Hearing Impaired.

Last night we had another deaf moment in our home that resulted in giggles galore.
We were watching American Idol.
And in case any of you are living in a cave in Pakistan and aren't up with pop culture I will tell you that Ryan Seacrest is dating the Dancing With The Stars gorgeous little thing Julianne Hough.
Julianne was there in the wings and they showed her dancing to Phillip Phillips.

I said to Rick, "She's so cute. They make a cute couple"

He says, "I wonder if she's damp"

I look at him with disgust and say, "What the hell is wrong with you? You always make everything sexual."

He replied, "Why is that sick to you Margaret?"

"Seriously Rick you have to ask? You don't really know?"

He is now laughing and said, "What do you think you heard me say?"
I repeat it.

Now he is laughing and he said, "No I said, Wonder if she's taught him to dance"

"Okay you're right that isn't sick and makes much more sense Rick!"

We are now both laughing like the complete fools that we are and he suggests that I really go get my hearing checked.   He may be right. I'm thinking I may have a real issue here.
I'm glad I grew out my short hair if I have to wear a hearing aid I guess.

" Huh? What'd you say? You think Rick just mumbles? Yea, me too."

Lazy Teens

Right now I can post.
Everything else is still a hot damn mess.
So I am pluggin' away for you my dear blogger friends

Besides how could I not share this wonderful information with you all?
Go on I'll wait.  Read it..
Yes, I'm still waiting for you to read this link.
Amazing huh?

How dumb are people?  Yes of course that is a rhetorical question.
Because as you can see by this article people are dumb asses.

This one is flattering as well.
Oh I'm so sorry honey that I shot you but I thought you were a hog.
Makes Cheney seem like a friggin' mensa!

And speaking of dumb asses.....
This morning while listening to the Today show they had on these people warning us about the hazards of Purell and other hand sanitizers.
Apparently teenagers are using this to get high.
They actually had a woman saying to put it out of reach of your teens.
Not toddlers here, but teenagers.
I say, let 'em reach for it.
It's called Natural Selection.

Damn lazy kids.
What the hell is wrong with the youth of today?
Pot isn't good enough for you?
Talk about your lazy youth.
They won't even go out to score a bag of reefer.
Can't get off the damn sofa? It could take hours, maybe days to find a dealer.
They are so lazy they just go to the sink and injest mom's hand sanitizers.
Talk about a fat and lazy generation.
They probably just got off the couch after playing hours of mind numbing video games and thought, "hey I need a buzz"
Why in my day, we had to have a job to afford getting high.
We would go out and search high and low for someone to score that dime bag of pot.
We got munchies and helped the economy by eating a bag of archway cookies by the truck load.....and pizza and Mickey D's and the candy aisle at any store.

Lazy shits.

Blogger Cluster !@#$

As we all know by now Blogger has changed everything yet again.
I can't even get my blog posts to be a color as before.
Some are, some aren't. Who knows why.

I am not posting until I get this worked out.

See you all someday soon I hope.
Or you'll hear about me on the evening news.
I'll be that person in Mountain View, CA hurting people!!!!!!

Great Weekend

I had a fabulous weekend.

We went to the lake to open the house and see how it fared all winter.
With the exceptions of a few dead stink bugs all was well.

The house has a very closed up smell and we couldn't wait to open the windows and air it out.
It was good weather when we arrived.

We went from room to room and made our lists of things to be done this year.
It's been an ongoing project since we bought the place in '04.

After that we decided since we'll be building, painting, weeding, planting, mulching etc for the next 6-8 weekends we would just play this weekend.

It was great. I was lazy as lazy can be.
Even Izzy slept in until 6am. YIPEE!

Saturday morning we headed on down to the boat and got ready for our first boat ride of the season. I always wonder, "will she start?"   And of course 'she' does.
After our scenic and relaxing boat ride we all were sneezing and wheezing....Aah spring.
All that pollen blowing in your face makes an allergy person and dog quite the mess.
But all worth it!

We napped, we drank, we watched movies, we watched Izzy swim. (Brrrr.....)
Then it rained non stop. So we drank, we watched movies and we napped.
We had a routine and it was a lot better than my 8-5 routine M-F.

My Yankees whooped the Boston Red Sox asses and that just put a cherry on top of my weekend.  I love nothing more than kicking those Sox to the curb.
Saturday's game was a beautiful thing to watch.
We were down 9-zip and we came back with 15-9. 

Now Friday's game was a sweet win because they were celebrating their 100th anniversary of their ball park. All the old timers there and a sold out crowd.
We won.  Taking the wind out of their sails felt good as well.
I saw this front page and it made me giggle.
Crass you say? Why sure, but c'mon it's fun when it's not my team in the loser seat for a change.

We are looking for a new company to care for the lawn at the lake 
You know the mowing, trimming etc.
Since we are not down there every week it must get done.
Especially now that we must rent the home. The guys we have do such a lousy job.
We've been through many and honestly it's frustrating.
They work real slow down there as well as we think they may be mentally slow too.
(The stories I could tell you on that one....for another day)
As we were boating up the lake we came to an area of just woods and farm land.
You don't see much of that there. You instead see a lot of this.

