Yoga

I have been trying to stretch more. 
I don't know if it is old age shit or just sitting at my desk and only walking for exercise that my hamstrings are so tight for one. 
I am just feeling like I need to stretch as odd as that may sound. 

Because of all this stretching I am trying to do at home I was happy to see a post on our local community facebook page for a yoga class for all levels from beginners to seniors and everything in between. Okay, I fall into a couple of those categories and looked into it further.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that my husband did the same thing.  He just signed up on facebook.  He came to my office and said, "I think I'd like to go to a new yoga class here starting next week."  I laughed and told him I just saw that on FB.  He said, "were you reading that too? Wanna go with me?" 

So tomorrow is our first night at yoga. I will not make the same mistake as last time and stand next to him. Oh no, he makes me laugh and there is no laughing in Yoga.  It's Wednesday evenings to get my stretch on.
I can't fathom liking this. But I know I need this. I love pilates but there just isn't anywhere around here. I can't even think that my leg will go over around my neck unless I am in a car accident and end up twisted that way. 
But voluntarily do that?
Ha, that is funny.

The last time I did this with Rick I quit after 1 class. Rick absolutely loved it.
But after many months, the class could no longer take place in the building they were using and there were no more classes around here. 
He loved it so much he suggested I go with him.
I did and this is why I know I can't be near him in my new class.

The woman in front of us was very "farty" Rick was making comments that made me laugh. Such as, sniff sniff "Oh she had chinese food earlier today." 
I mean c'mon who says that when you are meditating? 
Sick bastard makes me laugh.
I tried to stifle them but c'mon the guy is funny to me and only to me but that is the problem.  I don't understand why everyone gets farty in yoga. Thankfully that didn't happen to me but it may. Who knows. What is this phenomenon?

At that first class I went to with Rick we were on our backs and we were to turn to our left with our right foot and hand. I was now staring at Rick. 
He smiles and says, "your other left Margaret."
And of course being the giggler I am, I laughed. Okay, it was one of my many blonde moments.  BUT this time, the yoga master was behind me and said, "No laughing in yoga!"  That made me laugh all the harder.  Why are things funny when you aren't supposed to laugh?

The last thing that happened that sent us over the edge was a woman in front of us and to Rick's left that had on a very thin pair of leggings.  
You could see she had no underwear on. But that was only half of it. 
Her see-through yoga pants were ripped at the crack of her ass. 
I knew she'd want to know but I couldn't tell her or the Yogi would yell at me again for talking in class. 

Now come on girls, if your ass was showing wouldn't you want someone to tell you this? Especially if your ass is in the air all the time.
Rick whispered to me, go tell her I can't tell her. At that moment, she farted.
We laughed so hard that we had to leave the room and we did not go back in there. I felt bad because she probably thought she did this to us. Well, she did, but it was the whole collective day of me going to the wrong side and all the damn farting. Can someone tell me why there is so much farting in Yoga, please?

The following week Rick went without me and the Yogi asked him if he could behave this week. He promised he would because no one was with him.

So as you can imagine tomorrow I will head to the back of the room and stand nowhere near him! It is a female yogi this time so she won't know me or the fact that I don't know my left from my right.  I will be certain to wear underwear and no ripped pants or shorts. I will not have gas and/or expel said gas in this room with other people.

We can laugh about everything in the class on the way home.

Just a Video Today

Have you all seen this video?

If not check it out - I got a kick of it.

My favorite part is when John Boehner and President Obama are sharing ideas for retirement. He tells the President that he can work on his tan and we all know how John liked to be tan. 

DONE!!

The shower centerpieces were to look like this one on Pinterest.

After a few glue gun incidents, burn salve and glitter from hell all over the place I am done.
Do they look as good as the picture above? NO. But they are done.
I have yet to put the glass beads on the bottom but I'll do that after all are on the table and lit. I can't light them if the beads are there. The beads hide the battery packs.

I have 30 people who have RSVP'd for the shower. 6 tables of 5. So I needed 6 centerpieces but have 2 extra.  I may need them so I'll bring all the stuff just in case.

I leave Friday after work for my hotel. I will check in and proceed to iron all the satin bows for the chairs and the chair covers. I couldn't pack them if ironed.
Besides what the hell else do I have to do in Pittsburgh on a Friday night?
The shower is Saturday and then I will come home on Sunday morning. 
Not thrilled to have to stay two nights. But I don't drive well at night and the turnpike at night is the worst for me. I also don't enjoy driving and 4 1/2 hrs is just as bad trust me.
I wish Rick were coming with me so I didn't have to drive. 

We were watching our neighbors dog Misty on Friday. This teeny tiny dog made big ole Miss Izzy a very jealous dog! Seriously this dog is the size of Izzy's leg.

At 8am on Friday, there was a knock on our door. It was our neighbor's daughter asking if we could help her with Misty. Her father was in Walter Reed and they just found out that he has lymphoma. We were in shock. Of course, we will watch Misty!  

This is the man who gave me wine for snow blowing his driveway and front walk this past winter. He had been sick with pneumonia and had just gotten back to work and I didn't think he needed to be shoveling. I mean, as long as I'm going down the sidewalk why stop? I just continued to do everyone's walk. Didn't deserve wine for that but it was sure nice of him.

I saw him a couple weeks ago and he looked healthy and fine. We had a few laughs when he began talking to Izzy saying, "I can't give you treats because your mom is looking and I got in trouble with her the last time" He certainly does always give her treats. If we're outside and his garage door is open, she runs down there and he keeps the treats in the garage and the little shit knows it. I hear him laughing and her grunting and they do their little hugging dance. She doesn't need treats. But, it really is funny. Izzy even got treats from him at Xmas left on our door step all wrapped up like a tray of Christmas Cookies.  Oh no, not us, just our dog. We thought it was funny.  I am sure we'll be caring for Misty more often while they travel from Bethesda Maryland out to Loudoun county VA. It's a helluva trip for them so I think I'll also make some food so when all the women come home there will be food for them and they won't have to worry about making something to eat or eating fast food. 
I hope he'll be fine. They said it was aggressive and they were going with an aggressive treatment.  It's all so awful.

