Yesterday was 94 degrees with the typical southern humidity.
Rick went to a home where the person who was renting the home let him in. The landlord made these arrangements.
Rick had all the info of course going in. I even told him that it was difficult understanding her at times but she was kind enough when I asked her to repeat she wasn't bothered. I assumed she was Russian or Polish or both. The accent to me was Russian.
I immediately thought Boris and Natasha as I was listening to her.
Moose and Squirrel just had to be close by! (for those too young, Bullwinkle (moose) was a cartoon with Russian spies Boris and Natasha)
Rick walked into her home after his first job saying it was like he was hit in the face with a furnace when he opened that door.
It was now afternoon and hot as hell outside.
She did not have A/C on. Of course, Rick was working on the top floor so it was a lovely sweltering degrees up there.
He came home after a 45-minute commute with his air in the truck on high the whole way home. He was still drenched in sweat. His shirt was wet and he looked so miserable. He said hello and went directly to the shower.
Then he proceeded to vent for 20 minutes. Why the hell aren't people using their air in weather like this? What is wrong with people? I said well she's from Russia where it is very cold so maybe she likes her house at 100 degrees.
He did not smile.
Perhaps she was poor. We don't know. But he was hot and crankly.
By 7pm he was better. He was in our home and it is very cold. Even now as I type this I am wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. By lunchtime, I will need to walk Izzy again and I'll be in shorts and a shirt but this morning it feels chilly in here and I actually like it.
I am throwing a shower for my niece. This whole thing was/is a disaster.
First of all those folks up in my hometown do not take COVID-19 seriously.
They are not well-traveled or well educated and so they don't go far. So lucky for them they don't have a lot of it there. That in and of itself keeps things down for them. They are proud to tell you they never go outside this 10 block radius as if that is a wonderful thing. Yes, they said this before the pandemic.
They have had birthday parties at my mom's in the last month.
No social distancing. No mask-wearing.
They all behave like nothing is going on in the world.
Now I have to go up there to a bridal shower in a cramped room with 50 people.
50 people from other states as well as this little town.
The state says this is not appropriate. Yet we are doing this. I want to not go.
I can't see how to get out of it though since I am paying.
I went on their state/PA site and what you can and can't do in each phase.
We can't do this per their governor, yet we are. If I could avoid going I so would. Rick has decided it best for him to not go now due to this. Hopefully, I bring nothing home to him. As I have said, He will not survive this with his serious health issues.
I have discussed with the venue about the covid protocol and she is poo-pooing it all. She just doesn't want me to ask for my money back. Her attitude is sickening and I imagine she wears a red hat if you know what I mean.
I wish they would be shut down. It is in 4 weeks.
It's been a major headache from the get-go. I will never ever offer it again.
I did it for her sister who was a dream to work with. This has been a nightmare from day 1. I felt I couldn't do it for 1 person and not the other so I offered.
I told my other niece that I will just give her the money. I will not do this again!!!
I hope to finish the centerpieces this weekend and then I can be done with that part at least.
This is one of 10,000 reasons I don't live up there.
A good friend of mine keeps sending us homes for sale in Willoughby Ohio.
(suburb of Cleveland) trying to convince us to move there. No way. Too close to family. I lived in Willoughby in my very early 30's. 90 minutes is not far away enough. Family would not call but show up on my doorstep.All kinds of family. One weekend Rick was visiting and we had a um, how shall I say? A day in bed. How is that?
My doorbell rang. Rick looked out the window and said your parents are here!!!
WHAT? We scurried and got dressed and hit the buzzer for them to come up.
The place had to "reek" of "our love" Oh that is funny. But you know what I am saying. They just showed up whenever. It didn't matter if I was a state away, they felt they didn't need to call they are family. They sucked me into their dysfunctional drama they were having with their 2nd set of kids. I wanted no part of it but then I was given a good dose of guilt and I'd do what they wanted or pressured me to do. No, I will never live that close to family again. I don't care if they give me a free house. I won't do it!!! Self-preservation.
I often wonder how my life would be different if my mom hadn't died.
I believe she and Dad would have divorced if they would/could. My father's religion was against divorce but apparently not against his fooling around on his wives Ah, good ole religion.
My mom living would mean I would have only had 1 sister not 4.
