Art and Music

Rick works in his workshop and only shows me his stuff because who else is there?

So when I read him some of your comments he was thrilled. Thank you all!

It's nice to hear these things from someone other than your wife who likes most things you do. I get that.  

He belongs to a group that makes these types of things. They bounce ideas. We see who is selling what and where. He gets a lot of help too. This community has been a real treat for him, he learns, he meets like-minded folks and he enjoys it. They all show off their wares and what they are working on. They share ideas, tips, and marketing ideas. Then there is his "wood porn" that he watches a great deal. 

There is an event happening soon in our community. 

It begins in May and runs to November. 

It is just like the Raleigh Night Market only this is based in our town/'burb. 

It's a monthly pop-up market. It is only locally made goods and an evening of music, artisans, food, and drinks. It is from 5-9p on designated Friday nights. Rick had to fill out some applications and show he lived here and that was that so far.

The first event is this month. Rick doesn't feel his work is ready and he doesn't have enough. So he signed up for fall. It should be interesting.  He so enjoys this. 

And of course, everyone asks me, "doesn't it bother you he is always in that workshop?"  Hell no, is the short answer.  I do hate that it stalls all work inside unless I bug him but otherwise no. I love him but dear me I don't need him underfoot 24/7. 😛

We have a friend not far from here who is a huge fly fisherman. 

He and Rick were talking about his favorite lure. (wooly mammoth lure) 

Rick and I went to Bass Pro Shop and he bought a couple of these fly fishing lures. Rick then made a wine stopper for Paul with a fly in it. I found it gross as hell. 

But when Rick and Paul were talking about lures that evening Rick mentioned it would be cool to do what he was thinking. Paul said that would be so cool if you could pull that off. That was all the incentive Rick needed to hear, "if you can pull it off" It was now something he wanted to prove he could do. One never tells Rick no because he will most certainly do it. Trust me. I had to learn that lesson early. 😊

Fast forward and Rick finds that others make these too. So he was convinced he could too.  I saw him picking up some gravel/stones one day out of our driveway. 

I asked what he was doing. He told me he needed some sand, some gravel, and then have the lure in that. What? He kept saying you'll see. Well, I saw. I think it's awful but I know that people who fly fish love it. How do I know? Because Rick posted it on his wood-turning "boards" and everyone went bat shit crazy. He sold so many of those. Then they wanted to know how to do it. So he shared how it went down, what to watch out for and what he did wrong. Who knew that this ugly thing would be so popular. Okay allow me to rephrase that - I never thought it would be that popular so I know nothing. I don't eat fish, I don't like to fish, I just like being on the water. So I used to go fishing with him all the time before Izzy. That beauty took my place. She got so excited when a fish was on the line. I didn't. 

So I get she was more fun than me. 

In the meantime, he packed up Paul's favorite lure as a wine stopper and sent it to him. He asked me not to post anything since he and Becky follow us he wants Paul to be surprised. If I got this in my mail I wouldn't be thrilled but then again, I don't like to fish either. Yes, this started as wood with an epoxy top. 

In other news. I caught a show of Ellen DeGeneres at 3am the other night. She had on the Indigo Girls. Boy that brought a flood of memories as only music can.

I discovered the Indigo Girls in the 90s when I lived in Seattle. Seattle grunge was hot then. I didn't like it but I have to say I discovered a lot of music I would never have heard if I had not lived there.

When growing up I could hear all kinds of music on the radio. Nothing was really segmented. Oh, sure there was country and what I used to call my parent's music. But on the radio in those days you heard everything. 

I would hear some Motown, some rock, some soft rock like Elton John, then Grand Funk.  I googled top 100 billboard singles of 1974 and it was rich with variety. 

John Denver, Gladys Knight, Steve Miller Band, Three Dog Night, Billy Preston, Joni Mitchell, etc.

I can attest that if John Denver came on I may change the station but overall we heard and experienced it all. Then suddenly everything was segmented. Pop. Rock/classic rock. Country. All that was left in my hometown was a college station I really liked but not on all days and a classic rock station. I wasn't hearing a lot of new music.

Then I moved to Seattle. I was on my horrific commute to work and found a station I believe called the Mountain. I was told the format is not the same anymore which saddens me. It was eclectic across-the-board music. I had never experienced a station like this since the 70s.  It was on I-5 stuck in traffic and not moving where I heard Keb Mo for the first time (blues!) I was hooked. Then the indigo girls, heavy rock like Guns /N Roses, Tracy Chapman, Bare naked ladies and Lyle Lovett who I thought was country but was finding out he was more than that. I recall a particular commute home where I told Rick I just discovered these 2 guys that we need to check out more of their music. That is how it all began.

I am not normally an Indigo Girls kind of gal. I've shared that I love ROCK and I like the Blues. (Country but not much of today's country.)

But for some reason I really liked them. Watching them on Ellen the other night, they didn't sound as sharp, they looked a lot older and I found that funny that it shocked me. I mean it was over 30 years ago, I don't look the same either. But it was one of their first hits and it just brought a warm happy memory fall over me.  Music does that so well, doesn't it?

