Thursday Random Items of my LIfe

**We are entering our summer slow down. It happens every August.
Yesterday Rick got home earlier than normal and decided he would make dinner.

I wasn't going to be home for dinner but he said he'd save me a pork chop.
I laughed because he normally can't do that but I saw that he had 3 so there was a good chance I'd get one when I got home.

He made a peach chutney type sauce for the chops. Before I left I stuck my finger into this sauce he had on the stove and OH MY GOODNESS.   It was yummy.  
All he did was cut some peaches, add brown sugar, some garlic because he doesn't know how to cook anything without garlic, some aged balsamic vinegar, and a whole jalapeno from our "garden" It was so good I was amazed. It was sweet with a kick!  

As I was leaving he was having his dinner and was completely and utterly silent. 
(Not normal.)  I kissed his cheek because he couldn't stop eating for a second and told him I'd see him in a couple of hours. When I got back he and the dog were both snoring on the sofa. 
I changed my clothes and when I got back down stairs he was awake.
He told me that the lone pork chop covered on the kitchen counter was mine and if I didn't eat it he sure as hell was going to because it was calling for him the whole time I was gone. 
I told him he could have it I just needed a bite. OMG it was just so damn good he could put that bad boy up against any chef any day of the week.
I am glad I wasn't here to eat it honestly. I am not sure I could have stopped at only one. 
Hopefully he can duplicate that some day. 

**You know how every year I tell you about how my husband will mess with this young boy who visits us over labor day weekend each year at our lake house? This year they can't make it. (we rented a home this year) 
This saddens me but it makes my husband even more sad because he can't mess with this kid. It's been bugging him and viola the other day he thought of something to mess with Joey.  Thankfully Joey's mom doesn't read this so I'll tell you.

To remind you of some of Rick's pranks  - he had a water bottle in his pants and kept saying he had to pee. We were all on the boat and he turned around and let it go through his swim trunks and Joey thought Rick was peeing all over him. He was probably 6. 
Then Rick ate pumpkin pie filling off his shoe and Joey thought it was dog poop. He was so grossed out and that to Rick was funny. 
He dropped this chocolate cookies dough out of his shorts after everyone was complaining of stomach aches and Rick kept saying he wasn't feeling well. He dropped this and Joey screamed and pointed, "Mom he pooped on the floor". 
Yes immature but these two are both the same age.  
Joey falls for these things and each time after wards Rick laughs and then he knows Rick got him. Oh and the list goes on. He's been doing this since the kid was 5 or 6.
Each and every year Rick plants a seed like last years snapping turtle that didn't exist but Joe was afraid to go in the water none the less. 
When Joey arrives Rick immiately plants seeds and sucks him into his crazy ass plan. 
Joey actually will say, "You're not getting me this year Rick" with all his big boy macho bravado that it is cute.  And Rick gets him, well, except last year. 
Rick had an "epic" failure as Joey called it.  Joey loved that. 
But that didn't stop Joe from constantly asking me, "Is Rick going to try something else Peggy or am I safe?" 
They are both so sick and twisted that they enjoy this shit. 
Rick cackles and Joe is convinced he is up to no good. 
Honestly the two of them are seriously funny to me.  
The planning and plotting, the worrying about when and where. Jeez.

So my "12 year old" husband has spent weeks racking his brain to think of ways to mess with poor Joey even if he doesn't come to the lake. So here is his new plan.
Rick had me make letterhead from his school. 
Ah, thank goodness for the internet and a colored printer. 

We addressed a letter to his parents.
With the help of his aunt and sister, who really likes to mess with her brother, we got the names of his teachers from last year as well as his principal. 

We wrote that it had come to our attention after weeks of discussions, reviewing of all data we have to hold your son back and will be unable to move him into 7th grade.
The letter goes on to describe the emergency meeting listing all his teachers. We made it sound as though others were involved. We closed with stating we had to have his parents along with Joseph come to the school to discuss our findings. We mentioned how we thought this was in the best interest for everyone involved "especially your child's education."
Oh yea, it was good.

So I am mailing it in a hard envelope so it does not get damaged to his aunt. 
She is mailing it to them so it is postmarked from the city in which they live. 
His Aunt Katie will be sure that the letter arrives on a Saturday so they can't call the school. They will also be going out of town for the weekend to a family reunion so they will have something to "stew" over. (insert Rick's evil laugh) 
Then I will probably call them Sunday night or early Monday morning before anyone can call the school. (I don't want to get in trouble you know - those damn nuns scare me!)
Joey will have a heart attack that he isn't going into 7th grade. 
And Rick just wants to say, "Gotcha!" after last years epic failure. The juvenile old man wants to redeem himself he says.

Now who are the grown ups in this scenario?
Seriously Rick will be messing with this kid for years. Joey enjoys it and heaven knows Rick does too. But what Rick is forgetting is that Joey is getting older, he will be coming up with some good ones of his own and he will be a force to reckon with.  He is as devious and sinister about these games with Rick as Rick is. Then it's really going to get good. 
I'm sure when Joey is older he will be recruiting me to help him. And I will gladly!
Shh....don't tell Rick.