Last Day of 2012 - Thank Goodness!!!!!!!!!

Over the course of this past week or so I have lost my way to the gym but found my way to my kitchen fridge.  Not good.

Back to the gym I go.....that was a tough one today.
Oh how I love my homemade eggnog but sadly so does my ass.

We had a motley fun crew for our holiday dinner. All of us who weren't with family but with friends. We drank, we ate, we laughed.

And Lisa made me laugh the most. Here she is.....

On 2nd glass of eggnog....
I didn't know I liked egg nog.
This is good though.

Appetizers....What are these in this spinach artichoke dip that are crunchy?

Water chestnuts.

Huh. I didn't know I liked water chestnuts.

Salad at dinner....

I don't like peas but I like these peas - who knew?

That just cracked us all up. She's a hoot.

We drank, we ate, we laughed and we unsnapped our pants.

I never did take a photo of the food but here is the cheesecake that Lisa brought and made!
It looked just like a photo of a cheesecake from a magazine.
Sadly I didn't take a photo until we dug into it. It was as good as it looked!

Of course I took photo's after I set up the bar before people came.

Yes, I made the eggnog before people came. We had to make sure it was good enough to serve to our friends. Aren't we thoughtful?

 The bar set up below  - other side of runner was food but not out yet of course. We made them eat appetizers and drink for a few hours to work up the appetite. Or kill it if dinner turned out terribly wrong. I should have taken one of us all at the dinner table but by that time I was a few sheets to the wind. It would not have been clear anyway.

Christina brought a new beau. It's so new they couldn't keep their hands off each other and giving each other goo -goo eyes. He was a cutie I admit. (Christina and Joe on left in gray)

Izzy stares at the food. She never ever licks or touches anything. But she will smell and if she gets too close we just say, "ah ha" and she puts her little head down like she knows she was bad and will walk away. But it is almost like we are torturing her. We are mean human parents.

The one above she is just staring and it cracks me up.  The one below she is smelling. Oh how she would dig into that cheese if she could.

 Finally I had to make that sound so she would back up. She did but was not happy. But she left it all alone the rest of the day.  This is why we call her Izzy the Wonder Dog. Once corrected she is a good dog and we don't know how we got so lucky.

We went to 3 neighborhood parties. 3 Saturdays in a row.
One was so much fun. (first one) Good time had by all and it's a blast each and every year.
Doesn't he look miserable below?  I should have captured him after that party.
Big difference. He was happy, happy, happy. Becasue we could walk to their house and home he took advantage of that for sure. (yes I didn't crop photo to take out heating pad in corner - remember man with broken back here and he was lying on it earlier before the alcohol numbed him)

Second one was military people and it was so boring and the people were so dull and could only talk work. We left quickly and said we had another soiree to attend. I know that wasn't nice but my goodness this was the worst party I have ever attended in my life!
We instead went home and got in our comfy clothes and made fun of all the stiffs at this party. Geez these folks wouldn't know a good time if it hit them. I wanted to scream fire just to see them be animated and move their butts. They all had an air about them of self importance and that alone is enough to make one vomit.  No one really smiled or laughed or was jovial in any way. I felt like running down to my house to bring back a few bottles to loosen these folks up.

All in all they were just really big nerds who had really big ego's and that makes for a very boring party as well as very boring people. The wife of the couple having the party had some  people from her family there.  Like Rick and myself they stuck out.  They were animated, friendly and warm. But I could only talk to them for so long. We just had to leave this place. (they didn't even have music - c'mon not even holiday music! who does that for a holiday party?!) I know that makes us bad but we just couldn't stay for a long time.

The 3rd party was nice enough. Not as much fun as the first one but not as bad as the 2nd one. Somewhere in the middle. We love the woman having it and that was why we went. She is so good to us and a great neighbor. It was a nice diverse group and that makes for a better party. Her grandkids were there as well as her children, some friends and neighbors of hers. It was nice.

In the mean time over the holiday I have continued to play with my camera and discover new buttons and what they are for.  It may take me a couple years it appears for me to grasp this thing. This pic of Izzy below cracks me up because I know I am driving everyone crazy with my new camera and taking photo's constantly. (and mostly deleting them)
Izzy is especially bothered. For some reason she hates having her photo taken. 
She will always look away once I pick up the camera.
This one looks like she's saying to me, "Really is this how it's going to be all the time now?"
Yes I say because you're so friggin' cute, you're my best subject!!

 We both are seriously tired of all the parties, food and liquor.
I know you wonder where you're at. Can't be at SUNC, they never tire of food and liquor. Well believe it or not we have hit that mark now.
Let the dieting begin..... Okay but after tonight's dinner and wine.

And here we are  - New Years Eve.

It is our 19th wedding anniversary today. (and we haven't killed one another)

We are about to hit the 26 year mark of being together here soon.

(living in sin before marriage you know)

Time sure flies when you're having fun.

No parties to attend tonight. Just us.

Dinner and we'll be lucky if we see the ball drop.

We're old - we haven't stayed up to see the ball drop in years.

Pathetic aren't we? Don't much care if I'm being honest.

This is why we got married on this day - well and the big romantic tax reasons.

