Cookies....Part 2

Now that the cookies were perfect we had other issues to deal with.

I went to the artist at the Yellow Pages and asked if he could draw our product for us when he wasn’t working. I showed him our prototype and he made a great drawing. He was freelancing and it worked for both of us. He made some extra money and we didn’t have to pay an arm and a leg. It took a few tries but we got it where we wanted it to be.


We immediately got this logo trademarked. That drawing was on all our paperwork, business cards, advertising etc. Thanks to the library we did this registered trademark without attorneys and just the cost of doing it which saved us thousands of dollars. We made a trademark of our name, the logo and the font as well. Everything was licensed accordingly by law. Later when attorneys were involved in our lives they were shocked that we did this all ourselves. It was very time consuming doing it all ourselves but easy, we just didn’t tell them that. We were a bit proud of that.

In the meantime Rick is still working on 2 types of cookies to start. I was out trying to figure out how to buy these mugs without paying retail. I went to this huge and beautiful hallmark store in our neighborhood. In all my travels I have never seen one this big so I got lucky with having all this product at my finger tips. I would pick up mugs and read the bottom. I wrote down the names of the companies. (but couldn’t use the hallmark ones) I went home and called 1-800-555-1212 and would ask for the 800# to each company. I called them and told them of our plan and asked information on what they needed from us to begin ordering. They were more than happy to give me this information. Once we began buying inventory other companies called us. We had pottery mugs, stoneware mugs that were just gorgeous, sports mugs, hobby mugs, risqué funny mugs etc. The only difficult part was we had to pay for everything up front until we were established with each company. Finally we were offered net 30 for all most all of them.

Now we have our 2 cookie recipes down. The things we found were that they had to be baked on stone for best results. It meant even baking.
Our ingredients also made a huge difference as well.
You just couldn’t use any sugar or any old flour either. We had it down!
The difference in the cookie if you only changed the brand of sugar was huge.
This truly took a lot of time and product and practice as well as money.

We now had our food vendors and our costs down.
The cookies were now excellent.
We figured out our cost to make 1 and what we could sell them at.
We looked at competition and what it would cost for flowers to be sent etc.
We put together some prototypes and decided we had to do something to make people aware.

We had 1 problem. We were going to start this out of our apartment.
We knew doing that was not legal. But it is what we had to do.
We started oh so small and quietly.
Rick and I knew our target market was women. Women spend the money for these types gifts. Men will come later.

So Rick brought the 1st prototype to a hair salon that was his client from the yellow pages. He and the owner had a friendly relationship so he went to her shop first.
He asked if he could keep one on their receptionist desk with our cards and we would give them free warm cookies for them and their customers weekly.
Thankfully they said yes.

We brought them cookies and orders began to come in. We worked 8 hour days and baked all night. I curled ribbon I swear in my sleep to put these together. I curled while watching TV. I never wasn’t curling ribbon or at least that is how it seemed to me anyway. We slept maybe 3-4 hours. We then delivered them in between our sales appointments. Now you see why those jobs were good for us.

Because we couldn’t answer phones during the day we hired an answering service. When people asked where we were we said we are not a store front yet but we hoped to be soon. (never said from our kitchen for fear of the big ole health department)

At first it was just a 1 or 2 a week.
Then it was one every day of the week
Then it became several a day and weekends.
I had 100lb bags of sugar and flour in my dining room.
I had 100’s of mugs in my dining room and curly ribbon all over the damn house.
It was taking over our world….in a good way.
Rick made mug carriers for the cars for delivery. It was ingenious. They fit in there upright and it was a tight fit so they didn’t fall over.

We just no longer had the room or a large enough oven to do this and still work both jobs and sleep.
We also now had our product sitting in several different businesses and the orders were pouring in.
When we would drop off cookies at any of the locations the feed back was excellent and got us all excited that this was going to work.
People RAVED about the cookies. That was the secret.
We knew all along that it would be the cookies that would be the driving factor. We were constantly told that these cookies were to die for and we loved hearing that. We were always so damn tired. Some days those compliments were all that kept us going.  We were growing but all of our money was going back into the business.

It was now so big that we had to have a store front.
So we made that plunge. I can’t even articulate how scared I was about this.
fRick quit his job because he was the baker. I didn’t have the cookies down like he did and so it only made sense for him to be at the store.

We purchased our ovens and refrigerators from a used commercial kitchen supply store. They were awesome to work with. We found that a pizza oven lined in stone was our best bet. We bought the stones and lined it ourselves to save money.
We put the cookie sheets on the stones for even baking.
Outstanding cookies if I do say so myself!!
(think of the stones like Pamper Chef’s stone for pizza. Flat stone)

We decided we needed a big grand opening so people knew we were here.
We weren’t sure how the hell to go about this. As we were inclined to do we sat in our sun room with a bottle of red and ran ideas by one another.
We knew we needed to have our inventory larger for this grand opening.

We had been ordering and paying upfront from all the mug companies we had been dealing with. By this time we were told we were now able to be net 30.  Whew.
That helped with the capital. That was helpful because we knew after this grand opening paying for all of this would be no problem. But to pay for this grand opening and have to have the money to buy all the new inventory as well as food would really be a stretch for us. 
Can I tell you how I was constantly in a state of fear and money stress?

We came up with the idea to send a flyer to every customer and every recipient we ever had as well as friends, family and businesses in the neighborhood of our new location. The flyer would announce the new grand opening. We asked them to come to see the display of mugs, have some refreshments, cookies and see all of the new items as well. (cookie baskets etc) Again, no internet so we couldn't make these ourselves. We brought our ideas and art work to Kinkos and had to pay for this. Today thinking about that makes me ill. The ease in which all of our library and Kinko's work would be today.

We figured if we sent out 500 flyers we’d be lucky if 75 showed up. But we sent out 500 flyers and just over 260 showed up. We held this on a very sunny winter Sunday afternoon. Cookies were baking, a fire roaring in the fireplace and the place smelled like cookies and looked great.  It was a huge success. And those that didn’t stop by called and ordered or asked questions etc. We were beyond thrilled!! Still scared but thrilled.

A few days before our grand opening we hadn’t yet received our order for these particular mugs from the company that I really liked. The mugs were beautiful and different and more like stoneware/pottery. They were a bit high end but oh so worth the price. I called the company and asked where our delivery was because our grand opening was in a few days. We were expecting these to showcase. They stated that we hadn’t been ordering long enough so these had to be prepaid. I hung up after telling them I would get back to them.

