Harming myself

In my continuing quest to do harm to myself I think I fractured my pinkie toe on my left foot. If it has not been fractured then it just hurts like a bear.

Last evening while Rick was watching a stupid show called Survivor I decided this was a great time for laundry folding and stripping the bed.
As I was coming around from his side of the bed I smacked my foot on the bench at the foot of the bed so very hard. I heard the crack. I immediately sat on that murderous bench holding my foot. Rick came running upstairs because he thought I had fallen.  No fall this time.

This morning it hurts like a son of a bitch. It's red but not swollen. But wearing shoes is painful as was attempting to walk the dog this morning after Rick left.
Honestly, I am still sore and black & blue everywhere from the fall, now a limp from doing this. What the shit is going on with me?  I think I should start drinking perhaps I will walk better than I do when I'm sober.
I'm afraid I'm just a hot mess so this is all I've got today

I find this one too true

 Or so very very true.

 This is what I deal with when we change the clocks back.....the whole time until the clocks spring forward again!!

Cupcake Update

***Remember those cupcakes that went into the freezer?
They came out of the freezer and went into my belly.
I could hear them and it was driving me crazy. They kept begging me to take them out of the freezer. They were cold. They needed to be in my warm belly.
So I took 1 out. I devoured it. Then the next day I felt so badly about leaving the other one alone in the dark cold freezer I removed that one too.
Yep, it was yummy and my hips may not be happy but boy my belly is happy.

Those white jeans? Well, they may be in my closet a little longer before they will fit as comfortably as before. Sure I can get 'em on...but I also need to breathe.
Minor detail really but I do like to breathe.

I have lots of money aren't you impressed?

Ah, fun customers.
Here's a goodie for you.
From my morning on this rainy Tuesday.....

"Hi My name is Rob and I saw your great reviews on Yelp.
So tell me if you are as good as they say you are?"

(really? you are asking me this?)
I ignore this and just say, "Hello. What can I do for you today?"

He proceeds to tell me he has a lot of investment properties.
"They are all paid off too"
Why do I need to know this and why should I even care?
So I say, Hmm.
He goes on. Because this is really about nothing more than he being impressed with himself. He tells me all kinds of personal things and I have yet to say a word. I just let him go off on his tour of his impressive self. He then gets to our company and what he wants to do and the order in which he wants to do it.

I tell him we don't recommend this and the reason why. Most people at this point have a light bulb moment and say, "oh I get it, yes that makes total sense"
But that's not this guy's M.O.  I go on to say he can do it that way but we will ask him to sign a document stating this is out of order and when they damage our work there will be a charge to come back and redo it.
He laughed and said, "no. won't do that."
I said, "okay. I'm sorry we will have to decline the work then sir"
He laughed and asked to speak to one of the men here.

Oh, here we go.
"There are no men here right now sir. I can have one call you when they are back in the office."
He said, "well I have to think about this price anyway." He hangs up.

I hoped he would never call again. Damn those good reviews.
He called today. He was asking me another question that I answered yesterday but not to his liking. I said, "You know my boss in here today would you like to speak with him?" I think he creamed his jeans at the idea of speaking to The Man.

'The Man' told him everything I told him. He is doing it our way without any fuss because a man told him. This arrogant ass told Rick all about his piles of money too. I was given the phone back to make this guy's appointment.
And just because he hasn't been a big enough dick he says, "Hope you are as good as your reviews say you guys are" I again just ignore his remarks and confirm the date and time.  It's killing me being nice to this jerk.

Oh, my God. I told Rick I wish to walk away from this job after I hung up.
He said, "Nah, it'll be fine"

I have a feeling Rick will regret this one. I honestly hope I am wrong.
God, please let me be wrong on this one.
Rick's score being right about these things in the past are zero.
I pointed this out to him and he laughed.
I hope this is a first and Rick is right. Please have Rick be right!

Fly Free

All this chatter about some dumb Airline employees trying to wear leggings on a plane. All the people on social media giving their 2 cents, not knowing squat about what is required of employees. Well here is mine.

Having been an airline employee and in the industry, for 20+ years you have a dress code to fly free. These 2 were flying free. One was an employee who should know better and the other was on a buddy pass. Which means you can bring one person with you the employee for the same amount of money $0.00. But you must follow the same guidelines as said employee to fly free. Everyone in the industry knows the guidelines because they are drilled into you. 

If you wish to pay you can wear whatever the hell you want to. 
Hey just look around you on a plane anymore. Everyone who pays for their tickets generally looks cheap and tacky in sweats and pajamas. 
Those who get the privilege to fly for free along with their friend who is flying free on a buddy pass should just shut up, follow the rules, or PAY. 

Rick went to Jamaica with me before we were married and he had to wear a sports coat and slacks and closed toe shoes....business attire it was called then. I had to wear the same and in the late 80's you couldn't be bare legged either, pantyhose were required. That has gone by the wayside now as styles have changed. Was it fun going to Jamaica in clothes like that and being hot as hell? Shit no!
But we sat in first class, drank champagne and didn't pay a cent. 
I think that was worth it. Heaven knows Rick thought it was worth the free ticket, let alone sitting in first instead of coach.