I saw a man on television recently talking about this. The man was a comedian and they asked him how he got to love John Denver. He said my goodness when I was growing up the radio was all types of music and I knew and love it all. He said, "there is no such thing as black music. (he was a black) and when friends say that to me I shut them down!'  

He said, "you need to be open to everything, it's called music."

I agree but then again rap makes my ears bleed so there is that.

But I understood what he was trying to say. 

It was so much better when I could hear it all on one station and be introduced to more variety of music. 

Tuesday

God how I am missing a big city and sophistication.  

Will I get used to this?

One of my favorites from Billy. 

 

I was sad to read that Naomi Judd died of suicide. Depression is so difficult.  Sometimes unless you've been there I think it's hard to wrap your head around how damn dark it is. I never understood until it happened to me many years ago. My love for Rick is the only reason I'm here. I remember it so well. I just couldn't do that to him but man it was close. too close. But until I lived it I never understood the darkness. I used to think you could snap out of it. HA. I feel so badly for her family as well as her that this was the only way she could be out of that pain.

RIP Naomi. 

Work Stoppage!

Rick got his lathe back from the manufacturer and we're hoping it's really fixed.  But you all know that means that all work inside my home has stopped.

There is a point in my day when I feel the pills kick in and I sit for a spell or nap.  More often it's a sit-in Rick's ugly chair and before you know it I'm waking up an hour later. I'm turning into my husband with these meds! :-) 

I awoke to find these on the table. I laughed. He is getting good at this.

He "needs" an extender he tells me to make bigger bowls. That will wait mister until medical bills are finished. 

Since I've got nothing else here are some of his latest creations.

BEFORE 

AFTER

Change the name to Margaret and this would be about right? Wouldn't it be nice if M&M's came up after planting? Now that's a Peg garden if there ever was one. 

 

Alert!

Ah, my Mondays are bad so I will just leave you with this.

Have you seen any of this crazy trial?  These two are certifiable!

Booty Shake

For 35 years my husband has teased me.
I finally could return the favor but in a far less outrageous way as he manages to do. I'm a rookie so give me time. Although it was far easier to get him to believe me than I could imagine. 

As I shared here the other day we began weeding and mulching that big ole mound with the sign on it on the corner of our property. Each time Rick bent over and put his hiney in the air, the horns honked. 

Well, we were at it again and actually finished it Friday. 

Again he does this. I guess it's more comfortable for him. I have no issues, kneeling or squatting. But the weirdo was at it again. The horns were honking. Because I was facing him and he couldn't see who was going by I told him it was the same blue car as yesterday and I think this guy likes you Rick. Yeah, no blue car, no same guy.

Then as if on cue more honks with enough time in between to go around the block happen. So I told Rick it was the same guy just going around the block. 

He says, well maybe I should shake it since he likes it so much. 

I laugh and say I dare you!
Knowing full well it is not the same person and whoever sees him shake his booty will howl and probably hit a pole from laughter.

Rick walked off the mound and filled up the wheel barrel. 

He came back and he dumped it and asked if I could finish he'd bring another load to the side of the house where we planned on going next.
I know he thinks I'm telling the truth. It's not the same man. 

It's just random people laughing at this 6'2" jackass with his hiney in the air facing a major road/corner.

Because of where I am standing and doing this I see the cars. Rick's back is to them.  He doesn't know that it is all types of people. He thinks it's one man in a blue car. It's everyone across the board. So the next honk comes and sure enough, he shakes his booty. I laugh my ass off and I see Tom across the street looking at him. I wave and he is laughing and yells, "what the hell is he doing?" Tom walks over. He asks Rick what he was doing and Rick said "some guy keeps driving by and honking at my big ole butt in the air. I thought I'd just give him a show."

 Now I am laughing. Tom said, "is it always the same guy" 

Rick says, "yes, I haven't seen him but Peg has and said he's in a blue Nissan"  

OMG.  He does believe me and I'm feeling bad now that he is lying to this guy.

But then I remember the Cooks Forest Story and think, Nah this is harmless I'm not telling anyone (except bloggers) 

So we finished up the front of the house and started some things on the side but that too will wait until another day. 

I know I'll end up telling him the truth. 

I can't just lie to him as it seems so easy for him to do to me. 

Of course, I point that fact out each time to him and tell him what a bad man he is and it only makes him laugh all the more so I'll let him shake his ass to cars passing by and by the fool on the corner. 

And if it lands on that damn Next Door site all the better!!

That would make me so happy!

I don't know why I get such a kick out of doing this to him but I do. 

White Gloves

I did my ancestry a few years ago. I believe I shared here that I had to turn off notifications because every day there were more and more relatives coming out of the woodwork emailing me. 

I didn't care about finding more relatives. But they wanted to chat.

I don't care about having more family in my life. A 6th cousin really?

