What's In Your Coffee?

Three things you need to know. 

1. Sativa is a strain of cannibis

2. Stevia is a natural sugar substitute.

3. I'm naturally a brunette, well, until it turned to gray. 

My husband has always said I have blonde moments. 

(sorry to the blondes I know you're not dumb)

Some of my blonde moments I do see the humor as well. 

Hey, I can laugh at myself. 

Like when we lived in Seattle and were riding down the coast to explore. 

The car was quiet as I was just enjoying the vista.

I saw this mountain that looked like the top was blown off and I said to Rick, "Hey look at that mountain, doesn't it looks like the top blew off" 

He laughed and said, "Oh Margaret that is Mt St. Helen, the top did blow off." 

Oops.

In my defense, I had never seen this before and didn't know where we were since we had just moved there.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. 

The other day at the doctor's she was asking me about sugar consumption. 

I said I don't eat sugar unless it's candy. I can't eat processed food so that helps.

She asked what I put in my coffee.

I told her I drink it black with Sativa.

She whipped her head around and said, "Pardon me? Sativa?" 

She looked so confused.

I paused because it did not register this type of reaction. Then I realized what I had said and I giggled.

"Nope, I use STEVIA!"

The doctor laughed and said, "Okay you scared me for a minute."

I guess she thought I was putting cannabis in my coffee. Although that could help this damn hip pain.

As Rick used to say when I was a brunette, you dye your hair brown don't you?

Funny boy thought he was clever. 

So I'm a little dingy, I keep telling him it's an endearing quality.

Hey, a gal has to believe what she needs to believe.🤣

Free Concert

Hey Baby Boomers. Remember ole Rod Stewart and Billy Joel?

Well, they are doing some shows together. 

If I went to concerts this is one I'd attend. But no more concerts for me.

I used to love Rod Stewart, oh, not that cheesy Do you think I'm sexy, but the others. I loved him in Faces and his solo career.

Now Billy is my man. I love everything this man has done. Oops, I take that back, Uptown Girl was corny to me. But I do love me some Billy Joel.

I saw him in concert in Pittsburgh in 1983. I did not pay for it so it made it even better. He would stop at times during the show to hear the score to a ballgame of his beloved Mets. (yuk) and make jokes. The Pittsburgh audience boo'd him in humor since it is a rival NL team. All in good fun.

He was young and jumped around and stood on the piano and it was wild and good music and I was a happy camper.

At this time I was living in Erie Pennsylvania but working in Latrobe PA.  

I flew to work daily. (I worked for the airline) One day I heard on the radio at work that Billy Joel was going to be playing in Pittsburgh.  Tickets went on sale at Ticketmaster on such and such a date. 

Oh my goodness I had to get tickets.

But I was poor.

I was newly divorced. I just got out of school and had that big payment so I could not afford such a luxury.  I also didn't make much money.

During this time Ticketmaster was in Sears in their credit department on the 2nd floor.

Now I did not have a Sears card to show them to buy tickets. 

I used to of course when I was married. But now divorced he got the cards yet I kept getting the damn bill for Sears. I'd send it to my ex and his new gal he lived with. One day I called her and said PLEASE take my name off this account. I have called Sears but they need to hear from you since you are the main card holder. 

Each month I would get another bill. Oh, how it pissed me off.

This went on for months. 

I'd send it to them and say I am not paying for this card and forward the bill to them. 

So as I was in the car with my boss at lunchtime in good ole Latrobe PA I heard again on the radio that the tickets for Billy Joel would be going on sale the next day. I said to my boss I so wanted to go to that concert.

She did as well and suggested we go to Ticketmaster the next day on our lunch break. Sounds like a deal to me but how would I pay for a ticket?

I had no credit cards at the time. 

We did indeed leave work the next day and we left early which was easier to do with her being my boss. 

We got there before the box office opened and were only 2nd in line.

I had the great idea to see if I could use my Sears charge card. 

To me, it was worth a try. 

I told them my name and that I didn't have my Sears card with me. 

Could I still charge my tickets I asked? The older woman at the counter made me show her my license, which still had the same name and address as the credit card. It worked. Hot damn! 

I got two tickets to see Billy Joel on my ex's dime. 

I got a girlfriend to go with me. Believe me, that was not difficult since she didn't have to pay. I drove from Erie to Pittsburgh for the show. (2 hrs)

It was one of the top 3 concerts of my lifetime. 

When the Sears credit card bill arrived at my home I had it forwarded to them once again. 'She' who I refer to as The Pig, called me. She was having a shit fit that I charged two concert tickets on what she called 'their' card.  She was screaming at me how I had no right to do this. 

I let her go off. I was silent.

Finally, I said, "I have asked you for months to take my name off the card and change the address, but you haven't. So I charged some tickets"

She hung up on me.

My ex called a few days later to tell me they removed my name and changed the address. I thanked him. 

He said nothing about the repayment of the tickets. 

Guilt works like that. 😊

Someone Peeling Onions?

 I'm not crying. sniff sniff

My Week

I hate to say this to all those in the midwest and northeast with a ton of snow and freezing temps but it's too hot here too soon.

This morning (Thursday) my hip was feeling fair so I attempted to vacuum, water the plants, do a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen floor, appliances etc.

I was in a full blown sweat. The back of my hair was wet. I have the front door and back door open. It's January 25th, that is too damn early. 

It should be going back down to the 50s next week and I can't wait.

It's rainy, humid and hot. Yuck. The temp is only 72 but it's thick, very humid, my favorite.

You know how we know it's spring around here?

Not the flowers, or the hayfever. Oh no.  

It's Ugly Naked Guy (Our Neighbor, like on Friends) 

He was out in his yard wearing only a pair of shorts. Small shorts.

His enormous hairy belly was out for the world to see, hanging over small shorts.  He is one big fella. He put on some lbs this winter.

He came over to the fence to ask how Rick was doing.  

I didn't need to see this close up. 