In my years working for Eastern, Piedmont, and the airline GDS's I flew around for free every week. Need a tan, let's go to the Bahamas for the weekend. Want to have a lobster dinner? Let's fly up to Maine for a quick dinner. Want to go skiing this weekend? Let's leave early Friday and head to Aspen. Yep, did it all and more and all for free. Poor, put upon me, I had to wear what my airline handbook told me to wear and look professional and not frumpy. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. I loved traveling, loved just hoping on a plane whenever I could get away.
If I could put on a skirt/pair of slacks, a nice blouse and head to the airpport right now and get on that plane for free I'd do it in a heartbeat. 
Or as Rick said when he heard this report on the news, "he'd put on a damn skirt if he could fly for free again"

Dressing professionally while you fly free and represent the company is a very, very small price to pay. You wear an ugly uniform at Micky D's if you're employed there. Same goes for the airlines. Now stop all the whining.

I Fell and Couldn't Get Up.

This weekend I had a great many things hit me about aging.
Then I take a bad tumble and as I laid there I had a small chuckle that I had fallen and couldn't get up.

Aging came up on our binge watching of Grace and Frankie. Aging came up with another movie we watched. I finally had to say to Rick, "why the hell must everyone remind me?"

Saturday evening around dinner time, I realized I needed to fill up the Rubbermaid container that holds Izzy's food. We keep a big bucket of her food in the garage and Rick or I run out there and fill her inside container up and that is that.  I went out to fill it up with Izzy in tow. She sees that container and knows that it is food time and gets quite excited as only a labrador can do.

I fill it up and as I go up the garage steps to the patio steps I fell and twisted and it knocked the wind out of me. I laid there with food all over and Izzy pushing my arm with her snout because my goodness food was everywhere. I could have been dead but she would never go for help until the food was gone. I hit the wooden steps and one was against my rib cage and it hurt like hell instantly.

Rick heard the apparently loud thud and looked outside and saw me splayed across the steps. He came out and I couldn't really move just yet. This seriously knocked the wind out of me and my knee was screaming. He got me up and hobbling into the house.
By evening I was so sore and black & blue. My knee, hands, and elbows scraped and bloodied. The knee I just had surgery on is the one that is killing me most and it is swollen. Not good. It is skinned and looks like I fell off my bicycle like when I was a kid.

Sunday I was far more sore with more bruises showing up. I must have really twisted because I have muscle pains in areas that shock me. I really didn't think I could feel worse...until this morning. Oh boy. Day 3 and I'm feeling far worse. Although the swelling on my knee is much better. Whew. I do remember something I thought was cool. I literally bounced my head and shoulders on an outside wood step. As I was going down it for the 2nd time I actually had the thought, I'm bouncing, cool.  What an idiot.

I honestly feel like I went a few rounds with a boxer. My neck to my feet hurt and all things in between are so incredibly sore. I feel so stupid that I did this.
Of course, after Rick knew I was okay he began the jokes. I need a medic alert button around my neck he said. I could have gotten up without him, but he was being macho. Besides I had the wind knocked out of me so I didn't want to jump up right away, I needed to catch my breath.  But that didn't stop his 'funny' comments all day yesterday. Oh, you just wait, I'll remember this funny boy!

Now here is the clincher. The reason for my fall was my slippers.
I was wearing my slippers around the house and they are shot.
Rick has been telling me to throw them away for the past year, but I still wear them. As you can see the bottom is coming off and there is a foam piece that is out and I caught that on the cement step as I was leaving the garage. Oops.
So needless to say this was my own fault. 

I know it must be done. Off to the slipper graveyard you go.
I am not ready for the damn medic alert around my neck.
I prefer gold jewelry around my neck, don't you agree?

Chocolate Cake.

We have a very nice customer named Tom who we have done plenty of work for over the years.
Most recently Rick fabricated kitchen countertops for him.
He called me on Friday to ask about some things in one of his bathrooms.

We discussed his schedule and ours and tried to find a time that worked.
He is retired now but works with Meals on Wheels. So each time I gave him a time and date he would say, "nope can't do it, delivering meals at that time"
I recalled him telling me how much he enjoys delivering meals to the elderly or those who are unable to leave their homes. He said he has gotten more fulfillment doing this than he ever had in his career.
And he was no slouch in his career.

We made his appointment and I said I hope he gets to continue to do this job.
Knowing full well that the reality tv personality that is in our white house is trying to kill Meals on Wheels, Medicare, Medicaid and feeding hungry poor children.
Oh boy, that had Tom go off on a very smart funny tangent.
It was like a stand-up comedy routine and I just sat back and enjoyed him.
He was delightful. His use of language was the best. He had me laughing because he was so funny, yet the topic was so damn sad and pitiful.

Tom ended his rant with a funny joke that I could not do justice here, but trust me when I say it was at the expense of the game-show host with no government experience, multiple bankruptcies, and a glaring personality disorder.

I don't normally discuss politics at work but we have worked with him since 2012 and I knew me saying that I hope he can continue with Meals on Wheels wouldn't upset him. Who knew he would turn into Rodney Dangerfield?

I told him if he can't deliver Meals on Wheels then by all means he needs to take his stand-up routine on the road.
He told me he was 70 and he was not up for the travel, perhaps he could do it via You Tube. Then he had a hearty laugh. He went on to share with me how his wife would kill him. I told him, perhaps but if you're making a boat load of money with your stand-up routine she may find it enduring.
Well, that made him really have a big hearty laugh.

He said he'd call me next week. I said, but your appointment is the week after.
He said, "oh no, just for the laughs and the ego stroking" from you my dear.
He's so cute. I wish there were more customers like him.

