Yesterday's Oops

I did not mean to post 2 posts yesterday.

So there will be none today other than this snippet

You know how you can get pregnancy brain? I have pandemic brain.

Yes, it is real. Well, that's my story anyway and you know I'm stickin' to it!

You certainly can read yesterday's two posts,  Life These Days and Flashback for my crazy life.

Flashback

I wrote this June 30 2011.
I'm out of shit. I'm grumpy. I'm tired.
I'm stressed and I am fat now.
So I am going into the archives  -
You may or may not have seen this before.
Did she do this on purpose?

_____________________________

THURSDAY, JUNE 30, 2011

Rick Requested Post.

I shared with Rick last evening that I wrote about some of the experiences he has had now that he goes to people's homes. He asked me if I told you about the naked woman who knew he was coming to her home. I told him I had not.  He said I really should because he would like your opinions because he thinks....well I'll just tell you and see what you think.

Rick finished his first job about an hour earlier than expected.
He called his 2nd appointment. We had done another of her bathrooms a few months prior so this was someone we all were familiar with and her home.
He called her at 10:00a.m. to tell her that he was running very early and he would be at her home at 10:30a.m. Would that be okay with her?
She said, "That is great. If I am not in the house I'll be out back with the dogs. You can just let yourself in and you know where to go."

So Rick arrived exactly at 10:30a.m.  He rang the doorbell twice. He then knocked on the door. He opened the door slowly and yelled inside - twice. Okay, he figured she was out back with the dogs as she told him she would be.  He went upstairs to the bathroom as she was standing outside her shower and she was bending over naked petting her dog. She and Rick locked eyes and she didn't move. She just said, "I wasn't expecting you at this time" and then oh so slowly reached for a towel. All the while standing there butt naked and never put a hand to cover herself at all.
HUH???

Now he runs. He is talking to her from out in the hall at a semi-closed door. He yelled he would go downstairs and she kept saying it's okay. She came out in a towel. Rick said, "I'll be downstairs" He ran down the stairs. She came down a few minutes later dressed and laughing. She said, "you can go up there now"  He didn't mention another thing.

Of course, as he does he calls me whispering, "Who the hell does this? I told her 10:30a, who takes a shower then at 10:30?"  He finished the job and ran out of there.

Later that evening I asked if he "saw" anything.

 Rick laughed and said, "Hell Yeah!  She is at the least a 60 something-year-old woman who is in great shape and she had a Brazilian."  

Okay, mister, I think you saw it all then. 

Again he says, "But Margaret who does this?  

I have replayed this over and over in my mind. (oh I bet you have buddy!) and I really think she did this on purpose because she knew I was coming at that time.  

At first, I was worried that she would be screaming at me or worse but she acted like it was alright with her. So honestly I didn't see a downside to this one. Well except being sued for sexual harassment" as he laughs.  Hey, at least it's not a guy this time so this was certainly an improvement. But it still could get me in all kinds of trouble and that is what scares me. That's why I ran so quickly. But I really think she did this on purpose. And once again it's not a young woman it's either a guy or now an old lady"

Now I find it hard to believe but if that is what he needs for his fantasy so be it.  I do not think she did this on purpose but I do have a slight doubt. I mean he called her at 10:00 and said he'd be there at 10:30. She had to take a shower at 10:30a?  But I find it so hard to believe that someone would do that.

But here is the clincher. She called me. She told me this story and I acted like I hadn't heard it before. (remember I am not married to Rick at work, just the gal in the office) She said, "Oh poor Rick he ran out of here like his ass was on fire. I hope he wasn't upset. He didn't say much before he left. I am so sorry." 

I asked why she was telling me this. She laughed and said, "well I knew he was upset and I didn't want to upset him so let him know."  I told her I would. Okay, now I am way more suspicious.

So Rick wants to know what my blogger buddies think?
Did Ms. Fairfax do this on purpose or did she just lose track of time?
Did she move ever so slowly because she is older and can't move fast?
What are your thoughts?

LIfe These Days

Here is what I have learned in my 11 weeks of quarantine.
I always knew these things but now I am most certain.

