Power

We were watching a baseball game Tuesday night. In the bottom of the 8th, the power went out.

Great. I got the battery candles and flashlight, and we waited. The energy company said it'd be on by 1:30 a.m. Great.

What wasn't great was that Rick was in the ugly chair, which is not a manual chair. Since we needed electricity, he could not put the chair down. 

Rick's bad wife couldn't stop laughing. We tried. Oh how we tried various ways to get him out of this. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Do you know how difficult it is to get this big man out of a chair? Add his new physical issues since the stroke and we just couldn't do it. But boy we laughed a lot.

Then he had to pee. I suggested a mason jar. He was adamant we had to get him out. Bad back, bad shoulder and I'm trying to lift 240lbs. 

He was free! It was 3:30am. 

Power was back at 5:18am. 

We still don't know why the power went out. No storms, calm day.

I haven't been to sleep. Rick is in bed and out like a light. 

I expect to accomplish nothing today.

A long nap is in my future. I hope.

Rental Car

We picked up our rental car on Friday. 

Rick was very tired from the gym and he asked that I drive.

The car rental gal brought us to the car, showed us how to turn it on, etc.

It is a hybrid.  We are leaving it on gas.  But she said, as you can hear, it is silent, but it's on.  Okay, I got that.  My first thought was - geez this is huge. 

Now to get in this car. The running board was at my knees.  I grabbed the steering wheel to help hoist me up. Honestly, they make these cars for Amazon people.

It is a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  I used to have one and I loved it. 

This car not so much.

I drove home with my tippy toes. Once I got Rick inside and fed I went back to the car.  I attempted to move the seat to reach the pedals, which was rather important.  

I had to drop the steering wheel to see over the dash and not through the steering wheel.  I finally got the seat, the mirrors, the steering wheel, etc all where I needed it to be to drive. I hit #1 to save it.  This will allow Rick to be number 2 so he doesn't have to spend all this time changing my settings. Besides, Rick can't get his leg in the car with the seat that far up so there is that bit of fun.

But it's a rather jerky car until you get the feel of it. The way it 'kicks' into the mode to drive is jerky. I have driven it enough now to know what to do. However, Rick has only driven it once and he hates this vehicle.

So while looking for a new car, Jeep was on our list, and will not be now.

It's too high for one. We need something that can adapt to both of us. 

Speaking of high - The rental car company picked us up to get the car.

They picked us up in a Dodge Ram truck.  That running board was at my mid-thighs. I tried to get my foot up there and would laugh. 

Not as flexible as I once was. I attempted this 3x and if there had been something for me to grab in that back seat I could have done it. But there wasn't. I was flailing.  We both were laughing in our driveway. This was not helping my pain and yet I couldn't stop laughing because this was crazy!!

Thank God Rick did not have his phone on him or this would have been on America's Funniest Videos.

The driver apologized and told me they don't usually use this vehicle for that reason but it's all they had today.  Finally, I told Rick to just push/shove my ass in the back seat, please.  He grabbed my ass and pushed me into the back seat on my belly.  How adult of me. But, he got me in there. 

Then it was quite the jump down to leave this truck. 

I was quite the feminine site. My mother was rolling over in her grave.

But to add awkwardness we couldn't figure out anything inside the car and we couldn't stop laughing at how dumb we were. We got it so I could drive us home and then we thought we'd deal with it all at home.

A long time ago there was a commercial for Travelocity or one of those types of sites. This young woman was attempting to make a hotel reservation for her parents.

They were in a hotel and slid off the "chairs" that were concrete and they couldn't figure out how to turn on the shower etc. Everything was difficult for them.

That's what Rick and I felt like right at that moment.

Our car is so old we use a key to start it. This had a push button.

And we are so used to a stick to put it into drive, park etc. 

But this has a button for your P R N D.

I kept reaching for a stick. 

We were given a key fob but aside from opening the back hatch and locking the doors, I wasn't sure of its overall purpose because I could still do both of the things I mentioned without it. 

So thinking I had a handle on this car I didn't see the need to bring the fob. 

I went out to the car to pick up Rick. But the car won't start unless the key fob is in range. Okay, that would have been a good thing to be told.

I go back into the house to get the fob that I brought inside. 

But where did it go? I know I put it with my keys on the corner of the island.

I tore apart the house!! Rick is waiting for me and I can't leave the house.

Okay, retrace your steps one more time Margaret. 

I retrace. I even went into rooms I was never in to look for the fob, but it wasn't to be found.  Now my back is rearing its head and so I lean over the kitchen island for a reprieve of pain and I see Rick's shoes that he never puts away sitting at the end of the island. I look down and see something shiny.  I bent down and looked in his shoe and eureka! 

The fob had fallen into his shoe.

I hightailed it out of there to get Rick. He asked what took me so long. 

I told him. He laughed and said." you didn't know you needed that to start the car?

Oh Margaret, good thing you're cute."

HAHA, funny boy. 

Now we know we won't be buying a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Well unless that is if I grow about 6 - 8 inches taller real quick!

Remote

Each time I receive a spinal injection it takes around 10 -- 14 days to kick in.

Sometimes after it is far worse. That is what happened this time.

