As we pulled up to our home the gorgeous red sunset was lighting the sign in such a beautiful way that it almost distracted me from the fact that the evil wench next door is going to be leaving.
As I have mentioned before right here in this space I have always had great neighbors live in this home to my left. Neighbors who we'd see over the fence and before you know it we are all together on one patio sipping our cocktails, sharing our food and stories. People who would call and say, "Hey I'm short 1/2 cup of sugar can you meet me at the fence?" Rick and I have made life long friends with the people who have lived there and moved on.
Then this family moved in. There has been a cloud over the home since then.
The woman who moved in has bitched every single time I've seen her outside about how she hates it here. Every. single. time.
Sometimes I'll just wave and take Izzy across the street just so I don't have to endure it yet again. She never picks up after her dog and that drives me even more crazy to see the poop out front.
I did confront her on that and did so nicely.
She pretended she didn't see all the poop out front.
She actually gasped when I asked if she could pick her dog poo up.
She said, "Oh my I didn't realize my dog just pooped on your lawn."
I didn't debate it or say, "really? she just squatted in front of both of us and you think I'm that dumb?"
Nope I just smiled.
Her biggest complaint is about having to live in a town home because in Florida she had a 4,000 sq.ft home for less money that this townhouse.
Gee, you may have wanted to look into that pesky real estate issue BEFORE moving here. She hates the 4 pools in the development because they aren't deep enough for her mentally challenged son. She said that he may have handicaps but he can swim and their deep ends aren't very deep, just lame. Really? I will give her credit for the one issue she has said something positive about. The schools. The schools here are great and with her son's issue she has found a curriculum that has really helped him thrive.
My husband has a bad habit of naming the neighbors who we don't really know or the one we don't like.
We have The Dirt Bags, The Playboy, The Fish Boy, Redneck Boy, The perfect Family, and Ugly Carrie and Dough Boy.
Dough Boy is married to Ugly Carrie and is literally the shape of the pillsbury dough boy and soft like that too. It really is fitting as is her name.
I know it's not nice, but it does make me laugh.
I can only imagine what they call us.
You see to the right of us in pretty Carrie.
Pretty Carrie always tells us how pretty she is.
The 2nd night we were together she kept showing me photo's of herself and said, "Have you seen a prettier bride than me? I don't think so."
"Look at how beautiful I look here at the pool." and on and on like that.
She's right she is cute but seriously who says that?
I really like she and her hubby, she is just a tad bit full of her beauty.
And seriously who knows, maybe if I were pretty I'd be the same way.
I'm not, so I'll never know what that feels like.
When she heard Rick say "ugly Carrie" while talking about a recent incident Pretty Carrie was proud. It made us giggle. So she gets a real kick out of their names and they feel they are spot on.
One day we came home to these small boulders lining each side of Ugly Carrie's driveway. This impedes Rick from driving over the shared area.
Now sometimes I admit he does drive over them with his work van.
If it really upset them that he sometimes drove over their rocks why not tell us they don't like it and ask us to not do it?
I know Rick would have apologized even if he thought it was silly because he wants to be a good neighbor.
We live on top of one another you must be kind to one another to survive.
But no, they just put them up and when I saw them outside the next day she acted like it was normal. We decided to let it go and not say anything.
They could have just asked Rick not to drive over them or put a tire on them whatever was bugging them. We didn't know that if his one tire went over the rocks they were upset. Especially since we put the rocks there to begin with.
This is the alley behind our town homes and our garages. These are her way of saying - "Don't drive over our small rocks that you bought and laid out here."
When we got home she gave them to us and I said, "You text me about the packages and not about that wonderful sign?"
She let out a hearty laugh and said, "Oh we really wanted to but we knew how excited you would be when you pulled up to the front and saw that." Then she added, "Hey we may buy it! We are looking into it."
You see Pretty Carrie and Kevin rent their town home right now.
I would love it because we'd have great neighbors again and the rental on the other side, well they come and go. (short term shit if it isn't good)
As I walk Izzy I see signs go up and within 1-2 weeks they are sold.
The longest one that has lasted was a house a few blocks away and it took 4 weeks to sell.