But not much of this below.

After Rick saw these cows he said, "Hey it would probably be cheaper to buy the damn cows to take care of the lawn."

I reminded him we couldn't eat them later because our grass would become too high.

You see I know how my carnivore hubby thinks.

He laughed and said, "Well never mind then."

Shuttle

In the distance and very small you can see the space shuttle.
It was overhead of Rick while he was in his van.
He was so excited to see it Tuesday that he pulled over to get the shot and then he called me.
Honestly if I didn't know it was the actual shuttle I am not sure I'd believe him from this photo.  I saw it on the local news so I knew he was not seeing things.

I used to think when I was a young girl that going into space would be so cool.
Now as an old curmedeogon you couldn't get me to do it.
Unless of course if you told me my family was coming to visit then I may reconsider leaving earth.

In fact when you put it like that I indeed would go.

"Peg, you're parents are on their way."

"Quick Rick, grab my space suit we're outta here!"

My Take on Idol 2012

I watch American Idol every year.
This year the singers are by far the best they have ever been.
But this is the first time where I have actually seen where a person is so damn good vocally but boring as hell to watch.

Back in the late 80's my husband and I were given free tickets to a concert.
We went even though we really love rock music and this was country.
It was the band Texas opening for Trisha Yearwood.
(does the band Texas even exist anymore?)

Trisha is a very talented vocalist. She is as boring as watching paint dry.
Her concert was so bad. There were songs we liked that were bad.
Not because she sung them poorly but because she just stood there and sang.
Her face never changed. She never moved. She just stood there with no real emotion.
Maybe as her career grew she got better. I don't know because I am not into that genre.
But that night she sucked. We still talk about that concert. The opening act was country rock and we enjoyed the show and music. Trisha while so very talented made me want to leave.

I have seen Trisha on her food network show.
She has great antidotes, funny stories and is quite animated.
She needed to do that when she was on stage.

Which brings me back to Idol.
This young woman (I think she's only 17) is vocally in the company of Mariah and Celine Dion. Her name is Jessica.
But she is boring as hell and I don't much care to see what she will do next.
It will just be the same.  Yawn.
Maybe as she matures she will get the rest to catch up with her vocals.
I just don't think it's her time yet to win or to have a full blown career.
Can this intangible be taught?

I really like this kid Phillip Phillips.
(C'mon Mr. and Mrs. Phillips why the hell did you do that to your kid with that name?)
This kid makes me think that if you filled a box with Edwin McCain, Johnny Lang and Joe Cocker, you would get Phillip Phillips.
He's quirky and fun to watch and I so like his style.
I hope he has a long career. I would purchase his music most definitely.

Colton is stuck in the 80's and he's so smarmy.
The smarmy factor is what really bugs me.
The little girls like him so he gets voted through all the time.
He is icky. When I watch him I feel like I need to take a shower.
Smarmy, gimmicky and sleazy character to me.
I want he and his ego as well as his 1980's clothes and hair to go away...NOW.

Joshua Ledet is also great.
But is he marketable today?
I don't know.
He killed a Sam Cooke song last night. I mean he killed it!!
I love the kid but his style is from my generation of Motown and soul.
I just don't know if it would sell today.
I'd buy it but the 'kids' won't be downloading it and that's what they look for right?

The girls....
Skyler is rocking her country songs.
I don't love her genre but she is very good.
She will have a career whether she wins or not.
And boy has she lost weight before our eyes on this show.
She's also so much fun to watch. I see her following in Carrie Underwood's shoes.
She will have a big country career.
Leise I think is very good but never ever picks a good song for herself to show it off.
She will probably not get past this week.  It's a shame because she is so good. The week she sang Led Zepplin was killer. She rocked it man. But she just doesn't pick good songs for her talent.
Jessica - vocally great but boring as shit. So she won't win.
Hollie - first time last night in this season that she was very good. But she can't win.
They called her pitchy last night. We listened to her twice.
We didn't hear pitchy. But we aren't musicians so what the hell do we know.

Now you didn't ask for my judgements but I gave 'em to you anyway.
So if Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez have a sick day I can sure fill in for them.

The Power

I can't wait until the bloggers get to Z so this alphabet shit is over with.
I don't enjoy it. Sorry to all of you playing that game, but I just don't enjoy it as much as your normal posts.

Bilbo wrote a few days ago that he needs more men to his site/stats.
He mentioned breasts. Yep, that works.
I notice that when I write about that my stats are through the roof.
Or if I mention Sophia Vergara....which is just like saying breasts isn't it?
So Bill your next header should just be Sophia and watch those stats climb.