Then as he turned to leave me he picked something up in his yard and he bent over. WHY didn't I look away? He burned my retinas.

Yep, no underwear and I got a nice show of his hairy crack. 

What is wrong with him?

We will not see him in a shirt again until next December. 

Although with global warming he may never wear one again. 

I told Rick we should plant very tall shrubs/trees along that fence so we can't see him.

I went to a new place to have a consultation for my hair. 

This last cut I left in tears and I looked like I went back in time to the 80s and I got some sort of a mullet.  It was so awful of a cut. 

I have not had my hair cut since. I let it grow and grow. 

Now it's not really anything except hideous.

Back to the drawing board.

I went back online and looked for salons in area.  It cost so much more money here to have a hair cut and yet no one seems to know how to cut hair or to do anything that is stylish. I called this place I finally landed on after reading reviews everywhere. I also read bios of all stylists. This place seemed a good choice but time will tell. There were 2 stylists I would have chosen by what their specialties were along with their creditials and recurrent training. 

I called and they said a 15 minute consultation is free. 

I was asked,"Who do you wish to make this appointment with?" 

I tell her the 2 I was considering by reading their bios but perhaps she can direct me to the stylist who is good with texturizing with a razor etc. 

She then asked, "How much do you wish to spend?"

WHAT?

Oh $20 is what I wanted to say. 

But unless we go back to 1972 that's not realistic. 

So I asked, "don't you have a set price for haircuts?"

No it goes by stylists and level of expertise and experience she tells me. Okay I am used to that but normally they state, a master stylist is this price etc. 

I don't need to have a Master Stylists who would warrant $110+

I ask if she can please start with who is good with what I am looking for.

She told me two names and both are the same level - $85 - 100.

Oh for the love of God.

To cut my hair. 

Thank goodness I no longer color it.

Now mullet lady charged me $45 and I got what I paid for. 

The other salons I have tried here were all between $70 and $85.

Sooo, I make the appointment with Heather. 

I see her for my free consultation and I left with an appointment for next week.

BUT I forgot to ask what she would charge. 

So this may be a big surprise and have to go on a credit card.

I liked her, she got it, she understood texturizing. I explained since I haven't been able to get a good undercut pixie here, I thought maybe I could grow it out and I showed her what I was thinking.

I have had short hair since 1987 after a bad breakup and have never been able to grow it out. I figure let's try again since I am no longer employed and I don't have to look professional every day. 

If I hate it, I go back to short hair.

She and I discussed where it needed to be less heavy etc. 

Because I used to cut hair, even if only men's, I understand this and it's what I have been saying to all these other stylists.

 

So I left there a bit excited for her to try. It can't be any worse only more $$. Hopefully I won't come home in tears and have to wear my baseball cap for months again.

When I said I wanted it longer, layered, texturized and messy her eyes lit up. She felt I could wear that and with my color it would look great. 

Then she made some suggestions that she thought would be best for me and my hair type. She showed me some styles of her work and a client who has this cut. So we shall see. 

Growing out a pixie isn't going to be fun but hopefully, she can make it look good in each stage.  She was the first stylist who did not try immediately to convince me to color my hair brown since moving here. She loved my salt and pepper and that was a relief. 

I always have to say to other stylists, "Yes, I know you think I look old in gray but it's my hair and I am old."

I always add IN MY HEAD, so fuck off. 🤣

But that was the first thing she said as she is running her hands through my hair, "you really rock gray hair, this looks really good on you. I have clients who pay for this look"  Why thanks because at these prices I couldn't afford to color it too. I appreciated she wasn't just trying to get more money out of me. The bad thing if I do find her to be my new stylist is she only works four days a week.  But at these prices, I get why.

The salon is in a part of Raleigh that Rick and I just love. North Raleigh.

How I wish we could have moved there. We go there to grocery shop at Wegmans, and to shop and to dine, and see doctors, but we don't live there sadly. We come back to hillbilly land and sigh.

Clueless

Yesterday it wouldn't allow me to post this.

So to those who thought this was a untrue.

Here ya go...

My hip is killing me so I needed to get in the only 'position' where I didn't wish to cry.  So around 9ish I think it was, we sat down to watch TV.  

Neither of us wished to get into something deep so we turned on the game show The Floor with Rob Lowe.

We then went into a fit of giggles.

The answers were easy, but that wasn't the problem for us.

We could not figure out who won, why they won, and how the hell the scoring was being done. 

We could not stop laughing at our stupidity. 

These were some things said during this show between laughing so hard.

"If he answered those questions why are they taking points away from him?"

"How the hell did he win?"

"I had a stroke what's your excuse?"

"Am I high right now?"

Nothing like an evening of laughter when you have no idea what the hell is going on.

Maybe some days ya just need to be clueless.

Curious Minds Wanna Know

 Subtitles or Closed Captions? 

Do you use either of these?

Tuesday, on the Today Show, they had a segment on how many young people use subtitles. I was shocked that it was higher than baby boomers.

Subtitles are different from closed caption. Closed Captions use words to show music or explosions etc because it was developed for those deaf or hard of hearing. Subtitles are just the dialogue. 

It stated the following:

ages 18-29 63% use subtitles

ages 30-44 37% use subtitles

ages 45-64 29% use subtitles

Those stats really surprised me. I thought it would be a higher percentage in the 45-64 age group. And it ends up being the lowest. Or that group can't figure out how to turn them on which from the conversation on the show may be an issue.

Savannah Guthrie said what I always say, the music is loud and the dialogue is fast and low. She's younger than me so I felt vindicated.

The younger group was saying they couldn't hear it as well.

That really surprised me but then again in another way it didn't.

So maybe the production of these shows needs to hear this.

I've shared with you here that it started for me many years ago with the show Gray's Anatomy.  

The music was so damn loud and yet the dialogue was so low.

I don't need to hear the music at that level. 

I am watching a show, and I prefer the dialogue to be front and center.

As time has gone on for me, it's now because I don't hear as well. 