So here's to hoping this house is sold quickly and they are back in Florida in no time.
It's a win - win for everyone. They get to move back to their fancy schmancy fat home in Florida, we get rid of them and the real estate market is moving.
It's a win - win for everyone. They get to move back to their fancy schmancy fat home in Florida, we get rid of them and the real estate market is moving.
13 comments:
That neighbor sounds like a complete idiot!!! I'm so happy for you she/they are leaving. And putting up the rocks so you don't drive on them, that's just bizarre!
We name our neighbors too! Well only the 'bad' ones. We have the Burb's on the one side and the Bumpes's behind us. Don't recognize the name's? They were the names of bad neighbors from different movies (The Christmas Story, and The Burbs). The Burb's, while their daughter lived at home, had all night parties that required the police to be called. We'd wake up to trash in their yard, our yard, everyone's yard. We'd complained, the dad (and only the dad) would come out and pick it all up. They're not so bad now that the daughter is married except their nickname is now the 'doggie daycare' (there have been times when there are 20 dogs staying with them!). But overall, they are like them in the movie in that they are 'secretive' about their activities
in and around the house, never seeing them out except for the times that the hubby mows the grass.
The Bumpeses' only have one dog, but oh how they don't take care of him! They leave him outside all day and night to bark and howl. They don't keep up with their yard, EVER. As in, they have an inground pool that hasn't been open in three years, nor have they done anything about the slimy green water on the cover. As slats of their fence break, the stick a piece of scrap wood into it's place. It funny because we live in a neighborhood where everyone takes pride in their yard and then there is them.
On another note, I'll say a prayer to St. Joseph for a quick sell of their home to a really nice couple or single who know how to be a good neighbor.
Lizbeth - bizarre is an acurate discription.
Bonnie - Funny you say that - Rick suggested we plant one in their front yard when they go to sleep tonight so it will sell quickly.
The only neighbors I've ever given nicknames to were the couple who lived in the apartment upstairs from my ex and I in Denver many years ago. I called them the squeak-bangs because every night we'd hear laughter and the padding of bare feet followed by the ka-thump-squeak! of two bodies falling into bed, followed by long periods of rhythmic squeak-BANG!, squeak-BANG!, squeak-BANG!, etc, etc, etc, punctuated by the occasional squeal of delight. Thank goodness we only lived there for six months.
Oh Bilbo that is a hoot!
My neighbors went outside at 3 AM this morning and had a big, loud, crazy shouting match. I hate neighbors.
Hope yours are gone soon!
Jay
The only way it will be a true win, is if you like what moves in! Hope it works out that way!
Cora - Two bad neighbors in a row? What the hell bad thing did I do to deserve that?
I think Rick should go out at night and mess with the rocks. On the closest line of rocks in the picture, move the rock next to wall a little closer to the wall. Move the next two rocks a little closer to the wall. Turn the fourth rock 90 degrees. There will now be a little gap in the rock spacing.
Mike - that's a hoot. He did move them one day and I went into a panic and put them back. I hate the confrontation. It scares me that you two think alike.
Giggling because we name our neighbors too. To the right are the Dumb Asses. To the left is Biggums, Chunk, and HuhBoy. They have a little girl who visits them who is Snacks. Oh, our names are mean as hell but they're all very fitting. The Dumb Asses are self explanatory, I hope. Biggums and Chunk have never been seen with a grocery bag but they get delivery EVERY DAY. The guy doesn't even go to their door anymore, just sits in the middle of the street laying on the horn. HuhBoy seems high all the damn time. He says huh no matter what you say as though he doesn't speaka the English. Snacks is a little girl who can't walk up the three stairs without stopping to catch her breath. I know we shouldn't call her names, and it's the family's fault for having her outside with a coke and a bag of chips at 8 a.m., but calling her Snacks in my head makes me giggle. Because yes, I'm a horrible person.
Arneyba - that is so good to know we aren't the only ones doing this. You know what is really bad about that? When they actually speak to us one almost calls them the "family names"
If you're horrible then so am I.
I should write about each of them and how they got their names. :-)
I love that pretty Carrie saved it for a welcome home surprise for you :)
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