The weather here is perfection.
It is 70's and low 80's and low humidity.
Doesn't get much better than this.
I love this time of year and only wish I could live somewhere like this weather all the time. Would I appreciate it as much if I didn't have 90% humidity most of the summer or the dreadful cold of winter? I wonder.
I do love 4 seasons, it's just that as I have aged, I don't like the 4th one as much as I did when I was young. 3 seasons would be just fine with me now.
Know where I could get that?
My niece is about to have her baby. They induced her yesterday.
As of this moment in time still no baby. My niece is a planner. A type A.
She reminds me so much of my younger self.
She is the oldest, she takes care of her sisters, she looks out for them and she does things by the book. She is career oriented and has no tolerance for laziness. She was driven to get her degree. She was driven to be the best. She has always known what she wanted and went for it.
She and her hubby are perfect for each other in this way.
She was thrilled they were going to induce her because then her husband would be there when the baby arrived. (he travels) Also she loved it because it was a plan. It wasn't going to be spontaneous.
She planned this baby. Of course. But she still hasn't learned how to let things go when they don't go as planned. She's only 28 so she will learn. She wanted to be a young mom. I think because she was raised by her grandparents (my parents) that had a lot to do with that thinking, although she denies it.
I was chatting with her the other night about the baby coming.
Her husband is a college football coach and she was worried he'd be traveling when the baby came. She was worried about this and that.
I listened. Then I asked her how far away he'd be. Would he be able to get there in 24 hrs? Yes, he could.
I told her to take a deep breath and just try to relax. She can't control any of this, this baby will come when she is supposed to come.
She can't she keeps telling me.
I know she is freaking out because she is not in control, I know this but she doesn't. I also know this because I do the same.
I told her, you are adding a baby to your life. It will not follow you and your husbands every planned thought.
This baby will have her own plan. You will have to learn to compromise. Babies will do what they do. You have to go on this ride Alex and enjoy it. Don't be so hung up on everything being a certain way or it's not perfect. Enjoy all these little moments, be present.
You will look back and cherish all of this. Please promise me you'll at least try, maybe for just one day a week say, "Today, whatever happens, happens and I will try to go with the flow" See if anyone dies or the earth stops spinning? Then the next day you can go back to what you do.
She won't but I had to plant that seed.
I get it. I was that person when I was her age.
But what is bad about being like that is when things don't go your way as you planned and worked on then it seems like the whole world is falling apart. Then you have anxiety. You miss out on the joy right in front of you. When in reality it is so minor.
But until I turned 40 I just couldn't see it.
Rick has also helped with that a great deal.
He started with simple things. He would point out that if the dishes weren't done would the world end? So what if someone knocked on the door and saw I had dinner dishes in the sink? Why do I care what they think? I remember this conversation like it was yesterday with him.
I was 31 and he was 32.
He wouldn't let me do the dishes one night because he saw what I was doing. My life stopped until all was to be done, then I could go out and have fun.
He said nope, going for a ride around the beach, he did everything to keep me away from the dishes. It's all so funny now. I went to bed and he said, "you're thinking about the dishes aren't you?"
I laughed and admitted I was. He said, "let it go, they will be there in the morning"
Sure enough, they were there in the morning.
The world didn't end. Nothing bad happened. (of course, I did them immediately)
He did this to me with a lot of things. Over the years I let most all go because I realized I only had so much control anyway.
But it wasn't easy at first.
Rick has no filter, never has.
Rick has no care in the world what others think of him, never has.
Rick loves to live in the moment and laugh and enjoy his life.
To him, a dust bunny or two won't make him stop what he is doing.
We have balanced one another out. He has moved a bit to my side and I have moved a lot to his. If I don't do the dishes so be it now. I don't think on my death bed I will be saying, "gee I wish I had cleaned more"
He has turned me into a "oh what the hell" girl.
I still like to plan but it's not with the same urgency as before.
I know my niece will figure this out.
Besides this baby will change all that whether she likes it or not.
It's going to be interesting to watch.
13 comments:
Well, that child will either change her mother for the better or that child will grow to be unhappily trying to fit into her mother's version of how things should be.
My first child was brought about by induced labor. Soon after that horrible birthing experience, I learned that your pelvic bones and pelvic floor are not ready to give birth until they are ready. I would never recommend induction for any reason. I hope she has good luck and a wonderful, healthy grandniece for you to love.
I wish I knew then what I know now. She will learn as you have or she will end up dissatisfied or worse, unhappy.
Glad you got Rick to help you let go a little.
Peace - I believe the original reason for inducing was because she had dialated and then a week and nothing. She is at her due date. They suggested this and she jumped on it to be sure her hubby was here. I think they will send her home. She has been there since yesterday afternoon. We'll see.
Linda - he has changed me a LOT. and vice versa. :-)
Two words that don't go together are urgency and cleaning.
Babies and birthing are two subjects I know nothing about but trying to control everything so nothing goes wrong, is my middle name. It's hard to let go of that mind-set but I'll bet that baby will help with that.
P.S. Rick is a gem.
Not perfect weather here -- I am freezing.
Jean,I hear you, hard habit to break.
and yes he is a gem, he has calmed me as he likes to say. :-)
Olga, you're scaring me!! Ill be up there on the 11th. Im praying no snow
I'm a planner too but not a true Type A. I'm the planner that has Plans B and C ready when A doesn't work out. Sometimes that makes things so smoother and other times it doesn't make one bit of flippin' difference than if no plan had been made.
Barbara this made me chuckly. I am no longer a true Type A, my hubby has soften those edges. He flies a lot by the seat of his pants so between us we make a good team. And what is the saying, God has a sense of humor, just try making plans. or something like that. All too true
Life is interesting...you learn more every year and eventually realize all that stuff you worried and fretted about meant nothing in the grand scheme! Hugs!
I hope the seed you planted grows and that maybe her husband can take a page from Rick and they can learn from eachother like you two have. Rigid is prone to break.
Ann, oh truer words never spoken my PA friend!
Patti - wow that is a great saying "rigid is prone to break" I may steal that one Patti.
In my brain I'm type A but in real life I gave up and now I'm a D- lol. Once everyone is gone (maybe when I'm 90) I can have my stuff how I want it ;)
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