The other day I was bemoaning the fact that my boobs aren’t as perky as they once were.
I made a comment about how “they seem to have fallen and they can’t get up” as I put the tired girls into their bra.
My oh so thoughtful husband told me that it was really okay.
Nice you say?
Well he continued and dug himself a hole, “You know I’m not getting any younger either, now I don’t have to lift my arms as high.”
Oh how he laughed. He thought his humor was brilliant.
Funny Boy then comes towards me and thinks he is going to fondle them after that comment. Funny, funny, boy.
I had a personal trainer years ago when I had disposable income.
(ahh the good ole days)
He would have me do squats and pick up these playing cards he would lay out.
This was all great work for ones butt.
Easy enough you’d think if you can bend over a bit when squatting but he had me do this while keeping my back very straight.
Not as easy as one would think.
Well now that my ass is lying on the back of my thighs I am thinking I should be doing them again. (yes, i stopped because I am a lazy shit)
But now my right knee is acting up.
Why you ask?
Hell if I know!
Just another fun thing of being an old broad.
I just woke up with this knee thing a couple months ago and it’s driving me crazy.
I began doing squats the other day and by the 3rd day my knee was really barking.
Tried again this a.m. and I just couldn’t do it.
Is there another way to lift my ass?
I am thinking time travel may be the only way left for me and my body parts.
Any scientists out there?
11 comments:
You could always have your husband lift your ass back up but then he may, you know, want to fondle that too. ;) It's funny, I just complained that I felt like my husbands father for waking up, stretching my back and then shuffling to the toilet. Ah, good times.
Ok Peg.....seriously.....this will lift your butt back to where it's supposed to be......knees on the ground (you can use a pillow), elbows on the ground, hands flat, back straight.....you know, doggy style....no other way to say it :o(.....then lift one leg up towards the ceiling, with your foot flat,not pointed.....as though you were trying to put it flat on the ceiling. Your knee should only come up even with your butt, so it's not like a full stretch. Do 10, then switch legs.
And don't do this when Rick is in the room.....cuz there will be way too many comments!
Also.....when I was doing PT for my rotater cuff injury.....the exercises they had me do with the rubbery bands actually made my right boob more perky! Of course, this was after about 6 weeks of doing them....and I wish someone had said do them for both arms, cuz them I was a little lopsided! Sheesh! Of course, I don't do them anymore, injury is healed.....so they are even again! Dang!
Let me know if you want the run down on the booby lift! There were several exercises.....and you don't want me making this more of a novel than it already is!
At the risk of sounding very un-PC, one might ask why the concern about suboptimally-perky boobs when we men are severely chastised for looking at them, anyhow. Hmmm...?
Oh my. Rick and his comments. He and my hubby would get along famously. When I was once (actually I should say, one of the many times), I was complaining about body parts shifting my husband said, "that's the great thing about growing old together. Our eyes are going too so everything looks blury without glasses and I can't even see your saggy boobs." N I C E.
Lizbeth - aah, the old man shuffle....I know it all too well.
Regan - I too had rotator cuff surgery 2 yrs ago and I remember those bands. Damn they didn't make me any perkier!! I think these DD's are a lost cause but hell if you wanna send me an email with the exercises I'll try anything! THX
I hugged hubby and he wanted to know if that was a nipple in his belly button.
I hear sirens. Please visit me in jail.
Tia - Nice is right! That is so something my hubby would say. We can't get them together over wine I fear they may just sit and pick on us!
Bill - you silly silly man! We want the girls perky so that they look better in clothing. Because we like them up where they belong doesn't have anything to do with men and staring at them. My husband likes to remind me that Breasts are Eye Magnets. You silly men.
Ms. A - I'll trade ya. :-)
Gene Pool - God you make me laugh. I'll visit in jail....bring wire from bra baked into cake. All women will assist in breaking you out after that remark.
Since I am teaching now I am on my feet and walking around pretty much all day. And since I don't have my own classroom, I am running all around the building and up/down stairs literally 10 times a day. After the first few days, my feet, my ankles and my knees were KILLING. Getting old sucks. And I have a new appreciation for sitting at a desk.
Karen - hmmm....that is a good way to look at it. I may start using that. Otherwise I hope the new job is going well!!!!
I so know what you're saying about the knee. Every time I go to the doctor and she tells me that I need to keep moving or it will get worse, I want to cry and laugh at the same time. Moving makes it hurt but she says not moving will make it worse. Ah ageing you are such a bitch with a double edge sword.
My gf and I have a bet as to whether her boobs or my nuts will drag across the carpet first. Cheers Peg!!
Matt-Man
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