Cher

I saw Cher all week on TV because she is plugging her new movie, Burlesque.

I have been a fan of Cher’s since she had crooked teeth and a very different face.

Everyone would say things to her like, "Cher you’re 64 and you look so good."

She talks diet and exercise. It’s a load of crap. She has a whole new face.
Her lips are even different. Sure she may diet and exercise but she has not a single wrinkle or crease on her body. 35 year olds have more wrinkles and creases.

Granted her body looks good but do you think it’s because she never had lipo, her breasts done/lifted etc? If you do I have a bridge in Florida I would love to sell you.

I just wish one time someone would come on and say how fortunate they are to be able to afford to fix up what they don’t like and that is why she looks strange and not 64.
And she seriously looks strange to me now.  Maybe I wouldn't think so if I didn't remember her 1st face.

They showed a clip on one show with she and Sonny while holding Chastity.
She looked so much better then. Seriously. Your thoughts?

Before -

After

Still pretty but now she looks like Octomom.
Am I the only one who sees this?

I still love her. I love her ballsy attitude.  I love her voice.
I just wish she loved herself as much.

Wegmans Happy Dance & Random Tid Bits

• I was at Wegmans last night. I LOVE Wegmans.
It is truly the best grocery store ever. Yes, a love affair with Wegmans a grocery store.
If one comes to your city - do not pass go - RUN there. I have always loved the store but since having to be gluten free it just makes my world so much easier. The company Udi's is the best thing ever. I could kiss these bakers. Their artisan style bread is so awesome. You can have a sandwich without having to toast the bread it's that damn good! The bagels are out of this world good!!! Their pizza shells, their cinnamon rolls. But most of all Wegmans carries all things that I can buy to make my own baked goods like different flours and pasta's and organic gluten free food galore.  Basically it just gives me choices and options which I have not had in a very long time. I did a happy dance down these 2 aisles! Seriously I found myself smiling and thinking people must think I am nuts. This fabulous store even carries gluten free Betty Crocker food items like Bisquick, GF Progresso soups along with cake and brownie mixes. Now I don't need those last few items in my life or for that matter I don’t need the bread or bagels either but it's nice to know they have them. So when everyone else is having Pumpkin pies and other pumpkin sweets that I can't have this Thanksgiving I will make my own goodies. I have a feeling these will be so good others will want some too even though they don't have to. Can you “feel” me smiling as I type this?


• I love TV but there aren't as many shows lately that are must see TV.
I really like The Big C. Terrific show and great acting. Laura Linney and Oliver Platt do effortless looking work. It's poignant, sad, funny and like life a bit messy. If you can get season 1 I would recommend it highly. But the season just ended this week and I'm sad.
I am also in the middle of In Treatment and as usual can't get enough of it.
I used to watch morning TV while running around the kitchen in the morning getting ready for our day. But GMA hired Elizabeth Hasselbeck. She is from Survivor and a twit. Diane Sawyer left. George Stephanopolous isn't tall enough to ride the roller coaster and I find it distracting when he stands next to Robin. He comes up to her nipples for heaven's sake. He's cute as a button and smart as a whip but I just find it distracting to watch them and they always put them side by side. I suggest they sit down but apparently that is not what they do on morning TV anymore. (on Today they not only stand but stand outside - why?) The new GMA program is less news and information these days and more Lindsay Lohen so I no longer watch GMA either.

• In June 2009 I got a 4 month old puppy. What I learned from this is that I have a gene that is mutated. I am a freak. I talk to my dog. Someone actually met Rick last night while he was walking Izzy. She said, “Oh I see your wife walking your dog during the day. She talks to him all the time.” And she chuckles. Oh good Lord now they think I am certifiable. So today when walking I was very conscious of talking to Izzy. Gee, I do it a lot more than I thought. I didn’t say anything after I realized I was talking. But just before we got to our home (about 45 minutes into this quiet walk) Izzy stopped and turned around and walked toward me and just sat, looking up at me. I think she thought I might not be on the other end of that leash because it was so quiet. That was funny to me.

• My husband sees dead people. Well we both have. He and I lived in a haunted house together once. Did I tell you those stories? Hmmmm……should I?
But today he was restoring a big old farm sink for a family who were renovating this old farm house that was built over 100 years ago. The woman told me they were restoring to it’s original splendor right on down to the oil lights in the kitchen. I asked, “you are doing indoor plumbing though aren’t you?” She laughed and said they were indeed having indoor plumbing. I realized listening to her be so excited over her 1800’s stain glass that I am a 21st century gal. I would prefer my recessed lights in the kitchen over oil lamps. Anyway, Rick got to her home today and he felt someone behind him. When he turned around he saw a woman at the bottom of the staircase and then poof she was gone. It only rattled him for a minute as it would to someone, but he’s been there before so as he walked into the kitchen he asked the woman, “Do you have ghosts?”

Oh my God did you see something?

Yes, I did.

Don’t tell me let me ask you…male or female?

Female.

Where?

At the foot of the staircase

How old?

Probably 60’s.

Can you describe her or her clothes?

Rick described her clothes and what he saw.

OH MY GOD. That is exactly what my husband has seen. Shit! Why can’t I see her?

So when Rick had to go back out to his truck some time later he called to tell me this. I am not surprised it’s just been awhile. Wild isn’t it?

Wish he’d see me picking up a big ole lottery ticket winnings!
Oh wait but that would make him psychic....whole other thing isn't it?  Damn!