In other news.....
I have been hankering, or Rick would say, whining about chocolate cake now for about a full month.
I have not had a piece of cake for over a year. I miss cake. I don't mean a souffle that I had on my birthday but real cake. Dense, moist, chocolate cake.

I don't know why but several weeks ago I awoke to the need for chocolate cake.
It was like a pre-menstrual chocolate craving kind of thing. And we all know those days are over for me but apparently not the craving.

I don't much care for the gluten free box ones and I am far too lazy these days to whip up a GF chocolate cake myself after work. I mean there was a list of ingredients longer than my arm to make this damn thing from scratch.
So instead I just whined that I wanted cake. To Rick it was nightly, it was not nightly but close. 😀  Wednesday evening I made Rick flan. He LOVES flan and I am not flan's biggest fan. But I watched him have dessert and asked if he felt badly eating in front of me. He laughed and said Nope, more for me. The flan wasn't going to do it for me, I wanted cake. Dense, moist chocolate cake damn it.

Last evening I told Rick I was done cooking for the week.  Dinner on Friday would be pizza for him or something like that. He was fine with that. He asked what I would be eating since I can't have pizza. I told him wine and dreaming of chocolate cake.   I told him I would probably break down and make myself one and then after a piece he must eat the rest. Which is no problem for him to do.

Friday was an easy day for him. After the morning appointment, he was done.
I gave him a light day because he is working on Saturday. Only Gary was working all day. (hey, someone must make us the money) Rick comes home around lunchtime and comes into my office and handed me a chocolate cupcake that was decorated beautifully.
I squealed of course. Yea, my chocolate cake craving taken finally addressed!

He then told me what he went through to get these damn GF cupcakes. I asked, "cupcakes, plural?"  He told me there were 4, he only brought one to my office.
Oooh, I am thinking wine and chocolate cupcake will be my dinner. Don't need anything else.Is it 5pm yet?

He said he called a bakery that came up on his phone when he inserted GF chocolate cake. It was located in Fairfax where he was at that moment in time.
He called them and asked if they had GF chocolate cake. They said yes. He said he would be there in 7 minutes according to his phone directions. They said good, we'll be here. He got there and they had no such thing. It would be a special order. The owner came over and said can we order it for you? Rick said, "no, I wanted to bring this home. I did call and I asked if you had them and said I would be here in 7 minutes and someone said okay so they knew I was coming. Why wouldn't they have said that they are a special order?"  The owner said, "look we have other cakes." Rick said, "but I need a GF cake for my wife who has celiac" The owner then rolled his eyes and turned away and said, "good luck with that"  That is the normal reaction when you ask for GF due to the damn fad.

Rick walked the 3 blocks back to his car fuming and googled something again. This time a bakery even closer to our home came up but it was only cupcakes. He called them. They said they did indeed carry GF cupcakes. He figured cake vs cupcakes would make no difference to me. (he was correct)
He then asked, "do you have them in stock right now?" They said we have only 4 chocolate ones left. He said, "don't sell them please, I'm on my way"  He went into the bakery that only makes cupcakes and bought himself 4 great looking cupcakes. One was red velvet, one was chocolate with raspberry and 2 others that look just as great. They only have chocolate for me. Who cares!! It's what I have been craving all along.

The owner came out from the bakery to the showroom when Rick arrived. He asked about the GF cupcakes. She stopped him and showed him how they are made so no cross contamination etc. I'm sure she did this to put his mind at ease. Which was more for me than him but he would have asked since he has seen me get very sick from this type of thing. The owner went on to explain they hope to expand to other flavors since they are getting more requests. She told Rick her nephew has celiac and that is what made her realize how important they are made with no other flours nearby etc. Rick was so thrilled he told her he would be back and spread the word. So when he came home he left a great review for Actually Cupcakes and a review for the guy who told Rick "good luck with that" that wasn't so glowing.

In the meantime, I got my chocolate cake that I have been craving for the last month. I ate my cupcake slowly with a fresh cup of coffee at my desk. It hit the spot!! Craving taken care of! Whew.  And then I gave my hubby a big fat kiss for going to all that trouble for my chocolate cake craving. It was a great surprise!! I think I will freeze 2 of them. I know I told you there were 4. But I'm gonna be a pig and eat the 2nd one tonight.

Popcorn

This has been a crazy difficult week.
But it's Friday.
This will be my evening.
Wine.
Popcorn
Binge watching Grace and Frankie.

Okay I lied, the removal of my bra is on that damn list too.
God I hate bras....I digress.

This morning on Good Morning America they did a test to determine which popcorn tasted best.
The options were the following for the same amount of popcorn.
1.Gourmet popcorn $5.
2 Regular microwave popcorn $4
3. Kernels done on the stove as I do $.60

There were 6 or so people who tasted the 3 kinds in front of them.
They all picked the same popcorn. #3 for only $.60
They were all shocked but not me. I think that is the best-tasting popcorn.

It takes as long to do on the stove as it does in the microwave so you aren't really saving any time and certainly not any money. 
Besides you can make all kinds of flavor profiles.
I make all kinds of popcorn and I control the flavoring and use ingredients that are real and no chemicals.

I make some kick ass popcorns and have had neighbor friends invite themselves over for popcorn. Jenn used to do that all the time. One day she rang my bell and was standing there with a bottle of wine, a stick of butter and said that her boyfriend was out of town & did I wanna make some popcorn and have a few glasses of wine? It made me laugh. I told her to c'mon in. I made her favorite one and we had a great evening of popcorn, wine and girl talk.
Nothin' better on a Friday night.

