this from blogger.

If you get this in your reading list or manage reading list please let me know.

I've been tearing out my hair.

Thx.

Work Day vs Retirement

My days working never seemed to go as quickly as they do in retirement. 

What is with that?   Yesterday flew by. 

We had terrible storms last evening. Rain, winds, power outages, and internet outages. Oh fun. Out of wine and gin too. What's a gal to do? 

The storms will continue later today. Since it stopped raining, we ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things and stopped at the liquor store because we had our priorities. 

The storms will begin again around 4ish but I have a baseball game on at 5p today. I am hoping for a nice afternoon of retirement, gin, and baseball. Now watch how fast that goes.  

I found a post I wrote a very long time ago. It was after I left the corporate world and began working with Rick at the company he started. Now that I am retired it doesn't matter. When asked, What do I do?  I just say I'm retired. No more questions asked.

Because my well is dry I am reposting this blog entry here -  

MONDAY, AUGUST 9, 2010

What Do You Do?

In our society, you are what you do.
Whether right or wrong, that is what it is.

When at a party how many times when introduced to new people do they ask you, "What do you do?"
I no longer have an easy answer for that and for the life of me, I don’t get why it bothers me so much.

Even when I did have a so-called title no one ever understood what the hell I did so I would then have to explain. At times that was frustrating to me as well...and I'm sure boring to them.  No one really gives a rat's ass but it's a nice thing to ask and chat about quickly.  Sometimes I would just make shit up. Easier for party banter because I would never see them again. Or else I would dumb my job down and just say I was in sales.
No one ever asks you deep questions but at least I had something to say compared to my answer today.

Now here I am 5 years after leaving corporate America and I still struggle with that answer.
This weekend I met some new people.
It doesn’t help that where I live everyone has a job that is interesting to me or they can’t tell me or they’d have to kill me. Those last ones make me really want to know what the hell they do!

But I no longer have a title.
I no longer can quantify what the hell it is I do, yet I have very little spare time.

• I walk my dog Izzy 3 miles a day but I’m not a dog walker.

• I am in charge of all advertising media. I have webinars and I work on the next year's budget and work on my plan to increase business. But I am not in advertising.

• I research all software to enhance our business model. I interview software companies on their products, negotiate prices and models, and implement them. But I am not an account manager.

• I work with contractors, designers, and remodeling companies to share with them our new products for their customers. I call, I meet, I present. But I am not a sales executive.

• I hold a customer's hand through the 1st phone call through the process. I build relationships with them as well as provide them with great service. I am there to answer all questions on price, give creative design ideas, educate on product and process and I deal with and fix anything that may arise to make their experience great. But I am not in customer service.

• I run all aspects of a small business except the actual job in the field but I am not the business owner per se.

• I bitch, I moan & I tell stories of my life on a blog in my blogger world but I’m not a writer.

• I clean, organize, do laundry, and maintain a home but I am not a housekeeper.

• I manage all the money for a home and a business but I am not an accountant.

• I paint, remodel, design, and decorate for 2 homes but I am not a designer.

• I entertain all the time for people I like and some who I don’t but I am not Martha Stewart.

• I mother a lot of people but I am not a mom.
So what am I?

When I lost my job Rick begged me to come work for him because he found as he was growing his business he didn’t have time to do the job and run the company.
He wanted someone he could trust so here I am.
This was his idea, his venture.
So even though we are partners in life and in this venture I never feel like it’s my business you know?
He thinks I’m crazy because to him I’m his business partner.
To me, it’s more like this is my husband's business first and then I came here to do what I do. Maybe because this wasn’t my dream.

Oh please don’t misunderstand I don’t hate it but it wasn’t my idea to start this business. This is not something I thought I would love to do with my life.
I don't mind it, I know I'm good at it but fulfilled?  Not so much.
This is not mine. Does that make sense?

So there it is.
I must be having a mid-life crisis & I’m past middle age….unless I’m living until I’m 100+ that is.