• My husband is blind as a bat unless it is boobs.  He can open the pantry and unless the item he is looking for is on the shelf at HIS eye level and right smack in front he will never ever see it even if he stands there holding the door for a week. 
• My husband can't move anything in the fridge, pantry, or a cabinet. Apparently, he thinks once they are in place they are never to be moved. Oh those CUPS, BEHIND the bowls. (no other cups in the cabinet for 20 yrs but those making him possibly have to move the bowl a teeny tiny smidge to the left to grab the cups because his hands are larger than mine. But to him this is a major big deal, say it ain't so I have to slide the bowls 1/16th of an inch. The Big strong man may pull a muscle.
• Imagine his excitement and anger when I got up and reached for what he wanted and couldn't find. Then I ate it and said, "Hey you couldn't see it!   (I ended up sharing with the blind old coot)
• My husband is also blind to dust, dirt, and leaves he and Izzy bring into the house. A legally blind person could follow his trail, but he doesn't see it.
• If there is a game show to find something in our home, he has already lost!  Scavenger Hunt at our house - Find the can opener. Oops, Rick lost.
• He wears his clothes far too long so when he leaves the room I put them in the laundry!
• I really hate entitled whiners.  "Oh, it's so awful I had to sit by the pool all damn day and watch my kids. I'm getting a good tan though" (yes it must be horrendous)
• RICK DOES NOT LISTEN. 
• Rick is deaf to humans, all humans. He can hear a mouse 5 blocks away run to the wetlands area but he hears nothing within 5 ft to 1 inch in front of him. And he is completely deaf if I am speaking to him.

• I no longer like people.
• I have been accused of being "perky" - it died during quarantine.
• I am built for quarantine, just not the shitty people on the outside one must deal with. You know the ones, Covididiots.
• I prefer toiling in the dirt with flowers than anything else right now in my life.
• I will never ever throw a shower for anyone ever again!!!! This niece is killing me.
• During all of this, we find that we are both most stressed by people and Mango Mussolini. This is what is ruining our mental state. 

I proclaimed yesterday that I was retired. Rick would either find his shit or he wouldn't. I am no longer going to be his GPS tracking device. I recalled a quote from the TV Show Roseanne where she tells her husband that her uterus is not a tracking device. This is how I feel of late. Of course, Rick laughs. 

Then last evening he went to the pantry. He stood there with the door open for a long time. Normally I will say, can I help you find something? But I did not. 

I watched him just stand there like a big ole dufus. I think he was under the impression that the junk food he was looking for was going to fly out from behind the peanut butter and slap him in the face. He just stared into the abyss.  Nothing flew out so he didn't eat anything. One way of dieting right? What he was looking for was in the same place it's been for 20 years. But if he is that mentally challenged then he doesn't need to eat it that badly. Nothing had to be moved, it wasn't behind anything. It was just in the potato chip/junk space. (not a fan of chips and his junk food so it's all his and yet he can't remember where he got it the last hundred times.) Should I get an Alzheimer's test for this guy?

Now the pantry is very organized. All baking items in one area. Pasta, rice, quinoa, etc all in one place. Cans all by size and groups. Rick's junk food in one corner. It would make Marie Kondo thrilled. But apparently, that is very difficult for the male species. 

Organizations? I won't join! I refuse!  is Rick's apparent battle cry.  

If it doesn't jump into his hands he will not eat it!

This week he asked where his summer socks were? Summer socks? 
Do you mean the kind you wear that don't show in your shoe or the lighter weight ones you wear for work? The latter. 
I asked if he looked in his sock drawer.

No.

WTF? 

Do you put your socks somewhere else I don't know about Rick?

No. 

Then why would you even ask such a dumb question? (I left out dumb so he didn't get mad but I am seriously concerned that I am married to a mentally challenged person these days)  

I told him if they aren't in your drawer where they are folded and put away after I do laundry then I have no idea. 

Do we need to discuss where you are taking your clothes off mister? 

Again he laughs, and I am slowly coming to a boil.  

Did I go fetch him his said socks? Hell no.

All the nursery's around here are empty. I really wanted petunias for this one box on our patio. None to be found. So Rick and Izzy go to a nursey but it wasn't to be the same one that we just went to. No, he said he was going to another one not far away. But yet he did go to the same one. 

We were just at that one and they had nothing left. What makes him think it would be different today?  Can you hear me screaming?

He sends photos. You want this? 

No thank you, just petunias of any color. 

Another pic, how about these? 

No thank you I say, "Petunias or bust baby!"

He sends me a photo of a grass that gets 1 - 5ft tall. Oh brother! 

I write back - is this what you think you are matching for the box with the purple and yellow flowers? Because they are called Spyke.  Those are not the same and I'd like the same thing in the back.

Then he says, no they aren't a grass. 

So I imagine he got them and what I'll do with them is anyone guess. 

I will probably return them back on a day he goes to work (is it Friday yet?)