So this weekend try it the old fashioned way and use real butter.
You only live once!

Flashback to the 80's

I listen to a Sirius internet radio while I work. Best part is that it can be paused when I'm on the phone. So a 2 hr interview could take me 6 hours. But it is enjoyable none the less.

Two weeks ago there was an interview with John Mellencamp.
Now I enjoyed his work back in the day. Wasn't that the 80's?
I remember how excited I was to meet him at the Cleveland Airport.
I actually bumped into him or he bumped into me and my bag dropped.
He and I both bent down to pick it up at the same time.
That is when I locked eyes with him and realized who it was.
And being the dumb ass I am I say, "oh my God it's you"
He said, "it is me."
I thanked him and we were both on our way.
He was short is what I was most surprised by. I mean very short.
And he smelled like an ashtray. Funny memory isn't it?

I had already seen him in concert by this time and I really liked his music.
Over the years I haven't enjoyed his newer music as much.
I also found him a bit of a curmudgeon when I would see him on TV.
But not so much so that I didn't enjoy him. I actually found it was all very funny.

Last week he had a 2+hr interview on the radio.
I found him to be a real asshole. Sorry, that is the only word for him.
He hates everything. A curmudgeon doesn't do him justice.
He hates having to play his hits. He hates singing and performing. He does it for the money he kept saying. He only likes to paint. He doesn't want to have to be doing music.
He went on and on about hating to sing what his fans want. He made a remark about his "damn fans" that really put the nail in the coffin for me. It really was an ugly side to him but it's the side he wishes to show us and we have been warned.

I get some of that. I get that singing Little Pink Houses for the 10,000th time is a bitch. But that song bought you that lifestyle you said you like so much.
So suck it up and sing it. Or don't sing and don't bitch if no one comes to a show.
He was so unappreciative of everything. The interviewer talked about how the fans love him and how those songs were from a time in their lives. He said, "what the f-do I care. They are my songs and I don't want to sing 'em anymore"
Alrighty then Mr. Curmudgeon.

Sunday evenings I watch Sammy Hagar's Rock 'n Roll Road Trip.
This week's guest was John Mellencamp.
John bitched a whole lot less but it was there.
Sammy, who is Mr. Sunshine, always happy and reminds me of a Golden Retriever couldn't be more different. So he genuinely seemed shocked at his some of the responses.
All John wants to do is paint. So my message to John is, shut up and paint.
I won't go to see you in concert again nor will I ever pay for your music since you think your fans are suckers. Now be quiet and paint something.

So my 80's flashback continued today with Bon Jovi in a 2 hr interview.
Playing with the band and interviewing them. I swear when these songs were played I am smiling at my desk. Singing my little heart out if not on the phone too. Ah, it brought me back to the days of my bad perm, dating Rick, seeing Bon Jovi in an outdoor summer concert with Rick. Boy that was fun. My guess is this was 1989. We saw him in my hometown, which is his mother's hometown. While Jon grew up in Jersey his grandparents (his mom's parents) still lived in Erie PA. His grandfather said to him that if he was so big now why don't you come to Erie to play?  So he did. Huey Lewis & The News opened that day.  Rick and I were in the 2nd row on a very hot summer day. In between acts, they took the hose to us and while that sounds awful it felt great after sitting in 90-degree heat and humidity for hours. Jon BonJovi even introduced his grandfather to the crowd after he told the story of his grandpa saying if he was really a big shot he'd come to his town so he could see him. His grandfather stood up and waved to everyone. It was cute.  Today's interview talked about having to play the same songs for the 10,000th time from 30 years ago but instead of hating his fans for it he took a different approach. He said he understands and he is damn thankful. These songs mean something to his fans and they made the band what they are and gave them their success. He said his way of doing it is to play 5 for the fans and 2 for me. That allows him to do something things he wants to do not just the same songs all the time. Keeps it fresh that way for him. Sounds fair enough to me. Never once did he say how awful his fans were and how he hates them, hates to play music and rather be doing something else. I imagine if he wanted to do something else (like his help with the homeless or his arena football team) he would be doing it. I don't see him doing anything he doesn't want to do. As his song says, "Like Frankie, I did it my way" (frankie being sinatra)

Music has such a great way of bringing you back to "that" moment and those memories.  Dean Martin reminds me of my mom. That was her favorite singer.
He made her swoon as she would say. I heard stories about she and her girlfriends seeing them at the Calabrese Club. Insert swoon. It makes me smile just like music memories should.
I would come home from school and she would be ironing with Dino on.
I know all Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra songs because of my mom. Which made me a weird kid who loved rock 'n roll but also Dean and Frank.

A favorite song of mine is Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC.
Which brings me to another interview I heard with Jim Breuer the comedian this week.
He does great stand up and he does even better imitations of rock singers.
His AC/DC Brian Johnson is great! If you have not heard it, youtube it.
He was interviewed on the Sirius show I listened to yesterday and he was talking about how he has a new stand up with his music involved. He did a few songs sounding like heavy metal but it was about his teenage daughter and it was very very funny. His interview showed what a nice guy he is and how deep his love for his fans and family is. Shouldn't it be that way?
Maybe someone ought to tell that to Mellencamp.

DNA saga

Remember I did my DNA through ancestry.com?
Well, now folks are coming out of the woodwork. 
I wish I could have just done this and not be bothered.

