I have a lot of close friends and family who are having milestone birthdays.
All are dealing differently. It is so interesting to observe.
Perhaps it depends on the actual milestone.
Some of these milestone have had me partying and some have had me a bit depressed.....but always partying.
This past few months I have had friends and family turning 30, 40 and 50.
The 30 year old made me chuckle at her depression over being 30. I thought back to my 30th and I don't recall being upset at all. In fact I loved it. I felt very grown up. I was no longer in my 20's and I really thought people would see that as an adult and what I said held more weight. What I do remember was the trauma of turning 31. 31 to me was well.....
OVER 30. I thought that sounded horrible. 31 to me was that next box up on a survey asking your age range. For some reason 31 was a kick in the ass more for me than 30 ever was.
My last milestone birthday made me reevaluate what I wanted to do for the last half of my life.
What I had been doing for the last 20 something years was no longer gratifying.
I admit I stayed longer than I wanted because the money was intoxicating.
So I am much poorer, but oh so much happier. (albeit my grumpy blogs) :-)
I have a young friend who is in another country right now for work. She has been there for months and she is so homesick and so missing her husband. Even in her IM's to me I hear her pain. But that is the price one pays for climbing the corporate ladder. She's at the beginning of her career and this is what one must do to achieve what she is hoping to achieve. It has now begun to make her physically ill. She gets knots in her stomach and stomach pains, headaches and stress in her shoulders. She told me via email today that she can't imagine having to do this for the next 20 yrs like I did. I had those symptoms and more but it took me until the end of my career - she's already there.
I could so relate but I wasn't sure what the hell to tell her so I just listened until she asked again.
I could only tell her my experience. If you are that miserable then look for work elsewhere. But if you like the job but not the climbing of the ladder then by all means talk to your supervisor. Maybe she can move to a different department but sometimes once you tell them you don't want to do what it takes to climb they find a way to fire you. They think you aren't a team player and all the other corporate bullshit. Because of that I think looking for work else where may be the ticket for her. But I told her to not make any desicisions while she is homesick. She'll remember how this all feels when she gets home and then reevaluate what you want your career to look like. Who knows it could be all the gross food, the 12 hour time difference from her family and friends and missing her spouse. Once she's home it could all be better.
When my husband and I were in the middle of our careers we both traveled a great deal. We both worked from home offices when not on the road. Sadly we weren't in our home offices at the same time very often. But we loved our careers.
I remember a time after a month of constant traveling when I called my husband's cell and asked him what city he was in because I couldn't remember anymore. He told me the city and then he admitted he couldn't remember where I was either and asked,
"hey when will you be home again?". We commiserated that evening while eating our room service dinner together on the phone....but then back to our laptops and working all night and the reality of it all. It sucked.
It was the beginning of the end so to speak. The shine was beginning to wear off at this point in my career. But I pushed it aside and plowed ahead.....for another year or two anyway.
One trip I was on I woke up in the wee hours of the morning because I had to go to the bathroom. In a groggy stae of mind as I'm pee'ing I am trying to remember where I am. Manhattan? Minnepolis? Nebraska? I left the bathroom and proceeded to look at the placard on the back of my hotel room door looking for the city name posted. It wasn't there. It only told me I was in a Marriott and how to get out of the room in case of fire. For some reason I began to panic. I looked out the window to see pitch black and realized I wasn't in Manhattan but where the hell was I? I clearly remember going through my trip in my head and the city remained blank to me and I was so scared. What the hell was going on with me? I mean to tell you I was in full blown panic mode now. I put on the TV hoping to see news of some sort naming the city I was in. While the TV was on I went into my briefcase looking for my itinerary. I was fumbling around through papers with my heart pounding and then I found it....
I was in Albany, NY. Aaah, I felt so much better. I could go back to sleep now. I turned off the TV and fell back to sleep immediately. What a weird feeling that was and one I will never forget. That was sort of the beginning of the end for me. It was time to make some changes. Sometimes I think that was a nudge from above to put the wheels in motion.
I now like being home, at one with my stuff.
I like seeing my husband every day.
I like not having to sit in airports or train stations. (or I should say being delayed all the time)
I like sleeping in my own bed with my favorite pillow.
I like not having to wear heels all the time.
I like not having to eat out all the time.
I like not having to be dressed up all the time.
I like not having to play corporate bullshit games.
I will admit I do sorely miss Manhattan. (my main territory)
I do miss the money.
I do miss the camaraderie of my work friends.
But would that be enough to go back? No, I'll be just fine working from home, seeing the old man every day and not wearing shoes very often.
Hey, don't tell Oprah but I think I found something good about being in my 50's!! :-)
This is truly a part of old age that is fitting me very well.
We Tend to Seek Happiness