I could tell him to shove them where the sun don't shine but I don't want a fight on my hands.

I give up!  

Then he sends me a photo of these red pointy things and asked if I wanted those. 

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I'VE TOLD YOU PETUNIAS IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY YOU DUMB SHIT. 

I did not say the above but thought it. 

I wrote back "hey, buy whatever you think would look nice." 

I was not about to fight over this.  I was livid that he was so damn dumb.

But the next time he asks me to pick up these lures for him when I'm at Bed Bath and Beyond (the fishing store is next door) I am going to try this annoying habit with him?

I know his lures. I know which one is which unfortunately but I'm going to pretend I've had a lobotomy and behave like him when he asks me to pick them up for him. 

Do you like these? Oh, those are for fly fishing. (yes, I know the difference)

OH, you said spinner baits. 

Then do you want these? 

Oops, those are spoons you say,....tee hee well my pretty little head is all confused and cluttered with lures. So many with feathers that are pretty colors. 

Do you want this type? Oh too big? I see those are for big fish like salmon, not bass or strippers. 

He will tell me again which one to get and I will just keep doing this insanity to him until he blows. Then I will feel better. 😁

And yes right now it's all about me.

Memorial Day 2020

Enjoy your holiday.

More this and that.

Rick is a different man with no traffic.
Even when he works he comes home the same man that left.
That is not always the case. Most days he walks in as grumpy Gus, muttering and bitching. I let him do his "thang" Then he changes his clothes, takes Izzy to swim, and while there he decompresses (THANK GOD), and by the time he is home for good he is better.

Last night we had a glorious evening on the patio. It was nice, a bit cool, just like I like. Sweatshirt weather. Rick said he has noticed that his shoulders aren't up at his ears after being in traffic all day. He said he is relaxed that a 45-minute drive no longer takes 2+hrs. Today he had a 10-minute drive for his first estimate. Normally that location would be 1 hr. We were chatting when he said if only traffic could stay like this he would be so happy.  I know, so would I!! 
But I refrained from saying that out loud. 😁

We had fraud on our debit card from work.
I got an email and a text from Amazon saying my card wouldn't go through.
We have something we use that gets an automatic monthly shipment. 
Amazon automatically uses the card on file.
They sent an email that stated my card would not go through and to contact them.
Oh my God!  Where did all our money go?   In a panic with my heart pounding I went to my bank account online. Whew. I saw nothing changed since yesterday's deposits. More than enough money is in there. Why was my card rejected? Followed by my next thought of, "thank God they didn't get all our money"  (I've had that happen and it makes you physically ill trust me)

While checking on this the office phone rang and I answered it.  My email was opened in front of me as I listened to a customer. I saw an email from my bank that said my card was stopped please call them ASAP.  
Oh no, what's going on here?
I got this person off the phone as soon as I could and called the bank.
Apparently someone in the Netherlands used our card to try to buy video gaming equipment and games. My bank thought that was neither a normal thing we buy and the fact that it was in the Netherlands they just shut the card down. They first asked if this was us. NO! 
Since it was after hours for me they told us they just closed out the card. They will send me a new card now that we are certain this is fraud.

Yesterday I spent most of my day going through all the places that they use this for auto deductions. All of a sudden I got a Sirius radio email telling me to call them my card was rejected. Oh I forgot about Sirius.  Then another from our dental insurance. I have so many things automatically deducted so that was a fun day. I know I probably forgot one. They will email or call and make me feel like dirt. I know I did nothing wrong but it makes you feel terrible when they tell you your card was rejected. Sure lady you had fraud, you don't have the money. 
At least that is how they make me feel. 

Today because it's slow I will be working on my niece's showers invitations.
I don't even know where we'll be on July 11-12th but I have to move forward as though it's moving forward. We will see. I feel bad for her. She and her fiance are paying for their wedding and both have lost their jobs and have not had an unemployment payment to them since being in quarantine. 
Crazy if they can pull this off. 

I told her I'd give her the monies for the shower and she can run away and get married like I did. She laughed. These girls dream of these weddings that are such a waste of money. I'd use that money for a better apartment or a downpayment on a house/condo or something. To me money on an elaborate wedding is a waste.  The money they spend on the dress is a waste. Over a thousand dollars for a dress you will wear once, have professionally cleaned and that will cost a nice chunk of change and it will lay in the box given to you when it was cleaned and never to be looked at again until you have a daughter who will never ever wish to wear it because it is dated. So to me a waste of money! But a couple down the road would say, counseling? oh that's expensive and we can't afford it. Because you just spent 20K on a wedding? That is more important to you than the relationship? For most it is sadly.