We both dislike this fake holiday and now we always have an excuse when people ask us to go out with them and get stupid.

"No thanks, it's our anniversary", will stop them from going on and on about it.

Works like a charm.

I am thrilled that 2012 is over.
It was a helluva year for we here at Straight Up No Chaser.
2013 has to be better.

Here's to a year of my house gaining equity so I can move.
Rick's patents and business going global and being wildly successful.
And to me getting a face lift.
Oh sure you thought I was going to say something profound like peace on earth or random acts of kindness - what? You new here?

Happy New Year!!

The World is Ending and my Hair's a Mess

According to the Mayans the world is to end today.
I didn't even get my roots done. So I will probably die with gray roots.
Damn it! I have been so unorganized this year.

My husband saw a recipe for bacon bark on televsion.
He hasn't stopped salivating since.
Dark and white chocolate peppermint bark is something he likes me to make at this time of year. But after he saw this he insisted it must be made.
That means ole Rick is in the kitchen making bacon bark last night.
Seriously this man was vibrating with happiness. Bacon, bacon, bacon in my desserts!!

OH MY GOD WHAT A MESS!
Yes I left the mess until this morning.
When Rick is in the kitchen an empty 7ft kitchen island can be completely full of shit, so much so you can't see the island only an island of a mess.  The dishes piled in the sink, food on the floor and all things are sticky. If he touches the fridge, the cabinets, the oven door etc, they will be so sticky to the touch.  I went to bed to this mess downstairs and I woke up this morning and began my clean up detail.  And for some reason he doesn't even see the mess. He still smells the bacon though this morning and that made him happy, happy, happy.

He ate 98% of this bacon bark and this morning there are a few (3) pieces left.
I think he liked it. I tried it. It was okay. (I'm not a pecan's biggest fan.)
Just what my carnivore bacon obsessed man needs bacon bark.

This man will eat most anything if wrapped in bacon.
I swear if I put a dab of bacon grease behind each ear I could get him to follow me anywhere and do anything.  I may have to start wearing that because it is less expensive than cologne.
If I wrapped myself in bacon it would make him a very happy man.
Naked and Bacon - his favorite gift right there!
(Hey I think I just found a new slogan for his T-shirt.)

For his birthday I saw a bacon of the month club. No shit there is one.
He was so thrilled when I got him fruit of the month one year.
(no that would not thrill me but he likes fruit almost as much as bacon - almost)
So I can't wait to get this for him.
He will be squealing like a pig.   ha ha, pun intended.

This will be my last day on the blog.
I'm off into the wild frenzy of this least favorite holiday of mine.

I hope all of my blogger readers have a Wonderful Holiday and it is everything you want and need it to be.

See you all next week.

Merry Christmas!

My Favorite Holiday Video

A  friend asked me about this video I had on my blog back in 2008.
I do so love this commercial so here is my annual posting of it.
I get such a kick out of the things being said on the loudspeaker in the background.

So to all my male blogger buddies, take heed. Your significant other does not want a vacuum, a moustache waxer or to be told her mom can really rock her bikini!

Random Items

I'm in an odd mood today.
I am sick and that surely doesn't help much.
I don't normally get sick or the flu.
I just deal with allergy issues.
But I started going to the gym - germs galore and people, lots of people.
I imagine that is how I got sick since normally I don't see a lot of people due to working from home and only walking my dog.
Damn gym, another reason one shouldn't go.
_________
This weekend was 24/7 of the tragedy in Connecticut.
We just couldn't take it anymore.
It's all so big, sad and heart breaking.
Sunday morning Rick and I were in tears and he said, "Why are we watching this? I don't need to cry in the morning!"
We turned on some happy music to get away from it all.
I can't fathom the pain these families are dealing with this.
They can't get away from it all.
___________
We had 2 pay per view certificates from Dish Network so we ordered a movie last night.
Thankfully this was free because the movie really sucked.
We heard from everyone who saw it how funny it was.
Grown up people who's opinions we respected.
It wasn't funny or well written.
The only time we laughed was the ending updates over the credits.
We kept saying, what is wrong with us? Why don't we find this funny when everyone else did?  Why do we always like movies no one else does?  Why did we want to punch Mark Wahlberg and that accent out of his mouth?
So tell me did you see Ted? Did you like it? What the hell did I miss?
Mila Kunis sure is gorgeous though isn't she?  I get why all the men are ga-ga over her.
_________
I start a photography class in late January.
I have always wanted to learn to take good pictures. I take horrific photos.
I admit I was very intimated about doing this but it has been growing louder and louder for me to do this over the last 2 years. I wouldn't admit it to anyone because honestly I thought I was nuts to think about doing this. And of course the cost factor.

Then I said it out loud to Rick. He thought it would be a great idea.
I was still not convinced.
Rick will support any half assed idea I have.
I can't rely on him to be objective and I know that.

