I love walking. But hiking, no thank you.
I went up a mountain in Colorado with friends, bitching and making them laugh most of the way. Finally, I stopped, sweating in 93-degree weather and dying and asked, "is there going to be a beverage and/or cheesecake when I get to the top or wherever the hell we are going today?"
Laughter.
No, Peg there won't be. It went on like this -
I mean seriously, nothing is going to be there?
Nothing, but the fact you did this. You accomplished the mountain.
Why do I wish to do this?
Don't you feel great?
F-no I am sweating buckets, I am hotter than hell and this is not fun.
I will do pilates, yoga, spin cycle anything I enjoy more than this for exercise. You lied about what we were doing and have us doing this.
I'm heading back to my hotel I HATE THIS.
See ya'll later as I turned and walked back down.
They tried to talk me back but I never looked back at them once I decided to leave, I waved to them backwards and walked down that damn hill/mountain whatever.
Yes, I made it back to my hotel.
I took a shower and headed to the bar. I had a wonderful martini in air conditioning. Suddenly a woman that was in the group while hiking bellied up to the bar and said that I gave her the courage to say she hated every moment of this hike and wanted to go back down.
So we laughed and had drinks together. Last mountain hike ever.
I do not understand the appeal. I am glad others get all they get from it, but I don't get it. So go forth, climb a mountain to your heart's content.
If you wish to walk 5 miles or more I'm your gal, just not climbing/hiking.
If at the end of this hike there are 3 wishes that will come true, or a cocktail and elevator to take me down or chocolate for life with no calories, I may consider it. MAYBE.
As for jogging. Stupid. That is all I can say.
According to my orthopedic, no advantage of running over walking.
So there is that.
Then you add in big boobs and well even in a sports bra it sucks.
I have mentioned here before that in high school there were no sports bras.
So I would outstretch my arms and be wrapped in an ace bandage to keep those sweater puppies under control while I was cheerleading or doing anything that involved running and jumping. But now as an adult, I can just say no, just like Nancy Reagan told me.
So if you ask me to go jogging, I will just say no. If I am in a hurry to get somewhere I will drive my car.
I have an old friend who gets so friggin' high and mighty about her jogging.
I'm happy this gives her so much pleasure. I think that is wonderful.
But she just had 2 hips replaced and she is not to jog anymore, just walk was what her doctor told her. Her doctor told her that was the reason she was having these hips replaced so young (59). HAH! He told her walking could give her the same results and to try it. She isn't going to even listen. She must run. Okay, run, run like the wind. Just don't be all that judgemental about others who find they would rather go to the dentist or gynecologist than to jog.
So now when I say to you, I've gotta run.
You know that just means I'm leaving.
14 comments:
Joggers are all nuts. The worst are the ones who jog along busy streets and suck in all the fumes from passing cars. How healthy can that be? And a lot of them have the same attitude as your friend...like it gives them moral superiority to be joggers.
I didn't mind climbing and hiking when I was under 40 but I went two years ago and was so afraid I'd fall and break something I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. People who love hiking should thank people like you who hate it because if everyone did it their trails would be too crowded.
Love your humor as always.
Jean YES, moral superiority. Perfect for how she makes me feel. And damn it woman you are right, they should thank me because if there was a wine stop or cheesecake I'd be on that trail!
I agree with Jean. Jogger are nuts. I also think runners are nuts. Walking is OK but I find that even difficult at times. After my stroke my right foot has no feeling so even walking is tough because I not sure when my foot is down so I have to me careful. I wish I could go back to the days when I could play baseball, hockey, referee hockey, everything. Oh well, I'm still alive. See ya Peg.
Cruisin Paul
Sorry for feeling so bad. I don't really feel that bad.
Paul, I agree, we are happy you are alive! Even if you could walk better since the stroke, you wouldn't be playing baseball, hockey or anything that crazy at your age! :-)
So you are just fine the way you are.
LOL! I love this post! My mother, her friend and I went hiking in Kauai, HI. It was supposed to be 3 miles along a cliffside on the ocean. It was 90 plus degrees and I was dying! I went the whole way but complained the ENTIRE time. It was beautiful views but in the end, ended up being 13 miles!!! Cra cra! My mothers friend was sick of hearing me gripe, but that was the hike to end all hikes!!! I was beautiful but it sucked - HA!
Ann, it was beautiful from a lot of places where you did not have to hike high for 13 miles. :-) See the trick is to make them laugh. I did that all the way up the hill until they told me to stop because they couldn't laugh and breathe. HA! So when I left they were just as happy
HA! Love your hiking commentary - and your exit! As for me, I love to both run and climb mountains - for fun, not thinking it's "superior". In fact, I know walking is considered healthier. Well, it probably has something to do with my little boobs. But I know plenty of people who find hiking "painful and nauseating" and running "drudgery", and I'm not about to judge!
Thank you Abby. Like I said I love it if it gives you something. It made me ill.😋
My ortho guy told me "no running or jogging". I said NOT a problem. I was actually following his advice before he even gave it to me.
I had to laugh at you trying to tame your boobs in school. I had a friend like you who really wanted to play golf but she couldn't swing the club past her boobs. And here I use to envy you well endowed girls. We work with what we've got so saying NO is a great idea.
So smart there Mike.
Patti - I couldn't play golf either. When I met Rick he had to golf (he hates it) for work and asked me to go with him. I told him the issue and he said that can't be true. He assumed I must be holding the club all wrong or some such thing. So I went, I showed him the issue. He laughed and that was the end of that.
I walk a lot for exercise and I actually do enjoy hiking although I don't do it so much anymore. Joggers drive me a bit nuts when they are out at dawn or dusk in dawn and dusk colored clothing (bicyclists too). When I lived in the country there were two women who went by house every morning around 6:30. That was the time I was leaving for work. It was the out in the country, narrow road, but even if there was a white out storm, there they were. Never seemed to occur to them that it might have been safer to just skip a jog that day. No, more fun to obstruct two way traffic and play chicken with the plow trucks. Stupid.
Well Olga, I have never see any real highways running through VT so it would always be those kinds of roads and how silly to play chicken like that. Hiking if not climbing a mountain is okay, I guess I didn't clarify that well.
I love running, can't wait to get back to it!
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