It's not like I am this way now because I am older I have always been this way.
The first wedding I did it all for my parents. How they wanted it, where they wanted it, everything was about them. I went along with it all. 
I didn't want any of this.
Wanna good chuckle? Here I am at my first wedding in Sept 1979. 
Check out that ridiculous 1979 hat.  His aviator glasses that turned into sunglasses. This is a poster for the 70s. The whole picture is a hoot. 
I figured I could post this since he has passed on and can't be mad at me for posting this online. I'm alive and I'm still showing you how I used to pluck my eyebrows into submission. My hair was in what was called a Gibson girl. It was a bun on top of my head with tendrils on the sides. 
All very loose. So very 1970's for those too young to have lived it.

The 2nd time we got married in Montego Bay Jamaica. We were in a flower-filled gazebo overlooking the water. It was a beautiful ceremony that made the best man and maid of honor cry. I have photos of this but none on my computer so you could see the difference, not only in me but no gown, hat/veil, or the like.
Our scanner died so I can't scan them to post here so you could laugh some more. I wore a street length dress that was white and gold and no stupid hat and Rick wore a linen suit. It was casual yet dressy. 
(unlike the woman who got married in a deer skin thong on the beach earlier in the day)

We had a typical Jamaican wedding cake that was a deliciously moist spice cake.  Our small reception was just as perfect as we hoped for. 
We got a wedding package and there was a professional videographer. My wedding cost just shy of $500.
We watched the video a couple years ago on our anniversary. God we were young is what we kept saying. Since we married at the resort we were already on our honeymoon. I highly recommend it. When we got home my parents had a small thing at their house so my cousins and some other family could come over to celebrate. They watched the wedding video. My father refused to watch the video, he kept saying I wasn't really married because it wasn't in the Catholic church. So you can see when I was 22/23 and my parents still had some control of me I had to do it his way. Now I was 37 and I was doing it my way. I was sorry this hurt him but it was my life. OH I explained it all to him in the most respectful way I could before we did this. I tried to talk to him but to him I was still living in sin because heaven forbid I was married by a Methodist minister outside and not in a Catholic church by a pedophile.
I wasn't going to let my father spoil my happiness as I watched him leave the room until it was over. He was such a stubborn old coot. He got over it, never in words expressed, but the fact that he came around to me being married and no more snide remarks. That is how I could tell he was over it. I ignored his remarks each and every time. I was not going to feed into that. I knew he'd eventually get over it. I was his firstborn, his favorite and I was letting him down. I understood that to a point.
But if I were to be honest he had let me down many, many times while my Mom was sick and dying of cancer so we were even if ever there is such a thing. And there isn't.

Now to my duvet - I will be attempting this after work again today. I am going to try what Rae explained in the comments. I will keep you posted.
I am damned determined to do this. It is difficult each time but for some reason I am struggling more this time. I think that is a sign that it will stay dirty far longer. Renee it does have ties on the corner. They have always worked and stayed in place well...stays well if I can get it in there!

Izzy can no longer get on the bed so that will help immensely.  
If she can get help from us to get up on the bench at the end of the bed then she can get on the bed. 
But to jump up, well that isn't going to happen anymore. 
My poor dog is having a lot of arthritic pain in her hips and joints. 
She has medication but she is a very different dog these days. I know she is 11.5 and labs live 12 - 14. I want her to live as long as she is not suffering terribly. Right now she will still swim but her long walks are nearly over. Sometimes she limps a bit. No more 3 miles a day for me. She just doesn't wish to walk long and I don't blame her. Little dogs or puppies annoy her now too and she behaves like an old woman/man. 😟 
She will let them climb on her and she will play up to a point when she's had enough. The other day she had a low growl almost like under her breath but the puppy knew and jumped away. I find it kind of funny. 

Enjoy your weekend. For those no longer in lockdown stay safe out there.

Little of This and Little of That.

They tell me this is a long weekend. 
Haven't they all been for over 2 months?
I forgot it was Memorial Day and Rick has a job at an empty home he is working on Monday. I asked him if he wanted me to change it and he said I've had a lot of days off I don't need it. Besides what are we going to do? Go to the beach? Nope, I'm fine bringing in a day of some money.

When AND if this is ever truly over I hope they do a study of people during the quarantine. I would find it utterly fascinating.
Why can some deal with this and why some can't? 
The same exact situation for both and yet some go crazy nuts and some while not happy are doing okay. I find it fascinating. Kind of like my psychology class or my fascination with the brain. 

