Happy Thanksgiving

 

Random Goings On

I think you all know when I'm not around I'm having a difficult time.

Yesterday and today are pretty darn good so I am attempting to move about the world and do what I can. 

While being in a prone position I saw a bit of TV.

Granted can't always focus but enough to notice a few things.

I watch 2 shows that are not American. They are Irish and British.  

I know it is said they speak English.  

But, let's face it, there is a big difference between English and American.  

I learn a lot, sort of like Rosetta Stone for TV dummies. 

I must use the closed captions as well. 

I love the show Bad Sisters. I learned the word Gee means vagina.

Who knew? I heard the line spoken and didn't get it, so I just shrugged and continued with the show. Then I saw the lead actress and writer of the show, Sharon Horgan, who is marvelous, on the Stephen Colbert show. 

She explained some of the Irish words in the show and what they meant. Oh my goodness. And they toss around the C word like it's just a fun word like balloon. It makes me laugh.

Then there is the British Baking Show. Ooh, I love this show a great deal.

But half the time I have no idea what they are baking by the word used until I see it. I wish there were translation subtitles. Then I see the dessert and go, Oh that's just cream puffs. Rick asked, 'Why do they say sponge, that sounds so unappetizing'

I explained it was not a kitchen sponge, it was cake. They say, sponge when they mean the cake itself. He shook his head and left the room.

So who says I'm not doing anything? I got myself some TV learnin'.

Similar to book learnin' but for dummies.

So many of you mentioned what would happen if I had said on my mental assessment that I was not happily married. I guess they'd let me die.

No, . seriously I think it may have been about my care after surgery. They kept asking me about my support system. It's Rick and sadly only Rick. So maybe they thought he'd off me while defenseless if unhappily married. Who the hell knows?!

I have not watched the news since November 5th. 

Gee, is anything new going on?

🤣🤣

Mental Assessment

While they are trying different things on me like a guinea pig I had to have a mental assessment for getting a spinal cord stimulator.

I do not understand why, and apparently no one else does, because when I ask, I am met with gibberish, and their eyes dart away.

Then I was told this was necessary for Medicare, so I had to have an assessment for whatever reason.

Rick told me to say and do all the opposite of my natural instincts.

He was giving me scenarios of things I would answer but only in the bubble above my head. I am mature enough to not say those things in polite society.  But oh he was making me laugh, he knows me too well.

Then in all seriousness, he asks me, "Isn't this on video/zoom kind of thing?"  

I said it was.

He said, "Oh, then you'll be fine, with a wave of his hand as if to dismiss me. You look like a person in extreme pain if they don't give you a yes then they are blind and mean."

Thanks?

I had my damn assessment and the questions were weird. 

My favorite was.  "Are you happily married?"

"Yes, I am happily married." 

"Is my husband happily married?" 

"Yes."  

I burst out laughing and she smiled and said, "Is that funny?"  

"Yes, you ask me if I am happy and then if my husband is as if you expect a different answer and I did indeed find that funny. And YES he too is happily married." 

I so wanted to add, 'because I told him he was happy.' 

But again I refrained. She laughed and said, "I see that but I have to ask."

The whole thing was just damn weird. At the end of these stupid questions,

she said she saw no reason I wasn't a great candidate for the surgery. And she gave me a thumbs-up. Hopefully, the approval will be sent to Dr. Li and then I see what is next.  

One of these things has got to work right?

Au Pairs and Nails

 I've mentioned in the blog that I have a love for Dateline, 48hrs, Crime Shows of most varieties. I have also mentioned here how I sometimes watch the DC local news channel 4 just to see what is happening back "home"

I have been following this story up there about an au pair/nanny and her employer killing the wife/mom of this household. It's now unfolded to be the au pair was having an affair with the husband. There is this whole story unfolding regarding who stabbed who, the innocent handyman they called in and killed to make it look like he was the killer, etc. They aren't telling us everything because the husband will be on trial soon. The au pair has already been convicted I think. It's a crazy story.

I said to Rick this is going to be a Dateline episode you wait and see. 

I think it will be on one of those shows very soon. 

This takes place in Herndon, VA in Fairfax County.

This was next door to us when we lived up there. 

When we first moved there, everyone we met had an au pair. I remember coming home from a neighborhood get-together while we were all brand new in this community. The community was still being developed and some of the first people living there had a community center gathering to meet their neighbors.  I told Rick that all the women were sharing au pair information, such as what agency, what country, etc.  "What the hell is an au pair, but a nanny, right?"  He said he thought so. So we concluded that we were the white trash from the other side of the tracks who say, nanny and would use neither.

