All through high school, I took classes to help me get into college.
School was easy for me and I have to admit that if I had really put work into my school work I would have excelled. But I was more concerned with the social life of high school. I loved school. I did well without much studying except in math. Algebra and calculus were horrific for me and math continues to be the royal pain in the ass it always was for me.
In my high school when you had your credits you could graduate as long as you were 16. You had to have a certain amount of credits in each category like math, sciences etc. I had the credits but why leave? I loved the social aspect of school and I sure didn't think it would be fun to leave school so early. Another year of cheerleading and socializing sounded like fun to me. So I stayed and enjoyed my senior year without the stress that others had to complete the right classes.
My year was full of fun classes in things I enjoyed. No more math, I had the requirements for college and I knew what college I was going to so I was just enjoying it all. But something changed and I decided I would take a year off before college. My father didn't even balk at this because as I have shared he was old school who thought girls/women did not really need college for anything more than finding a husband. I now had a new mom in my life and she was so overwhelmed with new babies and this new family she never said a thing about it. (if my mom had been alive there would have been no way I would have gotten away with that route of skipping college!!)
Instead, I got a job after graduation at a local bank. I lived at home until I was 18 1/2. I remember thinking that this midnight curfew was a royal pain and the only way I would ever be able to stay out later was to move out. So I saved my money like crazy.
I moved into a horrible little apartment who's floors in the kitchen were slanted.
We lived on the top floor and a young a married couple lived below us.
It was small, it was slanted and it had shag carpeting and paneling. 1970's in full force.
Our floors were not slanted slightly either.
They were noticeably leaning towards the back of the house.
At one point my boyfriend made a makeshift hockey goalie net at the end of the kitchen wall where everything rolled to. It was definitely a conversation starter.
For some reason it never bothered us, we found it humorous. It was a very tiny place. You had to walk up a slew of steps to get to our apartment door. Because of this we always knew someone was coming. I remember sitting in my bean bag chair listening to Bruce Springsteen sing Born To Run with wired headphones while my roommate rolled joints. Ah, to be young again.
My roommate decided to move on when our lease was up and go to college. I got a new apartment in a brand new shiny apartment complex. No slanted floors. We were the first people to live in this apartment. My best friend, Susan, since 6th grade, was now available to move in with me and we were so excited to be living together. We were 19 when we moved in. It was 1975.
We lived on the bottom floor because it was cheaper. Our windows were level with the ground outside. These windows in our living room came in handy a great many times. When we grocery shopped we put our bags in front of the window. Then we went inside the building and down the stairs and opened our window. We would take our bags right to the kitchen. It was far easier than making several trips in and out of the secure key building and down the stairs. We thought it was brilliant. We even shoveled snow from the windows so one, we could see outside, and two, to bring in our grocery bags.
To us this place was huge. We each had a very good size bedroom but we only had 1 bathroom. But we made it work.
We lived across from our local mall so, in all honesty, everything about this place was perfect for us.
Once during a snowstorm, the city was closed down. The interstate to get to my place was closed. So we stayed in and played music, smoked pot and painted a paint by numbers painting of dogs that she got from her mom for Christmas.
Apparently, the hall now reeked of our pot smoke.
The landlord was called unbeknownst to us.
Next thing we know there is a knock on our door. Oh oh.
We began the crazy run around the house spraying things that didn't help the smell one bit.
The young man who was our landlord came in and sat down. We knew.
Oh God did we know and we thought for certain we were going to be kicked out.
Instead, the man said to us, "Ladies, you can smell the pot down the hall. Since everyone comes down to this floor to go to the laundry room I have had several complaints. If you wish to do this please go to your bedrooms in the back or put something under your door or both. We can't have this smell lingering in the hall. Do you understand?" We said we did, we apologized and he left.
Whew. We thought for sure we were going to be kicked out and then what would we tell our parents? We got very lucky!
Susan and I lived together for a long time. Her parents owned a pizza shop and once a week they would give us a couple of uncooked but prepared pizzas and a couple of hoagies, subs or whatever you call them in your area (grinders) For two girls who liked to smoke pot and hated to cook this was a pretty sweet deal.
We never had food in our fridge. My boyfriend always brought food and so did Susan's. We were lucky like that.
Susan and I lived together until she got married. She moved to a burb 25 miles away and opened her own hair salon. We were no longer smoking pot and sitting around in bean bag chairs listening to albums loudly. We were growing up.
I too got married to that boyfriend. Susan started having kids. God, I love her kids. But as they got older and her life became so different from mine we did our separate things as one does. We talked on the phone but that was all we did most years. I got a divorce and went back to school, finally getting that degree. Susan owned a thriving hair salon and had 3 great children and moved to a big farmhouse on 70acres in the country.
Our lives couldn't have been more different.
Every time I was back to my hometown we got together. We had such different lives yet when we got together it was like no time had passed. We just picked up where we left off and it just has always been comfortable and perfect. I know that if I ever needed her she would be there for me in a heartbeat. No questions asked.
She said once that if I called from jail, she would be there to bail me out no questions asked. Then she said, "oh wait after we got in the car I'd have a lot of questions who the hell am I kidding?" Ah, that made me laugh. That is Sue! I wouldn't want it any other way.
