Michael Jackson.....yet again

Hey am I the only one who wishes all this friggin' coverage of MJ was over with all ready?

C'mon! Do we really need the 1st hour of GMA, Today etc to spend on this topic? Must every friggin' show be about his odd life, dysfunctional family?

He was weird. He had a few decades of good music that meant something to a good deal of people. He was also scary, odd, self absorbed, manipulative, possibly criminal, and not a good friend if you ask Paul McCartney.

So let's call it like it is....it was sad, he died, he was young. We reported it, we saw it on TV for a several days - NOW ENOUGH ALREADY!

Okay, let the mean emails to me begin.

Monday Musings

It’s officially summer. The whole month of July is jam packed with company at our lake house. That is how I know it’s summer. Want friends to visit – buy a place on water. It works like a charm. I am looking forward to all of them. Most from far away that I haven’t seen in years. I bet they haven’t aged a bit…..I can’t say the same.

One year we had guests who were bringing their children. I baked some chocolate cupcakes with homemade vanilla crème centers. You know like a Hostess cupcake. I frosted them with chocolate frosting and white piping just like a Hostess version. When they arrived the cupcakes were on the table in a glass dome container. After the luggage was put away, the kids put on their suits & we adults made a few cocktails and off we went to play in the backyard/water.

When it was lunch time we went up to the house and made a quick and easy lunch and one of the kids asked if they could have a cupcake. I said, “Sure if it’s okay with your mom it is just fine with me sweetie, just help yourself.”

Well then I learned that she does not allow them to have this type of food. I was feeling like shit. It went something like this.....She told her daughter, "NO you know you aren't allowed to have them & then your brother will be begging."

"But Mom she made them for us didn't you Aunt Peggy? "

"If you continue to argue with me you’re both going to bed."

Yikes. This is all my fault!!!

So here they are all pretty on a pedestal glass dome container for the world to see and they aren’t allowed to have any. I asked the mother after the kids left the room if they could have some later or was it just not right now at lunch time. She said, No, Never.
We went back outside and I actually forgot about it.

Then later in the day after the sun went down I walked into the kitchen to find the kids just staring at the cupcakes and I was mortified. Literally looking at them on the table like an exhibit at the zoo.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to walk over and just yank them away for heaven’s sake. But I felt horrible that they were standing there staring at something yummy they weren’t allowed to have and that I had made just for them. I asked if they wanted some watermelon. They didn’t and really can you blame them? They have chocolaty goodness staring back at them for God’s sake. I felt like the worst hostess ever!

So I asked if they saw the play station in the game room. They hadn’t so they ran downstairs. Whew!

In the mean time I grabbed my hubby and said, “Run these over to the neighbors – they’ll eat them.” He looked at me and said, “But I love these why are you giving them all away?”
I explained the situation to him and he said he wanted to save one. I looked at this grown ass man and said, “C’mon now Rick they don’t need to see you eat them while they would love one - they have literally been staring at these for awhile so get over to the neighbors before they see you leave with them. And eat one over there or something you big baby. It’s not like I can’t make more for you later”

When he came back from the neighbors – who were thrilled by the way - He gave the mom shit for not letting the kids have just 1 for a treat from their “Aunt” Peggy and “Uncle” Rick.
She laughed and said, “You want one don’t you Rick? I didn't say you couldn't.”

But she was strong in her conviction that her children will not have excess sugar or junk food or eat things that are not healthy. Good mom I know. I just can’t wrap my head around it for a treat though. I bought ice cream treats too but they couldn’t have those either. Thankfully they didn't see those. After the cupcake "incident" I asked the mom first when they weren't around.
I was a bad hostess that year. I just thought of summer things I liked as a kid and those 2 things came to mine. Ice cream and cupcakes and I love to bake so easy fix. WRONG.

So now I ask everyone who is coming. What can I feed your children, what do they like, not like, any allergies to food etc? Makes everyone’s life feel better that way.

The grown ups will eat anything ….even that mom who wouldn’t let her kids. When they went to bed it was junk, alcohol and cigarettes. While they are awake she is a saint.

Good thing I didn’t have kids. I'm no saint and I’d go straight to hell I'm afraid.

Kids, Dogs, it's all the same

Okay you know how people with new babies or little children only talk about said babies and their adorable children? Well I feel I am living that world these days. Jeez, I hate those people!

Oh God it's awful and wonderful. I love this puppy but I find it stressful. She is not housebroken and she has shit once on the carpet so I am now watching her constantly. Everyone including me thought this wouldn't be so difficult since I work from home.

Hell no! I am not getting any thing at work accomplished at all this week really. She is very consuming when she is not napping. THANK GOD FOR PUPPY NAPS!!

I am trying to read the signs and I swear there are times she looks at me like, "what the hell is wrong with you? You've had me now for 6 days and you still can't read my signs of when I have to go pee or poop? Boy I have a dumb ass mother here!"

There are times that she looks like the perfect puppy jumping high and frolicking with her squeaky toys or when she is sleeping. Then there are times when she looks at me from the corner of her eyes and looks to be thinking...."if I had thumbs so help me God I would open that door and run from you, you neurotic woman!"

I realize that my floors will never look beautiful and clean again.

I realize that all my issues and being anal retentive about my home being just so are long gone....along with perky breasts.

So what was I thinking of becoming a new mom at this age?

Is there enough wine or Tangueray gin to get me through this?

Hell those are rhetorical questions - of course there isn't enough wine or gin. There isn't enough on a good day!

Doggy Paddle

My first letter to my Mommy's friends.

Boy have I had a weekend!

My new parents picked me up on Friday in Charlotte NC and I had the longest car ride of my 3-month life. Then on Saturday, they took me down to their boat. I don't like the boat. I hide under Daddy's seat.

I did sit on the dock far from the edge like a perfect little puppy by my mommy's legs. So she grabbed her camera from her wrist and looked in the viewfinder to see my cute face.

But instead she saw me put my paw over the edge of the dock and I fell head first - I did a somersault - into the lake. She went to grab me as I was going down, down, down.

In the meantime my daddy was in the water and he came over and grabbed me by my neck as I came back up to the surface all by myself! I was so scared that my little heart was pounding and pounding so hard and I let daddy hold me and I put my head right on his shoulder and snuggled until I felt better.

In just a few minutes of snuggling, I was just fine and decided to find out what all this wet stuff was anyways.

I got the hang of swimming pretty quick if I do say so myself. (I stayed in the shallow end by the shore I admit) I think my parents were more scared than me! They said they didn't plan on introducing me to water that way - but it ended up being fun.
Now I am at another house and I am so confused. I think they are trying to drive me nuts.

And you know what drives me crazy? All they do is keep asking me if I want to go outside.

I don't want to go outside it's too hot what is wrong with them? I am a diva and only like the shade or air conditioning! Can't they tell that every time we go out and I will always sit under a tree before I can go on. Jeez!

I hope you like my first day of swimming pictures. As long as they don't make me try that boat thing again I think it may be a fun summer!

Sloppy Kisses,

Izzy

some quick thoughts

Izzy is coming home tomorrow! YIPEE. This was sent from the breeder. She is 13 weeks old. I can't wait to get her home. Video's and photo's to follow.

It's still raining. It's raining in my header picture from May when we were in the Bahamas. It rained the minute we got home and hasn't stopped since. What the hell? I guess the drought is at least over but honestly I may have webbed feet soon. I left Seattle for a reason!! (well 2 actually the people are very very weird!)

I am blessed to have a cleaning lady. She is trust worthy and that is priceless. She is the best we've ever had as far as cleaning. However she is a bitch. There are days when the idea of cleaning my own toilet is actually a happy thought than to deal with her attitude and unreliabilty. That feeling does pass though.