If that makes me a horrible person, then I am indeed. I couldn't ignore the emails I thought that was rude. But after I did that I turned off all new notifications so I wouldn't continue to be bombarded with emails from strangers.

I just wanted to see my DNA in hopes of being more than I thought I was.

But nope, I wasn't Irish or Scottish or anything else at all that I was hoping.

Yesterday I received a notice of some updates to my DNA so I figured what the hell it's something I can do without physical stress so I went to check out my new updates.

They now have a way to show you what you got from Parent 1 and what you got DNA-wise from Parent 2. 

I find it fascinating that my sister and I who have the same parents could have different DNA. She could have received more from parent 1 than I did or vice versa. Then after thinking about it for a bit I realized well, she is my father through and through and I am more my mom so I guess why wouldn't our DNA be like that too?

But I do not know which parent is 1 or 2. 

I wish I knew if #1 was mom or dad.

Parent One gave me mostly Northern and Central Italy. I will assume that is mom's side because her parents came from an area in the north.

Parent 2 gave me mostly southern and southwestern Italy. I'll go with Dad because his family was in Naples.

There is a slice of <3% Cyprus from Parent 2. 

So my makeup is 98% Italy and <3% Cyprus. That is what it states but that adds up to 101 so I don't think that is correct. But what do I know?

Boy, I'd love to know which parent gave me what. 

And Cyrpus? That's a new one that was never there before. 

But after looking this over I went to another page and saw that I had 5,100 matches now. Is that more than normal?  Are those crazy dagos breeding like bunnies? That seems high to me. This is why I turned off my notifications because I was getting emails from everyone who saw a connection. Who has time for such things?

Rick knows I had strong feelings about never ever dating an Italian American man when I was a kid. So when he saw there were over 5K matches he said it was a good thing I never dated an Italian American man because they may have been related to me. 

I got a chuckle out of that because it could be true.

Not the reason I refused to date them but it is a good call I think.

Now before the Italian American men give me grief you have to understand that where I sat in my home these were not men that I would ever want to be dating. I loved my father but chauvinistic is an understatement. He was more of a 'do as I say not as I do.'   Oh, he had a lot of great qualities but there were some that would be deal-breakers to me. 

I didn't know a single one of them that wasn't a cheater. I saw how they treated women. They expected dinner on the table, do as they are told, barefoot and pregnant kind of thing. My father told me girls can do 2 things, get married or be a nun. Maybe if you must work be a nurse or teacher only.

To a young woman growing up in the early 70s, this was the anti-sentiment I wanted. I wanted a career. I wanted travel. I wanted to not be a teacher, nurse, mom, or ever be pregnant. I wanted a career, I didn't think I could have both. So I was not a good daughter. To my father, I was focused on the wrong things and he spent my 12 yrs in school trying to get those things out of my head. God love him. He tried. It didn't work. It only made me more determined to do what I wanted to do, be what I wanted to be, and live the life I wanted to live, not to live his life. He never fully understood and he even once told me he was disappointed in me as he sat in my new house that I bought with my career. He said a real woman would have had children and not a career. I took it and was respectful but don't think for a minute it didn't hurt like hell. But my mom is dead, she was not here to defend me, to support me. (stepmom was like dad & even if she didn't agree she would never ever say so to him!)

So I sucked it up because there was no talking to him. There was no reasoning with him. He was right, I was wrong and a disappointment..in his eyes.

I watched my cousins and uncles and my father, all of whom I loved and adored in a lot of ways. They just weren't my kind of dating material that is all. It was about ME.  Do I know that there are exceptions to this rule? 

Hell yes, I have a cousin who is not like the others. There were many but as a young girl I was so put off by their shenanigans that I felt it was best to only date those whose last names ended in a consonant. 

And that is what I did. 

I did not make this proclamation unless talking to my girlfriends. I mean I was young and dumb but not that dumb. I would NEVER have uttered those words in my home. Dear me that would have caused issues that I would not have wanted to deal with. It was bad enough that I rebelled against their religion then to add this salt to his wound would have sent my father over the edge. ( I couldn't leave his religion until I moved out though. I was respectful while living under his roof) 

But I ended up doing that to him all the time in some form or another so I guess it didn't matter. I never meant to but you all know me I have strong feelings and when I was 16 I let them be known. 

He would say something bigoted, racist, chauvinistic, and I would try to reason with him.(he was Archie Bunker) It took me a while to realize you can't reason with people like him. But I was a teenager. I was an idiot.

Now I would just shut up and do whatever it was unbeknownst to him so he wasn't hurt. I was the first of his 5 daughters. 

I broke rules and I paid the price! many times!

My sisters knew not to do that. But then none of my sisters are strong in their convictions and most are wishy-washy and are led around by their men and they do as they are told so it is more like, "one of these things is not like the others" and that was me. My father was proud of them, even the ones who had kids with different fathers, were unmarried or 'had' to get married as they say. Yet I was the disappointment. Why?  Well, they had children and were moms of course. 

I was my mom's daughter. Sadly she left when I was 13 and I had no one now like me. I have always felt alone in my family after my mom died. 