I did not get to spend a single minute with her when I was home last summer. I was so disappointed as was she. I saw on facebook some photos just posted with her and her hubby cutting a Christmas tree down. Susan had a cane. I called her right away.
She is having toe surgery next week. The cane was not for anything more serious than that. The call lasted well over an hour. We got all caught up and we had some good laughs. It was like no time had passed at all.
When we were about to hang up she thanked me for calling and checking up on her. She said to tell her favorite flirt she said hi. (that, of course, is my husband Rick who flirts with her all the time)
Yesterday I got a card in the mail that made me cry. Thanking me for always being there for 50 years. She went on to say that good friends are hard to come by and how great it is to have me in her life. Yesterday was another not so great day so that was just what the doctor ordered. That was my positive take away for the day!
Good friends are hard to come by. Those that still love you warts and all after 50 years are the best, aren't they? She knew me when my mom was alive. She was there when mom was so sick and I needed a soft place to fall and cry. She knew me through all the highs and lows of my life.
She was the one who convinced me my VW Bug could float as we did not float in this creek and I feared my father would kill me if I lived to tell this story. She asked me if I remembered our trip to try on bikinis at Carlisle's downtown? Oh, I sure did. (We rode the bus because we weren't old enough to drive yet.) I remember my bikini. It was yellow with little flowers all very 1970. She reminded me how we sat at the lunch counter at GC Murphy's and shared a salad because we thought we were so fat. Then left and bought an eclair at a local bakery.
Boy did we laugh about that. We would love to be so fat today we both said in unison.
Do you still have a best friend that time doesn't change?
I hope you do, they are the bomb!
13 comments:
Margaret.....this made me ache just a little. Things have to change and change they do but longtime friends are a gift. They have your memories, they know you intimately (if your lucky) and they love you still. I don't have that but I do have my sisters whom I consider friends.
I am so glad that you have Sue and that she has you.
I still see several friends from high school on a regular basis. I'm having lunch with one today.
And where are those high school cheerleader pictures?!
Linda, I long for girlfriends now. I have a lot of acquaintances but no real girlfriends where I live. I used to travel and move a great deal and that doesn't help one build new friendships. But I find it just gets more difficult when you get older too. Maybe that is why I like the show Grace and Frankie so much. It's me and Sue. On paper you'd think, they couldn't be friends. But it all works. I adore Rick and he always has my back and is my biggest cheerleader but real girlfriends are like diamonds, rare and wonderful.
Mike - you crack me up! I think that is harassment in this new day and age asking for my 17-year-old cheerleading pix. You big perv....oh wait that is what I liked about you.
My best friend since day one of kindergarten and I have the same kind of relationship you and Susan have. She lives across the country but every year when she'd come home to see her folks it was if we'd never been apart. Laughter and sharing memories and just plain silliness were so much fun. Her parents are gone and she no longer comes back to Michigan and I've visited her twice. Like you and Susan our lives could not be more different. She's in the D.C. social life and a gourmet cook, stay at home mom when I was in the work force. I hate to cook and don't throw parties but we shared so much of our childhood together we're like sisters and we keep in touch by email, now, letters before computers. I've often wondered if we lived in the same town all these years if we'd still be friends and I think we would have been because we are both very supportive of each others wants and desires, never tried to change each other.
Jean, I know Sue and I would still be friends if we lived in the same town. However, I often wonder if we met today if we would see each other. Do you know what I mean? I asked her that and she said I would have intimidated her. I laughed and said that is so weird because I don't intimidate you in real life. I am so unintimidating. She said because she was a mom and I was this travelin' career woman. How silly we women can be right? But I too may have looked at the mom and thought what would we have in common. I think there is a lesson there.
Several of my high school friends are still good friends today. This year will be our 50th reunion.
I'm really good budddies with my first boyfriend. We were boyfriend/girlfriend in my freshman year and early sophomore year. Sadly, three of my really, really good friends have passed away.
My best friend in the whole world is Julie. We met about 40 years ago. She is one of the kindest, most loving and supportive woman in the world. She is intelligent, articulate and I love her. She just moved to Portland. We still talk on the phone as often as we can but there is nothing like sitting together by the pool or in out homes, drinking coffee or wine and talking for hours. Damn, I miss her!
Toni, thanks for stopping by. Nothing better than school friends.
I have wonderful female friends -- long time and more recent. I can't imagine life without them.
I agree with your friend's Sue's comment. I would be intimidated if I just met my childhood friend now instead of back then. She's very classy to my mid-west, laid back persona.
So like me and my BFF including bean bags. It is a wonderful thing and a blessing to have female BFF that have shared our lives.
I have Flo whom I've known since we were kids in Kenya. We both now live in Australia - she in Sydney and me in Melbourne but we are still as close as we ever were - btw we are both now in out 60s! We talk every other day by phone and visit as often as possible. We can tell each other ANYTHING and neither of us judges.
I am also very lucky in that I have a few very close girlfriends here in Melbourne that I talk to on the phone and visit regularly. There's nothing like a good girlfriend to pick you up when you need to and to have a laugh and fun with.
Irene, thanks for stopping by! I agree with you there is nothing like a girlfriend to pick you up and to have a good laugh with. I love that you said you and Flo can talk about anything and there is no judgment. I have a good friend just like that and it is the best!
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