Cookie Monster

Let's start with T.G.I.F.....FINALLY.

Hubby has been sick as yesterday's post told you.
He is not eating, which means I am not cooking.  HALLELUJAH!!

I have never liked cooking but since becoming gluten free it is such a pain in the ass some days.  I would love for it to be fast and that not mean another damn salad. To even be able to use a can of soup would be a thrill. But I can't.
Although I did have a great grilled chicken/blue cheese salad the other night. Yummy.
For some reason grilling the chicken while wearing your ear muffs and parka makes the chicken oh so much better.

Last night was no different on the dinner front. Rick did not want anything more than tea.
So I had a cup of brown rice because frankly I was too damn lazy to make anything else.
Not a good balanced dinner but it filled me up.

But I did find the energy to make bad things for me.
I made gluten free chocolate cookies. 
Because I receive a gluten free newsletter I get these recipes all the time. 
This one I printed because I knew arriving like clockwork would be that monthly chocolate craving  so the products were already in my pantry for when it was time. 
Last night it was time.

These cookies were so easy because I used a gluten free chocolate cake mix from Betty Crocker.  Added oil, vanilla and eggs.  Viola, cookie dough.  Rolled the balls in sugar and put them in the oven.  (yea, I know the sugar is oh so bad!)

These were so good that Sick Boy muttered from under his heating pad and blanket that he may want to try one.  They didn't make many.  Although the recipe said it made 4 dozen. 
It only made 2.  They could not have been made any smaller either.  Wonder where they came up with 4 dozen.

This morning I came downstairs to Rick taking a cookie out of the jar to have with his coffee.
I asked if he thought this was a good first food to ingest after not eating anything more than dry toast and tea for days.  He told me he dreamt about cookies and banana and strawberry smoothies. So he is obviously very hungry. I suggested cereal or perhaps some scrambled eggs but he wanted a cookie - hey his belly not mine.

These cookies are good.  Too good. Because they were too easy to make and they are gluten free.  I eat brown rice and then I have 2 cookies.  I have a problem. 

But seriously no one would know these were gluten free and I didn't need to use 3 different kinds of flours and other assorted agents like Xanthan Gum....what the hell is Xanthan Gum anyway?  (rheterotical because I kind of know but don't really want to know)

I know I have told you about my cookie company before. (if you haven't read that link before go ahead it's fun and short!)
The thing about that is that I have never ever made a cookie since. Last night was my first time. (not counting the Italian Christmas cookie, pizzelle) I must say it wasn't so bad. The key is being away from cookies for so long  I guess.  Hell I didn't even eat a cookie for 13 years.   Sadly I am now over it.

I think I need to work around wine and gin that may help my other "favorite things"

Rehash Thursday

My hubby has been sick since Thanksgiving off and on. 
It's been full on right now.
He will not got to the doctor. 
This male quality is making me angrier by the minute.
Until he is carried there by gurney he will not go. 

This morning when he couldn't find his binder and his cell phone which was on his hip, I was going to write about the morning events when I realized I did that once before.  So I will suggest you read this because basically this is my life now......all the damn time.

This morning he blamed it on not feeling well.
HA!

Winter Wonderland

When I was a very young girl and I would say something like, "I wish I was a teenager." Or "I wish I could drive, I wish I was tall etc." 
My mom's retort was always, "Peggy, don't wish your life away"

I heard that in my head last night as Rick and I were walking the dog and the snow was coming down in big beautiful snowflakes.  It was so quiet and it was only 7:30pm.  The sky was black and there were no cars around just snow crunching under foot. 
It seemed like it was just the 3 of us out in the world. 
I think everyone was hunkered down for the storm we were to get.

Rick and I were holding gloved hands and Izzy was off leash and walking a few steps in front of us.  Just as Rick  said to be careful I slipped and went down. He and Izzy were all over me getting me back up on my feet when I heard myself say, "I wish it were spring"
But you know what I don't want spring just yet. 
I heard in my head my mom saying to me, "Peggy don't wish your life away"  

Last night was absolutely beautiful.  A snow sky is so incredibly black and the street lights really made the snow seem even whiter if possible, against that sky.
It was such a pretty snow.
Right out of a picture book. Everything looked clean and white and fluffy.

So I shook that wish away and really really enjoyed our walk. I must say I do regret not having my camera but honestly I don't know that I could have captured this beauty. 
I haven't seen a snow like that in such a very long time.  Or maybe I just haven't stopped to notice.  Probably more of the latter.

We walked for just over an hour. 
We got home and Rick made his famous hot cocoa (with dutch cocoa) with a hint of peppermint schnapps.
It really was a wonderful winter evening.
Norman Rockwell would have been proud.

Human Experience?

My sister informed me that since having children her mind has turned to mush, she can no longer go out without a bra and she can start a fire if she wear corduroys.

I thought about all of that for a minute. Then I explained to her that I have never had children and that I found that my mind had turned to mush too several years ago.
I've never been able to go out without a bra and I could at least make sparks if I were to wear corduroys. Her sweet sisterly response was Fuck You!

So that got me thinking.
What else does she claim is because she has kids but isn't true?
She says her house is no longer her own.
Neither is her schedule
She tells me that she can't have nice things anymore.

I get why she thinks it's her kids but I don't have them and I have the same issues.
Is a dog (or hubby) really that much like a kid?
I know most moms would kill me for jumping to that conclusion so you don't need to write me a scathing comment.  I am not implying that your little Johnny or Sally is anything like a dog. Just trying to think why we have the same issues yet she claims I couldn't possible since I don't have children.

So tell me moms....Why do we both have the same issues yet we don't have the same lives?
I find this all curious. And she gets so mad when I say that I am experiencing the same things. (believe me I won't do that again!)
She thinks I am most certainly not experiencing the same thing I am childless!!!
We have the same issues and we are 10 years apart in age.
We have the same issues and we live on opposite coasts.
Hell we have the same issues and we don't even have the same mom.

