Here is the picture.
I was walking Izzy on my lunch break on Wednesday.
A woman and her dog were walking towards us.
She said hello and asked if my dog was friendly.
Yes, I replied.
Then the 2 dogs sniffed each other out and Izzy wanted nothing more to do with her. Izzy was smart.
The woman asked if I lived nearby and I just replied yes.
She asked if I had children. I thought that was odd but I answered and said, "No, Just Izzy here" I put Izzy's leash back on so we could move on.
She then looked me up and down and said, "Oh, you are one of those"
I was so tempted to tell her to fuck off but instead, I just said, "Well I have to go back to the office, c'mon Izzy" and turned and walked away.
She neither deserved my response or my energy. Telling her what I thought of that questions would have gone right over the stupid woman's head. Can't match wits with those unarmed I say.
Now, I ask you, who the hell does that? How did she know she didn't hurt me and that having children was something I always wanted but couldn't have? While that is not the case, none the less she does not know this. This is far worse than asking a fat lady when she's due!
A friend I shared (text) this with immediately told me that I should have told her I have had many many pregnancies but they all ended up in abortions. That would have made her head explode. That did make me laugh. I just didn't feel I should have to explain my choices to this stranger.
Why do people say and do these things? Crazy right?
15 comments:
Never having had children I can identify with this. People make assumptions they have no right to make. Although I couldn't have kids through no fault of my own, I've quickly learned and never dared to get into a public discussion of Pro-Choice (which I am) because right away Pro-Life people just assume I've had abortions to stay childless. Childless people are the devils in their eyes, no gray area. I'd be so shocked at the woman I wouldn't have a good come back either, but I'd probably take the opposite approach than your friend. I'd try to make her feel small for assuming what she did and give her a sob story about all the pregnancies I lost to Mother Nature. She'll probably see her again. Good luck!
Jean has a soft heart. The woman on the other hand is a nasty troll. It breaks my heart that she hurt you.
First of all, when walking my dog and people ask if he is friendly or if they can pet him, I tell them no, he is vicious and will bite their hand off.
Next, when asked if I had children, I would have said "Yes, I find them very delicious, do you have children?"
If she still made the nasty statement, I would have turned to Rex and asked him is he was hungry for some nasty bones!
The I would have told her to be very, very careful getting home.
But that's just me!
Jean and Toni - you both are terrific. Once when I lived in Seattle a woman asked me all these intrusive questions my first day of meeting her on my new job. (I bet you regret your first marriage? No actually.) The children thing was pretty much the same only her tone wasn't as nasty. I did lie and I said I couldn't have children. At this point after the marriage question and now this I was fed up. Her face turned red and she apologized. But honestly,I felt guilty as hell for lying to her then. It made me feel bad that I made her feel badly you know?
Later that day another person who heard this asked if I was okay. Of course, I didn't wish to tell her I lied. That only made me feel more remorse for saying that. So now I just let it go. Stupid people are stupid people. I should have just done as Toni said, "Sic 'em Izzy"
Peg and Toni ---- LOL
Do these people seek you out?
Mike - it's that neon sign above my head.
Wow I don't have children and am now a widow. I have never been asked this and I know a fair amount of couples who do not have children.
I truly never wanted children as I do not have the temperament for it. But I love pets and have had many.
I have noticed a meanness in people today that wasn't there 10 years ago and it has been unleashed in today's political climate.
As I read your posts, you lead such an interesting life, and makes me realize more and more that I would totally hang out with you.(lol) I've never had this happen to me, but some people have no idea that they are asking intrusive or rude questions, but it seems to be the norm these days. Having or not having children is a personal matter, and people shouldn't make assumptions. What happened to me in the past is that people would want me to babysit babies or infants, and if you ever go back and look at my blog on being a grandparent you'll see that I'm not a fan of tiny babies until they're at least 8 or 9. By that time, they can go to bathroom alone, eat regular food, carry on a conversation and watch the Food Network with me.(lol) Initially when people realized that about me, they were pretty much horrified.(lol) But no one is lined up around the block these days asking me to babysit either. Hugs and Happy Friday! RO
There have always been rude people, but lately they seem to be coming out of the woodwork in droves. You are absolutely right, no response is the only effective response.
Mary, I'm in your boat. Never wished to have children. But I think a lot had to do with raising my own sister after my mom died. Maybe.
Ro I would always say I would like to feel the baby inside,but not push it out and once out I don't want to deal until it is at least 2 and everyone laughs. But sort of true. I am a great aunt and love others babies, just didn't want one of my own. I may have to post a throwback Thursday so you can read why. :-)
And backatcha - when I go west I am looking up all my California and western blogger friends! Wine and blogger friends sounds great to me. ...or margaritas. :-)
I would have said the f word, who is she to judge you?
Alessandra - Oh that is exactly what was playing in my mind - exactly!! :-) I just didn't say it out loud.
My daughter is 45 and had a hysterectomy in her mid-twenties. She really wanted kids but she was pre-cancerous and had no choice. This made me wonder how many times she might have been asked this and how much this would have hurt her.
Barbara, I hope she hasn't but it's doubtful.
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