It’s interesting that when I say I work with my husband people just say, “Oh” and normally turn away. It’s a conversation stopper for sure.

I have said I work for my husband but Rick hates that.
Besides that would imply he pays me. Au contraire.
I am sexually harassed but I don’t get a formal paycheck.
And who better to sexually harass me than a former VP of Human Resources right?
HR man knows sexual harassment!!

So what do I do?
Who am I?
Why does it even matter?

I realize I really, really don’t want to go back to corporate America.
I’m too old for the games and politics now.
So why do I give a shit what people think I do?
Why do I feel I need to have a name for it?
To tie it in a nice bow? Maybe.

This morning while walking the dog I met this woman who was a stay-at-home mom.
She said she had seen me walking the dog during the day did I have children?
Honestly, I thought it was cute that she thought I was a stay-at-home mom.
More like a stay-at-home grandma.
When I said I worked virtual (like 45% of DC does) she asked what I did and there it was again.
I was stumped.

What do you do?

Horses

I asked Rick to pick up my Rx at Walgreens.

He came home with this bottle and set it on the kitchen island.

Because you all know that's where shampoo goes. 

After reading the label, I yelled to him, "Oh Rick, did you buy me a pony?"

He tells me, "I used to use this on my dog in the 70s. 

It made his coat soft and shiny."

Rick, you do know you are a human, not a horse.

"Yeah, but I'm hung like one."

OH BROTHER!

A few days later he asks me to feel his hair.

"See how soft it is?"

Then he stomps his foot and whinnys like a horse.

So when ya'll ask me how he's doing I'd say, "He's baaack"

Hmm...more like a horse's ass.

I Need A Roomba

Update you didn't ask for.

My Damn Back.

As you all know I had my spinal injection at L1 2 weeks ago.

They are now making me wait 4-5 weeks to see where this lands.

I spoke to the Doctor/Neurosurgeon on Wednesday.

He was happy to hear it made my life better by almost 50%.

However, he still wanted me to wait another 2 weeks or so and then we can do another injection if necessary. Only 2 injections per sight.

He is doing everything to try to avoid surgery and I get that. But I want this over sooner than later. I know surgery on L1 is far more difficult than L4/L5 as I had done years before. He told me this several times. 

I read this as well. Even the doctor who did the injection told me. 

I hear them but I am not a patient patient.

I asked if there was anything I could possibly do at the gym. Perhaps even chair exercises. He was not thrilled with any of that. I mean, look, I can't stand for a long time without a lot of pain. I can't walk a great deal for the same reason. So the treadmill is out obviously. But I know the Y has old lady classes that I used to laugh at now I may use, chair exercising. 'But the Doctor said and I quote, "It's a risk. If you insist, be careful"

Well, that is enough to stop me. I don't need to be in a wheelchair so I guess no Y for me. 

I thanked him for his time and we decided we'd talk in 2 weeks.

Damn it!

I thought it would be helpful to get this awful prednisone weight off me to go to the gym. Dieting in your 60s isn't enough. So I guess I just keep plugging away. 

Then I have Rick. Oh my God Rick won't let me lift a thing. 

Rick even vacuumed the other day and he hates to vacuum. 

Yes, I was told that vacuuming was bad, but I knew that already because of the pain and my first back surgery in 1984. 

I hate the way Rick vacuums. He does it, but it's like he is José Felciano or Stevie Wonder. 

We have all wood floors and I swear he can't see a thing that has fallen on them. The other night he was eating Frito's.  He was sitting on the sofa and in the morning I saw all the crumbs on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table where he was sitting. I laughed and went to get the small handheld vacuum. He came running down the hall when he heard the vacuum sound. I held it up and said I am using this. 

He reminds me he just vacuumed. 

I laughed and told him to come to where I was standing.  

I pointed down. He said, "What?"  

Seriously?

I said, "Maybe you have to be short. Come down to my eye level"  

He did which surprised me I might add. Then he burst out laughing. 

The light apparently was different or something because he saw it all.  