He also had a few cartoons from another blogger about having big boobs.
Since I was born wearing a training bra I know something about this topic.
I have told you all before I have always hated these "girls" and have tried to have them downsized twice now. Each time I did attempt it I was downsized in my job within weeks.
Jeez. So they are still 'hangin' around. Can't afford to do that when one loses ones job. Insurance doesn't pay for this fun stuff either. Now at my age I don't even need them smaller just up where they belong would be swell. You know, just like men's balls my breasts have fallen.

But I have bitched so much about having DD's that I thought I might try to look at the bright side. (yea, right like there is one)
So here are my 'positive' thoughts on having big boobs.

• No one makes you play golf. Thank goodness. They know you can't hold that stupid club that close to you and swing without hitting your boobs. Have you ever seen a female golfer with big ones? This is why.
• When you tell people you hate jogging they tilt their head and say, "aah" because they know why and don't make you jog.
• You can always float  - roll on your back and you have your very own bouys.
• You will never go hungry - food will fall right into your clevage. You will have treats for later. (popcorn for later honey!!)
• You never have to worry about what you say to men because unless they are gay  they aren't even listening!
• If you want someone to hear you or know something - wear it across your chest.
• You always have a place to put your cell phone, keys, or lipstick. Trust me on this. The stuff I have put in my bra or under a boob would amaze you. Who needs a purse!
• If you show cleveage you can get anything you want from a silly man.
• Everyone remembers you....and that isn't always a good thing. Unless you are committing a crime then no one will know you in a line up unless you show your boobs and that can be in your favor.
• They are power. If in a bar, you will get service at the bar quickly, get free drinks and attention. Now if you don't want this power it can suck.
• If you are hating a particular blouse or shirt eat something messy and you will have it across your breast "shelf" in a heartbeat.
• The above happens so much you are so adept at stain removal  & you could give Martha Stewart a run for her money!
• You never have to sit in those diner booths because your breasts tend to lay on the table so you always ask to sit at a table so you can control the length of the table from your boobs.
• You always look heavier than you are and boy that's fun isn't it?
• As you age they lose density and the ability to stay at attention. Their tired you know. And being sympathetic you understand. See that's nice now isn't it?
• You marry a boob man and make him very happy.

Those are just a few positives...she says with dripping sarcasm.
One of my favorite shows in the 80's was Designing Women.
There was an episode where the character Mary Jo was given money from an Uncle that died and he wanted her to do something frivilous that she always wanted to do with this money. So she went to see a plastic surgeon and he suggested she pick a size and "live" with it for awhile. She brought out the 'bigger' size and wore them out in public and found that she had the 'power'.   Here is one clip.
Enjoy the 'power'

Virius Monday

What a day I have had!!!

I turned on the computer this morning and BAM!
Instantly AVG said I had 5 trojans and 2 malware viruses. So the scan began.
In the mean time my MS Office no longer worked.
That is no email, no word, no excel etc.
Which in the course of my day is all I ever use. (besides blogger)

After we got the viruses out the computer was running fine however I still had nothing for work. So I began the process of fixing that issue. It only took me until 3pm.
I could see my calendar which was a great thing to be able to see.
I could not use the calendar to add or delete but at least I could see it which is far more important so Rick and I both know where Rick is going on any given day and time.
I did the trouble shooting myself and I really feared that I was about to lose everything.
Of course I have an external backup and all that but have you ever had to do that shit?
It's all a mess so I didn't want to have to go through that again.

I forged ahead and did it. Holding my breath the entire time.
And voila everything is working.
I must say I am completely and utterly amazed that I did this.
Normally it's a call to some techie geeky guy who charges me an arm and a leg.
I only have 2 left so I had to do this myself.
Thankfully it's all working.....right now.
I must admit I fear what will happen when I come in tomorrow morning.
What a Monday this has been. 

I turned off the computer Friday after work and didn't touch emails until Saturday morning.
I saw on my phone an email from Regan.
She was in my town and she thought we may get together and have a drink or coffee or something. I was so excited however her time here was short and I had people coming over and so many appointments and things to do before they arrived that afternoon so we couldn't get together.
Seriously how cool would that have been to meet a fellow blogger that I have been reading forever?  I so like her too and wish we could have met. I think we could cause some serious laughter and fun. I was bummed but I hope on her next way through, which she says will happen again, we'll catch up. Hopefully this time with more than a few hours notice so I can have her over here for proper drinks and fun!!

Rick did the taxes all weekend and that makes Rick a cranky boy.
It sucks.
I try to stay away from him every year during this time.
The dog and I try to make ourselves scarce.
Even when people stopped by he wasn't his normal self.
Have I told you how much this sucks?

Rick and I are really having the itch to move.
This is the longest we've ever been in one place before.
We don't agree on where though.
And truth be told we don't have the money to do it either right now.
The last 18 months have been financial hell so we are stuck here for awhile.
I so wish we weren't. But in the mean time we are planning our exodus.

He wants warm weather. I don't care.
I say that now that it is 87 today and I wish it were only 70.
I also don't want to go further south. I am not a southern gal.
Too straight up no chaser for the south.