In the meantime the little dog Izzy really liked now is making her jealous and she is going to have to learn to deal with this. When Rick was holding this little dog on his lap Izzy ran across the room, jumped onto the sofa and took her snout to try to move the little dog. When it didn't work she got real close to Rick and just put her head on his chest and looked up at him and honest to God we both burst out laughing at the same time. The diva has met her match. 

Make it Stop Please.

My goodness between Kelly Ripa being a diva and Prince dying that is all I see on tv, the internet, social media. Seriously who cares?

As for Ripa and her antics because she was hurt, can you imagine at your corporate job if your feelings were hurt, your boss went behind your back and you blew off work in protest, do you think you'd get to keep your job? No, doesn't work that way in the real world where you are not making 15 millon a year. So stop whining Ripa and suck it up.

This "genius" moniker that the media throws around for people is so over the top. Prince is not a genius. Was he talented? Yes. Was he a good guitar player? Yes. Did he write good pop music for himself and others? Yes.
But that is not a genius. That is a million people. In the music industry, there are so many people who have done the same and are even bigger.

I had a FB friends just write on her timeline, "wearing purple today" on the day of his death. A 62-year-old woman behaving like this. 
C'mon get a grip.
When Madonna dies will you wear a cone bra and corset?
When Willie Nelson dies will she fire up a joint? Well, probably. 

I just don't understand this type of celebrity worship. They are just like you and me only with talent (which is subjective) and money.
I guess with this logic I will be wearing a black arm band on a pinstripe jersey because my baseball team is dead.  Has been and will be for several years to come.  It's the 80's all over again. Waaah.

In the mean time life goes on.
I am now living in Rick's world. I don't like Rick's world. It is old people world.
I know you all know about Rick's medical issues this year.
But I have been fine. But then I turned 60. I swear to God that is the issue.
Don't turn 60 - skip over to 61 or something.
My left knee has been barking ever since. The stairs are killing me.
And my whole house is nothing if not stairs. Too many stairs.

I wear a headset all day at work. If I have a call during my lunch instead of running upstairs I can answer it while I am making my lunch. But 9 out of 10 times it requires that I have to go to the computer, which is upstairs. On those days I RUN up the stairs, sometimes 2 at a time. Which is remarkable with my 25 inch inseam. :-)
Now I can't do that. I woke up and it is throbbing. It won't go away. It's been a few months now and it is only getting worse.  Seriously no issue at age 59, turn 60 and my knee is screaming, "YOU ARE OUT OF WARRANTY! HA HA HA HA"

Last night it was so bad I couldn't bend it at all. Not as bad as a torn rotator cuff but by no means pleasant. I used to like my left knee. Now I curse it!

I believe I had taken a page from my parents hand book and will be in denial. Head in the sand syndrome as my husband calls my parents hand book. But it's getting louder this pain, which makes being in denial much more difficult. Now I'm beginning to think this pain is not going to taper off.
But its a fluke right? I'll be running up the stairs in no time!

Yeah, I'm old not stupid. I know I have to see a doctor.
I am beginning to think this is the new entertainment in my life.
Where did you go yesterday Peg? 
See a show? Out to a new restaurant? 
No? You went to the doctors? You had an MRI?

Yep this seems to be my new life.
I hope the doctor is at least good lookin'.

Need to commit a crime?

A blogger told me to use tweezers to move the rings of the sparkly things around the glass vases so to not burn my fingers. That sounded logical to me.

I tried that tonight. It moved it too much and I automatically reached for it to straighten it and I think I burned my fingerprints off my two fingers. So now if you have a crime that needs committing where I can only use these two fingers on my right hand, I’m your gal!! J

As soon as I did it you guys I started laughing and Rick yelled from the other room, ‘what did you do now?” 

Nothing dear is all I told him.

I ran my fingers under water in the powder room and flushed the toilet so he thought I went to the bathroom.

I knew he’d laugh or tell me to give it up and buy them. 

I am not giving up until I have stubs damn it.

I came out and he said, "You burned yourself again didn’t you?"

Damn him.  He shook his head and laughed at me and told me he was buying me a bucket of ointment tomorrow.

So I’m done until tomorrow. Calling it a night already at 7:45p. 

But hey – almost done. Only a few more fingers to go, err I mean a few more vases to go.

I am such a klutz that I am actually finding it very funny. 

And this is why I will not use a saw. 

I may not have fingerprints, or feeling in my fingers any longer but damn it I still have fingers.

The Crazy

This morning I got an email from a customer who's email read sexyslut @ something or another. That reminded me of when Rick was in HR and he would get resumes with inappropriate emails. He was always puzzled how they could apply for this executive position with an email to respond at sexy slut or worse. I too can't fathom why someone would even use that kind of email moniker for a job search.  To me, that is just plain stupid when email accounts are free. Try getting one just for your career search. Rick never hired those folks because he felt if they weren't smart enough to know not to use this he didn't want them in the position they were applying for.

I also remember a resume that Rick showed me. This person was male and was applying for an outside sales position. He wrote his likes. Yes, his likes, as though he was on a dating site. He actually wrote how he liked walks on the beach, wine and it went on and on like this. Rick found it humorous as hell but he didn't want to date him and didn't hire him either. Yea, people are crazy.

Speaking of crazy... I hired a company to repair our portico and paint it. I wasn't the only one who saw the rotting wood on the side of our portico, our nazi like HOA saw it too and made sure we were having it repaired.

They came out in the winter to do an estimate.  I got a copy. The estimate shows a photo of the portico and outlines in detail what will be done and the color it will be painted. It must be painted colonial white or my HOA will have a hissy fit on cue.

They schedule this for April when the weather was warmer.
I called the office yesterday and told them I needed to leave today for a couple of appointments and could they give me a time frame of arrival.
She called me back and said that they would be here between 8 - 8:30am

They arrive promptly at 8:30am. They are barely speaking English and are completely confused.  Or that was an act but, boy they are good actors because they sure seemed befuddled by this whole small job.

While these men were on time, they didn’t have the right color and didn’t know what they needed to paint. How is that even possible?

Now, I certainly understand reviewing the job with me, the customer,  to be sure we both understand the job in front of us. That is important to do and I get that.