I think it is  just the human experience.
Apparently she knows otherwise.

....and your thoughts?

I don't think I articulated this well. What I was trying to say here  is that these things will happen whether you have kids or not. But apparently my sister thinks all these things only happen to those with children. The rest of us do not age, have any problems what so ever or gain any weight.

Happy Happy Happy....

Okay Happy Posts for you today because I owe you all that.

  Puppies and rainbows and all that horse shit.

 And speaking of horse poo.....

We belong to a Labrador Group for meet ups as they are called to play with other Labs etc.  They are free and always fun for the humans as well as the dogs.
This particular outing was at an equestrian center where they have rehabilitation for healing the horses using water. Izzy was really curious about the horses. None were out of their stables so she couldn't get any closer than this but she wanted to play with each one of them. A brown one could reach down and touch her nose and that made her tail go crazy!

The pool was open to the group for $10 for 2 hours. Money well spent for we humans.
Since it is winter and Izzy isn't at the lake swimming non stop we knew this would be fun for her.  We threw the football or toy and she would jump in and swim and bring it out for us to do again and again and again......

This is fun for us too because she would be so wiped out and sleep all afternoon and night so there wouldn't be a lot of walking etc. Being bad human parents we knew we could have one on one time with no interruptions of any kind.  So a good day for ALL 

Izzy loves water, stuffed animals, footballs and sticks. In that order.  If you have a stick/football in water well it's the bomb for her.  The other day she wanted to bring the stick in the house and I wouldn't let her. So she dropped her stick and came inside. She went directly to her box of toys and grabbed her decapitated frog and went back outside and slept with the stick at her nose while holding her frog. That made me chuckle so I had to get a photo of that.

I do not let our dog onto any of our furniture. She has never tried to get on any of our furniture either. So it works just fine. But lately my husband wants her on his chair or his ottoman.  I told him not to start this nonsense because how does she know the difference from his ugly chair to the sofa etc. So he sighs and says okay reluctantly. I was upstairs doing laundry and other fun domestic things and it was so quiet downstairs. I looked down the stair case and could see what was going on so I grabbed my camera and "caught" him. I showed him the photo and said, "what happened to the no furniture rule here?"
"Well as you can see the evidence shows that there was that old Mexican blanket on the ottoman - but I didn't put it there."

How old are you Richard?.  You are trying to reason with me like you are 12.
I really don't want to start this behavior.  Besides this is a new world now for us and we can't afford to just go out and get new furniture like the old days on a whim. 

"I know, I know, but SHE likes it up here."

"Oh who the hell you kidding - YOU like her up there.  I think you have issues."

Deflecting he says, "Besides that isn't even me in that photo.  I have more hair than that"

"Oh my God your excuses are getting so lame baldy. I have another photo of evidence.
I got you sleeping from the front too"

"It's an evil twin who doesn't listen to his wife, it's not me honey. Honest!"

To those of you who don't think I have children - think again. 
I have 2 of them.

Are You Bored Yet?

It's the beginning of a new year and what have I gone and done to you all?

Bitch, bitch, bitch.....and I'm not done just yet.

As  you know my husband and I own our own business. We opened our business account at our local bank. We choose not to go with Bank of America because well, they are Bank of America and you know what we all found out about them in the last 24 months.  Anyway we decided to go to our local bank that promised us all this service and who want to work with small businesses.

We needed merchant services, which is the ability to take credit cards.  They showed us their offering and the cost of what they were charging us was astronomical.
If you don't know a company who takes credit cards is charged a fee for each type of card. For example, if you are paying $100 for something the company who sold you this product doesn't get the full $100 because a percentage goes to the credit card company. 
Then the bank will tack on their own fees on top of that. (lovely game isn't it?)

Anyway, we told our local bank that we would think about their offering.  We felt the rates were too high but needed to do some homework.  In the mean time the Better Business Bureau was offering merchant services to their members and the rates were terrific in comparison.  I did my due diligence and shopped all banks merchant services and nothing could compare to BBB.  So we went with their software and program.  

The BBB merchant program was easy to use. Each night they made the transfer of funds to our bank.  Our bank held on to that money anywhere from 3 to 6 business days.  I called the bank and asked why.  They told me until we had done business with them for at least 60 days they would hold the money.  Okay I got that.  But 5 years later they were still holding onto our money.  We had the funds to cover the checks deposited or credit cards deposited but they refused to give us our money for a week.  It drove us crazy.  Yet we stayed as we grew. (our huge mistake!)  

When we began doing large commercial work we found that these well known customers didn't pay on time or give any credence to the terms of their contract of payment upon completion or net 30 days.  The bigger the company the worse they where. (Marriott was a big offender of this issue) Big companies thought nothing of not paying for the work they demanded be done on time for 120 days or more.  Usually more. To a small business waiting 3 months or more for our pay was killer.

So with perfect credit we went to this bank and asked for a line of credit so we weren't running so thin or have to use all of our own money for payroll and supplies etc while waiting for 5 figure checks from our customers.  Our bank said they no longer were offering lines of credit to small businesses like ours since the banks collapsed.  All the while reminding us that they didn't have to take money during the bail out. Like that made us feel better. Of course I said if you were so solid to not need the governments money then why are they not offering small businesses any help?  Never did get an answer to that one.

So we trudged on.  Some months better than others.  We even discussed not taking any more commercial work since they didn't pay us; because really if you aren't paid in 3 months it's like you've done the work for free. Because by this time you have now paid out for the gas, the vehicles, the employees, the supplies and the insurance for that job. But no money has come in during that time only out. So we didn't bid on as many commercial jobs and focused on residential.  At least people paid. 

The only problem with residential is we still had to wait for our money from the bank.  Let's say we deposited a couple of checks $1000 we had to wait those pesky 3 - 6 business days even though we had the money to cover it.  It frustrated us so badly.  We asked over and over again and always were met with snarky looks and no real answers.