I get why Rick did it, he was adopted and wanted to know more about his background. I too thought it would be fun to see if I had any Irish in me or some other exotic nationality other than just being Italian American. If I had known this would all happen I am not sure I would have done this.

Look I have an enormous family as it is. 
I have wonderful cousins and love 'em to pieces but I don't need or care for anymore.
I have 41 pages of relatives on ancestry.com for Pete's sake. All the way back to 8th cousins. 

I don't really care about a 4th-5th cousin on my maternal grandfather's side of the family who lives elsewhere.
Okay, hello, nice to meet you. End of story.

But no. This person keeps writing to me. 
This woman sent an email via ancestry.com which I have ignored for weeks.
She keeps sending them anyway.
She wrote and said her name and told me her husband was related to me somehow and we are 4th or 5th cousins. She says, here is a link to his tree. 
So I look at the tree link she sent me. 
(I saw his name on the bottom of the list of people I was related to but ignored it.)
As I am perusing the tree she sent I see that it is all English/British people. 
Not a single name ending in a vowel.
I am thinking she is crazy at this point.

If you look at my family tree it is a symphony of vowel-ending names. 
It is all Italian. No Smiths, Jones, Johnson or any other such easy or American sounding names.

I ignore her emails until I couldn't anymore. 
She has sent me 18 at this point. All with more info about his tree. 
I respond with a hello and thank you for your email and explain I did go to her tree but it was all English and I think she may have the wrong person.
She writes back instantly and says that she gave me her family tree instead of her husbands. Her husband's name is Clement. Again not in my family unless it was Clementi or some such thing. 

I look at this tree and see nothing that was familiar. I ignore her continued ancestry emails. At the 30th email, I answer her. She tells me they changed their name from Amiccucci to Clement. Again, I really don't care about any of this with the exception that I want to know why they would do that name change. But I do not ask because I don't want her to keep emailing me.

I feel bad about it to a point but I didn't do this to find 4th or 5th cousins or long-lost relatives. I did this to see my nationalities. I didn't care about finding any more family. I have enough now thank you very much.

So now I feel as though the only way she will get what I am saying is to be very straightforward without sounding mean but that wasn't something that was easy. 
I write back and tell her I am assuming this is my maternal Grandfathers side of the family since they are from Rocca Pia Italy.
I go on to say my reason for doing this was not so much to find a distant family but to discover myself. I end with telling her it was nice to meet her but I have nothing else to give. What is she looking for in all of this? I know that sounds awful but how else do I get her to leave me alone? Does she think I am going up to New Jersey to meet a 4th or 5th cousin from a side of the family I never got to know because my mom died when I was 13? What is she expecting at this point? Family reunions? 

Oh I know this sounds mean and cold hearted. But I just don't see what the point is here. I haven't known these people or met them for 61 years and I have been just fine.
I have been torn because as my husband said to me, if I found a relative on ancestry that lived in Italy I would hop a plane to meet them. But I have always wanted to go to Italy so that would be the main reason...I think. So then I feel like shit because I do not care about some man in Jersey who could be my 4th or 5th cousin. I hate when Rick makes me see the other side. Damn him. So now I have Italian Guilt.  😟

Have you done your DNA on ancestry.com and did you have relatives coming out of the woodwork?  Did you like that?

UPDATE: I checked my preferences for email and I have all the correct things to be left alone but more importantly she contacted me and said she understood and let it go. I just needed to be forthright and she got it. Thank goodness. 

Divorce via Email?

As I mentioned yesterday Rick has been home doing taxes. Oh we're having tons of fun.(Dear Lord please let him be done soon so I don't commit murder)

Late yesterday he yells upstairs and asked me if I had filed for divorce?
HUH?
I decided to run downstairs to see what in the hell he was talking about.

I ask him, "What are you talking about? Is this about the payroll question again?"
He begins to laugh and tell me he received an email from my lawyer.
My lawyer? I don't have a divorce attorney - yet.
He showed it to me. OH. MY. GOD. 
The depths people will go for spam/viruses.

I wish he had not deleted it so quickly because I would have copied and pasted it here to share with you all.

"The attorney" writing introduces himself as his wife's attorney. 
It went on to say the name of the law firm he worked at and that he was attaching the first draft of the divorce document for him to review.
Of course, he did not open said document because we all know what that would have done.  But boy oh boy did it look good. Normally these types of things will have misspelled words or something just off a bit. Nope, not this one. Even the email address seemed to be a real one and not like some spam emails you would see.

I said to him as I was walking out, well now I know how to get your attention. Be careful the next one may not be spam.
...tee hee

Taxes

My husband is downstairs doing taxes.
I hate this time of year because dear Rick becomes Mr. Cranky Pants.

I am upstairs in our office doing what I do.
He came to the office and waited until I was off the phone to pose a question.
He stood in front of my desk holding a bank statement and a pen and I could tell he was ready to charge.
I hung up the phone and he jumped.
He was asking me about a payroll charge he saw and kept pointing to it as though I did not understand.
I explained the charge and why they do it that way. He looked bewildered.
I explained again. He shook his head and said that can't be correct.

Because the only thing here I don't do is payroll, I suggested he call the payroll company. I gave him Liz's number and extension and explained that she takes care of us. She can explain this to you so we are certain. (I was certain but it was easier to say it this way not to ruffle feathers)

He left my office. I could hear his end of the conversation. 