However, that is not what took place.

He asked if I only wanted the portico painted.  NO! I want the damaged area replaced with PVC molding to look exactly like the wood one. Then the new piece would be painted to match. He looked confused and I pointed out where the damage was and he said, “OH.” As though this is the first time he was aware of this. Do they not look at the estimate and the nice photo attached?  

I admit at first I just assumed he was upselling but it became clear to me that wasn’t the case.  I asked at this point if he needed to see my estimate.  He adamantly said no.

Then he brought a can of Benjamin Moore towards me standing on the porch. One could see as he was walking to the house this paint was a very yellow white. I said, "You are to use Colonial White." I need to have this match for the HOA.  He replied, “Well, let’s see if this will work because I don’t have Colonial White on the truck.”  WHAT?

I showed him on the estimate where it states to use Colonial White and again explained there is no room for play because this is not up to be, but my horrific HOA.  Oh but he insisted on trying his old can of paint anyway and he was hoping it would match. I think he was really hoping I wouldn’t notice. He put it up against what was there and he said, “No it’s too yellow.” No shit sherlock. Then he said, "no big deal ma'am I'll just go buy some"

How does this company's team go out on a job with the estimate in hand that reads, Colonial White and not have it on the truck?  Or the molding as well.

So now he tells me he’ll be back in 45 minutes or so to buy the pvc molding and the colonial white paint. He is not prepared.

Why would this not be on his truck the night before and have all the supplies he needs for the following days job?

What a complete waste of my time and their time, I imagine they get paid by the hour vs. the job if they waste time like this.

I imagine the work itself will be fine if he returns with the correct molding and the correct color. But I wanted to leave.

Now I can’t make my appointment because who knows what he’ll come back with if I’m not here to see it first.

I certainly don’t have a comfort level now having seen what was going on earlier.

I know if I wasn’t here telling him his can of paint was too yellow it would have been used instead of going by the estimate. Then I would return home and have to deal with the HOA and this company to get it done properly.

I find this extremely unprofessional and a waste of my time. I now have to hang around here for this job to be finished and for them to return with the correct items.  I was told by Ana in their office that he was going to be here between 8 – 8:30 to start the job.

He was here at 8:30, but who knows when he will actually return with the correct supplies and start the job.

While the estimate looks great in theory I don’t know if it all will be done as stated. I am quite doubtful.

If this is more than quoted, which I fear will be his next trick, there will be an even bigger issue.

There were 2 men here this morning to do one small portico repair/replace.

It requires one man since only one can fit on my “porch” with a ladder. So all of this is fascinating to me. I can also see that they must get paid by the hour instead of by the job. Because why else do you show up at 8:30 and drag this 2/3 hr job into 6/8?

As I type this it is 10:30am.  They have not returned. If we ran our business like this we'd have no business. If our men behaved this way, not ready for the job, not prepared, don't have supplies, they would be fired on the spot. No exceptions!

I did get a call from their office telling me he couldn't find the pvc molding at Home Depot so he was going to have to go to another one to find it.  

I'm sorry but all I can say is Fuckin' Unbelievable. 

The man running this franchise should also be fired.

His response to me when I called him (he's the general manager)

Oh well, they will eventually get there and I'll look into it.

Sure you will, but I won't hold my breath. :-)

Where've you been?

Where I've been you ask?
Busy, busy, busy.

I am hosting a shower for my niece about 4 - 4.5 hrs from my home.
I bought the favor gifts, the chair covers, the bows for the chairs. I am now working on the centerpieces. I have the burns from the glue gun to prove it.

This is being held at a winery north of Pittsburgh about 30 minutes or so.
The place is very beautiful. The hall where this is being held has centerpieces that look like something you'd find at an Italian restaurant.
We needed something prettier.

The table tops will be all white so the black chairs just didn't work for me. So I bought the chair covers and bows. The sister of the niece getting married has worked at a convention center while in college so she will be my hero and help us tie all these. She is very good at all that stuff.

The only thing I did not buy or make is the gifts for all the games. The bride had her bridesmaids all make 2 baskets for the giveaways for the games. They all got together and made these. So that was a nice break for me. But honestly I HATE those silly games. Nonsense to me but it's not my shower to say, only to pay.

It's a relatively small group for our family. Just shy of 40 women.
But I'm sure my food & wine bill won't be small. :-)

My own dining room is a mass of shit from Michaels everywhere as I work on these centerpieces. I burned my fingers with the hot glue from the glue gun.
Move your hands you idiot - I hear what you're all saying that.

I put the glue on the back of the sparkly stuff and then pressed it on the glass. Oh my God did that hurt. It came through the little holes which this ding bat never thought of. I had blisters on 3 of my fingers as well as my thumb so I gave myself a break for a few days. I had put the glue on the glass but it wasn't working so well. I would say I did not think this through well.
Or as my lovely husband said, "What the hell is wrong with you Margaret couldn't you see the holes in there? Honestly, you're like a kid."  Yes, he spoke these kind words as he is applying my burn ointment from my last fiasco on my fingers and wrapping them.  Yea, it was dumb. Now it's funny, but oh I wasn't laughing as my fingers were on fire.

I hope to finish them in the next 48 hrs so then I will take a photo and show you all. I hope this is not an epic failure.

This weekend since the weather was great we worked on the things that the HOA insist be completed. What a royal pain in the ass.
I get why there is an HOA so you don't have the nightmare neighbor who's car is on blocks and they have trash out front of their home and they lower the value of your home. But our HOA are definitely little nazis. They just nit pick at the oddest things.

The gravel on the side of my driveway wasn't even enough for them. Perhaps because people drive over it at times. My neighbor got a letter about his mulch having faded on the one side of his sidewalk. They want him to buy new mulch because the sun faded that side more than the other side. He also got one because there was a 2-inch mark on the side of his siding facing my portico. You had to walk on my porch and then face your left to see this.  I think this person who wrote him up had to be so anal retentive. If she had wet her finger and slide it across said mark, she would have removed it and not wasted the paper, ink, and postage.
We accomplished most but not the big one - his truck. Hopefully, this weekend we'll get that done so my list will be empty.

