My husband makes me laugh a lot.
Sometimes on purpose, sometimes like Monday by accident.
On Monday he had a senior moment.
He has been telling me that a package would be coming from this chemical company and they expected it to arrive on Monday.
It would be coming C.O.D.
He told me this late last week and all weekend fearing I would forget.
Late on Sunday night they left him a voicemail of the total with shipping costs.
He picked up that message early on Monday morning before he left for work.
I asked him after he listened to the voicemail what was wrong he looked so ticked off.
He said in a angry tone, “It’s $140.00!”
I asked, “Okay. Why do you sound mad about this?”
“Because I don’t remember what the hell I ordered for $140.00”
Now for some reason I found that funny as hell.
He has been telling me for 4 days about this damn thing coming to be sure I had a check ready.
And now he doesn’t know what the hell is coming?
Oh I have seen my future and it’s frightening.
Funny, but frightening.
In other news....
So once again bad behavior pays off financially.
The crazy ass interlopers who went to the white house uninvited last year got their reality show.
The brinks truck has backed up to their home apparently.
The parents who believed their 16 yr old could sail off around the world alone and allow the taxpayers to pay to rescue her got their own reality show as well.
To quote the idiot father, “we are hurting for money so we’ve been trying to get a show before we let her sail”
There are so many things wrong with that statement my head could explode.
I too have had to make some lifestyle changes, maybe I could do something inappropriate and get a show.
And now back to my future.
We recently drove by this 55 and over gated community.
The homes were lovely. We saw the tennis courts, pool building and activity center.
For some reason this is nirvana to my husband. To me it’s an old folks community.
After driving by this he said, “Why don’t you think it would be fun to live there?”
“Because I think they are old people”
“We are old people or not that far away you know.”
“I know but I have not arrived there yet Rick – you’re there you can go before me and let me know how it is.”
“HA HA Margaret. Seriously, we could downsize and be around people our own age. People without babies, people who like what we like, people who we have more in common with. Just think no screaming kids and big wheels up and down the side walk while trying to take a nap."
" But I think you have forgotten that these old folks will have visiting grandchildren."
“ Well aren't you Debby Downer.
Sure I’ll give you that about grandkids….good point but it’s not daily.
C’mon these are folks the same age as us.
You aren’t going to hear any loud hip hop rap crap.
Instead maybe AC/DC, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, you know our type of music.”
“What the hell are you smoking Rick? It’s old people. But they will love my Michael Buble CD's”
“What is in the CD player right now in the car?”
“Rob Thomas new CD so?”
“Okay then you're old and not far from moving into this community so what makes you think they are listening to Lawrence Welk like your Grandmother?”
“Because I think of them as old. They do strange things you know.”
“Oh Margaret now you’re grasping at straws.”
“No, I am not grasping.
Mary from http://www.writingwithoutperiods.com/ lives in one of these and she writes some crazy ass shit going on there. Men in tidy whities running amok in the gym. People with paper towels on their heads for no apparent reason. Honestly she has never made it sound great. I just think its less 55 yr olds and more 85 yr olds like my parents. I don’t want to live there. I think it may be depressing."
"You are making shit up Margaret"
"Look Rick, I love you and I have always followed you.
We have a beautiful lake home but in redneck/Jerry Falwell country and I deal with all that crap because I love you.
I have moved across the country and didn't see the sun for 7 months because I love you.
I have to put my heels in the sand here. "
While I would love to be around more people our age but every time we are they behave so old. With the exception of two sets of our friends most are younger than us. People our age are so sedentary and all around miserable to be around we’ve found.”
“Well, we just haven’t met enough of them. There has to be some fun loving gin soaking gals that you would enjoy. There has to be some men that have interests other than just talking about their prostate. I know you are envisioning your Grandmothers nursing home and it’s not going to be like that. That’s why it’s called an ACTIVE community”.
"Yea, active like Bingo!"
He laughs and let it go but I know he’s going to bring this up again.
He is thinking nirvana, I am thinking hell.
But it sounds like it could be a lot of fodder for a blog.
3 comments:
first off, i think i need to go read some Writing Without Periods because that sounds like some good stuff.
secondly, having lived in Florida my whole life and been exposed to a lot of retirement communities (there are whole TOWNS devoted to the 'elderly'), its my opinion that they arent for everyone. some folks stay active, maybe even get more active, but other folks grow stagnant and just sit in an ancient recliner all day staring at the television.
i may have told you this story before but when i lived in Boca Raton I worked at a shoe store. about once a week the bus from the retirement community came and dropped everyone off for a few hours of shopping. one older gal came into the store, looked around, and then sat in one of our chairs and pooped. i tried to be really tactful and i asked her if she needed anything. she looked at me, said "no thank you." and left.
now obviously not everyone that lives in a retirement community becomes a pants shitter, but i think if people arent challenged regularly (and dont take it upon themselves to be challenged), dementia sets in, and the speed limit on the road to death becomes much faster.
on the other hand, i have a great aunt who lives in a very large retirement community. it has stores and various gyms and its great for her. she is more active now than she ever was. she never learned to drive so when she lived on her own she had to rely on other people. whereas now, she can just walk or take her golf cart to the various places she wants to be.
Tammie thank you for that laugh. I am going to use that as my next excuse. Rick I can't go because I may become a pants shitter.
Oh my God I can't believe she just came into the store and pooped her pants. That reminds me of that Saturday night live sketch, "oops I crapped my pants." Do you remember that?
I can't stop laughing....thank you! I so needed that today.
I love this post. I forget everything so your husband and I are soulmates on that one.
Thanks for mentioning my blog...life where I live is absolutely funny!!! Crazy-weird. It's never dull. However one get's tunnel vision.
Hugs,
Mary
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