Wifey

I guess I need to backtrack.
I thought I had told all of this but apparently, I am wrong.
I received several emails yesterday asking me about Gary's wife.

Gary was single when he came to work for us.
He had moved in with this crazy woman named Broomhilda. Okay, that isn't her name it is what he calls her. They hadn't been living together long before he began to work here.

He mentioned one day to Rick that he was looking for a new place because he needed to be away from her. He said, "She is a psychopath. I am seeing sides of her that scare me. I just need to get out"

Fast forward 2 weeks and he texts me at 3am. I am not up.
He calls at 5:30a, I am up. He is crying. I asked if he was okay. I knew it was his birthday the day before and I was thinking he was drunk or hurt or something along those lines.
He said, "She just told me she is 3.5 months pregnant and laughed. What the hell am I going to do? I haven't slept all night. I hate her." waa waa waa
Told him to get his shit together and don't come into work today but ready for the next day.

He is so not happy about having a child with this woman but then he shouldn't have had sex or worn a condom. He came to work the next day on time apologizing. I asked if they were keeping the baby.  Yes. She has been pregnant for 3 1/2 months and she did not share this with him until his birthday. She called it his gift. Knowing full well he did not want a child. Anyone want to try to convince me she didn't do this all on purpose because she felt she may be losing him?  Yeah, I thought so.

She has the baby and then hands it to him and says, "I don't want to deal with him."  Gary is over the moon with his son. She does nothing with the boy.
He bathes, feeds, clothes, plays, pays for daycare etc. He takes him to the pumpkin farm, alone. She has nothing to do with the baby except to hold it over Gary's head. He has to rearrange his life for the baby and she does nothing. Gary gets paid by what he does. He doesn't work he doesn't get paid, hence why last year he only made 60K. She works in a government position and shops all day online and makes 80K a year. She does not pick up the baby at daycare or drop off. (they didn't know there was a mommy in the picture until the kid was 1 yr old) 

If the baby is sick instead of mom taking one of her paid sick days, Gary must stay and take care of the baby. The baby has to go to the doctor and Gary takes time off work to go to the doctor. 

Broomhilda knows he is a softy when it comes to this little boy who is now 2 yrs old. She threatens Gary with taking the child from him if he leaves. 
Rick and I believe those are hollow threats. She is doing this to scare Gary.
I honestly think if Gary leaves she will call him in 2 weeks or less and say what she always does, "come get YOUR son."  

Once when on the phone with him discussing changes to his schedule for the morning I hear her scream, "Get your kid I am sick of the crying" I said, "Do you have to go?" Gary said, "yes, the baby is crying and she refuses to deal with him so I have to get him. Can I call you back when I settle him down?"  Nice mom huh?

Can you imagine not ever bathing your son? Making him food? This venomous woman has 2 other children which she ignores. Her son ran up the data on their cell phone plan playing games and it was over $700. Gary had his phone turned off. Hence why we put him on our plan, made it a company plan and gave him the phone. We need him to have a phone to take peoples charge cards, to call customers if lost, etc. We should have done that from the start but he kept saying he'd rather use his own phone. We should not have listened. Lesson learned for us. All the employees will be given a phone when they start.

I have met her twice. The first time was the first paycheck of Gary's before automatic deposit. She came to pick it up. She was cold and rude. I knew nothing about her yet and I said to Rick, "Pure evil came into the house and I honestly felt it was dark and chilling" Rick laughed at me. Who's laughing now? When things began to happen I told him that she is evil and toxic and if he doesn't get away from her he is going to be in for a-hurtin'. Sadly it came true.

The stories of things she had done to Gary are mind-boggling. But what is more mind-boggling to me is that he is letting it happen. His life is so messed up with her. She is mean to him and the boy. I don't get it. But she controls Gary and until he gets away from her and gets his shit together I can't have it bleed into the job as it has. His mind is not on the job, hence not cleaning the guns. He did so for years and then suddenly he isn't? He is so stressed you can see it on his face and weight. He sold all these cars he had to get the money to move. She found the money and took it. He said it was the closest he's come to hitting a woman.

As the years passed it got worse and the more drama the worse things were here at work. Not as dependable because of the baby.  It's not the babies fault but I can't have a person who works a few days here and a few days there due to caring for their child. I know that sounds mean. I get that. I even offered to have him go part time if that would help him with the care of his child. He said no to that. Then I expect you to be here M-F.simple as that. But it got worse.

He was raised by a military dad because his mom died when he was just a few months old. He has 2 older sisters. They are just 1 or 2 yrs older. They are delightful and I have met them. They all see the toxic environment he lives in. One of them whom I met at a picnic asked if I met her. I said I had. She said, "did it give you the chills?" What a strange question I thought but that is exactly what it felt like. She nodded and said, "he needs to get away before Gary is dead"

Now here is the thing I don't understand. She is not pretty, just toxic. She is not nice, just toxic. What does he see in her? Apparently, it was a great piece of ass that kept him around is all I can think of. Do you know she told him at Christmas that if he went home to see his sick father then the two of them (baby) would not get any Xmas gifts? Gary bought the baby gifts and she took them away. So then there is crying etc. She would not go to Gary's family over the holidays because she thinks they are stupid. Which works out fine because his family doesn't like her. So that is why he went to Michigan with just the baby.

This summer he asked if he could put a baby seat in the work van. I said okay why do you need to do that if I may ask. He said that Broomhilda is taking a 2-week vacation and I have to take the baby to and from daycare and won't have the car. This woman went on a 2-week vacation with her girlfriends. She left her other 2 children with her mother. Her first and only husband committed suicide. I think she has that effect on people.

Last night he texts me and said that as soon as Broomhilda gets home I will be heading your way. She deliberately didn't come home until 8p. She did not answer her phone. She got in and said, "Oh sorry, had drinks with friends"
In the meantime, her other kids are fed by Gary and homework gets done and I was waiting for on him. He kept calling and texting me. I said fine, I'll pick things up in the morning. He apologized for the 100th time.

So that is where the "wife" is in all of this. There are so many more stories but that gives you an idea. I don't wish to be involved in my employee's lives. He has made it that way. I don't want to know more than you have a family and I will acknowledge them and be nice about them. But if they interfere with your work life then things change. I could never ever in a million years have kept my job as long as he had if I had called off work etc for baby things. I saw women worrying about such things to make it work for their career. But all the women I worked with had a supportive co-parent to help them. Many times I had to pick up slack for a mommy. I understood it. It takes a village. But if any of these women missed this much work, caused this many issues, they would not still have their jobs.