The next day I got a book in the mail listing all the adult classes in the county I live in.
I was flipping through the book and saw knitting and thought, gee that would be fun to get into again. I haven't made anything in a really long time. Then right across from the knitting was beginner photography. Hmmm....it was at a school close by in the evenings.
One day a week for 2 hrs.  (Jan - April) Not much money was needed for the class at all.
I've spent more on wine.  But I couldn't make myself do it.  Fear.
It always comes down to fear doesn't it?
I have shown no talent for this what so ever - hell I have no talents what so ever.
I have just had a bug up my ass for 2 yrs about doing it.
Don't know why I was just drawn to it.
Rick has been saying to me since the day I met him, "What would you do if you took fear out of the equation?"  I know he's right but this time it was the money issue more than even the fear.  Or was I using that excuse?  

I folded over the page and left the book on the coffee table for a week.
Then as I was dusting off the table I read it again. Could I do this?
The last line of the course description said to bring your own camera.
Well I don't have one except a point and shoot and they want you to bring a DSLR.
So the class is cheap, cheap, cheap but buying a camera will not be.
So I dusted the table and put that book back on top of my stack of magazines.
For some odd reason I couldn't bring myself to toss this into the recycle bin just yet.

For a week Rick kept asking me if I signed up for the class.
I kept telling him the cost of a camera was way more than we could afford.
He kept telling me to spend the money for all the work I did on the house sale and the finances etc of this last year of juggling and taking care of everything for him. 
I tried to keep the stress off Rick and handle it all myself.
"Please treat yourself for all the hard work you did alone. You deserve this" he would say.
 Yes, I did do it all but I did it for us.
He didn't have time, nor the fortitude to deal with all the minutia.
Add to the fact that he would have told this buyer to go to hell with all the pickyune (sp?)shit.  I had to do it. Besides the stress would have sent him over the edge.
But that doesn't mean I should be spending money on a camera I don't need.

So Rick went to Best Buy and bought me a camera that was $200 less than normal if purchased by a certain day. He told me it was an early present.
I said, "We don't do Christmas presents!"
He said, "then it's a thank you and a birthday present. Margaret just say thank you."
Oh I thanked him (wink wink)
I have now signed up for classes.
We'll see how this goes.
As of right now I can't figure out much on this camera.
I finally got it turned on and took a few pictures.
How do I get them to my computer I still don't know.

The new camera makes me feel incredibly stupid.
Took me 2 days to figure out how to turn it on and take photos.
Sadly that is no exaggeration.
I hope I have a grasp before I get to class.
I realize this is a beginner class and not a special needs class.
I will at least need to know how to turn the damn thing on.
I don't worry about feeling stupid in class or any of that stuff.
I worry about never grasping this after Rick paid for a nice camera.
Not looking good right now since I can't figure out many of these buttons.
The manual is Greek to me.....I need to learn Greek quickly.

Holiday Cartoons

I am stealing this idea from my blogger buddy Bill and having a Saturday Cartoon day.
Here ya go.....

 

2013 I Can't Wait Until You Get Here!

2012 has sucked big time for me.
So I am not completely a scrooge I will say, I am thankful to be alive.
The rest of the year can all go to hell.

My husband's body is falling apart all in a matter of 2 months.
Let's recap shall we?

He had a heart issue that thankfully was benign and seems to be righting the course with medication. That was a fun scary trip though.
Then he walked into the corner of a planter that tore the tendon over his knee cap and had him down for the count for 3 1/2 weeks.
Then he began complaining about his back, A LOT.

Now I have shared with you right here on this page that my husband is the nicer version of me. But when he is in pain everyone must suffer along with him. I am not like that. I just go away quietly and want to sleep or be left alone.  Oh no, if he suffers everyone must suffer. 
If this is my future with this old coot I am in a shit load of trouble...or maybe he is.
He gets mean and cranky and truthfully I would just as soon kill him than live with him.
I always say there is a reason I do not believe in owning guns, because I would use them. This past week would have been one of those occasions!

Headlines: Wife shoots husband because he was a cranky ass bastard to her and everyone around him. She was exhausted and tired of being kind, nice, patient and waiting on him hand and foot all the while taking his abuse of barking, whining, and screaming at the dog or his wife. Jury lets her off the hook because of the video showing Satan had possessed her former sweet man's body.

Rick, who will now be referred to as CAB (cranky ass bastard) came home from work and would lay on a heating pad and bark at me. He would eat Ibuprofen like pez.  He would drink alcohol. He wouldn't go to the doctor. Then finally he went to the see the chiropractor.  He went 3 times. It didn't help a great deal. The pain shooting down his ass and thigh was a bit better but not enough to turn him back into the man I love. I wanted to run away.

I suggested going to see my back doctor. I reminded him of my back surgeries and how this man helped me. How he was just voted the top 1% in the whole US of A. He is that good. Nope he wouldn't go. Well I got sick of his whining and yet doing nothing about it so I did it myself.

I called the doctor because if I didn't get him help I would be rotting in jail over Christmas. The lovely office manager told me there was a cancellation if I could bring him in the very next day. I told her I'd carry him if necessary.  I changed Rick's work schedule and made this happen. Believe it or not the customers were understanding and worked with me. That in of itself is a Christmas miracle and I am thankful (again) for that.