I discussed this with Rick. We were sick about this. We didn’t have enough money to pay for these and the rest of the things needed for the event. Let alone all the other money going out the door right now. Rick said to overnight a check to them and they would send up our inventory 2 day air. 

It wouldn't cash for a few days due to the weekend.  I knew it would bounce we couldn't do that. But he told me to trust him. Foolish me did it anyways.  I kept thinking this was not a good way to start a new business relationship with a bounced check.  I was sick about this.  Nervous nelly was a basket case!

That evening at 7pm the TV was on. Rick was brushing his teeth and I was in the living room doing who knows what.. The lottery numbers were being announced on the television. I wasn’t paying any attention because I didn’t play the lottery. Rick is saying quietly at first then so loud a big "yes, YES, YES"  from the bathroom. I went in there to see what the hell he was doing. He was so excited and now jumping around like a nitwit and yelled, “did you hear those numbers Margaret?” It was the 3 digit daily number. "No Rick I didn’t pay any attention to them."  He just kept saying, “we won, we won, we won!”

He immediately called the local lottery line to get the daily number. Sure enough he won.
We needed $500 more dollars for that check not to bounce. He just won $550.00.
Can you believe it? I sure as hell couldn’t but I was thanking every spiritual being I knew to thank. And of course I have never in my life had any luck but I was thankful that we got it that day because it truly saved our asses.  It didn't seem real at all. I mean it was exactly the amount we needed. C'mon who gets that? I thanked Rick for playing the lottery. Best dollar he ever spent! 

Our new store front was located in a nice area where the homes were now businesses. Little cape cod style homes that were jewelry stores, an artists showroom, a pottery store, hair salon etc. It was a very nice area. We had an adorable cape cod home that was a realty company at one time so it was set up for parking etc. We just had to do the remodel for the kitchen and showroom. They had an addition on the back and we knew this big empty area would be our new bakery.

We had a pretty showroom with mugs on display as well as gift baskets etc.
We had a stone fireplace in the showroom as well. It was great in winter to come in and it smells like cookies and the fire is roaring. Great ambiance. We loved it and it did very well for us. We really loved when people would come in and say, “ooh it smells so good in here.”
It made them eat and stay longer and that meant they spent more money.
Sadly we outgrew that location in 2 years.
We packed up our employees and our business and moved into our 2nd location.
It was at the entrance of the mall. Talk about a great location and moving up!

But we now had stalled in real growth. We needed to find a way to bump up sales.
We decided to do some radio advertising and a representative that came in to discuss some commercials with us began talking about how all media uses flowers to get in the door or as thank you’s for their business etc. From what she was telling us they spent a huge amount of money on this stuff.

That made an alarm go off in our heads. I said to Rick that since we consider flowers our main competition and our slogan was “We deliver the tastiest alternative” (yes that was trademarked as well). We should be biting into their market and STAT.
This product was festive, but more importantly for all ages and sexes.

By now we had over 250 different style mugs in a show room. We had gift baskets, student survival kits and the like. We decided to reach out to the media and see if we could get some trades. Trade their service for ours.

I sent a very funny and a bit risqué mug to a morning show crew.
We delivered it and within minutes they were talking on the radio about how outrageously good these cookies were that were just delivered on air. Talk about free advertising.
They read the mug on the air and boy did that get responses. While listening to this on the radio our phone rang and it was the marketing department of this station. “Could we put these cookies in their station’s mugs to send their customers?”
"You bet we can! "

They were sending someone out to discuss business with us immediately. It worked.
We thought it would but honestly, we weren’t sure how it would end up but we were excited. Then the phones began to ring. People heard that morning crew talking about it and wanted to order. We were on to something here. Walk in traffic increased as well.

The following day I myself delivered one to the biggest station in town.
The card read, “Enjoy. We hope to do business with you soon.”
Before I left the long driveway out to the highway I got a call from Rick on our big ole bag phone (remember those in cars?) that they had already called our office for an appointment.

We did the same thing with television too.
We made trades with these companies at the beginning to trade our product for theirs.
It was an easy way to begin that type of advertising campaign with out a huge output of money. And boy did it work.

Our radio ads were great. Our television ads were even better. The line from the 1st commercial became a new tag line. “When was the last time you were mugged?”
It tied in with our name, the funny commercial as well as the product. Perfection.
We knew it was a hit when men would call and say, “I’ve got to mug someone, can you help me?.”
Name recognition and the sound bite was imperative for success and this was working.
We were growing again.

We were asked to be on a local TV show. I don’t even like my picture taken so I wasn’t thrilled with that but we did it. (Rick made me) Each time we did the phones went crazy.
We were asked to speak at local events at schools about being an entrepreneur. We met a great group of people which helped our business grow in various ways. The contacts were amazing.

A new restaurant in the newly remodeled train station wanted our spiced oatmeal raisin cookies on the menu. (they were the size of a dessert plate) The head chef was a customer (we didn’t know) and raved about that cookie. They were fat and moist and ooh so good. I admit I didn’t tire of them near as much as the chocolate chip. The chef added them to the menu as a trial with homemade vanilla ice cream and a homemade rum sauce or rum raisin sauce. They were a hit and remained on the menu until we sold the company. We were a bit proud of that one.

We never ever used day old cookies! EVER!
Rick had this down to a science so by this time we didn’t have a lot of left over’s.
But some days he was off or there were less walk ins.
When we had left over cookies we’d drop them off at a variety of places.
The firehouse down the street, the city mission, our neighbors, the owner of our favorite restaurant/bar, the woman who curled all that ribbon and her family, or the last customer. They always got a kick out of that!
The only people who never ate these cookies were Rick and myself. And after awhile the employees didn’t much care either. We always told them they could eat as many as they wanted knowing full well they never would last long. The chocolate chip cookie dough was another story.

We had a hometown basket that had everything in it that was made in that town.
The cookies, the mug was a pen and ink drawing of a famous landmark, the potato chips were local, the chocolates were local, the granola, the hand made pottery, small artwork, the coffee was from local mom and pop company. It was a big hit. One day our governor's office called and asked for 52 of these baskets be sent to all the governors in the country. Could we do this? Certainly was my reply before I ever knew how the hell I was going to pull this off.
I’d sweat that later was my logic.

