Snap! of the Bra

Rick has a lot of talents.

He can build things from nothing.

He can play the drums

He can see a drawing of a piece of furniture and then make it.

He can make an enormous mess just by using the salt shaker.

He can build you a deck and addition to your home.

He is blind to dirt, finger prints and dust and by golly that is a gift.

He can make a meal out of nothing when everyone else says there is nothing to eat. (and it tastes great too) 

He can fix your electrical issues.

But - 

He can't make a bed

He can't do plumbing

And he absolutely positively does not listen well.

But he thinks his other 'skill' is taking off a woman's bra with a snap of the fingers like he is just snapping to a tune. (Without the woman feeling it.)

I made the mistake over 35 or so years ago to say, no you can't. 

My bra was unsnapped in a grocery store so fast I ran out. He literally snaps his fingers like Fonzi and it's off.  You don't ever feel a thing until you know it's off.

One Sunday at a family day up at my parents, he said something to me about this and my mother said, "oh, Rick you can not I'd feel it", and instantly her bra was off. 

She felt nothing except her bra was coming off. 

She whipped around so fast to look at him and said, "ooh that was good" as she went into the bathroom to fix her bra. 

She came out of the bathroom and hit him as he deserved and said, "Don't you ever do that again."  Yes Ma'am. 

Not that he ever would. He only did it to her because she said what she did. But we were all laughing. Especially my father.

My father loved it and suggested Rick teach him this because my father would love to learn. That made us all laugh because dad was around 80 at the time. We all knew he was joking but it was cute. 

Now at the advanced age of 66, Rick doesn't use this skill so he is very rusty.

I was wearing a sports bra yesterday and he came up behind me and I felt what he was trying to do and I began to laugh. 

He laughed too and said, "Oh my God I'm old and can no longer snap off your bra"  I told the damn fool that I was wearing a sports bra there were no snaps, hooks, or any type of gizmo like that. 

You basically put this on over your head.

He said,"so I haven't lost my talent then?"   

Oh brother. No one thinks this is a talent, Richard! Get over yourself.

Fast forward to the next morning when getting dressed.  

I had on a real bra and my leggings and I went into the laundry room to get a top that was hanging to dry. 

As I walk back into the bedroom the old fool tried to undo my bra. 

I laughed so hard I had tears. 

He can no longer do one snap and off it comes. 

He is tugging and twisting and I can't stop laughing. 

I said, "you know I feel this right?"  We fall onto the bed howling in laughter.

He said it's gone, my talent is gone. I've lost my mojo.

I don't think the rest of the world will have a funeral for that loss trust me, Rick. I hated standing at the kitchen sink and the next thing I know my bra is off. He found it funny as most 12 yr old boys would. I did not.

I am not mourning the loss of this 'skill'.  He will just have to learn a new one. Perhaps fixing my walker? Giving my rocker a kick start? Turning up my hearing aid? Counting my pills? Finding me charmin?