I slept, and I use that term loosely, because I was in a bad way. I couldn't sleep, can't lay, can't stand, I'd run away if I could. Thursday morning (4am) Rick said to me that he heard my bare feet scurrying across the floor to get to the hall bath. He went on to tell me that he was a bad husband and debated whether he should get up and see if I needed help. But he was so comfy he decided I'd yell for help if I wanted it. 

That made me laugh.

He couldn't help me and I would have felt just awful to make him be up at that hour so he was fine staying in bed I told him. No guilt.

The only position where the pain was not making my eyes roll into the back of my head was in Rick's ugly chair. All I needed was a catheter. yes, of course, I'm joking....sort of. 

Rick asked if I needed anything before he went to the garage shop. He got me ice water and kissed me on the head. He surrounded me with things he thought I'd like but he left the remote on the table not near me. 

It was all fine for the first 30 minutes then I realized I could not change the station.  I could not reach the remote control.  I watched things I don't normally watch like Paranormal Caught on Camera. 

That tells you my level of pain. I'd rather sit through this stuff than attempt to get the remote because it will hurt me so much.

I couldn't take another ghost, I got up and did a interesting walk to the table and shuffled back all the while making noises because Rick wasn't in the house. I can't make them when he's near because he will feel bad and want to help and he can't help. Why is it that it feels better when you make a noise and make an attempt at what you need to do than if you are quiet and do the same? 

Or it's just me😄

Heavy

Boy, the world is heavy right now.

Middle East War, ugly election, Hurricane Helene, and now Hurricane Milton.

Being in North Carolina, I am bombarded with pictures and stories that are heartbreaking. It's so heavy and tragic. It's getting a bit cold, and there are people with only the clothes left on their backs after the storm, and some have lost shoes. So now I saw where the helo pilots were changing gears from water and food to warm clothing and shoes. 

Now on to Tampa/St Pete where a good many of my family live.

I spoke to 2 of them last night. They were making plans when I was on the phone, they had not finalized their plans of where they were going and who was going with who, etc.  Lots of extended family.  

I can't fathom how they deal with this. I saw this morning that the mayor of Tampa said , "do what you have to do to prepare and then get out of the evacuation zone or you will die."  Holy Shit.

Okay, this is far worse than snow. I am beginning to think shoveling is better. And I don't miss shoveling snow.  But it's looking mighty fine right now.

Sunday morning I was going to run to the new grocery store nearby and pick up some milk and cereal that Rick was out of. Just a quick trip was my thought until Wednesday when I get my check and go shopping.  

Oh boy, I blew it!  

I pulled out of our garage very slowly as always. I have two mirrors on the side of my SUV. I make sure I can clear those two mirrors.  Rick pulled in funny and he told me when I was leaving to straighten out the car. I did that. I was slowly going along and I cleared both mirrors when I heard a crinkling car parts sound. OH, GOD.

I jumped out of the car and saw my bumper lying on the driveway.  

Apparently, my bumper was grabbed by the garage doorway just right and ripped it clean off.  My mirrors were absolutely fine. But my bumper ripped off from the passenger side.  How the hell I did this I don't know but I dreaded going into the house to tell Rick what had just happened.

Rick wasn't feeling good and he was in his ugly chair about to nap.  

I walked in and he immediately said, "Forget something?"

"No Rick, I ripped the bumper off the car"

"What do you mean you ripped the bumper off the car?"
"I didn't like it there so I ripped it off. I'm sorry"

By this time he was up and walking to the back door.

He says NOTHING. This is not like him. I'm thinking to myself, "Just shut up, maybe this is new from the stroke"

He looks at the bumper hanging by one small light and says, "Well you did a very good job, Margaret"

"Thank you. I'm really really sorry Rick"

"Shit happens. It's okay Margaret"

OMG, who is this? If this is what happens after a stroke I'm all for this symptom!  Normally he'd be in dad mode and yelling, "Why didn't you look, did you do this? we can't afford this! yada yada yada"

NOTHING. He said, "Well I think if I get this one piece unscrewed it will be driveable.  He got down on the ground and all I could think of was, "Dear Lord let him get up"  Since the stroke that is an issue so I was praying it wasn't going to be a big issue this time. It wasn't pretty but we got him up.

Rick did all that he wanted to do for the car.  He removed the bumper and the bumper bits and put the whole bumper in the back of the car.  He drove it down our long driveway down the street and back. He said it was driveable. We just don't have turn signals in the front. (so it's not really street-worthy driveable) 

That allowed me to run to the store and hurry home so I didn't get stopped.

I made all the calls needed. Insurance, car rental, body shop, etc.

Rick got it in for an estimate on Monday on the way to the gym. 

It was $2,400. 

I pay my deductible (250) and it goes into the body shop on the 14th of October. It should take a week they told us. 

Now in the meantime, I am being picked up by Enterprise Car Rental Wednesday morning to get a rental vehicle. Thank God for insurance.

I like that they pick me up as well. 

What we found conflicting was the auto body told us it was driveable.

When I made the claim and told them they disagreed. The agent asked what was wrong. then she pulled up our estimate and said, "No it's not driveable. I realize nothing is dragging or leaking but if  you have no signals in the front of your car you should not have it on the road."  I repeated I had signals in the rear and said I could use hand signals (which is what I did when I stopped at the grocery store). My agent laughed at the hand signals. Hey, I learned that in driver's ed - it can't be all bad. 😃 

Enterprise Car asked about the car and what was wrong beside the whole bumper being gone. I told him and said you can't drive that without signals. I said I had them in the back. He laughed at me and said, it wasn't legal.