I watched the Diary of Anne Frank last night. God that is such a sad movie yet with such hope. I can't fathom being stuck in this teeny tiny attic of rooms with so many families and 1 toilet and no food. If found they die. We are whining because we can't go to the hairdresser or get a pedicure or go to the gym. We are such babies and spoiled ones at that. It honestly sickens me.

Our governor is a doctor. He has opened the southern redneck part of the state. Their numbers are low. That should keep those goobers happy for a small bit of time. Up here in my little county, last Friday's numbers were 1011 new cases and 29 new deaths to Tuesday only 143 new cases and only 10 new deaths. That sounds awful and I certainly don't mean for it to sound callous. Everyone is screaming that they must go to the gym or get their pedicures etc. I don't think they understand the difference between need and want. It's be nice if people used this time to work on their lives. If you can't get along with your spouse address it now while you have the time or get a divorce. I saw there are still thousands of counselors who are doing their appointments online. Since all ya do is talk this is a good thing.  Stop talking about it, do something. People are talking about how dirty their home is or how unorganized it is. Then do something about it. Are all Americans just fat and lazy now? Is that our new look?
Come here and be lazy, yet expect to receive everything you've ever wanted just because you deserve it!

The only thing that wears me down about quarantine is stupid reckless disrespectful people who refuse to listen to science or the doctors. 
And it's heavy on me this past couple of weeks
______________

We have had some real crazy weather. It was 89 one day last week and I was so damn hot and did not wish to turn on my air for fear of that damn bill but I did. Now it's like winter. It's 55 right now and blustery cold to me.
I think everything is upside down.
______________

Yesterday someone told Rick he had a nice haircut how did he do that? 
Rick said his wife cut it. The guy said, "well apparently she still likes you even in quarantine because she did a good job"  
Apparently being stuck in the house with one's spouse is so awful I would have made him look like a fool with a bad cut. How silly. 
Then the goofy person said to Rick, "Will she do others?"  Ah, no. 
That is not social distancing Rick told him. He replied, "I know but my hair is so overdue." 
Rick asked who he was seeing beside me and my dog. (this was at the pond where Rick and Izzy go daily) The guy told him, "well no one but it just bothers me that it looks unkempt!"  
Rick told him he had a lot of company, get in line. I don't think the man appreciated that snarky comment because he then walked away Rick said.  No, he was not wearing his "I smell stupid people" Tshirt. 
I know the older I get the harder it is to suppress my true thoughts in public yet I do. But Rick seriously annoys me that he just says whatever the hell he wants. It isn't necessary to say.  Is it because he is a big guy and no one will mess with him? I could never get away with the shit he says. For that matter most wouldn't.
_________________

Yesterday I washed my duvet cover. Now getting the down comforter back in it is a real pain in the ass. Ever try? If you have a secret I'd like to know. Please share!
Rick heard me cussing so he came to help. HA. We both struggled and then in a fit of giggles gave up. I picked it up off the bed and threw it on the floor and said, "I'll tackle this another day."   We tried doing it from inside out as the video showed us. That was hysterical. Then we tried Rick's way. That made me get on the bed and laugh. Then we tried my way, even worse. I've done it before but it's always a long time until I get it.

Then Rick stood up on his side of the bed, put his arms out and crossed them like this. He blinked and bobbed his head just like Jeannie. He stood back and said, "I got nothin'" and I began to laugh. We went back downstairs and had dinner.


I told Rick at dinner that later we could try it by me wiggling my nose like Samantha Stevens on Bewitched. I should not have said this as he took a gulp of his water. It was now all over his dinner and our table. 
😏
Hey people we need to find the laughter where we can right?
And no my duvet cover is still on the damn floor. I will tackle it again later today. I am damned determined. I go through this every time I wash that cover. Rick says to not wash it. Not the answer though but each time I do this I do consider leaving that spot on there where Izzy likes to lay.

So how do you get your duvet cover back on if you have one?
Wanna show me? Pretty Please?!

65 !

Today is Rick's 65th birthday.
Wowsa.
I remember him at 31. And they said it would never last. HA!

If I am being honest this whole number sort of freaks me out.
I can't believe we're 65. Where did the time go?

He opened his presents and laughed this morning about my wrapping.
The hallmark store in our development is closed. So I used a bag that has a fisherman on it and used Christmas tissue. Hey, it's the thought that counts.
I made him greeting cards too. Hey, it's a pandemic I did what I could.