Morning Radio with Howard Stern & Billy Joel

My huband has sirius radio in his work vehicle.
He listens to Howard Stern.
I find this my husbands only flaw.

But today he called me in my office to tell me to turn on Howard.
Before I could say anything he said, "Billy Joel is on playing songs on the piano all morning"
Okay that will make me turn on Howard Stern.
It felt wrong to turn on Howard.  It starts out fine but it ends up in an ugly place and I end up changing the channel and asking my husband, "what the hell is wrong with you?"
But c'mon it's Billy I had to turn the dial.
"Bless me father for I have sinned"
So I turned on Howard.  I'll shower later.

In the mean time I am happy as hell sitting at my desk listening to my man.
I have always loved Billy Joel.  Oh how I love Billy Joel.
I played his Piano Man album so much in the 70's that my hubby begged me to take it off the turntable and play something else.  ANYTHING else.
To you young folks, a turntable is something that was what we had to play our "records" on.
Not just to scratch them for hip hop....but to listen to them.

I have every album he has ever made including his greatest hits.
Okay Uptown Girl is lame but he's entitled to a few lemons.

Those friends of mine who know my love of Billy always ask, "What is your favorite song?"
I can't name one.  I just can't.  I think NY State of Mind, then I hear Shamless.  I think Shameless then I hear Honesty.  Too difficult.  Saw him in concert once and it is burned in my memory for some reason.  Still can't remember what I had for dinner yesterday but I can remember what I was wearing, what he was wearing, the conversation in between songs and who I went with and it was 1983!  Go figure that one. 

The crew on Howard Stern were asking about songs. 
How he wrote them, who they were about or what they were about, things like that.  Fascinating stuff if you love him like I do.
They had a baby grand in studio and had him playing and singing things off the cuff and songs they requested.  Songs he says he wrote for others were interesting stories.
He wrote a song in mind for Sting.  And after he plays it the way he thought Sting could do it - you "heard" how great this would have been for Sting.  But he needed a few more songs for his album and he ended up using it and it became a hit.

So for MY Tuesday pleasure I present you with Billy Joel songs.



C'mon you knew I'd pick this one.



I know most are thinking - who is this old dude? 

Mrs. Scrooge

As I have mentioned every year I very much dislike Christmas.
Wait for it....... (to quote Barney Stinson)
Yep I heard you all scream in disgust.

It's that time of year where we are all bombarded with ads, store decorations and holiday music everywhere outside your home. You can't avoid it.  My Starbucks looks like a Christmas Card.  Isn't the owner Jewish?  Couldn't he help me with this?  Jeez.
My grocery store this weekend looked like all the elf's had a hand in decorating our store as well as all that Christmas Muzak that was being played.

You see I know it's not considered "normal" to dislike this holiday if you were born Christian.
But I do.
I hate the stress of it!
I hate the Martha Stewart part of it!
I hate the whole damn ball of pine needles that need to be swept up constantly and that one that always misses the vacuum and finds my foot right through my sock to make me scream like a banshee.
I hate fake trees.
I hate pulling all this stuff out to decorate and then have to hall it all away!

I do however love, love, love Paula Deen's Mama's eggnog! 
Oh my that can make me sing Christmas Carols. (and surprise I don't like them either)
That eggnog can make the biggest scrooge like me wear red and green and decorate to make Martha proud.

I do believe if I had kids it would be different.  Seeing their excitement and joy is contagious.
That always makes one smile.  I used to love seeing my nieces and nephews at the holidays because they were pure joy. But there are no little ones right now in my life.
So we are Mr. & Mrs. Scrooge here at our home.

In the old days (when I had my corporate job) we liked to run away at Christmas.
Maybe Jamaica or somewhere warm.
But we are poor now and there are no trips so we have to be here in Christmas hell.

The neighborhood, a.k.a Stepfordville, is awash in holiday activities and decorations. 
God forbid you don't decorate your home. You will hear about it. Lest you not partake they ask you why?  WTH? It's none of your business.
As I mentioned to you all a few years ago I got so much grief one year from neighbors about not decorating outside I thought of buying a menorah for the window so that people would leave me alone.

I have no excuse now like, "Oh I travel so much for work I just don't have time."
Now I work from home. 
I can blog on my lunch break so why not get my fat ass outside to put up all the Christmas "cheer."

I want to like this holiday.
I used to as a younger person.
Loved a real tree, now a real tree means a mess to me.
I now find it a 6 week period of obligations to family, friends, strangers and beyond.
The baking, the money, the people, the "have to" mentality.
I am not baking because I want to but because I have to.
I am not giving because I want to but because I have to.
I don't mean my loved ones. I mean like your hairdresser, the mailman, the dog sitter etc.
My paper person actually sent an envelope with our bill last year so I could put his/her Christmas gift inside. I found that rude and had no intentions of giving him/her a gift and now I was felling like a shit because of it.
I find it stressful and honestly if I could go to sleep now until January 3rd I would be thrilled by that opportunity.

So I have made a pledge to really try to suck it up and make this a happy holiday time.
I realize that money isn't what it used to be in our home so I can't give everyone that gives me an envelope money so they will have to deal with it.  If it means my paper is wet or ruined so be it.  If my hairdresser doesn't color my hair well that's okay because I only see her now a couple times a year and the rest of the time I do it myself to save the money.

