Uncles

As is my custom on Wednesday's I read Craig Wilson's weekly column featured in the USA Today called Final Word.

His story spoke about the new parent doll.
Not only the creepy factor but do we really want our kids walking around with a doll with our face and voice telling the kid what to do? 
Personally I say, "give the kid a damn break"
I would never have wanted my parents yakking at me all the time.
I would've performed surgery on the damn doll to remove the vocal chords.

In the column he had the idea of an Uncle Doll. 
The author says he taught his nieces and nephews a lot of things their parents would never tell them. Fun things, gross things and silly things like whoopee cushions. The typical Uncle type things.

That made me laugh because Rick did the same things.
Rick taught my nieces and nephews disgusting things.
Our first niece and he are extremely close. I did girly things with her like dance classes as she was growing up and then lunch or shopping.  But Uncle Rick she adores!!  He told her spooky stories and grossed her out. She would squeal and immediatly come back for more.

One afternoon he and my niece were discussing terms for going to the bathroom.
I am not even sure how old she was but she was under 12.
Example:
Number 2
Pinch a loaf
Take a dump
...that gross kind of thing. 

I hear this from the other room and come in and ask, "What in the hell are you two talking about?"  They burst into laughter as Rick winks at my niece.
When I ask Rick if this is what a grown up does my niece answers, "C'mon Aunt Peggy it's funny.  Look at how many I've got on my list already."  as she holds out her yellow legal pad. I did not ask why one would make such a list, I just shook my head and went back to what I was doing. This is most definitely their thing.
I suppose in the big scheme of things this isn't so bad.

Most recently after this same niece turned 21 we called the next day to wish her a happy birthday. She went out the night before and was feeling miserable. They talked about the dangers of mixing cocktails (wine & beer for example) He explained that no matter what anyone tells you there really is no such thing as a remedy for a hangover. He discussed the need for a greasy breakfast and why it tastes so good after a night of drinking. (basically he feels one must skip the oatmeal with a hangover) Go for the burger or greasy home fries etc.
It was a 3 way call but I mostly listened to these two laugh and talk about drinking. Great adults examples we are.

When she went off to her 1st year of college Uncle Rick bought her the book, "He's just not that into you"  He wanted her to not waste the pretty on a jerk.  She called when she finished that book so they could talk about it.  I heard him telling her things that made me cringe a bit but she looks up to him and thinks he's cool so what harm did it do to hear it from someone she loved?  And it was great advice. 

Uncle Rick talked to her about the dangers of putting your drink down at a party or bar. Get your own drinks he would say.  He talked to her about standing up for yourself, self defense and the like.  Over the years he has been the go to guy for my nieces when it comes to boys and yes, even sex.  Oh there have been good educational talks but it's true they come to Uncle Rick for fun, plain old silly fun.  Like picking on Aunt Peg. They do that well.

Then every once in awhile there is heartbreak and the serious talk. 
Recently the above niece had her first big love and subsequent break up and thankfully Uncle Rick was just a crying phone call away.
I heard him explain the effects of father time on her broken heart.

Listening to them talk about her broken heart just about broke mine.