I would love New England. He doesn't want to shovel.
So that eliminates New England then doesn't it?
I want Toronto, he doesn't want to shovel.
I don't care for western Canada so that leaves that out.
You see the pattern here?

We both love, love, love Chicago but again he whines about the snow and weather.
He's turning into a big ole weather wuss. (yea I know I am too when it comes to heat and humidity)

We've always moved for our careers and now that we don't have big corporate careers we can go anywhere.
He keeps saying San Diego because he hears the weather is so fabulous.
But I have lived on the west coast before and I sure didn't fit in.
I think the slow pace will drive him bat shit crazy.  He's not considering that.
Then again it is far from my family and that ain't a bad thing.

So what's a girl who is itching to move do?
I say win the lottery and just travel for awhile with the dog in tow - like a gas guzzling Winnebago. And where ever we fall in love with the area we stay.
Ah, this girl can dream can't she?

GUTS

I don’t normally write book reviews.
1. I stink at them unlike Tammie who is really very good at them.
2. well, see number one, I stink at them.

I read this book in one day.
I couldn’t put it down no matter how many times Rick or the dog insisted on bothering me, interrupting me or asked me to stop reading.
I put it down but would pick it back up again instantly.

The book I just read is GUTS by Kristen Johnston.
(the endless follies and tiny triumphs of a giant disaster)


You may know her as the gorgeous woman from 3rd Rock from the Sun.
This book was fearless, honest, gut wrenching and funny as hell.

She gives you some great back story about her childhood.
At one point she told a story about the pretty mean girl in school who tortured her for years and made her life a living hell. I thank my lucky stars ever time I hear these stories that I never had this happen to me.

She ran into this "mean girl" after she became famous while at home for holidays visiting her family. Her sister and she were at the local mall and this fat overly made up horror show was screaming at her. She just thought, "oh it must be a fan on 3rd Rock"
So she did what most gracious famous people will do and put a smile on her face even though she didn't want to.
Her sister whispered to her who it was and Kristen's jaw dropped.
What she writes after this is simply hysterical and every persons dream when meeting your tormentor years later. I won't spoil it here. But this made me like this broad even more.

Kristen had severe issues with alcohol and opiates.
She liked to call herself a functioning addict.
But she was seriously slowly killing herself.
From all the abuse she gave her body she actually ripped her intestine open.
While on the toilet no less – as she calls it an Elvis moment.
She passed out and the rest of this story is unbelievable.

The ripping of her intestines lead to her intestinal contents spilling into her abdominal cavity.
As the doctor was telling her this he ended with, “you could die at any moment.”
She was in enormous pain but still just thought if she could score some viocodin or better she’d be fine.

She obviously survived the surgery and the serious infection that followed.
All too close for comfort.
It made her face her demons and it was pure hell.
But she tells this with such honestly and humor.
None of it is pretty that is for sure. 
But it will make you think and laugh and be thankful you don’t have a serious addiction that can kill you. 

She said something in the book that I read aloud to Rick.
Then the next day we talked about it again.
It really made me “see” the addicts perspective.
She put me there and I understood it in a way in which I have never understood addiction before.

I really enjoyed her book.
Scary shit but I have learned even to someone in the middle of all that awful addiction reading this  book won’t save them, make them stop or come “to their senses”

It all  just made me thankful that while I can tend to have an addictive personality the other part of my stubborn strong nature hasn’t allowed me to go there.
Whew.

Seriously this is what we argue about?

Last night Rick and I got into this disagreement about something.
Something important you ask?
Why Hell no!

Now how the hell we even got to this subject we can't even remember.
But seriously this had us in laughter on the couch that was apparently so loud we woke up Miss Izzy the Great Sleeping Labrador. She looked back us at clearly annoyed with us. Which of course made us laugh all the more.

Rick insisted that Dudley Doo-Right's horse had a name.
I insisted they never told us the horses name.
I remember Nell who the great Mountie saved.
But I don't recall his trusty horses name.
Do you?

We got to laughing about this and going back and forth with our comments.
We were both too lazy to get our fat asses off the sofa to get on the web.

Finally I got up and got my phone to google this burning question.
Sure enough Rick was right.
Oooh it burns my fingers to even type that phrase, "rick.was.right"
oooh I have chills.

Anyway the friggin' horse did have a name it's name was Horse!
That information then led me to where Bullwinkle went to college.
Ha - you don't know his alma mater either do you?
Why you're welcome for this tid bit. It could win you a game of trivia some day.
Bullwinkle J. Moose (yes that is his full name)  went to Wassamatta U.
Sure sounds like a place that my father should have gone to school.

So you see this is the high brow conversation at our home.
Don't judge; what the hell are you talking about at your home?

Weekend Wrap Up.

Aside from the horrific 7 hr drive it was a nice weekend.
I think I ate and drank my way through Columbus and New Albany.

I missed my dog so much.
But they had a great dog that had my dog's temperment so it was almost Izzy.
The dog has one blue eye and one brown eye.
Cute as cute can be.  The dog too.

Our future son in law was a great tour guide of the city.

