When you aren't living you really have nothing to write about.
That's how I see my life since March. The drugs and illness are not yet in my rearview mirror but it's getting oh so much closer. Yee-haw! More movement in my life and that feels great!
Days are the same in the thick of this, I don't recall thinking let alone trying to remember what I could have been thinking. Did that even make sense? I recall the illness from it all, I recall the pain but I do not recall say, watching something on TV,(and I know I watched something yet have no recall of what it was about) reading something, or for that matter being interested in anything I would normally be very interested in. Weird right? Lots of napping and lots of restless fatigue.
I'm happy to report that right now I feel like the fog is thinning, I am seeing the end. Hey, no pun intended. I have a couple of days where things aren't good but it gets better as the week progresses. Then we do it all over again but the point is I am having more days where I can function than before and that is great. I am so tired of not living. Rick and I had begun referring to those days as vertical days (good) or horizontal days (bad) The Vertical now are out numbering the Horizontals and it hasn't been that way since this began. Either the combo of the drugs made things far worse or I'm a tough ole broad. I believe it to be the first one. Because this old broad was not tough, this brought me to my knees.
The steroids really kicked my ass I think most of all. What a horrible drug yet it does good for so many. I had another week of only 1 day that there was a nap. Progress! Then finally, my hair has begun to grow. I will need a trim here soon and I like that in one way, not the financial way. My hair has gotten a lot darker on top. Weird right? It's not so white anymore. It's still a color I have never had in my life naturally but hey, it's on my head I'll take it and ride this wave. Of course, Rick said he'd like to see it come in as a red hed. He's never had a redhead before. Yes, that is my woke man, making everything about sex...again. I only encourage his foolishness because I laugh. Two with 12-year-old senses of humor together is not good.
We currently have give or take 161 days until 2023. I'm not good at math so it may be off a bit but we can agree it is more than half over. Close enough, please let me have it, I need that hope.
I want 2022 over. It's been a most difficult stressful year for us.
I will not be sad to see it go - so just go now will ya!
8 comments:
Never underestimate the healing power of a good laugh. I really admire your equanimity while fighting a horrific battle with illness and pain PLUS all the stress of retiring and moving. You may not be tough but you are strong.
Peg, I felt the same way when I had my stroke in 1977, when I couldn't talk, couldn't walk or move my entire right side. I was 27, just got married had a daughter and my wife was pregnant. I didn't want to live and have to spend my life this way. That was then and here I am 72 years old. God gave me a life and He's going to give you more living. To me, you are a hell of a woman. I don't have that many blog friends but thank the Lord, He gave me you. I'll keep praying my friend and you keep strong.
Cruisin Paul
I'm glad you are having more vertical days! Hopefully soon you can look back and laugh at little things that happened in this year.
Keep moving forward through it all and eventually you WILL come out the other side. I'm so glad you can write a post like this because---well, because your illness could have gone down hill with no coming back. You're beating this!!!
Vertical days for the win! Weird about your hair, whose is it?
Trust me, you-are-tough. That you have gone through so much and still managed to laugh says you are the champ. So glad you are having more vertical days and know the day will come when you will think of this time as only a miserable memory. Be well my friend and keep healing.
Except November 2022 could be tough to get by.
Olga, then I should be in good shape because this man I live with makes me laugh a lot!
Paul, I can't imagine what you went through and you were so damn young. I'm glad it all worked out and you are a healthy 72 yr old crusin' the seas. :-)
Julie - I can't wait until we laugh about this.
Jean, Yes I am because i have more vertical days lately than horizontal and that is everything in my book.
Abby, I don't know who's hair this is because it is not the color of anyone in my family or me. I had chestnut brown hair a did my mom. My dads was brown and I have a sister who is blonde. Now I have dark/almost black hair with the white going through it. A new color and I didn't even have to pay for it. best part.
Patti,Good thing I have a bad memory is what I keep telling Richard.
Mike, I may need a coma between the commercials and the rednecks around these parts wake me in December. Oiy Vay.
Post a Comment