We had a good laugh about that.

I assumed an au pair was cheaper because it's a young person coming to a new country.  It reminded me of a foreign exchange student. But boy these women hiring sounded dreadful to us. I wouldn't wish to work for them.  

I want to call these girls and say - run, run for your life!

We just laughed it off. 

Now an au pair in Herndon has done the thinkable. C'mon, my old hairdresser's au pair ran off with her husband. Seems to be the thinkable vs unthinkable. But killing one's employer I would definitely say falls under unthinkable!

Look for this on a soon-to-be broadcast on Dateline, 48 Hrs, 20/20 etc.

In other news I think about that is totally useless- I saw this woman Sunday on CBS Sunday Mornings. Please tell me how one does anything with these nails. She reminded us of a woman we knew who worked at a bank.

I was watching this woman, Cynthia Erivo, who plays the bad witch in Wicked. She was talking using her hands and I heard nothing. I could only focus on those talons. Wolverine like nails. I do not get the appeal.

How do you take care of yourself in the bathroom? How do you do your makeup and not poke an eye out? How do you open anything, type, etc.

Do not drop anything because you won't be able to pick it up. 

I do not understand the appeal because it doesn't look pretty either. 

But that is me and my preference.

In 1989 there was a woman who always helped Rick at his bank. 

He talked about her super-long nails all the time, he was fascinated. 

Oh, not by her nails looking so nice, but by how she could do anything with those on the tips of her fingers. He was fascinated by how she handled the money and coins. He would ask me things all the time. Things I could not answer or didn't wish to.

One day he asked her, "How do you wipe yourself with those nails?"

I turned and walked out of the bank. I was mortified.

Thankfully this woman laughed a big loud hearty laugh and said, "No one has ever asked that but they dance around it."

OMG, she kept laughing. Then she said, "It's easy"  That was her answer.

Good for her. That shut up Rick.

When Rick got to the car I told him I could kill him. He told me how she laughed. I said I heard it as I was getting to the door. He said she wasn't angry and repeated it all to me 

I'd have scratched his eyes out. What a rude friggin' question. To him, it was, "inquiring minds wanna know"  No, inquiring minds need to keep it all to themselves.

Oh Boy!

This was sent to me by a friend in Europe. (a previous boss)

Happy Weekend.

Black Wednesday

Voting

The lines for voting on the days of Early Voting were very long lines, people spoke about being there for an hour or more. I knew Rick could not stand for 1 hr comfortably and neither could I.  So the poles opened at 6:30a. I wanted to be there at 6:30.  Rick did not share my concern.

I was ready to go and he was moseying around.  In other words, driving me crazy.

C'mon, I kept yelling. Then I opened the back door - I could not see my garage or my car in the driveway. For that matter, the table and furniture on my back deck I could not see because the fog was so heavy and dense. Rather cool to see it like a cloud over my patio especially if I didn't need to find my car and drive somewhere.

Now normally I love fog if I'm at home and don't need to fly or drive. 

But not today I cried to the heavens.

So back in the house, we decided to go. No sense in killing ourselves.

We waited until 8am. It was somewhat foggy but overall it was driveable.

Rick reminded me if we couldn't drive others couldn't either so the lines will be short. He was right.

We get there and a woman immediately comes to our car and asks if we would like a republican ballot to review. I said, "Good Morning. No, I think I'm fine"

She turned around and said to another person doing this type of work, "I have a feeling everyone is gonna be fine."  Not 100% sure what she meant. We have a couple ideas, it was just weird. Otherwise, all the people who spoke to us were great and I was impressed.  

We get inside and do our civic duty. We get home, have a second cup of coffee, and now anxiously await. I fear the next few days.

I saw a meme which of course I can't find now, but essentially it stated that the last time the LA Dodgers won the World Series that donald trump lost an election. 

If true, hell it was so worth my team chocking. 

Gym

Rick was at the gym on Monday. He said it was crowded with a lot of new faces.

As he was getting to his favorite machine a young man asked him if he could ask him a question. Rick said sure. (TYM = the young man)

Looking at Rick's T-shirt he asked, "When did you have your stroke, sir?" 

Rick: 18 months ago.

TYM:  Wow, you're doing great. I've been watching you. Squeeze my fingers.

Rick: laughs but damn if he doesn't do it.  He said I thought maybe he was going to fart like a squeeze-my-finger joke. 

TYM:  Wow you have got great strength. BTW, I am a cardiologist working at XYZ. 18 months huh? Good job at getting your strength back.  