This week is a very busy week for me and then on Friday we have someone coming for happy hour. This young woman is the cousin of Rick's daughter.
She lives here and we don't get to see her often. I posted the article of the photographer who did those 4 pictures of each person as they had wine. She saw that and said, "Hey I haven't seen you guys in forever so how about I bring the wine and you can take the pictures."  Funny how seeing wine made her think of me isn't it? So I invited her to come by on Friday after work. I'm making happy hour food, and think we'll grill up some pizza's and have wine and enjoy the weather that is finally here. It's supposed to be in the 80's today. We go from having the heat on to Oh my goodness it's summer. I would love a couple of months of 65 - 75 degrees. That would be my sweet spot. But Mother Nature doesn't seem to agree with me on that one.

Aunt Flo

This made me laugh.
"I dug a hole in the backyard and you just need to climb in and I'll fill up the dirt before I go" made me laugh out loud. Ah, I get that feeling.

Men - you won't get this. Sorry, it's a gal thang.

The Misanthropic Lady is Back.

Yesterday was a fun day she says sarcastically.

I attempted to reorder our invoices. I went online to the company we have used in the past and hit the reorder button. It gave me a proof and there was a comment box to make changes. I put the changes in required and hit send.
I also paid for this at that time.

I got an email from the company stating they couldn't move forward if I didn't make the changes. I wrote back and said changes were made and to please see the box where you asked for them.

They wrote back and told me the same thing two more times....please make changes or we can not proceed. I wrote back the 3rd time and said, (copied) "Is there a number to speak to a human about these changes or must I do this all by email? I did not see anything on your website regarding a contact us. If there is not a number, is there a chat service because we are going back and forth saying the same thing to one another and it is a bit frustrating."

They wrote back, "We do not like your language so we are canceling this order and you can do business with someone else."

WHAT?  I reread what I sent.  Okay telling them it was frustrating was probably wrong on my part. But we had been going round and round and it was frustrating. When they said "my language" I was floored. I didn't swear. I just said frustrating.  So they canceled my order and I had to find someone else to do this. I went back online to get my original scanned copy I sent them. They deleted it.

I made this all over again and scanned it and found another company and got it completed in 20 minutes time. Changes made in the comments section and re-sent for me to review. Even the proof was done that quickly.
They wrote to me when it was done thanking me for my business.
Very different experience.

Rick suggested I leave a review. Dumb ole Margaret listened to him.
I left a review which said exactly the following. "I have done business with them before and it was always quick and easy with no changes. This time, I did have changes and we had email exchanges that were the same thing over and over again with no changes ever occurring. I told them it was frustrating because in email we were only repeating the same thing. I would have liked to be able to speak to someone on the phone. In turn, they told me they were canceling my order and that they did not want to do business with me. As the reviews below mine states, they are not easy to work with if there needs to be a change."

They then went to our company site on google and left a review that Rick was difficult to work with. First of all, they never spoke to Rick. Second of all, this is not a legitimate review on the company site because they did not have work done. They are in Minnesota, we are not even close to Minnesota.
So I contacted google. They are going to remove the review after they review.
I will hear from them later today.

Today I contacted my bank because they charged me and have not refunded me.
I would guess they have no intentions of refunding me. I gave them copies of all my emails so they can see what transpired and what they wrote about canceling my order. The bank refunded me while they do an investigation.
The woman said to me after receiving the copy of the emails, 'What did you say that was offensive?"  I said I didn't know. She asked if I sent her everything. I said it is all on one page, that was it. She then said, "I bet they have no intention of refunding you" I laughed and said that is why I called you.

I am shocked in one sense that someone would be so petty. I think as one reviewer wrote about them that they are crazy psychos.  I am beginning to see this now.  I can only imagine what they did to that person!

I should never have listened to Rick to review them. What a royal pain in the ass. All I wanted was a human to assist me in the issues with the changes needed.

Is there customer service anymore?
I was on the phone this morning for 45 minutes on hold for Verizon. Issues with email and FIOS. I know they are going on strike soon so maybe that was the issue. But to me, it's unacceptable to have to wait that long for a human to help you.  Or perhaps they expect me to die while waiting and they won't have to talk to me.  I hung up. Still having issues but they don't give a shit so I guess I have to deal with it.

Honest to God I dislike people more and more each and every day.

Wine Photos

Being a wine drinker I found this article interesting and funny. 
This was in the Telegraph (UK)

Brazilian photographer, Marco Albert, captured friends when they had one, two and three glasses of wine and the results are the great photos in the link.

Most in their photos look good, relaxed and happy. At the 3 glasses of wine point they look fun but clearly loaded. 

Here are two people from this article. Go click on the link above and really look at all of them. I pretty much think everyone looks better more relaxed at the 2 glass mark. But then I could be seeing this through wine glasses.

This man's 3 glass picture makes me laugh. I'd like to sit and have a glass of wine with him. He looks fun.



I find it difficult to think I'd be that loaded after 3 glasses of wine like this gal.
So I may need to do an experiment don't you think?



I know what I'm doing this weekend.

The Babies.

I had another hysterical mommy on my hands this morning.
She wrote over the weekend that she found traces of lead in her tub.
She wanted to 'encapsulate' her lead tub. This morning she called me.

Apparently this MOMMY went and got herself a kit and she was using it all around her house. From the sounds of things she will be leveling her home and building herself a bubble. Not sure what her bubble will be made of since everything to her will kill her BABIES.

She whined the term BABIES throughout our conversation. I now have a tongue that is bleeding due to me having to bite it so much and not tell her to chill out.
I understand concern, I don't understand hysteria to this degree.

Look she is lives in a very old home in Arlington. All of these big beautiful homes have cast iron tubs and cast iron sinks. I would bet she has old pipes and there would be traces of lead there too. I also wouldn't be surprised if under those painted walls several layers down or on the window sills is lead paint. These homes are 60-100 yrs old. Come on lady, think!

She said to me in her whiney very loud voice - MY BABIES HAVE BEEN IN THIS TUB FOR A YEAR NOW. THIS IS SO BAD FOR MY BABIES.
(read this as whiney sing songy as she said it)

I did not wish to tell her about all the other places she has possibly got lead.
But I did ask if she had put this kit to work on any of the other fixures in her home. She answered with, "Not yet,We have to buy another kit to continue this."