Rick fell in love with this wicking underwear. 
Apparently, he and the fellas down there get sweaty while working. 
I bought him a pair of boxer briefs from Duluth when they were on sale. 
OMG, he loves these two pairs of underwear and wanted more. 
When he found out that each pair was $23 he about died.
($23 - $28) He kept saying $161 for a week's worth of underwear?
No, I'll wear my Hanes, he tells me. 
But I know how he loves these darn drawers. 
I wash them and the next day he is wearing them.
I signed up for email updates. They went on sale for only $17.50 I kept buying them each time they went on sale saving them for his birthday. Which I might add didn't come soon enough because he kept mentioning how he should go get more of these awesome drawers.   
C'mon, if I had that much of an issue and I needed wicking underpants I'd go to the doctor but apparently, it's different for Rick.

Needless to say, this old man was so damn thrilled with his new underwear he was giddy. "OMG so many pairs, did we win the lottery?
Oh my God thank you, thank you, thank you!" 

He got a new pair of work sneakers and a very nice pair of Kizik knit sneakers that did get him almost as thrilled as the underwear. He has wanted a pair of these for a very long time. If you are unaware the video is below.
He has wanted these and they have some styles in wide. 
Do you know how hard it is to find a size 13 wide? 
You can find them but they are ugly. So to find a company that does have wide is thrilling but all the styles he chose did not have wide or were back-ordered.  Then I found them on QVC in the wee hours of the morning. 
I then did them in a layaway type thing on QVC. 3 easy payments.  
I got them so many months ago and each time he sees the commercial he says something and I so wanted to just give them to him but waited until this morning. He is out with the dog, wearing one of his new T-shirts and his new sneakers, just like a little kid. 

Yes, he got 4 T-shirts. Summer for Rick means T-shirts. He keeps telling me he doesn't need anything new. I do his laundry. The collars are frayed, they are faded or getting little holes. Yes, you need new T-shirts. He is so funny. Won't buy himself new clothing but boy does he love getting it.   He works hard he deserves it.  He loves Tees that say things and that are usually a bit offensive.
You know his favorite has been this one and it is hanging by a thread so I got him the same shirt he loves so much. Boring to me but not to Rick.

Until today when he received this new one.


When he opened this one he said, OMG I think I have a new favorite Tee.
It immediately went on!
You see I think these things but would never put them on my chest for the world to see. I actually bought him 2 nice ones that have nothing on them that are also wicking T's. Gosh saying that makes it sound like I have a real sweat-er on my hands. Oh, that makes me giggle.

My goofy birthday boy loves being on medicare for his prescriptions he discovered on Monday.
Before he left to pick up his medications he asked if we have enough for me to pick up ALL of my Rx's today? I said yes go for it. 
Both of us forgetting this will be on his new medicare Rx plan. 
He came home and said, "Hey Happy Old Man to me, my scripts cost me $25 total. Cool huh?"
Normally this would be several hundred dollars you see. 
I said well there is one positive about being an Old Fart then I guess.

So there ya have it. Ricky is 65 and I can't believe it.
Neither can he. :-)

(here are the type of shoes, not this style but you get the reason for them)
Have a great day, I'm goofing off a bit today with the old guy!

Let 'em eat cake

I made a cake for Rick's birthday. (Tuesday)
It is his favorite cake. I would think he'd be bored by now but apparently not because that is what he wanted.
It used to be peanut butter pie each year because that is all he ever wanted.
Once I made this cake he now asks for it every year.

But here is the thing it is called Aged Beer Cake. AGED.
After you make it you wrap it up tightly and allow it to sit for 7 days.
I had all the ingredients and the time so I made it last week.
(I'm still working you know)
The longer it sits the better and the more moist ( or is it moister?)it becomes.
I don't get it but it works.

It is a heavy moist dense cake with a swirl of cinnamon sugar and walnuts.
(bundt cake)
It is beer, pudding, sour cream, oil and all kinds of good stuff to make it moist.
The longer it sits the more you get the beer flavor which you wouldn't think is good but it is. (not a beer drinker either but it will surprise you)

Back in the day when Rick had just discovered this cake, I would wrap it in saran wrap. I would sit it on the counter and I thought nothing of it.
Then one day I saw the wrap wasn't on it in the same way so I walked over.
I saw the smallest slice cut out of it. So then to be a ball-buster I said nothing to Rick. I just wrapped over the saran wrap with aluminum foil so I could hear when he gets into it. Damn if that didn't work.
We had a couple of good chuckles over this.
We were living in Seattle and I heard the foil all the way in the back of the apartment. I yelled, "I hear that"  Then I heard him laughing.
I walked into the kitchen and he said, "oh that was damn good Margaret. But c'mon you can't let it sit here and not let me have some."  Yes, I can, just wait 7 days as the recipe calls for, that is all I'm asking.  He kept telling me he couldn't do this. He did it. He survived.