Rick: It's why I come here. Now if only the left leg would cooperate.  

TYM:  Hey you are doing great, just keep it up. 

And he walked away.

Rick said it was such a weird exchange but the young man was nice. Rick referred to him as a kid as he was telling me this but when he said he was a cardiologist (albeit new) He couldn't be that young....just to us older folks.

He does meet some doozies at the gym. But overall he loves everyone he comes in contact with. They yell his name in the front when he walks in like it's cheers. Yes, these are all women who do this.  The women all flirt and tell him he's looking good and that type of thing. Last week they gave him treats. Told him not to tell anyone where he got the brownies.  Even at age 69 he has women flirting with him. Just like I used to see in 1987 when he was single and just my friend.

Honestly.  🤭

My Husband has begun sending me Memes

We changed all the clocks except this big one in the living room/entry area.

It's very large and heavy. Then we had to move all the furniture in front of it. Oh, what a royal pain. I have one arm and Rick has one good arm so we tried our damnst and we laughed a lot but didn't get the damn things down to change.

As we were repositioning ourselves, Rick suggested we just know it's an hour ahead and leave it for spring when we change the clocks back it will be perfect.  I laughed and gave up with him. I really thought if we just lifted the bottom I could reach the thingy to change the time. I couldn't and I couldn't hold it alone to have Rick do it. It was honestly all comedy at this point. 

So now we have to remember it's an hour ahead and you know we won't and there could be issues. I will try this clock again when Rick isn't home. When he goes to his workshop I may try it by myself.  He gets so frustrated of late so I'm going to try and hope I don't break this big clock.

Speaking of ole Rick he sent me this last night after I fell asleep. 

My husband loves to send me reels.

I saw it this morning and it made me laugh.

Gee, I think I need a nap. :-)

He sent me this one with a note that said, "Hey they know us!"

I couldn't disagree. 

I said is this your way of late of saying sweet nothings? 

It's not working buddy.

He laughed and said, "No, but c'mon is this not you and me?" 

"Yes, I guess so."

So now I need a meme that says the happiest women are the ones married to a man who is beyond the definition of stubborn, has severe honking/clearing throat issues that drive his partner bonkers, and thinks he is funnier than he is.  He nodded and said, "Damn right"  Okay glad we squared that away.

Clocks and Memes

Now that I no longer have a dog changing the clocks isn't as difficult for me.

But I still don't think it needs to be done. I wish it would stop.

Don't forget to turn those clocks back!

November already

 Well, I'm back

..tee hee

One of my hubbies crushes. 

It's 5am and I can't sleep. I am not in pain. Well, I have pain but on a scale of 1-10, it's only a 4. I can live my life with a 4. No, just can't sleep. Took my pills before bed thinking it may help me sleep but no it did not. I rolled over, removed Rick's arm, and made my way into the kitchen.

I emptied the dishwasher and washed some dishes. The fun things one does when not in pain. Rick has picked up the slack and honestly makes more work for me but I am not saying a word. He is trying. I just do it when he isn't in the room so he doesn't feel bad. But some days I have to say something like where the hell is the platter we like for the BBQ? 

As I have shared here before. When we lived in that haunted house I just couldn't do that basement. I never felt alone. Neither did he. But he was braver than me and would go down there. I'd hear him talking to "them"

I told him if he did the laundry while in this house that when we moved I would do the laundry for the rest of his life. I've kept my promise until we moved here. First, it was chemo that made me so weak and tired. He was running out of underwear and did a load. I lifted my head from the bed and said, "I'm sorry" 

Then he did a load of laundry and forgot to put it in the dryer. When he remembered they were stinky as you know they get after sitting in the washer for 2 days. So he learned his lesson, now that he is doing them all over again. He came and told me this one and I laughed.  Oh, I've done it before, it's okay. Then he left a load in the dryer for days. They were so wrinkled and he came into the room and said to me while holding his T-shirt. Do you iron my T-shirts?  Heaven's no I tell him. He asked what my secret was for them always being smooth out of the dryer. Ah, I see what you did. How long were they in the dryer? 3 days he tells me while squinting. He knew that was it. I said they get wrinkled with just sitting in a pile. You have to take them out when that damn bill dings. Oh, he says. Well, I am well enough now so I will do all the laundry and if I need you to lift something up I will ask okay? Deal!

All of that is fine. But the kitchen and the bathroom he is clueless and blind.

He makes a PB&J and then leaves the PB on the cutting board. Then he leaves the jelly on the counter and the mess he has made along with the knife he used. He then got himself a cup of ice water and he got water everywhere (an issue with our shitty ice machine) But does he clean it up?