I felt I had to warn her of the smell of the chemicals used and the VOC's if she were to have us "encapsulate" her tub as she referred to it.
I surely didn't want to upset her but I also didn't want to get to her home and have her flip out on the smell and go bat shit crazy on the technician.
So, she went bat shit crazy on me.
"Oh I will have to rip it out then," she screamed."If I don't have you do it then how much will it cost me to rip it out?" (whiney)
I do tell her that I don't know for certain but it most certainly will be the cost of a new tub, 1-2 rows of tile will be damaged upon removal and the cost of the plumber. Sometimes there is a cost to dispose of the cast iron tub so be sure to ask that upfront.

What does she do with that information? Screams, OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EXPENSIVE WHAT EVER WILL BE DO?  OH MY POOR BABIES! MY POOR BABIES! WE MAY HAVE TO MOVE. (bad me, I wanted to laugh, but I did not)

She only knew the half of it and was hysterical. Poor thing.
So tonight when she makes her family dinner from a box with all kinds of chemicals and drinks her diet pop with its aspertame, invented as chemical warfare, I'm sure she will be talking her husband into the need to move immediately.

Banana Bread

Rick was working on his tablet. I was upstairs in my office.
I hear him sniffing but I assume this is his allergies. I work in a loft so I can hear everything.

A little while later I go downstairs to fill up my glass of water.  I walked by him and I see him sniffing the pillow on the back of his chair.  I don't say anything because I am afraid to even ask what the hell that was about. Then as I am squeezing a lemon in my water I look up and see him sniff his cup and then he went to his shirt?
Okay, I had to ask. "Why the hell are you smelling everything?" 
He said, "I smell banana bread or something sweet and the oven isn't even on.
Did you bake something earlier while I was at work?"

Now I am laughing. I pointed to the candle that was under the candle burner and said, "It's the candle, didn't you see it on? You goof ball. But you are correct it is a banana nut bread scented candle.  Why did you smell the pillow for heaven's sake?"
Rick laughed and said he thought it was something like those things I put in the wash that he loves the smell of so much.   Nope, just a candle.

An hour or more later he yells upstairs to me,
"Hey, Margaret? Wanna make me some banana bread?"

Spring, Don't Leave Me.

It's been spring around these parts for a while now.
Cherry blossoms blooming, my hyacinths blooming and my tulips sticking up there little heads. I bought my hyacinths inside and put them in a lovely vase and that started Rick's sneezing and watery eyes. So I knew spring was officially here.

But then the winds and the cold.
Old man winter is back. He knows I don't like him, he's taunting me.
The bastard.

Last week after having dinner on the patio Rick suggested we begin to 'spring up' our patio next weekend. 
We'd remove the tarps over everything, put the gazebo back together and plant. Hah!  He said it too loudly.  That bastard old man winter heard him and said, "oh no you don't buddy, not this this year"

I had cleaned out the hall closet of parkas and big warm coats.  Aah, it was neat again and tidy with just the light jackets one may need in summer. I brought all the winter coats up to the 3rd-floor bedroom walk in closet and loudly proclaimed, see you next year. HAH!

I awoke to bone chilling cold weather at 5a to walk the dog. I opened the door and closed it immediately. I ran (okay walked) up the 3 flights of stairs and grabbed my winter parka which I was so damn certain I was finished with.
With my head slumped in depression, I walked the dog. Who, by the way, loves the cold and was a happy dog with her tail wagging down the street.

So all those clothes I put away are back out. The wind is the worst of it all to me. Cold is bad enough but add the wind and I'm hating every walk with this dog.

I have realized that if it weren't for Izzy, I would be a hermit.

I bought my husband a new T-shirt

Easter Candy

I just read a headline that said, "What to do with your leftover Easter candy"

Who the hell has leftover Easter candy?  If I had children they would hide their baskets from me. In fact, I would eat their candy as I was filling their baskets. They would end up getting less because Mommy loves chocolate and needs her fix.

Who are these people?  Can I even be friends with these kind of people?
Well now that I think of it maybe I could, I could take care of their leftover candy. See I'd help a friend out.  I'm nice like that.

Another weird person told me they only like peeps when they are stale and then they like to microwave them to be soft.  That makes no damn sense to me.  If you have to microwave them to be soft, eat them fresh for heaven's sake! One can eat a half dozen in no time. 
Or is that just me? Tell the truth now.
I have never had them long enough to get stale in the first place. 

So if you have leftover candy that you just don't know what to do with, I'm telling you right now what to do - Send me your peeps, black jelly beans and all the chocolate you have!  

Izzy The Wonder Dog

Doorbell

Mailman

Burglary

Cheese Wrapper

Teeth

We don't think about our teeth much until they hurt do we?

I got braces on my teeth around age 46 I believe. My top and bottom teeth no longer met when I attempted to chew.
Instead, Rick had to do the Heimlich maneuver.
I would moan that at times when I would bite down to chew on something my teeth would scrape one another. Ooh, not a good feeling.
When that happened I would sometimes choke.
The 2nd time he did this maneuver on me he insisted I go the dentist.

The fun part of braces when you are old is you are the tallest person in the orthodontist office.
Being 5'1" that was a thrill for me. I felt like a giant.
The bad thing was all the reading material was for children. There were even video games to be played and Nickelodeon was on the TV or silly movies like Doctor Doolittle. I was not their target market obviously.

At 18 months I had my braces removed. They took impressions of my teeth the day they were removed.  I had my retainers made and I wore it faithfully until I lost my top retainer 2 years ago.  I don't know how or where. I assume it ran off with my favorite bra. Which made Rick ask, Where the hell are you taking off your bra Margaret?  Obviously, the same place I took off my retainer.