We saw a lot of stuff that was cool, pretty, fun and entertaining.

We ate and drank our way through the city and lived to tell about it.

As we were down town walking along the water we saw these swings to our left.

Rick and Jason went and sat on them and began swinging.

Rick kept getting closer and closer. Until he was on top of the poor guy and he put his arm around him. They both burst out laughing at one point.
2 women walked by and one said to the other, "Look at those guys over there"
Rick yelled to them, "Hey, not that there is anything wrong with this!"
The famous line from Seinfeld.

The women cracked up laughing.

Jason cooks the meals and boy is he a good cook.

They made a rack of ribs to die for Friday night for dinner.

They were even so thoughtful to get me Gluten Free Barbeque Sauce.

Oh my goodness were these ribs good.

Slap my ass and call me Sally kind of good.

I keep thinking about them.

I think I need to make some ribs soon.

And finally this link's story will be filed under OUCH!!!....

Free Ice

Our refridgerator 's ice maker has died. 
We are actually buying ice now. It's come to that.
I didn't realize how much ice we use until we have none.
I do drink ice water all day and Rick has his cocktails.
So we need to buy ice  until Monday when they replace my ice maker.
Since we've been buying ice lately it reminded me of my dad growing up.
Buying ice is something that really bothered my father.
When I was young he would buy it to keep the keg cool when his brother and family came over.
That was okay apparently to him. A purpose.
But when I was a teenager he went nutso about buying ice.
I'd want to fill my cooler with ice to go to the beach.
He'd tell me to just use the ice in the fridge.
Remember these?

He thought it was ridiculous to buy frozen water.
"Take them from the tray's Peg, we can make more you don't have to pay for it"
These stupid trays that you ran under water first to "loosen" them.
These stupid trays my sister stuck her tongue to.
(That made me laugh. She cried. )
I am sure he's had to change by now, since we buy bottled water.
I don't live with him anymore so I haven't heard that rant from him.
But as a kid he would go on and on about buying ice.
I never understood his fixation on it but that's my dad.
One can't understand any of his fixations and rants.
That makes him well, my Dad.

Leaving Friday very early morning.
So I have a ton to do and will be gone after today.
I will return with lots to tell you about.

Here is my boy, Robbie Cano, don'tcha know.
Cute Commerical.

In News You May Have Missed

Did you hear that Alec Baldwin is marrying his 27 year old girlfriend?
That makes her literally 1/2 his age. He is 54 today.
I get that an old coot likes a young tight ass.
What I don't get is what the hell they have in common after the sex.

This past weekend Rick said, "Ain't that a shame" because I was whining about some silly thing.
And of course I sang the next verse and stuck my tongue out at him. (You're the one to blame)That made him laugh out loud.
Now if he was boinking a young wipper snapper then she wouldn't have known that reference and make him laugh. 
There are a ton of things like that which we do with one another because we are from the same general decade.  As Rick likes to say, "there has to be something after the O"
Hell this 27 yr old old fiance of Alec's wasn't even born when I was watching Alec on Knots Landing for pete's sake.
Sure a great ass and a six pack is nice to look at but I'd take my ole pot bellied stallion any day of the week. Hell I'm so easy in my old age now I'd settle for a six pack of Molson Ice and a great piece of ass instead. I don't mind that's it's fallen. :-)

In other important news.....
Did you see where the "stalker" of Yankees GM Brian Cashman has been charged with stalking, grand larceny and harassment.  Of course you didn't. I am the only woman you know who reads and lives Yankee baseball.
This woman sounds like a real nut job. Again, you crazy ass men fool around on your wife and then can't get rid of  the mistress.  Karma perhaps? She's done everything shy of cooking the bunny rabbit on top of his stove. She claimed to be a New York Times employee and sometimes used a gadget to make her sound like a man when calling Cashman or his office.
She told the grand jury the voice-changing tool was a gag and denied the other allegations; prosecutors say her explanation and denials were among various lies she told, leading to perjury charges as well. Her attorney said,  this case stems from “a consensual relationship that went bad.”  Gee ya think?  She too is quite a bit younger than the man she is harrassing and they broke up a marriage. So not only crazy but she knew he was married because she would call and harrass the wife.  So crazy and oh so nice of a woman.
She extorted money from him as well.
Yet for some reason even though this mistress was obviously bat shit crazy this man still still messed around with her. Hope it was one helluva great piece of ass.
What a dip shit Brian Cashman is.

Did you hear about the woman from Maryland who has a winning lottery ticket for a 1/3 of the 656 million is claiming while she did indeed buy tickets with co-workers the winning ticket is hers that she bought alone. Oh this is going to get ugly.
Don't quit your Mickey D's job just yet sweetie.

Did you see this?
Someone sent this to me with the subject line.....Can you believe she is only 25?
No, sadly I can't.
Scary to think that a 25 year old has done this willingly to herself.
Drugs and cosmetic surgery aren't so pretty here are they?
She looks to be in her early 50's in the last photo.
The swollen lips make me giggle.
Does anyone really think that looks good?