Now, I don't know if that is true but I have the insurance money to rent a car for 30 days so I'm not fighting them about this. I'll take the car. 

Besides driving this with no bumper is embarrassing.

Rick told me, "We're in Johnston County NC, we fit in now"

Oh dear, I don't want to fit in.

So I'm getting a new car to drive around tomorrow. I planned on going full grocery shopping along with a Costco run so I appreciate having a car to use. Rick's first thought was the gym. I don't know this man anymore.

Honestly, the gym? I'd think, Yeah an excuse not to go to the gym.

As I have said, The After Stroke Rick is so different than Before Stroke Rick that I find it amusing. 

Later on Monday, we decided to take things out of our car before we dropped it off. 

As we were cleaning it out Rick said to me, "I'm sure glad I didn't do this"  

"Oh, I'd have preferred that actually."

"Yes, but you'd think it was a stroke issue and not think I should drive. So what is your excuse?"

Stress I tell him -  from my husband having a stroke.

Nice try.   His only comment made along with a chuckle.

Whew.

Firestick

 My friend Ro is a techie genius. She asked if I had a firestick. 

I said I have a smart TV but I also have a firestick. I find there to be more I can download off the Firestick sometimes. I said, "I downloaded the local news from DC for one thing."  She asked me why would I do that?

More teeth, less crime, just a bit of home that makes us feel good.

I showed her this meme.  She laughed and said, "Gotcha!"

So since you have a home, why aren't you dressed? You agree to go on camera with your teeth in a jar somewhere in your house? The hurricane spared your house and belongings except it blew your teeth right out of your mouth?

Oh, it sure makes us giggle. 

She asked if I saw a lot of that in DC. No, everyone had a good dental plan I guess. Oh once in a while I did. But it wasn't a regular thing. Maybe that's why people don't think I'm from here. Teeth and bras! 

Back to Ro, she got me to have the ability to watch all things in theatres now and all the streaming services even those I don't pay for. I don't know what she did but the hocus pokus video magic she did do is damn awesome. OMG, how cool is she?  So while I must relax and not be running around I guess I will have lots of TV and movies to watch that I don't normally get to see. 

Driving and Hair

I had to let go and deal with Rick driving on the highway on Thursday.

He had a doctor's appointment at the Heart and Vascular Center in Raleigh at the infamous hospital where we spent a year.  

Now I normally go, I have all his medication info, and I ask questions he doesn't ask. We have this down to a well-oiled machine. He talks to the doc, he asks the questions, anything he may have forgotten I ask. There is always one or two of those and he'll say, "Oh yea"  The doctor laughs each time and asks him if that is why he brings me. He said, yes and she's cute and buys me lunch.

This doctor and Rick tease one another and it's nice, it helps calm Rick.

I'm sure the doctor knows that.

Rick told me he was going to drive alone. He's got this. He's a big boy he said. I did laugh at that. I asked about the far walk if he couldn't get a handicap spot. He said I'll be fine you old worry wart.

So off he went. He arrived and texted me, "I'm here, I got the coveted spot you can never get. No long walks. HA HA. I've checked in."

If he hadn't had a stroke while in the car would I still be like this?  

Then I got a text saying, I'm done and on my way home.  I'm not stopping anywhere because I know you are pacing. :-)

He was right. Oh, I tried to keep busy, made chili, mopped the kitchen floor, washed some blankets, and swept up the storm damage on the patio.  Oh, I was trying like hell to be busy with my phone in my bra should I need to get his call for any reason.

So I survived Rick's first big drive on highways. He still can't do 2 days in a row of driving. It does bother him cognitively if that makes sense. That's okay after Friday we have nowhere you need to drive.

Friday morning we went to another doctor's appointment. This time for me.

I think retirement should just be called retirement from your old job to now your job is staying alive and going to the doctor. It's horrible.

I had to receive 2 spinal injections. It's like clockwork, every 3 months. They don't last long enough. Driving home is iffy and I was glad he could do this for me.  But the doctor wanted me to do this again before the spinal stimulator is inserted. Because I have discs with hardly anything in between them it was suggested that I could possibly try to do a fusion. I have heard nothing good from those who have had a fusion so I am really not interested in it. You get to a point of such pain and you eventually will try anything. I understand this oh too well. I hope I can avoid this. 

As I sit here on Saturday I am feeling pretty good. I had intentions of doing all this work outside. Storm shit you know? Rick had a fit. He said he would do it after he worked in the garage.  He claims if I feel good I shouldn't do things. READ YOUR INFO FROM THE DOCTOR!!"  he yells at me.

Give yourself a couple days after the injections he reads out loud after pounding on the paper with his finger as if I didn't see it. Yeah, Yeah. 

I told him I could add kicking and I'd be acting like that stubborn fool I married. That made me snicker at least.

I tell him that to me the whole point of the injection is so I can live my life and do things. He gave me a come to Jesus meeting this a.m. and so I am not doing all the things that need done that cause me to bend. Which is everything. Even laundry. 

Sometimes it's easier to give in but I don't like it. 