I would have had a cheerleader and support system with my mom as she was before she died. That left with her. I wonder if during my teen years if I would have hated her. I didn't get a chance to fight or hate her because she died when I was 13. She was sick for a long time and I never wanted to upset her. So I wonder if we would have had all those teen years of yelling at one another that I see on TV. I had that with my father but not my stepmom. She hid behind dad and I didn't feel comfortable talking to her at that age let alone talking back to her. That took years! :-)
Would I have made different choices? I had a year of caring for my father and my sister. (This is not counting the time mom was sick prior to death or in the hospital for weeks.) I had a year of not being able to be a cheerleader or join anything after school because my father wanted me home to have dinner on the table for him and my sister by 5:00-5:30pm. I had to help her with her homework, cook, make sure her clothes were clean and pressed for school as well as doing the same for this helpless man, you know your typical cinderella shit. After that short time I made a proclamation that I was not getting married or having children this shit was horrible. I stuck to the children's part. But as I got older I often wondered if I had not had to do that from age 13-14 would I have seen children differently and had some? I don't regret my decision in any way but often wonder if I would have made the same one if I had not experienced that. I'm 80-20 thinking I'd make the same decision but often wonder.
Anything happen in your life that made you choose a certain path?
15 comments:
The hear was on yesterday and still today. We are still waiting for a storm.
Cruisin Paul
Your story resonates for me - I won't recount my story because this isn't the place for it. But yes I too decided, at an early age, earlier than you, that I would never have children or marry. I didn't have children and don't regret that decision. I married when I was 44 and DO regret that decision.
Paul, it will cool off by the weekend.
Grace, I'm sorry to hear you regret that decision. That's difficult.
I am one of those old people who doesn't turn on my A/C very often but I do try to remember to have it on when workers or company is over. I can afford to pay the costs but it still seems so wasteful when it's just me in a great big house. Up until 16 years ago I didn't have a choice...no central A/C in former houses...so I know the heat won't kill me.
My hubs is awful about the air! I get home in the afternoons and it's 78 in the house!!!! He is such a stickler on money but I keep telling him he's spending more to cool it down. In the mornings if he gets up before I go to work he will turn the air up! I have it on 71 so I can get dressed with out melting! So I asked him one day can you leave it alone until I'm gone to work - 30 minutes? He finally left it alone and sat in his chair with a blanket freezing. I have never seen a man who can live without the air on!
It's still not too late to cancel. You're going to have to self-quarantine for 14 days when you get back home.
What a predicament. I know you're deep into this shower business at this point, so it's difficult to pull back. Maybe call in sick?
These are interesting ponderings from having lost your mom when you were so young. It's hard for me to imagine since both my parents lived to old ages and stayed married. Plus, I was the youngest and didn't have to do any of that "Cinderella shit". Nature and nurture are definitely both factors in how we end up as adults!
I hope you get a break from the heat and humidity. We had snow this week. WHAAAT??
Jean, I couldn't live without air. I don't know how you do it. My dog would die as well. Turn off the vents to the floors you don't use. I just can't fathom. But you live where 80 is hot so that could be helpful
Mike - Mmmm....
April - it is usually the men who like it cold. How funny. We like our bedroom to be like a meat locker. And you are correct, my dad being a plumbing heating and air conditioning guy would also tell us that. Making it work harder he'd say. Your hubby doesn't buy that huh? :-)
Abby, really? snow? Today I think I'd like it. It was even too hot for the dog. I prefer cool temps like 70-75. If it's 90s in June, which is normally July, then I fear August.
Yes yes and yes! Don't even get me started as I can not risk putting it down on the internet for some to see but I can TOTALLY relate. I am hitting super frustration on my world as well and I am so sick of the privileged and elite attitudes. UGH
I always feel like I never made any choices, just drifted along where ever the wind pushed me. If course that is a major choice in itself. I can't say I have too many regrets. I figure I'll do better in my next lifetime.
Annsterw, 🙂 I guess you get it then. It sounds to me like you're living my life. I feel the same.
Olga,I never regret a thing I've done. Only things I wish I had done. But I always had goals and plans but life has a way of making that wind blow another direction and there goes your "plans"
Was Natasha old? I loved Bullwinkle. Old people have poor circulations and like it warmer. I know I put my A/C on 80 with ceiling fans most of the summer.
I often think if I hadn't married my ex my life would have been totally different. He was emotionally abusive so I while I was not turned off from men, I was turned off of marriage. Came close many times, just couldn't take the chance.
You did not have it easy Peg. I am sorry.
Interesting how we make choices when we are VERY young and stick to them, isn't it? I've had to address some of those choices recently...not fun.
Linda, yep I have had to address them too in counseling. I wanted to hate my dad and had conflict within that didn't let me. I had to find a way to love him, not like his behavior or treatment of me but I will say, it made me strong, independent and focused on what kind of man I would tolerate or not. So in a lot of ways he taught me a lot without him evening knowing it you know? I still struggle with family issues. But it also gave me my "Peggy face" which has helped me a great deal in life. I so wish my parents had divorced instead of her dying. When she died I knew I no longer had a cheerleader in my corner. I was alone. She talked to me about this before she died. We knew she was dying. That was a tear feast of a conversation and I remember it as if it were 10 minutes ago and it was 50 yrs ago. Don't ask me what I ate for dinner - I don't remember. But that I remember oh so well.
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