My mother grew up in a time when she had no choices either. She used to tell me how others called her an old maid because she was unmarried in her 20s. This really bothered her even years later. 

She was considered old at age 27 when she got married and that's so sad to me. She also wanted so much more out of her life that she was not allowed to have. So she was always encouraging me to be what I wanted to be. She was a cheerleader for my sister and me. 

On her last day in our home before she left for the hospital she told me to fly, to soar, to be strong and even though Dad is telling me I can't, be respectful but DO. I will never ever forget that conversation. Boy she knew my dad and she knew what I was headed into and she was preparing me I just didn't "get it" all on that day at age 13. But her talk with me is imprinted on my brain. It was a long conversation about getting a new mom in the future and really setting me up so I could deal with what was coming. I can't imagine her strength. 

She had to quit school in the 11th grade to help support her family during the war. Her brother was in school as a senior and her father told her

that her brother could stay in school because as a man he needed his high school degree, mom, he felt didn't need an education. (OH MY GOD) 

So mom got a job in a factory. She was angry. She hated leaving school because she loved school. For the entire 13 years of my life, my mom had a book in her hand, arm, purse, etc. She was reading all the time. I know it was because she felt she was inferior. I saw that even as a kid. 

She bought me the encyclopedias and I swear she got them for herself. 

She would read them for heaven's sake. I came home once and she was having a cigarette and a cup of coffee reading an encyclopedia at the kitchen table. Who does that? 

She would have loved the internet!!

She took me to the library and got me involved in reading.  

She took me to the museum and we learned new things and went to lunch. 

I loved those days. Mainly because I was a girly girl and I loved getting dressed up and wearing gloves to go to lunch and the museum. I never realized all that I was learning. To me, these were just fun mom days that were filled with art, music, and books. I realized much kater in life she did this to learn. I just loved those times together and I loved getting dressed up and putting on my gloves. 

Which now I find hysterical. Ah, the good old days before wearing yoga pants out in public. 

Can you all imagine wearing white gloves now? 🤣

Out of Focus

Why when I was employed did the workday drag on and now it goes so quickly?  So not fair!

As I have shared. I am having a difficult time focusing as I normally can. Same with multi-tasking. I wish someone could tell me why. 

Is it these freaking drugs and chemo?

Because of my focus issue, I am going to post some memes for today while I get my shit together. HA HA. Yeah, I laughed too. But I'm gonna sure try.

This dog's pose seemed so purposeful to me it made me laugh out loud!

                                                        (and my parents) 

Wednesday

Gee, I said I'd be back on Wednesday and here it is 8:43P and I'm finally back at my desk. 

My visit yesterday with Tammie was great. But it wore me out.

I push and pushed and it was worth it!

We had a great visit of doing nothing more than laughing, and talking and she and Rick had some wine and I made them lunch.

When I knew she got home I fell asleep...for 10 hours.

Funny eh? 

Today was a bit of a lazy day. Rick worked outside alone. I took it easy. 

Did a couple things then did nothing. I needed it.

When this is all over with - the drugs - I wonder how long it will take me to get my stamina back? How long before I look like me again? 

Rick got his new lathe and that means he only wants to be in the garage working with wood and epoxy. We were almost done with the fireplace dang it. I asked if we could set aside some time to finish and he laughed. Of course, he tells me. Hmm...I know that he got so much done inside because that damn lathe broke down. Now I am in competition with an inanimate object of his desire. tee hee

While I am whining I hate missing all these baseball games. Sucks to have to choose medical bills over baseball. (game on Apple TV this Friday though!) 

Betty's gonna die but she's also going to leave me broke. This is not cheap. I have medicare A B and supplements on top of that. But that is not enough. You have to be rich if you are seriously ill in America. 

I am not rich. 

I recall in 1969 when my mom died my father was buried under medical bills. I remember his stress. I remember him having to finally go into bankruptcy and he was so humiliated, ashamed and all those fun words that one feels after that. 

My father was a small business owner with 2 daughters under 13 and a dead wife. I know it was tough on him. He was only 40 yrs old.

I remember a visit from his brother sitting at our kitchen table. I heard some of the adult conversation and my father was broken. I will never forget it. 

My father who I thought was the strongest, biggest, baddest man in the land was a small broken man sitting at that table. That was the first time I saw him as a person and not my invincible dad. I have never forgotten that. I heard my uncle offer him a lot of money to help but my father wouldn't take it. He was proud and stubborn and I would probably do the same. But I find it sad that almost 60 years later nothing has changed in America regarding the cost of health care and how it can hurt as much as the damn disease. 

Thankfully after several years of hard work my father was able to dig himself out of that and build up his future again. But it shouldn't need to be that difficult. It shouldn't have had to be that difficult. It still makes me angry as you can see. I see my bills piling up and being paid as I can. A big one from Duke was sent with the words that they will help me by allowing me to make payments. Lay-a-way medicine. I prefer lay-a-way clothing 😁

The power ball is huge right now and I told Rick if we won and paid my medical bills as they come in will we have any left? He laughed and said maybe enough to go out to dinner. 