She boasts how she is always on time. She is NEVER on time. I don't dare say that for fear of her. She never listens and gets what you tell her correct because I believe she is thinking about her response once you open your mouth to speak to her. And God knows she will agrue with you if you tell her that you told her this or that or that the sky is blue. She is always right and she is a bitch about it. She doesn't do humor.

She has a very thick accent and she does confuse words us. Sometimes I have no idea what the hell she is trying to tell me. She has been here for 14 years. Her husband sounds just like me. He has lived here in America as long as she has. Difference is he will speak English all the time....she refuses to. He has moved up the ladder in his company and she is cleaning houses and bitching. She became a United States Citizen a few years ago. Yet every time she goes to Mexico to see her family she says, I am going to my country. If she is talking about anything she says,,," in my country." I always retort with, your country is now America. Didn't you hold up your hand and swear to that? So yes, I am a bitch right back but for some reason that one sticks in my craw. Do you think the snotty French would tolerate that?

She was suppose to be here an hour ago. I am sure she will have some excuse. Just so she shows up - she has been known to not do that too. But I continue to say, "I am thankful I can afford a cleaning lady 2 times a month." and deal with the crazy ass woman. But my toilets and floors need cleaned woman - hurry up!

Ghosts

I love the show Paranormal.
Seriously though I can not watch it alone at times- even daytime.
I always wait for Rick to be home to watch it with me.
It's over now for the season but because I tivo it I just watched the season finale.
That show just lingers on for me. I think about it a lot.

When I was a little girl I have very vivid memories of an imaginary friend who I called Janet.
I can see what she is wearing to this very day. Black braided pigtails, red plaid dress, white socks and black shiney Mary Jane shoes.
Scary I can remember that but not where my flip flops were left last.

My family has always told stories about me screaming because my father "sat" on her.
Making my mom set a place for her at the dinner table for her.
I was 6 and under when we lived at that house. I remember all of this like it was yesterday.
Hell, better than yesterday because I don't remember what I had for dinner yesterday.

On the show Paranormal they showed a kid who was always talking and playing with an imaginary friend. The parents were worried about the kid and were convinced he saw ghosts. When the team came to inspect of course the parents were correct.
Unfortunately the imaginary friend began to scare this little boy and that was why the paranormal team was called in. So this young boy was playing with an older child who was making him sad and making him do mean things and damaging things around the house.
It wasn't fun anymore to play with him yet he wouldn't go away. That made him mad.
Hence the parents need to get this out of the house and why they were scared and called the paranormal team.

Now my husband is really convinced that my imaginary friend was a ghost. (he thought it could be before when I told him stories)
I know she could have been because I have lived in homes that were haunted and I have seen "things." shall we call it. But honestly I really just thought I had a vivid imagination - end of story.

However I am not so sure anymore. Rick asked me if my imaginary friend, Janet, came with us when we moved. I said no. And it hit me like a bolt. Why if this was imaginary wasn't she at my new house? Hmmm....good question.

So maybe he's right. (for once...tee hee) and she was a little girl that passed away in that home and came back. She liked my little toy piano and my blocks. I remember playing with those toys with her for hours. Could my whole memory of me and my imaginary friend be of a ghost? It kind of flips me out to think that to be honest. But he makes a good point. She was in my life all the time and then we moved and never saw her again.

Makes you wonder doesn't it?

WHAT? HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

My husband makes my coffee most mornings. I don't like to chat when I get up. He has this annoying habit of whistling, being happy, as well as being all chatty Cathy. 
I hate that.

This morning he is talking to Izzy like I can't hear. I can hear you I want to scream but that would entail talking so I don't bother.
"Your mommy is not happy in the morning is she Izzy? No, we have to get some caffeine in her first don't we?"  

Honestly, if I had the energy I'd smack him into next week. But then I realize I'd have to make my own coffee. I remind myself I abhor violence.

All the while his chatter is taking place Good Morning America is on in the background. They are going on and on about a concert in Bryant Park this morning.
I hear them say that JOHN LENNON would be playing at this event....they said this so many times I had to speak. Damn them.
I say to Rick– WHAT? JOHN LENNON? HOW THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN? He's been dead for 20+ years.

He couldn’t answer me because he was laughing so hard.

Apparently, it was JOHN LEGEND who would be performing at said event.

Oh well now that makes more sense.

I feel like Emily Latella on Saturday Night Live.

Do you remember that old lady character that Gilda Radner played?

“What is all this excitement about for saving the feces? Why must we save the feces?”

"No Emily, it’s save the species.”

“ Oh. Never mind.”

Oh God, my life has come to this.
I need a hear aid don't I?

I got to hug a dolphin!

Vacation was great. Let's start with that.

Vacation weather sucked. It rained every damn day.

I would normaly insert picture here but realize that all photo's are of people who don't want to be on the blog. Even hubby so no video or photo's folks. How boring....

BUT I did find a way to get hubby on here - back of head on top of blog.

(Always a way around this people)

I got to play with a dolphin. His name was Andy. Andy was born in captivity.

On one hand that saddens me. But now he couldn't go out in the wild because he doesn't know how to hunt for food. On the other hand I am glad he was there so I could do all I got to do with him.

They wouldn't let me bring my camera down to the place where we got to touch him, hold him, play with him etc. I was pissed about that. Of course they took pictures and videos of you so that you would spend the big bucks to get these pictures. I refused.

$58 for a picture when I had my own damn camera really ticked me off. So I refused their tactics. I will remember this day for the rest of my life. And if I get dementia I wouldn't remember it from the photo's either so what the hell.

It was so damn cool though. My husband has told me for years they would feel like an olive. They do not feel like an olive! The dolphin felt more like my rubber mat I floated on in the pool.

I wasn't expecting the dolphin to be so squishy feeling. It was just so damn cool I can't even articulate this all.

I rubbed his pink and grey belly, his head, his back, his dorcel fin. I "danced" with him while I held his "hands" (pectoral fins) His teeth were incredibly sharp but so straight. That is what fascinated me the most. He opened his mouth and allowed me to rub my fingers across his teeth.

Honestly this was the best part of my trip!

The 2nd best part was the island massage. They took us by boat to this private island. There were cabana's that were very private and we had massages there. It was a large Zen garden feel. Gorgeous really! The water lapping on the shore was the only sound you heard. It was heavenly. I highly recommend everyone getting to do that at least once. The whole Sandals Cay (island) was glorious....rain and all.

I was nicknamed "Casper" by a few couples at the resort because of my bright white skin. I was so hoping to get some sun. But mother nature had other ideas. I came home with the same white legs. I did get some color in my upper body because on the day it was actually nice for 4 hours I was sitting in the pool bar so my legs were in the water and my upper body got a nice sun burn. Oh well. Fun was had by all.

Now it's back to work and guess what - it's raining here too!
I can't catch a break can I?

Random Friday Musings

Let's start with the light stuff......American Idol.

My gal Allison is gone but hopefully someone will get her a record deal and I'll get to hear her rockin'. I still can't believe she is only 17. Man I was so NOT that cool or poised at 17!

Thrilled to see Danny Gokey go. Something about him was swarmy to me. He never seemed sincere and I always felt there was something creepy behind that smirk. Ooooh. He gave me the creeps.

So that leaves me with Kris and Adam. I have loved Adam since day 1. He was always my pick with Allison and Kris in that order. I think who ever doesn't win is probably better off - not having to do the sappy crap they make them sing. But one never knows. Kelly Clarkson's first CD was pretty damn good. Either way I still want Adam's hair. Yea I said it, I want a dude's haircut.

I know he plays for the other team but he is just so damn yummy. A Big Tall good looking strapping dude. Unlike the host who is such a girly man. A tiny little man. No, a girl needs a MAN. Big shoulders to hug you with. Who wants someone as tiny as they are? Not me. Oh well, like they always say the good ones are either gay or married! Too bad I didn't have a son to fix him up with!