But I must admit you could have knocked me over with a feather to find that so many 18-29-year-olds use subtitles.

I had to laugh at those saying they didn't know how to turn them on and off. Seriously on my remote, it's a button. You hit it, they are on. You hit it again and it's off. Why is that difficult? I imagine it's also in the settings as it is on my smart TV and you click on or off. How is that difficult? I'm not a techie so even I can do this but to hear the folks on the couch on The Today Show they made it sound like it's such a difficult task. I must have missed something.

Do you use subtitles or CC?  

If so why? Hard of hearing or the show's production is so poor that the music overtakes the language?

Reviews

Today's post brought to you by ...Netflix

In the past 2 weeks, I have watched two very different shows. Here are a couple of choices for your weekend. Grab the popcorn -

Fool Me Once. 

Good acting, suspenseful, and had some good twists.

We thought it was very good but it took too long to get there. 

It could have been done in fewer episodes. It dragged on a bit too long for us, but others may not think so. 

When we finally arrived at the end it did surprise us both.

Lots of twists and turns that were a bit surprising. 

You know from the very first episode who was doing this bad deed but you didn't always see the twists and turns that would occur. 

A murder mystery is the genre I'd call it. 

Rick and I kept talking during this show saying things like, "Oh you know she is the culprit" or "Why the hell is she telling this person all that information?"

If this had been in a theatre we would have been kicked out for talking! 

We both enjoyed it even though we felt it took too long to get our answer.

Then there is the show Loudermilk.

Oh my goodness this couldn't be more opposite from the previous show.

This show stars Ron Livingston. Normally he is in more serious things but he was also the main star in the comedy Office Space, which has become a cult favorite.

This show is so funny to me. It is a comedy-drama, at least that is how it is listed. Wacky characters make the show. The main character is a  recovering alcoholic who now is an AA counselor. His AA group that gets together weekly is such an eclectic, funny group of people. 

Loudermilk hates everyone and everything and I find him so damn funny. 

He manages to piss everyone off but they also love him.  

He has a very unique way of helping people. I found this show at 1:00 am when I couldn't get back to sleep so I watched the 1st episode thinking it'd be dumb and I'd fall asleep. 

Oops, I was awake and I binged all of season 1. Now I'm on season 2. 

I stopped watching so Rick could catch up. I know he too will love these goofball characters. 

I wish in my life I could behave like Loudermilk and talk to people as he does and get away with it. I'd love to tell these vapid young women to stop talking as they do. It annoys the shit out of me. When he tells this young woman this she doesn't get it. I almost spit out my water because I have said those exact words in my home. I would NEVER have the balls to do that to someone in public. 

So I suppose I see myself in that curmudgeon.  🤣

Man down - Man Flu

My husband has had a stroke. But that is nothing compared to the common cold he now has.  He was easier to deal with in regards to said stroke than this damn cold he just got.OMG.

He had an appointment for a follow-up with his primary care doctor Thursday afternoon. The young and cute Dr. Alison.  I was happy his appt fell on the day of this big bad cold. 

He was showing signs that he was getting sick as of late Wednesday. No fever. Just looked like he was getting sick and the barrage of moans, groans and helplessness gave me a clue.

I got up this morning and left our home at 7:45 to get to my doctor's appointment. I got home and proceeded to remove my nice clothes to put on my retirement uniform, leggings, and an oversized sweatshirt.  

He rolls over and says, "Oh are you getting ready to leave?"  

I laugh and say, "No, I've been to the doctors and I'm home already"  

I was home by 8:45, the office was 6 minutes away.  

He gets up shortly after this as I was sitting enjoying my coffee. 

The whining began. You know this is the worst cold ever in the history of colds and men. Honestly!

He says he wants to cancel his dr. appointment later in the afternoon.

Since he is feeling awful, I point out that this may be a good time to take that appointment and tell her how you feel.  He whined some more.

Oh no, he's going to the dr and if she can give him something to shut him up I'm all for it.  

Bad, bad, wifey.

At 3:15p we arrived at his appointment. He was called back just as I sat down. Oh my, early and everything!

He comes out and tells me it's just a cold and as we drive home he feels me in on the rest. All the while moaning and holding his belly like he's gonna die. 

The traffic was at a standstill. He is upset and moaning that he has to use the restroom. I do a U-turn and head to a shortcut I think will work. I ask if he wants to stop at the Sheetz Gas Station and use the bathroom. 

He bit off my head.  I am fuming. I have no tolerance for him when he's like this. Stroke, yes, a common cold, hell no. But I am quiet because if I say anything I will flip out, best to just keep my mouth shut. No sense in starting a fight. Just get his ass home and maybe he'll take a nap. 

He is sighing, he is moving about in his seat, he is moaning. I get him to our back door and run out of the car to open the door for him. I get back in my car and put it where it belongs and think, maybe I should just sit here for a while in silence. HA HA

I go inside and he wants an Imodium, he wants water, he is dying. 

OMG, you'd think this man has never had pain. He had a stroke. 

This he complains loudly and nonstop for? 

I am having an issue with my hip and it's been ongoing for a couple months and getting worse. I can't sleep in bed. I can't walk standing tall, I am in excruciating pain. Don't get me started about bending. Yet I make it work. 

I don't moan to him. Hell unless you see me you wouldn't know (can't stand up completely straight)

I do not tell people. I do not say much to him. I am dealing with it and hopefully soon (feb 7) I see another orthopedic surgeon for answers.

If I behaved like him he would tell me to rub dirt on it and shake it off.

(and he has uttered those words to me when I had a torn rotator cuff!)

But if I said that to him OMG, WWIII, and he would be so pissy.

He is so easygoing until you get him sick, then look out.

So remember that nice post I wrote about him - this is the flip side.

A friggin' common cold and it brings out the worst in him, always.

I do not care for sick Rick. 

Stroke Rick is fine. Sick Rick is a big fat whiney-ass baby. LOL

Man Flu or Man Cold, either way, what a bunch of wussies.