So we began shopping for a new bank.  As we were shopping for a new bank I got a call one afternoon from a new bank in town who wanted to meet with us and discuss our business needs.  What did we have to lose??  They were new to Virginia.  They were buying up smaller banks as well as opening their own.  I was familiar with them because they started as a Pennsylvania bank and being from PA I was aware of them.  They were just new to this area.

While this new bank was wooing us we decided to give our current bank one more try.

We deposited $100 in cash in the ATM just to see how long it would take to clear and get into our account.  It took 3 days for OUR  CASH to clear and be deposited into our account.   C.A.S.H!!!  THAT WAS THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN.

It has been a pain in the ass learning the new banks merchant services software.  Calling all the automatic payments that are taken out of our account and giving them the new account info.  All the little details that go along with changing banks. But so far it has been everything they promised.  It's been 2 months now.

Today I went to close out our accounts at our old bank.  I sat at the managers desk and gave him all my information and ID.  He asked me why we were choosing to leave his bank.

I told him that because we could not get our money and the fact that they were unwilling to work with us. His response?  He looked at me and said, "oh"  The old fart just kept looking at me and said nothing. 

I then went on and told him our last straw was the $100 CASH deposit that we couldn't get for 3 days. He again just said, "oh.  Well you know we are the only bank that didn't take any bail out money."  I said, "Why of course not, you were using my money and your other customers money you didn't need the governments."

He was not happy with me.  But the fool had the balls to ask if I was sure of this decision.

"Not only am I sure Ira (yea that was his real name!) but your attitude today has convinced me I have done the right thing for our business. Oh and by the way our new bank gives us our money next business day as well as offering us a line of credit, and merchant services at 1/2 your rates." 
He looked stunned, looked down at his paperwork and back up again as though waiting to find the right thing to say and then said, "Are you sure?"  I laughed and said, "I am very sure."  He did not try to persuade me to stay. So apparently I was never that important to him.  He also didn't disagree with me.

Rick and I both have made it a point to share this information with other local businesses we deal a lot with and one has already moved.  YIPEE.  They called to thank me yesterday. They were that happy.

Then this evening just before leaving my office someone from my new banks headquarters in Pittsburgh called to ask if we were happy.  If I was having any trouble with the online services or any of our programs.  I am not.  The representative said because we were new they just wanted to check in and he gave me his number and name so should I  have any questions or concerns along the way to call him.  That is already more service than I ever got from my local bank in all the years banking with them!!

Just another day in the life of the poor service that seems to be most prevalent!

Verizon Sucks...but you knew that didn't you?

I have been in Verizon hell for 2 days now.
To say I am frustrated is an understatement.
I need to make changes in our lives to cut costs anyway we can.
Business is scary slow and things are not great right now.

I have FIOS for my ISP. It is bundled with my home land line. I wish to cancel my landline. Doing so means I will have to pay much more to move it to my business line. I will also be down for 1 day. I can’t afford to be down for one day in business.
Business is bad enough. The logic in that escapes me. It’s location is in the same house. It just goes from one bill to another. When asked why I would be down for a day I was told 3 times by 3 different representatives that this “just is the way it’s done”
Why thank you for your help Verizon!

I went from one Verizon number to another because I am dealing with business line and home line. Apparently the two shall never meet. I was disconnected two times after I asked my questions. Apparently their head exploded. I was transferred 5 times this morning. 5 times and yet aside from selling me FIOS TV no one had a clue as to the answers of my questions.

I then had the pleasure of speaking to a real special gal in customer service today.
This snarky bitch told me that if I got FIOS TV as well as internet and phone then I could get it all for the price I pay now for phone and ISP.
The fact that I don’t wish to have FIOS TV or a phone line means nothing because I am only a customer who should only do what they want me to do. I certainly should not expect to have the services that I only want.
But damn it I only want and need the ISP from Verizon.
She actually laughed and said, “You do realize that is a stupid choice don’t you? You are paying more that way.”
If I could have just smacked the snarky right out of her mouth so help me God I would have.

“First of all Miss I do not appreciate your tone with me. I stated twice now that I do not wish to have your television services and do not wish to keep a land line. I just want internet. I want internet preferably without interruption just moved from one bill to another bill. I do not wish to be charged more. I do not understand how this is not a simple move of my service from one bill to another and pay the same price.”

Her response was, “well if you go to your business line there is a higher charge for the internet service and then we’d also make your internet service faster.”

"You mean to tell me when I got this service and was told it was the fastest speed available I was lied to?"

"Yes and no, we have others but not for the home bundle user."
She said this last sentence as though I was so beneath her, as though a home bundle user was simply white trash.  The tone was amazing.

"Allright. To be sure I have this correct you are saying I can have faster speed but only if you charge me more."

"Yes that is correct."

"Can I just keep the speed I am at?"

"As I keep telling you - NO not if you make a change we don’t allow that."
She said this as though she were the only person being annoyed! 
Which I must say just fried my ass.

"So please allow me to recap here so that I am sure I understand this fully.
I am attempting to cut some of my overhead costs and if I cancel a landline and move my ISP from one bill to another bill which is located in the same home I will end up paying more.
Do I understand this correctly? "

"Yes, unless you add TV and keep the land line. AND SHE LAUGHED.
So do you want to just add the TV now?"

At this point I just wanted to cry I was so damn frustrated.

I can’t change my home business to a residential line for a plethora of reasons too long and annoying to list here. So they have me by the short hairs don't they?

I hate Verizon and sadly Vonage is not an option for business because we have looked into that.

2011 is off to a great start.

Commercials

Normally I don't like television commercials.
I mean isn’t that the best part of having a DVR?
But these “Peggy” commercials crack me up.

There isn’t a day that goes by in my office when someone doesn’t ask me my name.
And when they do I so want to say it like this man does, accent and all.
But I know most won't get what the hell I am doing. 
I would be the only one in on the joke and there is no fun in that.
But I am tempted.
 

