MacGyver with a Tool Belt

I must bitch today.

My husband is the MacGyver of handymen. I love that about him.  That is not my bitch today.

I would hold up a picture from a magazine and say, "You know that area in the TV room that the builder made that so and so?  Well can you make it look like this?"

Sure enough I would give him string, a paper clip and a rock and it would be a mission of his until it was completed. He would begin immediately.
It would always be better than I ever expected.  He never ceased to amaze me.
Many times even better than the damn picture!!
Neighbor women would drool over the things in my home or while sitting on my patio - or hell drool over my patio which he also built. 

I was a spoiled woman and I didn't even know. 
I saw it on TV - he made it.  I saw it at a furniture store - he built it.
I saw a magazine photo and he could replicate it. 
I didn't even know how spoiled I was until my friends and neighbors would swoon over my husbands handy work.  They would tell me stories how their spouses/partners didn't own screw drivers and they had to pay people to do this all the time.  I would laugh and think they were exaggerating all just a bit too much.

Then my husband got a job that required him to no longer wear a suit and tie and sit behind a desk.  He was dressed as Mr. Blue Collar.  He wore sneakers or boots to work.  He came home dirty.  He was very happy.  But I was not!

Oh I loved that he was happy all the time now.  But I noticed a pattern. And I didn't like this pattern that was developing before my eyes - not one bit!

First he used to cook all the time.  His meals were like his MacGyver handy man skills.  Give him an artichoke, an onion and a sprig of asparagus and viola he will make a meal that will knock your socks off!  Now he comes home exhausted and is looking for dinner. 
Hello?  What happened to my own personal chef?  Where did he go?  Exhuasted isn't an excuse buddy I'm exhausted too and we're both hungry! No one can make a rue like you. 
I can't make a sauce to go over veal cutlets from my imagination like you. 
OH NO I WILL HAVE TO COOK?  We will all die! 
I have never cooked in this relationship - I baked! 

Slowly but surely I have learned to cook more than I wish to admit. 
Rachel Ray is my new friend.
But I can't make things like MacGyver can with nothing to eat in the fridge yet viola a beautiful and oh so tasteful meal will appear.  How the hell he does this is beyond me.
Each time I would say, "There's not anything to eat in here." as I was standing in front of the pantry or fridge with the door open just starring into the abyss.  He would say in return, "Let me try.  And again something incredible that would be worth money!"

When I met him 23 yrs ago I remember my 2nd time at his home he asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I assumed we would be ordering out.  He opened his freezer and asked if I liked pork chops.  I said, "Yes I do but they're frozen Rick"  He told me that  there is a button on the microwave that says Defrost Margaret. (...tee hee. I never noticed that button I am sad to share with you)

So he whipped up this amazing meal with this lemon creamy sauce and veggies and these unbelievably good cheesy potatoes while I sat and drank wine and watched him.  I was in complete shock and awe.  I should have declared my proposal and love for this man right then when he said, "oh you don't have to do a thing but keep me company in the kitchen"
I can so do that mister!

So today Mr. Blue Collar Work Man is no longer my MacGyver of handy or food.
I have had beautiful mosaic tile and porcelain tile that was purchased last June for our bathroom remodel and it's 10 months later and it's still in it's boxes in my garage.
"Oh I'll be able to do this master bath in 2 weekends Margaret"

I should have asked what 2 weekends in what month and year he was talking about.

So this weekend I bring it up.  But I was smart enough to do it the day after the taxes were completed because that makes him Mr. Cranky Pants.

I asked, " Do you think we'll ever get the master bath done?  Can we make a plan and we could do the demo ourselves and I could see about the cost of having someone install the tile and we can do the rest.  What do you think of that as a plan?"

"No Margaret I can do it all. We don't need to pay someone to do this for us."

"Okay can we make a date to start it? I'm worried this will all be out of style before we get it completed"

"Well I can probably do it the next weekend I'm not working."

"No we're going to the lake to open it up for the season and we have a lot of work to do there."

"Oh yea.  Okay how about the following week then?"

"No because you told me you had to do that order for the countertops for that woman?"

"Oh yea - Jeez - when is my next time available?"

"July - August and you'll want to be at the lake right?"

"I've got it - How about we do the demo ourselves at night and then get some estimates to do the tile only."

"That sounds great I wish I had thought of that Rick."

" You don't need to be snarky Margaret it doesn't become you."

"Oh yes it does Rick....trust me"