I'd like to give him a few days of my worst cramps during my cycle. 

Or my pain before surgery this past June. Oh, he would never have been able to deal with that, not even for a minute.

He would probably jump off a bridge. 

Why are men made this way?

You know how you always hear, 'this is why men don't have babies'

I believe if men had babies, abortions would be legal.

Mother in Laws

My Ex Mother In Law passed away last week. 

It was in my hometown paper because she lived and worked there for years but she died in Vermont where she lived. 

So that made my mother call me to share but I already knew.

My former brother-in-law texted me the day she passed. 

My former sister-in-law from another brother called me to tell me the news.

The last time I spoke to my MIL I knew it was close. She was 91. 

I met Betty when I was 17. 50 years ago.

My mom as you all know died when I was 13.

I did get a new mom but she was busy with new kids being overwhelmed and doing things so different from my mom that I just went with the flow.

She wasn't my mom yet you know? Now of course that is not the case today but immediately it wasn't that way. It took time.

My high school boyfriend and I would go out to lunch in our senior year. 

(We could leave the school property for lunch as seniors.) 

Most days we went to McDonald's or some such thing. But a good many times we went to his home. His mom was a dental assistant but she only worked part-time. 

If she were home she'd make us her tuna salad sandwiches (I hate tuna and yet her sandwiches were great) Doc and I would listen to albums on his parent's stereo while eating our sandwiches. 

The long stereo cabinet of the 70s remember those? 

I loved this woman she was so nice and she talked to me like an equal, not a kid. Just like my mom used to. So I enjoyed that. Didn't know how much I missed it until she did things like that.

After school, there were always baseball games. If I was at his house he'd play ball in the yard with his brothers for a bit asking if I minded. Or his father the drill sergeant left orders for him to wash the car after school and be done before he got home. I never minded that I had to sit with his mom.  His mom and I would just shoot the shit. I loved that. Or if she was working on something, flowers let's say, we'd do it together. She always got me involved and I loved it.

Then after high school, I went to barber school, before changing my major.

I got my first apartment, She would visit and she would always bring food. Apparently, Doc told her we never had any food at my apartment. The way this kid ate it was a troublesome thing to him but my roommate and I didn't think it so bad.  My MIL and I would shop, and we did things like friends more than a kid with a parental figure. 

Once I was a licensed barber I would spend time giving her perms at her house. She'd come to our apartment and I'd do her hair and makeup. We would look at magazines and talk about clothes. I cut all the boy's hair in the family etc. I spent most of my time with his family because it was quiet and calmer there and I liked it. Unlike the loud chaos over at my home. 

I spent most of my time at Doc's house even while he was in college. 

They didn't know it but they were adopting me. 

Every summer we spent 2 weeks up in Vermont at the family 'cabin' on the lake. 

It was during the GE shutdown. At the Erie locomotive plant where Doc worked and his father worked in management they shut down the lines etc for 2 weeks.  That was always our vacation time and we always went to Vermont.

It's a house I don't know why they call it a cabin. But it sat on a lake. Because I love water this was nirvana to me. I learned how to water ski and drive a boat. 

Betty was also an aerobic instructor a couple nights a week. So there we all were on the boat and she was in her bikini and I wanted a burka. My goodness, she was in shape. I had my 18-year-old body in a bikini and I'd die for that body now. 

But seeing her taunt belly made me feel very self-conscious.  

She could not have been more lovely though. Her horrible husband wouldn't have tolerated anything but her being perfect. She couldn't swim and was a bit afraid of the water so she was teased by her husband while on the boat. Hell, I'd tell her you look better than everyone on the damn boat, so you can't swim, you look great Betty. She'd laugh and he would roll his eyes at me. (Yes, you are correct he didn't care for me much and I know he knew I didn't care for him much either.  I hated how he treated his sons and his wife.)

The first summer they taught me how to ski, she was my cheerleader. And her husband would say, oh shut up Betty, giving her advice when you have never even tried. Oh, I hated how he would berate her. But honestly,  the fun of water skiing and the laughter is what I remember most. The boys always teasing us being the only 2 women.  Her sons were like my little brothers and boy did they tease and bug me. They grew into wonderful men.

A few weeks ago, just before she passed her 2nd son Steve called me and he reminded me of the time he was learning to drive a stick shift in my VW bug. 

He told me that I was in the back seat and Doc was in the front yelling at him to do this and do that. Finally, Peg, you said to him, "How about I give this a go?"  

Doc got in the back seat and we were doing fine and then he got mad because I jerked the car/clutch again and he hit me upside the head from the back seat.

You had me pull over. Then you read him the riot act that if he continued to yell or touch me you were going to make him get out of your car and walk home.  

Steve said I was just telling Sheila this funny story and where we were and I just had to call you.  I, of course, forgot this whole story.  

I had forgotten all about this situation. If Steve was 16 then I was 20/21.  

Steve reminded me of all the times he came to our apartment when we were first married and he would bring girlfriends. He would always want my opinion. I never gave him one until this one girl. I just said, "You are asking me because you have doubts.  Don't doubt yourself"  He wasn't with her long. He saw the red flags I didn't need to tell him. Boy, I liked having brothers over sisters I must admit.

Betty was the kindest, smartest woman I knew at the time. Her husband was a shit who belittled her and talked to her in a way that made me want to kick him in the nuts. (He spoke to his sons like that too.) I never understood that and I wanted to ask her why she put up with it. But I learned over the years her story and saw the difference in our generations. Things she wanted to do but was fearful. It was a generational thing. I would feel sorry for her because I felt like she was trapped but she would always say she didn't feel trapped she just wished that women in her generation could have been able to speak up and to do whatever it was they wanted without fear, ridicule or shame. She went to a college/university that was an all-women school but now it is co-ed. She would share with me stories of having to wear gloves to dinner and nice 'dinner clothes.'  I can't even imagine.  