I continued to wear the bottom retainer every night, though. Then at Christmas time a miracle happened. My husband vacuumed. Since knowing him since 1987 he has never ever touched the vacuum cleaner. I was thrilled until I heard a rattle and knew he picked something up that shouldn't have been. He yelled I think I just vacuumed your retainer. What the hell was it doing on the floor?
I had on my bathrobe and thought I had put it into my pocket. Apparently there was a hole that I was unaware of. (yes, it is an old ratty bathrobe but it's comfy)

So now I have no retainer and boy my teeth are moving quickly.
I called my orthodontist and asked if I could get another retainer when all this took place but they said they don't keep my impressions so I would need to get braces again.  I was shocked. I am going to spend another 5-6k because you don't keep the impressions of my teeth which you told me you did keep. Aargh.

So my teeth have been moving. I am not happy. But so far no choking. But my top teeth are not perfectly straight anymore either.
Then the week we were in Florida I began having some pain. It felt my teeth were moving. Just like it did when I had on my braces. That same painful moving teeth pain. I just thought that was what was happening and didn't think much more about it because it came and went.

Then I notice one day that my teeth were becoming a bit sensitive to cold.
It actually occurred while I was walking the dog. Like breathing in the cold was really painful. I know what you're thinking, Woman, close your mouth you ole mouth breather. Well, I was talking to Izzy and no, she did not answer me but while doing so I inhaled apparently. That's my theory anyway.  Wowsa did that ever hurt!

Later that evening it happened again and it has gotten progressively worse.
Last week it was keeping me awake. The pain was crazy. I drink water all damn day and I drink a few cups of coffee. I couldn't drink anything. Then I began to use a straw. That works most of the time but honestly, sometimes water got to my front teeth that hurt the most. My two front teeth hurt so badly I gave up eating and drinking. Not the diet I was looking for. If I touched my front two teeth it sent me through the roof.  But how I miss my daily 2 litres +  of water.

This weekend I had a glass of wine. I don't drink cold wine. (not cool)
I drink red wine at room temp and that too bothered me. So I couldn't finish my glass of wine. I know...the horrors! The pain of no wine on the weekend hurts almost as much as my front teeth.

Friday I called the dentist and they got me in Saturday morning at 8:30a
I really didn't want to be up and dressed to be presentable at 8:30 on Saturday but I really hurt so I had to go.  I had x-rays and I prayed this was a cavity and not another cry for braces or worse. I wanted a quick fix.
A cavity to me would be the quick fix.
But no, that isn't how things work for me.

After the x-rays and the exam I was asked if I used whitening toothpaste.
Yes, I have for about 10 years. Colgate whitening toothpaste I told her.
She shook her head and explained this was the issue. She has apparently seen this often but wanted to rule out cavity or worse.
Apparently the whitening toothpaste can make the enamel thin and other assorted things that have now caused this sensitivity.
What I heard was, yada, yada, yada, yellow teeth!
She told me to buy Sensodyne and act/fluoride rinse. She told me this would get better in a week or so and to follow up with her by a call to let her know. Because if not better this could be a nerve but she didn't think so because my other teeth were affected as well, but the majority of the pain is my two front teeth. That are a bit crocked and that I brush much more. Great.
I left her office and went across the street to Walmart and bought new toothpaste and the rinse.  Knowing full well this was going to hurt (the rinse)

Brushing my teeth about kills me but I am doing it none the less with the new toothpaste and rinsing with ACT all while stifling blood curdling screams.
My God the water kills me. Hot, cold and warm. Cold being the worst.

I am hopeful this will work. Since my teeth never got white with this I don't know why I kept using it. But better than getting braces again although my teeth need them again as well.  Will it really work that quickly?  Or will I die of dehydration first?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Randomness

I was so very excited to read that my hometown beaches got some recognition.
I tell people all the time that while my hometown is not so great, this peninsula of nature trails and 11 miles of beaches is awesome.
It was cool to see it get the recognition it so deserves.
___
My hairdresser gave me a very bad haircut. Honestly, consistency is so hard to find for me in a stylist.  I am getting it colored this week but we are not cutting this for several months until this grows out.  Do you know how you know for certain when it's bad? When your husband notices and says, "What the hell did she do to your hair?"  He got his cut the same day only later that day, maybe that was the secret.  His haircut is perfection.
While in Florida a friend of my cousins who is recovering from cancer surgery and had just gotten out of the hospital a day before I saw him, asked me what I was doing with my hair? See he was being nice about how he said it compared to Rick.  He is a stylist.  He said, "if I wasn't so weak I would fix this" as he was running his fingers through my hair. Great.  I didn't even mention my hair. He just brought it up.  Nice huh? Thankfully it grows but not nearly fast enough - and I own a lot of hats.
___
We don't watch Dancing With The Stars. But my husband had to watch his girlfriend, Ginger Zee, dance. I think it had nothing to do with her dancing as much as seeing her in teeny tiny outfits. So he FF through the whole thing until he got to watch her. Then he deleted it. That made me laugh. I see why he thinks she is all that. He excitedly proclaimed while watching, "ooh, she still has her baby boobs!"   Honestly, that man is crazy. My thought was, 'she just had a baby a mere 2 months ago how the hell did she get so slim so quickly?'
As you can see we were not on the same page.
__

A year or possibly more ago a blogger reader was in my area and called to see if we could meet. I don't even recall now what we were doing but we weren't here to meet her.  I was really disappointed.
She and her hubby moved from the north to Florida for the winters. We made arrangements to meet when we went down there. But all of you know what my winter was like with Rick's health so we didn't go on the original weekend planned. I let her know and we made arrangements for the weekend we would be there. She contacted me and told me where they would be and to meet them. Then the night before we got a text saying they couldn't do this and the reason was rather vague.  I understood and that was that.  They don't need to give me a reason for Pete's sake!
My husband tried to tell me that they didn't want to do this and to let it go - forever. To him it was "obvious" that this was not something they wanted to do and for me to move on.  As usual, that hadn't occurred to me, but now I see that he was probably right and they just didn't want to meet. That is so okay, I get it.
We all have lives and we can't always do what was planned and besides, who the hell wants to meet me.  So we enjoyed our rainy day and it worked out perfectly.
________

Rick has found that he can't over eat or drink too much or his heart skips a beat.
We can't have that. He had an issue while we were away.
Stopped him immediately!
That has really changed his life, let me tell you.