This ad below makes me laugh only because I am that woman who stomps her feet and asks for the supervisor then only to get the run around or hung up on.  For some reason her frustration makes me laugh but while it's happening to me I could hurt someone!



The other commercial that I want to mention is one that disgusts me.
It is seriously not funny.
It creeps me out - big time!  It gives me the heebie jeebies.
Look as you all know I lived in a haunted house - I don't freak out all that easily.
But these commercials make me shiver each and every time I hear the announcer speak.

Do you watch Dexter?  I did but only part of the first year. 
My husband has never missed an episode. He loves this show. 
I now leave the room.  I used to read while he watched but this guys voice drove me out of the room.  This show or maybe even more, the character that Michael C Hall plays, is seriously creepy to me and when I did watch I was so stressed he was going to be caught and it was all way too much for me.  I was filled with anxiety while watching this show.  Hell I get enough of that in real life, I don't find that entertaining one bit!

I used to watch Michael C Hall in another show I loved called Six Feet Under.  He didn't creep me out then.  I guess this is a testament to his acting in this show. But he also didn't talk the way he does in the voiceover of his Dexter show.

So when this actor who plays the scary Dexter dude comes on the television telling me about the roomy trunk in this new car the other day I said out loud, "the better to hide the body in my Dodge" my husband laughed. For some unknown reason to a logical person Rick didn't recognize the actors voice until I had said this.  REALLY? You watch this show religiously. 

I'm wondering what the hell kind of meeting went on between the ad agency and Dodge?
Hey you know the actor who does the voice over on the show Dexter?  Oh c'mon you know the  really creepy murderer character.  He talks over the show and explains his thought process as he dismembers his victims bodies? Yea, yea that guy.  Let's get him to sell our new line of Dodges.  Great idea don't you think?  Let's not make them loud like other commercials.  No happy music, just dark and low.  Same creepy voice over like the show too.  Not his real voice, no no that won't do.  Let's use that lurking in the shadows, sick perverted wacko who lives next door and keeps to himself voice.  You know the kind of voice the guy next door would have when the neighbors say after he is arrested, "He seemed like such a nice fella " You know just after he has killed hundreds of people.Yep that voice. It matches the image we want to project with our car! 

In the meantime each  and every time that one of his commercials come on I mute the TV if nearby.
Seriously this dude is creepy people.
I myself will never ever buy one of these cars.
I would be seriously looking in my back seat and rear view mirror all the damn time!

2010 Thankful Moments.

I am so very thankful that 2010 is almost gone – Good Riddance!!

I am thankful I got to experience dog love no matter how late in life – who knew? (okay so Peta did)

I am thankful that it’s uncommonly cold here but no snow!

I am thankful that I have gone beyond that really ugly point of growing out very short hair – finally!!!

I am very thankful that Rick is my husband. (Yes, dear I got that in there for you)

I am thankful for those who made the first wine discovery – Whoever you are I love you!

I am thankful for great hair colorists.

I am thankful that people can’t read my mind most days!

Who knew I’d ever be thankful for the invention of a bra? But I am at my age.

I am thankful that I found a new doctor and am on my way to being healthy again.

I am thankful I was not one of those poor families stranded in New England while visiting family over the holidays– I am very thankful I was not stuck with my family for days. I am so thankful I will say it again – Thank you for not stranding me with my crazy family for days on end with no out!

I am thankful for Tanqueray the best damn gin in the world. (which would be necessary if stranded with family over holidays)

I am thankful for bifocals but not thankful that I need them to grocery shop for heaven’s sake.

I am thankful that my husband can finish the next line in the song I was singing under my breath as I loaded the dishwasher last night. I am thankful he is my age and he knew the next line, “Want some whiskey in your water, sugar in your tea, What's all these crazy questions they askin' me” (He said) For that reason alone I could never date a younger man.

I am thankful for moisturizer that I swore at the ripe old age of 25 I would never ever possibly need on my greasy Mediterranean skin.

I am thankful for bio-identical hormones!

I am thankful that my husband’s eyesight is going at the same time my looks are.

I am especially thankful for all my blogger friends who read me, comment here and send me emails. Thank you for your friendship and gift of your time!

See you in 2011!
Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas

My husband always likes to ask people, “Do you remember what you got for Christmas last year”

You see it bothers him that we put so much importance and stress on ourselves for gifts that no one remembers. Oh, it’s not that he doesn’t want to give. He loves to give.

It started like this...
He pointed out to an old friend of mine who each and every year makes a list of extravagant things (usually jewelry) she wants from her husband to buy her.
(she collects and doesn’t wear or go anywhere)
When she was asked this question by Rick she couldn’t remember a single thing.
She couldn’t remember a thing that her husband, who is on disability, saved to get her.
That was his point exactly.

Rick has asked this question to a lot of people and there has only been 1 person who could list what they got a year or two before.
Of course he never says to that person, “See you didn’t need that”
He normally just smiles and they ask him if he remembers and the conversation goes that direction.
It genuinely upsets him that people can’t remember. He feels that maybe once again we are so selfish and self entitled that we can’t even appreciate a thoughtful gift. And that the whole warm family Christmas is gone and replaced with stuff.

I see his point and fluctuate on both sides of that spectrum to be honest with you.

I sincerely don’t recall a single Xmas gift I got as a child.
What I remember is the feeling. The excitement. The family. The traditions.
The warmth and love in the house. I remember my father told me one Christmas Eve that Santa really didn’t like milk with his cookies, he would prefer a beer. So a beer was left for Santa from that year on. I guess I was too young to ask about Santa drinking and driving. That makes me laugh. A few years ago I mentioned that to my Dad and we all got a kick out of it.
My sisters and I never thought a thing of it. That was our normal.  Santa had Kohler beer with his pizzelles (ethnic cookies) at our house.