I admit it made me laugh.  

I was now certain that he must realize what I had said was accurate.

He hung up, he came to my office and felt the need to explain it to me exactly how I explained it to him. 

I stifled laughter so to not poke the bear.

I asked, "Do you feel you understand it now that Liz explained it?"
"Yes I do, he said, it makes perfect sense."

I said, "good, that's all that matters babe"  He left my office acting as though he had just made me understand this for the first time.  I let it all go.

Tip: Do not work with you spouse and if you must, vacation during tax time without him!

Snow Day

We have snow and ice here.
Rick picked these for me last night on his last walk with Izzy.
He knew they would just die if not picked.

My 5:30am walk with Miss Izzy the Diva Dog was a doozy.
It was so slick.
I took a bit of a tumble and Izzy was rolling around in the snow on her back and upon seeing me, she ran to me and began licking me and wagging her tail. I think she thought I was playing with her. Just because she sticks in her face in the snow and rolls on her back in the snow doesn't mean I like to. But it was cute and it made me laugh. I got up and brushed myself off and realized I needed my "cleats" over my boots.
But I was too lazy to go back to the house to fetch 'em so I was a very careful walker the rest of the time.

The 3rd time we went out today she got a chunk of ice in her wound and let out a yelp and put her foot up. It began to bleed. Thankfully we were just around the corner so I went back in the house and grabbed her bootie that we used while she was first hurt. She loved it and went right on back to playing.

We have a snow day today. We got very little snow - about 4 inches. But it's the ice that is the killer here today. The top of the snow is all ice, making shoveling very difficult. The guys are off work today but I am still working.
Not much, but working. The phones are quiet. I have only booked 4 appointments today so far. We'd starve at that pace but when everyone is home on a snow day we are always quiet. Allows me to behave just like this meme.

This as ya'll know is what I go through daily.
I thought it was an interesting take on the issue.

Off to move my car now. I think I hear hot chocolate in my future. (with peppermint schnapps of course) Mmmm.....

Sea Lion

Boy would I be thrilled if this sea lion jumped on my boat and hugged on me!!

Come on look at that cute face!!

Canada

You all know my love of all things Canada. (My next life will be in Ontario.)
So here are a few gems while I am swamped at work today.

I absolutely love this one!

This below was good as well.

Blogger

To all of you on blogger I am thinking of making this a private blog.
I see that if I do that only those on blogger and blog authors can read me.

Have any of you tried this? If so what happens to the people on word press or those that just don't have a blog who I would want to allow to read this?

The 2nd option was to make this private and I list all the people who can read me but it isn't clear on blogger if they are the URL of their blog or IP addresses or what list I would make.

Anyone have an experience with any of this?  The FAQ's aren't helping me.

My New Home

I saw my new home.
Wanna see?

I don't know why I find this funny.
On one hand, I think it would be a nice place to live.
On the other hand, I think it may get annoying as hell.

We have gone to communities of 55 and older and everyone was so damn old to us.  This probably wouldn't be like that. I don't even like Jimmy Buffett music all that much but the whole vibe could be interesting.
If I were to move to Florida I sure would prefer the gulf coast vs. ocean side.
And something tells me this would get old. No pun intended.

What do you think?

Birthday Bust

Wow was this weekend a bust.

Let's start with the good day. Or 1/2 day.
Friday I had to work so how good could that be?
But at 5 pm Rick walked in the door with Laura.
Yipee.

Drinks and laughter ensued. Laura is used to good pizza from up north.
She loves pizza as well.
She wanted to have pizza so I made plans of pizza, wings, salad, dips etc.
I was going to make wings but then she told me she won't eat meat on Fridays.
So there was that. All of the things I was making were now out the door.
We only have awful pizza around these parts. Chain pizza shops.
So she wasn't too happy with the pizza which I knew would be the case.
But I made myself a cake. The only good part of the meal. (mine was fine, salad) It is a 3 ingredient souffle cake. Oh, my is it good.
It is naturally gluten free so I was hoping she would like it as much and Rick and I do.

Thankfully she liked it. She asked for the recipe to make it for her hubby. It is fabulous and I could eat it all myself with some wine. It pairs perfectly with wine. 😊(says Peg about everything)

She fell asleep on my sofa so we decided it must be time for bed.
Off to bed, we all went.

Rick as you know, brought her back to DC in the morning. After they left I went upstairs to strip the bed and bring the towels down to the laundry room.
She didn't even turn down the bed? What did she do, sleep on top of the comforter? Goof ball.

When Rick got back he brought Izzy to daycare so we would have a carefree birthday fun day for me. We made plans and I was eager to get a move on them
Rick returned home and as we were getting dressed his cell rang. He answered and I hear, "how much blood? what is the issue? okay okay, stop talking so I can get there."  Gee that was rude I thought.

He hung up and said Izzy was hurt and we have to get her to the vet.
What? How hurt? Where? He was out the door. I was calling the vet who works at a clinic that is also a veterinary hospital on the 1st floor.

I called and said I wasn't sure what Rick was bringing in but I was told her foot was bleeding and they couldn't stop the bleeding.

Apparently, Izzy caught her nail (pinky toe) on something tore her toenail out from the root. Some of her toe has a cut as well. The owner at doggy day care carried her out to the car. Apologizing like crazy. Hey, she could have done this while in the woods with us. We surely didn't blame them. They don't even know what she caught it on. They saw a trail of blood and saw Izzy standing there.