Scotland and The Bully Trumpster

Do you know the story of  Trump and his golf course in Scotland?
You really should.
Have you seen the documentary, You've Been Trumped?
Watch a clip here
I saw it last year and it's sad and eye opening and typical of the bully he is.
Trump is a horses ass and this shows him in true form.

I love how the people of Scotland are not giving up the fight.
What he is doing is so wrong on so many levels.
And when he gets to his bully tactics of calling people names who stand up to him it just makes Trump look smaller and smaller. I dislike this man immensley.
Yes some Scottish government officials must have taken some money from him to allow these laws to be broken and for this to be moving forward.  That too has the country in an uproar as well it should be.

The people of Scotland fighting hard for their country made this video that I found amusing so play along.
If you really haven't ever read about this event you must go online and read about it.

Here is their take on Trump to the music of Queen's Bohemain Rhapsody.
This muppet is a dead on ringer of his hair and face. Bloated with a comb over.
Too funny.

Godiva won't leave me alone.

Godiva sends me catalogs and emails. Lots of them.
This week it's been daily.
They are taunting me I swear.
They are showing me full sized Godiva Easter Bunny's. Mmmmmmm
They are showing me how good truffles look in an Easter Basket.
Godiva has won me over!  I am theirs.

Is there a mailing list of people who can't live without chocolate or something?
How do these people find me?
If this were alcohol I'd be in AA.
If it were other food issues I'd be enrolled in Overeaters Anonymous.
If it were heroin I'd be in rehab.
There is no rehab for my love and addiction to chocolate.
So does that mean I don't have a problem?
That must be it!  Of course, this is all fine and I can eat it all without guilt!
Yep, that's what I'm stickin' with.


A normal person would just hit the unsubscribe button.
But not me, I like to drool at my desk staring at all the good yummy chocolate-ness of Godiva. Right now it is Easter Basket ideas.
So Mr. Godiva Easter Bunny if you’re reading I want everything in the catalog especially the truffles. I love them all. I won’t be picky. Fill up the basket and drop it off on my doorstep.
You don't even have to wait until Easter because I know how busy you'll be.
See I'm considerate too.
But Mr. Bunny you can skip the jelly beans unless they are black. 
Add in some marshmellow chicks and the Godiva chocolate is all I need.
Now get to it. I'm standing by my door step waiting.

In other news.....
We are going to Columbus Ohio over Easter weekend to visit Rick’s daughter and her boyfriend.
Rick’s daughter and boyfriend (finance) live in sin as my father would say.
Hell she is about to be 32 in a few weeks so she can live in sin or any other way for that matter she is an adult. It should be interesting, uncomfortable and possibly tense.
We are taking off on Friday and heading northwest in the early morning.
I have some serious concerns and so does Rick but I can’t even bring myself to say them aloud.
I hope I am wrong and it will be fine. You know I’ll let you all know.

It’s a 7 hr drive or more from our home to theirs.
Hopefully we won't see any car drivin' gun toting numbnuts on this trip.
We’ll be boarding Izzy at the great place she goes to doggie day care.
She loves it there but when we get home she will be like velcro or a Vizsla dog.
She wouldn’t leave our sides for a week after the last time we boarded her.
It makes us so guilty but she just can’t come this trip.
They have a dog too and if those two don’t get along that would be a helluva time to find out don’t you think?
Besides a 7 hr drive with a dog could be 10 hours and I seriously couldn’t take that long of a car trip. Not sure I can even handle the 7+ as it is.

I have to admit every time I think of that 7 hr car ride I think of my friends Katie and Laura (sisters) who come down to the lake house every Labor Day weekend with 2 kids in the car.
I think 7 hrs with kids in the car could be so much worse than 7 hrs with my hubby.
Right Katie? 

I mentioned one year to Laura that she could certainly bring her golden retriever who is about the same age as Izzy. Her eyes opened real big and she laughed and said,” Oh my God Katie has enough of a hard time dealing with my kids in the car, the dog in the car would send her over the edge.” We both laughed loudly at that comment.
You see we know that every year by the time they get to our house Katie is bouncing off the walls and needs a few shots of tequila.
I am laughing as I type this. I laugh because it isn’t me. I'm mean like that.
If it were me, I’d be with Katie downing a few shots as well.

Speaking of Izzy I found this last night while on the computer.
This is the photo they sent me along with other puppies to choose a dog.
I picked her by this photo and it's so damn cute.

C’mon what the hell is cuter than this and wouldn’t you have picked her too?
I love her but some days I'd love her to be this little again.
Then I remember house breaking.

I gotta run.....The Godiva Bunny is sure to be here soon!

Technology

Remember when I told you my husband can do, make or fix anything but technology?
If it has anything to do with the DVR, remote control, stereo etc I have to do it.
Shhh.....don't tell him I told you. I think he fears they will take away his man card.