I remember all the cousins, aunts and uncles visiting and the food and the smells, the party atmosphere for days/weeks and the snow. I have wonderful and I mean truly wonderful memories of my family holidays. But I don’t recall a single present.
I guess that was my husband’s theory at it’s finest.

Many years ago when he asked me that and I couldn’t answer we decided to not buy one another gifts. Thing was he couldn’t either and it really, really bothered him.
At this time we both were fortunate to have great careers and making very good money.
We didn’t have a need and if we did along the way we bought it.
So we decided to do what my father did every year. We would pick a family in need and anonymously buy them something. We got family needs and names from a different church each year. It was fun to get the information of the family and go shopping.
Sometimes it was food as well as a doll for the little girl or lego’s or whatever.
It was always such fun for us.  We hoped it was a fun surprise for them.

Some years we have bought ourselves something together that we wanted for our home.
But mostly during those times we just bought for others and hoped they would remember.
Those were our new traditions and they made us both feel so fortunate and thankful.
Our friends actually thought we were crazy. No gifts for one another?
:Nope just for others", we'd say.  It seemed to upset them and they asked so many questions. Don’t you feel badly on Christmas morning? Hell no!! Doesn’t it upset you that Rick didn’t buy you something? C’mon what did I need?  Besides we made other types of holiday memories that were fun for us. Kick ass homemade eggnog for Christmas eve with great music and dancing with only the lights from our tree. We have made our memories and traditions they are just without gifts. For some reason that freaks people out.

Besides as you all know who have been reading me for any length of time that my favorite holiday is my birthday. We seriously celebrate our birthdays. And I am spoiled every single day in some way by my hubby I don’t need a special gift from him on Christmas.

Fast Forward to today.
We no longer make good money and have lost those jobs like millions of others in our country. 
Times are very difficult right now for us.
It saddens us that we can’t buy for another family this year.
Sadly, I am sure there are more families this year than in the years past who need the generosity of others.

My wish for those families is that they will be able to make their warm memories of love, family and the feeling of Christmas somehow.

I am wishing all my blogger buddies out there a very Merry Christmas.

I hope it is everything you want and need it to be!

Merry Christmas Everybody! – See ya’ll next year.

The Christmas Party

But I don't want to go!

Yes, I said this like a whiny child on Saturday.
I gave him a ton of hints and he just was ignoring them.
Then I said it outright and he continued to ignore me.

Since having a dog I have met an abundance of people with dogs in the neighborhood.
My husband is the social butterfly of this relationship and he will talk to anyone and everyone. I will smile and say hello and on I go.  Oh no, this man will pet their dogs, chat with them, make them laugh and next thing you know they are pals.  I see them later when walking the dog and they know me now from my dog and they tell me, "Oh your husband is so nice and my goodness he is funny."  It generally will make me have to smile and chat.  This is not what a misanthropic person wants to do.  But seriously I should have been an actress because I fool 'em every time.  Now my husband comes home and tells me how people tell him how "charming" and "friendly" I am.
"I want to accept this award on behalf of all you little people haters out there"  will be my academy award acceptance speech.

My husband comes home one evening and tells me that we are going to get an invitation to a Christmas party.  (Oh great, can I get seriously ill by then?) 

Who Rick is inviting us to a Christmas party?

Dave and Krista

Who the hell are they?

Their dog is Hope.

Well  our dog is lucky...that doesn't tell me squat.

Margaret, you know who they are.

No, Rick I don't know all these people you bond with.

The guy who lives on blankity blank Square.(street omitted to protect the innocent)

Honestly I don't know who the hell this is.

His wife is drop dead gorgeous with black hair and ice blue eyes and carries a gun.

She carries a gun?  Like a purse that looks like a gun?
He is laughing at me now.

Margaret they have the black lab, they are cops.  He is an undercover cop  & he now has long hair remember?

Ah kinda.  I think I remember you pointing him out to me.  I don't think I have ever met his drop dead gorgeous gun toting wife though.  And why the hell did she have a gun you could see?

I saw her when she was coming home as I walked by her house and she was in uniform, she is not undercover.

Did you walk by her home with our dog Izzy or were you stalking drop dead gorgeous woman with gun?

Funny woman.

I knew I did not want to go but I honestly thought, "he may be full of shit and we'll never get this invitation and I won't have to think about it."

But lo and behold we got an invitation on our door. Yipee.
Rick saw it first.  DAMN IT.
Oh he couldn't wait to go.  He heard it was a fun affair, 80+ people and Dave just finished his man cave. (oh yipee)

I whined, I moaned, I promised sexual favors.
It didn't work. He said the sexual favors would be great but I was going and I wasn't going to be anti-social.  He promised we didn't have to stay long.
I began licking door knobs, going outside with wet hair, not washing my hands, really doing anything I could to get sick.
Great.  Fine time for my immune system to start working well.

Come Saturday I tried on outfit after outfit.
I had just gotten a pair of black slacks taken in and settled on them. 
It said casual but you never know what the hell that means. 
I had a major meltdown while trying to style my hair. (still growing out)
I screamed out of frustration and Rick came running into the bathroom and took one look at me and went, "eeww" and left. 
I ran after him and said, "please don't make me go I would so rather stay home and drink wine and watch a movie"
"I knew you'd say that, he laughed, but we're going even if you have to wear a hat on this"....as he circled his finger around my head.
I stuck my head under the faucet and started over again.  It was better but bad hair should be an out to not have to go to any damn party!

The party was lovely as party's go.  I knew NO ONE.
I am great at acting like I am loving this and I am super friendly and outgoing. 
I went to the bar and poured myself a Tanqueray - straight up no chaser of course.
Everyone was young. Most were in jeans and/or clothes too tight and trying too hard.
Ample bosoms falling out everywhere.
Oh to be young and stupid.

