Another crazy busy few days so I am posting an oldie that my dog, Izzy wrote. This was when we were trying to sell our lake house. As you may remember Izzy LOVED Rick and she tolerated me except when she was sick or he wasn't around, or wanted food and attention.
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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2012
Izzy Takeover
Good Day Bloggers...Izzy the Wonder Dog here.
My human mom is preoccupied with this house sale.
They are driving her crazy with what she is screaming to be piddly shit.
Don't even know what that means but it's making her nuts.
So I am taking over.
Look, I like this woman, she feeds me, spoils me with treats, hugs, and belly rubs and I can get her to do almost anything I want with my pretty face. But she gets on my nerves because she is always taking time with my man away from me. I should get all his attention and love not her.
You see when my man comes home, he is all mine and she doesn't seem to get it.
Look at me in his arms. Ah, just where I am meant to be.
I'm giving her the ha ha he's mine look here. I love rubbing it in.
Yesterday she came outside with us while he threw the ball for me.
She complained about how cold it was - whine, whine, whine.
So go inside already bitch. I am having fun with my man and you are annoying me and he is giving you attention! No, this is my time just buzz off.
Then she had the nerve to come to bed last night on my side of the bed. How dare she.
Oh sure, it was her side at one time but not anymore.
Now I take up the whole king-size bed except for where my man sleeps.
She had the nerve to snuggle up with MY man. I took care of that, oh yeah I did.
I poked my nose in between them until that nonsense stopped!
Finally, I could sleep.
This woman appears to be a slow learner because she doesn't give up.
She was all kissy with him this morning in the kitchen.
Geez, get a room, people. I had to get in between them again until my tail hit my man's bad knee. That will teach him. That made him jump away from her quickly.
And they think I'm "just a dog" hah! I can see them ya know!
I heard them say at 6pm tonight I had an appointment to go to the vet for blood work.
Apparently, my ever-expanding waistline is bothersome to my vet and my mom.
My vet is just another jealous woman. I'm gorgeous and they are jealous of all the attention I get every day. They don't do they? No. See? It's just jealousy.
I'm really pretty so why the hell can't I be chubby?
Chubby is cute...c'mon look at me, I'm gorgeous.
My coat is shiny and people comment on that all the time.
In fact just yesterday this woman made a fuss over my coat.
No one tells her she is pretty!
Yep just jealousy.
And because they are petty like that I must get stuck with needles.
Those damn bitches think I need to be skinny.
Perhaps it's just their issue at hand, ever think of that?
They put me on terrible-tasting diet food and much less of it for Pete's sake.
Why if I had thumbs I'd be raiding that damn pantry and getting my own food!'
Oh sure, I eat that terrible food but I don't like it! Nope, not one bit.
I can only get 2 treats a day from that woman now and I have to run after balls and sticks for at least an hour a day to even get them. And I walk. What more do they want from me?
How would she like it if she had to do all that stuff to get her ever-beloved coffee every day?
I.don't. think. so!
But that crazy female vet seems to think I have a thyroid issue.
That vet just likes sticking that damn stick up my butt. Perverted sicko she is.
I'll show her and this crazy ass human woman living with me - I will sit and there will be no sticks up my butt today.
I'm standing my ground today....or sitting my ground today. No sticks up the butt.
I think that is just a damn good rule to live by, don't you?
My human mom is preoccupied with this house sale.
They are driving her crazy with what she is screaming to be piddly shit.
Don't even know what that means but it's making her nuts.
So I am taking over.
Look, I like this woman, she feeds me, spoils me with treats, hugs, and belly rubs and I can get her to do almost anything I want with my pretty face. But she gets on my nerves because she is always taking time with my man away from me. I should get all his attention and love not her.
You see when my man comes home, he is all mine and she doesn't seem to get it.
Look at me in his arms. Ah, just where I am meant to be.
I'm giving her the ha ha he's mine look here. I love rubbing it in.
She complained about how cold it was - whine, whine, whine.
So go inside already bitch. I am having fun with my man and you are annoying me and he is giving you attention! No, this is my time just buzz off.
Then she had the nerve to come to bed last night on my side of the bed. How dare she.
Oh sure, it was her side at one time but not anymore.
Now I take up the whole king-size bed except for where my man sleeps.
She had the nerve to snuggle up with MY man. I took care of that, oh yeah I did.
I poked my nose in between them until that nonsense stopped!
Finally, I could sleep.
This woman appears to be a slow learner because she doesn't give up.
She was all kissy with him this morning in the kitchen.
Geez, get a room, people. I had to get in between them again until my tail hit my man's bad knee. That will teach him. That made him jump away from her quickly.
And they think I'm "just a dog" hah! I can see them ya know!
I heard them say at 6pm tonight I had an appointment to go to the vet for blood work.
Apparently, my ever-expanding waistline is bothersome to my vet and my mom.
My vet is just another jealous woman. I'm gorgeous and they are jealous of all the attention I get every day. They don't do they? No. See? It's just jealousy.
I'm really pretty so why the hell can't I be chubby?
My coat is shiny and people comment on that all the time.
In fact just yesterday this woman made a fuss over my coat.
No one tells her she is pretty!
Yep just jealousy.
And because they are petty like that I must get stuck with needles.
Those damn bitches think I need to be skinny.
Perhaps it's just their issue at hand, ever think of that?
They put me on terrible-tasting diet food and much less of it for Pete's sake.
Why if I had thumbs I'd be raiding that damn pantry and getting my own food!'
Oh sure, I eat that terrible food but I don't like it! Nope, not one bit.
I can only get 2 treats a day from that woman now and I have to run after balls and sticks for at least an hour a day to even get them. And I walk. What more do they want from me?
How would she like it if she had to do all that stuff to get her ever-beloved coffee every day?
I.don't. think. so!
But that crazy female vet seems to think I have a thyroid issue.
That vet just likes sticking that damn stick up my butt. Perverted sicko she is.
I'll show her and this crazy ass human woman living with me - I will sit and there will be no sticks up my butt today.
I'm standing my ground today....or sitting my ground today. No sticks up the butt.
I think that is just a damn good rule to live by, don't you?
5 comments:
I still miss your Izzy and my Levi.
Jean. Agreed. Never having a dog before I'm shocked at how much I miss her and her antics. This morning I put some cheese in Rick's scrambled eggs. Some went on the floor and I immediately thought while picking it up that Iz would have sucked that down so fast!!
"Apparently, my ever-expanding waistline is bothersome to my vet."
My vet gets on me about my waistline too, Izzy. Tell her you'll work on it... later!
Ahh, sweet Izzy. I just gave Levi a big hug. I'm old enough so I don't know which one of us will go first but either way I don't want to think about it.
Olga, that is one of the reasons we did not get another dog. We do not wish to out live them. That would have KILLED Izzy. She was a velcro dog.🥰
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