I still don't think we will be doing a real tree this year or caroling.
Hey, I'm taking baby steps.

Although I must admit in my very early 30's I went caroling with my cousins as we all pulled a sled of booze to keep us happy, warm and not shy of singing our little hearts out.

Okay I am going to start a new tradition.
I will begin drinking the Paula Deen's Mama's Eggnog starting this month.
It may help.....you just never know!
Cheers!

Book Review

by Denis Leary

Daylight Savings Time

I hate daylight savings time.  Do you enjoy this time change?
I don't hate it just because you lose an hour of sleep as they say....no it's worse than that.

I hate that it is now dark so damn early.
I get downstairs after work and it's already dark out. 
Haven't even started dinner and it's like it's 10pm.
I hate that my internal clock is awake an hour earlier and wants to go to bed an hour earlier.
I really hate that my dog who is so incredibly ruled by her internal clock on everything that she wants to eat dinner starting at 4pm. 
She wants to go to sleep at 8pm.
She wants to get up at 3:3oam - 4a.m.
She also wants to eat breakfast by 5a.m.
To you dog people - try keeping food from a Labrador. Jeez.

So I have been starving her an extra hour or two. 
Big sad eyes begging me for food.
A doggie chin on my thigh looking up at me like I'm the meanest woman ever by starving this cute face.
I won't let her fall asleep either when she begins to crash at 8pm (mean mommy!)
I thought if I kept her up she would be so tired she wouldn't be up so damn early.
Didn't work, no matter what I do she is up between 3:30 and 4:00AM.
Her internal clock says, "I've got to poop at this time woman, get out of bed! And while I'm up you might as well feed me. I am going to stand by my bowl and lick the empty thing until you feel so badly you'll end up giving me food.  I have the stamina old woman....you do not."

I want it to stop!
We humans are dragging and don't get naps during the day like she does.

Honestly I think Arizona has the right idea.  They don't change ever.
Always the same time there. Lucky them.
I don't like the desert or I'd move.
I hope a state in the north east has the cogliones to change their state law so I can move there.

I don't get why we do this anymore.  The majority of the country are not farmers.
Isn't that why it was started? How is this saving anything?  Certainly not our sanity.
I began to research and found that there are all kinds of reasons this law was inacted as well as a myriad of things that benefit from it like crime, car accidents etc. 
However it does not benefit me, my husband or my canine!

And c'mon it's all about me!

Mean Mommies

I am not a Mom so I don't get all these Mean Mommy stories I read about.
I am thankful I have not had to experience this shit.
I have noticed that it does appear to occur more in certain parts of the country.
I find that interesting yet at the same time that especially doesn't surprise me. 
Just saddens me.

I get the bullying in a different way with not having children.
I wrote awhile back about how women treat me sometimes because I don't have children.
I have never understood why that would bug someone else.
I'm not bugged if you chose to have children.  I love kids.  Just not my own.
I mean to tell you I got enough grief from my father about it so everyone can be assured I have received enough guilt, ridicule and damnation so you too do not need to lecture me more.

But the whole bullying thing is over the top.
Are women so miserable and feel so badly about themselves that they must make others feel badly?  Are they so insecure that they need to make others feel left out of the "gang"?
More importantly what does behaving like this do for them? And what is that behavior teaching their young ones?  That bad behavior is seen, felt and heard no matter what that mommy thinks!

So let's count.
Mommy's ridicule how other mom's raise their kids, dress their kids, school their kids and feed their kids and discipline their kids.  And these same Mom's give me, a part of a couple who chose not to have children, mean remarks, pity and my personal favorite, making it a point to ignore me and to be sure I see it.

I love this woman.  I love how she gets it. Her words are perfect here.
I love how she allowed her kid to do what he wanted because it didn't hurt anyone.
I love that he will grow up with such terrific parents.
I hate that at his young age he is already learning how shitty most people can be.

My 18 yr old nephew is a strapping 6'3" young man. 
He and his Grandpa always have a good laugh when looking at the pictures on his Grandpa's wall of he in a pink leotard with a boa and a tutu playing with his sister and cousins.
He grew up with a sister and 3 girl cousins.
His grandmother watched each of them every day after school until their mom's picked them up after work.
This young boy was 4 or 5 and all his cousins and his sister were always playing dress up.
He wanted to be able to wear the tutu and leotards like they did. He even wanted some of the sparkles on that they wore.
So his grandmother let him.
They put on a show. His grandmother laughed hysterically.
Then Grandpa came home and said to Grandma, "you can't let him prance around in a pink leotard and tutu for heaven's sake.  Are those sparkles on him? Oh for Pete's sake!"
She said there was nothing wrong with it!  He is surround by girls and he wants to play too.
He was not going to be gay.  Grandpa was not happy!

So now that this 18yr old boy is 1 foot taller than his grandpa they laugh at those pictures on the wall. This young man is heterosexual and finds it hysterical to hear that his grandfather thought what he wore would make him gay.  He thinks Grandpa is funny.
How wonderful that he gets it and all those horrible women and this school didn't get it.

Why do women do this?

The Fun of Aging

You know how I bitch about getting older?

Well I’m at it again.
To those out there younger than me – and who isn’t? – trust me this is helpful.
Jot ‘em down.
No one told us any of this shit when I was growing up.
You were taught about your menstrual cycle or as my mom called it the Curse
You were taught where babies come from. End of story.
Anything else you were left in the dark to learn by trial and error and on your own.