Grey's Anatomy.....WTF? Last night's finale drove me crazy. There were a ton more commercials than there was show time. Thank God for a DVR and fast forward. And that damn music on the show is louder than the dialog and it drives us crazy. I so wish I could mute the music and just listen to the characters speak without having to rewind all the time. It was all predictable except GEORGE. OMG!!! That blew me away. I will be so sorry to see my lovable George go away.

My husband and I have applied for new insurance because we are being raped by Blue Cross Anthem. Currently they have raised our monthly premiums to $903 a month. It is killing us.

So we went out to bid and applied for insurance with a few other companies. We got a rejection notice from one company and they listed the reason as my husband having ongoing lung cancer.

WHAT? So after the initial shock wore off we called them. I mean seriously if he had lung cancer for the past 10 yrs as it states he would be a walking miracle and should be on TV! 2nd of all IT IS NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

We are currently in doctor and insurance nightmare hell. Now I realize the real hell would be if he had ever had or currently has lung cancer. That point is not lost on us. But in the mean time we can't get insurance. We are going round and round with everyone and no one wants to take responsiblity and step up to the plate. We need one of these damn doctors to write a letter and say this isn't so. I won't bore you with all the work we have done and continue to do to fight this but it is pure hell. I wouldn't wish this on Dick Cheney.....and I dispise that son of a bitch.

We leave for the Bahama's in less than a week and I am so ready. Sitting close to the water with my toes in the sand, sun on my face and water lapping onto my legs. A cold beverage in one hand and my sweetie holding the other - God I can't wait!

Beach Wear

My husband made a loud, serious and determined proclamation this morning over coffee that he will no longer be consuming any bread products, pizza or pasta until our vacation in 13 days.

He stated he has to look good in his bathing suit.

I spit out my coffee across the room in a fit of laughter.

Like 13 days of that will eliminate my little ole pot bellied stallion.

God love him.

Kindle Shmindel

I have a love for books.
I love the smell of books, the feel of books, the experience of books.


I have vivid memories of my collection of Nancy Drew's. I was so proud that I had read all of those beautiful books on my book shelf in my room. I couldn't wait to add the next one.


I also have very fond memories of my mom taking me to the library in the summer. It was our afternoon together. My younger sister thought that reading in the summer was crazy. No school, no reading for her! That was utter nonsense in her world.
So my mom normally left her with the neighbor to play with their daughter and we would head off into "town" to go to the library.


I liked everything about the library.....okay except I had to be quiet.
I even enjoyed the Dewey Decimal System. Oh God I am showing my age.
Flicking the cards in those old oak drawers looking for the names of my favorite authors and then the hunt on the shelves for the book. It was a mystery to me and I loved the whole damn ritual of it all. Then coming home to read my books. That was pure bliss.


On a warm summer day I would put some cherries or strawberries in a bowl and go outside in the yard with my bowl of cherries and a blanket. I would lay on the blanket delving into other worlds that were so much better than the one I lived in and without little sisters.


Now there are Kindles. I curse Kindles. Oh goodie you don't have to lug books around.
Oprah was actually whining about how her books were so heavy to drag to the beach.
Gee, lifting something other than a fork may do a body good. (meow...bad margaret)


Honestly so you put them in a canvas bag like the rest of us trotting off to the beach with a few good reads. I don't want to hold a plastic thingy to read. There is no great book smell except the smell of plastic. They claim you can highlight. I don't often have a need but I can see how kids in school/college would - but gee aren't there yellow highlighters out there for just this purpose? You know how heavy those damn yellow highlighter pens are to lug around. Can't be putting that in my canvas bag with my books it may just be the extra ounce that will pull my arm! Tear a rotator cuff or God forbid burn a calorie or two.
Oprah wants strong Michelle Obama arms? Trying carrying your own books then woman!


Apparently it was announced this week that it is now necessary for a bigger Kindle .
Oh goodie a bigger plastic gizmo that one must haul around. (bigger memory)
Oh I hope it's not too heavy Oprah to take to her Hawaiian beach.


It's brighter so you don't have to turn on the lights. Going Green - saving electricity!
It comes with a great new keyboard. Yipee. I love to type while reading.
It stated in the article that you can also get new big earphones so you can read in private .
Gee I have never needed earphones to read privately but hey that's just little old fashioned me. I guess I really needed those earphones but it appears that I was just too damn stupid to know I needed them.
I do think if you are blind this may be a very handy dandy piece of plastic. It can read to you....in a very robotic voice it states but no pesky need to read. So who needs to learn braille or the written word?


I am guessing that like my last post everyone is so weak from hunger that they can no longer hold up a book so having a robotic voice read to them is comforting. Seriously it's so much better to hold a cold piece of lightweight plastic of 10+ ounces than hold a book . C'mon they say the average book weighs 12 ounces. I could pull a muscle or strain something!


And all that page turning. Let me tell you -picking up your arm and making that sweeping gesture can be so difficult after 4 hours at the gym. There is only so much one can do - first you want me to hold a book, then turn the friggin page - and then read it with my own eyes. what the hell do you think I am?


So tuck your kids in bed and use the glow of the Kindle as a night light.
Turn on your Kindle to your favorite story for the kiddies and let some robot read them to sleep. It's so incredibly comforting!

Signed,
Snarky Margaret

I scream, We all scream for Ice Cream!!

We need more Rhoda Morgenstern’s in life.

Have you notice how everyone is blonde and skinny these days? Even Asian girls are dying their hair blonde? Holy shit that must be high maintenance! I just don’t have the stamina for all that up keep. I am lucky that I can wash away my gray’s every once in awhile.

Growing up there was Mary Richards and Rhoda Morgenstern. (MTM and Valerie Harper) There was Bette Midler and there was Diana Ross.
There was Goldie Hawn and there was Jane Fonda.
All of these women were different from one another big time even though in the same given field. Yet all wildly successful. Each brought their own unique talent to their chosen career.

Some of these women were “broads” in the true and most positive sense of the word.
I like being a broad. I like that distinction. There are no more broads these days.

There are air heads and fame whores to be sure.
All dressed alike and all dying for a piece of bread or a delicious carb.
Everyone is working desperately to look like everyone else…..a stick with a big head.

It’s like they are screaming…..”Look at Me! Look at Me!” I’m starving over here so damn it “Give Me All Your Attention!” “I need attention!!”

I am glad that I got to hear and see Rosemary Clooney. Today she wouldn’t get a record contract because she did not fit the new mold. She wasn’t dumb, she wasn’t a fame whore and she liked a potato every now and then.

We have fat men singer and actors, but we forgive them. They still are hireable.

But for some reason women do this to ourselves.

We need to make the change….the men will follow.

So stop screaming at me that men don’t like women with curves.

I don’t recall Marilyn Monroe or Cindy Crawford for that matter having a problem in that area. Marilyn today would be a plus size model. Cindy wasn’t skinny either. In Cindy’s hayday she never looked like she missed a meal. She was healthy. Same goes for Christie Brinkley.

My husband saw a picture of Kelly Ripa recently in a bikini. He pointed out to me how dreadful she looked. Now you are thinking to yourself, dreadful? My God she is gorgeous. But here we have yet another woman who is truly a stick, not naturally blonde by any means and has the arms of someone in a concentration camp and the tummy of a young high school boy who is starving to make weight on the wrestling team.
When did this become attractive my husband asked me? I, of course, laughed it off.
But it did get me to start thinking about this…..when did having having arms that show all your veins, bones and muscle groups become attractive?

I recently saw some pictures in a new book of men, women and children in a concentration camp and I was startled at the bodies. It filled me with pain. The look in their eyes, the suffering and the hunger were so hard to bear for me. Then I say Madonna’s arms in a paparazzi shot the same day. No difference. Except she chooses to look like that. What is wrong with us that we have now chosen that look as a look of success?