So that started our idea of buying mailing lists and making baskets geared for a certain market. We started with freshman in college. We made student survival kits for 1st year college students. We mailed our information to the parents of 1st year students. They were suckers for little Johnny and Mary being homesick. (or was it the parents who were doing all the missing?) The baskets were filled with our cookies, a mug of choice, hot cocoa or coffee, granola mix, instant soups, chocolates etc. It took off like crazy.
Remember this is before the internet. I can’t even fathom how well it would have done with the internet.

We were now featured in the newspaper and the local magazines and assorted things like that. We were working long long hours. We began at 4am and stopped at 6pm.
Rick was asked to make the gingerbread house in the mall for Santa and his elves.
This gingerbread house was large enough for Santa to walk in and out of and store things.
That house was a huge undertaking but fun. We had everyone who worked for us and as well as some family help us out. All wore our t-shirts while working. It was good advertising and I would bring cookies over for looky loo’s …..worked like a charm.

.....to be continued. 
are you bored to tears yet?  well you asked for it.
pictures will follow as soon as I get to the attic and find some for you.

Cookies ...Part 1

Some backstory that you need to know.

I worked in an industry where there were only 4 companies in the world that did what they did. I worked for 1 of the 4 at the time. I was downsized because 2 companies merged. You know how fun those mergers are on all of the employees being merged.
It was the late 1980s.

I was not dating Rick at the time, he was just my best friend. I called him one evening crying because I only had enough money left to get me through one more month. He sent me money to pay my rent. But the next month was the same and he suggested I come back to my hometown where he lived and move in with him. He said, “It’d be cheaper” until I got another job. So I did. I moved into the 2nd bedroom and continued to pound the pavement for work. Not with much luck though and not with the blessing of his girlfriend.

Rick was in advertising at the time and his company was closing its doors.
He came home and told me he only had a few weeks left to work. I was shocked.
In the meantime I had taken 2 low paying jobs, one in retail and another low paying job that was horrific but necessary until I could get work again in my field. But things didn’t work out as planned. We both were struggling and it wasn’t much fun.

One day we were both home after work at the same time, which was so rare, and we were opening the bills at the dining room table. He said while holding the cable bill, “We could cancel cable and go have some margarita’s with the money in my pocket OR we can continue to keep cable. What do you think?” I said, “Let’s go drink and screw the cable bill.”
So we did just that.

We drank and discussed my frustrations of the constant interviewing. I was flying to this city or that city for interviews and thinking it went well only to find out as I walked out that there were 4 or 5 former co-workers in the lobby waiting to interview for the same position. We were all qualified. The more margarita’s we had the more we felt we should be able to think of doing something to control our own destiny.
We felt we were smart people. “I might as well be poor working for myself than working 2 low income jobs for someone else.”
That is what foggy margarita brain will do to you - you think you're brilliant!

Somehow we started discussing making cookies. We had seen at this point cookie bouquets and honestly they tasted like crap and they were really feminine like long stem roses.
We thought if we could be making something that appealed to all genders, ages and that tasted good.  No, really great, it would be a hit.
The more margarita’s the more clever we thought we became.

Hey I said, “What about HUGE cookies on sticks blooming right out of coffee mugs, wrapped in different colored saran wrap and we could cut the sticks at varying lengths to look like a bouquet?”  You could have the mug filled up with curly colorful ribbon to hide the sticks. You could have a showroom of mugs for men, women, children, sports, risqué etc. The more we drank the better our ideas became to us. By the time we were heading home I was coming up with names. I said one name as we pulled into the drive way and he said, “Wow that is a dumb name.” (remember that point)

Now you have to remember this was before cookie bouquets and all the things we have today. Nothing was like this in any city we lived in at the time.

The next morning we saw the bar napkin on our table and we began more discussions.
We both looked at our notes that we jotted down. We discussed this stone cold sober and still thought it was a great idea. So we began experimenting with recipes and hitting the library for business info. 

Remember this was the 1980s and no internet to speak of.  We went to the big gorgeous downtown city library and did our homework on registered trademarks, corporations, licenses etc. We spent hours going through phone books from all over the U.S. to see if there were companies like this. I admit I so loved this library. So all the time we spent there was actually fun for me. (Architecturally alone this building is so spectacular and so much better than the square boxes that are non descript of today)

We went through book after book on the laws and what we needed to start a business.
We spent every free moment in the library. It was a wealth of information. One day there was an attorney there that saw us looking through some legal information on registered trademarks and asked us some questions. When we told him what we were doing he laughed and said, “Good for you! I’m glad that everyone doesn’t know this or we wouldn’t have jobs.” 

He even took the time to give us some free advice and told us we didn’t need him. That made us feel great but if we could have afforded someone else to do all this believe me, we so would have. It was a lot of work!

While we were doing all this homework to start our own business we both got jobs that were horrible but worked for us and paid well. 

It was advertising for the yellow pages. Again today there are no yellow pages are there?
Horrible jobs, but one does what one has to do.
It allowed us the hours we needed and the money was good so we felt it would work so we could continue to get a business off the ground. We worked alone and drove from customer to customer so that was an advantage as you’ll see later.

In the evenings we’d bake. Well I should say Rick would bake. It was difficult to get a cookie as large as we wanted to be moist with a crunchy edge and yet still be able to stand up on a stick. The cookies were about 5/6 inches wide/circular. We did not want a dry cookie. It was imperative that the cookie be moist and delicious. Anyone could do this but to do this well would be the thing that would make us. We were certain of that.

....to be continued.

Monday Morning Quarterback

My Sunday was a lazy lazy day. It was wonderful.
I had so much to accomplish and I didn’t do a damn bit of it.
Rick and I were both lazy and I must admit it really felt great.
So much fun being lazy when you know you shouldn’t be doing that.

We walked the dog a lot. That my friends was the most we did all day.
Oh we had some fine wine. Took energy to open that bottle you know.
He went outside to fire up the grill and came back with 2 truffles that he bought and didn’t tell me and offered me one with my glass of wine. He knows the way to my heart that man.

We don’t give a hoot about football so every once in awhile we would flip over and see the score, catch a commercial and then flip back.
We saw Christina butcher the anthem. Really?
You can’t memorize the words for weeks leading up to this?
I’ve been reading some horrific things about her.
Hope she isn’t as bad as I’m reading but that would explain her anthem mess unfortunately.

