Part 2

I went back to see my new doctor (let’s call her dr. Kate) to see how the diet was progressing. I did not know if I had an issue with gluten and for those of you who do not know gluten is in everything and especially everything good. Here is a definition….. the insoluble protein constituent of wheat and other grains (rye, oats, and barley). It is obtained from flour by washing out the starch and is used as an adhesive agent, giving to dough its tough, elastic character. It is a common cause of food allergies. For some people, ingestion of gluten results in potentially life-threatening malabsorption.

The diet was very very difficult but I was determined to do this if I could feel well again. Some of the things I had to eliminate were dairy, breads, pretzels, pizza, breads, cereals, crackers, croutons, salad dressings, pasta, cookies, cakes, pies, soups, gravies, sauces including soy sauce, beer, candy, imitation seafood or meat, luncheon meats, anything fermented or malted, seasonings, condiments like mustard, ketchup, semolina and my god the list goes on and on.

So for 1 month I very little of anything I liked. I was perpetually hungry. I would ask to smell my husbands food so I felt like I was having it. I would make him meals and then eat my own boring ones. I was feeling better within a month….still hungry but feeling better and the swelling was better. I went down 2 sizes in my jeans and my Flintstone feet while still a bit swollen at least looked like Wilma’s instead of Fred’s. However I only lost 1pound – huh? Now I am sick as a dog but I admit the shallow shit concerned me more. I wanted my skin, hair and body back damn it. All this work and so frustrating.

I went back to see Dr. Kate I did not have Celiac disease or a gluten allergy. So now what? Back to the beginning. She wanted me to stay on the diet since I was doing better but in the mean time my organs were failing and she was scared. That in turn scared me.

My kidneys were not functioning at full capacity and we were worried I may have kidney failure as well as my thyroid was all over the place, my adrenal glands were in fatigue and now my liver enzymes were off the charts. I wasn’t drinking when she asked me to stop so that wasn’t the liver issue. Besides I am not an alcoholic and she knew it and she knew that was not what was doing this to my liver but she didn’t know what exact thing it was either. This lovely doctor would call my home just to see how I was doing. She would tell me that she would think of things in the shower while washing her hair and then call me. We were on this mission together. Although we were losing.

On one of my follow ups with Dr. Kate I mentioned a symptom that was new and annoying and embarrassing to tell her. As soon as I mentioned it to her it was like EUREKA! She was so excited. She turned around from her writing and said, “My God I think this is yeast!” I didn’t have what I thought was a vaginal yeast infection so I did not get it. She proceeded to explain to me systemic candida. So she wrote down the name of a book and told me to get it and follow that diet to the T. She said that could be why I was feeling better on the gluten free diet but not getting well. Most yeast foods or foods that feed the yeast are gluten and that was helping. So off I go with another diet that was even more difficult than the 1st one but now I was used to not eating anything much so no big deal if I could get well. This diet you couldn’t even have fruit and it was last summer and it was a killer for me. I love summer fruit…….but it’s sugar.

There was a die off of symptoms that made my own symptoms so bad that I was bed ridden for 2 days. It was bad. (The leg pain is mind numbing and yes I had one doctor tell me it was fibromyalgia.) But after that all was going well. But it only got me so far.
I stayed on this way of eating for 19months. So hungry most days. I really couldn’t eat much of anything. My big treat was usually a handful of raw almonds. WHOPPEE.
I lost another whole 1 lb during that 19 months. (exercising as well) My husband was so shocked he kept thinking I would be so skinny after that. But not lucky me.

This is a stubborn and tricky disease to kill. Apparently I have had this forever so it was going to take longer. The symptoms of this disease mimic hypothyroidism. Sometimes even lending itself to causing hypothyroidism. After a year I felt like I got only so far and couldn’t get further – a plateau of sorts. Sometimes I would have these awful flare ups and I didn’t eat anything wrong so we never knew why.

Dr. Kate moved to a new practice and they too did not take insurance. Here I was paying $903.00 a month for health insurance and no fucking doctors were taking insurance anymore here in DC Metro. The office she moved to would not allow me to go off site to have the blood work done at a Blue Cross/Anthem in network lab. So now I had to pay $250 for a doctor’s visit and $600 for blood work and $903 a month for health care that wasn’t doing anything for me. I had to leave her. I could not financially afford this and hope to be able to live. But by this time my kidneys were really working, I was peeing all the time, the liver was still not where it needed to be and my adrenals and thyroid won’t either but we were going in the right direction.