He'd rather I lay in his ugly chair and be a total load than do things because this is what he likes to do.  

Rick is trying because when I returned to the bedroom I saw he stripped the bed. Now will he make the bed? Stay tuned. Talk about bending. 

Note, do not bring your husband to the doctor with you the first time you go because the only thing he hears is and actually listens to in his entire life is that you should lay low for a few days after injections. Aargh! 

If the doctor said to cook all her meals, vacuum, rub her feet, etc he wouldn't have heard ANY of that. 

Okay but back to what Rick really did that cracked me up. He took a shower before bed Thursday night. So in the morning, he said, "I'm not showering again but my hair is a mess I'll wear a baseball cap, do you care?"  

"Hell no, you're sitting in the waiting room why would I care? "

So as I walk out the door heading to the garage he yells, I'll be right there.

I see him go back to the coat rack assuming he's getting his cap on the rack.  We head out and as we take our exit I look over at Rick and for the first time see he wasn't wearing a hat.  Oh, he looked funny, going to bed with wet hair, the little he has, was all over the place. I asked if he brought a hat. He looked in the rearview mirror and said OH MY GOD. 

We both laughed and he said I can't go sit even in the waiting room like this. I look like a goof. 

I asked, "What's with the flat top with that Big Boy Mascot flip on the side?".   The sides were sticking straight out to add to the look.  

Rick said,"I can't go in there like this," but we're both still laughing. 

I said, "I dare you! Where is my man who never cares what he wears?"  

"Not gonna do it."

"They won't ask where you're from?"

Well, that really made us howl. Oh, we had the giggles. 

He dropped me off went to the parking garage and sat and waited for me. As I was leaving I got on the elevator and texted that I was on my way outside. He was there in a flash.  

I got in the car and saw his head. I burst out laughing. 

I asked him, "What on earth did you do to your hair"

"Well in the car garbage bag was a water bottle with a little water in it.

 I thought it would help but I think it made it worse."

"Ya think"  I can't stop laughing. We have serious giggles now and pointing and laughing some more as he would gaze at himself in the rearview mirror. 

We're two old fools but having a big ole belly laugh sure makes you feel good. I wish I had thought to take a picture I was too busy laughing in the moment. But boy that could have been good blackmail.

When he could speak he said he thought it could make it look better but can you imagine me going in like this? 

"Oh, that poor man who drags his leg and talks out of one side of his mouth and oh my his hair. It's nice they let him out of the home" 

Now as I type this it isn't so funny but trust me in a parking garage in uncontrollable laughter, seeing that my husband who never cares what he wears was trying to fix it and he did make it worse. He really looked like a mentally challenged person.  But them...

here's a pic of ole Bob Big Boy Mascot if you don't have one where you live.

Flying

I read an article because the headline grabbed me.

It was, "Should We All Be Dressing Up for Flights Again?"

My first thought was this was an older person like myself writing this.

So I went to the bottom of the article where they give you that synopsis of the author.  Oh I was wrong, a young person in their late 20s.  I have to say I was shocked yet happy. But then I hadn't read the article yet.

Over all she and I were on the same page.

I remember when flying was such a luxury and you weren't herding on like cattle. I remember when you got really nice meals, desserts and people showed some class in dress and behavior. Those days are long gone.

I am blaming it on deregulation. The death of the airline industry if you ask me but you didn't. It made the fares cheap, no more government regulating fares, no more waiting for approval for an airline to get a route, etc.  

Fares were as cheap as riding a bus. 

Remember People's Express? Talk about herding cattle.  

So we now have cheap seats and people began dressing like they were on a bus or worse. 

I firmly believe if you dress well, you behave a certain way. It's been proven with school children. If made to dress a certain way they sit differently in their chairs and they do partake in school more. No coming to school in pjs or short shorts. I would have hated it as a kid to wear a uniform but I'm old enough to remember I couldn't even wear pants to school so there is that. 

Over time the dressing well became obsolete in airports and on planes. 

I see many people in pajamas and slippers walking through a concourse. 

I see people in all forms of dress and undress. Dress like that and trust me when I say, you will not be bumped up to first class.

I get it you wish to be comfortable on your flight. You can still do that with your ass covered and no pajamas. I'm not saying a man has to have a jacket and tie on but jeans and a nice shirt would be a nice change.

When I worked in the airline industry I was fortunate to be able to fly for free. BUT we had to dress a certain way. We all bitched and moaned but we did it. We were flying for free. Trust me the wench at the gate would look you over and if you were not up to snuff you didn't board. I only saw that happen once to a woman who was not wearing hose. To me, that's just ridiculous but this was the 80's. Working girl kind of clothes were the standard ensemble. Business clothes or no boarding.

The first time Rick and I went to Montego Bay Jamaica I suggested he wear a jacket and tie, nice pants etc. He asked why. 

I said, I know you paid for your ticket but if you dress that way you can sit in first class with me. You can't be dressed in shorts etc. 

I knew the girls at the tickets counter at ole Eastern Airlines in Cleveland. I went behind the counter and saw there was space available in first for us. I asked the ticket agent, Angel (and she was) if she would put us down for 2 seats in First. She obliged. 