And speaking of dinner. When I started this journey I told you I was taking 12 steroid pills a day. My God they made me ravenous and I refused to eat.I refused to eat because I knew it wasn't real hunger just steroid munchies. Sometimes when I gave in it was with pineapple, berries, and the like. Sometimes ice cream that I so did not need. But as they have tapered off I no longer ever feel like eating. I feel so huge and bloated that food does not appeal to me. I can be so hungry and then just eat something small like tonight I had a 1/2 piece of a grilled chicken breast and I couldn't even finish half of it and I'm fine. But the weight keeps coming. Besides, it's difficult to eat when your underwear is tight. Yes, my underwear is tight. See why I refuse to eat? 

The weather today was perfect. We got a cool spell and it was 65 with a great cool breeze. It was lovely. I did sit on the patio for a while to feel the sun on my face. I could take today's weather for another month or so. 

I will leave you with a funny that I saw happen to Rick today. Well, it was funny to me. I walked out onto the front porch and sat a spell on the sofa. 

I saw Rick come around the corner with a wheel barrel full of mulch taking it to the corner mound with the development sign. I watched him dump it and then spread it. His butt was facing the busy side street and his ass was in the air as he is doing this. A car drove by and honked, then another. 

I had to laugh. They were only honking because his ass was in the air. 

He would stand up and look and when he saw me he shouted, what are they honking for? I yelled, "Your Ass"

That made him laugh and he didn't believe me. He was doing more work and then he bent over again for a bit and another car honked. He stopped working after that. I just laughed.

I said it was probably the same guy, he just kept driving around the block to watch you, big boy. I told him tomorrow will be a better day for me so I will be back to help. He dumps it I spread it, but I don't bend. I squat or kneel. My ass is not going to be honked at by this busy side street. 

No, no kids are going to yell, "hey fat ass" as they drive by me. 

I don't understand why he feels the need to bend as he does to do this. 

I remind him how he told me he was no longer bending but I made the mistake of telling him this when he took a sip of his water. 

He did a spit take. 

Oh, yea he says, Maybe they were honking to remind me. 

Yes, that's it Richard, whatever makes you feel better.

I Can See Stuff

As it seems to go the day of my chemo pills added into the mix I feel like shit by that evening. The next day is even worse. But for some reason the last couple of times I felt that badly something good happened afterward.

Sunday was a bear and then as I put my head down I swore something popped in my head. It kind of hurt. My eye was killing me so I opened and closed my eyes and then held them shut and reopened them. My God the white was gone in my right eye. I let out a scream. I ran to get Rick to tell him. There was no more snow in my right eye!  I could see figures. 

Oh, not what they were but I could see figures albeit fuzzy. 

Do you know how great that is?  I can see peripherally. 

Okay again, I can see something is there but not what it is sharply. 

Better than snow!! Hopefully, Rick will stop calling me Mrs. Magoo now.

So it's working. Looking like shit, feeling even worse is worth it if Betty is gonna die or at the very least be bullied into submission and the wench will become very small. I'm going to taunt the bitch.

I was on a high after this happened. If I had had the energy I would have jumped up and down. But inside I was. 😁

My blogger friend is stopping by tomorrow to visit. 

It's a 90-minute drive from her place in NC but she is going to spend the day with me and catch up. I told her to wear her pj's so I won't feel like I have to be all dressed up...or dressed. LOL

My friends have been so good to me during all of this. Ro, sent me the most gorgeous roses! I have emails and texts and calls. Friends are wonderful, aren't they? 

 

I have one sister who has reached out to see if I'm doing okay out of the 4 of them. Typical. My mom calls and heaven forbid it goes to voicemail she is calling Rick if I don't respond right away. She's funny.

The last call from Mom I had been laying down. I did not have my phone in the room so I didn't know it rang. It went to voicemail. Apparently, she called again a short time later. I did not answer again. She then called Rick's phone. Rick had his hands full with stuff from the workshop and he had just walked into the house when she called him. There was a man coming to purchase something so he was just running into the house to put down some things and run to the bathroom and his phone rang. He told mom I was just sleeping to not worry. But apparently, because he was in a hurry she felt he was being short with her and she called me again. I had to explain that he wasn't trying to be short, he had his hands full, he had to go to the bathroom and he was in a hurry because he was meeting someone and he was trying to be quick. Sorry about that. Now I have to have him call her to apologize. 

Family is funny.

I explained to her that I nap a bit here and there. Never more than 2 hrs and again explained the sleep disturbances from these meds to remind her that I'm okay even if I'm napping. I am not sick except for what the drugs are doing to me. So I have to call to give her an update in the morning so that she won't worry if I don't answer the phone with someone here. 

I was going to call her when I 'saw' that I had some sight again after all these years. But it was late and I thought she'd be in bed. This morning I called but she was working. She works a couple days a week. I will not be doing that at 80. :-) 

Before the meds kick in I try to do all that I can do. 