Rick was right - the hostess was drop dead gorgeous and nice as could be.
She was warm, gracious and a great hostess getting everyone to talk etc.
Her hubby had made his garage into a man cave complete with heat and huge screen TV.
All the beer was out there along with all the sports memorabilia and the TV with sports playing. (the bar was set up inside with the food)
The majority of the men found their way out there pretty quickly.
These men came in from time to time to get food (which looked fabulous) and or liquor.

I made my rounds and knew as soon as I saw my hubby I wanted to go home.
Everyone was nice but this was not my thing and the majority were so damn young.
(did i say that already?) 
Rick came up behind me and put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, "ready to go home?"
"I was ready before we got here."
So we found our host and hostess and thanked them for a lovely evening and walked home.

I was just about to say, "See how awful that was, why do you make me do this Rick?"
When he says, "See Margaret that wasn't so bad now was it?"

Elizabeth E.

I’ve had to wait a bit before I knew I could write this post.
I had such a sorrowful feeling about the death of Elizabeth Edwards.
Even now as I type this I have tears in my eyes.
Why?  I don't know this woman.  What the hell is wrong with me?

I admired her very much. For all the reasons the media beat her up were the things I admired, her strength and fortitude. Her love of being a mom and putting that first.
For going before congress to tell those rich old fat white men that she and Gov McCain had something in common and it was if they had different jobs neither would be able to be insured because of their health problems! They were speechless because it is so true. I love a woman with balls like that.
And lastly I admired the way she behaved when all the ugliness was surrounding her.
How when the tabloids were all a flutter with story after salacious story about the mistress, the wondering hubby and his child she decided to write her own book to be honest about her story. When asked why she said, “It’s my story and I’m writing it from here on out,” she said, “Nobody else.”  Damn this is an old fashioned broad and I cheered her on.

The first wave that hit me when it was announced a year or more ago that her cancer had returned were her little children. Two weeks ago when the media announced her cancer had returned and there was no treatment my mind and heart immediately went out to those 2 small children. I couldn’t help but cry.

Please don't get me wrong, I know it is very difficult for her adult daughter as well as her adult friends and family. But it pains me more than it should about a stranger to think that those 2 little children are with out a mom.
Rick seems to think this is because I lost my mom as child.
Maybe it does have everything to do with that.
I found that each time something about her illness was on television I always thought of her children first instead of her. How heartbreaking to know you are leaving your children.
But how damn excruciating to lose your mom when you are 10 and 12 years old.

I saw an interview of she and her adult daughter discussing what would become of her children if she didn’t get well. Elizabeth said that the youngest two have their father and she wanted her oldest daughter Cate to take care of them as well. Wow! ....was my first thought.
In my mind that is a big thing to ask of a 28 yr old who is just engaged and starting her career. I felt the pressure. But again I believe that is probably just because of my life and that is what I lived.  I was projecting I suppose.


Besides the alternative to the daughter caring for her younger siblings is their father’s whore. I want to assume that Cate and Elizabeth discussed this and both were okay with anyone other than John’s bimbo.

Elizabeth was a woman with class and dignity. I wish there were more in our world which now seems to be over loaded with skanky types and the likes of Housewives of Orange County.

Christmas Cards

Do you send Christmas cards?

We used to.  In fact way back when we used to send them with photo's if they were close family or friends or even a newlestter - yeah I hear the groans.

But I don't send many now.  My parents and a neighbor at the lake because it means something to both of them.

Even just less than 6 years ago I was sending them.  I remember taking them on a trip with me to the midwest while on business.  I sat in my hotel room and addressed them all so I could send when I got back. I would do most anything to get them out on time.

Over the years the ones we received and those we sent seemed to have dwindled to very few cards.  Are we all too busy?  Is it the expense?  Or just another damn thing that feels like a "have to" during this stressful season?  Is it because everyone now only uses technology so writing a Christmas card is dated? (oh no, not the pen!)
Or is it because we don't send them so we don't get them back? 

Are you sending Christmas cards this year?

Randomness

I have some random items rolling around in this vast wasteland of my head.

Did you see this guy?  You can marry your dog but not someone of the same sex.  We live in a strange @#$% up world. Wonder if you can get your dog on your health plan?  He told his 30+ guests at his wedding that they were going on a honeymoon.  I am ever so curious of where that will be.

You know those lists of anniversary gifts by year? 
Year 1 is paper and Year 2 is cotton etc.
You see I was looking for something for my hubby for a gift.
He always buys me the best thought out gifts.
Our first year anniversary, which is paper, he gave me a calendar.  Now before you think that is a lousy gift keep reading.  He took pictures of things we had done over the years and each month was a different photo of us.  Most matched the month.  Like a honeymoon photo of us in December.  Each month made me smile.  It was so well thought out and planned and that alone made it one of my favorite gifts.
So I looked up year 17 for some inspiration.  Nada, nothing at all to be found.

They have years 1-15.  Then nothing until 20 years. 
Then it's every 5 years after 20.
Who knew?  Did you guys know this?
So I will have to use my own imagination this year.
I'm so not a good gift giver like he is but I try, I really try.

I've been reading a lot of blogs and various articles about Holiday Survival Guides.
Is there really a need for more than just liquor and advil?  Just wonderin'

I got a new coat and it's not exactly a pretty coat but it sure is a warm coat.
Since it is now cold here and it never was in the 1st 8 years I lived here so I never really had a need for a parka before.  Last year during that whole snow debacle I had to wear a coat that was way too big. (remember when I first got sick I gained weight) But as this weight is slowly coming off this coat was way too big and it not only looked ridiculous it wasn't all that warm.  So yesterday in 12 degree weather with 30 mile a hr winds I wore a sweatshirt, a fleece coat and that big old coat over that.  I still froze!!

