Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Throw Back Tuesday

 Since I am out of pocket today I am putting up a post up from 10 years ago.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2011

Brown Eyes and Big Tits

Everyone has talked to my tits like they were microphones the majority of my life.  It drives me mad and it always has.

When I was 9 I was wearing what I called a serious bra by that time.  
I skipped "training bras" and went into full combat mode with no training. How will the "girls" know how to stand at attention with no training? 
I always thought the term, "training bra" was funny. Don't you?
When I would say these things my mom would laugh at me and say, "You'll be happy about all this someday."  She lied to me. 

I noticed that old men (you know like 20) looked at me weird. I hated it. But 9-year-old boys did too. They would snap my bra on the way to gym class. I spent most of those years crying. It wasn't fun. What was the big deal is what I didn’t understand! I longed to be flat-chested since the age of 8. It never changed.

Cheerleading in high school was horrendous. Jumping with these things I could blacken an eye. There were no sports bras just one to train your girls. So I would ask to be wrapped in an ace bandage to keep them tight so when I jumped, did cartwheels, and backflips everything stayed where it should stay. 
No flipping and stopping while my boobs were still going, boing, boing.   
Yes, my high school boyfriend thought it was silly. Then one day he was over and I did some of those things in the backyard without the ace bandage and he laughed. Okay he told me, I see the issue but honestly, I don't mind as he laughed. I know he doesn't mind but I do. 
He understood the need, he finally got it. Now, if only we'd been smart enough to invent the sports bra. I could be rich! So before games, he or another cheerleader would help wrap me up in an ace bandage. 
Ah, high school when they are all new and pert.

Fast forward to age 28/29.
My best friend Melanie and I were heading over to her date's apartment for a double date. The guy I was dating, Eddie, was fixing his best friend up with my best friend. 
We were meeting at the apartment for some drinks and to chat a bit to get to know one another before we all went out.

Eddie and I went into the kitchen to refresh everyone’s drinks and the cheese and cracker platter. I was wearing a man’s style white shirt, a pair of jeans and high heel ankle boots. (jewelry) 
Nothing fancy because we weren’t doing anything fancy. 
The white shirt was not tight and pulling at the buttons with my bosom dying to escape a la Pamela Anderson.
Oh no, it was normal. I never wore things like that to draw attention to them….ever. 
Yet Eddie was staring at my boobs all night as often was the case.

Now as we are in the kitchen making drinks he is once again talking to my boobs and not me.

“Hey, Ed, These are not microphones,” I say as I touch my boobs and lift his chin. (that was something I had to say way too often to way too many) I remind him I hear with "these" as I point to my ears.

I closed my eyes and continue on, “I bet you don’t even know what color my eyes are, do you?”

He laughs. I laugh too. 

“Well, I'm waiting Ed? What color are they?”

I've gone out with this fun guy for a few months now and he doesn't know the color of my eyes!  I didn’t have to open my eyes to know he is really hoping I will open them because he has no fucking clue as he stares at my eyes.  I can "feel" him looking at my closed eyes, the hopeless idiot.

He says, “They’re green. Yep, green. I’m sure of it!”

"Are you sure? Because we have been going out now for about 3 months so you should know what color my eyes are."

I open my eyes and he is actually looking at my eyes for a change and he says, “Damn it!...not even close, they're brown!” 

No, not even close. But I laugh because he was sincerely shocked by this.
He tries to tell me that most people don’t notice other people’s eye color.
Oh, come on now Eddie that is just a lame-ass excuse! 
Yes, normal people do notice other's eyes.

"I'll prove to you that most people don't Peg."
He then yells into the living room, “Melanie what color are Peg’s eyes?”

Without missing a beat Melanie yells back, “Hazel - greenish”

He says, “Ah-ha! See? You've been friends for 10 years you told me. 
So you think she’s just staring at your tits too?”

Damn it. So with that we both laugh. Honestly, how could SHE not know?

Now that I am old. They have deflated. All women understand this. 
Men don't normally get the deflated part.  Men have hanging not deflating right? 
Yep deflating is as bad as falling.
So number one is that I am now old so I am invisible to the majority of the population. 
Because they have deflated they don't look as big. That's good.
BUT they are and I still have to roll them up (😮) to get them in the same size bra.  So this is the only thing about aging that may be okay for me.
I am not ogled, stared at and people now look at my face to talk to me -if they see me.

So what color are my eyes?

9 comments:

Olga said...

I didn't have boobs until I was well into my 40's. Just in time for them to pop out and then start to sag. Why?

Arkansas Patti said...

Brown, see I can pay attention or at least read. But truthfully, I never notice the color of someone's eyes. Couldn't even tell you the color of my sister's. BUT, you were the type that I use to envy. I was hugely popular till it came time to blossom. As others in my age group (like you) did blossom around me, my popularity plummeted down around average as I was still in training. Sigh.
I did have a friend in my 20's who griped about the over abundance. She was dating a pro golfer, wanted to learn to play but couldn't get her boobs out of the way to swing a club. Over the top she'd miss the ball, underneath she'd almost rip them off. I am glad your cross is easier to bear now.

Mr. Shife said...

Loved the story, Peg. Hayden has a few girls in her class that are already developing in the 3rd-grade. It is crazy. I am not ready for this part of parenthood.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Patti, I've said this about golfing for years!! Both husband's thought there was a way, they tried and they saw and said i could drive the cart.God I hope popularity had nothing to do with books.

Mr. S--my poor father. Always giving me a shirt to put on over my bathing suit because boys were at the pool in my yard!! My dad had 5 girls!! He was a mess
Good luck. But you are far more enlightened than my father!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Olga, I'm sorry. You didn't miss anything in fact, you were the lucky one.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Patti-- I meant books, not books.

Mike said...

I finally made it back here. I was trying to remember what color Claudias eyes are. I guess I should go look.

Cruisin Paul said...

As an Italian man, I love boobs. Respectfully. Mary Lou didn't have large breasts until she had her children but now she's much bigger and she doesn't like them. Now at 71 years old, I love my wife for everything about her and her boobs are the very last thing about her. Her brain is the most important thing I love the most. See ya Peg.

Cruisin Paul

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Yes Mike, that would be kind.

Paul, Mary Lou is a lucky woman.