I also read where 300+ fans didn’t get seated. It was reported that there were temporary seats put down but they were deemed unsafe. So they took 800 fans and moved them around and the unlucky other 300+ fans were just left out and offered 3 times the amount of their ticket. I don’t know about you but I am a rabid fan of my baseball team. If I had saved up the money for this big trip to see my team play in the World Series and I got there and didn’t have a seat I would be so angry. Who cares about the refund of the ticket when you just took away my dream due to your total ineptness. I would be very angry.
I am sure you’ll be hearing about lawsuits. Dallas and the NFL really @#$*# up.

Now to the important stuff, the commercials. I saw a lot of the commercials online to be honest because there was just too much football in between the commercials. The two I really liked the best were Eminem (Chrysler) and Kid Darth Vader (VW) I thought the Eminem was moving as well as a great promotion for the brand. The VW commercial just made me laugh out loud. That kid was adorable!!

On my last random factoid. I am now officially picture taking impaired.
The few things I could actually do in life I am now losing the ability to do anymore.
What the hell is happening here? I could take pictures last month.
It appears that I am now unable to take any pictures with my camera that aren't blurry.
I tried taking a photo of my matches’ displays to put in the blog because Tammie was curious. I took over 10 pictures of them – all a complete blur.
What the heck is happening to me? And no I was not drinking......yet.
I even put on my glasses after the 2nd shot was so horrific. But that didn’t help me one bit.
I have a blur reduction setting on my camera so I even moved it to that. Nope.
I don’t have shaky hands but it looks like I must have Parkinson’s.
I think a chimp could have done a better job. ...NO I KNOW a chimp could have done better. Here are 2 of the racks. You can see my impairment for yourself.

Mortality

One more thing on my list to dislike about getting older is all the things that remind you of your own mortality. It's nearer than you think and then something will smack you upside the head when you least expect it to remind you. You're moving along in life feeling just terrific and then POW.

A couple of years ago my favorite Aunt passed away unexpectedly.
She was visiting from Arizona her sister in Pennsylvania.  Her sister she was visiting, my Aunt, was in the hospital dying of cancer. The evening before Thanksgiving we spoke on the phone. She said she was really tired and it just must be jet lag and she was looking forward to going home.
She asked if I would be coming up there for Thanksgiving which was the next day and I said no.  We made plans to see one another a day or so later, which was the coming weekend. I was looking forward to spending some time with her.

I did indeed go up there a day or so later but it wasn't as expected it was for her funeral.
While at the hospital visiting her sister she went into the hall to greet and hug my cousins Joe and Sheila and she grabbed the bar on the wall and fell over and died. Just like that.

This rocked my world because she is only 14 years older than me. While she did live a life of bad food choices and cigarettes I know a lot of people who do and they don't die. 
She was my mom's sister. She was a piece of my mom and this rocked my world.
No mom now no Aunt JoAnn.
Then the older generation started to pass, aunts, uncles and grandparents. But while that may have been sad they were all either ill or so old that it was expected.

But now people my age are passing. Suddenly. I find it very difficult not to be rattled with it.
Thursday of last week I got a call at my office. It was my cousin. My crazy cousin Joe, or Joey, as I still call him. (as in the above Joe) 
As a kid he drove me crazy.  He teased and tormented me unmercifully.
Then as teenagers he was a big royal pain in the ass that would bug me and make me so self conscious about having big boobs, always making gestures and being a pig. When he got married I became close to his wife. As both he and his wife and kids moved for his job, we too moved several times for ours. But we kept in touch via phone calls and then emails.  It was mostly his wife Sheila and I chatting and getting caught up with she and Joey and their kids.

So on Thursday when I got the call from Joe and not Sheila I thought it was odd.
He said he and all the kids were home looking at photo albums and they saw a picture of me catching the bouquet at his wedding.  He was laughing when he said, "Peg you were so pretty back then and you know Sheila always loved you ."  I thought that was an odd thing to say as in the past tense. (not the pretty because that is a relative talking, I'm was not then nor am I now  pretty) but the "You know Sheila always loved you "part. I said, "Joey what's up?"  He began to tell me a story that started on the day before Thanksgiving.  His wife was suddenly talking funny.  They thought she may have had a mini stroke or something. They rushed to the hospital. They found one lesion on her brain stem and even more cancer in her brain. She did have some chemo but this was so far advanced there was no cure or hope. She was now home and hospice was at their home. She was no longer awake and they didn't expect her to last more than a day or two. He said it all happened so fast that Sheila didn't have time to think about it or plan anything. He laughed and said, "you know how that would have bugged her."  I fought back tears and laughed and just listened to him.  I couldn't ask any questions for fear of falling apart.  He sounded so strong and I thought it best to just listen.

This threw me for a loop.  I can't even fathom what they are all experiencing. She was only 59.  She died just two after Joey called me.
They married young and had been happily married for 40 years.
I have known her the majority of my life. 
Joe has known her for most of his as well. They are only 5 yrs older than me.
The last time I saw them was my Aunts funeral. Sheila and Joe are vibrant fun people.
They look like they are 40 something and they are so young at heart.  We went outside at one point at the funeral parlor to get some air and we found ourselves laughing because the "air" was all the smokers standing around smoking like chimneys.  As he has always done Joey began teasing my sister because she was one of those smokers outside. The ribbing began and before you know it we were all 12 years old and teasing one another and laughing. The funeral director came out the doors and asked us to keep it down. That made us laugh all the harder.   Grown ass adults making noise like we were a bunch of disrespectful kids.

I am not ready to go anywhere just yet. I know she wasn't either, the way she talked about her kids and Joey. That is why they were living in Tampa, to be closer to their children and grandchildren. He asked his company to move them there they so missed their children.

Every time I now call home my father tells me how he is ready. I hate hearing it but I understand it for someone his age.  But 59 is just too damn young.

Joey said to me that they had such great plans for themselves after they retired. He went on, "I don't know what to do or who I am without her." 
Oh man that killed me.  I couldn't talk because I knew if I did I would cry and I so didn't think I should cry when he was being so strong on the phone. So it was quiet for a moment.  Then I told him that while he has certainly lost his rudder he will right himself in time.  Don't plan just live in the moment now Joe and allow yourself the love of your family around you. 
We went off on topics about his sisters up north in our hometown and his crazy mom. Who is the last living person of her family. That is hard to wrap my head around. 
Our call ended in laughter as my family is prone to do along with I love you's.
But it left me feeling the void already.

