Dating

Yesterday Jean wrote about a 1st date. I had lots of first dates.
I always found something wrong with them and never had a 2nd.
And when I didn't listen to my inner voice I had horrible 2nd dates.

I told Jean about this guy I met at a party. He seemed nice enough.
I wasn't thinking, Ooooh hummina hummina. No, but he seemed like a nice guy.
Gotta give the nice guys a chance, right?
He wanted to take this road trip. We were going to wineries in NY and drive along the shores of Lake Erie. I knew this trip well and it was pretty. So we were to follow the road along the lake from PA to upstate.
It was a nice summer day. 
And back in this neck of the woods on the lake summer meant  only 75 - 80. 
So in other words perfect weather.

He picked me up in a filthy car. How he could see out his windows is anyone's guess. Then I opened the door. There was so much shit all over the floors, seats front and back. I was appalled and boy I didn't want to get in that smelly gross car.  I moved things around on the floor so there was somewhere for my feet to go. I was afraid to put my purse down on anything. He said we were going to stop at a gas station after my house. As soon as he got out to pump gas, I jumped out and washed his windows. Then I asked if the stuff on the floor could be thrown out. (hell it was all fast food and mail) He said go for it. Then I went inside and washed my hands and off we went. He thought I was going to the bathroom. NO I needed to wash my hands - his car and that shit on the floor was so gross. We had an okay time. I choose to never see him again.
My friends kept asking me why. "he seems so nice"  I made the mistake of saying he had dirty windows and we were going on a road trip. Before I could finish Melanie, Michael and Mark jumped all over me. I still hear about this guy.
Michael kept saying, Peg has her standards. Oh c'mon.  But I go along with it because I know how it sounds.

Ever see the episode of Friends when Ross goes home with the gorgeous blonde (Rebecca Romijn) and her home is a pig stye. His car looked like her apartment. Although Rick tells me he dated someone that had an apartment like that woman n Friends and he had to stop seeing her so we are both shallow humans. Hey, when a mouse runs out of the bag of chips on your coffee table it may be time to clean. Of course, that didn't stop him from having sex with her because she was a tall voluptuous blonde.
This is where we are VERY different.

Then there was a man I met out. Oh my goodness he was fun. He was funny, quick and smart and all of us at the table were having a great time. He told funny stories, he was talkative and warm.  I got up to get another drink and he followed me. He asked me to go out the next night. I was thrilled. Okay, I spent hours deciding what to wear and changing a hundred times. He picked me up and was so quiet. I asked if everything is okay. He said, Yes why?
I said, "well last night you were so animated and today you are so quiet"
He smiled and said, I get a bit different if drinking brown liquor.
We went to dinner and the conversation was painful. I made a choice after 10 minutes this was not a date. I would pay my self because I didn't ever want to see this guy again. He was a sleeper. We each had a glass of wine and then he wanted to go to this place on the beach with volley ball etc. It was so difficult to have a conversation with him. I just wanted to go home or get him shit faced on brown liquor to make him fun again. This date felt like it lasted 5 weeks instead of hours. I just wanted to go home. When he asked if he could see me again I said I didn't think we were a good fit but I'd see him as a friend.
I went out with this dude when I was just friends with Rick. Rick called me the next day and asked how my date went. He howled. Then I asked about his which was just as bad. We shared our war stories for years.

Back in the 80s my friend Connie and I had a Valentine's Day Party.
VD party as we called it.  She invited her friends and I invited mine.
I met a man there that was about 6'4". He followed me like a puppy.
I didn't wish to go out with him. I was trying to be nice but he wasn't getting it.
I called him The Tree. He was a very big boy.
And let me tell you I just love very big boys but this guy was a dufus.
I like 'em big. Not big 'n dumb.
He asked me all night for my number. I said no. I said no in all kinds of ways.
I actually said, "You seem like a nice guy but I just got divorced and don't wish to date for a long while. But thank you."  While I had just gotten a divorced 2 years prior he didn't know. I thought it was a nice way to say no. But not to him. He just kept at me. Later I said, "I'm really sorry but I'm just not dating (true) and I don't want to have to keep saying no to you". His response? "Then don't."
So I gave in. I gave him my number. When I didn't wish for someone to have my number I always gave my number with the last number being incorrect.
He backed off as soon as I gave him the number. I never heard from him as you can well imagine. Connie said her friend of The Tree asked and Connie told him that I did not wish to go out with him and she told him but he wouldn't listen.  I felt bad, but not enough to go out with him.

I gave the wrong number a few times in my life. It was easy to do.
You know your number easily and just changing the last number makes you be able to say it quickly as if it is your number. 833-4694. Yep it was 4693.  I know a million women who have done this. But we only do it if the guy can't take no for an answer. I always have been straight up no chaser but if I tell you 3 x NO, then you get the wrong number. We couldn't block in those days so what else was there to do if telling them no more than once isn't working?

I had a horrific date with a guy that picked me up with a baby seat in the back of the car. I asked him what that was about. He told me he had no kids and was not married. He said it wasn't his car.  My radar was up. When we stopped at a Sheetz (gas station ) he went in to pay. I being a nosey wench, looked through his glove box. There were baby wipes and receipts from department stores.
Then I saw the registration and it wasn't his car. But the last name was the same.
So when he returned I asked who's car this was. He said a sister. I just didn't believe him. He teased me about being paranoid.  He made me out to be the crazy one as crazy ones do. We went to a favorite haunt for a couple of drinks and a friend of his came up to him and they did the ole male bonding handshakes and I sat there.
I was not introduced. He kept his back to me as if I was not with him. Okay, now I am convinced that he was lying to me. He was married. So I turned my stool around and put out my hand to shake this "friend" of his and said, "Hi, my name is Peggy."  He shook my hand and said, "hi" as if he was thinking I was just a stranger and why the hell am I interrupting his talk with his friend.  My date turned 10 shades of red. I looked at him and said, "So the baby seat was yours and you're married aren't you?"  His friend stood there with his mouth open.
My date said nothing. I threw some money on the bar for my drink. I grabbed my purse and said, "Your silence speaks volumes. I don't date married guys or shit heads and it appears you are both"  I walked out. I walked to a bar-restaurant that was 2 doors down. I used a pay phone and called my friend to come get me.
My friend Mike picked me up. He wanted to go back to the bar I was at to see this dude and I asked to let's please just go home!  Mike lived 2 blocks from my house and he saved my ass a few times in my single life.
In return, I told him all the dumb ass things he did to women who he dated, tried to date, or wanted to date. He was so clueless that poor man.

Now Rick's stories are damn funny. And because we were friends I saw and heard them all. Up close and I would just laugh and laugh. I used to tell him he could be a movie. Now it would be reality TV.
I think I may share a few of these tomorrow. He was such a goof ball.
I am just oh so thankful I am not dating anymore.