And honestly if she wants to look like that fine….but don’t do it because you have a fear of being 50 + or because society says you are invisible if you have an extra 15lbs of flesh or because you fear your career if you don’t look like all the other emaciated 12 year old blonde bodies vying for the same position.

Don’t get me wrong I am not looking to go back to the ages or cultures that believed that being overweight is considered powerful and wealthy. It was used at that time to show you have money and were successful. I don’t want to see fat or obese come into fashion. But I don’t understand how we got here. It’s sick, it really is sick.

A few weeks ago there was a model who was 6’ tall and she was 117lbs. She was on Good Morning America and all the tv shows proclaiming she didn’t have an eating disorder. They showed her in a bikini. You could count her ribs, tap morse code on her hips bones and basically use her as a walking skeleton for biology classes.
If you take off the sash, the bikini and makeup and put her in a National Geographic Magazine back drop everyone would be sending her food and money to eat. But because she is in America we celebrate her starving herself to be the weight of a woman who is half her height.

It should be okay to have varying shapes, colors and sizes in America. It really should be what we strive for. We do not need to be identical unless of course you are a twin. I liked that my grandmother was soft in the middle….all the better to hug her. I loved that my Dad had big forearms like Popeye and it didn’t matter to me that he was short. I loved that my Mom had a great set of legs….I didn’t care that she was considered too thin back in her day….I cared that she died too early.

Some are born just naturally blonde and thin. They too shouldn’t be punished.
But neither should the brunette who has a bigger bottom like most of the women in her family. It’s really okay to be different….now let’s go celebrate our differences and have some ice cream!

Life

My life has been spinning and not in a good way.
A way that seems like I've had too much tequila and the room is spinning kind of way.

Where did we leave off?
Oh yea, doggie mode. Well the new puppy will be here in a few weeks. She's cute as hell as her picture shows you. I can't wait. She isn't ready to come home until the 26th of this month. Then they are keeping her to train her for 4 weeks.
We have a week off and are heading to the Bahama's and we will pick her up after that trip.

Work has been busy and we've had some doozy customers of late.
What makes someone call YOU for a service and then immediatly are rude and combative.
Amazing to me. Karma will get 'em.

Went to the shore this past weekend. It made me happy to have our lake home. The traffic, the noise, the crowds - all of it was not my idea of a relaxing weekend at the shore.

Rick was asked to do a job for someone who owns a home at the shore. We said no and he kept throwing money at him and we kept saying, NO that it wasn't about money. It is a 3 hr drive one way and we don't go there. He called back again and said we could spend the weekend at his home and gave us a link to view it and the rest is history.

We envisioned a quiet off season weekend. It was warm (low 70's) and we thought we would be able to enjoy some wine and surf and have a nice dinner out etc. Play tourist kind of thing without the tourists. Boy were we wrong.

We got there late Friday and Rick reglazed the tub and tile surround. At 7ish he was finished and he got cleaned up and we went to catch some dinner.
Now back in my 30's a tourist trap was fun to me. The over crowding of all places. The millions of people. The 3 hr wait for a table for dinner and the t-shirt shops galore. But not so much anymore.
Imagine if it was like this in off season what it will be like come summer?!!!

After dinner we went back to the house.
It was a cute little house and only a block to the ocean so a very nice location.
We walked down to the ocean after dinner to walk off dinner and it was really nice.
When we got back to the house we decided to get ready for bed.
There was only 1 bedroom with a bed bigger than a twin size. All the other beds were either bunk beds or twin beds and neither of us noticed the size of this bed.

We came in and plopped our suitcased down on it and went about our day. There were so many pillows on the bed that I, nor Rick, realized the size of the bed.
Now here we were ready for bed & realized that once we took off the dozen or so pillows it was a teeny tiny bed.

Now normally for me that isn't a big issue. All 5' 2" of me has no problems with a short bed.
But dear ole hubby is 6'2" and it was an issue all night that became mine as well.
The bed was so small Rick’s leg hung over the bed from mid calf down. It was lumpy, bumpy and most uncomfortable. While my legs did not even hit the end of the bed it was an issue for me when this 6’2” lug next to me is going diagonal on me.

It was a double bed. Not even a queen. It was a fitful evening so I ended up going to one of the twins sometime during the night…..I then felt like I was on a thin mattress and felt the pea underneath. I got up and moved to the other twin across the room and it was no better. I felt like I was in the Three Bears fairy tale trying all the beds. I couldn't sleep on this.
I finally got up at 4am and stayed up and watched a MASH marathon for God’s sake!

By 6am Rick was up and said, “Let’s get the hell out of here” So we gathered our things, showered and left. The shower was a hoot. The big shower Rick has just done the tub and tile surround so it could not be used. The other shower was so small that only I could fit into. Rick was taller than the shower and his head was above the shower door and even funnier is that he could not turn around.

We laughed our asses off about this because at this point what else can you do but see the humor in it right? First the bed now the shower.
I was brushing my teeth when all of a sudden I see him get out of the shower so that he could turn around and back in and wash that side! Honestly we couldn’t stop laughing. We imagine the home owners are possibly little people or as Rick said that morning, “circus people” I am even laughing as I write this it was so funny to me – well, at least if you weren’t trying to sleep it was funny.

So we headed home by 8am – stopped at a coffee house and hit the road. We were home before noon. That night we got into our bed and were happy to have room and be encased in our tempur pedic.

My God when did we get so old?

C'mon does it get any cuter than this?

Doggie Drama

As I said in a previous post a few weeks ago my husband and I have decided to adopt a Labrador Retriever. My hubby has had quite a few Lab's. He loves their dispositions and traits. We wanted a dock dog who would love jumping into the water and fetching....like this.

I have never had a Lab but we would dog sit our neighbors and I saw quickly how easy it is to fall in love with a Lab. They are such people pleasing dogs.

We thought that we would go to Lab Rescue. On paper rescuing a Lab dog from an awful fate sounded like a great idea. We thought we would be over the puppy hyper stage and be into the adult dog phase. We knew that an adult dog that needed rescuing would have it's own whole new set of problems but we thought we could handle that.

So we waited and waited by the phone to hear from one of the 2 Lab Rescue Groups to call us and say we have been approved. Finally last week we got a call. After several hours of discussions of what we were looking for that would be a good fit for our family we were told of 2 dogs. We were also supposedly told of their personalities and issues. We saw pictures and we decided to go with the female yellow Lab named Custard. She was at a foster family and we were to go see her and pick her up on Sunday at noon.

We arrived a bit early because well, we were excited to meet our new family member.

We were taken to a side yard of gravel and when the foster mom opened the side door 8 dogs came out. The smallest was Custard. These dogs were jumping on us and all vying for our attention and love at once. (red flag #1)

Custard came over to me immediately and started to lick me and of course I melted. But to me she didn't look like a Lab. (flag 2) I asked if she was a Lab and the foster mom said, "I think she may have some golden retriever in her." Hmmm.....she looked more like a hound dog and lab mix to me. But what do I know when I can't even get this poor dog alone.

We never could get any one on one with her. We were surrounded by dogs. The foster mom did nothing to assist us either with pulling her other dogs away. (flag 3) We asked questions and she didn't seem to know much which to me was a red flag number 4. How can she not know this stuff? My husband by this time was already in love. I was thinking we should go home alone and think about this or go see dog number 2.

We were told Custard liked to go to the garbage can and eat so we had to be sure it was kept locked up or away from the dog. She was an abandoned dog and this was her way of getting food for a long time so once she realizes that meals will be regular she will stop this habit. (oh God, I was picturing Marley!) We were told that she had her shots, was spayed, had a clean bill of health from the vet and were given her records. Rick wanted to take her home. So we did without further examination or play and against my better judgement.