I hate a lot of shit about getting older as you all have read me bitch about here in my blog.
But when it gets right down to it who really gives a rats ass if you're wrinkled if you are alive?
Given the choice I'd take my droopy eyelids and live.

Friday's Copy Cat

Several months ago, I Wonder Wye,  took a Questionnaire from Vanity Fair and answered them on her blog. She challenged us to take the quiz on our blog so I am finally getting around to doing it here today  
Here it is.

Quickly name a unique item you have in your house.
Rick
What are two of your favorite names?
Gia and Benjamin
What do you consider a necessary luxury?
professional hair color and cut
What car would you like to drive?
CL600 Coupe - don't even want one but want to see what all the fuss is about.
What is your favorite color and has it changed over the years?
Not really but I have always like two equally but for different reasons.
Red and Green – Green is calming to me and Red makes me happy!
What quality do you most admire in a man?
A big heart, loyalty, and a great sense of humor
In a woman?
The same.
What is something you long for?
money and good health
If money were no object what would you buy yourself?
A new home decorated by Nate Berkus with a pool and no neighbors.
What charity would you donate a million dollars to?
Anything to do with helping children and/or women
What book have you just finished reading?
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Name one book that made an impact and why?
Little Women.
I loved Jo. She wanted more than what she was told she could do and be.
I related to her so much as a young girl.
Name one liquid always in your refrigerator?
Tanqueray Gin (freezer actually)
Name one food item always in your refrigerator?
Cheese
What could you eat every day:
Duh! Chocolate! 
Everyday I drink:
Water, tons of water
TV guilty pleasure:
The food network and HGTV
TV show I don't ever miss:
Mad Men (lots of TV I don't miss!)
Name a favorite fictional character from a book:
Jo March
From a movie:
Sally Albright
What phrase or motto do I overuse:
We Tend to Seek Happiness when happiness is actually a Choice
I own a lot of:
black shoes
I collect:
I used to collect matches, which in today's non-smoking environment isn't as easy as it once was.
I try to avoid:
Toxic people and Cats
One thing I know:
I have no talent. I've looked. I've tried.  
Everyday I:
have a real belly laugh. last night was a great one.
The last time I wrote a note or letter and mailed it was:
Christmas time thank you’s
Dog or cat?
Dog, dog, dog!

Now c'mon I challenge you to take the quiz.

O.K., this postscript is because I am in a mourning state.
One of my favorite all-time baseball players is announcing his retirement today.
I will be wearing a black armband ....that is how awful I feel.
This man was the epitome of class on and off the field.
I will miss his focused stare from the mound.

He is retiring to spend more time with his family. He feels his kids are at an age where he needs to be home more and he felt like he was missing out.

(photo from 2001)




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Thanks, Andy for 16 great seasons of winning!
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Sneaky Peg

Yesterday after I was told that I was not important enough by Verizon to have them get here quickly I had a light bulb moment.
I decided that I would just move my internet service to my business line.
When this was first configured as I mentioned to you all before this was not allowed because one was copper (phone) and the internet was a fiber optic line.  But they told me yesterday they do allow that to be bundled now. 

So sneaky me called them back and asked if I could please move my internet to my business line. They said, "Sure we can have someone out there tomorrow." 
Oh my God is what I wanted to scream into the receiver but I refrained until I hung up.
So the secret to being important is to be a business.
Then she asked if I wanted to get FIOS TV while they were here.
I wanted to laugh and say to her, "hell no!" But instead I told her I was very happy with my Satellite provider and programming. Thankfully she stopped pushing.  I can't even imagine being down for 10 days with no TV and then being told I was not important enough for them to come out quickly.  I'd have a real mess on my hands. Rick would either hurt someone or his head would explode all over the place.

So this morning they were out here at 10am to move the residental internet to my office phone line and with that I got email back and internet at 11:46a.m. today. Viola.

I know this is confusing but bottom line....I have phones, email and internet back.

I did have to laugh when the technician told me that he had a ticket number for me for reference.  I asked, "Isn't a ticket number for a problem to be resolved?" 
He stated it was indeed. Oh no not again is what came to mind of course.
He told me that with the change to our email account there may be a hiccup and if there is to call Verizon and give them this ticket number and they will get it resolved.

I think I am going to be delusional or a glass half full gal on this topic.  I want to believe this ticket number was given to me just in case because I have had so many problems this week but I will never ever need it.  Oh that makes me laugh just typing it.

In other news.....
The weather - honestly it's crazy. Poor Australia is having floods, cyclones and oppressive heat all in various areas of their country. 

Here in America the midwest, the northeast and even the south are all miserably cold with tons of snow.
I am thankful we did not get any more snow. We got freezing temps.  Walking Izzy today has not been fun.  Windy enough to blow me over and only 14 degrees. But the sun is out and Izzy thinks it's perfect as she sleeps outside on top of the snow on the deck.  Goofy dog.

Now I have to figure out how to fix this damn template......I think I need a geeky boyfriend who can help me with such things.  Rick is the MacGyver of the tool belt set but this is not his forte.

Changes

I have been working on my husbands laptop with broadband wireless this week which is pretty close to dial up.  Pitiful in 2011.  But there is no choice because I am still in Verizon Hell.  Day 8 ! 

Yesterday I was told when asked if we could move up the date that I wasn't important enough. Can you imagine if I told customers that?  I had a major melt down yesterday.  I was so angry about what was happening (on the phone with verizon most of my day) that I cried from frustration.  Bad day.  Verizon 10 Peg 0

But because of this laptop I have a new template here on my blog.  Didn't want this but I have this.  You see I have issues with this laptop's mouse. I swore I was just trying to change the font because I needed it bigger and next thing I know I have this template. This mouse moves and doesn't move without me doing anything. I also can't find it half the time.  Right now you are all laughing at me aren't you?  I sound like my 83 yr old father here. But I swear this thing just jumps around and it drives me mad!  
I made several attempts to make changes and it just kept getting worse and worse. So when I tried to make changes I ended up with more things I didn't want.  I did put the water in the background because it has some road there and I really didn't like that.  So until I have my old PC back I think I'm stuck with this for better or worse.  Then again by the time I get my computer and verizon back this may grow on me.  (you know like mold)

Other random thoughts blowing around my head this morning.....
I saw that ole Puxatawny Phil did NOT see his shadow so YIPEE!  Early spring.  
I saw a pack, group, or bunch of robins (whatever more than 5 are) a couple of days ago while walking Izzy and I came running home to tell Rick.  He told me he had seen a couple a few days earlier.  That's a good sign isn't it?
Well at least that is my story and I'm stickin' to it.
It's raining now and it is washing away the mounds of snow.
It's a beautiful cycle people, beautiful.

