I watch people do the same thing over and over again getting the same results and then crying that nothing works. You want to help them but they really don't want the help.
I have watched people say this and that shouldn't happen to them but to the rest of us we see clearly how this is happening to them and why.
I also know this group doesn't want to be told to consider something different because it only makes them angry at you, not themselves. I've seen that first hand. So you best keep your mouth shut. You can't love them or like them enough, they have to figure it out themselves.
I have seen this in all of my professional life and my personal life.
Now here I am looking at the quagmire we are in and ask, what could we have done differently? How can we make lemonade out of these lemons?
I have asked and discussed with others and all the suggestions and options we have done and tried. I want to try something different, it may even be scary but opportunity lies in difficulty and if you can work through it you will normally come out on the right side. I am not afraid of the hard work. Most people don't want the difficult, they want the easy way. Who doesn't? But it just isn't how it works. I can work through the difficult if it is something we haven't tired you know?
I am not a person who repeats a mistake. I remember going to counseling alone after my divorce when I was 27. I learned a lot. It was one of the most helpful things I ever did for myself. You can't have pride and worry about what others think. You start from zero and build up again. I did the work. I cried a lot. I was miserable a great deal. But it worked as I did the work.
I also had a lot of time to be alone to reflect. To see how I wanted to do things differently. I worked on me alone. I was not in a relationship for a good amount of time. I remember wishing I were but so damn glad now that I had that time or I would have never gotten to where I needed to be. Divine intervention perhaps? I devoted my time to me, my friends and my family. The counselor was right, it worked. I came out the other side, went back to school, got the job of my dreams and was more successful than I ever thought I could be.
I know this much about right now - this too shall pass in time.
I am just impatient. Or should I say 'in-patient'...because that how it feels most days. As the song goes, the sun will come out tomorrow. 😏
5 comments:
I'd like to know the back story behind what made you write this but I have a feeling it will remain a mystery. In general, a great many people do seem to get in their own way, don't they.
Oh Jean, no mystery, just life and how it's gone.
As women, we nurture, and often keep making the same mistakes because we believe that something in us will cause another person to change. As you mention, WE are the ones who need to make the change. If we get there through counseling, reading books,or with epiphanies, we have sometimes heal ourselves, then spend a life of providing service to others. It took me a while to "get it", but I love the experience of doing and trying new things. Kudos to you for getting your life back. Such a great post! Hugs...RO
I believe we all should be getting wiser as we age or what's the point. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening in far too many cases. It makes me sad. I am a patient person, but often sad for others.
Yes I know that person. I can't say anything without a reaction so I just try to stay neutral but wtf just try harder and stop making excuses and maybe something good will happen.
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