We got mulch down in the front portion of the home and one side.

We have a huge area where our development sign is located to do this week.  They came to deliver at 8:30am. They called and said they were 10 minutes out. We asked for morning delivery and then when they called Rick said, "why did we say this early?"  I had to laugh. I was not going to allow him to do this all alone. While I am feeling okay I can do this too and we can get it done faster. Yes, I am tired. Yes, even on a good day I feel like crap, but I can push through all that if need be and this morning I needed to.

The young man asked Rick if he was doing this full 6 cubic yards of mulch by himself. He told him that was a lot of work and to be careful. Rick thought it was cute how he was looking out for this old guy. He told him not to do this all at once and stuff like that. 

Oh, heaven's we can't do it all at once anymore. We even sat a bit in the shade between areas. We don't push that hard. We have time and no timetable. It will get done when it gets done.

Rick suggested this young man stay and help out, we'd feed him and give him beverages. The kid laughed and said I wish I could sir. I have to tell you since moving here all the people who have come to our home have been 5 stars. It's out in the rest of the world that they can suck it appears.

We began immediately to fill up the wheel barrel and I grabbed a couple of 5 gal buckets and brought things to the front of the house. Our little friend from the nursery drove by about 4 hrs later when we had the front part done and honked and waved to us and put his hand out the window with a thumbs up. At this point, I was done for the day. I hate leaving this for Rick to do. The lightheaded shit, the dizzy shit, the shakiness, and nausea, and all the fatigue came over me like a preverbal wave. I came inside and poured myself a big glass of ice water and brought some out to Rick and then sat for a few. He did around the corner and stopped for the day and I was thankful since I couldn't do more.

But I kept telling myself - this is Short term shit. You can see figures now Peg. More short-term shit and you should be able to see something better soon.  I try to keep it in perspective. That and the fact that I don't have a more serious disease. I just keep repeating this over and over again. And I have my hair so far and I am thankful. I will say, it is not the same hair but it's on my head and I'll take this limp hair over no hair.  

So there ya have it. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah to Betty!

I will not be here in the morning due to Tammie coming over. 

Come on what is better than a friend who doesn't care that my house isn't up to snuff or that I will be looking like crap and be wearing comfy fat clothes and doing nothing more than sitting on a sofa. (rick's t-shirts of late since mine are tight and his are 4-6 sizes larger than me. oh, it's attractive. his t-shirts come to my knees like a dress. but ladies is there anything comfier than your man's soft old t-shirt? too bad I can't wear them in public.) 

I expect to be back on Wednesday.

I mean c'mon someone has to bitch about Elon Musk buying Twitter.

Gardening.

 

It is how we garden now.

How 'bout you?

A Hot Head

Rick went to mow the lawn and he got one lap around the back of the house and a belt broke. This is not something he can fix. 

Rick can build the garage to house the mower, but he can't fix the mower. 

He did go to YouTube University and it didn't help him.  Mechanical and plumbing are his kryptonite. 

His next step was to ask those on Next Door for a local lawn mower repair. 

He was bombarded with the same 2 names over and over again. 

Rick contacted both. 

He was told this was the busy season and it could be a bit of a wait. 

We assumed that would be the case. 

Repair Person #1 said he could possibly get to it in 10 days.

Repair Person #2 said he could get to it Friday or Saturday. Rick already has the belt so this guy said Rick was making it easier that way.

He is to be coming here hopefully this Friday morning. (today) 

Both companies have the repair people come to us which we found helpful because we'd have no way to get this mower to them. 

Our lawn really needs to be mowed so I hope so. Thankfully no HOA to yell at us. In our old neighborhood, we'd have been written up already!

We went back to the Raleigh Farmers Market yesterday. 

We were short one laurel for the front. 

I knew that on Wednesday while there but Rick insisted I was wrong.

Then we got home and we put things where they were to go and he said, shit you were right.  

Yep, I know I was right that is why I said it, but this was not said out loud.

 

Ladies, it is exhausting being correct all the time and to watch him be so defiant. When I was younger and we were living together I'd have had words with him and a fight would ensue. Then we went to pre-marital counseling. I learned more about triggers of his and mine.

Then I learned he doesn't respond well to that so then I'd be a funny smart ass and that seemed to work for our last 34 yrs. 

So for 35 yrs now I just make him see it through my eyes in a different way. Doesn't help one damn bit for him to listen.

But it helps me not to throttle him with my bare hands when he frustrates me so. I just couldn't survive prison. 

I have to get it out somehow and our banter usually defuses the situation and makes us laugh and generally makes him see my point. Works both ways and I see him do it to me. We couldn't be more different from one another in this area. He's a hot head. I am not. 

And if he were reading that line right now he'd say, "No I'm not" 

Then I would say, "What about when you did XYZ?  

He would then laugh and say, so what you're saying is I'm hot right?   

Yes, that is what I'm saying, "You're hot. And an ass!"  We'd both laugh.

So see, laughing does help us. Trust me this conversation was had once sadly.