I went to another doctor who’s toupee was such a distraction for me. There were times he spoke and all I could think of was just reaching over the desk and straightening out his damn crocked toupee. He constantly told me over and over how Suzanne Somers came to his clinic in Santa Monica. BFD I wanted to scream at him.

He gave me a lot of herbs and supplements and I was getting no where. He had me do the dreaded stool sample and it showed Candida Albians. Surprise! So Dr. Kate was correct I did indeed have this dreadful issue/disease. But Dr. Toupee didn’t have a clue where to go next since the diet was doing nothing for me and neither were his holistic herbs and supplements. A year of this and I was at another stand still. He allowed me to introduce some foods and to see how this affected me. Sugar feeds yeast. I found I could take some sugar in moderation and it was okay but really best if none. I found that Gin or Vodka was okay with no reaction. YIPEE –I could at least drink to forget my problems I suppose. I had to drink Gin alone without my tonic because tonic has sugar. Sugar free tonic sucks. And I will not ingest aspartame & most sugar substitute shit is made with the toxic chemical of aspartame. I have found a sugar substitute I love and its natural so I can make my lemonade or even my kool-aid if wanted.
I have never liked pop so no issue there. But beer, wine and other fun drinks I sure do miss – big time!!!

This toupee nut job got me to another level of feeling well but not cured. The organ issues were the same. But I couldn’t keep going when he was clueless and it was so expensive since he didn’t take insurance.
I actually considered dropping insurance but what if God forbid I did have to go to the hospital those bills would bankrupt us I feared. So onward I went.

I began doing my own internet and library research. I found some wonderful information on the net. I bought a product which got me to another level and then I hit a wall again. But a couple more symptoms were gone.

Then I did a colon cleanse and it got me to another level – even more symptoms were gone. But still not well. My last visit with Dr. Kate she asked to take me off the thyroid medication to start fresh and get this fixed and since that was affecting my thyroid to see how it was when we completed it all. So I have been off my thyroid medication now for over a year and only doing this friggin’ diet and supplements and the colon cleanse.

I found another local doctor who had this himself and his practice isn’t far from my home. I go to see him on August 31st. And as most doctors here, he does not take insurance. I have a good feeling but I don’t want to get my hopes up. But I kind of am and I know it but it’s so hard not to.

Sometimes I try to think, was I ever mean to fat people? Is that why I have been given this? Is there a lesson here for me to learn? Am I not empathic enough to people who are ill or who have life threatening illnesses? What is this all about? Sometimes I even think that since I won the lottery in a husband that I may be getting paid back. You know, you can’t have everything. I don’t know but I don’t understand why this can’t get fixed. Why can’t anyone help me? I am doing my due diligence and I work very hard at making myself well. I watch others who eat like pigs and are thin or that smoke and never get sick or who do all things wrong and live great lives. What else can I do?

Most doctors don’t even know about this. Others don’t believe it. God how I hate doctors! Their arrogance is astounding.

So here I am today – it has been since 1989 that I have been gaining weight and feeling like shit. I am still swollen, in pain, and wishing like hell I could have the body I deserved and not the body I have been given of late. I have been worse, oh much worse. I have been larger and I have been oh so much more swollen. But I am still not normal and no one knows what to do. Okay normal is not what I am going for – I’ll never be normal…..I’m going for healthy and well.
I want all my symptoms to go away, I want my weight back to normal and I want to be pain free. Apparently that is a lot to ask for.

Today I eat nothing with yeast and of course no sugar to feed yeast. I sometimes will have salad dressing or cheese with no reaction. After 19 months on that diet and it didn’t help me I have bent the rules at times. I don’t believe that the diet alone is the answer. And neither did my doctors but who knows. I do miss food. I would give my right arm to share a bottle of wine with my husband….weekly….hey a girl can dream.

Stay tuned for what happens after I see the new doctor. I also will share what is going on with Izzy and how it pertains to a lot of the same things.

But for now….There is actually some good in all of this…I finally found it. When I was 112lbs my big ole boobs really looked big. I was very self conscious of them even though everyone wanted them. Buying clothes was so difficult because a shirt would fit everywhere but the boobs. And unlike Pamela Anderson I prefer to not have my buttons pulling and looking as though the boobs are trying to escape. Now that I am fat you don’t notice the boobs as much and it’s easier to get clothes because my body has caught up to the chest.
I guess that can be the silver lining in this story…..it’s pathetic but it’s all I have right now.