Yesterday morning CAB went to the doctors office at 8AM.
It was a 2 hour visit and $710.00 later (they don't take insurance at the spinal institute) we find that he has a hairline fracture in his lower back, L5 is slipping causing it to hit the SI joint (hip) and he has a herniated disc on L4/L5 causing the nerve to be pressed on causing the pain down the ass and thigh.  

CAB is falling apart people.
His warranty on his parts appears to be null and void.

He began a steroid pack this a.m. and after that he then begins a prescription anti-inflammatory. They can't be taken at the same time apparently. I called and got him started on Physical Therapy for next week. If this does not relieve him they will then go to a shot, no not just tequila but of cortisone I presume.  Eventually he will need surgery.

Boy we got him insurance in the nick of time didn't we?
(Thank you President Obama again!)

They also told him he MUST lose weight.
Great, talk about bringing back CAB!
The doctor told him that he must remove all white things from his diet.
There is an acid in the white carbs that increases the inflammation they are trying to remove. Rick is in pain and on a diet. The doctor apparently hates me. 

I don't eat white foods due to my gluten issue. So basically he'll be eating like me which means not two different meals but one. Sounds nice but I know how Rick can't wrap his head around dieting. This should be a boat load of fun.  Depriving him of his beloved pizza should help the CAB meter.

The  best thing of all you ask? DRUGS. Yes, drugs!
Oh the glorious invention of narcotics!! 
They gave him some percocets because he has issues with vicodin.
The doctor wasn't certain that percocets would be strong enough to relieve the pain.
But thankfully Cranky Ass Bastard turned into Rick last night after the medication took effect.

The wonderful world of drugs allowed him to sleep last night, apologize over and over again for being a shit head ....and I did not say, Oh stop it, it's okay.
Oh no, he should have apologized. He was a shit.
And I accepted those apologies graciously all night.
CAB turned into Rick and he even smiled and laugh.
Oh I now get why people get addicted to drugs.

I am thinking of baking his pain medication in some cookies, dropping them in his water and food supply. It may be the only way to do an exorcism on Cranky Ass Bastard! 
Is that wrong?

My Trip North

I made it up to Erie Pennsylvania without a hitch.
I picked up my niece in Pittsburgh on Friday from her job at the mall.
She works as well as going to grad school.

She asked me if I had room in my car for her laundry on the phone the day before we left.
I laughed and said, "of course, I have an SUV"
But when she came out of her apartment with this enormous amount of dirty laundry I literally laughed out loud. I asked her if she had any clean clothes at all with her.
She said, "I'm wearing them."  Good thing I had this big vehicle because she took up the whole back seat with her dirty clothes. Seriously blogger friends she had a full closet full of dirty clothes! (And she has a lot of clothes, she works at a clothing store at the mall)

She told me it was $5.00 to wash and dry one load so she likes to take them home as often as possible. So with me driving this was a cheap way to do laundry.  Oh how I remember those days! 
It was so great having her in the car for the last 2 hours of the trip. Made it fly by.
She is such a great young woman and I am so proud of her. But that story is for another day.

The whole weekend up there was grey, damp and drizzly. I thought I was in Seattle.
It was 50 degrees and that is so unusual for Erie in December let me tell you!!

Friday night I sat with my parents in the kitchen drinking wine and "shooting the shit" as they say. My nieces and my parents and I all laughing and talking.
My father looks frail to me. He was always this big barrel chested man with Popeye forearms and now he is this little man who is so skinny and small. Everyone who sees him all the time don't seem to notice. But I don't see him often and I see the changes and they appear to be so dramatic to me. His face has a bright pink spot where he just has some melanoma thingy removed.  (yes that is the technical term)
He has some brown spots like old people get on his face.
He is probably at my goal weight of 120-125lbs.
That is so small for a man who was so robust and big before. 

My father was talking about his "Dago Red" which when I was growing up he made it in our basement.  I remember all those jugs on the top of his work bench filled with this dark red wine that he gave to my Uncles and we drank a lot of. 
My father turned to me and said, "Peggy did you live with me in Fairview when I made the Dago Red?"  That hit me like a slap in the face. I had to fight back tears.

You see we moved to Fairview, a suburb of Erie, when I was 5 years old. 
I grew up there and lived there until I moved out at  age 19 yrs. 
I used to sit on the top of his work bench and watch him fill the bottles and he would let me have a taste from his fingers after he dripped it all over. I loved that! 
(So you see I have been drinking red wine since I was a little thing)

So hearing him ask me this threw me for a loop.  I didn't know what to say?
Do I say something and make him feel badly because he is slipping?
Do I just let it go? 
My mother jumped in and said, "Of course George, Peggy grew up in Fairview."
He said embarrassingly, "Oh yeah, that's right."  and he went on with his story.

I have always been afraid, no, petrified, of house cats. I mean it's a fear like one has of anything. I know most don't understand it and tell me things like, "Oh but you'd like my cat." No I wouldn't. It's not about liking, it's about FEAR.
I always tell them if I were afraid of heights would you make me stand on a ledge at 13 stories and tell me it's okay because it's not the penthouse floor?
No, you'd understand it's a fear at 13 stories up or 30 stories up.
I get it; the fear of cats is not logical, but most fears aren't.
So to the rest of the story..... My father asked, "why aren't you staying at our house?"
I told him, "because you have cats now Dad" (they were locked up in their bedroom because I was there)
He said, "since when don't you like cats?" I said, "I am afraid of them Dad it's not about liking them" He then said, "Really? since when?"