Before they took Izzy to the back she and Rick were in the waiting room. There was blood everywhere and Rick told me it looked like a murder scene. I am glad he didn't show me that. They took Izzy back with the technicians and they had nothing to cut off. That nail was gone. They got the bleeding to stop and they bandaged her up.  They said she was so sweet and didn't move or whine. I know this dog - she would never whine about pain, she will just look at you peripherally and be frozen in fear.

We were told to keep an eye on her. I didn't understand why since she wasn't given drugs. But I assumed if it began bleeding again etc.
They wrapped in a pink bandage and sent her home with the cone of shame.
Rick removed that immediately. She didn't bother the bandage. She can't walk on it so she just lays around. She won't go to the bathroom. I mean how long can she hold it?

This is her laying on the sofa. (yes I have a sheet on it so she doesn't scratch the leather. I'm anal like that)

She last went to the bathroom yesterday early afternoon. She peed this morning only after a lot of coaxing to get her outside and then she wouldn't go further.
So she is eating just fine but not pooping. She really doesn't want to walk on it at all.

We were told to take off the bandage today. We did. Oooh gross. She needs something on it so we wrapped it up again but smaller. She tried licking that so we put some lemon on her foot - not the open wound side- that would hurt and be mean. Just rubbed the lemon rind on the good part of her foot, knowing full well she hates that smell. Sure enough, she stopped with that. She took one lick and made a face. Kind of funny actually. But that stopped all that nonsense immediately.

I ran to the doggie store in the development on my lunch break. We put a bandage on the area and wrapped it back only we didn't buy a pink tape, this time it's green. (only color there) and we bought her a bootie for her foot. We thought that may help her walk a bit. The cold air or wet grass wouldn't be felt at all this way. Hey, it was worth a try.

After the bandage, she got a small treat for being still and we made her go outside. My goodness, this dog is as stubborn as her human father. He literally had to drag her. She peed and walked into the wooded area and pooped. YIPEE.
I think this thing on her foot helps her. She then walked home and smelled everything outside like she hasn't been there for years. Poor thing. Now that exhausted her and she is out like a light. I think covering the whole foot helped her. I could be wrong, but she went outside and that's all that matters.

So Saturday was a bust for my birthday fun. We can do it another weekend. Our plans will all still be there. Sunday I took apart our wine cellar.
Dusted and moved things around and all kinds of fun stuff.
This girl really knows how to live it up doesn't she?

Birthdays

This ole gal's birthday was Sunday. She was 8. We took her swimming since it's her favorite thing to do. She is a dog who is wet way more often than dry. That white thing is what we throw in the water for her to fetch.

She has been lucky because we really haven't had much of a winter this year and her swimming hole hasn't been frozen for long. (2 days and she whimpered!)
If she isn't swimming she just wants to chase the fish or a fishing lure in the water. Watching her chase fish is pretty funny.

_______________________________

My dear friend Laura's birthday was February 22nd.
She celebrates her birthday for a week. 
I have never met anyone who enjoys their birthday more than she does....well except me.  As you all know because I have said it every year,  it's my favorite holiday.

She will be coming to town today with students for model U.N. She is a chaperone. She is relieved of duties Friday night so she is coming over to celebrate all we girls, Izzy included, birthdays. (My birthday is just around the corner)  She is bringing with her horrible northern weather and it will be damn cold. I told her to come without her lake effect snow weather but she is not cooperating. So tomorrow should be a damn good time to be inside to eat, drink, laugh and stay warm. God knows there will be laughs.

Rick is picking her up and bringing her out to the suburbs. He will chauffeur her back to the District Saturday morning to be there at 8am. Nice how I volunteered Rick isn't it? Hey, it's my birthday Saturday and I'm delegating that day. 😀
________________________

We now have the youtube channel on our TV. So last night I realized I could see all of our videos on the television from our channel. That was fun. I always sound like such a dufus. Please ignore me.
Here is one from 4 years old. It was at our lake house (oh how that home is missed!)
This little boy "playing" with Rick is the son of my friend Laura, who is coming to town. He is now a 16-year-old - well everyone is 4 yrs older.

These two would "play" together every year. I am uncertain as to who the child is in this video. Rick and Joey must always one up each other in pranks and jokes. I guess once a little boy always a little boy. Rick is now out of pranks so it's up to Joey now. Sibling comments in the background crack me up. 


___________________________
I will be away for the next few days having fun.
See you all next week.

IKEA

Last Friday I took the morning off and went to IKEA.
Rick was in the office so I could go.

My neighbor who I have rarely seen all winter asked me to go with her. I always love a trip to IKEA. She said she would drive and asked me to be at her house at 9 am.  I thought that was a bit early but what the hell. It is a drive so if we are early we can get some coffee or something.

I get to her door and she doesn't answer. I ring the bell. I knocked.
A neighbor who lives a few doors down from her said, "are you sure she is home?"  I tell him I'm not sure. So I text her and tell her I'm at her door.
Just as I was about to walk away she appears.
She looks confused.
I laughingly say, "You told me to be here at 9 am and I'm here."
She said, "But it's only 8 am Peg"

I look at my watch and it's now 9:05. She asks me to come in and I look at her clocks in the kitchen, both on the wall and her stove. It's after 9 am. So I ask if I woke her. She said no, but she repeats it's only 8a. Now she looks at the clock and says,"Oh my gosh it's 9 am, my clock upstairs says 8 am."
We have a laugh. She gets ready and we leave.