There goes my husband again quickly falling for a blonde!

As soon as we got her in the house she peed on my expensive wool dining room carpet. I laughed and said, "we're home!" But she was excited and it was a new place to her so I figured it was to be expected. She had never been on a leash so we thought we better get started on that and go for a walk.

We put on her leash and we tried to go for a walk. OH MY GOD. It was everything you thought it would be. I had Rick take the reigns. She got better after the 5th walk so we knew we were on the right track.

We wanted a more mellow lab but this was ridiculous. She did not do anything let alone fetch. (flag 5 )

Come to see that her teeth were mere nubs. Probably from living on the streets eating cans to get to food or God knows what. She had a K-9 broken off to a nub as well. This dog did not fetch because she couldn't. She liked to lay and be loved. Lay around all the time 24/7 was her favorite thing to do. (flag 6) She also had other medical issues. We noticed that if we touched her right hind quarters she would wince. (flag 7)

We live on water 1/2 the time so a water dog was essential to us. She won't go near water and if she is close that caused trauma. (red flag # 8) We took her to a pond near our townhome and all I can say is - Oh boy this wasn't good!! For any of us. If we threw a tennis ball she would lift her head and look at it and then put her head back down. All the while never even getting up. (flag 9)

We live in a townhome with 3 floors when not at our lake home. That first night we went up to the tv room on the 3rd floor to hunker down in the theatre seats to watch some TV. We noticed she had a very difficult time going up the steps. She was in pain. (flag 10)

On the way down the steps to go to the 2nd floor to bed she almost lost it on the 2nd step. She put her front paws out and caught herself and then wouldn't go any further down the steps no matter how much we tried. So we picked her up and brought her to her new bed in our bedroom.

She would never get anywhere near her bed. We tried to put her there and she would run the other way cowering as though we were going to yell or punish her. We thought perhaps that was because a previous owner did punish her if she went on furniture so now she was afraid to even use a doggie bed.

We picked Custard up at noon and honestly by 2pm we knew this dog was not a good fit. But my God we were in love. She was the sweetest dog we have ever been around. She wanted lots of affection and would give lots - if you came to her. She didn't move much and while we were told she was 5 she appeared to be a lot older. Not in looks but by her personality. Perhaps from her hard life? I knew by that evening that this dog was not going to stay with us. She can't go up and down our stairs. What will happen when we get to the lake house on the weekend? We have steps there and we have a backyard of water which would cause severe trauma.

Oh we were so upset about all of this.

First it was our fault to take her so quickly. We should have demanded to have alone time with her. They tell you that if you like them take them immediatly becuase someone else could scoop 'em up. You know the ole fear factor of our last administration!

2nd it was unfair to be told this was a good match when we had to jump through hoops to explain our wants in a dog and our qualification to get a dog and they not listening to any of it. Knowing that this dog was going back to her foster family was breaking my heart.

When I laid my head down on the pillow I looked at her sleeping on my side of the bed and I was so damn sad. Aah, but a few hours later I awoke and she was not there. I was concerned so I got up thinking she may be in the hall - Nope. I went down stairs first and turned on the light. Well at least I was thinking as I was groggily going down the steps that she went up or down steps wherever she is.

There she was with the pantry door open and the garbage can and all it's contents sprawled all over our maghoney kitchen floors. As I yelled - No Custard, she got up and looked at me with her sad eyes and cowered away. She knew this was wrong. This of course made my hubby wake up. We put her out on the enclosed patio while we cleaned up the coffee grounds and other fun and assorted garbage all over the kitchen.

Rick and I were on our knees and he said, "Does it make you feel any better now that she is going back in a few hours?" Honestly it did not. This poor thing that is so loving was abandoned and I feel like I'm doing the same thing to her. So instead of it making me feel better I just had another good cry!

The following morning was heart wrenching for us both. I know logically this was not a good fit and was the right thing to do. She can't do the steps and we can't have a dog like that or one who doesn't move. Logically I knew, emotionally was another story!

I did call the volunteer and told her everything. This dog needs medical care. I asked if she knew that she had a problem with steps. Imagine my surprise when she said, "No I haven't met this dog yet and I was going by what the foster mom said and that was never mentioned." Gee maybe if she spent some one on one time with the dog she'd know. She has 8 dogs a shit load of cats and horses. C'mon! This is not a good foster parent for this dog. When I asked about lab traits she passive agressively said, "well imagine that, we take a lot of dogs that aren't labs" Then call yourself Dog Rescue not Lab Rescue.

At this point I was livid. I said, "This dog needs to be with a family that doesn't want to play but a companion, perhaps some seniors, someone that lives in a 1 level home and that will just love and adore this sweet thing and give her structure and love and lots of both."

For several days we were a wreck. We hear that she is going to be at an adoption event at PetsMart this weekend and that there is a senior couple coming to see her. I hope this dog gets a wonderful home with them. They will not have to worry about running, jumping or any type of play other than rubbing her belly and loving her.

But my beef is with Lab Rescue. We went there for a lab number 1 and to recuse one from being euthanized. They should do a better job of matching people since they make you go through all this stuff anyway. This should never have happened if they had spent time with the dog and had matched her properly with the right family.

This was a big emotional lesson to learn.....for Custard as well as Rick and me.

So after several days we decided to get a pup after all. It took us a long time to find the right breeder. We did not want a puppy mill dog. We actually found this breeder prior to the rescue process but thought that a pup would be too much for us. Not now. We will take our little pup home on June 11th and I can't wait. They are ready at 8 weeks to go home but we are having them train her for 4 weeks. With us going down there for some of that training as well. This is a picture of a sibling from last year by the same parents. Cute isn't she?

Our new pup will be a girl and her name is Izzy. I'll post pictures as soon as I get them. I will get them next week.

Sit or Squat

As many of you know my husband knows every damn bathroom from our home in Virginia up to Maryland. Poor man has issues.

As other posts have noted, he carries toilet paper with him so a man who carries his own Charmin in his vehicle needs this website.

I came across this today and I literally burst out laughing. I am in my office all alone and I laughed out loud. Honestly if I had my dog already I would have scared her!

http://www.sitorsquat.com/sitorsquat/home

This is just the funniest damn thing to me. He may not need it around here but when he's out of town this could come in handy. Have it sent to your cell phone or PDA.....you never know.

Hey if you remember the blog on May 27th you'll see how he could have used that sucker on that day!

Happy sitting.....or squating.

Adoption

We have decided that we are ready for a dog. Not a puppy but a dog.

When we both traveled all week in our careers we felt having a dog wouldn't make sense when we are never home. So now that I work from home all day and hubby is home every night we decided it was time to get that dog we wanted.

We both want a labrador retreiver. I prefer chocolate labs but hubby really wants yellow. And to be honest the yellow lab's shedding would show less around our home than the chocolate so that is okay by me. I am anal retentive about my house so I will have to let go of a lot I see.

We decided that a puppy would be a full time job right now that I just don't have the time for so we went with Lab Rescue to find our dog. We found the dog we would love to have live with us on their website. We read all about her and she sounds perfect. She's cute as well. She is medium in energy, she is 3.5 yrs old and to we old farts that is a good thing.

We don't even have the dog but we have discussed how the chores will be split with us.

I will not under any circumstances pick up steaming hot poo. Just won't do it. In our neighborhood you must pick up your dogs pile of steaming hot poo or there will be hell to pay.

There are containers and bags all over the place to dispose of it but that doesn't mean I want to put that bag on my hand and pick it up. My hubby said he would buy me a scooper and I can live with that.

We filled out the MULTI page application and sent it in.

But quite frankly I fear this process would be much easier if we were trying to adopt a human baby!!!