Of course, I can't say to him when he says you were right, Yes I know moron. 

So instead I said, "I bet someone told you that you needed 4 of them but you thought they were crazy!"

"Exactly! he says. The woman who told me is nuts but you'd think I'd listen to her after 35 yrs wouldn'tcha? One of these days I'll be right and she'll be in shock."

"Doubtful, I think she'll probably just fall over dead that you would ever see that she is correct and then to actually say so"

"Oh hell I'd never tell her she was right, I would just listen to her suggestions more."

"Oh good, you think you're able to do that?"

" Hell no, but it sounded good didn't it?"

That fool's banter with me does make me chuckle.

Green Acres

I'd like to chat with my blogger friends today about a few things rolling around in my little old head.

First off I'm sorry so many of my posts are about this 6-month protocol. As the steroids go down in numbers I do have some very good days of late. Instead of 12 a day I'm down to six a day. Yee-ha. Big difference in how I am feeling so far this week.  I am to take these until the first part of June. Chemo light as I call it is 6 months of 10pills on Sunday only. 

Then Sunday later in the day and Monday are very bad days.  

So to all who continue to ask how long in comments...Chemo can be up to 6 months. (3 more months after steroids are done) I'll know more after my eye exam in June.

But it has NOT spread to my other eye since starting this. As you can assume this great news all were hoping for or I'd need to learn Braille quickly!  So it's working as it should. Horrific side effects as well.

The other day it was 85 degrees. Rick was in his shop and I saw him walk onto the patio. I grabbed my coffee and went out to join him at the table. He told me he was taking a break.  He took off his shirt for some sun. 

Here I sit across from him wearing leggings, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt and I was freezing!!!! Normally I am warm and 85 degrees is the absolute hottest I can take without bitching. (See the pattern?) This cold is weird for me. As I type this, my arms are tingling like I've been outside in 12 degrees, they feel like they have been in ice water and I'm covered in 2 layers. I'm not even sure which meds do this but I'm not a fan.  

__________________

I am thankful I flew on a plane in early March before they tossed the mask mandate. I must wear one now with a suppressed immune system. I had an ole local man say to me at the store that I didn't have to wear that anymore as he pointed to my face mask. (I've been told this so many times!)

I realized I smiled but of course wearing a mask he didn't see it. I paused for what seemed like forever trying to think about what I should say vs what I WANTED to say. I finally settled on, "I don't wear this for you, I wear this for me. I have a health condition causing my body to have a suppressed immune system, this is not a political statement nor should it ever be sir. It's just for my health right now". He apologized to my shock and amazement. 

I thanked him. I don't think he'll do that again. I mean to say he was so nice after that. Mind your business!

_____________

On Sundays and Mondays, I don't normally lift my head much. I am horizontal a great deal on those days. So I tend to watch a lot of TV on these specific days IF I am awake enough to focus.

I saw an ad for First Ladies a new show on Showtime. I also saw the 3 main actresses on a talk show about it (Kimmel I believe) and it made me want to tune in. I liked the 3 actresses.

Gillan Anderson as Eleanor Roosevelt. Michelle Pfeifer as Betty Ford and Viola Davis as Michelle Obama.

First, allow me to share that I love everything Viola Davis does. But she RUINS this show. She purses her lips when she plays Michelle. They drew in eyebrows like a seriously weird Muppet. You can't stop watching her contort her face and it's so damn horrific. That is not one bit how she spoke or looked. The eyebrows. Oh, Lord! Viola is horrendous thus far in this.

The other two are great. Now I did not live when the Roosevelt's were in office so it's a lot of new info for me. What's that Peg you didn't pay attention in history class? Yes, you are correct! History used to bore me and now I like it but the real history, not the clean and scrubbed bullshit like Columbus discovered America.

I did live during The Fords. Michelle so far is great as Betty Ford. Balls to the wall Betty! I always liked her, her husband was my issue back in the day. This has made me like her even more so far anyway!  I don't know how many episodes are in the series. It's on Sunday nights on Showtime.

_____________________

You know how I love to powerwash? Well, I feel the same about weed whacking and edging. Oh, a nice straight edge gets me all a twitter. 

LOL

We are charging the battery now but I still have to wait for Rick to mow the lawn first before I use this. I have not used the mower and since he is still getting used to it, I'll let him get very used to it.  After he mows then I can edge. At least that is what he wants me to do and I'm a good wife I'm gonna listen. Yea, I couldn't type that without laughing either.

This city girl is awaiting the arrival of her black mulch that will be delivered on Monday and she's excited. Boy, how my life has changed. 

It still feels like Green Acres around here. 

(Rick:) 

Farm livin' is the life for me.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

(Peg:)
New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

Earlier today I yelled to Rick across the yard - "I thought we gave up bending" as I am pulling weeds, planting shrubs, and on my knees bending.  Some of the shrubs seem to me to be so small but I do recall that at our old home they began the sad same way and they grew in just fine. That first year though they look a bit small and oddly out of place. 