She was drinking a green smoothie that she is telling me is great.
She brings the smoothie to her car. I open my door and get in and buckle up.
She gets in and I do not notice that she doesn't have her smoothie. She told me her GPS wasn't working and I was fiddling with google maps on my phone.
We proceed to drive down the street and her phone rings. She has Bluetooth so she pushes her car button and is talking to her daughter. As we are driving I hear this loud thump. I look in my side mirror because it was like she ran over something. I see nothing. Then we hear another thump and a noise I can not decipher. Her daughter hangs up and I suggest we pull over while still in the neighborhood to see what that was. She gets out and looks confused. I see the smoothie had run down the back window of her Prius. I ask if she put her smoothie on the hood of the car. She slowly turns to me and then you can see her having a light bulb moment as she realizes what she has done and laughs and tells me yes it was her smoothie cup.  I have to say at this point I am a bit concerned. She is acting very odd to me.

We begin the trek to IKEA. She is telling me the way she goes is through Manassas. I am a bit confused but let her do it her way, I mean, she is driving right? I told her the GPS will pick up the way because she says she knows she has to go down rt 29 but that is all she remembers. I tell her I am not familiar with going that way but we'll figure it out, no worries.

She is driving so slow I want to scream. Because of the way her dashboard sits in this Prius I can see her speed. Never ever did we go over 52, even on the highway. She also was riding the lines or in the middle of two lanes. I'd say, Lorri, you are getting a bit too much to the right or left, whichever it was. She would act like she didn't hear me. I was beginning to think she was on something.

She continues to slowly drive to the store scaring the living shit out of me.
I would say, Lorri the next light we have to turn right, you'll want to get over in the right-hand lane. And she wouldn't move. We missed so many turns. It was like she never heard me even though after a few times I began speaking louder.

We finally made it there. We walked around, got the things we were looking for and stopped to have lunch there. She asked me a question and as I was answering she asked me why I was telling her this. I know I looked puzzled. She blurted out, I have dementia. Ah, this was all making sense now. Dear Lord, why didn't I drive? Why would she say she would drive? Why is she driving? When did this happen? I saw her in December and she seemed fine. And at some points that day she seemed fine too but more often than not she wasn't fine.

She told me that time was an issue as were words.
Earlier when telling me something she struggled for a word. I finally said it and she said that's right. I wondered what she meant about time.
Time as in I arrive at your home and you forget it's really 9 am?
Everything is pretty much fine she kept saying. She was seeing a doctor this week that her primary doctor sent her to.
I knew her mom and she had dementia or Alzheimers when I met her. She would be walking down the street in a nightgown and I would say hello and she'd tell me it was such a nice day. I would then suggest we walk together and she would grab my arm and I'd turn her around and bring her home. They had to lock her in the house it had gotten so bad. Now her daughter is like this.

This woman is only 9 years older than me. She is not that old.
Anyway, the ride home was far worse. It took us 2 hours. She kept missing exits. Then she got scared and angry. I suggested she pull over and I could drive for her. She could relax. She was getting angry and scared.
She kept saying no. So after saying it twice, I felt that was enough and I let it go and just prayed we made it home. She missed the parkway, she missed route 66 and then she missed the toll road - we are now headed for Maryland. I begged her to get off an exit and she kept saying, "But I don't know what is there"
I would lie and say I did. I knew we just needed to get off and then get back on again to go the other direction but since that confused her I tried another tactic.
It finally worked.

I came home and Rick asked how my day was. Where do I begin?
I told him everything, like the myriad of things she did that I am leaving out.
But what has stuck with me is that she has this horrible disease. That she is only 9 yrs my senior. That last year she went to Europe alone with a group of strangers. She could no more do that today than my father could. (But my father is 89)

When having lunch she kept asking me why I didn't have the meatballs. I knew then that she forgot I had celiac. So I explained. She said, oh yeah that's right. Then she mentioned it later when she had a cookie and she offered me one.
I said No thanks I don't want one right now." I did not say a thing about why I didn't want it because I didn't want to upset her. I just said no thank you. I also didn't want to make her embarrassed or feel badly in any way.

Today I go to open my front door and there sat a birthday card and a box of girl scout thin mints. So she remembered I have a birthday coming up but not that I can't have the cookies (my favorite GS cookies no less) I called to thank her for the cookies and card. She said she couldn't remember when my birthday was but that it was coming up. She's right it is in March. I said she was correct and I loved the surprise and the cookies. I didn't need to say anything else.

It breaks my heart to see her like this. But more importantly, I am concerned that she is driving. I thought about calling her daughter and I go back and forth. I know her daughter took over her money earlier this year so maybe she knows how bad it is. She sees her and talks to her daily. I haven't said anything but I feel like I should. I'm torn. I know taking away her keys will kill her but she could also kill herself and someone else the way she drives! When she told me she spent too much money last year with her trips, lectures and the like her daughter had a fit and said do I have to handle your money? She laughed and said, "fine" I never in a millon years thought it was dementia.

People always say, "age is just a number" Screw that. It's more than that. It sucks. Your mind, your body is all changing just like puberty only worse, its reverse.
I have a young spirit but I'm damn old. The only time this is considered young is if I die. Like this week when the actor Bill Paxton died. Same age as me. Then it's, "oh he was so young" But they don't tell me that when I get my discount on Thursdays at the grocery store. 😀