Halloween Hangover

My husband is not dealing well with things that I find very funny. 

But after 35 years learning something new about him is nice even if annoying.

Now to give you a bit of knowledge about this guy I have to tell you about his issue with being on time. Oh my goodness he behaves like his heart will stop or his loved ones will most certainly die tragically or the earth could actually swollow him whole right there if late, in which case would be his choice.
He can not deal with being late. He will pace. He will get all anxious and twitch and move his fingers in ways I have never seen him do before. All because he may be late. Oh, he has full-blown anxiety about being late.

One day I asked him if it makes him feel antsy. Oh my goodness I got the rundown of how it makes his "innards" feel to quote him. I listened and said, "babe that is full-blown anxiety" No, no, I don't have anxiety, I just don't like to be late. I reminded him of one of the things he does that he hasn't mentioned and that was he becomes cranky if he sees he may be late. 

He laughs and said, that is true.

Now mind you he is never late. He will never be late. But the possibility makes him crazy. He had an appointment at 1pm. He was leaving the house at noon. I said, "it's 15 minutes MAX away"  

"Well, I've not been there so maybe it will be more. I don't want to be late." I grabbed his hands and asked him to come to sit with me. He is laughing, he knows what I'm doing. He does not need to leave here at noon. He keeps trying to see the time without me seeing him and he is so damn entertaining that he thinks I don't see him. At 12:30p I said, "hey why don't you leave now this way you'll only be 15 minutes early"  

He was up and out of that chair so fast, yelling behind, Love you see you later. I just shake my head. 

Then he did this again - but it was on Halloween.

Now we used to get over 100 kids a year at our old place. Last year we went to the neighbor's Halloween party (worst ever!) so if anyone stopped by we didn't know.

This year Rick insisted we buy candy. 

The closer it got the more he went on about it. 

I said, "we don't get any kids Rick what is the point?"

Oh, that made him anxious. Gotta have candy just in case he keeps repeating. Even though neighbors have told him we don't get kids 'up this way' as they say.

What if a kid comes by are we going to pretend we aren't home? That is horrible. You really didn't buy any candy? 

No. We.don't.get.any.kids.here! 

How about we just buy the small (gasp) bars that normal people give out.

Fine, I give in.

So Rick bought his bags of "fun" size bars which are not fun for anyone. 

I did not turn on the outside light fasts enough for him, he seemed to think I wasn't going to for some reason and he wanted it on now!

He said, "it's getting dark we want to have them see the walk up to our house"

He is walking back and forth for who knows why.

"The walk up to our house will make them all stay away you know. If I were a kid and had to walk up this drive and walkway I'd sure not want some tiny bag of skittles. Besides no one will be coming, Richard!"

Well just in case.

Yep just in case.

He is now on the porch with his bowl of candy sitting on the sofa. I stay inside. He is waiting. He waited for 2 hours. No kids. House lit up, candy all ready and an anxious man all waiting for them to show up.

At 8:30p I went to the door and asked if he was coming in. Leave the light on if it makes you feel better. He did.

So now we add not having Halloween candy and being on time on the same anxious list. Everything else in the world could be falling apart, but if the apocalypse is on time then Rick will be very calm & blissful. But if it's late, he will be very anxious.