Over the years with Betty and many days at the table just chatting I learned of her dreams, her schooling, her parents, how she met her husband, and all the travels they did when he was in the Air Force. The more I knew her the more I loved her.

When Doc and I were going to get a divorce she called to see if she could visit me. Of course. She came by with a bottle of red. She grabbed glasses out of my cabinet and we sat at my kitchen table. I cried as did she. She was so angry at her son. She wanted me to know that this did not have to be the end of our friendship.  She made me promise. And it never did.

We have always kept in touch. Several times a year. Cards, letters, emails, and phone calls. I never missed her birthday and she never missed mine. She would tell everyone I was her favorite daughter-in-law and she would say that in front of her other 2. And they would laugh and say, "We know, we've been hearing about you for years!"  I'm sure it wasn't quite that bad, but it was a fun family joke. 

I recall my first meeting with Sheila, a sister-in-law. 

When Steve introduced me to his wife she said, "Oh so you're the Peggy I've heard about for years. So nice to finally meet you. You're a hard act to follow"  

Okay now that was weirdly uncomfortable for me but I just smiled and went along, not saying anything to add to this uncomfortable topic.

But as time went on I'd learn of the stories. And we all could tease one another about it and that was nice.

Because my ex's name is Rick (Doc) she would always say when referring to her son, "my Rick" not to be confused with the wonderful man I am now married to.

That always made me chuckle. She never called him Doc like everyone else did.

Rick and I went to Vermont one fall and I told her we'd be up there and would she be interested in getting together. She said, "My God if I found out you were here and didn't call me I'd come find you missy"

So as was the case, we sat at a table and drank wine and nibbled while My Rick went fishing and we just had a wonderful time. When Rick got back he said he would hear us laughing down by the lake. Yes, it was like time never passed with each visit.

She told me a few years ago that she so hoped that when Doc got sober he would find his way back to me. You know you were the one that got away, he said it all the time.  I knew that from his brothers who shared that with me. But I told her that made me uncomfortable, to be honest. Why I don't know. I mean, what could I do with that information? 

I am happily married. It worked out the way it was supposed to for me. 

But then after she met My Rick she fell in love with him and could see that no way was going to happen and that Doc blew it. That made me laugh and I agreed with her. I used to tell her if Doc hadn't cheated we'd have been divorced anyway. We were not happy and we wanted different things out of life.We just got married too young (barely 23)

I was glad they figured that out. 

So like any good friends we kept in one another lives, we talked about our husbands and her kids and grandkids. Talked about our travels and our friends.

It was a warm and wonderful relationship that I am going to miss.

The last time in VT was when they invited me up in October shortly after her son died (Doc). I wrote about that trip here in 2018.

I saw her aging and I wanted to tell her things I know I have said in the past but I wanted to be sure I did because I just knew this could be the last time I would see her.  

I reminded her of how much her mothering me at age 17 meant to me and how much I needed it. I reminded her that she was like a mom in a lot of ways and I was so lucky to have her love and friendship. She and I had the same type of relationship I had with my mom and it was so comforting, warm, and loving. 

She told me that she always wanted a daughter and just maybe, just maybe my mom helped us both get what we both needed and wanted. 

(That was heavy Betty) 

I wish the divorce didn't make me lose you and your family I'd tell her. Of course, I never lost them, but you know what I mean, it's never quite the same now is it?

I was lucky to have had her in my life. 

Rest In Peace, Betty.

Follow Ups

To follow up on my Olympic event - 

I don't know why it was so high. Several asked this. I wish I knew. When I walked out I said to the nurse at the desk across from the bathroom. My God that seat is high, she just smiled. I should have said, "Why the hell is that so high?"  Rick thought that perhaps they did this for a special person and then forgot to take it down. 

Others asked, omg, did you wash your hands. Even my husband asked that and he knows I always do and it grosses me out when others don't. But my goodness one must after you saw all the places I had to put my hands to climb. Of course, I did - twice. 

__________________________

The ongoing saga of our bathroom remodel of sorts continues. 
We are now down to the final inspection on Wednesday afternoon. 

If the water test passes, the tiling can begin. And we will be in the final stretch. 

We are doing the shower of course first. Because we had to spend more money on plumbers and new contractors after the 1st company ripped us off and destroyed our home we will not be getting a new vanity this year after all. We will just have to make this work. The important part to begin with was to have a walk in shower for Rick's stroke/leg issue. 

The "bad" company and I don't mean the great rock band, but the bad company who did all this damage also ruined our bathroom floors so we need to get new ones. We looked into repair but it's cheaper to just get new tile. Honestly!  This has been such a cluster @#$! 

_________________

Rick is suddenly coming to terms with how he has to live. 

I think he kept thinking he would get back to his old self. 

His old self is gone, but no one could tell him this, he had to come to this on his own they told me. 

We have all said this in many ways but not bluntly to him. We, being his doctors and therapists.

I knew that if someone said, "Hey this is what you are now going to have to live with so deal with it, and make the best of it" 

He would have flipped out and gotten angry. 

Angry Rick is not pleasant and it wouldn't drive him to work harder, just be pissy. 

So therapists made hints as do I, but nothing close to what I wanted to say.

Thankfully he has great therapists who have helped me as well with Rick's issues. 

I am so damn thankful for that.

The other day he sent me this picture. 

You see he was trying to do something that would have been easy peasy for him in the past. Reading directions to put something together or figuring out a piece of equipment that isn't working properly. But he finds he can't now. It takes a long time or he just feels so frustrated by it all. He feels like he has an attention issue he told me. I can't seem to focus on this long enough it is frustrating me.  So I pull out his OT exercises and we do some of the cognitive ones after dinner. But he is frustrated. I get it and I understand but I don't know what to do to help him. We are both frustrated in ways.

The other day he said, "I hate this new me. I hate this body I'm in and I hate what it's done to my mind. I'm not dumb." 

I told him no one thinks you are dumb, no one. 