Take Your Hormones
I believe that if most of my friends began bio-identical hormones in their 40’s they would have saved themselves depression, pain, anger, brain fog and a plethora of other things. Don’t wait until you are full blow menopausal. Peri-meno is time! Get a great doctor and talk about this. The women I have discussed this with who have done it in their 40’s are sleeping better, feeling better, not as anxious, feeling sexy again, less cranky etc. Why wouldn’t you want to use them? To me it’s like saying, “Yes I have debilitating cramps monthly but I don’t want anything to make it better.”  So good to be balanced!

Hair
Hair on your body becomes more stubborn and changes big time.
I have much less hair on my legs now and frankly I don’t mind this at all.
It’s soft and fine like baby hair not course or prickly or even dark anymore.
But the ones that show up under my chin have got to go!
Remember that lunch lady with the chin hairs and you’d think why the hell doesn’t she take care of that.
I’ll tell you why – SHE CAN’T SEE THEM.

Eye Sight
You know about reading glasses or bifocals but what is most important is your mirror.
Invest in a magnifying mirror.
You will not regret this investment when you are over 40.
I recall at 41 years old I was at a work conference in Denver.
We all met for a breakfast meeting the first morning after arrival.
Everyone was talking about their evening and their rooms etc.
Someone loudly began to ask, “Who the hell uses these 10x magnifying mirrors in these bathroom they are dreadful!?” Then the jokes started.
I was the only one who admitted to liking it (I was now wearing reading glasses) because I thought it was helpful.
Time has passed and now I admit that I can’t put on my makeup without it – it is no longer helpful, it is necessary damn it.
If I don’t have that mirror I will look like a clown.
Maybe that was Tammie Faye’s issue. She just needed a good mirror.
Lunch lady too.

Gravity
We all know about gravity.
You gals with little boobs thank whomever you believe in that you do.
Because the bigger they are the harder they fall.
I now have to put mine in my pockets.
What is that lump on the back of my thighs you ask?...Why it’s my ass.
I no longer like gravity. My jowls are trying to take over the real estate my breasts used to have. Maybe this is why you lose your eyesight – so you can’t see the mess you have become.
I recall the actual day my girls fell.  They were big but still pert at 41.
My hubby is a boob man.  As he and Seinfeld like to say, "why would I be a leg man I have legs."
My hubby and I were getting undressed for bed and I took the girls out of my bra and they literally fell. (He was across the bed facing me. )
I looked down and looked up and before I could say a thing he says, "Oh my God I remember when your nipples looked at me and not at my feet"
He apparently saw the look on my face and then begins to walk towards me with his hands out like he is about to grope me. 
"You are not touching the girls after that remark you ass."
Poor things have never gotten up again....without help.

Hair color
Even if I had my original hair color I bet it would be much less shiny and pretty than it was because really if everything else has broken down why would it want to hang around with all these old parts? I color and color and hate it and hate it.
But now the gray hairs in the furnace are really weird.
Do you know they have genital hair color? I so did not!
But while shopping for hair color for my head I saw “Betty Beauty for the hair color down there. Get your Betty Ready!”   Betty ready?  Oh my God.
I thought I hadn’t read it correctly so I picked up the box and sure enough that is what I read. What I found a hoot is that I could color my coochie pop hair pink, red, an array of colors. Just think of the options here. Red & Green for Christmas.  Maybe lavender for Easter. Highlights for summer. 
No need to go with that pesky task of trying to match the carpet with the drapes.
Bottom line a gray hair will appear there ladies and it is just the beginning.

Memory
What memory? I remember shit.
They say when you are menopausal the first thing to go are nouns.
This happens a lot in pregnancy as most know. 
However I seem to not remember anything these days.
You see there is a thing called a brain fog. (It happens with thyroid issues as well.)
But those are hormones and hormone controller’s too so it’s all connected.
So you can’t remember where the hell your keys are but by God you can still remember that your husband said such and such back in 1989 and it still pisses you off.
So it’s slow is what I am trying to say.
Brain fog is not like dementia, it’s just a brain fog.
You can’t remember things like you could before. It really sucks and no matter how much I work at puzzles and other brain games to keep it sharp it still seems to be a thing that happens and honestly I don’t much care for it.
There are days that I can’t remember if I have talked about something on the blog before.
I then literally will spend hours in archives so I am not repeating. Jeez.
So you have been warned.

Hearing
This is so cliché that it bugs me.
My father used to tell me that I would lose my hearing when I would put on my head phones and crank up my rock music so loud he could hear it too.
He was convinced this was my fate.
When I took sign language classes he told me good thing because I would need them some day. I would laugh and wave my hand at him in playful disgust.
When he got a hearing aid at 82 I asked if it was all that Led Zepplin he was listening to.
He called me a smart ass and told me to “just wait”
I guess the time has come. I can’t hear shit. I am scared actually about this.
I swear they are speaking lower on Grey’s Anatomy than any other show – I have such a hard time hearing that show.
My favorite show, In Treatment, is a double whammy for me.
The lead actor speaks low as well as having an accent.
I know I have the tv on very loud when I watch this but it’s the only way I can make out what he is saying.
Then there is my microwave.  My microwave has two beeps.
One type of beep is when something is done.
The other beep is when I set the timer and it goes off. I can hear the first beep.
The timer beep I can not hear – unless I am standing right there in front of it.
We do have some funny things happen around here since I can’t hear shit.
But most of the time it's just damn annoying.