The other evening he ate what I ate. I have never seen that in 29 1/2 years!
I asked him if he was full, he said, what do you think?
So later while watching some TV I sliced some fruit and put it in a small bowl and handed him his "fruit salad."  He looked at it and said, great call, it's sweet and not so bad for me. (Mostly berries and some melon.) So now he has done this in the evening instead of nuts, chips or whatever else he was eating. He has asked me not to bake anything. That in and of itself is remarkable and I wonder how long that will last. I will be the strong one and not bake!

He remarked last night that living like me sucks, how do I do it? Sadly I have to do it to maintain chubby, not even skinny. If I ate all I wanted I'd be 500lbs in no time. For the first time in his life, it occurred to him how little I eat and how women have to do this all the damn time.  As we got into bed he rolled over and began talking to me. He said, "do you go to bed hungry all the time?"  No, not really but there are days. I asked if he was hungry and he said, "I could eat my arm."  I said then let's try eating a bit more and see how it goes until we figure this out. He sure was happy about trying that.

This morning I sliced some turkey breast into a sandwich bag with some cheese. (no bread is killing him) I also put some fruit in his lunch.  No cookies, no sweets and all the things he loves. He looked at it and said, Thank God I can still drink! That made me laugh.  Hard liquor also seems to affect him more than wine.

This is all a new process and we'll figure it out. In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt him to lose some weight so his doctor will stop bitching at him.  To diet for the first time in ones life at age 60 must be a shock. We gals sure know how awful it is from years of experience don't we?

Part 2

We sat on these type chairs on our first day. (Friday) The sun came in and out. In this pic it looks cold and overcast. It wasn't really cold but yet I was getting chilly and put my towel over me when the sun went in.  Rick suggested we head to the pool instead where he told me it would be warmer.

He was right it was like another climate all together. Sunny and warm. The pool was heated and was delightful to me. Rick called me a wuss and then he went in and said, "aah, this is nice"  See?  Not jacuzzi hot, but just right.  Not too warm and not at all cold. There was a jacuzzi in the corner too but I don't enjoy the hot water soup. There were a lot of elderly in there most of the time. There are a couple of pools at this hotel but the one we used is the one outside our hotel room a few floors down.   See the 2nd level off the pool area?  They had family movies there one evening. A bunch of parents and kids were up there watching Mrs. Doubtfire and you could smell the popcorn. Nice idea for the families.

 See that contraption on the bottom of the photo above? That was a chair that lowered the older folks or those with a disability into the pool. I told Rick if anything else happened to him while we are there at least this chair lift was there. That made him laugh. See this sunny shot of the pool below?  Same day. Weird how it was so nice by the pool and so icky on the gulf side.

On Sunday there was a couple in this pool while we were there that made us all get out of the pool. Thankfully it was our last day. This couple was stuck to one another like glue. Rick thought they may just want to go to their room. But no, they felt it best to do it in the pool in front of the kids and we adults. This woman was "doing something to her friend" We could all see what her hand was doing. Someone must have told the manager or someone because they were asked to leave. It took him a bit before he could get out of the pool. Gross. Not enough chlorine for me - I'm outta that pool!

In this picture below from my balcony we watched a drunk woman pee. The bathroom was just a few feet away. That was our first night here when I told you it was a crazy wedding beneath us. She walked over to this area pulled up her dress and peed right there for all to see. I mean to tell you that no matter how much I've had to drink I have never done that in front of people.
Rick yelled so she'd know we were there. She smiled and waved. Go figure.

This foot below is swollen shingles foot. The sun made it feel better and his pain is down to what he called a manageable 2. (on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being the worst)

Friday night we had dinner with my cousin, who I adore.  Bob just lost his partner to heart disease and he's naturally in a bit of a funk. We went to eat at a place he suggested. He said he'd come to us and he'd drive us there. We kept saying it was only 1 1/2 blocks from our hotel we could walk it. He kept saying that we were probably thinking of somewhere else.

He arrived. We hugged, had a glass of wine and off we went. We got in his car, pulled out of the parking lot and we were there. We all began to laugh. He said, "I really thought it was on Madiera Beach not so close to you guys."  We had a wonderful meal and great laughs and conversation.  He asked me if I wanted to see others who lived in Florida. I said, "I know it sounds bad but we just want to relax, play it by ear, we've had a helluva winter."  He said he understood.

Saturday morning he calls and says, "I've invited everyone over here at 3:30p. They are all so excited to see you. BYOB." OMG. we really didn't want to have to do this. Why didn't he hear us tell him no?

But we did it and it was great so there ya go. It rained all day Saturday.
We started off with bacon and eggs for breakfast with coffee. That soon turned into mimosas. We watched it rain and we drank.  There were 3 boys who ventured out into the rain and set up this HUGE jenga game on a table. Never have I seen jenga blocks so large before.
The boys were drenched and didn't care. When it go so high they couldn't reach they moved a chair in the sand to get closer to stand on. We were the peanut gallery and we applauded and boo'd when appropriate. The boys would bow and laugh. We had a terrifically lazy morning and afternoon listening to the rain and watching the boys in the rain as their mom yelled at them to come inside. They never paid attention to her.

I loved every minute of it. No where I had to be until 3:30p and it was warm rain. We ate lunch in our room and just laughed and had a great day. Even had an awesome nap.  Nothing better than a nap.
The video I can't get to be right side up though. Yeah, I sound buzzed. I am....champagne and mango, peach, orange juice all morning long. You'll have to turn your head side ways. :-)



The party that my cousin threw was great. I saw a lot of family I haven't seen in a while and we all laughed, ate, drank and laughed some more. Great fun. So I'm glad he didn't listen to us.  I truly love these people and we had some good laughs and it is always good for the soul to spend time with them.

Sunday we saw on the weather channel that it was snowing at home. WHAT? It was in the 70's when we left. Then we saw that they were getting a cold spell as well coming in Sunday night right here. Oooh boy did it ever. We had no sweaters or sweatshirts of any kind. Hell, Rick didn't have any socks. We ran over to Target Sunday afternoon and he bought a jacket and I got a hoodie. I had to have something to wear home since I only had warm weather clothes. Pickings were slim since we were in florida and looking for winter clothes.
Rick bought himself a pair of socks as well. He wore them Sunday night to dinner and he was thrilled he had them. Boy it got very windy and cold around 6ish Sunday night. We knew we had done the right thing for traveling home with these new clothes because it was going to be a helluva lot colder when we got home.