But you also don't have to be a superhero either. Whatever it is you can do, continue to do it well and practice. 

And then I took a chance, "Do you think you can handle it if this is the best it will be from now on?"

He was very quiet. He said, "I don't have a choice. I hate being a canteloupe boy though"  He smiled so I knew I could laugh. 

And I did laugh, and that made him happy.

He really struggles with this far more than his physical abilities or lack of abilities. He asked me later if I still liked him. 

My God. Of course, I tell him. 

He said, "No, I know you love me, but can you still like me like Cantaloupe boy?"  

Guys, I wanted to cry. This broke my heart. 

"Of course, I still like you, I also still get frustrated with you, you can annoy the shit out of me, you can make me laugh til it hurts, you spoil me with love and I don't see what is different here babe."

Well, apparently that was the answer he needed because he walked over to hug me and thank me for everything. But to me, it's the truth. Do I like this guy? Of course. Do I wish he could pay attention more, hell yes, I did before the stroke too, so it's just a tad worse now. 

He laughs when I tell him this but it's true.  

I love this man. It breaks my heart to see him struggle like this. 

He is still Rick. 

He is funny. He is warm, he is caring, he is stubborn, he is foolish, and he can still make anything a sexual innuendo at an inappropriate time. 

Yes, he now has attention issues and he can hear things now only dogs can hear but hey, he's still Rick. And let us not forget all his premonitions he has now. Wow. (I keep telling him we need lottery numbers baby)

While this is hell for him it is for me in ways I never imagined. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I still wish he'd see a counselor/therapist. I know he talks to me and shares but I am certain there are things he isn't sharing as well and he needs to.

I tried a therapist and she was shit. I went 4 times and she did nothing.  

We both need to see someone to vent. I have the blog. We have no friends here and you can't just call friends out of state and dump all your shit on them when you don't see them all the time. 

We will figure this out. It has been 8 months since this nightmare began. 

We will just keep plugging away.

Thank you for stopping by when it's not funny around here.

For me, It's better than the $250 an hour one pays for a therapist. :-)

I'm a Damn Olympian

 Some items said and done this past week in our home that I found humorous. So humor me and read on.

If you recall Rick made the proclamation before his stroke that he was no longer bending. Of course, I just laughed.  The other day he had something fall under the kitchen island. He said nothing and when I heard him moan. He pointed to the item. I burst out laughing. I suggested he do it like this...

I show him how to do it but I did not pick it up.

He immediately laughs and says, "I'm gonna pretend I didn't just learn that."(smirks at me) 

Honestly, he is a fool. 

He has been having some really bad pain ever since his pacemaker. Pain that causes lack of sleep etc. Pain that makes him moan all damn day.

The pain is at his shoulder around the pacemaker. 

He was struggling to get his shirt off before bed the other night. 

I suggested he try it this way, as I show him, it will work for you much easier. 

He is sitting on the end of the bed just thinking about what I said I assumed.

He then responded with, "Yeah but then, no one's gonna scratch my back and kiss me after it comes off if I do it myself."  OMG.  

I said, "Listen buddy you can do this and I'm not falling for that helpless shit."

"Well, my next wife is going to be dumb so I can get away with more shit."

Good Luck with that babe.

My Olympic Event - Simone Biles eat your heart out.

Had to go to the ortho doctor on Wednesday.

As I was waiting I asked the nurse if there was a bathroom I could use before the doctor came into the room.

She opened the door and pointed to the door across from the nurse's station.

I walked into the bathroom and laughed out loud. 

I prayed they didn't hear me. 

But I felt like I had to be Simone Biles to get on this toilet.

Now I have seen raised toilet seats, my mom has one. 

But this was double in height of that one. 

It was like 2 or 3 elevated seats on top of one another. 

I was about to pee my pants and had to figure out how I was going to get on this apparatus without a step stool. Sadly I'm a gigglier so I am in there just laughing and cracking myself up. Oh, how I wish I had my phone so y'all could see this thing.  And I hope they can't hear me laughing.

I thought, "Do I back up and run like jumping a pummel horse?"

Well, I got up there and my feet didn't even go over the toilet bowl to dangle. Try peeing like that will ya. Try peeing while you're laughing this hard. Not as easy as it sounds.

After I did my business I had to have the perfect dismount. 

I jumped and I felt like I had to put both arms in the air (like a td) and see what the judges were going to give me. I think it was a solid 9.  All while grabbing my underwear and the lovely paper shorts they give you and jumping down. Yep, I'm an Olympian all right!  

Funny at 2am

Well, we survived that storm.

It got as miserable as they said it would only much later in the afternoon.

It was so dark and the wind was incredible.

The rain was hitting the windows with such force I really thought it might be hail but it was not.

We lost power for a short time.

Then the winds took out the satellite dish.

So we sat in candlelight and laughed about it.

The power was only off for 25 minutes. 

Those around us we saw on TV were having a much more difficult time. Flooding, trees falling on houses, cars, and properties, and no power.

We got lucky ...for a change of pace, you know.

When the lights came on I looked outside our front window and saw all kinds of things in our yard and driveway. Our driveway had a swimming pool. A medium size kids' pool.  We had a shutter from someone's house on our front lawn as well as an outdoor cushion from something and somewhere.

Thankfully all of our things are in here and not broken. 

Today is a bit windy but sunny and in the high 50s so we are back to normal winter for now.  

Last night I was watching Jimmy Kimmel as I am prone to do at 2am. I record the show and know when I wake up in the middle of the night I have something to watch. Yes, that is my crazy sleeping habit or late.

There was an actor on Kimmel discussing a show on Hulu. 

I don't know if I was just so tired that I found it funny or it really can be funny.

I do not watch reality shows except for 3, Amazing Race, Tough as Nails and any that may be on HGTV.  So the fact that this is a spoof on reality shows made me laugh because I dislike them so much. 

Will it be funny though? 

This was the synopsis he gave.