I hate my new neighbors on both sides of us now. They both sicken me.  It's that bad.
I have never not liked my neighbors my whole life. So this is a new frontier and I don't much care for it.

I have been applying for jobs like crazy.  That will have to be a seperate post but I have to say being older and going back into the outside work force sucks. Why can't I just win a huge lottery?

I have always liked the actor Matthew Perry.  Of course I loved him on Friends.  But I really liked him in the Aaron Sorkin show, Studio 60,  that he was in years later. Rick and I always say if we like it, it will be canceled and it was. Matthew was also in a guilty pleasure movie of mine called, "Fools Rush In".  Love that movie - my life only not Mexicans, but Italians.   I saw him last night on Letterman and I see he has a new show starting in February.  I hope it is a good show.

And finally in pop culture news. 
Now I don't know if anything you read is true but this is what I read on radar online and the NY Daily News. (and we know how reliable that paper is)
I read where Charlie Sheen left the hospital and refused to go to rehab.  He is at home.  He is not rehabbing at home they said because there is no such thing.  I think it becomes difficult when you are a 45 year old drugged and drunk grown ass man you will do what you want until you die. It's sad to think he will die but I think that is the only way he'll stop.  What a sad waste of talent.  I read his parents were trying to get conservatorship, like Britney's folks, and that would help him but at age 45 do you really think he will let this happen?  I think he will go the way of Anna Nicole Smith.  It's all so sad. And he is costing a lot of people like camera men and all the other working folks on his tv show their jobs because he can't work.  It's a big mess isn't it? 

I guess being poor and not having Verizon because I am not important enough to get it fixed in a timely manner are better problems to have.  Who knew I'd feel so much better with that option.  Is there a 3rd option out there I can choose? 

Punxsutawney Phil

Tomorrow is Ground Hog Day.

Good ole Punxsutawney Phil better not see his shadow because I don't want 6 more weeks of winter.

I grew up in PA so I am familiar with the town Punxsutawney.
Just like in the movie Ground Hog's Day the event is the biggest thing to happen in this little town all year, every year. According to Wikipedia the last census done in 2000 was 6,271 as it's population.  So you can see why when everyone comes to town for Groundhog Day why it's a big deal.  The town makes some serious money on that weekend with all of that Groundhog frolicking. 

If like in the movie with Bill Murray your day just kept repeating itself; what day would you pick to do over and over again? 

I think I'd pick the 3rd day of my honeymoon.  The first day there we got married. The 2nd day we got seasick.  The 3rd day was heaven sent. Feet buried in soft white sand in Jamaica.  Sipping on a great cocktail, the sun kissing my skin and being so incredibly relaxed and with no stress and Rick right next to me.

It was exactly here in fact.....

Okay now tell me your Ground Hog Day if you got one.

I Am In Verizon Hell !

Last week our business line (copper) went down.
Not a good way to run your business when you do all business by phone.
But I can't have all phone lines on the same thing/product (copper line and FIO's line) because I run my business from my home.
I can not be without phone service.

My business line was down for a total of 3 days last week (Wed - Fri).
I had one full day of no phones.
The 2nd day I went 1/2 day without phones.
The 3rd day they went out again for 1/2 day.
I got no reimbursement of any kind (whole other story)

Today I come to work and I have no internet service provider.(ISP)
My home phone and my ISP are on both on FIO's. I don't care if my home phone doesn't work because I have my business phone and we have our cell phones.
But I can not do business without the internet. We get a lot of our customers through our website and after I receive the email I then call them back etc.

We got Verizon broadband wireless awhile ago for when we are working from the Lake house here -

Aah, I think I need to stare at this picture to lower my blood pressure right now!

I am using the verizon broadband wireless card right now but can I tell you how slow this is?
I am thankful I have this so I can at least have the internet for work as well as for allowing me to vent my frustration on my blog.

I spent 4 hours this morning on the phone with Verizon.  They had me go to the garage and while on the phone with them have me try to troubleshoot. Me and my screwdriver have also been outside to the box on the outside of my garage troubleshooting.  All to no avail.
I still have no service and I am working on a much slower connection.
But here is my biggest frustration -
THEY TOLD ME THEY CAN'T GET ANYONE OUT TO FIX THIS UNTIL FRIDAY!!!!!!!
F-R-I-D-A-Y!

So now that is 8 days of this Verizon Hell I have been dealing with.
They advertise FIOS as being the end all be all - so reliable and yada yada yada.
If it is the way to go then you sure as all hell should be able to get one of your representatives out here before a week don't you think?

I am so angry and frustrated right now.
If I didn't pay my bill then I would get their attention wouldn't I?

Snow and Bras

Remember how I said I need to live in the moment more?
Enjoy what is in front of me and stop wishing my life away?

Well I have decided that it is all just horse shit.
People who tell you this are not living in the north east or mid-atlantic right now.
Seriously I am now longing for spring. L-O-N-G-I-N-G!!
My dry scaly skin is begging for spring as well.

I want to open windows and breath in the spring air and sneeze, wheeze and cough.
I want to walk my dog with a pocketful of kleenex.
I want to see the blossoms through my allergy tearing eyes.
What I'm trying to say is that I want to shove that shovel.....

Last night while walking the dog I had to trace my steps from the late afternoon walk.
I dropped a glove and damn it those are the 3rd pair I've done that with this season.
The first pair were beautiful that I bought at Macy's just before the season of endless snow.
After I lost one of those I realized ugly cheap gloves were the way to go.
But as sometimes happen my hands get warm.....don't ask.
I took them off and was carrying them.
When I went to make a snowball for my dog to chase I realized I only had one glove.
But I found it!  Right in the middle of the road.  I was not walking down the middle of the road so how it got there is anyones guess. It may have been trying to get home or perhaps looking for the lost sock from the dryer.

