It's 2:04am.
I can't sleep. Rick's sister was on her phone ( its attached to her hip) and watching TV. I sat on the sofa and I was out!! I slept from 930p ish to 1145p. Now I can't go back to sleep. Boy my mind races and goes to places it shouldn't.
Your comments have made me cry. Big time. All of you are so kind and give great advice.
I can't even put into words how much the comments have meant to me. I had a bad bad day, or I should say Rick did. Then I read your comments when I got home and they warmed my heart ❤️ Thank you!!
I feel so alone here.
HIS sister is here but I feel like I have to entertain. Make meals I don't want to eat etc.
She means well, I know. (This is the family he just met several years ago becuz he was adopted)
I want to postpone my surgery. I'm getting all kinds of shit from everyone. I'm not canceling, just hoping to postpone.
I have a call scheduled with my Dr to discuss Monday.
Everyone tells me to take care of me. Well I am. I know I can't go to the hospital right now. I'm asking for 2-3 weeks.
Then he will be less drugged due to gout pain. He will remember I'm in the hospital for 3- 4 days. He'll also be out of icu by then. Why can't everyone get that?
Peg, they say, you must take care of yourself. Ok, when I am selfish and care for me, I hear it from EVERYONE that I'm wrong, they know what's best and I must have my surgery Thursday. They don't care that I won't heal as well being filled with anxiety, stress etc.
I don't get it!!
Boy the fact that y'all are still reading me with all the depressing shit and me whining is another thing I want to say thank you for. Sincerely. 🫠
I'll leave you on a lighter note. Ricks best buddy from Cleveland showed up today. They were coming to town this weekend for the divisional championship lacrosse game. We had a great weekend planned and we so thrilled to see friends. Instead of those plans we made, they came to the hospital.
I reminded Rick that they were coming today (sat) and I asked him one more time if he wanted them to come. He was thrilled. Jared walked in and Rick got his new lopsided grin, patted his heart and then pointed to Jared and Megan, as if to say, I love you but then gave Jared the finger. We all laughed and Rick laughed and about chocked which brought the nurses running in.
It was wonderful to see them. They understood him most times. Sometimes none of us can. All in all it was a great visit!
I left for a bit to go to the cafeteria. When I came back Rick was awake. He told me he so loved seeing them. It did him a world of good if you ask me.
12 comments:
Expletives deleted!! I am catching up with the blog world and find out all this. My heart hurts for you guys.
And taking care of yourself means trusting that YOU know what is best for YOU!
Vent here as often as needed! That's the beauty of having a space like this and having so many voices with so many different experiences than your personal circle of friends may have and you can take or leave the advice.
I know when I'm knee-deep in an overwhelming situation, it really helps me to find out how others have solved similar problems and how they made it through their darkness. There's not a one-size-fits-all answer so go with your gut and don't second guess any choices you make. Wishing you the best as you continue to navigate such rough waters. Continuing to send healing, hope and positivity.
Peg, you have many friends and o does Rick. After my stroke, I cried a great deal. I guess you lose the control of crying. It's normal. My wife never explained how she felt during my stroke but I know she suffered a great deal having a 2 year old and being pregnant. I knew how strong Mary Lou and Rick will know how strong you will be and are strong you are right now. Friends are very important for Rick and this time. Some of my so called friends left me and that hurt but others were there every day and thank God they were there. Peg, you will feel weak at times but in reality your strength is will Rick. You'll learn that you'll find a strength that you thought you never knew. Guess what Peg? You;ll never lose me now. LOL
Cruisin Paul
You're making me cry gah! That is so great his friends came to see him.
Is your surgery in patient or out patient? Maybe one of your sisters can come help you? Big hugs. I'm up later and on the west coast if you ever want to text or call just to chat.
You do you. Personally, I don't think 2 to 3 weeks postponement is so much to ask, and your reasoning makes good sense.
And no thanks necessary for my (and others, I'm sure) continuing to check in on your blog. I'm just so glad you're keeping it updated and venting as needed!
I don't know how much pain you're still in but putting off wrist surgery (am I remembering right?) is easier than a lot of other surgeries you could be having. You could ask your doctor to just remove your right hand and reattach it later when you have more time. 😁
Julie thx! But I come home from hospital so exhausted and I collapse for awhile. His sister is STILL here so there's that. 😁
Olivia I'm trying.
Olga, thx. ((Hugs))
Bobi, thx
Paul, ah shit, I'm stuck with ya! Lol
Abby, thx but I'm afraid to really vent.
Abby, becuz she is searching for my blog. I set settings so you can't find me from search engines hoping that slips her down. I may also stop anonymous I need to find time to research this
You're getting good advice and support here your blog so don't be afraid to vent your true feelings---the ups, the downs and everything in between. I probably wouldn't have survived Don's massive stroke and aftermath if it wasn't for the blog community. One of the best pieces of advice up above is quit feeling like you need to entertain your sister-in-law. When I was in your situation my sister-in-law brought me lunches to the hospital, walked my dog, even offered to do my laundry and run errands. Your sister in-law isn't a house guess right now.
I don't know what kind of surgery you're having which makes a difference..if it's eye, listen to your doctor after you explain the situation. Wrist...3 weeks isn't too much to ask. When Don had his stroke I was already scheduled for a knee replacement and put it off 3 years (which I wouldn't advise) but I understand fully why you feel waiting is better for both of you.
Jean, tell my SIL. I need to have 2 vegetables with my protein. Then she sirs. Last nite I was so exhausted I told her to help herself. I wasn't hungry just exhausted. She starved and I heard about it today. Guys I am not entertaining cuz I want to!!
From my limited experience, I think seeing dear friends or family is a mood lifter for the family but more than 5 can be too much until he's running laps around the corridor.
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