He said, "Gee did I get any of those Frito's in my mouth?"  

Apparently not mister!

Then Wednesday I was outside on our deck moving the chairs and about to move the table. (I pull and drag, not lift.)  He was in the garage. 

He came onto the deck because he heard furniture moving. 

He yelled at me like I was his kid. 

I said, "Okay Dad.  Then you can help me with this later"  

He did. 

So not only do I have pain restrictions now I have life restrictions.

How does one go through life not lifting anything? 

How does one go through life not vacuuming, making a bed, etc?  

Remember when Rick made the proclamation he was no longer bending after he retired?

I thought it was so damn funny at the time. 

But that's what I am living right now, and it's not so funny.

Smart Ass Rick told me to just dust, not use the vacuum.  Fine.

I did the laundry and he lifted the basket. 

I guess we are a team in all ways now. I do not like it. 

He said last evening, "This bothers you because you need control. 

It also bothers you because you like things done your way and in your time."

"And your point?"

"Well, I am just reminding you of the facts." 

He is wearing a shit-eatin' grin.

I hate a smart ass. A Smart Ass who's correct is even more annoying.

Some Memes

I need to get rid of some of my memes.

So here ya go. The last one is my favorite!!

This below spoke to me. When I met Rick this was the crap in his shower. Or he'd use soap to wash his hair! Egads!

Just my parent? Both ways!

Of course there is a story behind this one. :-)

Ugly Naked Guy

OMG, U.N.G does have clothes!

Oh, he wasn't wearing them. 

We were on our patio and we could see his backyard and his truck in the driveway.

He walked out of his back door holding a pile of clothes and put them in his truck. No suitcase, not even a hefty bag. Just a pile of what looked like laundry. 

He made two trips to his truck with a pile of clothes.

We assume he was leaving for the shore. He has a place there and spends his summers there. It is now summer here. 

So now we know he has clothes, he just chooses not to wear any. 

Lucky for us and his other neighbors.🥺

So he never wears clothes in winter, wonder what he wears at the shore in summer? 

I take that back, I do not wish to know the answer!

Last evening Rick reminded me that the 5th of Mayonnaise was coming up.

(click the link if you haven't read this before)

"God, why must you always remember this Richard?"

"Because it is damn funny Margaret."

"I know but how friggin' dumb."

"It's endearingly dumb."

"Only to you!"

"Well, who else matters?"

Then he asked if I remembered the time we went to Burger King in Seattle that same weekend we were visiting (before living there)

We both had a very difficult time with jet lag. (Going west kills us and coming back east doesn't for some reason)

We were tired but hungry. We pulled into a Burger King and as Rick pulled into a spot I pointed to the sign that said no parking here. So we backed out of the spot and went to another. A sign there said, no parking. We went around the building and a sign said, "No parking"

Rick said, "Are we being filmed, is this candid camera?" (before Punk'd) 

Well, now we have the giggles something terrible. What the hell? 

Why can't you park anywhere here in your lot? 

We were so tired and we both had that laughter you only get when you are loopy. We ended up going inside anyway and asked them as we ordered. 

They acted like we were crazy. 

Rick said, "But you have signs everywhere not to park there"

The kid says, "No one pays attention to them."

Okay then. But for some reason, we found it funny as we drove around the Burger King parking lot.

Later that day after sightseeing up north we got back to our hotel.

There was yellow crime tape around the entrances to the hotel. What the hell?

We began to laugh again. We can park now, but we can't enter.

We sat in our car and called the office which was blocked off.

Apparently, there was a meth lab on one of the floors so we were not allowed to enter until the police and men in hazmat suits were done doing their jobs.

We were so tired and wanted a nap before dinner so we slept in our cars.

As we were told, the office called to let us know we could get to our room.

They did give us a free night for our inconvenience which we were happy about.

But that visit to Seattle was one of the funniest few days of our life. We were constantly tired and we were finding everything there so damn funny. Like how they never got wet when it was raining? 

That took 2 years of living there to get that one!