The positive spin of all this clothing, cold and snow?
I know there has to be one, give me a minute.  Oh yea, no bra.  A head scratcher you say?  Nah.  Here is the logic.
I can't go out of the house without a bra. Ever.
But with the multitude of layered clothing and the big parka no one can tell if I have one on or not.    Look, I work from home.  I don't exactly dress all that lovely some days at home and in the winter no one knows this.  Come spring time with no coat, no layers, it's bra time, all the time.  But I'd gladly wear a bra 24/7 if I could have spring right now.

Last week it took some people over 8 hrs to get home in a normal 40 minute commute due to the storms here in DC Metro.  Some it was longer.  My neighbor had to overnight at his office.  He works less than 15miles away. Trees were down on parkways and everything came to a standstill.  Cars were abandoned.  Cars ran out of gas. My only thought watching this unfold on television is "what if you have to go to the bathroom?"  C'mon I can't be the only one who thought that.  It's not like you can get out of your car and drop trough and pee on the side of the road in the snow.  Brrr......
Again, I am grateful I work from home.
Besides I would have had to have worn a bra.

I'm being serious for a moment.....

Shame.


Shame by definition can mean disgrace, embarrassment, humiliation, and dishonor to name a few. In my family there are those with so much shame that it can overwhelm them. While I wish they could let it go some days I think they are now so comfortable in that shame that leaving it would be most uncomfortable and scary for them.

I have always known that my father and his siblings had shame about their lives growing up. But I never knew the whole story. We got bits and pieces here and there but it was always a whisper.

I wanted to do my family tree but was met with such road blocks. It will never ever be done because no one really wants to tell the whole true story.
My cousins and I have all discussed this. We each got different pieces to the puzzle from our parents. Sadly it seems to be governed by shame.

Here is what I know. My Grandmother was married and living in Italy. She had children. She had an affair with a man who was a boarder in their home. She ran off with him and her children to America. That made her children that she had with this man in America, which was 4 of her 8 children, to be illegitimate. They have such a strong stigma about this that it is barely possible for them to talk about it. It was a crazy story from what I can gather. Then the man left a woman with 8 children to go find work. Some of her children ended up in an orphanage for awhile until she could take them again. That left an enormous scar on all of these children. That topic is taboo. I got a snippet of info from an Aunt about this one. She told me that my father would wet the bed and the nuns at the orphanage would refuse to feed him because of it. Apparently they didn’t believe the adage that this wasn’t in his control but a deeper issue. So my Aunt would hide food and bring it to him. My father will not speak about it even when I brought it up. He, as well as some siblings have insecurities that lingered from their early life. My father being the baby of that 8 is very traumatized to this day although he would never ever admit to that but you know it from some of his behaviors.. He says he is fine but he is so not fine. But getting him to talk is so uncomfortable for him that at this point in his life I have given up. He will be 83 in a few weeks so I let it go long ago. I do believe it is an insight to some of his ways but he is from a generation that just will not talk. He’s macho and he is fine. At least that is what he is going to make you believe.

The things that cause him such shame are things that in today’s society are generally accepted.
We don’t seem to have shame about much these days.
All you have to do is look at television like Jersey Shore, Housewives of whatever planet and a Jerry Springer show. The saying, “have you no shame?” comes to mind when I hear about these show!

Shame does seem to rear its uncomfortable ugly head in situations where there should be no shame.  I read several blogs dealing with this topic of late. There have been several that have been dealing with forms of mental illness. Depression, anxiety, maniac episodes etc.

All who suffer write so eloquently about this yet all have in some form or another expressed shame. All, in one way or another have said that they held off talking about this aspect of their lives for fear of how we blog readers would accept them. Or how society on a whole accepts them.

This saddens me so much.
I am not sure why this topic pulls at my heart so but it does.
I remember when I was younger and when a friend was depressed I used to think, “oh c’mon snap out of it.” Then in my early 40’s I went to a very dark dark place.
I couldn’t control it or snap out of it. I was barely functioning.
I went to work and put on what I call my “peggy” face but when I was home it was gone.
I withdrew from everyone and everything including my husband.
There was no joy just dark scary thoughts.

Now I realize you don’t know me but I am a normally happy person. That word I detest Perky has been used oh so often to describe me. A type A personality who is always moving, talking, doing. Not the sort you think of with depression. That person was gone and it scared my husband so.

I went days without sleep; I had episodes of crying that lasted longer than a work day. I had a lot of physical pain in my body as well as in my mind. The only thing that stopped me from taking my life was Rick. I know it sounds silly or even trite now but I just couldn’t do that to him. That is the only reason I am still here.

He was trying so hard to help me but he couldn’t pull me out of the rabbit hole as he called it. I went from doctor to doctor with no help. I knew I had no reason to be depressed in theory. On the outside it would seem I had the world by the ass. We had everything we needed and more. We had no problems, we had great careers and from looking in you would think I just needed to “snap out of it” because it could be assumed I was a spoiled brat and had no damn reason to be depressed. On paper I didn’t. But I learned that you can’t just “snap out of it” and it wasn’t something I was wallowing in for any reason. I felt like I had no control and trust me for a type A personality losing control also freaked me out. It was finally found that I had a medical issue who's symptom was depression and once that was rectified the fog slowly lifted.
Some days I actually think I was given this as a gift to be more understanding to others.

That got me thinking about the shame of all of this brings on people.
My thyroid & adrenals are not working as they should.  Should I be ashamed of that?
These are glands in my body that need help from modern medicine to function optimally. There is no reason for shame here.  My husband has what I like to call a hiccup when it comes to his heart. He needs to take medication to keep things moving like they should so he can live a great life. He isn’t ashamed of the fact that he needs medicine to make this organ work properly. And no one makes either us feel shameful.

But yet when our brain, just another organ in our bodies, misfires we have shame.
How is that any different from my any other organ in our body that misfires?
Yet society doesn't see it that way.
We don’t need to alienate these folks but to understand and to ask questions so we all learn.

All the bloggers who write about this are educating us if we listen.
And we should be listening. There is nothing to be ashamed of if our bodies are ill and we are working on making them better.

The only thing we have to be ashamed of as a society is that you watch and love Jersey Shore and Housewives of other planets. I can’t give you a pass on that one and you know who you are!

Spring my ass.

The time stamp on yesterdays Spring post was 2:00pm
By 6:00pm this was the scene on my street.

Our dog loves to chase snowballs much more than we enjoy throwing them.
Rick's arm was about to fall off - he did this for over an hour.