Our next step is to be interviewed by phone. Then they have us come to their place and interact with the dog while they monitor us. I guess if they think for a minute that I will turn into Cruella De Vil then no doggie for me!

If we pass the interaction phase with the dog then we get a home visit for them to check out our home and if it's adequate for a dog. Okay this step kills me. Dogs drink from toilets. They don't care where we live. They want and need love, exercise and structure like a child. Does it really matter if I don't live in a mansion? Does it really matter if I am in a single familiy home or an apartment, a condo or a townhome? Do you think this dog really gives a hoot how much money I make in a year or if I love him and feed him and play with him?

If my house were on wheels would I not be allowed to have a dog? I don't have much of a yard living in a townhome so will that exclude me from adopting? Our yard may not be big but we will walk him and play at the park etc. On weekends we will take him to our lake home with an acre of land and lots of water for a lab to play in? What the hell are they looking for is what is puzzling me?

Anyway after all this they will check our references. Honestly this all could take 6 -8 weeks they tell us. 6 -8 weeks to adopt a dog seems crazy to me. I must say I am surprised that we didn't have to give them blood or have a blood test because I really feel this has been a bit intrusive and ridiculous.

I bet Michael Vick would have passed and look where that got his poor dogs?

Friends.....or are they?

Making friends when you get older becomes a lot more difficult than say, high school or college.
Working from home and being self employed doesn't lend itself to seeking out new friends easily.

I no longer have little ones at home so I can't meet new friends at the mommy and me play dates or soccer games.

I suppose that the word friend means something different to everyone.

Just the other day when I was lamenting about a "friend" my husband pointed out to me that friendship should be cultivated like any relationship and both parties should work at it.
Would I tolerate the behavior I was complaining to him about about if it came from him?

Gee, I thought that was a good question. The answer was a big fat NO.
If my husband didn't work on our relationship, respect it or nuture it I would clearly see we had issues and not a good relationship. And I sure as hell wouldn't tolerate that behavior without saying something. Thankfully he's not like that.
And he is right to ask me this, why do I take it from "friends"?

As you grow up sometimes your lives go in different directions. I had a great friend who was on the mommy track as I was on the career track. But that didn't stop either of us from remaining friends. I was just as involved in her life and she was in mine. We couldn't have been more different and yet we always made time for one another, called each other, celebrated our successes and shared the ice cream in our sadness and disappointments. That is a friend.
She is still my friend. And honestly since high school we don't have a damn thing in common except our friendship. But it works and we both work at it.

I made friends with a woman 9 years ago. Then she went into Mommy mode and has no time for me. I don't get that.
I found time for her when she would call and I was working 60 hour weeks traveling all over America for my job. She needed something I was there. She doesn't have time to cook I bring over a crockpot of food. You need to nap, I'll watch the kids. I offer. I am finding that is the difference.
I really do understand being overwhelmed with 2 kids and all that encompasses. I saw it with my friend I mentioned above. But this woman finds time to send me stupid email jokes, to solicit me in emails for products she is selling, but has no time to respond to an email of substance or a phone call. She claims she is too busy to use the phone when I ask why didn't you call back to let me know if we were still doing such and such. We make plans and she doesn't respond or show up. She complains she doesn't get to see me but I am the only one doing the reaching out.
Is that really a friend? Or is this a self indulgant person who has no regard for anyone else? I believe that was a rhetorical question.

Then there are the friends that you spend time with now out of habit that you realize you wouldn't even pick as a friend today. That just happened recently. We were having cocktails and I was listening to this person's story and what was actually going through my head was this..... "Oh my God you are not a nice person. When did this happen or were you always this way but I ignored it? You are a homophobic bigoted asshole, why are you in my house? Why am I friends with you, I don't even think I even like you."

After the person left I felt horrible. I felt extremely sad, I felt emotions I can't even articulate. Was I in a type of mourning? I wondered why I never noticed these traits or did I possibly just ignore them? I wondered how that could be? Could this person have just changed during our lapses in time of seeing one another? Or was it there all along?

Your thoughts?

Snowmen

Saturday night we got a dusting of snow. I say a dusting because I grew up in Snow Country. Where 120-150 inches a year was no big deal and life NEVER stopped because of it.
A dusting because if you made a snow ball you'd get leaves and dirt and debris - so it wasn't much.

We went to our neighbors home and had a few drinks and laughs and then we left around midnight.

Sunday morning we were lying on the couch trying to regroup. We old farts take a bit longer to get moving the morning after drinking or staying up late. And sadly midnight is late for us.
Suddenly we heard a big thud on our front door.
We heard some giggling and just figured it was kids outside messing around. We thought it was just a snowball thrown at our door or that just hit our door because they missed their target.

But my nosey husband couldn't let it go. He got up and thought he'd check it out.
He looked out the window and saw nothing. He opened the front door and burst into laughter.

He yelled, "Margaret, you have got to come see this."
"Oh Rick are there people out front because I am still in my p.j.'s"
"No just come to the front door would you please?"

I go to the front door and this is what I see.

Okay this was funny!

We have no idea who did this. We were convinced it was our neighbors. So Rick took off the male genitalia and made it a woman. Yep accurately a woman with big old snow boobs with nipples. He picked it up and ran over and put it on our neighbors porch, rang the doorbell and ran. Okay we are old but not mature.

They called us and were laughing and thought Rick needed a new hobby. We realized they didn't do this. So we contacted the neighbors on the other side of us thinking they would be the only other ones who could possibly have done this. But we kind of doubted it because they have a 7 year old daughter. They thought it was quote, "Flipping Hilarious" but as they said, "they weren't that creative."

So fast forward to later in the day and I was in my office. I heard kids outside and I looked at the young boys. I opened the window thinking they may have been the pranksters and I heard them say, "How did it get on this guy's porch? (pointing to our neighbor) " Honestly it had a penis and nuts." They were laughing and trying to convince a kid that it had been changed.

So I now knew who did it. The kids were between 14-16 years old. Never have seen any of them before so I know they don't live close by. I yelled out the window, "Hey boys that was REALLY FUNNY, WE LOVED IT." They froze for a minute with sheer terror on their faces and then ran like hell. Honestly we were not even close to being mad - we thought it was funny. It didn't harm any property or person. It was just a prank that kids do that was harmless. I like harmless. Now would I have been so thrilled if I had a small kid - probably not but I know Rick and I would have still found it funny but have destroyed it before the kids saw it.

But why our house? I know the lady who is 78 and lives 2 doors down would not have found it funny so it was a good thing it was on our doorstep. Why do all these things happen to us?
Guess they knew their targets even though we didn't know them.

American Idol Time is Here Again

It's that time of year again.
So far I am liking 3 of them that have been chosen for the top 12.
By far my favorite is Adam Lambert. The kid has range that is amazing!
But anything can change by the end of the season.

I have seen some other videos of him singing and I just think he is amazing.
Now the young girls are going to LOVE him....he's apparently gay but hell he is damn gorgeous and that didn't stop all the females from loving Clay Aiken or that David kid from last year! (but why they did i'll never know)

This kid has some serious talent!
Personally I LOVE his hair style and would love to have that cut myself.

If you haven't checked him out on youtube you really should. I honestly don't think any of the current crop can even come close to him. But then again, we all know this isn't about who is the best on this show now is it? But I hope this does get him a recording contract or Broadway or both.

And the looks run in the family.....his Dad ain't so bad either!...tee hee

Last night I said to Rick, "My God he is a yummy little thing isn' t he?"
Rick said, "whoa old woman you could be his mother"
"Yes, I could but I can appreciate how damn good he is and that great talent."
"Something tells me Margaret the word "yummy" wasn't about his great voice."
Busted.

Spring...Oh where or where have you gone?