I remember when we moved to Seattle.
We didn't have TV for awhile waiting for the cable company.
They finally arrived and handed me all the remotes etc and left.
Rick was leaving for work and said, "do you think we'll have TV by the time I get home?" 
Oh this was too easy I had to fuck with him. "Gee I don't know if I can figure it all out in 8 hrs Rick. You may have to take me to a movie and dinner."  He fell for it. 
Of course within minutes I had all tv's set up, hooked up the DVD player, hooked up the VCR (before DVRs)  and all shows programmed that we needed etc.
He calls this type of event when his TV fairies do it all. (sort of like his laundry fairies)

So imagine his panic when he found out that Dish Network people were coming out on Saturday and taking our DVR boxes and switching them to the Hopper and the Joey's.
Yeah, I know cute Kangaroo names for a DVR is weird to say the least.
I mean this isn't Australia. Anyway I digress....

When I told him they would be taking away our DVR's he looked at me with sheer and utter panic in his eyes and said, "What about all the stuff on the DVR we haven't watched?
How will I know when my shows are on?"

"Well calm down there cowboy it will be fine.
You'll know when your shows are on because I am the one that programs them for you.
I'm still here and I'll program them again for you. 
The shows we have on the current DVR's we can put on an external hard drive and you won't miss a thing."

"Oh."

Then it dawned on him and he turned around and said, "You know Margaret that sounds good but can you really do that and is there such a thing for the TV?"

"Hey mister I'm not just cute I'm smart too."

"Yea, you're a smart ass all right but can this really be done?"

"If it can't we'll find out now won't we?
And listen you better watch it or you'll never seen that stupid ass show Survivor ever again!"
(I HATE that show!)

I love it - I now have the power!

Gun Toting Numbnuts

File this under scary weird shit on the highway.

Rick was leaving a customer and heading home yesterday late afternoon.
He sits high in his van so he can see inside cars.
He loves that feature when women are disrobing in hot humid august in their cars while they sit in traffic. Yes, he loves to share those disrobing stories with his wife when he gets home.
But yesterday that was not his view.....unfortunately.

He looked over and there was a man holding a gun up.
When the man saw Rick he put it down in his lap and put a towel or something over it.
Rick slowed down to get away from this man.
He didn't know if he was going to just start shooting randomly or he was heading somewhere to shot someone in particular.

Only in America people.

Rick looked down and called 911 on his phone.
Because he wears a blue tooth he didn't look like he was on the phone thankfully.
Besides now the guy had moved behind him. So he told the police what he just saw and where he was. The police caught the guy as he was about to enter Rt. 66 heading east. 
Then they called Rick back to pepper him with questions.

They wanted to know if Rick knew him.
Did he point the gun at you?
Rick said he had no idea who he was and no, he didn't point it at me but I was afraid he might the way he was holding it up.
Rick also told them that he was concerned that he was on his way to shot someone and felt he should call the police. 
They asked him what kind of gun.
Rick told them.
The police responded with, yes, that's right. We've got the guy.
Good thing it wasn't me, I don't know my guns since I hate guns.
The police said Rick did the right thing. The gun guy had no identification on him.
Thought that was interesting that the police shared that with Rick.
They ended their conversation telling Rick they had his number should they need anything else.

Gee that's a fun commute home isn't it?
Like traffic isn't tense enough right?  Let's just add in some weapons.
I fear if the guy was riding behind Rick's work van and his company name and number are all over the back he could retaliate.
But Rick insists he doesn't know he called. 
I think the dumb guy can put 2 + 2 together don't you?

Reason # 1, 985, 492 why I am misanthropic.

Be Careful What You Wish For.

Rick used to tell me that line above all the time.
He's right too.
(shh, we don't like to use that word, 'right', when speaking of or to Rick)

I remember driving our boat by our neighbors lake home and I would say, "I'd be happy just living on his dock babe."
Damn! 
Now my lake house is about the size of his dock.
The man is famous so he does bring up the neighborhood as you can well imagine.
I bring down the price of his home I'm sure.
Why didn't I wish for his house? Silly silly me.

But I did share with you all that I wanted to be on The Chew.
They read my blog and have generously invited me to join the show at the tasting table.
Yummy!!! 
To say I am excited is an understatement as you can well imagine.
(what will I wear???)
I go in May for a noon taping of the show. I imagine it will be shown the next day.
I'll keep you posted.

Now I think since that worked out so nicely for me I will wish for this large lottery win right now.  I do believe that 400 million dollars would be a nice wish come true.
Someone asked me what I would buy first.
You know the first few things I'd do have nothing to do with buying anything.
I would see my attorney, my financial advisor and my travel agent.
Rick and I would hop a plane somewhere warm and stick our feet in the sand and just think about what we want to spend this money on and who to share it with etc.
A life of leisure would be a nice way to retire don't you think?
So I have to run now,  I must compose my blog post to the lottery now.

Sounds of Silence

I stopped being political here after the last elections.
I've had enough but this makes me physically ill.
I am not proud of this America.
I read this quote and honestly I agree.