Your male partner
Your man will go through all of this stuff too (including hormones, hair issues, hearing and memory) and they are in such denial about it all.
They have gravity – yep, their balls will fall.
That was such a big surprise to my husband that he asked his doctor.
His doctor laughed his ass off. But who knew?
Now Rick explains that is why my Uncle Bob sits so slowly, his balls are probably really low by now and he doesn’t want to sit on ‘em. That makes me laugh. Because he is probably correct.

For our friends 40th birthday party Rick wrote him a poem called Low Hanging Fruit. Our friend refused to believe this happens. He thought Rick was just being funny.
He’s over 42 now and he sadly knows that it does indeed happen and he's seen it for himself.

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Colder Weather Habits

The colder weather brings the want of cold weather food in our house. 
With the exception of my husbands need to eat watermelon and cantaloupes all season.
And he sure tries.  Boy does he try.
He brought home some from Costco last week that were from South America.
He expects them to be delicious and we all know how this is going to turn out now don't we? 
He is not happy and generally surprised that his watermelon isn't Grade A awesome. 
Duh.  The man will eat fruit 24/7. 
If there is an empty fruit bowl or close to empty on our kitchen island he thinks the world is coming to an end.  "We Need Fruit! he will yell like it's Armageddon.
Me?  Not so much.  I like blueberry's only in my muffins.  I love summer fruit and berries but honestly I don't get that excited for an apple and I really don't care for pears.  I only like white seedless grapes because they are a bit tart.

I got Rick a Fruit of the Month club one year when I had a money making job.
He still talks about it.  I found it obscenely expensive but I knew how excited he would be getting that in the mail every month so I sprung for it.  He truly would start talking about the next month after 2 weeks. "Oh do you know what I'm getting?"  "Oh I hope it's those bosc pears."   Honestly a man who gets a chummer from fruit just makes me laugh.
But then I think about if Godiva sent me a chocolate of the month I may be damp too.

The cold weather made me want to make stew.  Damn it was good if I do say so myself.
 Rick having two bowls is a sure sign it was good too. That and the moaning he does when something is yummy to him.
I love a good warm hearty stew. I had a leftover bowl for lunch yesterday.  Yummy.
I do love cold weather food. Pure comfort food.  Guess that is why most folks gain weight in the winter.  The food tends to be heavier.  Chili's and Stews and Soups and warm casseroles.  Hmmm.....I have to stop 'cause I'm getting hungry.

The other good thing about the cold weather is shaving....or I should say not shaving.
I hate shaving my legs.  I have very fine leg hair but I still shave every day in the summer. 
My husband can't even feel it when I haven't shaved for a week and he finds it soft and funny that I freak out about it all.  So I do admit to not shaving every day like I do in the summer.
It's freeing to let it go for awhile longer.  Thank goodness for black tights and pants.

Of course there is that thing about winter clothes.  I love winter clothes.
I love the colors, the fabrics, the sweaters, the boots!!  Oh my.
There is something about those boots vs. a pair of flip flops that wins me over every time.

One of my other favorite things is curling up on the sofa or a big comfy chair in the winter months with a good book and hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps.  Mmmm.....a warm peppermint patty. 

What do you like about the cold weather if you live in such a climate?

Election Day and Other Random Important Things

FINALLY!  It's election day and we can finally rid ourselves of these awful commercials!
That alone is reason enough to vote.

This was halloween at our house Sunday night. Iz sits and watches all the comings and goings and doesn't move. She is quite entertained by all the sights and sounds. 

Didn't get as many children this year so we have a boat load of full size snickers and reeses p.b.cups. Thankfully I do not like either which is why I bought them. Rick will be eating these all year now. The kids were great. Cute, polite and funny. There was one kid that was a bit forward but his brother took care of it so quickly that it made me laugh. (I just couldn't let them see it.)

There were 5 or 6 boys all together.  All of varying ages.  The smaller ones were up front when they came to the door. The youngest one says very loudly, "Whoa, full size bars can I have two?"
Before I could say anything the big brother in the back came forward and said, "You don't ask that! What would Mom say to you...jeez that is so rude Justin?"
"Ah I'm sorry?"
"Tell this person not me."
Looking down at his bag he mutters, "I'm sorry"
"Thank you" was all I could say.  I was going to tell him he could have one of each but after his brother did all that I felt like I just couldn't very well undermine the big brothers discipline. The big brother was all of 11 and said he was sorry to me too.
I just thought it was cute as hell.

Did any of you see Portia De Rossi on Oprah yesterday? 
I really was moved by it.  It moved me in a lot of ways and levels.
I just wanted to hug her.  The depth of her pain was killing me.
I have Oprah's last season on DVR so then while making dinner I can watch  the show.
I was chopping veggies for stew and I had to keep wiping my eyes.
I am surprised I still have 10 digits because at points I couldn't see what I was cutting through all my tears for her.
What did you all think?  Was it just me?

Is it Friday yet?

In honor of my favorite black and orange holiday a halloween story shall commence.

I will not be posting anything until next week.
I have a crazy schedule for the next few days.

Because of that I decided to go back into the archives and get a halloween story that I wrote about before there was a single follower.
That makes me assume no one read it before so here ya go......

Sadly this tale is true and if I believed in owning guns Rick would have been hurt because I was so mortified! (and pissed)
That should have been a big ass red flag for me to see how he never gets any messages correct, remembers dates well or for that matter LISTENS!