When a middle-aged man (Jake Johnson) is invited into a limo by famous actor Andy Samberg, his dull life takes a thrilling turn. Johnson is offered a chance to win a million dollars in a dark web reality TV show, where assassins from all over the world attempt to kill him for 30 days.

Sick and twisted or funny or both? 

I think I may have just been sleepy. 

'Snow Day'

This morning the rain was normal. No biggie. Whew.

We made it to the eye doctor at 9:30am. Then we proceeded to spend just shy of $1,000. Geez, no deductible has been met due to being the 1st of the year. Great. Then of course his new glasses. He has been having such difficulties and we found out these lenses were all wavy. 

Costco glasses for you.  Never again!

So instead of going the cheap route we got theirs and paid for it. 

But there are 2-year warranties on the lenses and the frames. 

Should they get scratched bring them in and they will be fixed free of charge. And since that has been an issue for Rick in the past that was worth paying for.  

It was so difficult for him to try on new glasses when he couldn't see them without wearing his old glasses. That is the crazy part for those who can't see a lick without glasses.

Rick picked out a pair so different from what he normally wears. He tried on some that made us laugh so hard. All inappropriate comments from us that of course, we whispered for only us to hear our sick jokes. One pair was like Harry Potter and the woman said oh no, it can't be and he turned around and she laughed and said, 'Okay,I don't think those are for you'. 

One pair looked like Dame Edna if you recall her, and they were in the male side of the glasses. But I am certain some males would wear them but it wouldn't be Rick.                       

We got the giggles in the corner and they came over to 'check' on us. 

We were fine, just laughing at trying to find new glasses without wearing one's glasses. We got the feeling that they wanted us to hurry because they were closing up shop at noon due to the impending storm.

So they took my money and off we went.

So I needn't have worried. The storm has not come through yet. Maybe it won't. I don't know. We've done all we can do to secure things outside and now we just have a nice lunch and maybe take a nap. :-)  

I've really learned to enjoy a quick nap. Who knew? 

Linda said in comments that the rain must have been difficult for me while living in the Pacific Northwest. (Seattle) 

No, it wasn't like that at all. 

Rain to me in Seattle is more of an annoyance. 

It doesn't thunder, lightning, rain sideways, or rain hard.

Rain there for the 2.5 years I was there was always a mist. 

A big damn annoying mist. And when it rained harder, it was just rain. 

Nothing like the torrential rains of a hurricane, or a storm in the midwest or east. When I told people that they only had 39 inches of rain a year, my family would say, gee we get more than that. (my hometown of Erie PA gets 42) 

Yes, but it's a hard rain and it's not every damn day. Rain that hits the window and makes noise kind of rain. Never had that in the PNW.

That is the difference. (That and the whole no sun thing)

Nothing is more beautiful than Seattle on a clear day though!!

I would assume that with climate change it will be less rain now than when I lived there in the late 90s. Making for more beautiful days. 

I used to say how I loved the rain. 

Then I moved there. I wasn't specific enough. Oops.

Be careful what you wish for right?😉

Rainy Days a Comin'

Here I am with another day of no appointments. (Mon) I can get used to this. It's like being retired or something.

However, the weather is supposed to be very bad here tomorrow and I have to take Rick for an eye exam. I wish to cancel but have no other dates to move it to so I have to suck it up.

I had a car accident in Northern VA on a rainy slippery evening. 

It was blinding rain. I turned off a side street onto Chain Branch Road at 5:30pm. 

It was bumper to bumper cars in the afternoon commute.

It was winter, it was dark and the glare of this major road was crazy. 

I sat at this corner forever before I could turn onto it. It was all clear.

I turned left onto the lane and as soon as I did two people in front of me slammed on the brakes. Making the woman in front of me crash into her car. I had my foot almost on the pavement like Fred Flinstone attempting to stop but I couldn't stop fast enough. I wasn't even going 35 mph yet, but I hit her and the man behind me hit me, and on it went.  

I was sucker punched by my airbag. I did not have my seat belt on. 

So my fault. I hate how they cut across my neck because I'm short so I did not wear it that night. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If I had I would not have been hurt. 

When I was rear-ended I was jerked forward and now my face was on the steering wheel when the airbag opened. I was hit smack dab in the face with a force like I have never felt. 

Now my eyes INSTANTLY shut. I could not see a thing. I was freaking out. 

I was alone. Rick was waiting for me to return from a hair appointment and was making us dinner. I tried to feel around the front seat and floor for my purse and phone. 

It was a flip phone to give you an idea of how long ago this was. 

Finally, a medic/EMT came to my window and helped me. He saw that my eyes were swollen shut and just put me in an ambulance. I recall how kind he was and held my hand and guided me where to walk. I begged for them to get my purse. 

They found it and put it on my belly in the ambulance.

The ride to the hospital was horrific. I heard them say to take this route on their dispatch radio. 'Fairfax was full, go to the Reston Hospital.'

The woman driving said she didn't know how to get to that hospital. I was in the back, unable to see, but feeling okay, telling her which road, which exit, etc. How crazy is that? 

When I got to the hospital I was taken into a room where they secured a brace around my neck and I could feel an exam being done. They asked me to take off my sweater and I was happy to with their help because if they had cut it I'd have lost it. It was new and it was cashmere.  I am shallow even in those types of situations I learned. Not a pretty trait. 

But as I whine typing this, it was the first time I wore it!

I am literally blinded and can see nothing, my eyes are completely swollen shut. 

I could only imagine what I looked like. My nose was bleeding as well as a cut on my face. I had braces at the time (yes in my 40s) and I kept saying I had blood in my mouth, I could taste it, are my braces okay? I'm certain they thought that should be the least of my concerns. 

The EMT lifted my lips like they do a horse to view the braces etc and that made me chuckle. He asked if I was okay. I said it just struck me funny how you are moving my mouth like you would a dog or a horse. I know nothing is funny right now, I'm sorry. 

He laughed and said he understood, sometimes humor is good in these situations.

