I'm a Damn Olympian

 Some items said and done this past week in our home that I found humorous. So humor me and read on.

If you recall Rick made the proclamation before his stroke that he was no longer bending. Of course, I just laughed.  The other day he had something fall under the kitchen island. He said nothing and when I heard him moan. He pointed to the item. I burst out laughing. I suggested he do it like this...

I show him how to do it but I did not pick it up.

He immediately laughs and says, "I'm gonna pretend I didn't just learn that."(smirks at me) 

Honestly, he is a fool. 

He has been having some really bad pain ever since his pacemaker. Pain that causes lack of sleep etc. Pain that makes him moan all damn day.

The pain is at his shoulder around the pacemaker. 

He was struggling to get his shirt off before bed the other night. 

I suggested he try it this way, as I show him, it will work for you much easier. 

He is sitting on the end of the bed just thinking about what I said I assumed.

He then responded with, "Yeah but then, no one's gonna scratch my back and kiss me after it comes off if I do it myself."  OMG.  

I said, "Listen buddy you can do this and I'm not falling for that helpless shit."

"Well, my next wife is going to be dumb so I can get away with more shit."

Good Luck with that babe.

My Olympic Event - Simone Biles eat your heart out.

Had to go to the ortho doctor on Wednesday.

As I was waiting I asked the nurse if there was a bathroom I could use before the doctor came into the room.

She opened the door and pointed to the door across from the nurse's station.

I walked into the bathroom and laughed out loud. 

I prayed they didn't hear me. 

But I felt like I had to be Simone Biles to get on this toilet.

Now I have seen raised toilet seats, my mom has one. 

But this was double in height of that one. 

It was like 2 or 3 elevated seats on top of one another. 

I was about to pee my pants and had to figure out how I was going to get on this apparatus without a step stool. Sadly I'm a gigglier so I am in there just laughing and cracking myself up. Oh, how I wish I had my phone so y'all could see this thing.  And I hope they can't hear me laughing.

I thought, "Do I back up and run like jumping a pummel horse?"

Well, I got up there and my feet didn't even go over the toilet bowl to dangle. Try peeing like that will ya. Try peeing while you're laughing this hard. Not as easy as it sounds.

After I did my business I had to have the perfect dismount. 

I jumped and I felt like I had to put both arms in the air (like a td) and see what the judges were going to give me. I think it was a solid 9.  All while grabbing my underwear and the lovely paper shorts they give you and jumping down. Yep, I'm an Olympian all right!