Is it all men or just my crazy ass husband?  Am I alone in this?
Enjoy

In The Moment

On my late morning walk with Izzy we were walking east and a mom and a toddler in a stroller were walking towards us on the same sidewalk.
The mom never took her eyes off her phone, blackberry, whatever.
The baby was pointing at Izzy and saying, dog, dog, dog.  When we got close enough I stopped and said do you want to pet the dog? 

The mother never uttered a word to me or her child.  She never looked at her child.
She never looked away from her gizmo. I could have taken the kid and ran and she wouldn't have seen me enough to describe me to the authorities.

I knelt down and had Izzy sit.  The little girl touched Izzy and giggled. That adorbable toddler giggle that took me right out of my mood.
I looked up at the mom but she was busy shaking her head and texting.
I asked the little girl her name.  I did not understand anything she said.
Izzy licked the back of her chubby little hand and that made her giggle again.
I had her touch Izzy's ears because they are like velvet.  The little girl rubbed the ears and said, soft and i think blankie.  Or something that sounded like that.

I got up and said good bye as Izzy licked her again.
Then the cutest ignored baby giggled again.
I said, "go" to Izzy and off we went. 
I turned around to see if the mom ever looked up as the baby was just talking up a storm with her arm out of the stroller pointing at who knows what. 
The mom had not moved and was still looking down glued to her gizmo.

I see this all the time.  Mom has in her ear buds and listening to anything but her child.  I see mom's pushing strollers and talking on the phone.
Am I so naive when I think that this is really good mommy time?  That talking to you kid about what you see is not only good bonding but learning?  Are mom's doing this all day long?
What great conversations you are missing and moments that are being missed.

Hell I talk to my damn dog.  I love it that she is scared of all the decorations out there right now.  I walk up to the scarecrow or witch that is moving and make her smell it etc.  I can't imagine ignoring her growls.  So I REALLY can't imagine ignoring my kid who is asking, pointing and saying things to me.  I get that after the non stop chatter you can block some of it out for your sanity.  I get that. This was so different.

Continuing on our walk we came around a bend and saw 1 huge deer run across the street.
It went between two homes.  Imagine that in your back yard. Whew.
Rick tells me they are in mating season and they are nuts. 

But as we get to the curve of this bend 2 more big deer run onto this grassy knoll.  
The UPS man was coming around the corner and he stopped his truck. 
There was a man from the HOA who was mowing the common area. We all froze. 
I was on the edge of the grassy knoll. The 2 ran towards us and I pulled Izzy's leash and moved by a tree and clapped my hands like a crazy woman.  They stopped, looked around, snorted and turned around and raced back to the woods.  Whew! 

You could hear my heart beating I swear. 
The UPS man yelled out his opened door, "that was too close wasn't it? Be careful it's mating season."  
Gee does everyone know this?  I don't keep track of the mating season of animals so how does everyone know this shit? He asked me if I was okay. 
I smiled, thanked him and said I'll be fine as soon as I get home and change my pants!" 
He laughed and said, "I know if I had been that close I'd have to do the same!"

But if I had been so busy on the "gizmo" of choice would I have reacted fast enough? 
Would I have missed this?  They sure were big and pretty but that close a bit too scary too.

Smoke on the Water

Izzy began whimpering to go swimming at 6a.m.
I am not a morning person and I sure as hell wasn't about to head out in the dark and very cold without coffee. She would have to deal with it.  I mumbled, "be like other dogs and go by yourself" She just tilts her head and looks at me like I'm the meanest woman she's ever seen.
She wants someone to throw the ball in the water so she can fetch and swim back.
Note to self, teach her games to play by herself.

At 8 a.m. on Saturday we head down the hill that is our back yard on a  38degree brisk morning.  Brrrr......The water was 65 degrees which caused the fog hovering over the water to seem like an apparition.  Made for a cool photo though.

The water was so  calm and the only sounds were birds and nature. 
I prefer the sound of my rhythmic breathing while wrapped up in my down comforter to lull myself to sleep.  Obviously that wasn't happening this morning.

Izzy likes to fetch or I should say, used to like to fetch balls and sticks that we would throw in the water. But over labor day the little boy visiting had a small football.  That is all she wants anymore. She sees one in someones yard and she grabs it.  She found one in the woods and after she picked it up she practically dragged me home so she could play with it.
She is obsessed with footballs.

We actually had to buy 20 of these little things.  K-Mart no less. I haven't been to a K-mart in years. (like maybe 25yrs) Anyway they told us there that they only had 1 but to go online to buy them.  We got 10 small footballs for $2.00 a piece with free shipping. O.k. good deal.  Since after she's done fetching with one ball for awhile she will surgically remove the stitching.  Seriously, surgically remove the stitching. 
You could sew it back together because she does it like she has a seam ripper for pete's sake. (weird ass dog)

So here is what we did all weekend.
Who would have thought that me having rotator cuff and labrum surgery 3 years ago would be a blessing?  I can only throw with my right hand and since my surgery I can no longer throw for hours anymore so I get the easier part of the deal than Rick's.

I tried to embed this but for some reason it will not accept it.  I even tried other videos and it would accept those.  I get so frustrated with blogger so here is just the link.
Rick cut the video off in an odd place at the end but it's cool how you can see the reflection of a bright orange tree by our dock in the water.

Working from home is really working!