 I don't know about that but it defused the moment for me. 

 I asked if I could have my phone to call my husband. They gave me a room wall phone and they dialed him. They held the phone to my ear. I said, "Rick I need you to know I AM FINE, but there was a pile-up car accident and they have me at the Reston Town Hospital..."  

He didn't let me finish. He was out the door and when he arrived they told him they took me into the back to work on and put him in a room that my things were in. What a terrible way to say that to him. 

When he walked into the room he just saw massive amounts of blood and bloody sheets and towels on the floor. He was freaked out. He told me later, that they said they took you into the back to work on you, what did that mean? Surgery? What is going on?  

He went to find someone who could help him and calm him down. He was told I just having X-rays. Whew!  They explained what the airbag did to my face. The male nurse said it looks like I went a round or 2 with Mike Tyson. He wanted him to be prepared.

When I was wheeled back into the room Rick was waiting and I heard him say,
"Margaret I'm here."  He grabbed my hand since I couldn't see him. 

They let me go home with him and we learned where my car had been taken to retrieve the next day.

So that is why I hate driving in the rain. 

I'd rather drive in a snowstorm than rain.

Snow doesn't scare me. 

Rain on the other hand makes me want to stay home.

Ever since this accident, it has made me so paranoid to drive in the rain, but I have to do it.  Oh, it's fine if it's a little rain but not monsoon rain as they are predicting. It's a 100% chance of rain tomorrow with high winds. 

If it was snow I could call them and say, "I can't make it in" and they would understand. But with rain, I know I look and am a wuss so I can't do that.  

Rick said, "Hey I'll drive"  

I looked at him and said, "Oh yeah, that will make me calmer"  

We had a good laugh about that one.

UPDATE--Schools are closed for tomorrow's (Tues) rain storm. Looks like others are chicken like me.

Cancer Free!

Finally, we've received some good news.

Today, Friday, we went to get Rick's stitches out of his melanoma scar from his surgery.

We got the results and all margins are clear and he is cancer-free.

The best news we've had in some time.

Driving there he was so quiet. I knew he was stressed about this even though he'd say he wasn't. I was too but didn't wish to talk about it.

So we were both able to exhale today.

They removed the stitches. The hematoma is smaller and will just take time to go away. He will be having another spot, that is not cancerous but if not taken care of will be next month.  

So on this Friday evening, we are going to have some red wine and celebrate the good news. Now if we can just get his pacemaker not to be causing him such pain he'd be good as new.

It's supposed to be heavy rains here this weekend while those in the midwest and soon the east coast are going to be blanketed in snow. It looks so pretty on TV. I'm just glad I no longer live in it. 

Be Safe, Stay Warm and Enjoy your weekend!!

Ten - Ten

I had my doctor's appointment today, not Rick for a nice change.  

I wanted to avoid getting on the highways and doing this trip. It's 3 different highways and it's confusing as hell to me.

As I complained to no one since Rick wasn't listening to me just sitting across from me, I took out my phone and typed the address into Maps. It showed me two ways. 6 minute difference in the 2 ways to get there. I hit the extra 6-minute way to see the directions. OMG, no highways, all back roads. I was going to do that. What's six minutes if I can stay off the interstates?  I did a "wooo hooo" 

Rick then asked what was going on. I told him I was telling you but you had your head in your phone.  He said, "I heard you"  

"Okay then, why did you ask why I was hootin' and hollerin'?"

Laughing now he says, "Okay you got me, what's going on?" 

So I explained my newly discovered route. 

I took this beautiful ride through the countryside sprinkled with McMansions.

I was on the road called Ten-Ten for 8 miles (I still find that a damn funny name for a street) and then I had to make a turn and then my 2nd turn was on Penny Rd. (How can you name a road Penny Road, it must be Penny Lane if you ask me)

One more turn and I was there.  It took me 57 minutes. 50 minutes more than I wanted but it wasn't a stressful drive at all.

I'm at the doctor's office and the woman at the desk says, "Boy you came a long way."  

I agreed but as I told her, Everything is in Cary. We got to chatting a bit. 

She was just delightful as most are in the county I don't live in. 

Cary reminds me of NoVA and it's very comfortable to me.

I think I told you when the old man was in front of my house and I asked to pet his gorgeous dog he told me I was a damn Yankee and he asked me why didn't I move to Cary with the rest of them.  I did not understand at the time but he told me that Cary stood for Containment Area for Reclocated Yankees. (I believe I shared this) I still find that funny even though he was attempting to insult me it is funny to me.

So after we chatted I paid my bill and this lovely woman gave me my receipt and card for my next appointment.  She also showed me where to park so I could take the elevator next time if I wanted. We said goodbye and off I went down those 100 steps. 

I got into the car and saw a Starbucks in the plaza and grabbed my Xmas gift card and went over there to use the bathroom and grab a coffee. 

I skipped my morning coffee you see and I was jonesin'. 

Without the stress of 80mph on the interstates I knew I could enjoy my coffee on my way home.

Apparently just before I got home there was a news break that there was a very bad car crash on Ten Ten Road. The woman was in critical condition and was taken to the hospital. The truck driver was uninjured. Rick saw this and freaked out. He knew I was taking Ten Ten Road. My cell rang. I could not grab it at the time so I waited until I got to a place to pull over. I returned Rick's call. He was even more panicky because I did not pick up. I explained that there were a lot of cars behind me so I wanted to stop at the gas station I saw just a few feet ahead. He only had to wait a minute at best but I get it now. He understood but my goodness he was shaken up. I understood that as well. I'd have been too. I told him I'd be home in about 15 minutes. He told me to be careful. Rick told me they stated on TV that the road was closed.  I assumed this accident was now behind me on Ten-Ten since I only had to go about 2 more miles before getting off that road. 

So when I got home, he was at the back door to give me a big hug immediately upon walking in the door.

He said he was so scared. 

I think we've had enough fear these past 8 months, don't you?