No, he rubs it with his sock. 

I walk into the kitchen and see everything everywhere so I put it away.  

I see the spices on the counter and wonder why he didn't put those away from last night's dinner?  I can't reach this so I get my stool and I step up there and he comes in yelling at me. I told him I was just putting them away.

"Oh yeah", he laughs.  Then the dishwasher. He unloaded it. 

Ah, you are all saying how wonderful that he does that. No. No, it's not wonderful, then we play Find Where Rick put the bowls, platters, zester etc. The cheese grater was nowhere to be found. When you ask Rick where he puts them he says he doesn't know. He has dishwasher amnesia. Yes, google it, it's a thing. (that I made up) 

After he cooks dinner because he has been making dinner more, he shows the world what we've had. Salt on the counter, the range, the floor, the island. Sauce spilled on the floor and the mat in front of the oven. 

Over by the island, the floor is littered with all the ingredients in his meal. 

If this was Crime Scene Kitchen like the TV show, everyone can figure out what he made by the mess all over the kitchen. This is when I missed my hoover, Izzy. She would be on all that dropped cheese, bread crumbs etc on the floor. Now I have to sweep and clean.

The bathroom is a new one. He used to get so angry at "all my shit" on the counter in the bathroom. So when we redid the bathroom I suggested we got for a dresser with all drawers. That is what we did. We cut the legs and after the framing, you would never know. It was perfect. A drawer for even my blow dryer. NOTHING on the counter but my toothbrush and soap etc.

He was so happy. We all had a place for our things. 

Now we have a shitty vanity in the master. 3 drawers and those dreaded deep caves that hold things that you can't get to. It becomes the dark abyss. I do not like these cupboards in the bathroom. I need drawers!

(I bought a pottery barn dresser that was dented on the side, It was so cheap and we knew that it would be against a wall so it wouldn't be seen and not damaged enough to cause any issue except the store couldn't sell like this so they sold it at a Walmart price which was perfect.)

So now that I have a New Rick his side of the vanity is overtaking mine. 

I went into the bathroom a few days ago to brush my teeth and hardly had room. I took a picture and went into the kitchen and showed him. He laughed and said," I've turned into you"  I pointed to my side of the vanity. He said, "Well you have turned into old me."  

Then there is the garbage can in the bathroom. He changed the toilet paper and put the old empty roll ON TOP OF THE GARBAGE CAN. There is a foot pedal to open it. It's not hard. You don't even need to get your pretty little hands dirty mister. I left the roll there to see how long this would sit there before my head exploded. Several days later it's still there but now with an empty floss container added to the top of the can. That did it. 

I put them INSIDE the garage can. Then I asked Rick what was so hard about putting the toilet paper roll IN the can instead of On it. He said he didn't even realize. WHAT? Now he begins to laugh which infuriates me and he says, "Well I've had a stroke" and he laughs more.

I told him that was a year ago, and not buying that anymore for excuses mister.

This new Messy Marvin Rick is so annoying. Oh the kitchen stuff is just as he was before the stroke, it's just worse. But messy Rick is new. There are so many things that are different since the stroke. He realizes them as well. Especially his food. What he loved he doesn't anymore. 

I am happy to have him alive. So Rick 2.5 is a man I need to learn.

ADD alone is new and wow how people deal with that one, it's tough.

We can be talking and then it's like Squirrel. 

We talk a lot about what he is feeling etc. We get down and dirty with the changes and discuss how he feels because I want to understand.

His physical issues bother him but his cognitive issues bother him far more.

He sent me a meme from his stroke survivor group and he said, this is how my brain feels a good deal of time. After he sent this I cut off the top of the heading but you get the idea.

I see him working hard to adjust so I try to do the same.

As long as we keep laughing about it all we'll be okay I think

He knows he frustrates me and I know he gets frustrated for the way he now thinks. So we just keep talking so we understand how this all makes us feel and then how to deal with it the best we can. For us, it tends to be laughter but not always. But God how laughing at yourself is healing.

Oh and before you ask me why Rick 2.5 and not 2.0 allow me to explain.  

My first husband was named Rick (high school sweetheart) so my family always called this Rick, Rick 2.0.  The new updated version and he'd laugh. 

My father thanked me so he didn't have to learn another man's name (having 5 daughters was daunting to the man, he didn't get the names right for his daughters so...) 

So now I call him Rick 2.5 because he is a helluva lot different than Rick 2.0. But the essence of Rick is still there. So I'd say I was blessed.