That about sent me over the edge. He has known this since I was an itty bitty thing.
I really had to fight the tears. Now I assumed my father was dealing with dementia and it was the first time I have seen this.
It was not pleasant. So again I just played along with him.
I told him since I was a little girl I have been afraid of them.  He just nodded and told me that it was okay he didn't really like the damn cats either. That made me laugh.

He seemed coherent the rest of the time there. Apparently according to my mom he is "with it" were her words, the majority of the time. She has not shared any of this on my weekly phone calls you see.  She said he is fine and then he will "slip" and then he's back. 
It could be weeks she said before it will happen again. She has taken him to the doctor and they said at 85 it was nothing to be alarmed about. It wasn't Alzeheimers just the normal things that happen to one at that age. I wasn't buying it all but I let it go. Maybe they are right, but I doubt it.

It's just weird to see this big strong man who you grew up believing could do anything.
He was your protector as a child and young woman. The big man who slipped you a $20 when you went home to eat or do laundry, who helped you move your furniture from apartment to apartment, who scared all your boyfriends, who walked you down the aisle and now he is so small  and frail and doesn't know you out of context.

It wasn't my favorite trip.

Heading North

I'm a glutton for punishment so I am heading north in winter.
I haven't seen my father in a year and he's not getting any younger.
Since we can't go up there for the holidays I am making a quick trip up north for the weekend. I'll be leaving early Friday morning.

While I want to see everyone I admit I really need to see my Dad.
It's important to see him while he's alive and not regret not going after he's gone you know?

My dad continues to work at Wal-Mart as a greeter at age 85. (okay 8 weeks shy of 85)He hasn't been feeling tip top of late but he will never miss work.
I swear he thinks that the place will collapse without him there.
(there's the missing work ethic of people today)
Then again on some days I think that little job is what gets him up in the morning.
A feeling of purpose and a place to be. Retirement never really sat well for my father.
He didn't have hobbies except for golf. He hurt his shoulder and after that he couldn't play much. So aside from cocktails there isn't a lot of things he likes to do.
Once his favorite brother died and all his friends had passed he really has seemed like he didn't know what to do with himself.
In that sense Wal-Mart has been a blessing for him.
But some times I just wish he would or could take it easy. 

My mom has already booked me solid. I have a schedule whether I want it or not.
Sometimes when I go up to my hometown I don't tell them for a few days so I can visit friends and see others outside of my family. But it will be a whirlwind trip this time with family, family, family.

I will either come home with a lot of fun stories or I'll be writing from my rehab facility for alcohol issues. Either way it's blog fodder.

I am picking up my niece in Pittsburgh. She is in grad school there. 
I will be picking her up from work and then we'll continue north to Erie PA for a cold weekend.  My mom has called in the sisters and nieces and we will be drinking and baking cookies together on Saturday. Now in all seriousness this can be a lot of fun or this could go terribly awry.  I am praying for the first one.  You just never know though what will happen.

In the mean time I can now lift my arms again. Yep, just in time to shovel in some chocolate right? 

p.s. I went to the gym this morning at 4:50am. I can't believe I'm doing this either. My arms better be rockin' by memorial day damn it.

Sad sad day for me.

I am in mourning!

Ah shit.

I know it was bound to happen but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
My boyfriend is dating someone. He has been dating her for 7 months.
That is a long time for my boyfriend.
How dare he! I am waiting here.

This is the wench he is dating.
How can a mere mortal woman even compete?
Yes and they appear to be real too if you know what I mean.
I hope she's at least dumb as a box of rocks.

I have to go sew a black arm band onto my clothing now and cry.
Jerry how could you?

Gym

The only reason I can type is because I can rest my wrists and arms on the keyboard desk hand/arm rest thingy or else I wouldn't be able to do this either.
Seriously I am sore.
I am pathetic as well. I joined a gym willingly.
What the hell is wrong with me?

I have 6 months to get into this great dress I had to buy for my step daughters wedding.
She told me the color family she wanted me in. Check
She told me that she didn't care if it were full length or cocktail length. Check
It is her day so I am abided by her wishes.
I am not a huge fan of the color but it works with my coloring.
However all these damn dresses are sleeveless. What the hell is up with that?
Even with a shawl, my big ole arms are exposed.
The problem with this is that I do not have great looking Michelle Obama arms.
I covet her arms!

I am struggling with a lot of the work out.
However, it is the strong concentration on my arms that is causing me the most pain because I told them my goal.
I'd bitch slap myself if I could lift my arms.

Do you know how heavy a glass of wine is?
Lifting is easier than bringing it towards my mouth though.
My biceps are burning. Hell everything is burning except my legs.
From my hips up I am in pain.

This weekend I couldn't even pour it for myself - Rick did it for me.
I asked for a straw so I didn't have lift the big ole wine glass.
Rick was my task master telling me to lift, sip, and down, lift, sip and down.
It made me laugh - my trainer for drinking.
Everyone should have one.