Normally by my birthday (less than a week away) I have tulips poking their heads out of the dirt on my back patio, buds on my azelea bushes and my Japanese maple starting to change from red to green. But this year it all sucks....still cold and no pretty flowers to be seen.

I have lived in this city since fall of 1997. I have never seen such a cold winter or such a long one. I long for spring.

My boys of summer have started spring training and have begun to play games. So far they look great. Won both games easily. Against the reigning world series champs and the Blue Jays. Not that spring games mean all that much really. But I think that it will be a pretty good year. I am the eternal optimist when it comes my boys in pinstripes..

Our business is booming and a realtor today told me yesterday that her business has really picked up and she has sold more homes in February than in the last part of last year. So that was great news. Now if only we can get the media to pick up that kind of information instead of reporting only doom and gloom. There are a lot of positive stories out there that just aren't being reported.

I am going to go make a positive story....it includes Tanqueray and tonic.

Shallow Musing from the Academy Awards

I watched the Academy Awards last night as did most of America.
I even saw some of Barbara Walters pre-Oscar show.
Okay truth be told I skipped the whole Jonas Brothers because really who gives a rat's ass about teeny boopers who try to tell me they are virgins.
You know what I say to that?
"Hey I look just like Angelina Jolie" C'mon it's about as believeable.

As you know from reading my blog I so wanted Sean Penn to win Best Actor.
I thought for sure Mickey Rourke would be the sentimental favorite. And if not then possibly Frank Langella would win because he was pretty damn good as well.
But Sean won! Yipee.
Robert DeNiro's introduction of Sean I thought was priceless and true.

Now for the really shallow shit.......

Meryl Streep looked like a hag. She really must start treating herself better. The bodice of her dress did not fit well and it looked like she was missing breasts. She always tries to play off dressing well with insipid comments like, "It was comfortable so I just threw it on" PLEASE. It doesn't mean we can't take you serious if you look nice. You don't need to look like some 80 yr old blind woman dressed you. They GIVE you these dresses you aren't paying for them. So dress that good figure you have woman!

Halle Berry is truly the most genetically gifted woman to walk the face of the earth

Sophia Loren was laughable. Her dress looked like a horrible prom dress from the 70's. Again a woman with a knock out body but you don't notice that. You noticed that her dress was from 1978 as well as her hair and glasses. She thought she looked good in that era and has stayed there. Come on over to the 21st century. She's in her 70's and she could be rockin'

Goldie Hawn's face lift saddened me. She used to have these big round eyes. Now she looks Asian. Wrinkles look better dear.

Who knew Anne Hathaway could sing like that? Wow to be that talented and look that good. She must have something wrong with her. I am going to assume she has really ugly feet or back hair because it's not fair to have it all like that. (hear that Halle Berry?)

Hugh Jackman is a doll. Like Anne Hathawy he is good looking, wears his clothes well, can act, sing and dance. And he isn't a shrimp like all those other actor boys!

I thought Ben Stiller’s impersonation of Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman was a hoot. But did the world get that? Hell, I doubt most of America got that joke.

And you thought you had to watch E's Fashion Police to get all these good fashion tips.

New Way to Vacation at the Lake

My husband and I traveled a great deal in the past for our careers.
We would see each other on Monday and then off we'd go to various cities that we had to for our respective businesses.

I remember a time when I was sitting in my hotel room eating yet another chicken casear salad and working on my laptop when I decided to call him. I asked him. "What city are you in again?". I could never keep it straight. Always followed by, "when will you be home?" Love on the phone isn't what it's cracked up to be.

We couldn't wait for the weekends to be home.
Home meant a million things to us at that time.
It meant slowing down. No constant running to be somewhere.
It meant our own comfortable bed vs a hotel bed.
It meant eating a home cooked meal.
It meant no airports, taxi's and strangers.
It meant just being together in the same city and space.
It meant doing nothing!


When we would get the chance to run to our lake house all we wanted to do was be.
We loved sitting on a floating chair in the water with our favorite beverage.
Taking lesurely boat rides. Sipping wine on the deck overlooking the water was a wonderful evening. Just lazy warm days of nothing and being together. No running around, eating out, dealing with crowds etc.

It posed a problem when friends or family would visit.
All they ever wanted to do was run, run, run.
If something wasn't planned they were antsy.
"Are there bars close by?
"Where are the good resaurants? "
"Is there a movie theatre?"
"Any good beach bars?"

To us we had a bar in the game room, we had everything we needed right here so we didn't get it. The idea of running around and hanging at a bar on the water just didn't appeal to us so much. Tuesday through Friday we were at hotels, airports, restaurants, hotel bars etc. Runing to make a flight, running to get a taxi, standing in lines and just general horrors of travel.

Then it occured to use that the friends and family who are visiting us never go anywhere.
They go to work, they come home. Their life is slower so a vacation of fun to them is running around and seeing everything and going, going, going.
We, on the other, do nothing but go, go, go so a great vacation to us is to relax.
So we would take them everywhere and run around so their trip was fun for them.
But it made us hate our vacation because of it.

Now we are local. We go to work, we come home.
We eat at home now more than we ever eat out. So now going to the lake is so different.
Trust me we can still do nothing and enjoy it. But we can also now go and enjoy visiting a winery, finding a new waterfront restaurant, going to the movies, and finding all kinds of fun new places to explore.


So this year we are looking forward to all the company in a way we never have before.
Can't wait to see ya'll.

From a Service Point of View

When I was in the corporate world I was a senior sales executive and contract negotiator.
I had to read people all the time.
Over the years I had several training seminars and classes on personality types and how to sell to them or how to work with them.
I learned how to hone that skill and I found it very useful in my social settings as well.

Some people you have to listen to their body more than their words.
Some people have a way of saying one thing and meaning another and you have to learn how to read this. I am great at reading tells in poker but I don't like to play cards.
I have tried to teach this to Rick because he does love to play poker.
But that is multi-tasking to him. He can't do it.
But boy while I watch him I so wish I could help him because that is truly my only talent. 

Here is one that never fails....never.
The higher the voice the bigger the lie.
Now I don't mean if someone has a higher than normal voice they are big fat liars.
No, not at all.
I mean that if you are talking to someone and their voice goes up a noticeable amount the truth is not being shared here. I worked with a woman who did this all the time.
Her favorite line was, "I don't know what you mean?"
By the time the conversation got to this "high" point only dogs could hear her.
She was very easy to read. Try it next time, you'll see what I mean.
Of course, I never called her on this because she would just lie some more, but it helped me to know that she was lying and I would work it out accordingly.

When I met one of my husband's former bosses I knew immediately the type of guy he was. The first clue was that he had to stand close to speak with me so he was looking down on me.
He was at least 1 1/2 feet taller than me. If I moved back to look straight at him he would get closer so he was looking down and I would have to look up to him. I drove him nuts moving until I asked him if he could give me some space. 
I knew this game. I have read these types before.
He always needed to feel like he was in a place of power.
Because this was not a work setting for me I wasn't allowing him to get away with this.
I knew right then he was a terribly insecure man and when my husband had issues with him he and I would discuss what I had learned on how to deal with that type.
It worked like a charm for my husband and he couldn’t believe once he knew these things how much easier it was with handling all the personality types in the office.

When I left the corporate world to work within my husband’s new business I never thought I would use those skills again or at least not as often. But boy was I ever wrong!

But what is different from my old sales career is the personality types from a service point of view.

There are several distinct personalities who call for our services.
After answering these phones for the last few years I have learned a great deal about the people who call. It helps immensely on how to sell to them as well as what information to go over in detail and what to gloss over. Some people work best with little info and some need way too much.

Because people call several times and we speak a great deal before the actual job is done for them I get a “feel” for them. I have a mental picture of what they look like as well as feel as though I know a lot about them.