I have worked from home most of my adult life.
Yes, I have had jobs where I have to go to an office and I don't hate it but I have grown to love working from home. Besides wearing clothes every day is a big pain in the ass.

The majority of my adult work life though was working from a virtual office and then going somewhere by plane, train, or automobile to see my customers. Some weeks I was only home 2 days and some weeks I worked from home 5 days.

Working from home to those who have never done it seems to be not really work.
But that just couldn't be farther from the truth.

There are days you go to your home office before your first cup of coffee in your bathrobe to turn on the computer.  You see your boss is requesting a meeting at a time that you have a call scheduled with a client. So you sit down and begin to email and rearrange your life.  Before you know it, it's noon and you are still in your bathrobe and haven't eaten a thing and you have a bad headache from not having any caffeine. 

So you throw on some clothes and you hear the phone ring.  You make a mad dash back to the office to get the phone because you know it's your boss because she/he is in another time zone and it's early for him or her. And just like that, you're back in the office and it's 3pm before you know it.
You go back to your bedroom to at least finish dressing and brushing your teeth. Then you go to the kitchen to grab some food and run to your office with it as you pick up the phone.  You eat this food in bites over 2 hr period between phone calls, emails and putting out fires.
You work until your family is hungry and standing at your office door asking if you're ever leaving your office because it's 6pm. Where did the day go? And what do you do after dinner?  You go back to the office to "just check" on this or that.  You truly work longer hours when you work from home.

Now my step mom has asked numerous times why I am always doing all the chores on weekends it's not like I'm not at home during the week day. Yes, I am home but I'm working!!  I am not doing laundry or vacuuming because I am working. 
She along with friends and neighbors also think because I am home I will answer my home phone.  No.  I will not be doing that.

Think about it for a minute.  I am in my office at home with a separate office line. 
If I stopped and took every damn phone call during the day and talked to every candidate running, telemarketer, or salesman I would not get anything done in my job. 
If I went to an office downtown I could not answer my home phone during the day. 
To work from home it is the same.  My mother has my office number but she still calls me at home during that day and leaves me messages on my voicemail like this,
"Peggy I know you're home, it's mother pick up."
Like with voicemail I would be able to even hear her, which is a whole other story for another day.

So now I have neighbors who think I have all the time in the world to drop them off somewhere in the middle of the day or let their contractors in because they are at work, or my favorite from stay home women, go to lunch and shop.
Honest to God it fries my ass. 

Last week I told my neighbor who has already moved to another state that I would help her out.
But the day became a cluster @#$%
I told her to tell her roofer that I work from home so if he rings the bell I may not be able to answer the door quickly.  I may be on the phone with a customer so be patient.

At 10am I hear a pounding on my front door, apparently the door bell was too small for this goof ball to see.  I am on the phone and I couldn't hang up, it was bad timing.  He pounds harder and longer this time.  I finally asked the customer if he could hold.  I ran downstairs and opened the door and told him I was working and I would be done in just a minute.  He was pissed. (oh well)  I run back upstairs to my customer and finish up the call.  I run back downstairs and as doing so hear my office phone ringing.  I let the roofer in my neighbors home and show him all he needs to see so he can do his job.  I ask if he needs anything and how long did he think this would take.  Several hours is all he could tell me and he needed nothing else. 

I get back home and see I now have 3 voice mails. 
I call everyone back and then my door bell rings.
I go back downstairs and it's the roofer asking for clarification about something that makes me have to be next door at the neighbors home.  So back I go next door.  After 20 minutes I go back to work.  I am so behind now.  Now the dog needs to go out.  I am about to scream. 
Come back from a walk and Izzy sits by my feet and goes to sleep. 
Finally I can get some work done.  I am on the phone again with a customer going over the procedures and warranty and someone is knocking on my door.  I think it's the damn roofer again so I figure, "He can wait!"
They knock 2 more times. Now they are pounding so hard that I can feel it upstairs.
I assume he thinks I can't hear him.   Ring the bell that is what it is there for not that I can get away that minute anyway. 

I go to the door and it's my neighbor across the street. 
She asks, "are you busy?" 
"Yes, I am I'm working."
"Well do you think you could drop me off at my stable where I board my horse?"
"Right now?"
"Yes.  It's not that far.  You know they paved the road where our garage is today."
"Well I forgot about it and so now I can't get my car out of the garage."

At that moment my office phone rings.
I ask her to come in and let me get this phone call and I'll be right with her.
I go back downstairs and she asks," can you go now?"

I didn't want to but I remembered when I was sick and I couldn't drive she drove me to the hospital so I felt like I owed her one.  So off to the stables we went.

35 minutes later.....By this time the roofers were done and waiting on me and not one bit happy.(guess what neither am I!!) 
I inspected everything for my old neighbor to report back to her. 
It was all fine but I wasn't.  I knew I'd be working very late this evening.
I felt very rushed and my whole flow was gone. 
I got back to the office and answered all the voice mails and worked until 8pm to get caught up. 

So the next time someone tells you they work from home believe them.
They are working.
You would never think to go to someones office and ask them to do the things I am asked to do because I "just" work from home.

People tell me all the time they aren't that disciplined they would play around or watch tv or whatever they wanted to do other than work. But trust me you wouldn't. 