Monday morning heading to the airport it was 50 degrees and windy.  Again glad we had the warmer clothes to put on. Damn it was cold. Add a sunburn to that and I was damn chilly.
I'm sure now that I am home Treasure Island is warm again. Sadly it's still pretty cool here damn it.

I'm going to leave with these two photos from when we left Dulles last Thursday.
We got to the airport a bit too early. We got an email from United telling us with spring break to give ourselves an extra hour. We did and did not need it.
So we had dinner at the airport at my boyfriends place.  YUM.

But as we sat there my hubby took a pic of this young womans shoes. He asked me if I could walk in them. I laughed and said, "I fall over nothing in sneakers what do you think?"  They are very Herman Munster like don't you think? She walked very well in them.

All in all this trip was exactly what the doctor ordered. Relaxation. Spending time with a hubby that isn't sick and laughing a great deal of the time. Too bad we had to come back to reality.

My trip ...part 1

It was chilly by Florida standards.
In fact it was the same temp as here when we left on Thursday. 70's.
We flight landed at 8pm after a very eventful flight.

At the airport, there was a typical Trump supporter. Uneducated, drunken redneck bigot. He was loud and oh so very obnoxious. He kept telling everyone he had a blowup doll of Hillary and he would only charge you $1.00 to hit it. No one acknowledged him, everyone just let him go on and on for way too long.

Finally, just shy of an hour later we all got up and moved to our boarding line.
He now proclaimed loudly that everyone liked him while looking at me, he was now in line less than 2 feet across from me.
I said, "no, no one likes you."
Everyone laughed. He said, "my mother likes me."
I said, "no she doesn't"  Everyone laughed, some applauded. He shut up. I think he's the kind of jerk that if someone actually stands up to him he will back down.
He was quiet until he sat down on the plane.

We go get on board and Rick and I see we are at the back of the plane but the thankfully the first to board.
I said to the flight attendant, "you have a wild one getting on, you've been warned"  We chatted a bit. She liked my blouse and you know all the girl stuff.
Then the bigot sat came down the aisle and was sitting across the aisle from me and behind me 1 row. He was loud and obnoxious and saying the same shit over and over again as I wrote above and plenty more. The flight attendant leaned down to my ear and said, "Gee I don't have to guess who's going to be a problem on this flight do I?"  I smiled.

He was obnoxious for the first 20 minutes after take off.
A male flight attendant the size of Joe Foreman came over and asked him to keep it down and his opinions to himself.
But flight attendant Joe Foreman didn't walk away. He just stood there staring at the jerk. The man backed down and shut up. He fell asleep and began to snore. People several rows up looked back to see who was snoring like this. To me it was a glorious sound, he shut up.

But sadly he woke up all raring to go.  He began to belittle women. Telling the woman seated next to him that if she were his woman he'd beat her to listen to him and do as he said, he was the man after all. The neanderthal went on and on. Then 3 flight attendants descended on him and told him to keep his mouth shut the remainder of the flight or we would be landing elsewhere and he would have to get off the plane while the rest of us went on to Tampa. He would then be responsible for finding his own way home. The plane erupted into applause.  He shut the hell up - FINALLY.

The flight attendant came over to me to ask if I'd like a drink as they were going down the aisle with their carts. I said I wanted water. She said, "oh cmon, I'm treating you guys back here with this guy - let me buy you a real drink. "
I got some wine. (surprise) But she didn't give me a glass, she gave me the damn bottle. When I told her that wasn't necessary she said, "share....this guy makes me want a few drinks."  So I shared. I made friends with a delightful seat mate. (rick was across the aisle from me and up a row) This man was from central Africa and has been in the states since school in 1990.  He lives in Massachusetts. I asked how it felt to see snow for the first time. He told me some very funny stories about that. He no longer finds it fun.  Do any of us over 40? We talked about what he did for a living and his family (he's married with children) He was a charming man who shared with me that he was going to Tampa for a conference for work. He was jealous I was going for fun. Such a breath of fresh air after that numb nut loud mouth guy.

When we were departing the loudmouth muttered that the female flight attendant was a c-t and that she probably liked Hillary. I guess he just couldn't comprehend that even though we didn't care for Hillary his behavior was the problem and this is not how one behaves in public even though we have a so called presidential candidate who acts the exact same way. Ah, the Trump factor.

When we got to the hotel Rick asked how much it would cost to upgrade to first. I called the airline and paid the $100 to upgrade so we could sit in comfort and away from the people like this fool. It was a delight flying home.

By the time we got our rental car and all that goes with that, we got to our hotel around 9:45p. We were exhausted, to be honest with you.
We got the same exact room as last time we were there. It was perfect.
It has a king bedroom, a small kitchen, and a great size bathroom.

We heard all the partying as we walked to the hotel from the parking lot. There was a big ole St Patty's day party at the bar across the street.  Boy were they ever loud and rambunctious. Then as we got closer to our hotel and we heard more loud partiers. I looked at Rick and said, "oh-oh"

We got our room key and walked to our room, passing by a big wedding party going on at the hotel outside bar area.  This was right under our room. The area goes outside where there is an awning over the area. That awning is under our patio of our room.
Rick said, "This could be an issue tonight. I just want to crash and if this is spring break, st patty's day and a wedding party all in one it may be a long loud night."  I didn't say anything because I too was a bit concerned. Rick would be a bear about this. But as soon as we opened the door to our room, it became silent.
I said, "See Rick, no worries, it's quiet in here"  He goes to the slider door to our patio and opens it. Of course, you are going to hear it all. Then he closes it and it's silent. He was seriously impressed with the sound proofing. I think it was those damn heavy hurricane proof doors. Whew, I didn't want to have to listen to the old fuddy-duddy go on about the noise. I was thrilled.

Friday it was glorious weather. A bit cool down at the waterfront where we were sitting at first. I actually wrapped up in my towel. Rick suggested we head to the pool. It was like a completely different climate there. Warm, hot even, and perfect. And then the fun begins......