The snow was coming down a bit sideways from the wind and it would sting your face.
I didn't enjoy that much but it was fun throwing snowballs at Rick and a few neighbors outside. We acted like we were all of 10. Then we came inside and drank some wine.
The dog crashed and we warmed up via vino.  Not a bad evening.

So no spring in my near future. flask, I think you put the hex on me by that comment you made on my spring post. 

Schools are closed today and our phone lines are down.
Difficult to run a business like this.

Here is Izzy in all her pure puppy glory chasing snowballs last night.
Enjoy your day whatever your weather.

Spring is that You?

It's that time of year again.
It may be snowing outside but I have spring training on my mind.
I know that by the time my birthday rolls around in just less than 6 weeks I will receive the best present of all.  Baseball begins!

As I have said over and over again here I so love the game.
I love my boys of summer.
I love everything about the game..... oh, okay not the spitting and scatching but who does really?

My husband finds my obsession amusing.
He thinks that I am an odd one that I can find such pleasure in watching Fashion Police and ESPN's Baseball Tonight. A gal can know her way around a pair of Louboutin's and RBI stat's as well you know. Hey doesn't that make me well rounded?

In the summer I prefer to have the windows closed during a game because I can alarm the neighbors with my hooting, hollering, screaming at the blind ump, and bemoan the batter who left someone in scoring position.  And most of all curse at the most annoying sports announcers in history of all sports, Tim McGarver and Joe Buck. They make my ears bleed.  When the game is only on a station where these two bozo's are announcing I watch the game with the television muted.  They make me spitting mad!!  Why oh why can't Bob Costas announce all games?

I know all my readers are women so if you've gotten this far your eyes have glazed over and you're thinking about making dinner, doing crafts, your kids and anything that isn't a sport. I get it.  I feel that way about football, basketball, hockey, tennis, fishing etc. No one watches the super bowl in my household. So thank you for coming this far and endulging me.

Here's to spring, a great looking pair of baseball men's forearms, beer & a hotdog on a warm summer day watching those arms play ball! 
Ah, I smell spring in the air! (or is that testosterone?)

Tuesday's Thoughts

I just got back from a walk with Izzy.

It was surreal and a bit rattling.

As I walked by a neighbor was walking out to his car.

Let me preface this all with how much I love this guy, he reminds me of Rick in his quick wit, big heart and he too is a tall broad man.  Like Rick he hates football and because of size everyone assumes they are into it or played it.

Joe though is only 31. Cute as a button so Rick likes to say he's his younger brother.

When truthfully he could be Rick's son.

Ah the delusions of men.

But as Joe walked out to his car he did a double take to me and said, "Wow you look great - like the hair." I laughed and said, "Thank you Joe." And we said our have a nice day's and off we went.  My first thought was how odd that a man would notice my hair.

We walked a lot more and as we were coming around out from a wooded area my neighbor who lives across the street and down a ways pulled her car over and waited for me until I got closer.  She put her window down on the passenger side of the car, closest to me, and yelled out to me, "You really look good Peg and I wanted to tell you."  I am now puzzled. I said, "thank you but I don't even have make up on" She yelled, "well you look so good I had to let you know.  I'm off to Annapolis for a meeting so I have to run."  And off she went.

Now she is someone I know but we are not friends nor do we socialize so I am finding this really damn odd.

I am walking home and I am the sicko who talks to my dog and I said to Izzy, "how bad do I normally look for heaven's sake Iz?"  Is it that I am not wearing a baseball cap and my hair is longer?  Is it how I was dressed today?  Less layers sure do make me look thinner. (it's in the 40's today and after yesterdays 14 this is like summer)

I am happy that people think I look good but it is the dramatic way they are telling me that makes me think I have always looked like shit and no one was telling me.

So I call Rick.

He gives me husband answers. He loves me and he is blind. He thinks it's pretty funny.

So apparently blogger friends I have looked like hell for so long and now I don't.

Hah - I'm still dealing with disease and illness issues and extra weight so that is so far from  how I feel. But hey, compliments no matter how I get them, even back handed I suppose are better than none.

I think I am going to go burn my baseball caps now.

On a different topic - Girl Scout Cookies.

Oh how I love me some thin mints. I love them from the freezer to my little hand.

I love thin mints so much that I have been known to eat a sleeve for dinner with a glass of milk.  Of course this was when I was young, thin and could do that.

Now I'm gluten free and I see these damn things and I am jonesing. This is my crack.

But Rick can still eat them so we still buy them. Thankfully thin mints are not his thing so it makes it easier on me that the ones he likes I don't care for.

I was a girl scout. Yep back in the old days when we would wear our uniform and go door to door selling cookies.  I remember the trauma of having to deliver and my parents teaching me to make change. I cried in my kitchen while my mother would pretend she bought X amount of cookies and gave me so many dollars. I had to do this until there were no mistakes.  My parents didn't drive me or help me. I would load up my bike and deliver. Come back for more and deliver those. And you know what I remember most of all?

Hating delivering! But my parents told me that if I wanted to be a girl scout this was part of it.  I hated and honestly still do, having to do things vs. wanting to do them.

When I got home from school my mom would suggest I go out now before dinner. I am thankful that my parents tried to teach me those lessons - I just didn't see it until I was much much older. But that is always how it goes.  My parents got much smarter as I got older. 

Now I notice that in the 11 yrs I have lived here only 1 girl has come to my door year after year. I live in a planned community where most of us don't even lock our doors.

I refuse to buy them from the moms and kids who sit lazily in front of a store.

I wait for that girl who gets off her butt and rides her bike over to ask for the sale. 

I love that her mother and father are teaching her to work. 

Last year her dad came with her when she delivered because it wasn't on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, it was after dinner and it was dark. He stood at the end of the porch and let her do her thing. I gave her a tip and she gave it back to me and said that I had given her too much. I told her it was a tip.  She turned to her dad and asked if she was aloud to take it. He nodded and sad, "yes but you know what to do."

She turned to me and thanked me very much and hoped I would enjoy my cookies." 

It was too friggin' cute! Great parenting as well. (and Daddy is hawt albeit a baby himself)

I am hoping that this young lady is still in scouts so Rick can get his cookies.

Otherwise I'll have to go online and buy them. Yes, I am that stubborn that I will not buy them from the mom's at the front door of my grocery store. 

I am a girl scout cookie curmudgeon.  Big Surprise right?