My Mail

My mail of late consists of the following things:
Need cancer insurance?
Need life insurance? 

You must need hearing aids, you're an old coot! (c'mon what fun is that?)

How about a cemetery plot? 

Need a chair that will catapult you to a standing position - we can catapult you across the room!

Need help going up those stairs, have we got a chair for you!

Need help in the shower? We've got a cold seat for you to sit on.

Yep, it goes on and on like this. I suppose far better than my standard bills. 

Although I don't get many bills via US mail anymore. All done via computer. 

So my mail these days is pitiful and makes me feel old and does a damn good job of reminding me that I am.

Speaking of old. Rick and his ugly chair had to part ways for a newer ugly chair. I thought he was going to cry. 

I believe I told you about his new ugly chair. It arrived damaged so they picked it up yesterday and gave us a new one. This time the wrong color. 

I give up!  It was pure hell to get this exchanged now I need to do it again!

So now I have a sea of brown. Brown chair, brown leather sofa. Hideous. The chair was supposed to be a gray stucco color.  Oh but lazy boy Rick doesn't want to send it back. Boy, there are days I wish I lived with a designer. But then he'd probably not like girls so there is that issue.  

I need a heterosexual Nate Berkus is what I need. 

I really don't get the need to fully recline all the time. I really don't get the obsession with men and recliners. And this damn thing keeps him in this chair forever. Power the headrest to another position, lumbar support can move, it has everything for him but a catheter. The old coot must still get up to pee. I imagine if they come out with that kind of chair it will fly off the shelves. Honestly!  This is when I hate the word compromise. I compromise on a lot - but why must I compromise my design?

Aargh.  I know, I know, we share the house. blah, blah, blah. 

God, it's ugly. 

I have a leather chair in the TV room on the 3rd floor. We both love this club chair. It does not look like a recliner but it reclines. He isn't as comfortable in that chair because it has a short back he claims.  He says it is comfortable as a chair. 

Being a tall guy he wants his head to be able to touch the top of the chair. This chair is a bit too low in that area for him. I get it. It fits me just fine and it's gorgeous. So of course it isn't to Rick's liking. I swear if it is the ugliest chair in the showroom that is what he gravitates toward. 

I sometimes think the perfect marriage would be if he lived next door.

He can take out my garbage, reach the tall things for me, and service me.

😀 Then go home. 

He can watch the stupid things he watches on TV all by himself.  He can sit in his stupid ugly chair all night long with no one looking at him seething.  

He can snore all night long and I wouldn't have to hear it. 

See isn't that a good arrangement?  My bathroom would also stay far cleaner without the hairy beast and his shedding. 

Rick could care less about baseball. He watches it all for me. He keeps up with it slightly for me. I told him last night as he sat grinning in his new ugly chair that we were going to watch the game if I had to look at this - that will be the compromise.

He said, "fine with me"   I mean to tell you it wasn't like he was going to go to another room, he'd have to leave his chair.

Damn, it wasn't a painful compromise for him. Yet, I was trying.  

After the 5th inning and we were ahead he said he was going to get something more to drink. He presses his little buttons on his remote that puts in him in the upright position and he fetches his drink. He asks what I'd like, "A new chair!!!"   

For whatever reason that made him laugh like crazy. 

"Margaret you just have to suck it up. We'll get you something pretty"

You are loving this, aren't you? 

Yep, I am. I just don't see it as ugly and so what about the color, not like it is a bad clash of colors.  Maybe if you sit in it you'll see.

I got up and sat in it. My feet don't touch the ground so it rocked backward and I am not diggin' this. I used my abs unlike him who keeps pressing the remote to sit him upright, I actually got up and said, "Nope it's all yours"

So he sat there all happy because he is keeping this ugly chair.

I ignored him and his chair and watched the game which made me happy.

This is a marriage compromise if there ever was one. 

9-3 We won!  2 more wins to go.