Late yesterday afternoon the UPS man dropped a package at my front door. 
LL Bean it read and I knew it was my new parka.  I was so excited.  More excited than one should be about a stupid coat.  It pains me to have to spend the money.  I could think of so many other things to do with that money....like you know keep the lights on.  But I'm freezing and can't keep walking the dog with teeth chattering. 
I saw the coat online and put it in my shopping cart.  Then I didn't go back.
They sent me an email that it was on sale and still in my cart.  Hmmm.....
Then they sent me an email that shipping was free and a reminder that it was still in my cart.
So I bought it.  Having buyers remorse until the weather dipped to 15.

So this morning while walking the dog in only a t-shirt and this coat in 12 degrees I was warm. (okay I did have pants on)  Not only was I warm, I was sweating.  I am now in love with my new coat.  It has great little treats that I have discovered.  It has these hidden pockets over your breasts and they are lined in some fabulous fabric that actually made my hands too warm!  A place for your MP3 and goggles.

I am beginning to think this is another sign of old age. 
Seriously, who gets this excited about a damn parka!?

And lastly I found this article to be so spot on.
This man writes such great  movies and television shows.
Who knew he had this in him?
I'm one who is glad he did.

Christmas Flashback

Below is a little ditty I posted in December 2008 when none of you were around.
I think it may be my favorite Christmas video.
(remember I'm a scrooge so of course this is my favorite)



As I said back in '08 this really cracks me up.  There is a lot to hear in this video all at once. 
Yes, it is long but so worth it.

Listen to the PA system in the background while the men are in the "dog house" the subliminal messages make me laugh my ass off. 
I hope you enjoy it too.

Geeky Arrogant Boy

Did any of you catch Mark Zuckerberg on 60 Minutes Sunday? 

I found this kid snarky!
I watched the whole thing and looked at my husband and said, "he is one slimy bastard and I don't think 50% of what he said was anywhere near the complete truth." 

There were times during this interview where his eyes darted and I kept thinking, LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE.  I wished the guy from Lie To Me was there to share with us exactly what his beads of sweat, darting eyes, and wringing of the hands all meant.  I think I know but I wanted to be sure. He is a geek with power.  The only thing worse is a dumb geek with power. I am frightened by them. (see: Palin)

Putting aside your love of his invention, Facebook, do you see that with this guy? 
I think back to when Bill Gates was all over the media for his little invention and he was only 20 something.  Arrogant like Mark but much more kind and philanthropic. 
Geeky not snarky. I get the arrogance for what they have accomplished at such a young age. Who wouldn't be I suppose. I certainly don't begrudge that one bit!

But this guy is a different arrogant. Not for what he has built and done but that arrogant who thinks he is better than you. I suspect he was like this way before he ever became a billionaire. The arrogant  kind who thinks he can get away with murder because he has an excuse and because he is smarter than you. He would deflect when asked a question. Is it the generational difference or is this kid just a shit head as I suspect? 

Deflecting is a sign of lying or avoiding the question to me. Why did he need to do that when one can say, "I'm not comfortable answering that question" unless you are lying. I have seen a couple of interviews with the 2 guys from Google who like Mark are young, rich and smart etc. They too were like Bill Gates in the sense of not being snarky.  This kid is a bad egg to me. 

No, I didn't see the movie about him.  He says the only thing that is correct in the movie were the T-shirts and sandals. Since I didn't see it I know nothing about it.  Did they portray him as a snarky, arrogant, back stabbing, mean spirited control freak? 

I just wouldn't trust this man for anything in the world.
I believe he'd kick your dog and push Grandma if he had to, to get what he thinks he's entitled to.

And since my gut has never failed me about someone it's a damn good thing I will never meet him isn't it?

Sad Senior Moments

I am having senior moments.
Not to be confused with blonde moments.
I am having senior moments too frequently of late and I must admit I am a bit concerned.

I have a topic I wish to write about and by the time I open the computer it's gone. Vanished into thin air.  Completely out of my head.

This morning while walking the dog in 30 degree weather with my teeth chattering I remembered.  I thought to myself that there is no way I will be able to forget this as I headed back to the house. By the time I got upstairs to my office it was gone.  Not a trace of it remaining. I sat and stared at the blank computer screen and nothing came.

A customer called and I spent a lot of time going over colors, options etc. Then the idea popped back to me for a fleeting moment. I thought I should write this down just as the customer asked me another question.  I began to answer and we went off into another area of her remodel and BOOM it was gone yet again.  Aargh!

If this keeps up I will in a rubber room soon.
Senior moment?  Too much multi-tasking? Too much stress?

Friday Notes

It's finally here.
It seems like it took an exceptionally long time to get to Friday this week.
Was it just me?

Some random TV trival notes here.

• I love this show.  Last year was season 1. Season 2 starts this coming Monday and I have gotten the DVR all set and ready to go. Here is a link all about the show.  All 3 actors are so great.
• HBO has some upcoming specials that I am also looking forward to.  Bette Midler, Ricky Gervais and Carrie Fisher.  I read Carrie Fishers book, Wishful Drinking.  This special is a one woman show based on this book.  I have read all her books.  She is so smart but she is also so twisted and funny to me.  She sees things a bit different than most, like Gervais. I think that is why I like her. She can make the darkest things so funny. December is cold here where I live so some good TV is always something I look forward to in winter.
• In Treatment, my favorite show is ending this coming week. I wish the seasons for these HBO and Showtime shows would have a longer season.

Remember how I told you that I don't really like when my hubby goes to Costco?
He stopped at Costco on his way home a two weeks ago and came home with things we don't need again.  He just makes me laugh. Honestly if they had a commercial for Costco they should use my husband.  He holds the things up that he bought to show me and he describes them so proudly.  Like this 2 ton bag of potato chips that could feed an entire school.  No one needs that many potato chips.
He then tells me that "Margaret I have saved the best for last for you"
I am assuming this will be some great cheese since this man is a cheese freak.
Or perhaps flowers because he always buys flowers from there.

But no, it's an enormous box of Belgium Chocolate.