I meet a friend at the gym who is so far ahead of me. If I did her workout I'd die.
No exaggeration, I would fall over and die. I aspire to be her someday. I fear it's a long long day away though.

My upper body is so weak that I am sure if you came by and slapped me today I would just stand there and take it. I couldn't hit you back unless I used my strangely strong legs.

When I got back to the house this morning Rick was leaving.
He went to give me a hug and I just slammed my head into his chest and kept my arms down by my side. He laughs. I am not seeing the humor just yet.

Ever see that scene from The Carol Burnett Show when the dentist stabs himself with novocaine?
His arms are all loosey goosey and he can't lift them? Well that is my situation exactly.
Only without the novocaine......I would sure like the novocaine all over!
I think my best look today is going to be horizontal.

Latest Internet Photo

I am sure by now you have all seen the photo of the NYC policeman who bought boots and thermal socks for a homeless man sitting on the street with no shoes or socks.
If not here is the photo.  Apparently a tourist from Arizona saw the exchange and it moved her enough to take a photo. Her father was a policeman and it reminded her of her fathers kindness.

When we first moved to this area we had never seen such poverty and homelessness as we saw in the District. The first time going to the District we were overcome with such a sad and heavy feeling. I remember the day so clearly. We were driving on route 1 from Maryland to the District and it was dirty and dilapidated and some of it was "slum like".
I mean that like what I would see on television.

We knew poor but this was a level we didn't see a lot of.
We both worked at the city mission in my hometown but seriously we had never seen this many and this kind of poverty.
Hell Rick grew up so poor that most would be shocked at what his life was like but poor is different than this type of poverty....beyond poor.
But he had a roof over his head and warm meals and a loving family.
Not meals or a home that most of us are used to but in comparison, he was very rich.
And as he likes to say, his family was rich in the important ways.
In comparison to Rick's life I was rich and so very lucky.

We had been living in Seattle where everything was new and clean in comparison.
They have homeless in Pioneer Square at the time but they tried to hide "them"
This was out in the open and on that drive we were both so quiet.
It hit us like a ton of bricks. The first thing that went through my mind after we drove through all this was that this was our nation's capital. People from all over the world come here to visit and this is what they see. This is what we can't control, fix, or help it seems.
It was an overwhelming sadness for us both. That rattled us so much that we have never stopped talking about it. This picture and the news of this picture began the conversation again over the last couple of days.

We moored our boat on the Potomac before we had the lake house.
We would drive this beautiful drive from Virginia into the District on the way to the boat. (20 minutes)
On the way we would see this woman who lived under a bridge in D.C.
One day we had a cooler of a couple of sandwiches, fruit and wine for our day on the water.

When we were at a traffic light Rick rolled down his window and gave a homeless woman our sandwiches. Her face lit up and she thanked us profusely. 
As we drove away he looked at me and said, "Sorry but we can buy something at the market if we get hungry okay?"  I was so fine with that.

He went fishing a great deal without me. I would make him some lunch and off he'd go.
One day he was making a couple of sandwiches for himself and I said to him, "Boy you're really hungry today huh?"  He said, "No I like to give one to Trish." 

"Trish?" I ask.  Hmmm......is this a boat slut hanging out at the marina I wondered?
He said, "Trish is the woman who lives under the bridge we gave a sandwich to a long time ago remember? I give her food all the time."

"What do you mean all the time?"

"Sometimes I pick up some hot coffee and a egg mcmuffin in the morning as I go to the boat.
I figure if I can afford a boat I can buy her a warm breakfast."

I asked him how long he has been doing this deed.
He told me ever since that first day. She began to just wave to him and smile.
"One day I asked her how she was doing and she said she was fine and that she liked seeing me because I didn't look away. That sentence haunts me a bit Margaret. Maybe guilt who knows but I figure if I can afford a boat, mooring and gas I can give her some food"

As time went on she began to tell him her story of why she was homeless. He didn't think she had a mental illness and he was right. It was sad and I won't share that with you today.  It bothered him when she wouldn't take money so he would feed her. Ah, my big Guy who was raised by an Italian woman. He was taught food is love and that was what he was doing for Trish. Ya gotta love him for that, I know I sure do.

One day after work I was standing at the kitchen island reading our mail.
Rick walked in with a bag from Target. That was not unusual at all.
He put the bag on the island and went into the powder room.
I yelled, "what did you buy?"  But he didn't hear me.
I assumed some fishing lures, some of his favorite socks or underwear or work items.
I opened the bag and there were female heavy duty socks, woman's size small thermal underwear and gloves. Now I don't wear a small. So you know where my mind went.

He walks out of the bathroom and I say, "Women's clothing in small Rick? Something you want to tell me?"
He laughs and said I bought them for Trish, winter is here and she has no warm clothes.
I hugged him. I loved him for this.
I asked if she told him that and he said no but I saw her the other day and she looked like she was freezing.

So that Saturday as he left to go fishing he brought her breakfast and the new clothes.
She wouldn't take them. She began to cry. He told her it meant a lot to him if she would just be safe and warm. She hugged him for a long time. She was dirty and smelled awful he later said to me but he took the payment of a hug. When he got to the boat he called me to tell me all of this.