________________________

There is a show on I believe TLC. Rick of course found this sucker after another of his gross shows like Dr. Pimple Popper. This woman makes body parts for people who have lost them for whatever reason. She made an ear for a young girl that was so damn good, arms for a young mother who got sepsis and lost her arms. A man who lost his nose and it was just a hole in the front of his face. He became a hermit as you can well imagine. She made him a nose from photos. It fit his face perfectly and it gave him the confidence to go out into the world and live his life. It was such a good show. I make fun of Rick and all the goofy shit he watches but when he told me to watch this I did and I'm glad I did. I cried. I mean c'mon. I am crying because this young girl has an ear and no one will make fun of her again. It's a good and fascinating show. These women they have shown who make these parts are so damn good at their job. I would think this would be so fulfilling. But since I can't draw a stick person you wouldn't want me to make your nose!  

Miss me?

Yes, last week was killer. It seems as if this chemo shit is building up I feel worse. No surprise I suppose. I just couldn't write last week. 

Did any of you see 60 minutes last night and the new flying cars? (eVOLS)

As we were watching it Rick made the sound of George Jetson's car. 

Of course that made me laugh. 

To which he responded, "This is the reason why I can't date a young thing, she'd never understand that sound." 

I responded, "You think that is the reason you shouldn't date a young thing? Perhaps that you are an old fart and married may be the reason you don't date a young thing!  

"Oh yeah, I guess that too" as he laughs.

Another fun thing that happened on Easter. We were enjoying the beautiful weather and sitting on our front porch. I have good mornings so I try to do a lot in the mornings. Watered the garden, spray painted an outdoor table, watered my flowers and power washed the front porch, steps, and railings. Then I'm shot for the day as pathetic as that is. 

But again as I have said here before I just LOVE to power wash. 

I think it's part of my anal-retentive issues. I love seeing that clean and those lines. Rick was making fun of me and telling me to do the driveway. 

I said okay. Then he yelled, "NO. I'm making fun of you, the driveway is huge, no you are not doing the driveway."  Sadly I would have. 

my long driveway 

Yes, we have a long driveway. Thankfully we no longer have to shovel or snow blow this driveway! I'd powerwash anyone's anything I just love it so. 

Except for the time I did the top-level wrap-around deck at our vacation home. Oh, that was bad. I wrote about it in 2018. But it was far earlier in our lake home's life that I powered washed after cocktails. Not a good move. As my flip flop (another bad move) caught a nail and I lost my balance my arms were flailing to catch my balance and somehow or another I ran that power washer over my foot way too close. It opened a wound in the top of my foot. Rick heard the scream on the floor below and came running. He said everyone could have heard that scream. (oops! sorry!)

Oh not a cut, a full open wound. I recall seeing the inside of my foot. Not even blood at first, just an open gaping hole of my innards. It was so gross and I almost passed out. That was bad. So no cocktails before power washing. Lesson learned! And to wear shoes. Such common sense, yet I lost my mind on that day!  The doctors at the urgent care gave me a lot of shit I deserved too so you don't have to. 😁 Yesterday I wore shoes and did not drink prior to power washing. I mean it was 9am for Pete's sake.  (like that has ever stopped me, it's 5p somewhere my grandmother taught me) 

A neighbor walked by with his big old dog Cody. Cody is a husky and just damn beautiful. He stopped in front of our house and just stared at us on the porch. That made us both laugh. The man was pulling him to leave. He wanted to come to see us. He was pulling the owner onto our yard with such strength and determination it was comical. We have not met this dog. We see this man regularly walking by our home and we wave but that's it. We have never met him. 

I yelled to him to ask if I could come to pet his dog. He said I think that is what he wants. So I ran down the steps and to the end of the yard and the dog ran to me pulling his owner. We loved on one another and I sat in the grass and Cody sat next to me and just laid his head on my thigh. I was in heaven. The dog and I just sat on the front lawn while we spoke to his owner and I rubbed Cody. Cody was calm and content.

Just what the doctor ordered for me. The owner was just shocked at Cody's behavior. He asked where our dog was and I shared that Izzy had passed away. I said maybe Cody knew I needed a dose of dog love today. The owner laughed. It just felt like Cody knew I needed that yesterday and he made me feel a whole lot better!

Don was the name of his owner and he told me that his dog is not a loyal breed and is not loyal to anyone. He will take off running if allowed. 

He said he would see our dog lay in the yard or driveway sunning herself and never move. I said she was the opposite of Cody.  

But Cody didn't want to leave on this day either. 

I told Cody's owner if he ever wants or needs to have someone watch him we'd be happy to. I needed that dose of dog lovin'. It was a very nice visit and he thanked us for painting the sign and taking care of things on this corner. That was nice of him. It was a glorious visit but Cody had to go home. He went with this owner and kept turning back. 

Don yelled I think you made a friend! 

Oh, Cody did indeed. 

The rest of our "holiday" was uneventful and quiet just how we like 'em.

I hope you all had a nice holiday with your loved ones.