"We live in America where a girl throws flour at Kim Kardashian is arrested, but a man who killed Trayvon Martin is free."

TGIF....finally

Getting way too much spam.....and not the kind that is the number one meat in Hawaii either.
No sadly I am talking super duper spam like 20-25 a day.
My favorites are the Arabic and Chinese.
They may be telling me I'm beautiful and they have money to give me but I can't read it.
Others just have gibberish and then the word fuck is inserted here and there. Lovely huh?

I know ya'll hate the catcha's or word verifications you have to type but I see no way out of it.
I tried monitoring all my spam but that has turned into a nightmare and waste of my time.
So I'm going back to just a catcha - so please play nice okay?

In other news.
We just got stiffed by another realtor for $1700.
Honestly people suck.
And that's all I have to say about that.....for now.

It's too hot.
Thursday was really miserable and today will be worse.
I refuse to turn on my air conditioning.
Thursday afternoon as the hours went on I ended up sitting here in my office with only my t-shirt and panties on.  I was slowly taking off clothes. By 4pm I was melting.

Yes my windows are open. But we are having July weather in March.
It's horrific to me.
It is too hot to do anything and my poor dog feels the same way.
She hates this weather.
Yesterday at lunch we went to our usual place to throw the ball.
This is normally an hour event of chuck-it.
She ran after it 3 times and quit.
She grabbed her ball, turned and walked home. It made me laugh.
So I followed her. We both panted the whole way home.

12 days from today I can drink again.
I will have a chilled Tanqueray Gin straight up and probably pass out.
But it sounds cool and wonderful right now!

It must be spring somewhere in the world.
So I am off to dream of spring time, flowers blooming, cool breezes, temps in the 60's and sunny days.  Aaah.

Online Shopping Horrors

My hubby's daughter sent me an email with a link to a coach outlet.
Now I love coach hobo bags so I took the bait.
If you don't know they are big and there are no horrific logo's.
I hate clothing and bags with logo's. (I am not a billboard)
I found a great looking hobo bag and I used the money I was given for my birthday.
It was 1/4 of the price of a normal coach bag.

You would think being a smart old broad that I would have realized that was too good to be true.
The site looked fine. When I went to order I saw the https which would lead me to believe it was a safe & real site.
I placed the order, received a confirmation and an email receipt.
I noticed later in the day they had debited my account. (used a debit card)
I got an email 2 days later telling me this was no longer in stock.
I choose another and that too was no longer in stock.
So I told them I wanted to get a refund.
Then they informed me in poor English that they would do that but my bank would charge me a 20-25% restocking fee.
I wrote back and asked, "What the hell are you restocking if it isn't in stock? My bank doesn't charge me anything.  I expect a full refund immediately."
They told me NO.
I called the bank and closed that debit card immediately so they couldn't take more from me.
I asked the bank as well if there would be any "stocking" fee from them.
That was a red flag to them just like it was for me. They gave me a temporary refund and said they would start an investigation. It's been 3 weeks that this has been ongoing.

Late last night I received an email from the same person, Wang Cool. Yep that is the name on the account. He said and I quote, "Sorry for my mistake, Your package EE796286743CN �has arrived at the local post office CHANTILLY, VA 20152�, please kindly contact your post office or go pick it up.thanks"

I have contacted the post office and it will be delivered today.
I am anxious to see what I am actually receiving since this was out of stock.

I can't believe with all the shopping I do online I fell for this site.
I am embarressed, yet sharing, being the fool I am.
Here check it out......and don't buy a thing!!

Photo's From Weekend

I have just a couple of photo's to share from the weekend.

My sister actually thought we needed to put 70 candles on my mom's birthday cake.
That made me giggle.
We didn't have a fire extinguisher was the only thought going around in my little head.
They put as many as possible on the cake and our mom sure did blow them out quickly!

I have no idea what my parents are laughing about here but they found it hysterical.

Yes it's blurry but I love this picture so I added it.

And they're still laughing.

Here are 2 of my favorite people below. Yes they are sisters. They look alike don't they?

That's about it. I threw my flip cameras in my suitcase and I never checked the batteries.
So I didn't get any video. I also didn't take a single photo. One of the girls in the photo above did all the photography. It was a busy day.....making sure the food was always full, the drinks flowing, mingle, mingle. You know all the stuff a misanthropic person just LOVES to do. :-)

Here is my sister Jenifer. She is holding my flip and realizing her idiot sister forgot to check the batteries.

But my favorite picture of my sister Jen is when we were in NYC.
This is in her PJ's and in the morning in our hotel. This is so her!!

In other news.....
Rick and my dog are still really suffering with allergies.
I am just waiting for my turn. 
I am also a bit fearful of this weather.
I know, I know, I sound like my negative familiy
Peg, why can't you just enjoy this positive 80 degree weather in March?
Well it's weird. We went from wearing a parka immediately to shorts and t-shirts.
I missed jeans and sweatshirt weather.
I fear July and August.
July will be in the 100's and in August I fear we'll just all blow up.
Just sayin'.....