The last time we saw here I went to the boat with Rick. I made a package of dry shampoo, soap, toothbrush/paste, face/body cream (she's outside her skin gets dry), and some feminine products including ibuprofen should she have cramps or a headache. I gave them to her when Rick was looking the other way on purpose. I told her if she doesn't need them then to give them to another person who may. As she looked through the bag she was silent. Then she hugged me so tight I thought I was going to be suffocated. Finally, when she pulled away she whispered, oh this is so needed thank you so much. And she hugged me again. I asked if she needed anything. she said she was just fine and smiled a big smile. I worried that her coat wasn't going to last another season. 

We got our home at the lake shortly thereafter so we moved our boat to our lake house.
We didn't drive by that bridge/Trish's home, anymore.
We think about her and we wonder if she is okay, warm and safe.
The last time we went into the District we went that way just to see if she still "lives" under that bridge. She was not there.  We hope it's because she is warm and safe, maybe in a shelter or home now. I like to be Pollyanna and believe that something wonderful happened to her. I don't like to think of the reality of it all.

There was a man who was shall we say, not running on all cylinders, who hung out at the train station in the district. He kept to himself but you knew. Every week when I would go to NYC for work he would wave to me. He never had on shoes or socks. It was winter and he had a hat, coat and scarf but his hands and feet were bare. Then one day he had on a bright white pair of socks. It made me smile. No shoes you see but bright white socks that were obviously new. This man would wave to us all as we boarded a 6am train. He would wave to us like he was our family waving goodbye. I knew he was not mentally well but he seemed so happy. One day he asked me for money to buy some food.
I told him I would buy him food but not give him money. So we went to McDonald's and I bought him breakfast. I told him to get anything he wanted. He was funny. He bought egg mcmuffin, pancakes, hash browns, scrambled eggs, coffee and on and on. He picked up his tray loaded with just about everything on their breakfast menu and went far away from me and inhaled his food. He never said a word to me. He looked up at me at one point and then just kept inhaling his food.

Oh this beautiful train station of ours had a lot of homeless people living there.
I think this train station is so damn pretty but like everything else there is an ugly side.
I was always there by 5:30a to catch my train.
I would use the rest room and there was a woman who was "bathing" at the sink.
She had a bag of Noxzema and other toiletries. She was rubbing the Noxzema on her face.
I remember the Noxzema because the smell brought back memories of my youth.
(I didn't know they still made it!)
I went to wash my hands and she yelled at me with her arms stretched out over two sinks- "you can't use these, these are my sinks - don't touch my stuff you understand?"
I did indeed I told her. I washed my hands a few sinks down. She wouldn't take her eyes off me. She really thought I wanted her toiletries. I basically ran out of there.

As I rode into Manhattan I thought about her. She too didn't seem quite right mentally but at least she was cleaning herself up the best she could.
I always wonder if I could survive all of that life?
Do they have hope? Does hope help you go on?
If they are bipolar or worse, do they realize their situation, or are they happy there? How did they get there?
So many questions and obviously so few answers.

Makes me thankful.

Sign Language

Rick and I were trying to remember some of our American Sign Language last night.
We took classes and used it a great deal when we owned a cookie company.
We had a customer who was so excited one day when she came in with her friends and I could sign to them. They thanked me. 
It made me really see how much they miss out on as far as a community outside of a deaf one. We would get a lot of relay calls from the deaf and on one of them, I told them that we could sign if they wished to come into the store. That began the deaf community spending a lot of money with us. That was never our plan. Our plan was that it was probably something we should just know. We also thought it would be fun to know.

After a few classes, Rick was able to help a man who had fallen in a grocery store and was very hurt. 
As he was passing out he hit his head on a freezer. 
When he came to no one could communicate with him.
Rick was so pleased with himself that he could talk to him and relay to the manager and paramedics.
All the employees at the store just yelled or spoke so much louder.
It's funny if it weren't so sad. He's deaf, yelling won't help him hear you dip shit. 
It's just natural to do that. Just like when you smell something burning or odd in your car and you turn down the radio.
C'mon admit it, you've done that before.

We were taken on a field trip by our instructor to a place called the Silent Club. It was a club of deaf people. 
They had a speaker there and at the end they applauded.
I admit I didn't "catch" all of the discussion. My God, they do that quickly was my first thought. But I understood most and I was thrilled I got any of it at that point.
That was also the first time I saw their "applause"  
At first, it struck me as odd.
But dumb ole Margaret then realized that they would not hear anything if one were to clap their hands together. You see if you don't know this like I didn't, their version of clapping is putting their hands in the air with arms at their sides and using their hands and fingers almost like a clap. 
I found this whole field trip exciting and fun. 
And it made me think about things I never thought about like how alienated they must feel most of the time in a hearing world.

One time for a class project we had to go to dinner and only sign. 
We were concerned about this exercise for many reasons. 
We had to go to dinner and only sign all night. 
We weren't worried about the signing but about another deaf person seeing us and if we made mistakes or if they thought we were making fun of them because we were so much slower - that type of thing. 
Seriously we were so slow they may have thought we were mentally challenged.