So then I began to make it and hide it - you know like in the pantry where he can find nothing even if it is sitting on a shelf in front of his face. I even put them where the cleaning supplies are or where the vacuum is kept - you know all the places he would never look.  Saturday, as I was coming down the stairs at 6am, I see Rick grab the cake plate from the back counter and bring it to the island.
I asked, "having cake with your coffee?"  He jumped. BUSTED.
He laughed and said, "It's my damn cake so I can eat it whenever I like I'm not a child and it's been 7 days today so it's done! So there!"  
Oh no not said like a child at all Richard. 
"Oh, you've been counting days have you? Go for it," I told him.
He moaned and ate his cake with his coffee. Again he tells me it's the best cake ever. He says that about every baked good I make him so it is not the best cake ever. He's just trying to sweet talk me so I'll bake some more.

When I met Rick on our first date he asked me my favorite food. 
I told him Cake. Favorite food group  - baked goods. He laughed at me. 
He told me he didn't like cake. 
I was appalled and then thought, oooh, more for me.
To digress for a moment on our first date to dinner he asked at the end of the meal if I wanted to share a dessert. I said I ate light so I could have dessert and I don't share dessert, I'll share my food, not my dessert if that's okay.
He laughed a big hearty laugh. I surely did not think that was funny. 
He said, "no girl would ever admit to wanting her own creme brulee and I love that you just did"  
Yep, no sharing my sweets! 

Then when I lived with him I asked one summer if he'd like an angel food cake.
He said and I quote, "OH GOD NO those are so damn dry!"
In what world? Are you eating the ones from the store - yes those are a bit dry but a homemade angel food cake or a box is not dry if baked properly.
He said no way.

I made the angel food cake. A friend stopped by later that evening and I cut him a slice with some fresh-picked strawberries and homemade whipped cream. 
He asked for a 2nd. Then Rick says, "oh let me try a small slice"
He gets his slice and proclaims, "OH MY GOD THIS IS NOT DRY"
Our friend Michael said, "why would you think that?"
Oh, Michael don't ask.

Rick ate most of that cake needless to say. He kept saying I didn't know it could be so light and moist. Maybe my mom didn't know what she was doing. He told me his mom made it a lot and it was very dark brown unlike mine just being brown. He said if you ate a piece of his mom's cakes you spit dust. 
I doubt that but I understood why he thought all cake was dry since everyone he ever had growing up was dry. So he quit eating cake and thought he just hated cake. He quit eating cake at age 18 after he left his mom's home.

He now loves cake. 
Asks for cheesecake, beer cake, carrot cake you name it he now loves it.
I used to bake all the time then I was diagnosed w/celiac. I still bake for him just not as much as before and in all honesty, he doesn't need it any more than I do.
I recall when I made him cream puffs he asked me to marry him. We were just friends then and I said, "Never, but I'll stop by with cream puffs every now and then"  HA! I haven't made pastry cream and cream puffs in forever.
Poor Rick is punished because baking isn't the same for me anymore. 
How incredibly selfish of me I know. But it's not like my potbellied stallion is hurting for food so don't feel real bad for him. 

Here is a fun quarantine recipe that is not homemade -
In fact, when we thought we were getting company just before lockdown I bought a can of cinnamon rolls. 
You see I  saw a recipe for a mini apple pie of sorts.
I thought it'd be a fun small treat. These girls like sweets as does Rick when having a couple of cocktails. You take the cinnamon rolls out of that handy dandy roll. There are normally 6 or 8. (do not use Grands, just normal size)
Take one and press it into a sprayed cupcake tin. Up the sides and press it down firmly on the bottom.  Then take apple pie filling and fill it. Bake as directed. It puffs up around the apple filling and leaves some to show on top.
Rick ate two, gave 2 to the neighbors, and kept the rest for himself. 1 a day with his coffee. He LOVED them. How easy was that?
So there you go, like a cupcake of apple pie while in quarantine. Not at all good for you but what is during quarantine?

Now I never make a pie with canned filling but I had it for some reason, probably a recipe I never made,  and thought I may need to use this before it expires. I have no idea why I even bought it but who cares, it worked out perfectly for everyone.