Okay I admit I began to drool.
But my goodness this was  a big ass box.
This chocolate was so rich, smooth and decadent and delicious.
All for only $10 he tells me excitedly.
I love good chocolate and that usually means its not American.
American chocolate is not our best export.
This box is filled with milk chocolate and dark chocolate truffles.
These truffles are dusted with cocoa and chocolate shavings.
If you are a chocolate lover these are orgasmic!

A friend stopped by and I offered her some chocolate. (it goes great w/red wine)
She said, "Oh I'll take a milk chocolate because I hate dark chocolate."
I told her she thinks she hates dark chocolate because she is thinking of American dark chocolate which is usually bitter.  "Just try this , I say- if you don't like it spit it out - I won't be upset. But I will be upset if you don't experience this great chocolate!"
So she tried it.  She moaned. Her eyes got as big as saucers.
She asked if she could have a 2nd piece.....dark chocolate.
I didn't count how many she had but it was more than 2.

Okay I admit Rick did a damn fine job this time.
This is all that we have left.

I am amazed we've had it last this long.
But the weekend is coming.

A movie, some red wine and this box maybe just what the doctor ordered.

Rehash/Refresh

I am blocked......I'm stealing from myself as I have done in the past on things I wrote before there were any followers.
I haven't done that in awhile and Raquel reminded me of the idea. Thanks Roc!

This below is from 2007...
____________________________________________   

I read a few blogs and I have to say I really enjoy a lot of funny men and women bloggers. There are several that never fail to make me laugh.

One such blog taught me a new word. That is always fun even if you aren't playing scrabble. But here is what I want to know. How in the hell could I have never known this word? I am the mere definition of this word. How could I not have seen it or read it in all of my years when it defines me. Was my picture not in Webster’s next to this definition?
How could I have done so well on the ole verbal part of the SAT's if I didn't know this word?

I read her profile and I said to myself she must be my long lost younger sister. My parents had a child that got away....or perhaps I’m adopted. Who knows but could there really be two identical people out there that are open minded, kind, do-gooders by nature that yet have such a disdain for most people? Two adult females who feel the way they do about people and yet work in a people person and customer service oriented industry? Hmmm.....

My new word is misanthropic. An entry I found for this word was as follows.
Function: adjective
1: of, relating to, or characteristic of a misanthrope. (really does Webster think this helps if you don’t know what the hell the word means. Honestly)
2: marked by a hatred or contempt for humankind. (Bingo- see previous blogs below)
Synonym see CYNCIAL

I said to a good friend over labor day how I hate people. She laughed and said, "Oh you do not you are always smiling and laughing." Okay true for the most part but does that mean I have to like everyone because I am generally happy? Can’t I be a curmudgeon with a smile? Another friend said that she knew I felt that way but it was the exact opposite of how I live my life so it wasn’t making sense to her. Oh c'mon let me have this one thing, why the hell can’t I be both? No one is 100% anything are they?

Okay maybe W is just stupid and only stupid -he may be the exception here.

My husband says it’s really stupid people that I dislike.
I am not so sure that’s the only ones but they are sure as hell right up there. Here are a few of those Mensa’s that I have run into this week – tell me what you think.

• A vegetarian who smokes cigarettes like crazy and then tells me that if I eat that steak how bad it is for my body –Vegan’s who smoke giving me a lecture about health!
• How about the nut jobs who think that I should not be allowed to do what I want with my own body. People who call themselves pro-life but believe in capital punishment? Oh so it’s okay to kill once they are out of the womb but not before they are actually formed into a human.
• How about that dumb grocery store clerk who couldn’t give me change because the cash register was broken. The drawer is open so she can give me change if she knew how to count it back to me. She just stared at the machine hoping the numbers would pop up there until I finally told her what amount to give me back. I could have told her anything and the bubble head would have given it to me.

Those are a few examples of my week. Sadly there are more of those morons by the minute. Who is to blame for this? Or are these stupid people breeding more than others?
We need to get them birth control - stat.

Now none of this can be confused with having blonde moments. Blonde moments are funny. Blonde moments don’t hurt anyone. I wish there was another name so blondes wouldn't be offended but we all know blonde moments are fun.
Blonde moments if only moments are not a bad thing.
If you're blonde and Paris Hilton – then it’s not a moment it’s just Stupid.

I am not embarrassed to tell you that I have a ton of those Blonde moments myself.
Two I will repeat here –

It was October a few years back. I was living at a home at the time with a staircase up to our front door. There was an olive bush at the end of the staircase right by the driveway & garage door.
We had friends that had just arrived from LA. They were getting out of their car and my husband and I walked out the front door to say hello. As they were removing their luggage from the trunk my husband and I were waiting for them at the top of the stairs. I got a heavy whiff of the very fragrant aroma coming from that olive bush. It was such a sweet beautiful smell, almost like perfume. My friends down below had just reached the bottom of the staircase by the olive bush when I said, “Rusty can you smell my bush from there?”
At which time he and his wife began to howl and he replied, “Oh Margaret not now, I am standing here with my lovely wife.” And everyone began to laugh. I didn’t even realize at first what I had said but it still cracks me up.

I was driving down the street in my little convertible that I had at the time. It was a gorgeous sunny day. The day before my husband said he was going to clean the car and do the windows for me. I struggle with the windows for some reason and he does such a great job of getting them streak free.
As I am driving down the street I look in my rear view mirror and think to myself, "wow he really must teach me how he gets these windows so streak free"
I go a bit further and I look in my rear view mirror again because seriously I can't get over what a clear window I now have. I get to a stop sign and can't stop looking in my rear view mirror at my back windsheild. When suddenly I realize the top is down and there is no friggin' window/windsheild right now. I laughed out loud and the woman crossing the street with her dog heard me and looked at me like I was crazy. Hell I was! (am)
Now the fact that I went home and told my husband may make me lose a few IQ points I'm afraid.

See not stupid, just a blonde moment.
I didn't breed though just in case.....