At first, this was a fun game.
I would tell my husband what I thought his first appointment would look like and he would return and say whether I was spot on or not even close. I have been spot on 99% of the time. Rick seems to get a real kick out of it. I must admit it does in some small twisted way become a bit fun for me through the course of my day.

Then my little game progressed to what they do for a living. It has become very easy for me to figure out. I can nail this one. Here are some of the personality types and the questions they ask me, don’t ask me, or how they treat me….which is very telling.

Gender – No matter where they fall the differences between the sexes is very big.
Women will generally have a lot of questions in comparison to men.
Women buy because they like the service, liked me, liked what button I pushed etc.
If I hear the kids screaming in the background I know they will want to talk about the effects on a child etc.
Men ask price – now when can you do it. Period. End of story. The mind is made up.
Women ask everything and will mull over and then call yet again. This will take several calls before booking with women.

Full-time Mommy – This woman will give you so much more than you need to know.
She wants to talk to another adult and it is sadly apparent. Her number 1 concern about the job is how this will affect the baby/kids. Will this be toxic? Should she have them wrapped in bubble wrap while we are there? Would it be best if they move out of their home for a week? (Seriously I was asked this) Never a question of price, process or warranty only babies, babies, babies.

Pompous  Man – This guy thinks he knows everything. 
Mr. Machismo is my name for him. He is generally over 50 or older.
I am just the little woman who answers the phone and he makes damn sure he tells me so in one way or another. He will always ask to speak to a MAN but since I tell him no man is available he reminds me that I am inferior by a snort or a comment. He shares with me that he has read everything there is to know about this on the internet so no need to share that info with him. He'd do it himself if he wasn’t so important. He makes sure to let me know with his sighing etc that he barely has the time to give me his name and address so we can show up. He talks fast and again makes sure to remind me before we hang up that I am just a woman and he is oh so very important. 
This type heterosexual guy is sadly abundant and I think if they were double jointed and could give themselves fellatio they would never leave the house or speak to a woman again.

Government Employees – Living here in DC Metro makes us have a lot of these folks. They always ask to have the work done on a federal holiday or on a Friday when they telecommute. They don’t care about the details only ask about the cost so they can put it on their spreadsheet. They also don't expect this to be done quickly like civilians. They are government employees they know how long it takes to get anything done. They are more patient than others when I tell them I can't get them on the schedule for 2 weeks.

Military Personnel – I love these men and women. They are polite and call me ma’am.
They ask questions and listen to the answers. When I go through what they need to do prior to our arrival they thank me for the time I have given them and they do as requested. They are the only ones who complete what is necessary, who thank us, and who are truly a joy to work with.

Techies – They have read our website from beginning to end and will only discuss through emails. They always compliment me on the great website. The phone apparently frightens them. They will take a week to correspond with me on details via email when it could be done with a 10-minute phone call. Websites and emails mean more to them than social skills so picking up the phone and actually having a conversation is unthinkable. When I ask for a daytime phone number for contact they say they only text. I imagine them as pasty figures who never see the sun. They email me all hours of the day and night which proves they have no life, social or otherwise. They seem skittish to me. If I leaned in it would frighten them I am certain.

Over 70– These folks are the only ones who are polite on the phone but the rest of the things they say are amazingly out of touch.
They call and are so confused about everything. 
Now here is the thing. I'm getting older and I fear I will be like this too. 
Everything needs to be explained over and over again.
They always whisper, “Does he speak English?” like whispering this politically incorrect statement makes it better. I don’t mind them at all because they do make me laugh and while they appear to be confused they are generally nice. Sadly nice is rare. I look at this group as my grandparents even though most aren't that much older than me.

Young Arrogant Guy – This is always a guy who tells me about all the homes or properties he has. He is either a flipper or a landlord and never over 34. One guy told me he had all this property and by the way, they are paid for. Why do I care I wanted to ask but just said, "that's nice" like I cared. Always wants it for the cheap because you know he has a big car payment -those Mercedes ain’t cheap. Speaks in fragments and not full sentences to show me what a mover and a shaker he is – he doesn’t have time for full sentences. While on the phone with me I hear him talking to others and I picture him texting, ordering a latte and flirting with the barista who he refers to as sweetie or darlin' all while on the phone with me.  This is him telling me that I am not that important but he sure as hell is.  He never is really listening to anyone but himself talk. He never stops bragging and I should be damn thankful he has taken time out of his day to call us for our services. He will always ask for a break in price and say it in a manner that he thinks I will be so frightened of losing the job that I will succumb to his request. I will never give these types a break like I will others. Never.

Women in Leadership/Powerful Positions – This group fascinates me because they are like men only polite. They are of a “certain age” - baby boomers like myself. They talk fast, don’t want a lot of information, spell out orders at me as though I work for them. Never a question – always a statement proclaimed with perfect diction and enunciation. They could be a bit intimidating if I didn’t realize that they had to be this way to get where they are. They are of that generation. Never rude but never warm. Just the facts ma’am and if they need to speak to us again their assistant always calls.

Cat Lovers – See Full Time Mommy’s but replace babies with cats. The only thing that really gets me is they add cat stories and honestly I want to scream. I never tell them that I am not a fan of cats. Instead, I listen and chuckle when appropriate. I know it's horrible of me - please don't send me hate mail. Dog people never talk to me about their dogs. Is this karma because of my phobia of cats?

Smokers – This group fascinates the hell out of me.
They always, and I will repeat, always ask about the chemicals used in the process.
They want to know the harmful effects of said chemicals on their lungs.
Stop laughing, they really ask this and don’t see this as odd.
What is even funnier is that all of them ask me this as I hear them puffing away on a cigarette. While I address their concern for their health politely I really want to scream THIS STUFF HAS NOTHING ON THE CARCINOGENS YOU ARE CURRENTLY INGESTING - but I don't of course. Rick actually arrived at a woman’s home where the bathroom tiles had turned yellow from smoke. She had a cigarette lit the entire time he was there and she questioned him repeatedly about the chemicals and the harm they may do to her breathing/health.  Most recently a woman asked about the chemicals because she was concerned about her lungs. She too was smoking when she asked Rick this. He laughed and explained the ventilation done etc and then said to her, "you know it isn't as bad as what is in your hand."  She said, "Oh these are no chemical cigarettes."  
He asked if she was smoking her lawn then? She laughed and said, "No silly they make cigarettes with no chemicals at all - everyone is smoking them now." 
Can’t make this shit up folks. BTW, she decided to move out for 24 hrs because she was afraid this would hurt her lungs.

Realtors – Ooh, these are a special breed. As I have written before they too think they are VIP’s….interestingly enough especially the women. They will ALWAYS tell me that if we do a good job there is so much business they will send our way. Good thing they say that because otherwise, we had no intentions of doing a great job!  It's no surprise to us but it is funny that they ALL say the same thing. Men realtors say the same thing but with less self-importance attached. Both sexes in this field don't appear to be the brightest bulbs in the box. Everything must be explained so many times. They don't listen and they don't understand. They frustrate me. They are very demanding and get very snippy quickly if you can't accommodate them when they feel you should. I had to tell someone we couldn't be there for a week. She literally screamed and about broke my eardrum. When she was finished with her hissy fit I asked her how long it takes to get to in to see her hairdresser. "Oh, at least 3 weeks why?"  So then you understand that one must be patient sometimes to see a professional who is great at their job. She actually said, "oh I see what you mean" And she booked it. How was that not apparent before? There has been only 1 realtor who was both nice and bright and he was the owner of the biggest agency here in the DC Metro area. I wanted to ask why he hires such dimwits, but I resisted since he spends a lot of money on his homes for sale and his flips. 

Interesting stuff isn't it? It is to me anyways.
What is most interesting to me is that this is not random but constant.
Guess we’re not all so different are we?