Can I tell you how hard it is not to laugh when the waitress begins to talk louder and louder? We had to not look at one another or we'd have lost it.
We signed to one another but pointed to the menu for our waitress.
She continued to speak to us very loudly. It was hard not to chuckle.

The couple that was seated a few minutes after us were to my direct right.
The woman went on and on about how sad it was that we were deaf.
Her husband told her it was no big deal because they both are deaf so they could talk to one another. Then the woman spotted my shoes. 

She LOVED my shoes. She coveted my shoes. 

That was all she could talk about. 
She wanted to know where I got them. Do you think I could write her a note and ask her?  Do you think that would be offensive? My God those shoes are cute.....and on and on.
Sadly I could hear. She was annoying the shit out of me if I am being honest.

Rick and I made it through our evening signing. We tried very hard not to laugh at people and the things we could hear them say about us. Amazing. They just assumed we both could not hear. We could have been like our ASL instructor who is a hearing person married to a deaf person. The cool thing about our instructor was that she taught us bad words as well. For some reason, I have remembered all of those. I think that says something about me and it's not necessarily good now, is it?

As we were leaving the restaurant I leaned over her table and said, "I got my shoes at Bakers at the mall" and I smiled.
The look on her face was priceless. I turned and walked away.
Looking back now I think that was mean of me to do. 
Very much fun at the time but maybe not so very nice of me.

Rick and I don't use it much and we have lost so much of it from lack of use.
But we still have been in situations where we have used it. 
A rock concert was one. We went to see Aerosmith. The opening band was Skid Row. We couldn't have cared less about Skid Row, we were there for Aerosmith. It was so loud and the kids in front of us were doing their head-banging thing. My husband said to me, "How do they not have a headache after all that headbanging?"  
I couldn't hear a word he said. I kept saying, WHAT? 

So he began signing what he was trying to say. We continued to sign because it was easier than screaming over the band. When the opening band was done the lights came up and everyone was talking and now we could hear them. We heard the kids say behind us, "why would old deaf people go to a concert?"  The kids behind us were screaming their entire conversation about us and it was hard NOT to hear. 
Rick did turn to them to tell them we were not deaf, possibly old (late 30's at the time)  but it was hard to talk with the band playing and we thought it was a good idea. They laughed and said "cool man" So they were not offended. I think they were so stoned nothing would have bothered them. 😉

We've signed at a bar a couple of times to get the hell out of there when one of us is across the room or when we can't hear one another. We have been in social situations and done it as well. We've even made a couple of signs up incorporating a couple of words that of course just make us laugh!

But last night Rick asked about the sign for something and I couldn't remember.  That really bothered us both. 

Why did we let this go by the wayside?
Could we do this again at this age?
We are both losing our hearing so it may be something we want to look into.
Although he insists he can hear just fine. 
Yet when I speak he hears nothing.
He tells me that is because I am white noise. Nice.

Do they have Rosetta Stone for American Sign Language?

Books, Books, Books

I was tired of the wait list at the library (I was #99) so I broke down and got myself a couple of books. Nothing better than a couple days off and reading!

The first book was highly recommended to me by several people.
Where'd you go, Bernadette was the name of the book I just read.
This is not a review of this book!

This book was humorous, strange, engrossing and at first a bit confusing.
I believe it's fair to say that this book was like no other that I have read in a long time.
It began with letters. It was written with the characters emails or letters.
I admit I was a bit confused at first. Who is this person and why does she write to her?
That type of thing. But after a couple pages I got the rhythm and I was sucked into this world.

One of the main character's was a genius architect and she had moved to Seattle with her family. To say that Bernadette was quirky is such an understatement.
However, I loved her for all her quirkiness!
Some things were cringe worthy. Some just damn funny, some spot on.
Her observations of Seattle made me laugh and yet feel uncomfortable at the same time.
I grinned while reading that she hated the "Seattle Freeze". 
Oh how I knew that about the people there. It was the prefect phrase for them.
When she spoke of frivolous things like how difficult it is to get a good haircut in Seattle I laughed out loud. When the character spoke of the only 2 haircuts you see in Seattle I found myself nodding my head. Then when she wrote about how poorly they drive in Seattle I had to read this aloud to Rick as we nodded our head in agreement. It went on and on like that laced through the book.

Everything this character wrote about the city and people of Seattle I understood to my core.
It was actually a bit of a validation to me to know those things weren't just how I felt when I lived there. Others knew this too. Yet it also made me uncomfortable because when I lived there I was so miserable because of the things this main character talks about that I had that same sick in my stomach feeling reliving my life there. I was a square Peg in a round hole when I lived in Seattle.

I looked at the book cover to see if there was any information about this author. I was shocked to see she lived there. I found it hard to believe she would have been that observant to all those things if she had grown up there. So I googled her.  Oh no, she was not from the area. She lives there now and teaches writing at UW. She is a screenwriter of movies you've heard of and seen as well as TV shows you've watched.

This quirky book was entertaining and surprisingly validating.
How often do you get that in a book?
I'm off to read book number two of four.