We drank champagne and Rick told me he could get used to this. I laughed and said Oh I know!  When we arrived in Jamaica, we grabbed our bags and went through customs. It was hot as hell. He was in a nice pair of slacks, a nice shirt, tie, and jacket. I was in (get this) nylons, a skirt, a blouse, a blazer and heels. I too, was dying from the heat. As we stood in line he bitched, "That guy is in shorts" "Hey that woman is in a sun dress"

I said, "Yes, and ask them how much they paid?"  I know you paid for your airfare but this all-inclusive 5-star resort is only costing us $35 a day for both of us and all food, drinks, water sports  - EVERYTHING. So suck it up.

After this fabulous week, Rick decided he could dress any way they wanted him to because he loved this. He said as we left, somehow he was going to get back there.

Fast Forward 5 years and when we were thinking of getting married we knew we wanted to 'run away'. So we went back to Jamaica to the same resort and got married there and had another fabulous week.

Only this time we had to pay for it because I got laid off.

Only for a short time, but nonetheless, it was when I was getting married so I had to pay. 

Didn't matter this place is our happy place. 

Nail Polish

It isn't supposed to rain here in this part of North Carolina today.

I feel like I should say, 'for now'

Man, I think the drought is over. 🤞

I've got mushrooms growing out front. It's been crazy.

I prefer rain over 100's and humid but this was a bit much.

Overall we did very well. All around us was horrific damage. 

We got lucky again. If you look at a map of NC, you'll see that the shore and the western part of the state were hit. 

Those of us more or less in the middle of the state just got copious amounts of rain.

Funny how we planned a quick overnight trip to Asheville to see the fall colors. I don't think so now. Man, Asheville has been destroyed.  

I-40 to get there is mostly closed near there and into Tennessee. It's heartbreaking to see all this destruction. No water, no cell service. If lucky enough to have a home you can always boil your water but no connection to the outside world via phone or internet. 

I wondered how Biltmore fared. They haven't shown anything about that except to say it is closed for those who had reservations. The town of Biltmore Village is completely devasted. The Biltmore they are not saying what damage was done. I imagine there was some. 

I saw a man today sitting on a log talking to a TV reporter and he looked so forlorn it made you want to cry. 

He told the reporter that he had "no home, no water, no communication to the outside world, and no roads to get anywhere. It doesn't look like roads have ever been here, no sign of them." 

Then there are the political commercials all day/all night. 4 in a row makes us scream. We watch all things recorded until the election so we can fast forward through the plethora of lies on these commercials.  

Do you know that Joe Biden made the gas prices go up? Yeah, no one else did either. 

Since I was paying $4.xx and now I just paid $2.79 the other day.  Yes, the constant lies.  I prefer the commercials that lie about getting the stain out of my clothes or it will make my teeth whiter. Who knew we'd long for that!!

I had recorded Jimmy Fallon because I wanted to see Teddy Swims.

Now that I found this man I can't stop listening to his music. I normally don't care for new music. I do like this man.

We watched it again this morning over coffee. Rick said, "his look suits him.  Can you see me wearing nail polish now or ever?"  

No, you could not pull that look off Rick!  But like you said it sure works for him and Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. 

Sleep

Sunday, as I walked from the kitchen to the living room, I dropped my glass of gin. First glass so no excuse. I am still determining how I did this.

The glass shattered and went everywhere and of course, my gin followed. 

Oh, I was ticked at myself. 

I swept up the glass, mopped, and vacuumed. 

Couldn't see another thing but I've said that before.

Monday morning I told Rick what I had done while he slept.

But he is walking around barefoot. 

Me: "Should you really go barefoot just in case."

Rick "Sure. How else do you think I can find shards of glass you may have missed?"

Okay, good point I say as I roll my eyes.

It's gonna be that kind of day I see.

And speaking of that kind of day -

Rick just slept 23 hrs.  He awoke at 8am Sunday and sat there staring. I asked if he was okay. That shit scares me now. He says yes, but he can't wake up. He takes his morning meds and says, "I'm gonna lay down for just a little bit more is that okay?"

"Sure we have nothing going on"

Around 1p I decide to eat breakfast so I scramble up some eggs and sausage.

Rick wakes to the smell of food.

He wolfs down a plate and then says I need to lie down, I just can't wake up.

He lays on the sofa and sleeps until 6p. Then he got up and went to bed.

I watched TV, ate popcorn for dinner, and checked on him constantly.

It's not normal for Rick to sleep like this.  I went to the bedroom around 9p and looked at him. He was asleep and he rolled over and I was there and it startled him as it did me.

He asked if it was time to get up. I said it's 9pm, do you want to get up?  

He said no and before I left the room he was out like a light again.

I kept asking him if he felt okay while he was awake that 45 minutes to an hour. 

I was annoying the shit out of him. 

But since the stroke, I have become a big ole worry wart. 

Stroke fatigue is one thing but this was different.

I finally went to sleep at 3am. I awoke at 8am Monday.  

I started my coffee and went to see how Rick was fairing. He was sleeping and I woke him and said, "It's 8am, you've been in bed for almost a complete day. You planning on getting up today?"

He sat up and said, "What time is it?  OMG, I lost all of Sunday. "

I told him he was correct but I wanted to know how he felt.

He said he felt fine like he finally got sleep. I'll say!

He had a quick bowl of cereal, took his meds, and off to the gym he went.