What did happen when I started working from home was I found that I get lazy in how I am dressed or how I look.  Before I had a dog there were days where I didn't get dressed or do my hair or wear makeup etc. For that matter there were days where the only thing I did do was brush my teeth.  Then I'd realize it was almost 5:30p and my husband would be home soon and I better get my butt in the shower so I wasn't stinky girl when he got home!

Honestly, if the UPS man ever saw someone answer my front door and they were NOT in a red bathrobe he would think he was at the wrong house.  I don't want to confuse him.

O.M.G.

I am heading to the lake house this afternoon.
Rick had to leave earlier so I will be driving all alone with the dog.

I now have this photo of two of my favorite boyfriends burned into my memory so my 4 hr drive will be that much better. 

Does Jerry look good with long hair or what?  ....Hold on a minute I must remove the drool from the keyboard.

Ooh the fantasy's.

Dog Days

My dog loves the cool weather.
She can be outside all day now since it's fall.
Me too, but I must work.

I took the camera out with us for a very long walk.
I was hoping for some great nature shots but she had other ideas of where we were going.
And I gave in.

One block away on the same side of the street is a beautiful black lab named Libby.
Libby is just a couple months older than Izzy. 
They are the same size and love to play together.
Libby lives across the street of a little park they both love to play in together.
Some days Izzy will sit across the street and stare at Libby's front door.
But this day Izzy was dragging me to her door.

When we got to her front door Izzy and Libby stared at one another through the side lights of Libby's front door. If you look closely or make larger you can see Libby's face in the window.

She did not want to leave.  Libby's owners were not home so she couldn't come out to play.
I can not reason with a dog so she would look at Libby and then back at me. Neither barked.  Both just stared at each other. I tugged at her collar and got her to move.
We got to the end of the entrance to their home and she sat down and stared back at her again.

We walked for just 45 minutes and as we came around the corner to our home she wanted to sit on the stoop of my neighbors once again.  So we did.  This was what I was considering my lunch break and I had 15 more minutes before it was 1:00p.m.  But the windows to my office were open and as I sat on my neigbhors stoop I could hear the phone ringing. 

Finally I said to Izzy, who can not understand my babble but that does not stop me from talking to her like she does, "let's go girl I have to go back to work" 
She normally gets up when I say this. So I walk down the steps and say, "COME" that always works. She is now staring at me in such a mean way that it makes me laugh out loud. She wants to stay outside on this stoop and watch the squirrels and people go by.
I have never seen this mean and angry face before....she is pissed off as you can see.
So of course I have to take her picture because to me this is funny as hell.

This is her cute normal nice face below. Yep she was pissed at me above alright. 

But I said COME one more time and she did but she was not happy about it.
I swear she is like having a toddler!  Thank God she can't talk back.

Life Tid Bits

Life is a bit icky right now.
How is that for an adult word? icky.
But the word feels right about now.

Work is a bit slow and that always makes me panic.
And for damn good reason because that makes money tighter.

My health is well it is......

My hair is still growing out and honestly I couldn't look any uglier.
Oh sure if my teeth fell out and I had carbuncles on my face I suppose I would look a bit worse. But seriously I have always been about my hair so this is killing me.

I know what you're saying, "you've been about your hair? We've seen those 80's pictures lady how can you say that?"
I know I know.
But for some reason if I am having a seriously bad hair day then it affects me.
Right now I have had a continuous bad hair day since August and this saga began.

I used to have my hair cut out around my ears and now that hair touches the top of my ear lobe. That is an ugly place to stop so now it goes behind my ears.
The top seems so flat to me because I am used to having spiky hair.
I will admit this is the longest I have been able to go to grow out my hair since cutting it short.  I have attempted to do this several times and always give up. 
You will not see pictures of this!

I think it's pathetic that I place so much importance to my hair.  Really I do. 
That is not lost on me.
But I am admitting I have a problem, isn't that the first step. :-)

In other news on my homefront-I had a weekend of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The good was I made my hubby's favorite apple pie.
He gets so excited about apple pie that it makes me happy.
Since it was not gluten free I don't get to eat it. So every evening he has a piece and tells me that it is delicious and that "I did good"  He is so easy to please and that is a good thing.

I have a wall of windows across the back of the house/kitchen that go up 8 ft high and the windows were in dire need of cleaning.
Every time I see the sun poking through the dirt on my windows I say to my self I must clean these windows. But I didn't. 
So without discussion, whining, begging or suggesting Rick just went out and washed the windows after he ate a piece of pie for brunch on Sunday. They look so damn good that I keep staring out them. I told him last night that it is probably one of the more pathetic things of my life that the clean windows excited me so. He laughed and just had more pie.

This weekend we had a friend come over from a couple we have known since 1987.
Just the wife came over. They are in trouble. She needed to vent and needed us to just listen.
It's not a great place to sit for Rick and myself.  How honest can you be when you are asked? We weren't as honest as we could be. We felt it was more rhetorical than real questions.
We listened and listened and listened.  It was both the bad and the ugly!
I think she knows what she must do she just isn't completely ready to do it.
It made me love my big guy all the more. As we got into bed that night he went on and on about how miserable it would be to live that kind of life and be so unhappy all the time.
He thanked me for being his wife and partner.
I swear that man will say anything to get laid.

T.G.I.F.

Tomorrow is Boss's Day.
I sent this to my husband. (we are self employed)

Now if only that were true. Okay maybe the drinking part but I never take a lunch or am ever tardy.

Just some Friday funnies.

Gee seems to be a theme here.  It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

too far?  nah!