You're welcome.
Tip: Don't put on your jeans. Eat while in elastic waist pants. You'll feel better.

The Price Is Right.

In the past, I have shared my husband's love of The Price Is Right.
He has been watching this show since inception I swear.

When he worked from home in his white-collar world he would take lunch during TPIR. I would laugh because I too worked from home but did not wish to eat lunch at 11am. The goofball.

When we were going to California his sisters wanted to show him the Hollywood sign, Beverly Hills etc asked if he'd like it. No, it's a sign, who cares about celebrities he told them. All he wanted was to go to TPIR. They didn't want to.
So he didn't get to go.

The other day he did not work. 
His schedule for the day was around TPIR.
I told him he was crazy.  But that evening when he went for a walk with Izzy I hit the DVR to record the show each day. We both hate watching the news and constant barrage of misinformation about Covid-19 so he will be surprised that at the time of the news he can come home and watch his Price is Right.

Last night was the 1st time. The news came on and he walked across the room to turn it off. I said, "Hey wait a minute I have recorded something for you - go look at the DVR"  He did and got all excited. He thanked me like I gave him a damn gift. Silly man. 

So while dinner was in the oven he and I watched TPIR.
At one point a very busty redhead came onto the stage. 
Rick said, "Wow, That's what you used to look like" 
"What the hell does that mean?And stop drooling"
"Well, when you were younger and they were high and pert."
"I may just delete the recordings for you now Richard."
But we both laughed because he's right at 64 it ain't like when I was 34.

At one point Drew was so staring at her boobs.
Then Drew does it again.
I asked Rick, "Did you see Drew stare at her boobs just a bit too long?
Rick says, "Ah No, I was staring at her boobs."

For the love of God, even on The Price is Right.

Bubble Wrap OFF

Rick removed the bubble wrap from me today so I'm back.
Hard to type when you are wrapped up like that. I will venture to walk Izzy today and see what damage I can do to myself. I seem to have a gift.
And here I was thinking my whole life I have no talent.
Clumsiness could be my talent. I do it better than most it seems. 😛

My leg is better and I decided I was not going to urgent care. 
(yes, chicken shit to go to these places right now)
I can put weight on it now. 
Yes, still a bit swollen, yes still feel a lump in my arch but it is way smaller.
I am doing okay.  The 2nd day was killer so I was eating Aleve and Tylenol together. It really helped. I actually slept wonderfully that night.
I told Rick that was a good prescription you gave me. 
He insisted I take both and then later in the evening he had a glass of wine and asked if I wanted one. 
Sure what the hell.
So one glass of cabernet, 2 Aleve and 2 Tylenol and I slept soundly for 7 hours.
I awoke to less swelling and far less pain.  So Doctor Rick did very well.
I must admit the pain on the 1st two days was far worse than shingles and shingles is no walk in the park. (and by the way, I still have the bumps and dr said it could take a year or maybe not, it's anyone's guess. Yipee) 

Now I have to share something that happened to my husband when he went to the bank yesterday. Our bank is located in our development inside one of the grocery stores. (The hotel finally paid us yesterday. You know a month late and only after being threatened with a contractor's lien. Then we got a check.)

Rick was walking into the store with his mask on. 
A much older woman was also entering the store with her mask on. 
The elderly woman says to the two 17-year-olds, "where are your masks girls?"  
To which the blonde snotty 17 year old responded, "I'm too pretty to get sick."   (yes, she was serious) 
My husband said, "Well stupid really attracts the virus so good luck"  
Her friend laughed. Stupid Pretty tilted her head like the RCA dog and just didn't get it. The older woman sees Rick later in the store and says, "Hey young man, (that's funny) I'd pat you on the back if I could get that close to you. What a couple of brats huh?"  

I asked Rick if she was pretty. He said, typical entitled blonde brat you see around these parts so yes. 
I asked, like drop dead "model" pretty or just a pretty 17 yr old? 
I was trying to figure out the attitude. 
He said just a pretty typical 17 yr old with that NoVa attitude. 
He said when she flipped her hair and had a flippant attitude to the older woman he wanted to smack her. She was disrespectful in attitude, in not wearing a mask for the others, and just a typical NoVa entitled brat. 
I know the type and I knew exactly what he was talking about. 

I bet her parents are proud. 
Then again her parents could be part of Mango Mussolini's cult and they think it's just all a joke. 
Yep, 712 new cases yesterday in my county, just a big joke.
I'm laughing, aren't you?