Because it was still raining the gym was quiet and he was home sooner than normal.

As I am typing this I am wondering if he is napping which he does a lot after the gym.  

Overall he is doing fine today. No issues and he says he feels good.

But since he is seeing his doctor Thursday I think I will bring this up.

I want to sleep now for 23 hrs. I'm a little bit jealous.

Good News

Finally, some good news to share.

As I mentioned I have canceled my shoulder replacement surgery. I am not having the same kind of pain. Roll your eyes back kind of pain. I discussed with the doctor and he and I thought perhaps the injection finally kicked in. Whew. 

Oh sure, there is pain. Lifting anything. I know what I can and can't do so I don't do what I can't do. So I told him I wanted to postpone and if it got to where it was then I'd do the surgery. He was okay with that.  Whew

As I told Rick I have 2 major issues and my back is far more important. I have another arm. I know, I know it's not funny but seriously this back makes everything difficult. Sitting, standing, bending, walking, laying flat, breathing, you know everything. 

Yesterday I brought Rick with me to see the neurosurgeon for my back. 

Rick asks me a lot of questions after I get home and I thought this way he could hear the plans and he could give me input. I also understand it all when the doc is telling me but then when I get home I don't explain it as well. So I just asked if he wanted to come with me like I've done for him the past year. He said, "yeah, I owe ya"  So off we went.

A mistake made by me. He was a pain in the ass when the doctor asked about my pain. When I said one thing, he said, "She's lying"  

Then he went into why he was saying that. Ah geez. The doctor then looks at me and I said, "Well yes"  Damn Rick.  I bitch and moan on my blog but honestly, I don't walk around and say this shit to people. Not even my family. No one wants to hear an old lady talk about her aches and pains. But ole Rick filled him in. I wanted him there to help me but instead, he was my tattle tale.

We went over options. Surgery is not an option for me. My back is a mess and it will just get worse as I age. Fun fact.

So he suggested I have one more injection and then do a spine stimulator.

Think of a pacemaker. Same thing only by my spine to put electrical shocks to my nerves to stop the pain. 40 years ago I had what was called a tens unit. It looked like a pager you wore on the waist of your pants. Electrodes went to the unit and they attached to my body. I wore that sucker for 1 year. And then never needed it again until now. 

I mentioned this apparatus to my doctor and he said, "We don't use them much anymore in fact you don't need a prescription you can just get them on Amazon."

I said, "Really? Oh God I am dating myself"

The young whipper snapper laughed and said, "Yes, you are. We believe that this is far better. It doesn't have to go through layers of skin and you get a better connection so to speak."

After all my questions and Rick's, I was excited by this prospect.

1. I may get relief.

2. It may give me a few more upright and pain-free years.

I am having that injection. Then they give you a stimulator on the outside of your body for a trial run. They insert the electrodes but the actual unit is outside your body. If this does work for me then they will insert it.  

I suppose they don't wish to go through the process of inserting it surgically into me and have it not work and then have to be removed.  I so hope this works!

I look at this like Rick's pacemaker. Just under the skin. You can't really see it.

I told him if I get this - neither of us will be able to go through the metal detectors at the airport. 

To me, this is great news. I know, I know to others this isn't good.

But relief of pain. Pain is mentally as well as physically exhausting.

I knew I could not have another surgery, it wouldn't do me any good. So my future felt hopeless and this gives me hope. This option and happy pills and in another month or so I should be flying.

They have to wait a bit after my injection. I just know I want it done before the end of the year so I don't have to pay another deductible. I'm broke as well as falling apart. Not a great combo but it could be worse.

Ring

 Yesterday while talking about the Ugly Naked Guy a few suggested it was Alzheimers. Oh, that would make this all livable. But he is just a very large hillbilly and he may wear shorts but we can't see them over his belly in front or on the sides, so it always looks like he's naked. 

But to the point of Alzheimer's. We have a ring camera. And if you have a ring you know you get notifications or alerts of things happening in your neighborhood. Someone posted Tuesday morning a ring video she captured at 1:33AM on Tuesday morning. 

It was an old woman wearing only a T-shirt. I couldn't tell if she was wearing underpants or not. But no bra. Her hair was disheveled and she was looking around the porch like she was missing something. Not at all like someone going to steal. My first thought was this woman has dementia or Alzheimer's and is lost. She certainly looked confused. This was not a person who was checking out the house to hurt or steal.

When we lived in No.VA we had a woman who took in her mom as she was aging. Her mom was at the beginning of Alzheimer's. But she rapidly declined. She would leave the houses in all states of dress and undress and walk around the neighborhood.  

One morning as Rick was walking Izzy he saw her in her nightgown.

She came walking down the street as if this was normal. Rick said, "Hello how are you today?"  She stopped to talk with him. 

At this point, he asked if he could walk with her. She said that would be lovely.  So he turned her around and they headed back to her house. When I asked how he got her to turn around he told her he likes to go this way is that okay?  She happily agreed.

When they got to her house he rang the bell and her daughter answered. She had just called the sheriff so she was thrilled to find her mother safe and sound. 

The first thing the woman said when they arrived at Lori's house was, "This is my daughter's house do you know her?"  So Rick had this full conversation with her as if this was all new to him too. It was nice. He went inside because she insisted he have some tea.  He didn't and she sat on the sofa and fell asleep.  

Soon after this event she was doing this too frequently so at bedtime Lori would have to lock her mom in her bedroom. But then one night Lori awoke to her mother beating on the door of her bedroom screaming, HELP ME THEY LOCKED ME UP, HELP ME.

When I went to Lori's her mother told me, "They lock me up here, don't stay too long or they will lock you up too."  I told her I wasn't going to stay that long.

Shortly after this event, it went straight downhill and Lori had to find a nice 

Alzheimer facility. It broke Lori's heart but I think she knew it was for the best for them both.  

Sadly just a few years later Alzheimers hit Lori. "They" say you are more likely to get this from a mother than a father so that was the first time I saw this in person.

So the big fat dude who may or may not wear clothes doesn't have Alzheimer's. He is just gross. 😂

Meme

My sister sent me this and it made me laugh out loud.

I always wanted to be adopted. 

I was the 🎵 "One of these things is not like the other"  

I knew this from a young age. I so wanted to know I was adopted and that would make sense of it.  HA.  No sense to it.  It just is. 

Rick is adopted and finds this meme funny.

And like me, he always felt like the odd man out but at least he had a real reason, he was legitimately adopted. 

Finding this funny, Rick sent it to his two sisters and one got very annoyed and pissed off. He told her it was a joke. But pissy people choose to be pissy I swear. (yes, the one that came here when he had his stroke)   

How can you read this and not laugh?

Oh well. He apologized several times and she is still pissy.

I can't control others feelings and frankly, I am tired of walking on eggshells and apologizing. That is my new outlook. I can't be a people pleaser. I can't make everyone happy. I do not do things to deliberately hurt anyone. If you are hurt and can't accept my sincere apology, what else is there for me to do?  Old Peg would fret over it. Apologize in all kinds of ways. Lose sleep etc.

Now, I am letting it go and venting on my blog. :-)  My therapy. 

We think know she is miserable. From her behavior to the things she says.

Although what we hear her say on Monday will be polar opposite on Wednesday.

That is fun. 

Sometimes people like it in their misery, it's comfortable for them.

I don't like misery. I don't wish to live there. 

To quote Taylor Swift, shake it off. (the only song I know of hers)

So if you don't see the funny in this I can't help you.

In other events - 

In the meantime, I am watching a lot of new TV shows and baseball.

Only 6 more regular season games left. The next 3 games which I REALLY wish to watch and I am blacked out.

I don't understand why I am blacked out from all things in Baltimore.

Not like it's close. I get why I am blacked out of Atlanta games but Baltimore?

Geez. Tonight's game is on MAX so I hope they don't follow that rule because I can't watch it on TBS. These next 3 games are a big deal. I don't know if we can win the series, highly unlikely. I just hope we don't lose the entire series, highly likely. It's gonna be a nail biter for me IF I can see a game.

Bluzdude, you'll have to keep me posted even if you are rooting for Baltimore. :-)

If you recall I have a neighbor like they do on the show Friends, Ugly Naked Guy.

Well, our UNG has been living at the shore. So I have not seen him in a long time. He has a lawn service and they wave to me when they are here. Unlike him, they are clothed.  Normally he returns in Sept. Maybe this year, October.

We were hoping he'd just move to the shore. He works from home so why not?

Then maybe we could get new neighbors who wear their clothes outside and are normal. That may be too much to ask for.

We were sitting on our patio the other evening chatting and Rick said, "Well if we get new neighbors maybe this time the female will be the naked person."

I laughed and said, "In your dreams"

He said, "Would that bother you?"

I told him it would not, I would always know where you were. 

In the garage pretending you're working on your lathe but staring directly into their yard. Or maybe you'd finally clear that patch I've asked you to clear next to our two fences. You'd get a good close up view then.

He laughed and said, "Hmm....you know me so well"

Yep, and I still like you, go figure!

FriYaY!

Hi Kids.

It is a sunny 90-degree day. The monsoons are over. Oh, it was fun while it lasted. 

Since this local nutjob is now all over the National News now I thought I'd show you a couple of his horrendous commercials Rick and I find appalling that run constantly day and night.

1. Keep your skirt down (this makes me want to sucker punch him)

2. Apparently she didn't keep her skirt down. This commercial was shown after the one above made him all kinds of grief here in Raleigh/North Carolina. So which video is a lie? Guess he thought the double talk would smooth things out. It did not.

3. Some people just should be killed (says it a little more than 1/2 way through)

Oh, there are so many more.

There are his comments about him calling himself a Black Nazi. 

He said he thinks there should be slaves.  This guy is certifiable. 

Guess who I am NOT voting for?

Happy Friday.

Enjoy your weekend.

And The Beat Goes On

It's pouring rain here. It's been a downpour for the last 24 hrs.

I love this kind of weather.  

It's dark and overcast.  It's dark in my house and I've got all the lights on.

Fall is getting closer I can just feel it.  YIPEE

While I never get to see awesome colors here and boy I miss it. I do get a fall, it's just different. My favorite season is the season with no mosquitos.

My trick on our patio worked this season. I will plant all that stuff again next year. Oh sure I got bit. But instead of 100x, it was only 15x. 😉

As is the case in my life I was in some pain and couldn't sleep.

So I did what I always do.  Watch mindless television until I get tired.

I found the Emmys in the prime time folder and watched it. 

Well, you can't say I watched it, I FF through most of it.  I like to see the so-called "fashion"  and it was eeh. God, I'm getting old. I did think Selena Gomez looked fabulous.

Speaking of fashion. 

The other evening while watching some young thing "sing" on a stage Rick began to chuckle.  I asked what was so funny

He said, "Can you imagine in the 70s Joni Mitchel, Grace Slick, Janis Joplin, or Linda Rhonstat prancing on stage in their underwear so people would pay attention to them?  It's crazy to me.  I don't get it, can you explain?"

"Oh hell no, I don't get it. I'm as old as you. At least Adele doesn't work in her underwear. I wonder if they do it because they honestly can't sing without autotune and so they prance around in their thong panties and bra."

He then said, "Hey picture it - Rosemary Clooney in her underwear and Frank Sinatra grabbing his junk as the boys do now."

Okay, now I am laughing. That's a picture I can't get outta my head. Thanks, Rick. 

He is always good for a laugh.

My new favorite Meme

 Ok, I'm depressed but I'm still snarky.

This is hysterical to me. 

If you didn't watch the show Alf, then this makes no sense. 

But if you did...

Hey, It's Friday!

I appear to be winding down here, don't I? Not exactly.

Add in a dash of funk and boy it's a mess over here.

A year or so ago I wrote here about watching a movie called Inventing Anna.  It was a very interesting movie and sadly true. I was so taken with the show I stayed up very late (or early) to binge.

This woman Anna Delvey (aka Sorkin) is Trump in a skirt. A narcissist, a con artist, a liar, a manipulator, and just plain sleazy.  If you haven't watched this on Netflix you really should! 

While it's amazing she got away with this, she did. She was so good at manipulation and lying. She had that skill down!

She's been in prison for some time and is now out with an ankle bracelet while waiting to be deported. And like trumpy she falls into shit and comes out smelling like a rose. A stinky rose. 

She is now on Dancing With the Stars. She is a star? 

She screwed over so many people, stole money, and did so much damage and she is a star? Why is ABC giving her this platform?

What other criminal gets a special exception to fly to LA to get paid to be on a show? This makes me sick. If she were black she would NEVER get this opportunity. But she's blonde in a short skirt.

I do not watch DWTS and after this BS I wouldn't ever again.  

I think on this show the audience votes, I'm not sure, so hopefully, they won't get her past week one.

Now to me, because like Anna, it's going to be all about me for a moment.

Timeline of my mess.

Oct 2021 moved to Raleigh

Feb 2022 Our dog died. Crushed us.

March 2022 mass found on my eye

Chemo/High doses of steroids for 6 months.

Nothing getting accomplished in my new home and I would lay there wishing I could lift my head because I could see what needed done and I just couldn't.

Sept. Thinking I was out of the woods. Still having stomach pain which I was told was from the chemo meds and it will pass. 

Dec. It wasn't passing and I was vomiting and not well but I am determined to plug away.

Jan - March - begin to unpack more things that were put into a bedroom and get this house together. Rick builds us a deck/patio

Tummy pain off the charts. But I plug away since they said this too shall pass.

April - broke down and saw a GI specialist. I had a fistula and my diverticulitis has made my lower colon a hot mess so they suggested they removal of my sigmoid colon. Oh fun. But no more pain I had to remember.

May - Rick has a stroke. I postpone my surgery I am a minor thing in comparison and I can get through this.

Rick is in the hospital for 4 months.

I can't postpone my surgery any longer.

Rick just got home and I have to go in for surgery. Good people from my hometown came (ANGELS) and helped out while I was in the hospital.

I come home and push, push, push.

Drive Rick to drs offices, and therapies daily, feed him, give him meds, help him in every aspect because I love and adore the big galoot.

Then my back reared its ugly head with a ruptured disc, stenosis, and degenerative arthritis but that's all. :-)

I get injections and push, push, push.

My shoulder is off the charts pain and they want surgery.

But suddenly it feels the best it's felt in a year so I postpone surgery and fall into a puddle.

I think I've been pushing so hard and going so fast this past 2 years and it caught up to me. What else can it be?

I think I need to take care of myself mentally and physically right now. 

I just need some time. I just collapsed one day and cried and haven't been able to get out of this depression.

It's not me. It's not who I am. I move forward. But apparently, I hit a wall.

So I haven't been around because I am not a fun person right now.

Or as Rick told me yesterday, he misses me. He did something and he looked at me and said, "No smart-ass remark? That's not like you?"

That did make me laugh because I said it in my head but for some reason, I didn't say it out loud. That's another sign, I'm quieter. HA. 

So hang in there. I will write when I can. I am sorry.

Besides I have a list of things that Rick has done and/or said to make me laugh and cheer me up. I put them in my phone so when I can sit here and write to y'all I will.

Living in a new area and having no friends here doesn't help. I miss my friends and yes I can call them all over the US but I won't do that. I will never call them to vent and complain to them. If they were here, different story, know what I mean? Don't know why but it is.

So enjoy your weekend. I am going to try, Temps down in the low 80s and with low humidity. Perfect days and nights. It may help who knows.

I may not be writing as often but I'll be here. Hang in there with me.